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March 29, 2023 • 27 mins

Tilda decides it isn't safe for her and Madison to stay in one place, and they prepare to set out in the dangerous night in order to seek out the possibility of a resistance.

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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to Stephane
Never Told You production of iHeartRadio and Welcome Once Again.
Two are once a month Sminthy fiction segment which is
ongoing Terminus, which is a story I wrote in twenty

(00:29):
ten for Dana Raimo, and we're just going to go
through it. We're just going through it. This is chapter
eight point two. Again. As I said in the previous episode,
I think it might actually be chapter seven, but something
went around. But anyway, that doesn't matter. We're in for
to chapter eight, which was a longer chapter as I
always thanks to our super producer Christina, who makes these possible.

(00:53):
If this is not your thing, I totally understand, especially
right now because it is kind of dark. So I'll
give you a quick recamp of what's happened. We've got
a virus that is wiping out the human population. It's
making it difficult for people to have children, so humanity

(01:17):
is just dying off. Any child that is born is
placed under the jurisdiction of the Board of Better Parenting,
and there's this really religious organization called arm Arm that
works with the government and they're in control of all
these things. Our main character Tilda has escaped with her

(01:37):
illegally born child, Madison. It's been seven years. They're on,
they're on, the enforcers are after them. Things aren't looking good.
They get captured, Tilda get shot, They make a daring escape,
and then they are rescued by this woman named Lynn,
who has lost a child of her own. And it's nice.

(01:59):
They get to like half pancakes and be in a
house and there's water, and they take showers and they
sleep in beds and it's really nice. But Tilda realizes
the enforcers are not going to stop looking for them
because they are priority number one case, and she makes
the difficult decision to leave. And Lynne has told her

(02:20):
about the fabled resistance in Kansas City that is perhaps
looking for a cure for HSV five and till the
decides to try to find it with very vague instructions.
So once again, this was written before I played The
Last of Us. Okay, so ahead, don't come at me.

(02:41):
I just I was telling Samantha, if you look at
a map, it makes sense when you're traveling across the country,
you would go that way. So content morning around depression, sadness,
discussions of philosoph a child to around sex, internalized ableism,

(03:02):
around disease. Yeah, totally hear you if this is not
for you right now. Also, don't yell at me if
I got the roads incorrect. Okay, I did spend an
embarrassing amount of time looking at a map and trying
to figure it out. But I just just go with it,
you knowing a suspension of disbelief. Yes, thank you. So

(03:26):
with that note, let us get into the fiction section.
Tilda left the kitchen and entered the sitting room to
find Madison on his stomach on the carpet, legs scissoring

(03:48):
as he perused what. Judging by its larger size and haft,
Tilda guest to pay a textbook social studies, Lynne Head
mouthed to her. He looked up at her, a sunny
smile breaking out on his face, his skin unmarked by
the virus like a time bomb in his blood, waiting
patiently to detonate. Sinking down next to him on the carpet,
Tilda queried, what are you reading about? Madison wrinkled his nose,

(04:10):
enunciating each syllable, clearly citizenship and civic responsibility. His response
had an unsure lilt to it despite his careful and
correct pronunciation. Tilda imagined he'd heard those words before in
different contexts and had a basic sketch up their dictionary meaning,
but no concept of what they really meant. Those things

(04:30):
meant very little to anyone anymore, especially considering they'll life
they spent trying to keep away from others and evade
the state. Did they really used to be? He looked
down at the book for guidance Holidays. Tilda glance down
at the illustrations, colorful pictures of cornucopias and jack O'Lanterns
and decorated evergreens crammed into the bottom corner of the page. Yeah,

(04:53):
she murmured. Madison swung his eyes up to meet her
as curiosity. I'll light in them. Did you celebrate them
with your family when you're a kid? Tilda situated herself
so she lay on her stomach next to Madison, her
fist propping up her chin. I did, sort of. My
mother used to cook some of the traditional foods, read
me stories. If she could find music, she'd play it.

