Heartbreak and God's Plan, Morality of Body Hair and Medical Ethics, and Understanding Foreplay in Marriage | ACW323

Questions answered this episode:

1. I'm a 25-year-old man, called by God to marriage. Two years ago, I met a girl who helped in the same parish as me, and I fell in love with her. After a few months, we spoke about it, but she kindly rejected me. We lost contact, and I went through a deep crisis of faith. I felt abandoned, extremely and hopelessly alone. After a time, I came back to her city, and we served again together in the same parish. Shortly after, she broke up with her boyfriend and asked me to continue our friendship. She made it clear that although she was open to us having a romantic relationship, I should not expect any concrete outcome to the friendship. I accepted the challenge, and for a year, we struggled to learn to love each other as close, tender friends, embracing with all our hearts whatever God would want from us. Together, we tried to follow the example of Francis and Clare of Assisi. Recently, she told me that she felt the call to consecrated virginity and decided to go to another country to discern this more intensely. My heart reacted to this news with immense joy. I experienced my friend’s happiness as my own and felt the grace of God flowing from her heart. This friendship has healed the wound of that hopeless loneliness I felt when she first rejected me. My deepest desire is her happiness, and I know she will find it—whether with Christ or even with another man. But somehow, the secondary desire remains—that she would be the mother of my children and the companion of my dreams. I know we’ve experienced something rare and wonderful, yet I ask myself if any woman will ever fall erotically in love with me. What would your advice be to heal this wound?
2. Is there any Catholic teaching concerning body hair? Is it immoral to be waxed in certain places, considering that it involves exposing oneself to the person doing the waxing? Secondly, I'm in law school and learning about criminal procedure. One of my classes was discussing a rape case and having to collect semen samples from several different suspects. That led to me pondering the morality of collecting semen samples, also like for medical purposes, and what a Catholic approach to that would be in light of our teachings.
3. My husband and I have been married for 20 years, have four kids, and have always used natural family planning. I recently heard on a Catholic podcast that any type of making out is sinful unless it is meant as foreplay and must end in intercourse. I always thought foreplay was morally permissible as long as it does not lead to climax by either person or incomplete sexual intercourse. Could you please clarify? I would hate to think we've been offending God our whole marriage but would rather be corrected now than never.

Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul II’s beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.

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