June 27, 2019 • 7 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Morning. Everybody is d j envy angela ye cholomgne to God.
We all the breakfast club. It's time for ask ee.
We got Chelsea on the line. Chelsea, good morning, good morning. Hey,
what's your question for you? Hey? Chelsea, Hi, I'm calling
form Atlanta shout Out today. I was calling because, Okay,
(00:20):
my husband and I have been married for two years,
we were dating for three and his family owns a
law firm and his ex works with him. Okay, and
his family always invites her to all of the family activities.
I was wondering, is it weird to have feelings that
(00:40):
that still happened even though we're married. So a couple
of questions. Before you got married, the whole time you
guys were dating, he did still work with his ex,
and she doesn't do inappropriate things like call in the
middle of the night or text messages and nothing crazy. No,
So you have no reason other than the fact that
he did used to sleep with this woman to be
(01:02):
upset because he hasn't done anything and she hasn't done anything.
Right right, That alright? Because I can see if there
was some fishy business going on, but it sounds like
it's just you not, and I can understand that that's
the real feelings that you know, it's a certain way,
but it's the family respectful towards you for the most part.
I mean, it's just kind of weird. I feel like
(01:23):
it's disrespectful to include her and activity still right, Well,
you know what, that's a conversation that you should have
with him and be honest about it, and then he
should be able to bring that to his family. I
would tell him, like, I know that I don't feel
like anything's going on, and I'm not trying to accuse
you of anything, but it does make me uncomfortable when
outside of work, she's invited to things because we are
(01:45):
married now, so out of respect for me, I would
appreciate if we could try to keep that, you know,
out of our relationship, you know, and when it has
something that when it has nothing to do with work,
let's just keep a family and let her move on
with her life and not have to see you at
work and in her spare time as well. But you
gotta give him credit for not making you feel awkward
(02:07):
about it as as best as he can, because it
doesn't seem like anything's going on, and it's a shame
when we let outside things ruin our relationship. That is
so true. All right, thank you so much, and I'll
be sure to do that. Okay, good and good luck
with that. And I think respectfully, like even if his
family does at times invite her, at least he can
be aware that it does make you feel somewhat awkward,
(02:28):
and he can be respectful and make sure he caters
to you in that way. Right, all right, good luck, mama?
You all right? Ask ye five A five one oh
five one. If you need relationship advice or any type
of advice, you can call ye right now. It's the
Breakfast Love good morning morning. Everybody is d j Envy,
Angela Yee, Charlemagne the guy. We all the breakfast club.
(02:51):
We're in the middle of. Ask ye if you need
relationship advice or any type of advice, you can call
up right now. Hello. Who's this? Hey, Tiff? What are
you calling from? Charlotte? Okay, North Carolina? What's your question
for you? Good morning? You get money? So, UM, I
have a question in regards to a friendship. UM, I
(03:12):
have a friend. You've been friends for a long time
now at this point I love her to death, but
I just feel like, um, there's just always something going
on with her, and from a friend standpoint, it gets
very tiring of dealing with that, you know, dealing with
her always going through something. And I feel like it
(03:32):
has an impact on our friendship because UM kind of
like a relationship, Our friendship suffers from it because whether
that means us don't in somewhere, she can't because she's
doing something. What if I just need uh friends to
be there, she can't because it's like, oh, welcome, I'm
so sorry. I wish I could be there, but I'm
going through X, Y and Z. It's just always something
(03:54):
and UM, the most recent thing, UM, I moved away.
Don't live next to each other anymore. And she came
in town for one of her friends. UM grandmother passed away,
so she came to be there. She's been in town
for five days and she didn't come to see me,
and she said, well, you know, it's a lot going
on over here. I'm so sorry. That's why I couldn't
(04:16):
make it. And so for me, it's just kind of like, okay,
I had to know. And you know, she said that
you think I'm being a really bit dramatic, but for me,
it's just like, you know, when are you gonna be
a friend to me? And it becomes tiring. So I
just don't really know how to deal with that. Well, Tiffany,
I feel you on that, because sometimes friendships can feel
one Saturday where we feel like we're putting in a
(04:37):
lot more effort and someone is getting a lot more
than their giving right. And friendships are supposed to be reciprocal.
