August 25, 2025 • 53 mins
In this powerful episode of Authentic Talks, we sit down with international bestselling author and intuitive guide Coventina Waterhawk. She is an International best-selling author and Intuitive Guide who helps trauma survivors reclaim an empowered life by sharing her nearly four decades of dual-diagnosed recovery and the practical tools she's implemented for success, one day at a time. She has two best-selling books, both based on healing and reclaiming an empowered life: Energy * Frequency * Vibration: The Art of Healing Vol #2, published in Canada and sold out with 40,000 copies, and Dually Diagnosed Dually Blessed: From Struggle to Purpose reached #1 in the Kindle store within the first week after it launched. Coventina's mission is to have mental and physical healthcare combined, because she can't understand why our brain is treated as a separate entity from the rest of our bodies.She shares her raw and honest journey of overcoming profound trauma, navigating a dual diagnosis of mental illness and addiction, and finding a life of purpose. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone who has struggled with trauma, substance abuse, or knows a loved one who has.
Coventina's Social media:
https://www.coventinawaterhawk.com
Host:
Instagram: @AuthenticTalks2.0
Email: AuthenticShanta@gmail.com
Website: www.AuthenticTalks2.com
Facebook: AuthenticTalks2
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/authentic-talks-2-0-with-shanta--4116672/support.
Coventina's Social media:
https://www.coventinawaterhawk.com
Host:
Instagram: @AuthenticTalks2.0
Email: AuthenticShanta@gmail.com
Website: www.AuthenticTalks2.com
Facebook: AuthenticTalks2
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/authentic-talks-2-0-with-shanta--4116672/support.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, hey, hey, and welcome to Authentictoks two point zero,
the show where we dive deep into conversations that matter.
I'm your host, Chante Generally, and today we're tackling a
topic that affects so many lives, trauma, mental health and
the journey to recovery. We're here with the incredible Coventina,
(00:21):
an international best selling author and intuitive guide. Coventino helps
trauma survivors reclaim their power by sharing her almost four
decades of recovery and the practical tools she's used for success.
She's a living testament to the fact.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
That healing is possible, and.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
She's ready to share her story and her wisdom with
all of you. So let's get into it. Wait, before
we dive in, I do want to take a moment
to say welcome, Welcome, Welcome you guys, and if you
have not had an opportunity to subscribe to the show,
hit that subscribe button. That way you won't miss an
episode once I uploat a show. All right, now, let's
(01:02):
go ahead and introduce Cove and Tina Waters. Please welcome
her to Authentic Talks two point zero. Authentic Talks is
all about authentic conversations. This show is all about growth, love, respect, success, mind, body,
and spirit. If you're looking to grow and become your
authentic self, then this is the podcast for you, and
(01:26):
I am your host, Chante. Welcome to the show. Hi Coventina,
Welcome to Authentic Talks. I'm really excited to have you
here today. Before we dive in, I know we were
already talking before the show, and I'm like, I better
hit record before we get started with our show. Can
I have you to introduce yourself to our listeners? Please?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
I am covient Tina Waterhawk and international bestselling author, an
intuitive guide who helps trauma survivors reclaim an empowered life
by sharing my almost for decades of recovery and the
practical tools that I've used for success one day at
a time.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Welcome to the show. When we talk about trauma, we
know that it's not too many people like in this
world that has not gone through a form of trauma,
and everyone thinks that their trauma that they've gone through
is unique and it is to each person, right. But
I love that we're able to talk about these things
now and it's not taboo. When you share your story,
(02:32):
it helps other people to open up, share their story
and begin the healing journey they need to go through
for them to make it through and learn how to
live with those things or release those things. So again,
welcome to the show. And I know that you are
an international best selling author. Congratulations on that.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I would love for you to share with us. We're
just going to dive on in with asking just to
catch our listeners up and bring everyone into the now.
You mentioned that you had gone through trauma in the past.
Is that what prompted you to write your book that
we're going to be talking about today? And can we
talk about the name of the book? How did that
come about?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Dotally diagnosed dely blastem struggle came about with my journey
of having mental illness. During my recovery, I was having
a lot of difficulties and ended up in a lot
of hospitals because of the stigma. I wasn't talking about it.
During my recovery, there were people either committing suicide or
(03:39):
drinking again, and I thought, oh my goodness, I don't
want to be a statistic and I need to go
get help because I was starting to have problems and
the first time that I had. My hospitalization was when
my husband was passing away. He was dying of AIDS
and he wanted to use again because he didn't want
(04:00):
to suffer, and he disappeared, and I ended up with
a nervous breakdown in the hospital for the first time.
When I got out, he passed away four days later.
I truly believe that once we start speaking up and
speaking out, other people will be able to speak up
(04:21):
and speak out. I want to annihilate the stigma regarding
mental illness and addiction. For me, mental health is still
our brain, is still a part of our head, right,
which is a physical part of our body. That we're
(04:42):
treated like we're walking around like the headless horseman, and
that it's separate. I don't carry my head in a
bag with me and say here, treat that differently. Mental
health should be the same as physical health, so that
a person can come to a doctor and get complete
a not oh you have to go to treatment over here,
(05:03):
and then it's not paid for, it's not covered, almost
like it's our fault for being mentally ill.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
That's not the case.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
So I just wanted to free people up to be
you know, the duly blessed comes from Not only can
I help people in recovery, but I can also help
people with the mental health stuff.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
So it's combined.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
And that's why it's just a blessing to be able
to be there for other people and say, hey, I've
been there too, and they know that I've been there
because I can see it in my eyes. You know
that I'm telling them the truth. It's like, oh, been there,
done that. Every client that's ever come to me, I've
already experienced that, and then I can give them tools
(05:44):
on how to heal that and move on and just
heal their life and become a whole person again.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
What were some of the things that you experienced. Would
it be considered a mental health issue that you're sharing
as a result of something inherited through your bloodline, or
is it something that came about in later years.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Because I started my life with I was seven years
old with suicidal ideation, and I started writing poetry back
then on how I felt and what my thoughts were.
I shared one of my poems with my best friend
looking for support, and she turned her back on me
and ran away because the topic was too scared. At
(06:31):
seven eight years old, you don't talk about suicide, especially
at such a young age as kids, and then I
think that is.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Right.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
It's like, oh, I want to end my life. I
don't want to be here anymore. I think I landed
on the wrong planet. Those types of things were going
around in my mind and how I felt, and I
just felt like a complete different alien. I felt like
an alien with all these other kids, and I couldn't
communicate with them very well, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
But then I found music.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
I used to cut school with friends, and then I
started drinking a little bit later. I was drowning those
demons with other things. I was really good in sports
and music, and I believe those were outlets for me
to keep my mind busy, so that those thoughts were
(07:23):
just suppressed. And they were suppressed for quite a while,
except for when I was sixteen.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I would always do it there.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
When I was sixteen, a friend give me this T
shirt and it says kiss me I'm warning, and so
they dared me to put it on. So I put
it on, and there was a guy walking up to
me and he said, I wouldn't kiss you if somebody
paid me a million dollars. I was devastated. I wanted
to crawl underneath a rock because I was so sensitive
(07:56):
to everybody's energies.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
It got to a play where.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
Everybody knew I had answers to problems, and everybody knew
I knew the answers. Nobody, including me, knew how I knew.
I just knew. Looking back, I should have charged them.
They're around money for my services. So I was counseling
people since I was ten.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Wow, definitely born for this right. You came here to
like help people? And do you believe that what is
your belief about us being here? Do you believe that
we chose to come here and be on this planet
as light workers right now for a reason or do
you believe that we're here and we don't have a
choice in that.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
I believe that we have a soul contract when we
come into this life. For me, all of the despair,
pain and humiliations that I've been through is to be
of service to other people. I can't explain it any
other way. Universe put me through all this torture and
(09:01):
trauma over and over again for nothing. It has to
be for something.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Oh, I believe that too. I totally believe that. Now
you dual diagnosis, So you mentioned that that's helping people.
You wrote the book regarding mental health and recovery. Can
we talk about that. What was that journey like of
getting to the place where you knew you needed to
get this out into the world on paper, and what
(09:30):
exactly can a reader expect, Like is it your story,
your personal story, or.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
Yeah, it's my personal story. In along with I think
there's twelve or thirteen other people that share their story.
Like the first story is a gal that experienced severe
postpartum depression and anxiety and she almost did not survive
her daughter's first year of life. Nobody was telling her, hey,
(10:01):
maybe this is wrong. She writes her story to postpartum
depression and anxiety like it's your fault that I did
this and it's all because of you. It really opened
up my eyes to like, yes, these types of things
can take control of our lives to where we're powerless and.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
We don't know how to get out of it.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
And so with a dual diagnose, there's so many different
people that you know, tend to drink to try to
find that balance with their mental health issues.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
And that's what I had to do.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
I got to a place where I was drinking, taking
coding and methamphetamine to find a balance.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
That's how I balanced myself.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
So after I got rid of those chemicals, I started
to get out of balance, and I didn't realize that
I had an imbalance in my brain, that there there
was there was an actual organic issues going on, that
I had this imbalance that caused me to do all
kinds of crazy things. When I was finally diagnosed with
(11:13):
bipolar disorder. Before I got somewhere, I was in a
hospital one time. I was having a nervous breakdown over
the unfathomable abuse by my ex husband and I wanted
to die, so I went to the hospital for help.
I was talking to this lady and she was manic depressive,
(11:35):
talking to me really super fast and happy, and then
all of a sudden, she stopped in the middle of
a sentence and became catatonic and started to cry, and
I related to her, and I tried to tell the
psychiatrist that and he wouldn't believe me. I was untreated
for a long time. Then after my second husband passed
(11:57):
and I ended up in the hospital a few more
times after that. For me, it was the opportunity to
share the message of recovery to people because every single
hospitalization there was always at least one person that had
tried to take their own life at the end of
their alcoholism, and I got to share them that hope,
(12:21):
that recovery is possible. And I believe that that's why
I was there to carry the message of hope to
these people.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Why do you think that mental health is often misunderstood
as well as recovery, because I think they both are
things that can be misunderstood.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Well, it's all about the behavior.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
People judged by our behavior and some of the symptoms.