(05:15):
She trailed off, reminiscing holidays have been fading away for
a while. By the time Tilda was introduced to them.
There were no days off, no decorations, just small family
celebrations by those that remembered and cared, usually those lucky
enough to have children. Wow. Tilda gave Madison a thoughtful look,
smiling a little at his amazement. Maybe we'll have one

(05:36):
of our own little holidays someday when we find somewhere.
Madison craned his neck, frowning. We have found somewhere, haven't we,
dreed unfurling in her gut, Tilda took hold of his
tiny hand, such a small hands, and gentled her voice. No, mouse,
I can't stay here. His face fell, hazel eyes glistening.

(05:58):
Why not? Why can't we day, she sighed, hating this.
The enforcers know we're somewhere around here. They'll find us eventually,
But we could hide. Madison pushed himself to his knees.
Tilda did the same, and they'd leave an attractive possibility,
but Untilda's view an unlikely one. They were relentless. We

(06:19):
can't they won't stop. Lynn has done enough for us.
We can't put her in danger any longer. Madison's lip trembled,
his eyes glassy and wide. I'm sorry, Tilda, whispered. I
know you want to stay. I do too, but we
have to leave tonight, tonight, Madison repeated, tears escaping and

(06:43):
spilling down his pale cheeks. Yes, we're going to pack
a few things, get some warmer clothes, and leave when
it gets dark. Madison sniffled, wiping his face at the
back of his hand. But what about your leg I'll
be fine, she assured, but we'll have to be very careful.
They'll be looking for us overcome. Madison covered his face

(07:07):
with his hands, shoulders quaking. Tilda scooted closer, looping her
arm around his shoulders and pulling him to her. I
don't want to leave, he sobbed, his words mangled, I know, Tilda,
suit this hair, please. Tilda didn't couldn't respond to that.

(07:29):
After a while, when his crying subsided, Tilda told him.
Linde says there's a place. There might be a place,
she amended, But people like us hiding from enforcers close
to hear that's where we're going, okay. Madison showed no
sign of hearing her for a moment, but then he
nodded minutely against her chest. She sighed, almost disappointed, like

(07:51):
she'd wanted him to talk her out of it, to
give her a reason to stay. Her hand wove in
his brown hair, soft with washing, and she kissed his forehead.
You're so brave, you know that. No, I'm not, he denied, petulantly,
muffled by where his head was buried into Tilda's shoulder.
She laughed, yes, you are. They sat in silence for

(08:14):
a long moment, both dreading the night that lay before them.
You should take a nap, Tilda informed him softly, but
he resisted. No, it's my last day here. I don't
want to spend it sleeping. You need to get some
rest before tonight, she said, reasonably, but she didn't have
it in her to make him. I'll rest while read,
he promised, earnestly, the vestiges of sadness starting to disappear. Caving,

(08:37):
Tilda let him return to his book, laughing at the
exaggerated concentration he directed at it, ruffling his hair affectionately.
Tilda stood Cobwebs of exhaustion crowded her own mind, but
she fought them off. Heading down the hall to check
on Lynn, she stopped at the doorway, watching Lynne was
sorting through clothes methodical, neatly folding the items that passed
inspection and placing them in a midsized black back back.

(09:01):
She startled, catching sight of Tilda at the door. Embarrassed,
Tilda ask, can I help you with anything? No, dear
Lynde said firmly. Why don't you lie down for a bit?
Or you might want to try some stretches for your leg.
I'll get you when it's time for lunch, and then
while take a look at them, map to figure out
your best root. Tilda pause for a moment before nodding
an assent, heading to the room she'd been sleeping in

(09:23):
and set about stretching her leg. She found her dexterity
to be slightly hindered, only a few winces making it
to her face. Her muscles relaxed and she yawned, reclining
to lay back on the floor. Her eyes fluttered close,
her chest raising and falling evenly. Colors swirled and faded
in front of her eyes. Lynde's gentle voice snapped her
out of her dose. Couldn't have made it to bed,

(09:46):
she teased, offering her hand up to help tilta to
her feet. Tilda shook, the numbness from her limbs, stumbling
after the woman who had found them and brought them
into her home. Another wide yawned, stretching over her face.
Laughter broke through the haze of half sleep during Tilda's thoughts.
Slow and useless, Lynde stood at the entrance to the
sitting room, muffling her chuckles with a hand covering her lips.