When I need you, you know, you should be there
for me, just like I'm there for you when you
need me. And I will say this sometimes we do
have to and I've had to do this myself, is
let certain friendships just kind of stay in a certain position,
(04:58):
like not have those expectations because it's a shame when
we get let down. So I do have friends that
I noticed that I was always doing stuff for them
and they weren't coming and showing up for me when
I needed them to show up. So what that meant
to me was I'm not gonna exert myself the way
that I have been emotionally physically to do things with you.
If I'm not getting that in return, that doesn't mean
(05:19):
we're not friends. We're still friends, but I just don't
have those expectations that you're going to show up for
me all the time, so that way I don't get
let down. And therefore I don't even ask you to
do certain things because I already know what type of
person you are and you probably aren't gonna show up,
So why should I even put that out there. Now?
That doesn't mean when we see we're still happy when
(05:39):
we see each other. We just don't see each other
as often, and I don't put as much energy into
it as I used to, because the thing is, it's
on you. If you're the person that's still being there
and putting all the energy into it and not getting
it in return, that's on you. Now you already know
what it is. How do you how do you deal
with it? Not feeling hurtful? Or you know you're there
and they don't do that for you in return. Like
(06:00):
I said, you can't force you can't force somebody to
be there for you. And it seems like this might
be just a selfish relation. She's very selfish on her behalf,
and it feels like she thinks what she has going
on to her is more important than being a friend
to you and to me. It's like I wouldn't put
as much energy as you've been putting into that friendship.
That's all. I would just have to realize I'm not
(06:23):
getting that in return. This is who she is, she's
shown me. I've spoken to her about it. She's still
not there for me. She comes with up with excuses.
So now I just have to know what my expectations
are for our friendship. Okay, okay, Because friendships do change
over time, they're not always going to be the same
as they were when we were younger. And I know
we have these obligations when we've known people for so long,
(06:44):
but sometimes we have to let those friendships evolve into
what they are, what they're going to be. You're right,
absolutely right, all right, tiffany where your friends though we care,
we do care, alright, Good luck tifning all ask ye
eight and drink five eight five one oh five one.
If you need advice, relationship advice, or any type of advice,
(07:06):
you can call ye any time. Now. We got rooms
on the way. Yeah, and you know what, maybe you
want some advice from Willow Smith because it looks like
she's very progressive and she's talking about relationships and what
she wants when it comes to romance. All right, we'll
get into that next. Keeping locked this to Breakfast Club.
Good morning,
Morning. Everybody is d j envy angela ye cholomgne to God.
We all the breakfast club. It's time for ask ee.
We got Chelsea on the line. Chelsea, good morning, good morning. Hey,
what's your question for you? Hey? Chelsea, Hi, I'm calling
form Atlanta shout Out today. I was calling because, Okay,
(00:20):
my husband and I have been married for two years,
we were dating for three and his family owns a
law firm and his ex works with him. Okay, and
his family always invites her to all of the family activities.
I was wondering, is it weird to have feelings that
(00:40):
that still happened even though we're married. So a couple
of questions. Before you got married, the whole time you
guys were dating, he did still work with his ex,
and she doesn't do inappropriate things like call in the
middle of the night or text messages and nothing crazy. No,
So you have no reason other than the fact that
he did used to sleep with this woman to be
(01:02):
upset because he hasn't done anything and she hasn't done anything.
Right right, That alright? Because I can see if there
was some fishy business going on, but it sounds like
it's just you not, and I can understand that that's
the real feelings that you know, it's a certain way,
but it's the family respectful towards you for the most part.
I mean, it's just kind of weird. I feel like
(01:23):
it's disrespectful to include her and activity still right, Well,
you know what, that's a conversation that you should have
with him and be honest about it, and then he
should be able to bring that to his family. I
would tell him, like, I know that I don't feel
like anything's going on, and I'm not trying to accuse
you of anything, but it does make me uncomfortable when
outside of work, she's invited to things because we are
(01:45):
married now, so out of respect for me, I would
appreciate if we could try to keep that, you know,
out of our relationship, you know, and when it has
something that when it has nothing to do with work,
let's just keep a family and let her move on
with her life and not have to see you at
work and in her spare time as well. But you
gotta give him credit for not making you feel awkward
(02:07):
about it as as best as he can, because it
doesn't seem like anything's going on, and it's a shame
when we let outside things ruin our relationship. That is
so true. All right, thank you so much, and I'll
be sure to do that. Okay, good and good luck
with that. And I think respectfully, like even if his
family does at times invite her, at least he can
be aware that it does make you feel somewhat awkward,
(02:28):
and he can be respectful and make sure he caters
to you in that way. Right, all right, good luck, mama?
