If you’ve ever swallowed your anger to keep the peace, lost yourself in someone else’s needs, or swapped drinking for late-night snack binges, this episode is for you. On this week’s Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia is joined by Michelle Farris—psychotherapist, codependency expert, and anger management specialist—to talk about the deeper emotional work that comes with recovery. Michelle is known for her relatable approach and tools that help people stop people-pleasing, speak up for themselves, and finally build relationships that feel safe and real.
What happens when we suppress anger in sobriety? How do we even recognize it if we were never taught what healthy anger looks like? Can we be codependent on someone who isn’t codependent on us?
In this episode, Sonia and Michelle unpack what anger can teach us about ourselves, how codependency often hides behind “being nice,” and why food addiction recovery is often the next frontier in sobriety.
Michelle shares practical strategies for identifying emotional triggers, creating healthy boundaries, and noticing the early signs of resentment before it explodes. You'll learn how to reframe your inner dialogue and develop self-talk that actually helps regulate intense emotions.
Michelle also opens up about her own story—getting sober from food addiction at 20, what it was like dating someone in active addiction while working her own program, and the unexpected friendship breakup that made her realize she was still making other people her higher power, and how the desire to be loved can sometimes override our own sense of safety.
This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources.
Episode Highlights (Timestamps)
00:00 – Meet Michelle Farris, psychotherapist and codependency expert
01:45 – Why she started teaching anger management (and how it cracked her open)
03:15 – What healthy anger actually looks like—and why it’s not yelling
04:40 – Stuffing your feelings vs. naming your hurt
06:00 – Why journaling is the safest place to let your rage out
07:30 – “Anger is rocket fuel”—how to recognize the heat before it explodes
08:45 – The connection between negative self-talk and emotional regulation
10:00 – What resentment really is (and why it’s sneaky)
11:20 – How suppressing anger can sabotage recovery
12:30 – Can you be angry and make amends? What recovery programs miss
14:15 – When anger turns inward—it often looks like guilt or shame
15:00 – Using mindfulness to stay present with your emotions
16:40 – Michelle’s story of getting sober through OA at age 20
18:00 – How food was her comfort and first addiction
19:30 – The sugar trap: what often happens in early sobriety
21:00 – Physical hunger vs. emotional hunger—how to tell the difference
22:15 – Why surrender, not control, is the key to food addiction recovery
23:30 – Trigger foods, writing a food history, and the power of structure
25:00 – Is it okay to wait before addressing food issues in recovery?
26:45 – Codependency 101: what it is, how it shows up, and why it’s a cycle
28:00 – Can you be codependent with a friend? (Michelle’s raw story says yes)
29:30 – Boundaries that work: why “I” statements are your best friend
31:00 – The people-pleasing trap: when kindness costs you your peace
32:15 – Flexible or codependent? The litmus test
34:00 – How to stop saying “yes” when your gut says “no”
35:30 – Michelle’s favorite recovery tools for emotional resilience
36:45 – The power of in-person meetings, especially post-COVID
38:00 – One last reminder: you’re allowed to take up space, feel your anger, and still be sober.
Michelle Farris Links
🌐 Website: counselingrecovery.com
📺 YouTube: @MichelleFarrismft
📸 Instagram: @counseling_recovery
SIS Links
💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen
📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram
🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast
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