Become a regular somewhere

Find happiness by going places where everybody knows your name

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of My Heart Radio.
Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is about one efficient way to add happiness
into your life. Become a regular somewhere, ideally with good company.

(00:25):
In a recent episode, we talked about adding more serendipity
into our daily schedules. This can require new inputs, but
sometimes we can boost happiness by doubling down on existing
inputs and going all in to make these a regular
part of our lives. People my age and older no
doubt remember the theme song from the TV show Cheers.

(00:48):
Cheers was a place where everybody knows your name and
they're always glad you came. It's certainly an appealing concept,
and one reason some surveys show increased loneliness is that
isolated with our cell phones, we spend less time going
to local watering holes or other places. We can become
part of a community, houses of worship, civic organizations, even

(01:12):
organized play groups for kids where parents can commiserate to gather.
We know that social ties tend to make people happier,
but when people are busy, arranging specific times to get
together can feel like a ton of work. When you
always go somewhere at a particular time, though, and other
people do too, you don't have to do the planning

(01:33):
and scheduling. You get the relationships without the hassle. And
by the way, these relationships don't have to be deep,
soul full sorts of things. Most people will, in fact
feel happier when the local postal clerk addresses you by
name and asks about your family. As with all things
in life, there has to be a balance. You can

(01:54):
become a regular at a grocery store, but maybe you're
in a stage of life we're getting groceries delivered makes
more sense. Too much sameness and routine can be a
problem too, so I prefer to look at opportunities to
become a regular somewhere that would happen about once a
week or so, rather than daily. Fortunately, there are lots

(02:14):
of opportunities for this. As I look at my life,
I can see a few places where I might become
a regular. Most days, I make my own coffee, but
I pop by my neighborhood coffee shop when I'm in
the mood for a cappuccino. There are two casual restaurants
in my area where I've realized after a lot of experimentation,

(02:34):
that everyone in my family will be happy. So when
my family is going out to dinner, we go to
those two places. Over time, you get to know individual
waiters and specials. Same for the nice adult focused restaurant
downtown where my husband and I make reservations. When we
plan to entertain people. It's nice to know exactly where

(02:55):
to park our guests introduced the novelty, we know the
venue will be good. Maybe you've got some places like
this too. Are other things you do semi regularly in life.
There's a particular teacher at your gym that you always
enjoy when you manage to get there, or there's a
lunch spot in your work that you always like when
you go. To become a regular, and to get the

(03:18):
most out of this experience, do a few things. First,
look at your schedule and see if you could build
visiting this place into your life consistently. The exercise teacher
might teach on three different days, and sometimes each of
these is a possibility, but Tuesday nights tend to work
the best. Could you commit to going the vast majority

(03:41):
of Tuesday nights? I mean, there's always a reason One
week here and there won't work. But what if you
started telling yourself that Tuesday's pilates night. You'd start constructing
your life to make it possible. And you also wouldn't
have to think about it. At least one day a week,
you'd know exactly what you do for exercise. That's a

(04:02):
great outcome, But to truly get the most out of
being a regular, don't stop there. You can invite other
people to join you. It can be casual you tell
a friend about your great Tuesday night exercise class. Or
it can be more formal. Maybe you commit to taking
a different direct report out to lunch at your favorite

(04:22):
place every Monday. You can rotate through, but you get
to know the restaurant and you build relationships. And of course,
once you've decided to become a regular, you can pay
more attention to the people who are already there. At
the restaurant, you get to know the hostess and the
wait staff. Maybe at a bar, as with Cheers, you've

(04:42):
got your own favorite bartender who you can chat with.
You notice someone else comes most Tuesday nights the same
exercise class. Since you've committed to coming, you know it's
worth introducing yourself and building at least a casual friendship.
You might not become terribly entwined with each other's lives,
but it's nice that when you're out sick for a week,

(05:04):
someone notices and says, we missed you when you come back.
So look at your life. Where could you become a regular?
When could you make that happen? Who could join you
or who would you like to meet? Answering these questions
can bring a lot of happiness to your life. In
the meantime, This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's

(05:27):
to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd
love to hear from you. You can send me your tips,
your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook,
and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's b the number

(05:49):
four then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot
me an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart
media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with
all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to
staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I

(06:10):
Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit
the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows. H