Clarity Through Sobriety: Accepting the Truth in Toxic Narcissistic Relationships. [Ep.806]

Are you stuck in a relationship where giving feels endless and love feels conditional? In this episode, I explore how codependency, future faking, and patterns learned from our family dynamic can keep us trapped, and how alcohol, drugs, and distractions reinforce the cycle. Sobriety isn’t just about quitting substances; it’s about gaining clarity, recognizing your value, and understanding your relationships for what they truly are. When you remove the brain fog, you stop believing the lies, see through the future faking, identify the false hope, and see the manipulation for what it is.  When we are sober are able to stand up for ourselves in a more solid and consistent way, better at setting healthy boundaries, and we are able to gain confidence and a better overall self-esteem. 

#narcissisim #narcissistic #sobriety #toxicrelationships #clarity #futurefaking #falsehope #manipulation #gaslighting #borderline #covertnarcissist #malignantnarcississt 



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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're in a good place now you are listening to
Perspectives with Ashley Burgess. Hi, and welcome back live to
the Ashley Burgess Podcast. I was thinking the other day
about certain questions about relationships, and I have some questions
for you. Do you feel like you're seeing your relationship
clearly or your relationships clearly? Are you seeing the duty

(00:25):
that you have in these relationships clearly? Are you taking
on more than you need to in your relationships? Are
you codependent with somebody in a relationship, or are you
more self centered in a relationship. I've found that there's

(00:47):
only a few things that can safeguard us from the
programming that we got when we were young growing up
in the family dynamic. As many of you know, you
were taught certain things by watching mom and dad. Maybe
Dad was a complete covert narcissist and behind closed doors
a very mean, brutal person, and Mom was the doting codependent,

(01:09):
the doormat that constantly was there for Dad no matter
what happened. And you watched the two Tango in this dance,
and many of you started taking on those codependent tendencies
because you were trying to get Dad's attention wanting him
to love you, wanting him to be there for you,
wanting him to be there at the games, or the
football games, or the basketball games, or the choir concerts,

(01:30):
whatever it was that you were doing. And so you
placated the narcissists, and in that effort in playcating, you
were trying to get the attention and to get that
love and support that you've always wanted from a parent.
Now the tables could have been completely turned. Maybe Dad
was a complete codependent trying to take care of your
mom who was a raging alcoholic as well as a narcissist,

(01:51):
or somebody with borderline personality disorder or a combination of
borderline and narcissism. And so you watched as that played out,
and you became your father becoming more and more codependent,
trying to be there, trying to help and thinking, oh,
my value is not within, My value is outside of me,
My value is to help others, and not seeing the

(02:12):
value that you have within. It's also interesting too some
people not my normal avatar as far as a client,
but some people become very self centered or even acquire
some of those narcissistic tendencies watching mom or Dad and
that can be a defense mechanism, or it can just
be following the leader, and so that can be a

(02:33):
very interesting combination. Usually, however, if you're listening to my
podcast or you're a current client, been a client, or
watch my YouTube videos, usually you are the giver. You're
the person giving and giving and giving to someone that's
constantly taking and taking advantage of you. And you're in
that relationship and you wish so badly to change it

(02:54):
or to get out of it, but you just don't
know how how do I move past this? How do
I get out of this situation? How do I get
out from underneath their foot? How do I move forward?
And I know that many of you, if you're in
a relationship like this right now, you've been in multiple
relationships like this in the past. This is a cycle
pattern of yours that you have dealt with over and

(03:15):
over again after watching mom and Dad in their situation,
and so in today's podcast, I want to actually change that.
I want to put some thought out there as far
as how do we get past that, how do we
move forward? You know, what do we do? And what
are some real actionables? What are some real actionables that

(03:37):
we can actually get rid of or we can change,
or we can do what are some actionables that we
can do right now to make our life better? And
these are things that I want you to think about.
And I was thinking about one of the big, big,
big ones, the major one, and this is the major,
major Anchilada dinner, supreme dinner of all the big kahuna say.

