Plug into an existing group

How to have a ready-made social life

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is that if you are looking to find more
friendship and connection, plug into an existing group. You'll have

(00:23):
more ready made opportunities for socializing than if you try
to recreate everything on your own. So you may have
known some people who've moved a lot in their lives,
either because they are a family member or in the military,
or they get transferred a lot, or they just like
to start over. You may have also noticed that these

(00:45):
people tend to make friends fairly quickly. I'm sure some
of this is just survival, but it's also probably a
recognition that the quickest way to a good social life
is to plug into existing groups. People find one that
seems like a reasonable fit, and then they invest in
it consistently. No need to start things or piece together

(01:07):
groups through individual relationships. You can do that as well,
but that takes time. Existing groups do all of this fast.
These groups are probably all around you if you look.
If you are a person of faith, a good option
is to find a house of worship that seems reasonably

(01:29):
aligned with your beliefs or at least has lots of
people in your same stage of life, and then you
keep showing up better yet join the choir or the
fellowship committee or a small group, or volunteer to help
lead an outreach project. As you get together regularly with
people with whom you have something in common, you will

(01:51):
pretty naturally start making friends. Or perhaps you like volunteering
in civic engagement. There are plenty of organizations that are
oriented in this direction, like the junior league or the
rotary club, or perhaps something that's aligned with your particular politics.
Your neighborhood or apartment complex or homeowners association might also

(02:14):
have events or have committees that need to do things.
If so, start attending, Or perhaps there's a local performing
arts group or museum that has a booster association. Join
and then you can go to events and fundraisers for them, volunteer,
get involved, and naturally start spending time with other people

(02:38):
who also like the arts. And then, of course, there
are sports. If you have kids, they are a natural
way to meet people, both through their schools and on
the sidelines of their practices and games. But don't discount
joining your own team. An adult soccer team is an
existing group and when you join you will have people

(03:01):
to hang out with pretty regularly. Finding more connection doesn't
have to be hard. There is plenty of evidence that
making friends has more to do with frequency of interaction
than whether we are naturally anyone's soulmate. It's less about
finding the perfect friends or group and more about spotting

(03:23):
an appealing group and embracing it. When you keep showing up,
the existing group becomes your group, and that can make
life a lot more fun. In the meantime, this is Laura.
Thanks for listening, and here's to making the most of

(03:46):
our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've
got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at
Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast is a

(04:09):
production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit
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