Why Moderation Didn’t Work (Twice) With Chris Janssen

In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia sits down with Chris Janssen—board-certified coach, author of Grace Yourself: How to Show Up for the Sober Life You Want, and all-around powerhouse when it comes to helping high-achieving women let go of shame and perfectionism and finally get free.

Chris doesn’t just coach people through sobriety and mindset shifts—she’s lived it. After 14 years of sobriety, she found herself drinking again. She had the perfect life on paper, a thriving coaching practice, and a head full of recovery tools… and still, alcohol crept back in. What happened next? A whole lot of hard truths, humbling lessons, and eventually—freedom. Again.

In this chat, we’re getting into: • What to do when you think maybe you can drink again

• Why it’s so easy to fall into the “I should be able to moderate” trap

• How to tell the difference between fear and vigilance

• What to do when you’re stuck in perfectionism and performance pressure

• Why community is the non-negotiable (even if you're embarrassed to go back)

• The truth about relapsing—and why you are never, ever starting over from zero

Chris also shares some incredibly powerful coaching tools for breaking toxic patterns, reframing setbacks, and rewriting your own rules. Spoiler alert: they’re useful whether you’re on Day One or Day 3,000.

This is one of those episodes that’ll stick with you—because it’s real, raw, and hopeful as hell.

This is Sisters in Sobriety—the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Come hang out on our Substack for tips, community, and the kind of conversations you won’t hear anywhere else.

Episode Highlights:

00:00 – Meet Chris Janssen: mindset coach, bestselling author, and secretly-struggling wine mom turned sober sage

01:30 – Chris’s first sober journey: high-functioning on the outside, suffering on the inside

05:00 – The moment everything changed: one meeting, one sentence, and a huge weight lifted

07:15 – Raising three kids in sobriety and why “no one ever saw me drunk” isn’t the whole story

09:00 – 14 years later: the move, the pandemic, the identity crisis, and the return of wine

11:10 – Trying to “think” your way through moderation (and why it never works)

13:30 – The trap of perfectionism: how losing her sober streak messed with her mind

15:00 – When sober groups don’t fit—and why it’s okay to admit they’re not for you

17:30 – The mindful drinking myth and other lies we tell ourselves

19:00 – Fear vs. vigilance: how to fast-forward the tape without spiraling

21:00 – Playing it smart, not scared: tools for staying sober without white-knuckling

23:00 – Relapse shame, pride in reverse, and why going back can be the bravest move

26:00 – Labels, stigma, and what to say when people ask why you don’t drink

30:00 – What “grace yourself” really means—and how to stop trying to control your worth

33:00 – Releasing perfectionism: write down your made-up rules and start again

35:45 – Boredom or serenity? Why stillness freaks us out

37:00 – First steps for breaking a cycle when you feel totally stuck

39:00 – Peak performance and recovery: choosing your hard and focusing forward

41:15 – How Chris wishes she’d handled her relapse

43:30 – Do you really have to go back to Day One? (Spoiler: maybe not)

45:00 – What’s next for Chris: more coaching, more writing, more realness

Links & Resources:

🌐 Chris Janssen’s Website

📘 Grace Yourself (Book)

📸 Chris on Instagr