(04:01):
And I believe that that is getting sober, having sobriety,
getting to the point where you're not using alcohol and drugs.
So in order to really see things clearly, we cannot
be under the influence of alcohol or drugs. In order
to see things clearly, we have to have sobriety. We

(04:23):
have to have clarity, right, And I feel that getting
sober is the true key to seeing your relationships with
clarity and understanding. And I know that some of you
are saying, wow, Okay, yeah, it sounds great, and I
think that's a great idea, But how do I get there?
Because my relationship makes me want to drink, or my relationship,
you know, makes me want to smoke weed or whatever

(04:44):
that looks like. And I understand that it's a cycle, right,
It's like you deal with them, you come home, you
don't like being at home. This person is not nice
to you, or they're constantly finding faults in you, or
they're constantly using forever ammunition where they're bringing up stuff
from ten years ago that happened, that wasn't that big
of a deal then, But they're painting the picture of

(05:05):
how horrible you are as a person on a constant basis.
And I understand that. And so you go to the
bottle of wine, or you go to the bottle of scotch,
or you reach for you know, the marijuana or whatever
it is, and I understand that. But see, the drug
or the alcohol is actually what's keeping you in this cycle. Okay,

(05:25):
it's like the band aid that you're putting on. It's
the band aid that you're putting on the wound that
needs to heal without being covered up with a band aid, right.
I mean, this needs to heal, and the only way
to heal it is to actually look at things head on,
honestly when you see the situation honestly head on. And
what I mean by that is you know sands, alcohol,

(05:47):
sands drugs, and I know that this is not like
an immediate for many of you. You might say, wow, Okay,
I'm just gonna stop drinking all together after all the
years of years of drinking the cope, or I'm gonna
stop smoking weed, or I'm gonna stop doing cocaine or
stop doing this or that with all because of all
the years of trying to cope. Okay, And I understand that,
but we have to get to a point of tie,
trading down and eventually getting sober. I found that. You know, remember,

(06:12):
if you're drinking and you're basically suppressing your feelings, you're
drinking and you know you're getting tipsy or whatever, and
you're you keep for living the good days, the good times, right,
you keep putting that back into your mind when that's
the least that you need in your You don't want
that in your mind. You don't need that in your mind.
You don't need that distraction. When you're looking at toxicity
in your life. You need to be like, hey, okay,

(06:34):
where do I want to be at with clarity? What
do I want to get in my life? What kind
of person do I actually want around me? What kind
of people do I want around me? And that's a
really interesting question, what kind of people do I want
around me? Because I think that that's so important. What
kind of person do I want in a relationship? What

(06:55):
kind of person do I want to see every day
when I get home? And I'm not talking about I'm
talking about personality, values, intentions, Right, what do you want?
And then also what do you want within yourself? Because
I know that you know, if you're suppressing your feelings,
whether it's alcohol, drugs, what have you, you know, or

(07:16):
getting dopamine highs trying to like overcome the negativity in
your life, this isn't going to help you. And so
what I'm asking you to do is really look at
whatever it is that you're doing and realize this is
actual crutch. It's an actual crutch designed to keep you
in the matrix of the toxicity in your life. It's

(07:39):
not helping you. If anything, it's actually helping you to
stay stuck, to stay in a negative situation, and to
keep allowing toxicity and people with toxic intentions in your life. Okay,
And I really want you to think about that, because
if you're drinking a lot, and you know what I'm saying,

(08:01):
before you get home, maybe you're at work and you're
able to see and process what's really happening. In your life,
if your marriage is bringing you pain and suffering, if
you're in a marriage or in a relationship or living
with somebody that's a covert narcissist, a malignant narcissist, somebody
with sociopathic tendencies, somebody with extreme borderline personality disorder connected

(08:24):
with narcissism. I mean, if you're dealing with that on
a daily basis, and you're coming from a very codependent
or dependent stance, the alcohol and the drugs are the
thing that's holding you there. If you can start tight
trading down and also realizing and I think this is
a big caveat the reason why you're drinking or doing
so many drugs, besides the fact that you've become somewhat

(08:46):
addicted to it, is also because you're trying to basically
keep yourself in this situation. You're trying not to rock
the boat, even though everything that you need to do
is to rock the boat. Everything that you need to
do is to see things clearly, to see things with clarity. Right.
The more that you are aware, the more you can

(09:06):
see their intentions, the more you can stop lying to
yourself and you will not continue to fall for future
faking One of the things that I've realized here with
many people, especially when they're codependent, is somebody will sell
them a bill of goods. Somebody has will will say hey, uh,
you know, this is what I'm gonna be, this is

(09:27):
who I am, this is what I want whatever, and
I'm gonna do all this, and the codependent or the
dependent goes, you know what, you know, this is amazing. Okay,
this person's gonna do all these things. But that person
never steps up to the plate to do anything. And
so as the years go by and nothing's coming to fruition,
and you're still holding onto that future faking you're still
holding onto that future that's possible, that this person is

