Give praise that works

The best compliments inspire future successes

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to give praise that works. That is,
praise that leaves the person feeling good, and that increases
the chances that the behavior will occur again. When it

(00:27):
comes to praise, there are really just two important lessons
to keep in mind, whether you're praising adults or kids
at work or in your personal life. First, you should
praise the process rather than labeling the person. It's really
easy to praise someone by proclaiming them a genius, a Picasso,

(00:49):
Ceo material or the like. Labels like these just roll
off the tongue and don't require us to think or
reflect much about the person's performance or its impact. They
can feel good in the moment, though they can also
come off as insincere or meaningless because they're so vague.

(01:10):
But there's a bigger issue than their vagueness. When we
give praise. By labeling people, we can make them less
willing to take on a challenge and risk failure in
the future. They become so attached to the label that
they're reluctant to do something that might cause them to
lose it. Psychologist Carol Dweck and her team famously conducted

(01:32):
research on the effect of praising children's effort versus praising
their intelligence. They found that kids who were praised for
success on a set of problems with words like wow,
you must have worked really hard, that is, praising their effort,
wanted to take on more challenging problems in the future.
On the other hand, kids whose intelligence was praised, wow,

(01:56):
you must be smart at this I didn't want to
take on challenging problems and perform less well. They didn't
want to try something hard for fear that they would
no longer be seen as smart. Do what concludes that
we're better off praising effort or process rather than labeling
people as having fixed traits. So rather than tell a

(02:18):
kid good job on her homeworker, you're such a math genius,
you might say that was a challenging fraction problem and
you solved it. I see you tried several different approaches
until you've found one that worked. And rather than tell
an employee that she's a great speaker, you might say,
I've heard you mentioned that presentations are stressful to you.

(02:40):
Let me tell you your preparation and practice on this
one really paid off. You spoke fluidly and made your
points clearly, nicely done. Praising the process rather than labeling
the person also works because process is within our control.
If you praise my use of multiple strategy needs to

(03:00):
solve a tough problem, or my clear communication, or my
willingness to put in the time to practice, I see
that those behaviors are valued and effective, and later, when
I encounter a similar situation, I'll be more likely to
turn to those behaviors which are within my control and
are likely to lead to good outcomes. Again, the second

(03:21):
part of giving praise that works connect your praise with
the positive impact the praised behavior had. The Center for
Creative Leadership has an approach called situation behavior Impact. This
method lets people know how their behavior influenced outcomes. Here's
how it works. For giving praise. You might say to

(03:43):
a kid, Molly, I liked how you suggested that you
and Jenny use a timer to help you take turns
with the tire swing. You each had some fun and
there were no tears or at work, Sam, you were
so well prepared for that meeting. You'd anticipated every question
our client had. Whether we land this contract or not.

(04:04):
I know you gave her a positive impression of our company.
This sort of praise is encouraging and better yet, now
just people to make equally smart choices in the future.
In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and
here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

(04:29):
I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod
that's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.
You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
podcast at i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast

(04:51):
is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,
should I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast
is a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts
from I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.

(05:14):
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