Do your happiness homework

Take charge of your own happiness, even in tough times

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to realize that you can take charge
of at least some of your happiness, even in rough circumstances.
Doing what we might call happiness homework can make life

(00:27):
feel more doable. Today's tip and several others this week
come from psychologist Sonya Lubomirski's book The How of Happiness,
A Scientific Approach to getting the life you want. Since
the dawn of time, people have wanted to become happier.
Since the dawn of time, people have also fretted that
this is a rather frivolous pursuit amidst the world's sufferings.

(00:51):
Plagues aren't new, and the world has gone through plenty
of terrible things. But it turns out that happier people
have more energy and more motivation to solve the problems
around them, enriching their communities as they feel better themselves.
So how do we become happier? Luba Mirsky identifies three

(01:11):
main influences on happiness. About half of your happiness is
due to your natural happiness set point research with identical
and Fraternal Twins finds that, as with weight, each person
has a happiness level that they gravitate towards. While that
may seem kind of depressing that half of your happiness
is completely outside your control, it can also be comforting

(01:35):
that there's nothing wrong with you if you're never as
sunny as your roommate. Another chunk of happiness is due
to circumstances, job situation, family sattus, health finances, where we live,
and yes, whether we're on lockdown to slow the spread
of a virus. What might surprise you, though, is that

(01:56):
this chunk is pretty small. And other words, if you
want to be happy, moving to the beach or getting
a twenty dollar raise may not actually be the fastest
way to get there. Instead, Lubamirski writes, if you're not
happy today, then you won't be happy tomorrow unless you
take things into your own hands and take action. That's

(02:19):
because the remaining forty of our happiness, according to Lubamirski,
comes from what she calls intentional activity. This brings us
to our happiness homework. It turns out that happy people
have specific habits. According to Lubamirski's research, they invest in relationships,
with family and friends. They express gratitude, They help people

(02:40):
they know and those they don't. They practice being optimistic,
They exercise, and they pursue goals of lasting importance. She
advises that we should spend time on what she calls
happiness work to become happier, just as we spend time
on physical training to become more fit. It makes sense

(03:00):
if you take time each day to do something such
as calling a friend, writing letters to nursing home residents,
going for a walk, or counting your blessings, you will
be happier than you would otherwise be. It's as simple
as that, So why not make time for these things?
Challenge yourself to set aside a few minutes each day

(03:23):
for these happiness homework assignments. If your kids study after dinner,
maybe you can do some of your work then too.
Or you can assign yourself happiness homework for the first
thing in the morning that will get your day off
to a great start. In the coming days, I'll share
a few of these specific practices Luba Mirski recommends for
boosting our happiness. If you want to read more, you

(03:46):
can check out her blog for Psychology Today, The How
of Happiness and her recent post how to Hold onto
Happiness when your world collapses about you guessed it, happiness
and the time of coronavirus. The good news is that
we don't need to consign ourselves to unhappiness just because
circumstances are far from optimal. Some chunk of happiness is

(04:09):
still within our control if we're willing to try. In
the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's
to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd
love to hear from you. You can send me your tips,

(04:31):
your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter,
Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the
number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can also
shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i
heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out

(04:51):
with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward
to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of
I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,
visit the I heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows. H