(09:50):
painted for you, and it's never coming to fruition, and
you keep thinking, well, maybe one day, maybe one day,
you take another glass of wine, you smoke another you know,
you know, you smoke another bowl of weed, you take
another hit of cocaine, whatever it is, and you go, Okay,
well you know what it's gonna happen, and you go
back into that fairy tale, You go back into the
beginning of that relationship, back into those great days, back

(10:11):
into the salad days, as they say, back into the
love bombing days, right, because you start reliving that and
you start going back into that, believing the future, faking
holding onto the false hope, right, because the alcohol and
the drugs make us hold onto the false hope because
they're all lies. Drugs and alcohol are all lies, because

(10:32):
they don't keep you feeling that way. Right. If you
drink too much alcohol, you wake up with extreme anxiety, right,
extreme anxiety, horrible anxiety, and you're like, oh my god,
I can't believe this. I feel so horrible, I can't
think straight. You go through the entire workday just trying
to get it together, right, just trying to get it together.
And it's not until like the late afternoon where you're

(10:53):
finally getting it together, you're finally seeing through all this stuff.
And then you go back home and you deal with stuff,
and you start and again, right, you over drink and
you go through the anxiety and you're just trying to
clear your head. You're just dealing with brain fog all
day long. Now, if it's drugs, right, if it's cocaine,
you're chasing that high if I just take you know,

(11:13):
if I just do another bump of cocaine, another line
of cocaine. You know, maybe this will get better. Maybe
I can just calm myself a little bit more dopamine.
Maybe more dopamine will help me, because then I don't
have to deal with this. Or if I'm smoking weed,
how much weed do you have to smoke to let
this go? This is insanity, right, And I need you
to start seeing the truth because what's happened here is

(11:35):
instead of speaking your truth, instead of standing up for yourself,
instead of calling this person out for who they are,
instead of saying, hey, this is who you are, this
is what you're doing, I have accepted this reality. I'm
not going to accept this anymore. This is no longer
part of my protocol. I don't need you and I
don't need your lies. And the thing about it is
is that I realize that most people that are drinking themselves,

(11:57):
you know, to death, basically doing drugs, doing these things.
You're in a relationship where you're super unhappy and you're
just trying to medicate yourself. You're just trying to calm
yourself down. And I want to give you a picture
of it, you know, like you remember on Golden Girls,
where you know she was like picture this nineteen thirty five.
You know, Okay, I want you to picture this. If
you're in a relationship right now and you're three, four

(12:19):
or five, six, ten years in, it's not going to
get any better if you're self medicating. I have clients
that have come to me that have been doing this
for thirty five years, and we've made massive changes in
their life. But guess what, we had to pull them
out of the bottle, pull them out of the situation
because the only thing that they were doing now was

(12:40):
complete self medicating in order to deal with the tyrant
that was in their home. Okay, And it became you
become this doormat, right You become this dormat for this
person's toxicity, for their bs, for their lives, for everything.
And when you start getting sober. And I'm not saying
you have to cut out everything right now, I'm saying, hey,

(13:01):
if you're drinking a bottle of wine, many of you
might be two or three. If you're drinking two bottles
of wine, you need to cut down a one, okay,
and you need to start tie trading down. Some of
you just need to go sober cold sobriety because it's
the only way. But I need you to think about
what this is. Is that the alcohol and the drugs
are holding you into the toxicity once you break out

(13:22):
of that prison. And it is a prison, by the way,
it is a prison. The cocaine might feel great right
this second, it might help to mellow you out. It's
a prison that's holding you back from who you are. Okay,
And only reason why you keep doing so much is
why is to numb yourself. Numb yourself with what's going on.

(13:42):
Because if you were in a really healthy environment and
in a good relationship, would you want to numb yourself?
Would you want to drink yourself to death? Would you
want to sneak alcohol? Would you want to sneak cocaine?
Would you want to be smoking three joints in the
garage before coming in and seeing your spouse else? Would
you want to binge drink and drink twelve fourteen beers

(14:04):
a night. It doesn't make sense, you see what I'm saying.
So step back and look at the model that you've
created for your life. Is this what you deserve? And
this is a big question. I want everybody that's listening
right now, if you're dealing with this right now, do
you deserve this? Is this the life that you deserve?
Do you deserve to be in pain and suffering? Do
you deserve to be upset and unhappy? Do you deserve

(14:28):
to go through this on a daily basis? I don't
think so, And I think you would have to agree
with me that you are a good person and we
all have our issues that we have to deal with.
And you know that's what I do in my coaching
is I help people get better. I help people find
their value. I help you find your value and get
away from the situation, be able to see it for