I get really flirty when I get into the hypomania
and I'm almost at that manic phase and people look
at my behavior and they're like, oh, maybe she's not
balanced right now, you know that kind of thing. So
then they judge me for my behavior. And it's the
(13:09):
same with addiction. People think that addicts have choices that
they choose to use, and that's not the case. It's
an illness, it's a disease. It's just like with mental health.
People just don't understand that. One person said, well, gee,
if I don't feel like getting out of bed, I
just make myself get out of bed anyway. Depression is
(13:31):
you want to get out of bed, but there's a
concrete slab hovering over you and you can barely breathe
and you can't move it, so you can't get it up.
That's the only way that I can describe depression to people.
It's not our fault, it's not our choice. It's not
our fault to go days without taking a shower or.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Whatever that's part of depression.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
Those are like the first signs for me anyway, to say, hey,
I'm a little off balanced today, because judge us by
our actions, not our intentions. It's very frustrating to explain
to people these are the symptoms of my illness, and
these are the behaviors which are the symptoms of my illness.
(14:18):
It's a powerlessness. I didn't decide to have mental illness
or alcoholism and drug addiction, or to give up my
kids to the you know t CPS.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
And it wasn't my I didn't you know what I mean.
I mean, it frustrates me.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Yeah, just when I hear other people when they have
a loved one that ends their life and they say
how selfish it is. It had nothing to do with you,
and why are you taking you know this on as
it had like like they like they did it at
you right now, It's like why he treat them as
(15:00):
though they were battling cancer, you know. And a lot
of times because the stigma, so many people don't talk
about it, and then all of a sudden, I just disappear,
like my friend Lista did.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I did not know.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
The only thing I saw on social media about her
was her family was raising funds.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
For her funeral, like what happened?
Speaker 4 (15:22):
They didn't invite anybody to the funeral because her family
was so ashamed by the fact that she ended her life.
I don't get it.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
What you're saying takes me into my next question for you.
How can families or loved ones better support someone who's
managing both mental health and substance abuse. What could they
have done to help support her? Or what could your
family members have done, or someone who could be tuning
into this episode, who could have a family member going
(15:52):
through that, what can they do to better support them
and show up?
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Yes, my experience was my parents just said, oh, it's
your problem, you go see a psychologist. They didn't want
to learn about it, they didn't want to support there
is now, Thank goodness, these days. So much support out
there for families and friends. There's you know, like for addiction,
(16:20):
there's Narcotics Anonymous, and then there's Alcoholics Anonymous. There's alan On,
which ellen On or narn On for family and friends
who have somebody.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Addicted or in recovery.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
That saved my sanity last year dealing with my oldest
daughter who is in the throes of addiction, and those
parents related to the boundaries I had a set with
my own child, and to not have a relationship with
her because of everything she was doing and how abusive
(16:56):
she was. I felt like a failure as a parent.
But these other parents, they were like, no, no, no, no,
you're perfectly fine. You deserve to have you know, those
boundaries and to love yourself. What she's going to do
is what she's going to do. That really helped. There
are also family groups where family members or friends can
(17:19):
get together with the person who's having problems. The only
thing about that is that a person having problems has
to admit they're having problems and trying to find a solution.
Otherwise that's just not going to work. It's going to
be separated.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
In order to maintain my sanity, especially with my mental health.
I had to put the brakes on stop communicating because
everything that came out of her mouth was a lie.
I cannot have a relationship with a liar. I'm sorry,
I just won't do it.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I had to do that.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
It was very difficult, but I was able to move
through that and get to the other side of acceptance, healing,
and that.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Now it had nothing to do with me.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
She has her issues, and I was taking responsibility because
she grew up in recovery, So why did she have
an issue as well. I really believe that it's, you know,
in the bloodlines. I was adopted when I was a baby,
and I discovered my biological father was a huge alcoholic
and very abusive, and that really made more sense to
(18:30):
me as to why I had problems that this family
that adopted me didn't have alcohol or drug problems at all.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
I was the black sheep in the family.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
I was the elephant in the living room, and I
was trying to speak out and.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
They were just telling me to be quiet.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Oh, you can't say that, Oh you can't share that
with somebody outside of the family. Well, I have to
do that to save.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
My own life.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Oh yeah, And that's how you help other people too.
Once you have gone through or you're going through that
journey of healing, it is important to help other people
along the way as well. That's part of the reason
why you came here. Would you say that what constitute
an alcoholic? Like who determines that? Is that you that
determines it or who defines that?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Yeah, it's a self diagnosed disease. Nobody can tell you
but you.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
It's when you are powerless, when you can't stop no
matter how much you try. It's like, oh, I'm just
gonna have two. That's like the basic, very popular. Oh
I've only had two maybe two bottles, you know cases
(19:47):
that's everybody around them can see that they're having problems,
but they don't want to hear it.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
I posted a video.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
On my Facebook about the book, and some somebody responded
and I thought he was pointing up to the person
who made a comment before him, but it was actually
the middle finger because some gal said why so mean?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
And I was just like, so there are people out.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
There that are still in the disease that don't want
to have anything to do with recovery. You know, they're oh,
it's not I'm not having a problem, or I'm enjoying
my life. You know, why are you putting this in
front of me? I really don't know why he took
that personally. That's the only thing that I can think
of is that he is in the throes of addiction
(20:32):
and he just doesn't want to hear any solution. Yes,
it's a self diagnost I can remember when I first
entered into recovery and people were saying that, and then
along my journey there are so many people that I
really disagree with, like judges and that they were sending
them to recovery places. People that get their first drength.
(20:55):
They might just be somebody that made a mistake. Allows
each look of getting behind the wheel got an.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
ACTI I was married to someone who could have like
two beers and it just didn't work out. His body
chemistry was just not if he could get what appeared
to be intoxicated very easily. Actually the truth is that
he had six beers total, just regular beers, but it
got him intoxicated. He was behind the wheel and crashed
(21:25):
a car and you know, so, yeah, I think being
able to identify your levels of what you can tolerate
and then what is.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
I guess it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Someone who's not in that in those shoes cannot speak
to that. To be honest with you.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
People who are not alcoholics don't think about drinking, you
know what I mean. I might be a special occasion
or New Year's and oh I'm going to have a drink,
But they don't. Like with alcoholics, they're obsessed with Okay,
how am I going to get my next drink? You know,
it's that obsession of trying to drink again.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
I can remember when I was younger. Because I was
younger and.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
I was underaged, I had to seek out older people
to buy thoose for me. They were my enablers. They
didn't say no, you're crazy, you're too young, I'm not
going to do this right. I was able to manipulate
people into doing the things I wanted them to do
for me. They were my enibblers. That's how I was
able to get away with you know, I drank as
(22:32):
much as I could because I needed to drown those
demons in my head. And I didn't realize that I
had passed that line of alcoholisms. I was trying to
manage my mental health and then I ended up realizing, oh,
I'm really addicted to this stuff. And I reached the
(22:55):
bottom where I had these two little babies and ended
up being abusive. When I was under the influence, I
was the best, most patient mom. However, when I started
to sober up, I would be really abusive. One day,
I just I came, you know, I came to this
(23:16):
realization is I'm going to kill my babies if I
don't stop this. So I called out protective services on
myself and I said, come get my girls.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
I don't want to hurt him anymore. I don't know
how not to.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
And so the police officers that showed up. One of
them was on the force for eighteen years and he
said not once had they ever had a parent call
for help, and that I was doing the right thing,
and that stuck with me. It allowed me, and then
I entered recovery the next day. You never know who
(23:48):
you're going to help. Early on in my recovery, I
shared about giving.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
The girls up.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
I would have women come up afterwards and thank me
because they were at that same place or their kids
were taken away from them. I just said, you know what,
I need to focus on my recovery. That was a
blessing because if I had kids to concentrate on, I
wouldn't be able to concentrate on getting better. And I
(24:16):
truly believe that otherwise it would have been different. Right,
That's what I did with radical acceptance. You know, when
people are having a hard time accepting certain things and
I'm like, well, why did that happen? Well, it obviously
was supposed to. Just like when I'm driving and somebody
cuts me off and I'm like, did they really have
(24:38):
to do that?
Speaker 3 (24:38):
And then I'm like, apparently.
Speaker 4 (24:40):
Otherwise they wouldn't have and then I keep on driving.
And so all of these different tools and things that
I have, you know, acquired over the years that I
want to share with other people. And that's why with
my clients, I have a wellness plan like a postcard,
and we have checklist of things they can do so
(25:02):
they can continue on their journey to living their dreams.
Because we all have to have tools that live by
and we all need to support. We can't do this alone,
you know.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
That's truly.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
I'm glad that you recognize that this is your thing
that you should be doing, you know, and that you're
doing it. I have to go back and ask you
a question. When you were going through your recovery, were
you able to see the kids and were they gone
until they turn eighteen and then return back to you.
How did that work out?
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Their dad obtained custody. They weren't in separate foster homes.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
In the beginning.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
We were going to court and they went and allowed
me custody because I'm alcoholic. I'm like, but I'm sober nap.
On Christmas Eve, they went to live with him. He
raised them. I had visitation, but he kept moving farther
and farther away, so that it was harder and harder
for me to visit them every weekend, so it was
(26:05):
like every other week, and then it got down to
once a month, and then it was once every.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Couple of months.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
That I promised myself I would never say one bad
word about their dad to them ever, because that's not fair.