You all right? Ask ye five A five one oh
five one. If you need relationship advice or any type
of advice, you can call ye right now. It's the
Breakfast Love good morning morning. Everybody is d j Envy,
Angela Yee, Charlemagne the guy. We all the breakfast club.
(02:51):
We're in the middle of. Ask ye if you need
relationship advice or any type of advice, you can call
up right now. Hello. Who's this? Hey, Tiff? What are
you calling from? Charlotte? Okay, North Carolina? What's your question
for you? Good morning? You get money? So, UM, I
have a question in regards to a friendship. UM, I
(03:12):
have a friend. You've been friends for a long time
now at this point I love her to death, but
I just feel like, um, there's just always something going
on with her, and from a friend standpoint, it gets
very tiring of dealing with that, you know, dealing with
her always going through something. And I feel like it
(03:32):
has an impact on our friendship because UM kind of
like a relationship, Our friendship suffers from it because whether
that means us don't in somewhere, she can't because she's
doing something. What if I just need uh friends to
be there, she can't because it's like, oh, welcome, I'm
so sorry. I wish I could be there, but I'm
going through X, Y and Z. It's just always something
(03:54):
and UM, the most recent thing, UM, I moved away.
Don't live next to each other anymore. And she came
in town for one of her friends. UM grandmother passed away,
so she came to be there. She's been in town
for five days and she didn't come to see me,
and she said, well, you know, it's a lot going
on over here. I'm so sorry. That's why I couldn't
(04:16):
make it. And so for me, it's just kind of like, okay,
I had to know. And you know, she said that
you think I'm being a really bit dramatic, but for me,
it's just like, you know, when are you gonna be
a friend to me? And it becomes tiring. So I
just don't really know how to deal with that. Well, Tiffany,
I feel you on that, because sometimes friendships can feel
one Saturday where we feel like we're putting in a
(04:37):
lot more effort and someone is getting a lot more
than their giving right. And friendships are supposed to be reciprocal.
When I need you, you know, you should be there
for me, just like I'm there for you when you
need me. And I will say this sometimes we do
have to and I've had to do this myself, is
let certain friendships just kind of stay in a certain position,
(04:58):
like not have those expectations because it's a shame when
we get let down. So I do have friends that
I noticed that I was always doing stuff for them
and they weren't coming and showing up for me when
I needed them to show up. So what that meant
to me was I'm not gonna exert myself the way
that I have been emotionally physically to do things with you.
If I'm not getting that in return, that doesn't mean
(05:19):
we're not friends. We're still friends, but I just don't
have those expectations that you're going to show up for
me all the time, so that way I don't get
let down. And therefore I don't even ask you to
do certain things because I already know what type of
person you are and you probably aren't gonna show up,
So why should I even put that out there. Now?
That doesn't mean when we see we're still happy when
(05:39):
we see each other. We just don't see each other
as often, and I don't put as much energy into
it as I used to, because the thing is, it's
on you. If you're the person that's still being there
and putting all the energy into it and not getting
it in return, that's on you. Now you already know
what it is. How do you how do you deal
with it? Not feeling hurtful? Or you know you're there
and they don't do that for you in return. Like
(06:00):
I said, you can't force you can't force somebody to
be there for you. And it seems like this might
be just a selfish relation. She's very selfish on her behalf,
and it feels like she thinks what she has going
on to her is more important than being a friend
to you and to me. It's like I wouldn't put
as much energy as you've been putting into that friendship.
That's all. I would just have to realize I'm not
(06:23):
getting that in return. This is who she is, she's
shown me. I've spoken to her about it. She's still
not there for me. She comes with up with excuses.
So now I just have to know what my expectations
are for our friendship. Okay, okay, Because friendships do change
over time, they're not always going to be the same
as they were when we were younger. And I know
we have these obligations when we've known people for so long,
(06:44):
but sometimes we have to let those friendships evolve into
what they are, what they're going to be. You're right,
absolutely right, all right, tiffany where your friends though we care,
we do care, alright, Good luck tifning all ask ye
eight and drink five eight five one oh five one.
If you need advice, relationship advice, or any type of advice,
(07:06):
you can call ye any time. Now. We got rooms
on the way. Yeah, and you know what, maybe you
want some advice from Willow Smith because it looks like
she's very progressive and she's talking about relationships and what
she wants when it comes to romance. All right, we'll
get into that next. Keeping locked this to Breakfast Club.
Good morning,
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