(14:48):
what it is, and move forward in your life. This
is so critical and crucial for you to have that
sense of peace and resolve in your life instead of
of resentment and regret. Because the longer you keep holding
on to the toxic relationship that's not working, the longer

(15:08):
you're involved in something that's not working. Okay, the longer
you're involved in something that's not working, the more years
you take up in a relationship that's just sucking you dry,
the more years that you get stuck in that relationship,
the less time you have on the back end to
actually live your life that you want. Think about it
it's I mean, I hate to say it. I mean,
you know there is a time limit, right, and so

(15:31):
there has to be a time where you say, Okay, hey,
this isn't working. I'm gonna stop barking up this tree
over and over again with something that wasn't working ever.
But I just don't want to be alone. I'm so
scared of being alone. I've been beaten down so much
about my self esteem is so low. But let me
have another drink, let me have another line, let me
do another you know, let me get another you know,
hit off that pipe. I need. Whatever this is. Remember,

(15:54):
all of this is just a funnel into keeping you
down and out. As long as the alcohol and the
drugs can keep you in the toxic situation, it's working.
It's working. And guess what. The drugs and alcohol aren't
working for you. They haven't worked for you ever. Even

(16:14):
when you thought they were working for you, they weren't
working for you. It might have been fun, maybe in
your early twenties or mid twenties, it's not fun anymore. Okay,
it's time to wake up. It's time to stop being
allowed to be delusional. So remember alcohol and drugs, and
they call it spirits, right, they call liquor spirits. There's

(16:34):
a reason for that. We won't go into a big
dietribe of that today, but there's a big reason for that.
It allows all kinds of stuff into your body because
there's nobody watching it. There's nobody, you know, there's nobody
at the gate. There's nobody patrolling anything, right, there's nobody
patrolling your subconscious. You're just dealing with all this drama
and hassle. You go home and you're having fights and arguments,
and everybody's drinking. And I remember I had a client

(16:57):
for a while when they first came to me, and
every single night that you know, her husband and her
would get so drunk and she would pack her bags
every night and grab the kid and do all this
stuff and just insanity. And I was like, first of all,
the child is going to have PTSD. The child's going
to have a lot of trauma from this. Second of all,
this isn't working for anybody. Every time you get drunk.

(17:18):
Every night, you drink two bottles, he drinks two bottles.
Y'all are smoking weed. All this is happening. This is
ruining both of your lives. Both of your lives are
being ruined, and your child, unfortunately his life, you will
have to be in therapy and coaching for a very
long time to overcome everything that he's heard and seen.
And so what I'm saying to you is, if you're
in this situation right now, somebody's got to end it.

(17:39):
Somebody's got to end this because this is just like
a speed to death. I mean, it's just like, what
are we doing here? We're just like speeding our life
through this process. We're not happy, we're not feeling good.
We continue to drink and try to escalate the situation
or calm the situation down, and that's not working. You know.
The other side of the coin is if you're in
a relationship with somebody that is an addict and it's

(18:02):
also narcissistic in all these things, what are you doing?
I understand that you are scared of being alone. I
understand that that fear. But when a fear of being
alone like overcomes the concept of your own safety, right,
I mean, at that point you really got to look
at your own mental state and say, why am I

(18:23):
in so much fear of doing this on my own
when I definitely can, when I definitely have the ability.
I can do it. You know, I'm not. You know,
I'm not in a government where I can't get divorced.
I can actually get divorced. I'm in a place that
I can get divorced. I'm in a place that I
can move on. I'm in a place where I can
get my own place. I'm I mean, it might not

(18:44):
be the place I want to live with forever, but
I can get there. I can be there. I can
do this. Think about it. What is holding you back
from finally looking at your life with independence? What is
holding you back from finally taking the reins of your
own life and saying, screw this. I don't want to
do this anymore. Okay, I'm not doing this dance with
you anymore. I'm not playing this game with you anymore.