He kept lying to them about me, so they were
growing up with this concept that I was a liar,
but I never lied. I always told the truth. I
figured that when they get old enough, they're going to
(26:32):
discover who their dad really is. And I'm so grateful
I was able to do that because when they were
older I can remember my oldest she calls me a
you know what, dad is a you know whatever, and
I'm like, instead of saying, well, it's about time you
figured that out, I did not say that right. I
was tempted, but I didn't. I just asked her, well,
(26:53):
what makes you say that, you know? And so she
described it. I'm like, well, yeah, I saw. I didn't
one hundred percent agree with her. I just said, yeah,
I guess that would be you know whatever. And so
I was able to just tell them the truth, and
over time they got to see that I was being
honest and that I never said anything about their dad.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
I'm so grateful for that now I have.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
Even though my older daughter is doing her own thing,
my younger daughter and I have an awesome relationship. I
can remember one time with my younger one in the
very beginning, and I would try to call to see
how they were doing, and my youngest one would never
say anything. And then I just gave up talking to
her because there was no response, and I just said, Okay,
(27:41):
well I'm going to go.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I love you.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
She's like, okay, bye. She was just so angry. I
can remember one time we were talking on the phone,
and I said, Okay, I really have to go now,
my phone's going to die. And she said, fine, cut
me off, why don't you? And we had been on
the phone an hour and I just started to cry
because that's and I knew that it shifted, you know,
that she made that shift that you know that I
(28:05):
loved her, She really did love me. That forgiveness was there,
and hey, so it took fifteen years, but it happened, right,
And it's just that perseverance. I was just persevering and
being laser focused on being honest with them, not talking
about their dad, and just being who I am and
(28:28):
having them come to me no matter how long it took,
so that I have that experience to share with other
people as well.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Yeah, so did writing this book for like therapy for
you or was it more of a calling?
Speaker 3 (28:46):
It was more of a calling.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
I just really wanted to raise awareness because of the stickwab.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
I'm still tired of the stickweb.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
When I you know, yell at the you know at
the mountaintops.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
You know, my head is not separate.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
And well, my first book that I wrote that it's
being republished because I lost my Amazon account, So I
lost all my books that were on there.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
I'm revising the book.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
It's a book of poetry and it's about my experience
with the abuse, you know, by my ex husband. I
really wanted to release that to help other people in
those situations are just trying to get out. My vision
is to have that book and all the shelters for
(29:34):
the women that are in the shelters, because I was
in the shelter too, and from the coffee table, to
have a book the Freed Soul from domestic Violence to Freedom.
What's that all about? You know? And then so there's
three chapters Hopelessness, Hope, and healing, and it's just my
journey of how I heal.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
It may have taken me a few decades to get.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
To the other side of that, but that was my journey,
and I get to write about the journey. And people
think that a healer will zap you well, and.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
It doesn't work like that.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Yeah, you know, it's like I give you the tools
so that you can heal your own life from side,
so you get it from within, you know, because you
all have that power.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Healers.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Yes, we do have to. How do your girls feel
about the fact that you're an author, we don't.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Really talk about it that much.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
The first book of poetry, I actually released it with
a different name to protect them because the majority of
the book is about their dad and what he did
to me. They don't know because I never told them.
I just wanted to protect them from that truth because
he raised them and they worshiped him. I attended a
(30:56):
hay House writer's boot camp a couple of years ago
and one of the authors said two things that I
had an Aha moment. She said, you write from the
scar and not the wound, and then you write the
manuscript first, and then you come up with the title
because it can change. And that aha moment was this
(31:20):
book that I re released with this new title. The
title was Life on the Border Coping with Mental and
Emotional Illness. I thought, okay, well, that's really vague. The
majority of the people that have written in their stories
in this book also have mental illness and addiction. Except
(31:42):
for three stories. There's one gal that has PTSD from
an inner ear thing that it's like really loud noises
and it comes and goes, so she's hyper vigilant and
she has created comic strips to deal with her PTSD
I'm like, wow, I would have never thought of that.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Is that in this new book that's in the current
book that we're talking about today.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Her story is in there.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
Oh okay, there's another story of somebody with PTSD that
has a service dog, and then there's a gal that
had bipolar disorder, bolimia and alcoholism. So there's an array
of different like with my PTSD. I was finally able
to go through the EMDR that and it's the I
(32:33):
movement desensitization sometimes I get and reprocessing. I had to
go through every single trauma, and what we realized was
my therapist was.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
Like, hold on a minute.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
You were traumatized from the moment you were born because
you were given up for adoption. So I didn't have
that connection with my mother. And I was molested at five,
and then my best friends left me. So I just
had one trauma after another and raped when I was sixteen.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
There was so much happening in.
Speaker 4 (33:09):
My life before I even met my husband, and then
during and after that relationship. I actually don't call it
live a relationship. I was a prisoner.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Basically.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
He had me cut all ties to my friends and family,
and I was really isolated.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Those traumas that keep you.
Speaker 4 (33:31):
It's like when a trigger happens and you're unaware of
the trigger. I would get fired a bunch of times
because my ex husband was so much older than me.
If a supervisor said something to me that was really
degrading or founded like him, I would react and then
get fired. I did not realize that until years later
(33:54):
when I started to get help with the PTSD and
the therapies that I was in.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Well about awareness, Yeah, yeah, and now you're Reiki. Would
you say it's like your king Master.
Speaker 4 (34:07):
Yes, I am now a Raking Master Teacher. I was
first certified in March of two thousand and six. I
was a practitioner for a lot of years until two
years ago I decided to finally get my master teacher
certifications so that I could start teaching people that they
can heal themselves and teach them king.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
I've had a few.
Speaker 4 (34:27):
Clients and that's been really awesome, and then I've been
what else.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
Have I been doing lately?
Speaker 4 (34:35):
I've been doing book signings, so I've like, I've been
doing book signings to raise awareness and funds for nonprofit
organizations with mental health. I've been speaking at different recovery events.
My favorite one. I was asked to be the keynote
speaker on the Saturday night bonfire meeting at a camp
(34:57):
out with over three hundred people. Nice Coventina is going
to be the keynote speaker. Yay, other reason made speak.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
I'm just grateful. I'm really grateful.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
That's good stuff. I love it. So what do you
think is next for you?
Speaker 4 (35:16):
Right now?
Speaker 1 (35:16):
You're doing book signings and you're teaching others that they
can heal themselves, and we're here talking about this book.
I definitely recommend this book. It's available on Amazon. It's
also available in an e book as well. And so, Coventina,
what is next for you? Where do you see yourself
going from here?
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Well, I'm in the middle of my next book.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
That's what I was thinking. Another book or more speaking engagements,
But there you go, another book right on.
Speaker 4 (35:49):
Well, I'm writing a book on boss and right now
the title is navigating through Lass without Losing Yourself. The
other thing that I'm doing is creating an oracle deck
just for people who are dual diagnosed. There's going to
be a positive word and then on the other side,
(36:11):
a challenging word.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
I'm just in the beginning.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
I have several friends who are creating decks as well.
Most of them are about angels or FAIRI I'm writing
the book and creating the deck and then doing book
signings whenever the opportunity arises.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
So yeah, I love that. That's good stuff. Oh, we've
got to talk about the fairies. What is your belief
about fairies? I now, we had a brief conversation today
before we started our show. There are some people that
actually don't believe that there's a such thing as fairies.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
What are your thoughts on I identify with the Mr Fairy,
which is a half mermaide half fairy. People might think
I'm crazy now and turn this off, but because I
like when I was little, I used to eat dirt,
and so the fairies are all about the earth. And
if you see mushroom patches, those are their homes. That's
(37:05):
where they reside. And they're pranksters, but they really help
me ground and honor Mother Earth. They really do. And
it's just like tinker Belt. You know, a lot of
people are, oh, that's a fantasy, that's a cartoon or whatever,
(37:27):
And why would these things be created if they didn't exist.
That's all I'm saying. Why would they make a movie
with a fairy if it didn't exist? How did they
come up with what it looked like, what the attributes are.
It's like, how do they know? How did they just
make this up? If you get into nature and gardening
(37:51):
and things like that, they'll come to you if you're open.
If you're just open minded just a little bit, you'll
be able to see more. And the more you see,
the more you're open to that, and then it just
becomes second nature, you know. Oh yeah, well that's probably
the fairies, you know, play a trick on you. Oh
I put my keys here. I could have sworn I
(38:11):
put my keys here, and you know, people don't believe it.
But it's like, no, there's somewhere I don't know where
they are. And later on they show up in the
spot where I was looking. And it's just like my
very first reiki client, right after I had my certification,
her paternal grandfather showed.
Speaker 3 (38:29):
Up for a message.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
I'm doing the reki on her, and there's this old
man with a top hat a long coat approaching me
and I just heard the words, just go with it, okay,
because I've gotten to that point in my life where
I listen right, And so he's like, I have a
message for her, and I'm her paternal grandfather, and I
(38:52):
told her I don't freak out, and he said, please
don't miss me. I'm still here, loving you and protecting
were going down her face. She confirmed that was her
paternal grandpa. About Vince, he was also really funny and jovial.
It was like you could sit on his lap and
(39:12):
have him tell you jokes all day. He had that
kind of personality. Her parents were teenagers when her mom
got pregnant. Her grandma on her mom's side wanted her
mom to give the baby up for adoption, and Grandpa
Vince stepped in and.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Said, absolutely not.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
We're gonna keep this baby in the family and help
raise it. He was loving her and protecting her from
before she was born. So I just can't make this
stuff up. And so I tried to tell people my experiences,
and people still don't believe me. I don't know what
else to tell you, but that's what happened. I wasn't
(39:51):
looking for it. Just you know, I'm like, oh, I
guess I have that gift too.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
Well. I love it. I love that you're tapped in
and grounded and like that you are using your gifts
and that's why we came here so that we could
help other people, so that we can use those gifts.
And what message do you want the readers to hold
on to after reading your book.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
Well, that there's hope of recovery, that you can speak out,
it is safe to speak out, and that there are
support groups out there that you can belong to and
get that well support where you don't feel like you're alone,
(40:37):
you don't feel like you're crazy, you don't feel like
you're different. You know that you're just a person that
has another illness and that there's help that you can
get better and you can have a successful life, you
can live your dreams. And then with the family members
and friends, there's all kinds of support surrounding them if
(40:58):
they so choose, you know, because a lot of times
they don't understand or they don't know that they're enabling
their loved one who's struggling, and that's why they're still struggling.
