Ridiculous Crime

Wherever you find people competing for a prize, if the number of them grows large enough, eventually, you will have cheaters. In the niche worlds of competitive stone-skippers, hog hunters, and British trivia shows, Zaron and Elizabeth ferret out some ridiculous examples. Let the games... and the crimes... begin!

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This heist team was more meticulous than most. They planned, they schemed, they made years of dry runs and observations. And the plan went off without a hitch. After the plan? Not so much. In a sort of early Stanford Marshmallow Test, these crimers just couldn't delay gratification. And for that, they paid the price.  

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In this round-up of recent tales of fakers, fraudsters, and phonies, Zaron shares with Elizabeth a smorgasbord of stories of fake bears, phony medical emergencies on Mount Everest, and a fraudulent influencer abduction to get at the truth of why we can't trust anything any more. And get this: no AI was involved in this episode.

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Randy Lanier started as a construction site weed dealer and over the years graduated to major drug smuggler, bringing hundreds of tons of grass into the USA. To add to the risk factor, he also became a Formula One driver and team owner. So much fun! Until it wasn't.  

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He was a man born into crime. He came from a family of British hard men. Movies were made about the men of his family. He was also enraptured by the criminals he saw depicted in other crime classics. All of this combined to make him a nepo baby of crime. But John McAvoy surprised the world and himself when he forged a new identity, thanks to a rowing machine. 

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It takes money to make money. And sometimes, you take someone else's money to make your money. You know how that goes. Marc Dreier was a flashy lawyer with a cash problem. Luckily, he had rich clients to impersonate. Problem solved! 

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Sometimes you fight the law and the law wins, but other times... luck is on your side and you win. That's the story here today. A pair of treasure hunters go to extraordinary lengths to recover lost gold and then have to fight the law to win the rights to their find. And as always things get... ridiculous!

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London in the late 1600s was a little chaotic. So it only makes sense that an agent of chaos like Mary Carleton would become famous for her crimes. Crimes like repeated bigamy and stealing pants in the night. An audacious woman determined to chart her own path, she wrote her own pamphlets like some olden times Riot Grrrl and made herself a witness to history along the way. 

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Whether we're talking the hand of Mary Magdalene, the Skull of St. Foy, the Bones of St. Mark, in the Dark Ages holy relics were ripe for the taking. Thieving monks, conspiring bishops and rebel princesses all went to outrageous lengths to secure the blessings of the bones and body parts of the saints. Sometimes crime requires a little faith. 

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John Ernst Worrell Keely was a blue collar scientist, a visionary, a meticulous con man. He spent time and talent rigging an elaborate fraud workshop where he promised unlimited vibe-based energy. In just two weeks. He promised. He just needed a little more funding. Cash for vibes.

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This is the story of two scientists who pushed the envelope of both good taste and morality as they experimented with dolphins. The idea was simple. Give dolphins LSD and then see if we can teach them to speak English. The results were not so simple or clear-cut. But they were certainly ridiculous... and criminal. 

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Fredericka Mandelbaum (Marm or Ma, if you're nasty) was the powerful ruler of a criminal empire. Based on pickpocketing, theft, bank robbery, and forgery, her organization raked it in at the end of the 1800s in New York City and beyond. Out of reach from the law thanks to payoffs and complicity, Mandelbaum got away with her crimes, even when the Pinkertons got involved. 

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Single mom Nadine Vaujour was something of a romantic. Which helps explain why it pained her heart so to be separated from her lover. It also helps explain why, one day, she decided it was time to spring her lover from the French prison where he was locked up. And to make her daring jailbreak plan work, she learned to fly a helicopter. Ah, the things we do for love! 

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Country star George Jones was a real character, to be certain, often on the edge of the law. But the most ridiculous crimes were the ones that surrounded No Show Jones. Missing recordings, drug runs, and stolen crypto. Throw in an old pickup, a loyal dog, and a broken heart and you'd have a heck of a country song. 

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To make it in Hollywood, you sometimes have to tell some half-truths and fudge your resume. People play a little fast and loose. But not so loose as to forge checks and scam friends. That's a little too loose, even by Tinseltown standards. 

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