(19:05):
I'm not going to do it. And that's where I
want everybody that's listening to this podcast, if it's you
in this relationship where you know those fears have taken over,
I need you to start backing off from the drugs
and alcohol. And some of you are gonna have to
do it overnight, okay, because the other person in this
toxic relationship is not gonna be happy when you get sober,

(19:27):
because they know, once sobriety hits for you, you're not gonna
be in this anymore. You're gonna see it for what
it really is. You're gonna see the toxicity. You're gonna
see the games that are being played. You're not gonna
be able to lie to yourself anymore. You're not gonna
believe the future faking anymore. Okay, like future faking only

(19:49):
continues when you are drinking or drugging, future faking because
eventually you look at it and you go, hey, you've
been saying that for four years and nothing's come to pass.
I'm holding on with baited breath over here, hoping that
this is going to come to pass, and it hasn't.
And guess what. You know what, it's never going to happen.
That dream that they sold you a long time ago,

(20:12):
it isn't going to happen. You have to let that go.
And the only way you can let that go is
living in clarity, living in reality, living in sobriety. That
is the only way to let it go. Okay, And
I understand because I've been there where you're dealing with
all this stuff in your life and you're really sad

(20:34):
and people aren't being totally honest with you or transparent
with you, and you're getting sad about it, and so
you go have a glass of wine or you go
have a drink, and then you get sadder about it
and you have another glass of wine or you have
another drink, and that doesn't work because it makes things bad. Right,
you get super emotional and you're not seeing things clearly

(20:56):
when you need to be seeing. Hey, okay, let's look
at the track record. Let's look at the you know,
let's look at the profit loss. Okay, this person's been
saying this for how long and it's never come to fruition.
It's never once happened. It's never once happened. So when
is it ever gonna happen? Okay? That's the key. And
if you can pull back from the alcohol and drugs

(21:17):
every time that person brings that up, because they bring
it up to pull you back in. Oh, it looks
like somebody is starting to get when that I am
really not who I say I am, or the mask
is coming off. They might be seeing it, or they
seem to not be falling under my spell, you know,
because narcissists create the spell. Where you're you feel like
you're under some sort of witch's spell. And I believe

(21:40):
that that's part of it. You know, it's a sinister
type thing. It's sorcery, but it can only be aided
and embedded by alcohol and drugs and sex. Okay, if
you stop having sex with them, because sex is not
They're not having sex because they love you. They're having
sex to manipulate you. They don't really want, that's not

(22:00):
what they want. They use sex to get your money,
to get you to help them, and to pull you
in and snare you back in. That is the key, Okay,
that's the key. That's the key to the whole deal.
It's the key to the kingdom. As long as you
realize that every time you have sex, you're giving them
your power. Basically, that's what's happening, okay, And that's why

(22:21):
you know. They have sex with you when there's an argument,
they have sex with you, you know, when there's drugs around.
You know, oh, I'll do all these things when this
toff's here, you know, and they program you, and so
you start providing all this stuff because you want this.
But see, the thing is, you'll have sex, but then
right after that you go right back into the messed
up toxic soup that is this relationship. And so if

(22:45):
you can pull back from the alcohol and drugs too,
you can also pull back from the sex because you
start seeing through the sex. I'm just giving you the tools.
I'm giving you the glasses, the honesty glasses, the truth glasses,
the anti toxicity glasses that you need. And those glasses
are called sobriety. Okay. Now, I'm not saying you can't

(23:06):
ever have a glass of line. Okay, ever, now that's
not what I'm saying. But if you're going to do it,
do it in a joyful thing, Do it in a celebration,
Do it in a happy time. Do it when things
are working out in your life. Eliminate it when things
are not working. Remember, it's all about how we feel,
and it's all about what's happening. And the only thing

(23:26):
that we have to, like you know, to safeguard ourselves
is to see the truth. When we don't accept the
truth and we're living in a lie and we're allowing
someone else's lie to basically make up our life, we're
no longer living in our reality anymore. We taken a

(23:47):
back seat. So if you're in a relationship and I
need you to hear I need you to hear me.
If you're in a relationship and you've been buying into
future faking, and you've been buying into a narrative that
this other person has told you, Oh, this is gonna
be our life, and we're gonna do this and that
and this and that, we're gonna have babies or or
I'm gonna be this, you know, big time lawyer, or

(24:08):
I'm gonna do this or that or this or that,
and you're buying into that whole thing. Or you're thinking
about being married to this big time lawyer, or you're
thinking about having all these babies and or whatever it is.
But none of that's come to fruition. You know, none
of it's come to fruition. She's never gotten off a
pill and not planning on it. You know, we haven't
even finished law school or even gone to law school.
You see them saying, like, all these things are a

(24:31):
problematic situation. And you also have to look at people,
even if they have their ducks in a row with
certain things. Is this the person you want to have
babies with, even if they have gone to law school?
Do you really is it the person? Is this the
person you really love? Or is it just the idea
of being married to this hot powered lawyer? Right? And

