Be a communication chameleon

Avoid misunderstandings by communicating with people the way they like.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip, just like yesterday's, comes from the new book
The Remix. In this book, workplace expert Lindsay Pollock give
strategies for how wise managers can lead diverse teams. Today's

(00:26):
tip is to save ours and many headaches by becoming
what Pollock calls a communication chameleon. If you've ever felt
like you are communicating in a totally different language from
your colleagues, especially those of other generations, you are not alone,
she writes. Too many people believe that effective communication is
about communicating the way you find easiest or best. Sometimes

(00:51):
that works, but what is more important is communicating in
the way that will best be understood by the person
you want to influence. She can and use no matter
what your role or job title. If you want to
communicate across generations and all differences, you have to become
an expert on how to best communicate with the people

(01:11):
you want to communicate with. How do you do that?
It's quite simple. You ask. That's it, she writes. Here's
why asking is so wise. We can waste tons of
time and energy worrying about the best way to reach someone.
With a manager, we might wonder is it okay to

(01:32):
call or drop by, or would the person really prefer
an email? With a client. If a person doesn't respond
to an email quickly, we might wonder if everything is
okay and spend time brooding about this when the reality
is that the person is often on the road and
a quick text is the best way to get his
or her attention. Some people never check voicemail. You can

(01:53):
hate this all you want, but your unhappiness is unlikely
to reform the person's habits. So pollock reck Men's having
a conversation with anyone you communicate with regularly, ask these questions.
What is the best way to receive an answer from
you quickly? By phone, by email, by instant message, by

(02:13):
dropping by your desk? How do you give feedback? Should
you schedule a one on one? Should the person come
up with their own feedback and present it to you,
or do you like to start the conversation? Do you
like to give feedback on a regular basis or in
a more ad hawkway. What are your email preferences and
pet peeves in general? Do you prefer shorter or longer emails,

(02:36):
full sentences or bullet points or emojis? Okay, how formal
are you? Do you mind quick texts with typos? Are
you open to face timing, skyping or video conferencing when
not in the office. Finally, Pollock recommends asking about general
work habits because clashes and misunderstandings here can lead to

(02:57):
all sorts of woes. So you a morning person or
should you be left alone until you've had your coffee?
Do you like to work from home or do you
prefer to be in the office. Do you leave early
on Wednesdays to attend your kids taekwondo class? Do you
catch up and send a flurry of emails on Sunday nights?
Does the person actually expect a response on Sunday nights

(03:18):
or is this solely about his or her own convenience.
Polic studies generations in the workplace, and she notes that
sometimes the stereotypes are true. Maybe a baby boomer employee
prefers the phone, but a millennial never thinks to use
the calling function on their phone first. But there are
plenty of texting baby boomers and maybe even millennials who
prefer formal in person scheduled appointments. Just as a chameleon

(03:42):
changes color based on surroundings, a communication chameleon uses the
method and style that the other person prefers. Now, perhaps
some people listening to this think, well, I shouldn't have
to do this. People should conform to me, and you
know many people will, especially if you're in charge. But
if it's just as easy to text versus email, and

(04:03):
you know the person you're reaching out to really prefers
one of these, it's a sign of respect and understanding
to choose the best one. It strengthens the relationship, and
most of us are better off having people finding extra
reasons to like us versus annoying little reasons not to
like us. So take some time today to ask the

(04:25):
people you communicate with what they like and what they
don't and how they'd like to be reached. I promise
this little exercise will lead to huge payoffs in the future.
In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and
here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

(04:51):
I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod.
That's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.
You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast

(05:13):
is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,
I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is
a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from
I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.