They have to reach a bottom, they have to burn
all those bridges before they have that aha moment when
there's nothing else left but to turn the corner and
(41:22):
try to recover.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
What would you say being duly blessed means today to you,
not just as an author, but just like as a person.
Speaker 4 (41:32):
Well, that I'm able to help people with mental illness
and people that have addiction issues. I've been placed on
this planet. I believe to help as many people as possible. Yeah,
And I always had a mantra heal the earth one
person at a time. It's like, if it just helps
one person, it's done its job. I had a gal
(41:55):
I give her a copy and we hadn't seen each
other for a long time, and she just has to
be in my area.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
It's like, this is how the universe works.
Speaker 4 (42:04):
She had just visited another friend in Texas and I
handed her the book. She texted me the next morning
and said, I'm halfway through. Can I purchase at least
five copies? I might, Well, of course, you can purchase
as many as you want. I give her my website
information where she could purchase the book directly from me,
(42:24):
and she ordered seven copies to give to people that
she knew would benefit from the book.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
So that's what I want, you know.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
I want this book to get into the hands of
every single person that needs it most, and it's starting
to happen, and I'm like heay for it to land
in the number one spot within the first week in
Kindle in number one and personality disorders, number two in
(42:52):
drug Dependency and Recovery, and number seven in family health.
And then the paperback reached number twenty five. Amazon really slissed,
which is phenomenal. That didn't happen the last time I
published my books on Amazon.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Oh, I love that.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
I absolutely love that. Gratitude is a powerful theme in
your book. How did developing an attitude of gratitude change
the recovery journey for those featured?
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Well, for me, I could have died several times, not
only in my addiction but in my mental health experiences.
To be able to breathe is a miracle. What spiritual
teacher it says, you are a walking, talking, living, breathing miracle.
(43:42):
He knows my story and that I could have died
so many different times and I'm still here and it
yeah waking up. So in the beginning, on the first
of the year, I've been writing on little mini colorful
sticky notes, a positive affirmation, words of encouragement, or a
(44:04):
little thing to do like stop what you're doing and
dance for five minutes. So whenever you have one of
those moments, I love that shake the jar.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
Yeah, yeah, I have it somewhere from the other side.
Speaker 4 (44:18):
And so you just shake it up and whatever comes out,
that's your message, you know, that's your little pick me up.
And in February, I had a nightmare that I was
getting ready to end my life and I woke up
and I was crying and I was journaling, and all
of a sudden, I was like, yeah, have to pick
me up jar, silly, Okay, you know sometimes I don't
even listen to my own stuff, right, So I shook
(44:39):
it up and I'm part of that you just can't
make this stuff up group. I pulled it out and
it says your life is valuable. So I put it
back in the jar because I might need that later on.
But it's like, yes, my life is valuable. And because
I've been through so many of those dark nights of
the soul and moments that I can relate to when
(44:59):
somebody is at the end and on that edge, you
know that they can turn around. And when my mom
passed and I had those dark moments for months, I
was in the darkness, and my mantra was turn to
the light, no matter how dim. Turn to the light,
no matter how dim. That's the biggest message I have
(45:21):
for people. Turn into no matter how dim. I don't
care if it's just half an inch, a quarter inch, turn,
but just back to the light really makes the difference.
Every morning I write a gratitude list. The first thing
is my sobriety. I'm stable and I have all these
(45:44):
other things to be grateful for. I want other people
to try this, to get into the practice of writing
what they're grateful for, right down, everything you're grateful for
for each letter of the alphabet. Trust me, you'll be
able to find things. Try that and see what happens.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Wow, I love that you shared so much.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
It was just powerfully packed with good stuff.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
You know.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
I have this thing that I do. It's like mind treats,
where it's positive quotes. I call them treats for the
mind and not for the belly because I put little
candies on the outside of it. They're like little mini candies,
like little m and ms and like lollipops and things
like that. And I do this event where I go
(46:34):
to different places that I'm invited. It's just a variety
of places around Arizona, and I actually sell them for
people to put in their office, on their desk or
to have at home. I took some out of a
book that I have and put those on colorful paper,
and like, I put it in there and it looks
like a gift because it's got the ShredIt paper and
all that in it, and the way I package it,
(46:57):
it looks super cool. It reminds me of you're that
you shake up. I call them mind treats, you know,
because they're to help our minds flourish and gratitude. Gratitude
is my go to whenever I'm feeling down or if
anything hits our family where we're going through struggles, we
definitely lean on gratitude. I have a journal lot about
(47:17):
that one. I absolutely love all the things that you
share today. I'm happy for you and proud of you.
You can make it through and this can be done,
but you have to really want it and you have
to take the steps that you need to in order
to make it happen. When I hear you share your story,
so many people are going through something similar, and so
(47:40):
I'm glad that you're feeling open and comfortable enough to
share your story, and I love like your journey of
like now you're a teacher, you know what I mean,
doing what you came here to do, right.
Speaker 4 (47:53):
And when we talk about gratitude, unconditional love is the
highest vibration, gratitude is the second. So when we try
to reach those vibrations, I'm willing to help somebody out
of a lower vibration if they want to move up,
but I'm not going to waste my time on people
that are interested. I'm going to focus my attention on
(48:13):
people who are and they don't know the way, but
they're open to finding the ways to raise their vibration
as well. Because when we're in unconditional love and gratitude,
nothing can stop me.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
The unstoppable cold Tina. I love everything that you're doing,
and you're right. Spending time on someone who isn't ready
to take that walk is a waste of time. It
brings your vibration down, and you're a light worker, so
you've got to be able to keep your vibration high.
(48:47):
But what's really great is when that person is ready,
they'll know where.
Speaker 3 (48:52):
To turn to.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
They know that you're there with open arms ready to
welcome them and walk along with them in that journy.
Speaker 4 (49:00):
Yeah, yeah, that's definitely yeah. I guess we can't do
it alone. We all need somebody.
Speaker 1 (49:07):
If someone wanted to purchase the book, where can they
find it?
Speaker 4 (49:11):
Well, if they want to discanted signed copy, they can
go on my website covent tinawaterhock dot com and I'd
be more than happy to sign a copy and send
it to them. And it's also on Amazon, and it's
basically all over the world. It's Amazon in different countries.
There's other websites that have it. They have on Barnes
(49:32):
and Noble, they have Google book Books, so it's everywhere basically. However,
if you want to discount sign copy, then definitely contact
me on my website.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Website, and that information is in the show notes where
you guys can contact Coventina if there's anyone out there
who wants to work with her and have her as
your coach. She's amazing and does a variety of things,
not just an author, but she said she's a teacher.
All that information is in the show notes for you
(50:04):
to click on and reach out to her. I'm sending
you virtual hugs and thank you so much. I appreciate
you coming on the show and hanging out with me.
This is Authentic Talks. We found each other because it
was divine. We are going to come back together for
another show once we're able to put that together. The
book you're currently working on or about to start working on,
(50:27):
is in that same arena. We might wait for that book,
you know, and like bring the people on and talk
about it. Then I'm not sure because I'm trying to
work it out where we're talking about a particular book,
but the topic is about loss. We'll see where I'm guided,
you know, because I'm so open. I'm like, Universe, just
(50:47):
guide me, lead me. As long as I stay open,
I know that it's going to fall in the manner
in which it should. I really appreciate you for being
so open and candid and sharing your story because that's
what we are, Authentic Talks, and it's all about helping people.
Before we end our show, is there anything that you
(51:08):
want to leave our listeners with or is there anything
we did not cover that you want to talk about.
Speaker 3 (51:16):
Sometimes it's one breath at a time.
Speaker 4 (51:18):
The book that I'm writing on loss, maybe loss of jobs,
losing your house, losing, losing relationships, things like that. They
don't necessarily always mean somebody has passed away, even though
the majority of it is. But there's other people that
are also writing their stories on loss that are adding
(51:39):
to the book as well. I just want everybody to
know that sometimes it has to get down to one
breath at a time, because one day at a time
might just be too overwhelming. Everybody can get through when
breath at a time, I believe.
Speaker 3 (51:55):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Thank you so much for hanging out with me, and
we'll be talking soon.
Speaker 3 (52:01):
Thank you, thank you much.
Speaker 1 (52:02):
Wow you guys, what a powerful conversation.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
Thank you so much Covin Tina for.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Generously sharing your journey and for giving us a glimpse
into your new book, Dual Diagnose Duly bless from Struggle
to Purpose. Your story is a reminder for all of
us that healing is a process, it's not a destination,
and that our greatest challenges can become our greatest blessings.
(52:28):
You've shown us that by sharing our stories, we can
break the stigma surrounding mental illness and addiction and create
a space for others to begin their own healing journey.
For our listeners, if anything you heard today resignated with you,
remember that you're not alone. And I know I say
that recently, I've been sharing that you're not alone on
(52:51):
many of our episodes because it's absolutely truth. There's so
much support out there, and as covent Tina said, your
head is not separate from your body. Mental health is
just as important as physical health.
Speaker 2 (53:06):
And if you want to connect with Covincina and learn
more about her work, you can find the information in
the show notes and connect with her. And until next time,
stay authentic, take care of yourselves and each other. Thank
you so much for tuning in. I'm chante with Authentic
Talks
Hey, hey, hey, and welcome to Authentictoks two point zero,
the show where we dive deep into conversations that matter.
I'm your host, Chante Generally, and today we're tackling a
topic that affects so many lives, trauma, mental health and
the journey to recovery. We're here with the incredible Coventina,
(00:21):
an international best selling author and intuitive guide. Coventino helps
trauma survivors reclaim their power by sharing her almost four
decades of recovery and the practical tools she's used for success.