(24:53):
I want you to think about that, because one, they're
not a high powered lawyer yet. Two, you know, you
got all this other stuff going on. Three, you're buying
into this future faking in four let's just say it
does happen. Is this really the love of your life?
Or is this is just a narrative that you're buying into.
I'm gonna have this power or this wealth. And I
do need you to sit back because remember, alcohol and
drugs color things in a way that is kind of sidious, right,

(25:19):
It colors things in a way that you know, you
think about it. You've had alcohol where you're at a
party and you're hanging out, you drink too much and
you feel like all these people are your best friends.
They don't even know you, they don't even know you.
You know what I'm saying, Like, you can have drugs
and you can take drugs and you can hang out.
You can hang out with people and take a bunch
of drugs and think that they you know, they you know,

(25:39):
they're my best friend. Oh my god, this is my
best friend. No, they don't. They are not your best friend, Okay.
And so drugs and alcohol can make us believe things
that are not true. Drugs and alcohol can make us
believe things that are inaccurate. And that's where I want
you to think about it is if you can step
back from having that in your life, you can see
through the narratives, you can see through the manipulation, you

(26:03):
can call out the gas slighting. You don't have to
question yourself anymore because you can see it for what
it is. And that's something that I am. I'm personally doing.
I don't talk about things that I'm not currently doing
and I'm not doing. Sobriety is key. This is key
to your happiness. It is key to solving your issues.

(26:23):
It is key to seeing your truth. And the more
that you can get there, and the more you can
work to get there, it shows your body that you care.
It brings more self esteem to you. It makes you
feel better about yourself because you're doing something good for yourself.
And guess what you're you're finally realizing kind of you know,
the situation that's over you. It's like apartheid. You know,

(26:44):
you're like you're like being pushed down and beaten down
by the alcohol and drugs, and you're also buying into
the false reality that this other person is telling you,
or you're buying more into your false reality believing, Oh,
I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life,
or I'm never gonna have somebody drink, drink, drain, drink, drink, drink.
Oh I'm gonna be solon and I better hold on
to this person for deer, for deer life, because I'm

(27:07):
not gonna have anybody drink, drink, drink, smoke some weed, whatever,
and keep affirming that horrible negative narrative that's not true.
Anybody can find anybody. You will find somebody, don't worry
about it. But you're not gonna find somebody if you're
tangled up in a major toxic relationship doing a bunch
of drugs and alcohol. First off, you're tangled up. You
got no time because you're too busy dealing with the

(27:28):
toxicity too. Anybody that's healthy is going to see this
shit and they're gonna see it as a shit show
that it is, and they're gonna run if they're healthy,
because they don't want to deal with drugs and alcohol addiction. Okay,
they're gonna run, they're gonna see you, they're gonna love you,
they're gonna care about you. But this is a big
red flag, okay. And so you're already dealing with the

(27:49):
toxicity of the current relationship, right, And so you don't
have a lot of bandwidth too. You know, you're already
like in PTSD mode. And three you're on drugs and alcohol.
Not a good combination. It's the only way to really
move on is to first let go of the drugs
and alcohol. Right, This is step one. Two, get sober
for a while. Three, see your spouse significant others who

(28:12):
they really are. Four eliminate the future faking and see
them as not being honest with you. Five. Stop buying
into the narrative. Six, start seeing your value, Start putting
out there, start seeing your value. Start working on yourself. Seven,
start building up your self esteem. Eight, Realize there is
somebody for everybody. And nine start building up yourself seeing
your own self worth. And when you're clear headed, you

(28:35):
can move on with grace and ease. Right, this is
the key. I hope that this has helped you. Please
share this with anybody going through this because if they're
going through it, they're going through a very tough time
in their life. They're not they're missing themselves. They're lost
themselves right, and they're in a situation that the quicker
they can get out of it, the quicker they can

(28:55):
find themselves, the quicker they can actually find truth, honesty,
and unconditional love away from the circus and addiction. Check
out the YouTube channel go to life coach Ashley Burgess.
Check out the channel. If you can, please subscribe new
video content up at least twice a week. If you'd
like to work with me, go to Ashley Burgess dot
com go to the coaching page and just click on

(29:18):
it and set up a time right there. I look
forward to working with you. I look forward to meeting
with you. And in the meantime, thank you for tuning
into the podcast and you've heard another live episode of
the Ashley Burgess Podcast. Stick with me. I'll see you
next week. Have a great afternoon. Don't forget to live
your true life.