i cared too much most of my life. this caused me to lose a sense of self + quite naturally, live a life crafted and determined by others. at age 18 is when i unconsciously decided to live life on my own terms + get closer to being my most authentic self. however, there were a few bumps in the road on this journey. my actions, interests and appearance were questioned- creating a battle within making me questions myself. i found myself conforming + performing to be liked and understood, losing bits and pieces of myself in the process. the past few years is when it really began to be unbearable. the pressure of living for others interfered with the pleasure of living at all. a life isn't well lived if it isn't lived for you + on your own terms. the burden of conformity forced me to an unstable space. and for that, i am grateful. every f*ck that i ever gave vanished into thin air. who will i be if I can't be me?
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