(10:07):
Tilda caught up to her, following her gaze. Madison had
fallen asleep with his face pressed into the pages of
the book Legs and arms blade. He snored quietly, face
smooth of worry and sleep. Like his mother he is.
Lynne quardled kneeling next to him and gently grasping his shoulder,
shaking him to wake him. Madison jerked awake. He looked up,

(10:28):
blinking alishly, cheek creased and hair Must I fell asleep,
he slurred, rubbing his eyes. Yes you did, Lynne agreed,
good naturedly. Now it's time for lunch. Are you hungry?
Madison blinked a few more times, face blank, then he nodded,
getting to his feet clumsily. A plate of toast, boiled eggs,
and salad awaited them. Glasses of water and silver ware

(10:50):
already set, The meal was noticeably more subdued, all three
preoccupied with the coming goodbye, the knowledge that they most
likely would never see each other again, casting a pall
over them. Madison only ate half of his plate before
he pushed it away, hands in his lap and hiccuping softly,
Lynne cooed an endearment, abandoning her own food to wrap
her arms around the thin boy, murmuring into his ear

(11:12):
and rubbing his back the contents. Untilda's stomach curdled as
she watched them helpless, a stranger intruding on something private.
Lynne started to sing, softly, rocking Madison. Tilda couldn't remember
the last time she'd done that for him. She washed
a stone, something eroding inside her. The need to apologize
overwhelmed her, but she couldn't make herself speak. Lynne finished

(11:34):
her song, Madison's crying turning into tiny sniffles. The woman
eased the boy back so she could look into his eyes.
It'll be all right, dear, you'll see. You just have
to be brave and do what your mother says. Her
smile wavered but held, and Madison nodded dutifully. Good boy.
She praised now hop down and go rest up. I'm

(11:55):
going to pack some rations for you and your mom. Listlessly,
Madison slip from the woman's lap and disappeared into the
setting room. Lynne cleared the table, bending their uneaten food
to Tilda. She said, I have some granola bars, fruit almonds.
She rifled around her cupboards. Not much else that will
travel well. I'm afraid water, of course, Tilda swallowed, breaking

(12:17):
herself free of the numbness. It's plenty, she assured Lynne,
her voice delicate. Thank you. She knew the simple phrase
could not convey all the sincerity she felt, nor encompass
all Lynn had done and was doing for them. If
not for you, I might have died, and Madison it
did not bear thinking about. She closed her eyes, banishing

(12:39):
what might have been from her mind. Thank you. Lynde
started to brush off the apology as unneeded, but drew
up short at the expression on Tilda's face. They held
each other's gaze for a long moment, the woman deprived
of her child and the lost mother. Lynne nodded, accepting
her gratitude. Lynn abruptly turned and busied herself, stacking items
on the cor She faltered with the bottles of water,

(13:02):
knocking one to its side. She took a deep breath
and pressed her palms into the countertop. Tilda watched and passively,
you take care of that child. Lynne's roy shook with
the depth of her emotion, but otherwise was quite firm, commanding,
Even it goes against everything, I have to let you
both go. You promise me that I won't regret it.
Promise me you will put him above everything else. Behind

(13:26):
the glasses, her eyes glinted fixed on Tilda, looking for
any sign of weakness, any reason to keep her from
taking Madison and leaving. I promise, Tilda said, unyielding. I
am nothing without him. Lynn nodded curtly. Good. She strode
past Tilda and down the hall, returning with the backpack
she'd been folding closed into earlier, and began to fill

