Become a confident conversationalist

Anyone can learn to make small talk with a little effort

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio.

Speaker 2 (00:08):
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to become a confident conversationalist. If you
feel shy or awkward striking up conversations or chatting with colleagues,
let this be the year when you build your skills

(00:29):
so you can feel great about your interactions. During my
recent Better Workday challenge, lots of participants mentioned that they
sometimes felt uncomfortable striking up conversations with their colleagues. It
felt easier to just keep their heads down and communicate electronically.

(00:50):
So if you feel a little self conscious about chitchat,
know that you are not alone. But if you are
not developing relationships with people at work, I'd be missing out.
Connecting with your colleagues can make you more effective at
your job, and it can also help you feel happier
and more comfortable at work. So if you are feeling

(01:11):
uncomfortable or shy about connecting, here are some tips. First,
friendly questions are conversational openers. Asking someone something that invites
authentic sharing but isn't invasive is likely to start a
positive conversation, So always have some light questions ready. For instance,

(01:36):
on a Friday, you could ask people what they are
looking forward to over the weekend. On Monday, you could
ask if they did anything exciting or fun or memorable.
On any day, you could ask someone about their interests.
If you know your colleague likes to read, you could
ask her what she's reading now. If you know a
colleague likes to go out to restaurants with her daughter,

(01:58):
you could ask what they've tried recently. There's a reason
people bond over sports. There are lots of games, and
they always provide an opening for conversation. Did you see
the Grizzlies game last night?

Speaker 1 (02:11):
That sort of thing. Of course, it's also helpful to
have something ready to share. If someone asks you what
you've been up to lately, aim to choose something positive,
even if you have been dealing with an insurance claim
for a tree that fell on your roof. Talking about
that probably won't lift either of your moods, though, if

(02:32):
you've got a funny anecdote about the process, you could
tell that. In addition to choosing a topic that's upbeat,
also aim for something that gives a window into what's
important to you, as in, I've been loving this mild
weather and I've gotten back into cycling lately. Or I'm
helping my neighbor get ready for her new baby. Last

(02:54):
weekend i helped her paint the nursery, or I've been
learning Spanish lately to get ready for a trip to
Buenos Aires this spring. This will give any colleague with
reasonable social skills an opening to ask you more about
these topics. As you both share what you are excited about,
you'll be sure to find common ground. In addition to

(03:18):
in person chitchat, also try to build in connection when
you're communicating across distance. One option could be sending a
message on za zoom call to a person who you
feel has a little bit of friend potential just notice things.
You could write something like I love that painting behind you.
Is there a story behind it? It can also be

(03:39):
good to include a sentence in emails that's more personal
before you get to the main business of the message,
so something like I hope you enjoyed the long weekend.
I was grateful for the extra time to plan my
garden this spring. You don't want to make your email
ridiculously long, but offering a little tidbit about yourself can

(04:00):
foster a greater sense of connection. If connecting with colleagues
still seems intimidating, you could seek out more structure and
guidance for your efforts to become a good conversationalist. Some
people find it helpful to participate in toast Masters or
a similar group that's all about building and practicing or

(04:20):
speaking skills in a friendly environment. In any case, since
we all have to talk to people all the time,
you'd think we could do it well, but that is
not always true. Conversation is a skill like anything else.
Some people are naturally better at it than others, but
we can all get better, and getting better can make

(04:42):
work feel more welcoming and fun. In the meantime, this
is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the
most of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.

(05:03):
If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach
me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast
is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia,
please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

(05:25):
listen to your favorite shows.