She's a living testament to the fact.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
That healing is possible, and.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
She's ready to share her story and her wisdom with
all of you. So let's get into it. Wait, before
we dive in, I do want to take a moment
to say welcome, Welcome, Welcome you guys, and if you
have not had an opportunity to subscribe to the show,
hit that subscribe button. That way you won't miss an
episode once I uploat a show. All right, now, let's
(01:02):
go ahead and introduce Cove and Tina Waters. Please welcome
her to Authentic Talks two point zero. Authentic Talks is
all about authentic conversations. This show is all about growth, love, respect, success, mind, body,
and spirit. If you're looking to grow and become your
authentic self, then this is the podcast for you, and
(01:26):
I am your host, Chante. Welcome to the show. Hi Coventina,
Welcome to Authentic Talks. I'm really excited to have you
here today. Before we dive in, I know we were
already talking before the show, and I'm like, I better
hit record before we get started with our show. Can
I have you to introduce yourself to our listeners? Please?
Speaker 3 (01:50):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (01:50):
I am covient Tina Waterhawk and international bestselling author, an
intuitive guide who helps trauma survivors reclaim an empowered life
by sharing my almost for decades of recovery and the
practical tools that I've used for success one day at
a time.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Welcome to the show. When we talk about trauma, we
know that it's not too many people like in this
world that has not gone through a form of trauma,
and everyone thinks that their trauma that they've gone through
is unique and it is to each person, right. But
I love that we're able to talk about these things
now and it's not taboo. When you share your story,
(02:32):
it helps other people to open up, share their story
and begin the healing journey they need to go through
for them to make it through and learn how to
live with those things or release those things. So again,
welcome to the show. And I know that you are
an international best selling author. Congratulations on that.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
I would love for you to share with us. We're
just going to dive on in with asking just to
catch our listeners up and bring everyone into the now.
You mentioned that you had gone through trauma in the past.
Is that what prompted you to write your book that
we're going to be talking about today? And can we
talk about the name of the book? How did that
come about?
Speaker 4 (03:16):
Dotally diagnosed dely blastem struggle came about with my journey
of having mental illness. During my recovery, I was having
a lot of difficulties and ended up in a lot
of hospitals because of the stigma. I wasn't talking about it.
During my recovery, there were people either committing suicide or
(03:39):
drinking again, and I thought, oh my goodness, I don't
want to be a statistic and I need to go
get help because I was starting to have problems and
the first time that I had. My hospitalization was when
my husband was passing away. He was dying of AIDS
and he wanted to use again because he didn't want
(04:00):
to suffer, and he disappeared, and I ended up with
a nervous breakdown in the hospital for the first time.
When I got out, he passed away four days later.
I truly believe that once we start speaking up and
speaking out, other people will be able to speak up
(04:21):
and speak out. I want to annihilate the stigma regarding
mental illness and addiction. For me, mental health is still
our brain, is still a part of our head, right,
which is a physical part of our body. That we're
(04:42):
treated like we're walking around like the headless horseman, and
that it's separate. I don't carry my head in a
bag with me and say here, treat that differently. Mental
health should be the same as physical health, so that
a person can come to a doctor and get complete
a not oh you have to go to treatment over here,
(05:03):
and then it's not paid for, it's not covered, almost
like it's our fault for being mentally ill.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
That's not the case.
Speaker 4 (05:10):
So I just wanted to free people up to be
you know, the duly blessed comes from Not only can
I help people in recovery, but I can also help
people with the mental health stuff.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
So it's combined.
Speaker 4 (05:22):
And that's why it's just a blessing to be able
to be there for other people and say, hey, I've
been there too, and they know that I've been there
because I can see it in my eyes. You know
that I'm telling them the truth. It's like, oh, been there,
done that. Every client that's ever come to me, I've
already experienced that, and then I can give them tools
(05:44):
on how to heal that and move on and just
heal their life and become a whole person again.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
What were some of the things that you experienced. Would
it be considered a mental health issue that you're sharing
as a result of something inherited through your bloodline, or
is it something that came about in later years.
Speaker 4 (06:08):
Because I started my life with I was seven years
old with suicidal ideation, and I started writing poetry back
then on how I felt and what my thoughts were.
I shared one of my poems with my best friend
looking for support, and she turned her back on me
and ran away because the topic was too scared. At
(06:31):
seven eight years old, you don't talk about suicide, especially
at such a young age as kids, and then I
think that is.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Right.
Speaker 4 (06:42):
It's like, oh, I want to end my life. I
don't want to be here anymore. I think I landed
on the wrong planet. Those types of things were going
around in my mind and how I felt, and I
just felt like a complete different alien. I felt like
an alien with all these other kids, and I couldn't
communicate with them very well, you know.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
But then I found music.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
I used to cut school with friends, and then I
started drinking a little bit later. I was drowning those
demons with other things. I was really good in sports
and music, and I believe those were outlets for me
to keep my mind busy, so that those thoughts were
(07:23):
just suppressed. And they were suppressed for quite a while,
except for when I was sixteen.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
I would always do it there.
Speaker 4 (07:35):
When I was sixteen, a friend give me this T
shirt and it says kiss me I'm warning, and so
they dared me to put it on. So I put
it on, and there was a guy walking up to
me and he said, I wouldn't kiss you if somebody
paid me a million dollars. I was devastated. I wanted
to crawl underneath a rock because I was so sensitive
(07:56):
to everybody's energies.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
It got to a play where.
Speaker 4 (08:00):
Everybody knew I had answers to problems, and everybody knew
I knew the answers. Nobody, including me, knew how I knew.
I just knew. Looking back, I should have charged them.
They're around money for my services. So I was counseling
people since I was ten.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Wow, definitely born for this right. You came here to
like help people? And do you believe that what is
your belief about us being here? Do you believe that
we chose to come here and be on this planet
as light workers right now for a reason or do
you believe that we're here and we don't have a
choice in that.
Speaker 4 (08:40):
I believe that we have a soul contract when we
come into this life. For me, all of the despair,
pain and humiliations that I've been through is to be
of service to other people. I can't explain it any
other way. Universe put me through all this torture and
(09:01):
trauma over and over again for nothing. It has to
be for something.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Oh, I believe that too. I totally believe that. Now
you dual diagnosis, So you mentioned that that's helping people.
You wrote the book regarding mental health and recovery. Can
we talk about that. What was that journey like of
getting to the place where you knew you needed to
get this out into the world on paper, and what
(09:30):
exactly can a reader expect, Like is it your story,
your personal story, or.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
Yeah, it's my personal story. In along with I think
there's twelve or thirteen other people that share their story.
Like the first story is a gal that experienced severe
postpartum depression and anxiety and she almost did not survive
her daughter's first year of life. Nobody was telling her, hey,
(10:01):
maybe this is wrong. She writes her story to postpartum
depression and anxiety like it's your fault that I did
this and it's all because of you. It really opened
up my eyes to like, yes, these types of things
can take control of our lives to where we're powerless and.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
We don't know how to get out of it.
Speaker 4 (10:25):
And so with a dual diagnose, there's so many different
people that you know, tend to drink to try to
find that balance with their mental health issues.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
And that's what I had to do.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
I got to a place where I was drinking, taking
coding and methamphetamine to find a balance.
Speaker 3 (10:48):
That's how I balanced myself.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
So after I got rid of those chemicals, I started
to get out of balance, and I didn't realize that
I had an imbalance in my brain, that there there
was there was an actual organic issues going on, that
I had this imbalance that caused me to do all
kinds of crazy things. When I was finally diagnosed with
(11:13):
bipolar disorder. Before I got somewhere, I was in a
hospital one time. I was having a nervous breakdown over
the unfathomable abuse by my ex husband and I wanted
to die, so I went to the hospital for help.
I was talking to this lady and she was manic depressive,
(11:35):
talking to me really super fast and happy, and then
all of a sudden, she stopped in the middle of
a sentence and became catatonic and started to cry, and
I related to her, and I tried to tell the
psychiatrist that and he wouldn't believe me. I was untreated
for a long time. Then after my second husband passed
(11:57):
and I ended up in the hospital a few more
times after that. For me, it was the opportunity to
share the message of recovery to people because every single
hospitalization there was always at least one person that had
tried to take their own life at the end of
their alcoholism, and I got to share them that hope,
(12:21):
that recovery is possible. And I believe that that's why
I was there to carry the message of hope to
these people.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
Why do you think that mental health is often misunderstood
as well as recovery, because I think they both are
things that can be misunderstood.
Speaker 3 (12:44):
Well, it's all about the behavior.
Speaker 4 (12:46):
People judged by our behavior and some of the symptoms.
I get really flirty when I get into the hypomania
and I'm almost at that manic phase and people look
at my behavior and they're like, oh, maybe she's not
balanced right now, you know that kind of thing. So
then they judge me for my behavior. And it's the
(13:09):
same with addiction. People think that addicts have choices that
they choose to use, and that's not the case. It's
an illness, it's a disease. It's just like with mental health.
People just don't understand that. One person said, well, gee,
if I don't feel like getting out of bed, I
just make myself get out of bed anyway. Depression is
(13:31):
you want to get out of bed, but there's a
concrete slab hovering over you and you can barely breathe
and you can't move it, so you can't get it up.
That's the only way that I can describe depression to people.
It's not our fault, it's not our choice. It's not
our fault to go days without taking a shower or.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Whatever that's part of depression.
Speaker 4 (13:52):
Those are like the first signs for me anyway, to say, hey,
I'm a little off balanced today, because judge us by
our actions, not our intentions. It's very frustrating to explain
to people these are the symptoms of my illness, and
these are the behaviors which are the symptoms of my illness.
(14:18):
It's a powerlessness. I didn't decide to have mental illness
or alcoholism and drug addiction, or to give up my
kids to the you know t CPS.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
And it wasn't my I didn't you know what I mean.
I mean, it frustrates me.
Speaker 4 (14:35):
Yeah, just when I hear other people when they have
a loved one that ends their life and they say
how selfish it is. It had nothing to do with you,
and why are you taking you know this on as
it had like like they like they did it at
you right now, It's like why he treat them as
(15:00):
though they were battling cancer, you know. And a lot
of times because the stigma, so many people don't talk
about it, and then all of a sudden, I just disappear,
like my friend Lista did.