(13:48):
it with the assortment of snacks she'd put together. Briskly,
She said, I've set aside some warmer clothes for you
both to put on before you leave. The sizes might
be a bit on the large side, but I won't
have you out gallivanting in the coal with the rags
that you showed up in. Tilda smirked at that. Once
the last of the rations were packed away, Lynne went
over to a set of drawers next to the door,
fishing around until she located a map. She unfolded it

(14:11):
and spread it out on the kitchen table, smoothing it
with her hands. They both leaned over the square where
Tepeka lay, tracing the criss crossing blue and red lines
to Kansas City. The quickest route is to take I forty,
Lynn said authoritatively. But it is also the most likely
to have enforcers patrolling it. Unfortunately, I don't think you
have much of a choice. There aren't much in the

(14:31):
way of roads out there, or at least not once
that don't dead end or turned into dirt roads in
the middle of nowhere. She glanced up to see if
Tilda disagreed, but Tilda concurred it'll be easier to follow, definitely.
With a nod, Lynn continued, Now, to get there, you
take sixth Avenue East up until you get to Ice
seventy exit east, and from there it's a straight shot
to Kansas City, about sixty miles. Sounds simple enough, Tilda said,

(14:56):
a little wary, leaning over the map, doing a quick
catalog of the cities crossed through in case they needed
to replenish supplies, the number of bridges, the number of rivers.
Lynne snorted, or adjusting her glasses. Tilda hunched forward, trying
to memorize the mess of lines and symbols, but knowing
that it wouldn't matter out there, cold and hungry and
hunted when it didn't look like a map, but an

(15:17):
unending river of gray blurring with the sky at the horizon.
Where do we go once we get to Kansas City?
Lynne shook her head. I don't know. Any decent resistance
wouldn't advertise its existence if the enforcers couldn't find it.
What hope did she have? Like I said, Dan mentioned
the Liberty Memorial, But I don't know where's that, Tilda ask,

(15:40):
figuring it was worth knowing. Lynne hunched over the map,
muttering under her breath. Ah. She japped the map with
her finger. Here to the south, Take I thirty five
down until you get to the Broadway exit. After that
there should be signs. Maybe you'll see it. I have
no idea how big it is. Tilda nodded, running her
hand through her hair. It was something she'd just have

(16:02):
to hope there'd be some sign that this resistance existed
in the first place. A lot of this plan relied
on hope. I'll give this to you, Lynne decided, folding
up the map and slipping it into one of the
pack's pockets. She sighed at a loss out there was
nothing to do but wait. She wrung her hands together,
staring out the window. Tilda gave lynne shoulder a short squeeze.

(16:23):
Going to check on Madison, she found him curled up
on the floor, staring ahead despondently. She knelt down beside him,
stroking his hair. He didn't acknowledge her presence, but at
the very least it made her feel better. There was
nothing to say. Tilda deigned not to tell Madison about
the possibility of a cure. Somehow explaining it to him
would make it seem more like a pipe dream, and

(16:46):
if it turned out not to be true, at least
he wouldn't have had his hopes crushed. And maybe a
small part of her still wanted Madison to think she
knew what she was doing. As her thoughts meandered, she
pondered the possibility that this was an elaborate trap, a
were set up by the enforcers to lure stragglers with
the hope of a haven and ensnare them. They would
have to exercise the level of caution beyond their norm

(17:08):
and hope that this resistance existed. They'd also have to
be careful not to need the enforcers to this resistance,
given that she and Madison could find it. A soft
pattern gradually caught her attention. It was raining Tilda side
to herself. Lynne entered the room, her face grim, let
me check your brandages one last time. Grateful for the

(17:29):
distraction from increasingly dark thoughts, Tilda stretch true leg out
on the carpet, turning her knee in to give Lynne
better access to the wound. The woman knelt next to her,
casting a word glance to Madison, who had yet to move. Gently,
she pulled back the bandages on Tilda's calf, revealing a jagged,
pale pink cut about the sides of her index finger,
the ends of black stitches evenly spaced across it. Lynne

