How Billie Eilish Really Felt About Her Blonde Era

Billie Eilish is looking back on her blonde era and it wasn't what it seemed. In a new interview with the LA Times, the Grammy winner revealed she was going through a rough time when she decided to switch out her dark hair for a bleach-blonde look, in hopes of finding "contentment."

“2019, that period of my life when I dyed my hair green, I was completely unstoppable,” Eilish told the Times. “I felt like I was on the moon. And I remember at the time being like, I’m finally happy. I’d never been happy before, and I just wanted to stay happy. Then a couple years happened. COVID happened. Another album happened,” she said, referring to 2021’s Happier Than Ever. “I got older and fell back into being a human and not being happy all the time — having good moments and having bad moments. Last year got really bad. And I just kept being like, ‘God, I miss 2019 so much. When can my life feel like that again?’”

Eilish decided to go blonde while making Happier Than Ever. “At first it was fun,” she said. “I was really excited for the blond era — like, Blond Billie is gonna be so cool. But it did not go how I wanted it to go. I completely had no idea who I was. I came up with this whole aesthetic, and I just got swallowed up into it."

Over time, Eilish said she's come to realize that she had been "basing all my happiness on all these things in the material world that you have no control over and that will inevitably change.” She went on to add that her latest song "What Was I Made For?" is about that dilemma. "This song has a lot to do with that. ‘I used to float’ — that’s what 2019 felt like. ‘Now I just fall down.’”