Speaker 3 (15:11):
I did not know.
Speaker 4 (15:12):
The only thing I saw on social media about her
was her family was raising funds.
Speaker 3 (15:19):
For her funeral, like what happened?
Speaker 4 (15:22):
They didn't invite anybody to the funeral because her family
was so ashamed by the fact that she ended her life.
I don't get it.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
What you're saying takes me into my next question for you.
How can families or loved ones better support someone who's
managing both mental health and substance abuse. What could they
have done to help support her? Or what could your
family members have done, or someone who could be tuning
into this episode, who could have a family member going
(15:52):
through that, what can they do to better support them
and show up?
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Yes, my experience was my parents just said, oh, it's
your problem, you go see a psychologist. They didn't want
to learn about it, they didn't want to support there
is now, Thank goodness, these days. So much support out
there for families and friends. There's you know, like for addiction,
(16:20):
there's Narcotics Anonymous, and then there's Alcoholics Anonymous. There's alan On,
which ellen On or narn On for family and friends
who have somebody.
Speaker 3 (16:30):
Addicted or in recovery.
Speaker 4 (16:33):
That saved my sanity last year dealing with my oldest
daughter who is in the throes of addiction, and those
parents related to the boundaries I had a set with
my own child, and to not have a relationship with
her because of everything she was doing and how abusive
(16:56):
she was. I felt like a failure as a parent.
But these other parents, they were like, no, no, no, no,
you're perfectly fine. You deserve to have you know, those
boundaries and to love yourself. What she's going to do
is what she's going to do. That really helped. There
are also family groups where family members or friends can
(17:19):
get together with the person who's having problems. The only
thing about that is that a person having problems has
to admit they're having problems and trying to find a solution.
Otherwise that's just not going to work. It's going to
be separated.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:33):
In order to maintain my sanity, especially with my mental health.
I had to put the brakes on stop communicating because
everything that came out of her mouth was a lie.
I cannot have a relationship with a liar. I'm sorry,
I just won't do it.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
I had to do that.
Speaker 4 (17:52):
It was very difficult, but I was able to move
through that and get to the other side of acceptance, healing,
and that.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Now it had nothing to do with me.
Speaker 4 (18:05):
She has her issues, and I was taking responsibility because
she grew up in recovery, So why did she have
an issue as well. I really believe that it's, you know,
in the bloodlines. I was adopted when I was a baby,
and I discovered my biological father was a huge alcoholic
and very abusive, and that really made more sense to
(18:30):
me as to why I had problems that this family
that adopted me didn't have alcohol or drug problems at all.
Speaker 3 (18:40):
I was the black sheep in the family.
Speaker 4 (18:43):
I was the elephant in the living room, and I
was trying to speak out and.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
They were just telling me to be quiet.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Oh, you can't say that, Oh you can't share that
with somebody outside of the family. Well, I have to
do that to save.
Speaker 3 (18:57):
My own life.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Oh yeah, And that's how you help other people too.
Once you have gone through or you're going through that
journey of healing, it is important to help other people
along the way as well. That's part of the reason
why you came here. Would you say that what constitute
an alcoholic? Like who determines that? Is that you that
determines it or who defines that?
Speaker 3 (19:22):
Yeah, it's a self diagnosed disease. Nobody can tell you
but you.
Speaker 4 (19:27):
It's when you are powerless, when you can't stop no
matter how much you try. It's like, oh, I'm just
gonna have two. That's like the basic, very popular. Oh
I've only had two maybe two bottles, you know cases
(19:47):
that's everybody around them can see that they're having problems,
but they don't want to hear it.
Speaker 3 (19:54):
I posted a video.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
On my Facebook about the book, and some somebody responded
and I thought he was pointing up to the person
who made a comment before him, but it was actually
the middle finger because some gal said why so mean?
Speaker 3 (20:10):
And I was just like, so there are people out.
Speaker 4 (20:12):
There that are still in the disease that don't want
to have anything to do with recovery. You know, they're oh,
it's not I'm not having a problem, or I'm enjoying
my life. You know, why are you putting this in
front of me? I really don't know why he took
that personally. That's the only thing that I can think
of is that he is in the throes of addiction
(20:32):
and he just doesn't want to hear any solution. Yes,
it's a self diagnost I can remember when I first
entered into recovery and people were saying that, and then
along my journey there are so many people that I
really disagree with, like judges and that they were sending
them to recovery places. People that get their first drength.
(20:55):
They might just be somebody that made a mistake. Allows
each look of getting behind the wheel got an.
Speaker 1 (21:02):
ACTI I was married to someone who could have like
two beers and it just didn't work out. His body
chemistry was just not if he could get what appeared
to be intoxicated very easily. Actually the truth is that
he had six beers total, just regular beers, but it
got him intoxicated. He was behind the wheel and crashed
(21:25):
a car and you know, so, yeah, I think being
able to identify your levels of what you can tolerate
and then what is.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
I guess it's a lot.
Speaker 1 (21:34):
Someone who's not in that in those shoes cannot speak
to that. To be honest with you.
Speaker 4 (21:40):
People who are not alcoholics don't think about drinking, you
know what I mean. I might be a special occasion
or New Year's and oh I'm going to have a drink,
But they don't. Like with alcoholics, they're obsessed with Okay,
how am I going to get my next drink? You know,
it's that obsession of trying to drink again.
Speaker 3 (22:06):
I can remember when I was younger. Because I was
younger and.
Speaker 4 (22:09):
I was underaged, I had to seek out older people
to buy thoose for me. They were my enablers. They
didn't say no, you're crazy, you're too young, I'm not
going to do this right. I was able to manipulate
people into doing the things I wanted them to do
for me. They were my enibblers. That's how I was
able to get away with you know, I drank as
(22:32):
much as I could because I needed to drown those
demons in my head. And I didn't realize that I
had passed that line of alcoholisms. I was trying to
manage my mental health and then I ended up realizing, oh,
I'm really addicted to this stuff. And I reached the
(22:55):
bottom where I had these two little babies and ended
up being abusive. When I was under the influence, I
was the best, most patient mom. However, when I started
to sober up, I would be really abusive. One day,
I just I came, you know, I came to this
(23:16):
realization is I'm going to kill my babies if I
don't stop this. So I called out protective services on
myself and I said, come get my girls.
Speaker 3 (23:25):
I don't want to hurt him anymore. I don't know
how not to.
Speaker 4 (23:28):
And so the police officers that showed up. One of
them was on the force for eighteen years and he
said not once had they ever had a parent call
for help, and that I was doing the right thing,
and that stuck with me. It allowed me, and then
I entered recovery the next day. You never know who
(23:48):
you're going to help. Early on in my recovery, I
shared about giving.
Speaker 3 (23:54):
The girls up.
Speaker 4 (23:56):
I would have women come up afterwards and thank me
because they were at that same place or their kids
were taken away from them. I just said, you know what,
I need to focus on my recovery. That was a
blessing because if I had kids to concentrate on, I
wouldn't be able to concentrate on getting better. And I
(24:16):
truly believe that otherwise it would have been different. Right,
That's what I did with radical acceptance. You know, when
people are having a hard time accepting certain things and
I'm like, well, why did that happen? Well, it obviously
was supposed to. Just like when I'm driving and somebody
cuts me off and I'm like, did they really have
(24:38):
to do that?
Speaker 3 (24:38):
And then I'm like, apparently.
Speaker 4 (24:40):
Otherwise they wouldn't have and then I keep on driving.
And so all of these different tools and things that
I have, you know, acquired over the years that I
want to share with other people. And that's why with
my clients, I have a wellness plan like a postcard,
and we have checklist of things they can do so
(25:02):
they can continue on their journey to living their dreams.
Because we all have to have tools that live by
and we all need to support. We can't do this alone,
you know.
Speaker 3 (25:15):
That's truly.
Speaker 1 (25:16):
I'm glad that you recognize that this is your thing
that you should be doing, you know, and that you're
doing it. I have to go back and ask you
a question. When you were going through your recovery, were
you able to see the kids and were they gone
until they turn eighteen and then return back to you.
How did that work out?
Speaker 4 (25:39):
Their dad obtained custody. They weren't in separate foster homes.
Speaker 3 (25:43):
In the beginning.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
We were going to court and they went and allowed
me custody because I'm alcoholic. I'm like, but I'm sober nap.
On Christmas Eve, they went to live with him. He
raised them. I had visitation, but he kept moving farther
and farther away, so that it was harder and harder
for me to visit them every weekend, so it was
(26:05):
like every other week, and then it got down to
once a month, and then it was once every.
Speaker 3 (26:10):
Couple of months.
Speaker 4 (26:11):
That I promised myself I would never say one bad
word about their dad to them ever, because that's not fair.
He kept lying to them about me, so they were
growing up with this concept that I was a liar,
but I never lied. I always told the truth. I
figured that when they get old enough, they're going to
(26:32):
discover who their dad really is. And I'm so grateful
I was able to do that because when they were
older I can remember my oldest she calls me a
you know what, dad is a you know whatever, and
I'm like, instead of saying, well, it's about time you
figured that out, I did not say that right. I
was tempted, but I didn't. I just asked her, well,
(26:53):
what makes you say that, you know? And so she
described it. I'm like, well, yeah, I saw. I didn't
one hundred percent agree with her. I just said, yeah,
I guess that would be you know whatever. And so
I was able to just tell them the truth, and
over time they got to see that I was being
honest and that I never said anything about their dad.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
I'm so grateful for that now I have.
Speaker 4 (27:19):
Even though my older daughter is doing her own thing,
my younger daughter and I have an awesome relationship. I
can remember one time with my younger one in the
very beginning, and I would try to call to see
how they were doing, and my youngest one would never
say anything. And then I just gave up talking to
her because there was no response, and I just said, Okay,
(27:41):
well I'm going to go.
Speaker 3 (27:42):
I love you.
Speaker 4 (27:42):
She's like, okay, bye. She was just so angry. I
can remember one time we were talking on the phone,
and I said, Okay, I really have to go now,
my phone's going to die. And she said, fine, cut
me off, why don't you? And we had been on
the phone an hour and I just started to cry
because that's and I knew that it shifted, you know,
that she made that shift that you know that I
(28:05):
loved her, She really did love me. That forgiveness was there,
and hey, so it took fifteen years, but it happened, right,
And it's just that perseverance. I was just persevering and
being laser focused on being honest with them, not talking
about their dad, and just being who I am and
(28:28):
having them come to me no matter how long it took,
so that I have that experience to share with other
people as well.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Yeah, so did writing this book for like therapy for
you or was it more of a calling?
Speaker 3 (28:46):
It was more of a calling.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
I just really wanted to raise awareness because of the stickwab.
Speaker 3 (28:51):
I'm still tired of the stickweb.
Speaker 1 (28:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (28:53):
When I you know, yell at the you know at
the mountaintops.
Speaker 3 (28:58):
You know, my head is not separate.
Speaker 4 (29:01):
And well, my first book that I wrote that it's
being republished because I lost my Amazon account, So I
lost all my books that were on there.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
I'm revising the book.
Speaker 4 (29:13):
It's a book of poetry and it's about my experience
with the abuse, you know, by my ex husband. I
really wanted to release that to help other people in
those situations are just trying to get out. My vision
is to have that book and all the shelters for
(29:34):
the women that are in the shelters, because I was
in the shelter too, and from the coffee table, to
have a book the Freed Soul from domestic Violence to Freedom.
What's that all about? You know? And then so there's
three chapters Hopelessness, Hope, and healing, and it's just my
journey of how I heal.
Speaker 3 (29:53):
It may have taken me a few decades to get.
Speaker 4 (29:55):
To the other side of that, but that was my journey,
and I get to write about the journey. And people
think that a healer will zap you well, and.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
It doesn't work like that.
Speaker 4 (30:08):
Yeah, you know, it's like I give you the tools
so that you can heal your own life from side,
so you get it from within, you know, because you
all have that power.
Speaker 3 (30:19):
Healers.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Yes, we do have to. How do your girls feel
about the fact that you're an author, we don't.
Speaker 3 (30:29):
Really talk about it that much.
Speaker 4 (30:31):
The first book of poetry, I actually released it with
a different name to protect them because the majority of
the book is about their dad and what he did
to me. They don't know because I never told them.
I just wanted to protect them from that truth because
he raised them and they worshiped him. I attended a
(30:56):
hay House writer's boot camp a couple of years ago
and one of the authors said two things that I
had an Aha moment. She said, you write from the
scar and not the wound, and then you write the
manuscript first, and then you come up with the title
because it can change. And that aha moment was this
(31:20):
book that I re released with this new title. The
title was Life on the Border Coping with Mental and
Emotional Illness. I thought, okay, well, that's really vague. The
majority of the people that have written in their stories
in this book also have mental illness and addiction. Except
(31:42):
for three stories. There's one gal that has PTSD from
an inner ear thing that it's like really loud noises
and it comes and goes, so she's hyper vigilant and
she has created comic strips to deal with her PTSD
I'm like, wow, I would have never thought of that.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
Is that in this new book that's in the current
book that we're talking about today.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Her story is in there.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
Oh okay, there's another story of somebody with PTSD that
has a service dog, and then there's a gal that
had bipolar disorder, bolimia and alcoholism. So there's an array
of different like with my PTSD. I was finally able
to go through the EMDR that and it's the I
(32:33):
movement desensitization sometimes I get and reprocessing. I had to
go through every single trauma, and what we realized was
my therapist was.
Speaker 3 (32:47):
Like, hold on a minute.
Speaker 4 (32:49):
You were traumatized from the moment you were born because
you were given up for adoption. So I didn't have
that connection with my mother. And I was molested at five,
and then my best friends left me. So I just
had one trauma after another and raped when I was sixteen.
Speaker 3 (33:07):
There was so much happening in.
Speaker 4 (33:09):
My life before I even met my husband, and then
during and after that relationship. I actually don't call it
live a relationship. I was a prisoner.
Speaker 3 (33:19):
Basically.
Speaker 4 (33:20):
He had me cut all ties to my friends and family,
and I was really isolated.
Speaker 3 (33:26):
Those traumas that keep you.
Speaker 4 (33:31):
It's like when a trigger happens and you're unaware of
the trigger. I would get fired a bunch of times
because my ex husband was so much older than me.
If a supervisor said something to me that was really
degrading or founded like him, I would react and then
get fired. I did not realize that until years later
(33:54):
when I started to get help with the PTSD and
the therapies that I was in.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Well about awareness, Yeah, yeah, and now you're Reiki. Would
you say it's like your king Master.
Speaker 4 (34:07):
Yes, I am now a Raking Master Teacher. I was
first certified in March of two thousand and six. I
was a practitioner for a lot of years until two
years ago I decided to finally get my master teacher
certifications so that I could start teaching people that they
can heal themselves and teach them king.
Speaker 3 (34:27):
I've had a few.
Speaker 4 (34:27):
Clients and that's been really awesome, and then I've been
what else.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
Have I been doing lately?
Speaker 4 (34:35):
I've been doing book signings, so I've like, I've been
doing book signings to raise awareness and funds for nonprofit
organizations with mental health. I've been speaking at different recovery events.
My favorite one. I was asked to be the keynote
speaker on the Saturday night bonfire meeting at a camp
(34:57):
out with over three hundred people. Nice Coventina is going
to be the keynote speaker. Yay, other reason made speak.
Speaker 3 (35:09):
I'm just grateful. I'm really grateful.
Speaker 1 (35:12):
That's good stuff. I love it. So what do you
think is next for you?
Speaker 4 (35:16):
Right now?
Speaker 1 (35:16):
You're doing book signings and you're teaching others that they
can heal themselves, and we're here talking about this book.
I definitely recommend this book. It's available on Amazon. It's
also available in an e book as well. And so, Coventina,
what is next for you? Where do you see yourself
going from here?
Speaker 3 (35:38):
Well, I'm in the middle of my next book.
Speaker 1 (35:41):
That's what I was thinking. Another book or more speaking engagements,
But there you go, another book right on.
Speaker 4 (35:49):
Well, I'm writing a book on boss and right now
the title is navigating through Lass without Losing Yourself. The
other thing that I'm doing is creating an oracle deck
just for people who are dual diagnosed. There's going to
be a positive word and then on the other side,
(36:11):
a challenging word.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
I'm just in the beginning.
Speaker 4 (36:14):
I have several friends who are creating decks as well.
Most of them are about angels or FAIRI I'm writing
the book and creating the deck and then doing book
signings whenever the opportunity arises.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
So yeah, I love that. That's good stuff. Oh, we've
got to talk about the fairies. What is your belief
about fairies? I now, we had a brief conversation today
before we started our show. There are some people that
actually don't believe that there's a such thing as fairies.
Speaker 4 (36:45):
What are your thoughts on I identify with the Mr Fairy,
which is a half mermaide half fairy. People might think
I'm crazy now and turn this off, but because I
like when I was little, I used to eat dirt,
and so the fairies are all about the earth. And
if you see mushroom patches, those are their homes. That's
(37:05):
where they reside. And they're pranksters, but they really help
me ground and honor Mother Earth. They really do. And
it's just like tinker Belt. You know, a lot of
people are, oh, that's a fantasy, that's a cartoon or whatever,
(37:27):
And why would these things be created if they didn't exist.
That's all I'm saying. Why would they make a movie
with a fairy if it didn't exist? How did they
come up with what it looked like, what the attributes are.
It's like, how do they know? How did they just
make this up? If you get into nature and gardening
(37:51):
and things like that, they'll come to you if you're open.
If you're just open minded just a little bit, you'll
be able to see more. And the more you see,
the more you're open to that, and then it just
becomes second nature, you know. Oh yeah, well that's probably
the fairies, you know, play a trick on you. Oh
I put my keys here. I could have sworn I
(38:11):
put my keys here, and you know, people don't believe it.
But it's like, no, there's somewhere I don't know where
they are. And later on they show up in the
spot where I was looking. And it's just like my
very first reiki client, right after I had my certification,
her paternal grandfather showed.
Speaker 3 (38:29):
Up for a message.
Speaker 4 (38:30):
I'm doing the reki on her, and there's this old
man with a top hat a long coat approaching me
and I just heard the words, just go with it, okay,
because I've gotten to that point in my life where
I listen right, And so he's like, I have a
message for her, and I'm her paternal grandfather, and I
(38:52):
told her I don't freak out, and he said, please
don't miss me. I'm still here, loving you and protecting
were going down her face. She confirmed that was her
paternal grandpa. About Vince, he was also really funny and jovial.
It was like you could sit on his lap and
(39:12):
have him tell you jokes all day. He had that
kind of personality. Her parents were teenagers when her mom
got pregnant. Her grandma on her mom's side wanted her
mom to give the baby up for adoption, and Grandpa
Vince stepped in and.
Speaker 3 (39:26):
Said, absolutely not.
Speaker 4 (39:28):
We're gonna keep this baby in the family and help
raise it. He was loving her and protecting her from
before she was born. So I just can't make this
stuff up. And so I tried to tell people my experiences,
and people still don't believe me. I don't know what
else to tell you, but that's what happened. I wasn't
(39:51):
looking for it. Just you know, I'm like, oh, I
guess I have that gift too.
Speaker 1 (39:57):
Well. I love it. I love that you're tapped in
and grounded and like that you are using your gifts
and that's why we came here so that we could
help other people, so that we can use those gifts.
And what message do you want the readers to hold
on to after reading your book.
