Find me time before everyone's asleep

One way to stop staying up so late

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to find me time before everyone in
your household is asleep. A common complaint I hear, especially

(00:27):
from parents of little kids, is that they have no
me time during the day, so they stay up late
to get it, sometimes really late, after their kids bedtimes,
after they've done the dishes and tidy it up from
the day, maybe after packing lunches or laying out clothes
for the next day. Then they stay up. But by

(00:51):
the time the kids are asleep and the chores are done,
people are exhausted and determined to have some alone time
anyway darn it, so they stay up late to get it.
And this time isn't exactly high value. People are too
exhausted to do much beyond scroll or channel sir, but
at least it's autonomous. This can continue for hours, which

(01:17):
means that the me time comes at the price of
starting the next day exhausted too. One of my foundational
time management rules is to give yourself a bedtime. Choose
a time you intend to be in bed most nights,
a time that will enable enough sleep and then go
to bed unless you have a good reason not to.

(01:40):
It seems simple, but I also know that a lot
of people resist this rule because going to bed at
a rational time feels like it might mean sacrificing time
for themselves, and so sleep deprivation is a price people
are willing to pay for me time. But here's the thing.
You don't have to choose between adequate sleep and discretionary time.

(02:04):
Sleep and me time are both essential to a satisfying
and sustainable schedule. I promise you that with a little
planning and creativity, you can have both even in a
busy life. Here are some options for how First, if
you are looking for me time while your kids are asleep,

(02:28):
it might be possible to go to bed on time
and still get up before them. Now I'm not talking
about waking up at four thirty am, please, but if
your kids are normally up around let's say six thirty am,
even getting up at five am might allow for some
higher quality me time than you will get at eleven pm.

(02:49):
Late at night, you will probably scroll first thing in
the morning. You might read something more substantial than click
bait headlines. You might write in a journal or sketch
or do another creative hobby. Go to bed earlier and
get up earlier, and have time just for you first
thing in the morning. If you commute, definitely treat your

(03:12):
commute as me time. Listen to audio books for pleasure.
Spend some time researching longer podcasts you might listen to
that is longer than this one that might make the
trip feel exciting. Don't write off the work day either.
If you can possibly take breaks, take breaks. You could

(03:35):
think about your five lunch breaks during the week as
a portfolio of fun options. Maybe two days a week
you go out to eat with colleagues, two days a
week you read during your lunch break, and one day
you do a little adventure like stopping by a nearby
park or visiting a gallery that intrigues you. I'd also

(03:57):
suggest creating a few waking, non working hours where your
kids are not in your care. If you are co
parenting with someone, come up with a formal trade off schedule.
You could take an hour after work on Monday to
do something fun, and your co parent could get an
hour on Tuesday. Maybe each of you has some fun

(04:19):
for you commitment, like a group bike ride or choir
practice each week divide and conquer, and neither of you
will feel quite so compelled to stay up late just
to feel like an autonomous person. You could also invest
in some extra childcare. If you normally get off work
at five pm and your daycare closes at six pm,

(04:43):
maybe one night a week, don't rush straight there. Go
sit in a coffee shop or in the library and
decompressed for thirty minutes before heading over. And if you
have little ones who still nap on weekends, don't do
chores during naptime. Well, at least, don't do chores first.

(05:06):
Use the first forty five minutes of nap time for
something that feels rejuvenating for you. If you were home
with little kids on weekdays, same rule. If you do
chores first, a short nap means you will get no
me time. But if you have your fun first, then
probably you will still get to the chores and bits
and pieces later, or you won't, but oh well, life

(05:30):
won't feel like such a drag. So this week, look
for ways you can find time for yourself without waiting
for everyone in your family to fall asleep. If you
subscribe to my Just a Minute email newsletter, you'll know
that I've talked recently about what I call the magic hour.

(05:51):
If you can find just one hour a day to
do something that you enjoy, life will feel entirely different.
I promise it's like magic. People often try to get
that magic hour at night, but if you can get
it during the day, you will have a lot more

(06:12):
options and a lot more energy for enjoying it. So
how can you make a magic hour for you before
your family falls asleep? If you've got suggestions of what's
worked for you, I would love to hear them. You
can email me at Laura at Laura Vanderkam dot com.

(06:33):
In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and
here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,
I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

(06:54):
me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod
that's b E the number four then Breakfast p O D.
You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
podcast at iHeartMedia dot com. That Before Breakfast is spelled
out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look
forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production

(07:22):
of I Heart Radio for more podcasts from my heart Radio,
visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows.