Let Them Love You

Like it or not, humans need to attach to other humans.  We may not want to need that; we may associate it with pain and fear, or may simply not have developed the skills to attach well.  We may actually push away the very thing we need.  But it doesn’t stop us from needing to be loved, seen, understood by someone.  Today Cinthia challenged us to let “them” (i.e., other human beings who are willing to extend grace and give kindness) love us – to accept compliments with a smile and a “thank you,” to receive gifts offered, to allow those who love us to support us as we change. God is with us while we are in the process of change.  We may want to run from ourselves and our sins, but He is willing to be with us and help us while we change, even while we are fighting Him.  He extends grace and mercy without limit during our lives, but we may find that others have limits and will only keep trying for so long if we continue to push them away from us.  Allow those who love you to support you as you change. Sometimes it is easier to accept kindness from strangers than from people who are close to us.  This may be because the temporary nature of our relationship with strangers serves as a built-in boundary that does not exist in our more substantial relationships.  We can, however, develop our own boundaries so that we are able to accept kindness from those closest to us.  And the better your boundaries are, the more loving you can be toward others.  Don't expect something in return when you are giving kindness to others.  Don't allow suspicion to steal from you when accepting a gift.  You are not responsible for strings and expectations that were not communicated or obvious.  You cannot read minds.  You can simply enjoy it.  Don't decide for others what they are expecting in return. Do you fear there are strings attached to accepting a kindness?  You don't have to read the person's mind.  If someone appears to be offering kindness, you have the option to accept it.  If it turns out that there are strings attached, you can address it when you find out that is the case.  You can say, "I wish I had known you were wanting this.  What can I do now?"  You can explain that you will not be able to accept that person's gifs in the future if the gifts come with similar expectations.  Most of the time, however, the payment that means the most to people who extend grace and mercy is continuing to live as a changed person.  So say, "Thank you."  Accept the compliment.  Say, "That means a lot to me," or, "That really helps."  Don't insult the person trying to extend good to you by believing your own negative feelings more than their kindness.  Accepting simple kindness does not mean you owe the person something.  As an adult, you can stop accepting love from someone if it turns out to be problematic.  You can even walk away without judging.  You can have boundaries without allowing your heart to become corrupted.   The world has changed, but God is still doing big, cool things.  God is kind.  You be kind.  Kindness supports peace, and peace loves to linger.  It loves to calm things down.  God is a God of peace.  He goes to war for very specific reasons, many of which have to do with  rescuing the oppressed, but He loves peace.  Read or reread I Corinthians 13.  Practice the Love Chapter on yourself.  It feels weird, but it is very powerful when you are willing to forgive yourself and be understanding.  It may be a cliche to say that you have to love yourself first, but people truly have a need to be seen, claimed, and accepted.  (And remember, acceptance of a person does not mean agreement with that person's decisions.  Acceptance of yourself does not mean agreeing with all your own decisions.)  Peace is a quality that expands.  Kindness is a quality that is catching.  The way that we love people has much to do with our own insecurities and judgments.  We may put a lot of conditions on our love for others, just as we do with our love for ourselves.  When we practice loving ourselves the way God does, we develop the ability to love others with that love.   God covered Adam and Eve.  Covering involves hiding something unattractive or something that misrepresents or convolutes the nature or something else.  Covering does not mean that the sin doesn't matter; it simply gives an opportunity to fix it.  Love doesn't want to expose your sin; it loves to help you get better so that you don't have to be embarrassed.  This is very different than keeping secrets that only enable sin to continue or grow.  Covering or hiding is a gift of grace.  There are times with some people when we have to recognize that grace is being misunderstood as permission or opportunity to keep sinning, and we have to respond accordingly.  But the kind of covering that love does is beautiful.  It's a beautiful thing that a perfect God is willing to be with us, cover us, help us change.  It is beautiful when we do that for one another in appropriate ways.  A