(17:52):
examined it, cutting in approval. It's on the end. I
would recommend that you stay off it, but under the circumstances, well,
just do the best you can the stitches should dissolve
by themselves in a few more days. Masson turned slowly
and propped himself up then to get a look at
the injury. Does it hurt at all? Lyne's professional voice
conveyed her pass as a doctor. Masson leaned in closer,

(18:15):
his face pale. No at the skeptical look on Lynde's face,
she rushed to assert, it doesn't just runches a bit
if I move it too fast or put too much
weight on it. Lynde reminded her of her mother, just then,
able to make her see the flaws in her own argument.
Without a word, the woman sighed, rewrapping her leg, telling
Tilda that keeping it covered was more of a precaution now,

(18:37):
but to do her best to keep it clean and
not do any acrobatics. To Madison, she said, in a
mock stern voice, you watch her and make sure she
doesn't do anything silly, right Madison, Instead of the smile
and had hoped to coax from him, Madison nodded seriously,
his gaze still transfixed on the now covered wound. Lynde
continued valiantly, the faulter, in her tone, hardly knows bow

(19:00):
I packed a first aid kit and some basic medicines
in your bag, just in case anything comes up. How
do you fit everything in there? Am I going to
be able to lift it? Tilda teased, grinning when Lynde
swatted at her. Madison, however, would not be dissuaded from
his dark mood. What will I do if you get
hurt again? He roughened his voice to hide his fear,

(19:22):
but both the women could easily detect it. His voice
tightened and he continued, what if you die? What will
I do? Then? He was blinking far too much, the
anxiety and plaintive note making him sound younger. He had
never asked this question before. On their long journey, they
had both sustained their fair share of injuries and illness,
but nothing serious enough for Madison to believe that Tilda's

(19:45):
life might be in danger. Many times Tilda had feared
for Madison's, which most likely was a combination of knowing
the risk and understanding the concept of death, and mixed
with the fact that Tilda didn't know what illnesses looked
like in children and had no one to ask about it.
It had probably ever occurred to him, or at least
not in a manner that caused him to entertain it
as a serious possibility. The possibility of Tilda's death had

(20:07):
probably never really occurred to Madison, but now well, she imagined.
She had looked pretty horrific, stumbling down the road outside
Lynde's house, blood running down her leg, not talking or
even listening to the child, reduced to crawling until she
finally collapsed. Clearing her throat, she said, I won't How

(20:28):
do you know, Madison demanded angrily. She could have lied,
but she didn't. I promise, I will do everything I
can to never leave you. That appused him somewhat, but
he pushed, but what if you do? Trying and failing
to keep her answer even Tilda responded, you go with

(20:48):
the enforcers. Madison's mouth fell open, his face one of
utter betrayal. Lynne looked shocked. Listen to me, Tilda instructed,
taking hold of his upper arms. Is not safe for
you to be out in the wilderness alone. She almost
fumbled at the word wilderness. But wasn't that what it was? Now?
Buildings are not. It was a dangerous, an abandoned world

(21:09):
in which they roamed. The enforcers. Won't hurt you? I'd
rather you be alive with them than alone and dead.
Madison stared at her, unmoving. But they want to take
me away from you. Gaining momentum, he expanded, they shot you.
I won't be there, She reminded him quietly. It's me

(21:30):
they want to hurt, not you. Why because you are
a child. I am the one that broke the law.
You have done nothing wrong. Petulantly, he argued, I've helped you.
It doesn't matter. You're a child. You didn't know any better,
she added mentally, But he struggled for words, his young

(21:52):
mind grappling with concepts that most adults couldn't come to
terms with. You were a child once. That brought a
tiny smile to tell his lips. I'm not anymore. I
can't go with them, he insisted, Yes you can, Tilda
told him firmly. All of this is to stay away

(22:13):
from them, He cried, Confused, everything I know, he crossed
his arms. Then why don't we just stay here or
let them catch us? If I'm supposed to go with
them anyway, if you're not around, because I am around,
Tilda said, patiently, And I don't plan on going anywhere.
I don't understand he admitted, with a shadow of shame.