Speaker 4 (40:16):
Well, that there's hope of recovery, that you can speak out,
it is safe to speak out, and that there are
support groups out there that you can belong to and
get that well support where you don't feel like you're alone,
(40:37):
you don't feel like you're crazy, you don't feel like
you're different. You know that you're just a person that
has another illness and that there's help that you can
get better and you can have a successful life, you
can live your dreams. And then with the family members
and friends, there's all kinds of support surrounding them if
(40:58):
they so choose, you know, because a lot of times
they don't understand or they don't know that they're enabling
their loved one who's struggling, and that's why they're still struggling.
They have to reach a bottom, they have to burn
all those bridges before they have that aha moment when
there's nothing else left but to turn the corner and
(41:22):
try to recover.
Speaker 1 (41:23):
What would you say being duly blessed means today to you,
not just as an author, but just like as a person.
Speaker 4 (41:32):
Well, that I'm able to help people with mental illness
and people that have addiction issues. I've been placed on
this planet. I believe to help as many people as possible. Yeah,
And I always had a mantra heal the earth one
person at a time. It's like, if it just helps
one person, it's done its job. I had a gal
(41:55):
I give her a copy and we hadn't seen each
other for a long time, and she just has to
be in my area.
Speaker 3 (42:02):
It's like, this is how the universe works.
Speaker 4 (42:04):
She had just visited another friend in Texas and I
handed her the book. She texted me the next morning
and said, I'm halfway through. Can I purchase at least
five copies? I might, Well, of course, you can purchase
as many as you want. I give her my website
information where she could purchase the book directly from me,
(42:24):
and she ordered seven copies to give to people that
she knew would benefit from the book.
Speaker 3 (42:30):
So that's what I want, you know.
Speaker 4 (42:31):
I want this book to get into the hands of
every single person that needs it most, and it's starting
to happen, and I'm like heay for it to land
in the number one spot within the first week in
Kindle in number one and personality disorders, number two in
(42:52):
drug Dependency and Recovery, and number seven in family health.
And then the paperback reached number twenty five. Amazon really slissed,
which is phenomenal. That didn't happen the last time I
published my books on Amazon.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
Oh, I love that.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
I absolutely love that. Gratitude is a powerful theme in
your book. How did developing an attitude of gratitude change
the recovery journey for those featured?
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Well, for me, I could have died several times, not
only in my addiction but in my mental health experiences.
To be able to breathe is a miracle. What spiritual
teacher it says, you are a walking, talking, living, breathing miracle.
(43:42):
He knows my story and that I could have died
so many different times and I'm still here and it
yeah waking up. So in the beginning, on the first
of the year, I've been writing on little mini colorful
sticky notes, a positive affirmation, words of encouragement, or a
(44:04):
little thing to do like stop what you're doing and
dance for five minutes. So whenever you have one of
those moments, I love that shake the jar.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
Yeah, yeah, I have it somewhere from the other side.
Speaker 4 (44:18):
And so you just shake it up and whatever comes out,
that's your message, you know, that's your little pick me up.
And in February, I had a nightmare that I was
getting ready to end my life and I woke up
and I was crying and I was journaling, and all
of a sudden, I was like, yeah, have to pick
me up jar, silly, Okay, you know sometimes I don't
even listen to my own stuff, right, So I shook
(44:39):
it up and I'm part of that you just can't
make this stuff up group. I pulled it out and
it says your life is valuable. So I put it
back in the jar because I might need that later on.
But it's like, yes, my life is valuable. And because
I've been through so many of those dark nights of
the soul and moments that I can relate to when
(44:59):
somebody is at the end and on that edge, you
know that they can turn around. And when my mom
passed and I had those dark moments for months, I
was in the darkness, and my mantra was turn to
the light, no matter how dim. Turn to the light,
no matter how dim. That's the biggest message I have
(45:21):
for people. Turn into no matter how dim. I don't
care if it's just half an inch, a quarter inch, turn,
but just back to the light really makes the difference.
Every morning I write a gratitude list. The first thing
is my sobriety. I'm stable and I have all these
(45:44):
other things to be grateful for. I want other people
to try this, to get into the practice of writing
what they're grateful for, right down, everything you're grateful for
for each letter of the alphabet. Trust me, you'll be
able to find things. Try that and see what happens.
Speaker 2 (46:06):
Wow, I love that you shared so much.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
It was just powerfully packed with good stuff.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
You know.
Speaker 1 (46:13):
I have this thing that I do. It's like mind treats,
where it's positive quotes. I call them treats for the
mind and not for the belly because I put little
candies on the outside of it. They're like little mini candies,
like little m and ms and like lollipops and things
like that. And I do this event where I go
(46:34):
to different places that I'm invited. It's just a variety
of places around Arizona, and I actually sell them for
people to put in their office, on their desk or
to have at home. I took some out of a
book that I have and put those on colorful paper,
and like, I put it in there and it looks
like a gift because it's got the ShredIt paper and
all that in it, and the way I package it,
(46:57):
it looks super cool. It reminds me of you're that
you shake up. I call them mind treats, you know,
because they're to help our minds flourish and gratitude. Gratitude
is my go to whenever I'm feeling down or if
anything hits our family where we're going through struggles, we
definitely lean on gratitude. I have a journal lot about
(47:17):
that one. I absolutely love all the things that you
share today. I'm happy for you and proud of you.
You can make it through and this can be done,
but you have to really want it and you have
to take the steps that you need to in order
to make it happen. When I hear you share your story,
so many people are going through something similar, and so
(47:40):
I'm glad that you're feeling open and comfortable enough to
share your story, and I love like your journey of
like now you're a teacher, you know what I mean,
doing what you came here to do, right.
Speaker 4 (47:53):
And when we talk about gratitude, unconditional love is the
highest vibration, gratitude is the second. So when we try
to reach those vibrations, I'm willing to help somebody out
of a lower vibration if they want to move up,
but I'm not going to waste my time on people
that are interested. I'm going to focus my attention on
(48:13):
people who are and they don't know the way, but
they're open to finding the ways to raise their vibration
as well. Because when we're in unconditional love and gratitude,
nothing can stop me.
Speaker 1 (48:27):
The unstoppable cold Tina. I love everything that you're doing,
and you're right. Spending time on someone who isn't ready
to take that walk is a waste of time. It
brings your vibration down, and you're a light worker, so
you've got to be able to keep your vibration high.
(48:47):
But what's really great is when that person is ready,
they'll know where.
Speaker 3 (48:52):
To turn to.
Speaker 1 (48:53):
They know that you're there with open arms ready to
welcome them and walk along with them in that journy.
Speaker 4 (49:00):
Yeah, yeah, that's definitely yeah. I guess we can't do
it alone. We all need somebody.
Speaker 1 (49:07):
If someone wanted to purchase the book, where can they
find it?
Speaker 4 (49:11):
Well, if they want to discanted signed copy, they can
go on my website covent tinawaterhock dot com and I'd
be more than happy to sign a copy and send
it to them. And it's also on Amazon, and it's
basically all over the world. It's Amazon in different countries.
There's other websites that have it. They have on Barnes
(49:32):
and Noble, they have Google book Books, so it's everywhere basically. However,
if you want to discount sign copy, then definitely contact
me on my website.
Speaker 1 (49:43):
Website, and that information is in the show notes where
you guys can contact Coventina if there's anyone out there
who wants to work with her and have her as
your coach. She's amazing and does a variety of things,
not just an author, but she said she's a teacher.
All that information is in the show notes for you
(50:04):
to click on and reach out to her. I'm sending
you virtual hugs and thank you so much. I appreciate
you coming on the show and hanging out with me.
This is Authentic Talks. We found each other because it
was divine. We are going to come back together for
another show once we're able to put that together. The
book you're currently working on or about to start working on,
(50:27):
is in that same arena. We might wait for that book,
you know, and like bring the people on and talk
about it. Then I'm not sure because I'm trying to
work it out where we're talking about a particular book,
but the topic is about loss. We'll see where I'm guided,
you know, because I'm so open. I'm like, Universe, just
(50:47):
guide me, lead me. As long as I stay open,
I know that it's going to fall in the manner
in which it should. I really appreciate you for being
so open and candid and sharing your story because that's
what we are, Authentic Talks, and it's all about helping people.
Before we end our show, is there anything that you
(51:08):
want to leave our listeners with or is there anything
we did not cover that you want to talk about.
Speaker 3 (51:16):
Sometimes it's one breath at a time.
Speaker 4 (51:18):
The book that I'm writing on loss, maybe loss of jobs,
losing your house, losing, losing relationships, things like that. They
don't necessarily always mean somebody has passed away, even though
the majority of it is. But there's other people that
are also writing their stories on loss that are adding
(51:39):
to the book as well. I just want everybody to
know that sometimes it has to get down to one
breath at a time, because one day at a time
might just be too overwhelming. Everybody can get through when
breath at a time, I believe.
Speaker 3 (51:55):
I love that.
Speaker 1 (51:56):
Thank you so much for hanging out with me, and
we'll be talking soon.
Speaker 3 (52:01):
Thank you, thank you much.
Speaker 1 (52:02):
Wow you guys, what a powerful conversation.
Speaker 2 (52:05):
Thank you so much Covin Tina for.
Speaker 1 (52:08):
Generously sharing your journey and for giving us a glimpse
into your new book, Dual Diagnose Duly bless from Struggle
to Purpose. Your story is a reminder for all of
us that healing is a process, it's not a destination,
and that our greatest challenges can become our greatest blessings.
(52:28):
You've shown us that by sharing our stories, we can
break the stigma surrounding mental illness and addiction and create
a space for others to begin their own healing journey.
For our listeners, if anything you heard today resignated with you,
remember that you're not alone. And I know I say
that recently, I've been sharing that you're not alone on
(52:51):
many of our episodes because it's absolutely truth. There's so
much support out there, and as covent Tina said, your
head is not separate from your body. Mental health is
just as important as physical health.
Speaker 2 (53:06):
And if you want to connect with Covincina and learn
more about her work, you can find the information in
the show notes and connect with her. And until next time,
stay authentic, take care of yourselves and each other. Thank
you so much for tuning in. I'm chante with Authentic
Talks
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