(22:35):
They'll hurt me. They didn't care that I was sick.
They were stopping to get you medicine, Tilda said, in
a rough whisper. But they didn't care, he lowered his voice.
They didn't care that I need you. Tilda had no
comeback for that. She couldn't find words to make him understand,
and worse, she wasn't sure she wanted to. Was life

(22:57):
more important than happiness? Than mere question had her stomach churning.
It was, of course, there could be no happiness without life.
Madison's inability to grasp this was her own fault. She
had spent their entire lives keeping him from the enforcers
in a rejective way. It was one of the main
tenants of his life, a truth he'd learned and lived by,
a constant and one of the few. Hazel eyes stared

(23:20):
at her searchingly, as if right through her. I'll die,
he said, simply, factually, and his words cut right through her.
I'll die without you. The fight to maintain composure was
one Tilda was losing behind Madison. Lynne covered her mouth
with her hands, swallowing thickly and taking several studying breaths,
Tilda said, you can't think like that, but it's true.

(23:46):
Tilda side rallying, It's not you think like that now,
but you're stronger than you know. Madison looked away, tired
of the emotional conversation. Just don't die, okay. With a
shaky laugh, Tilda promised, I'll do my best. She reached out,
cupping his cheek, bending forward to place a kiss on

(24:07):
his forehead. The rain continued to fall, rivulet streaming down
the glass pane window, and darkness encroached, arriving quicker due
to the clouds of scaring the sky. Lynne spoke up
from behind them. Madison, you are more important than you
know to all of us. You need to do as
your mother says and stay safe above all else. Are

(24:28):
there more people like you out there? He asked, turning
to her. Yes, Lynne murmured, But we are spread far
out these days. Maybe I could find you again, he said,
hopeful and tearful. Tilda's heart clenched with a sad smile,
then said, I would like that very much, but don't

(24:50):
try to find me if it puts you in danger.
Chin wobbling, Madison nodded good Lynne patted his head. Now
she stood at knees popping. Would you like to pick
out a book to take with you? Rubbing his eyes,
Madison crawled over to the bookshelf, tracing his finger along
the spines. After some deliberation, he pulled out a medium

(25:11):
sized book. He held it up to Lynde, who took
it from him with a warm grin. I'll just pack
this up for you, all right, dear, okay, he said.
Lynne left and the waiting recommenced. Madison pulled another book
off the shelf and approached Tilda attentively. Will you read
to me? Of course? Tilda took the book and Madison

(25:32):
curled up next to her. The book opened with a crack,
pages yellowing, and she started to read, both of them
savoring this moment, the small oasis of normalcy, of safety,
before all too soon they were tossed back to his
sea of danger and the unknown. And that brings us

(26:10):
to the end of this part two of chapter eight
of Terminus. Since it was a longer chapter, I don't
really want to go into things too much. I did
want to say that, you know, there's kind of the
themes throughout of like doing anything for your child. There's

(26:31):
the line I'm nothing without him, which I was just
telling Samantha. It's kind of something in me was like
this this game The Last of Us is going to
come out later and they're gonna have the same lines.
It's gonna really change things. Be there for you. And also,
just like a lot of examples of trauma in this chapter,
this was a very kind of reflective chapter on trauma

(26:56):
and Madison being dependent on Tilda, Madison being like, oh
what would I do if I lost you? Until the
already showing that behavior. So we shall see where it
goes in the next chapter. But in the meantime, thanks
as always for coming along this journey with us. I

(27:16):
thinks as always to our superproducer Christina. If you would
like to find us, you can. You can email us
at Stephanie mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can
find us on Twitter at momso podcast, or on Instagram
and TikTok at stuff I Ever Told You, or on YouTube. Yes.
Thanks as always too, superproducer Christina who makes this happen. Yes, amazing, Yes,

(27:39):
and thanks to you for listening stuff Whatever Told Protection?
I Hurt Radio for more podcast in My Heart radio.
You can check out that Hurt Radio, Apple podcast already
listen to your favorite shows.

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