Routines need a purpose

Be clear on the reason, and more flexible on the details

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to remember that routines need a purpose.
They are there to accomplish something in life, not to
exist for their own sake. I'm taking this tip from

(00:26):
a new book called The Lazy Genius Way by Kendra Adachi.
She writes about various hacks for making life easier, such
as making the same thing for dinner every Monday, or
giving everything a place. She loves routines and lazy geniuses
that take full advantage of these energy savers, but in
the book she notes that routines are on ramps to

(00:47):
somewhere else, not destinations themselves. The reason to have a
bedtime routine is to pave the way for good sleep.
The reason to have a morning routine is to start
the day in a calm and productive place. Ironically, she writes,
when you let routine be in charge, you ultimately miss

(01:08):
out on what matters. Anyway. I love routines too, but
I also love this distinction. We all know people for
whom the routine becomes the end point itself. Kids must
be in bed at precisely seven fifty five, and if
there's a once in a lifetime meteor showers starting at
eight pm, well too bad. Or a morning exercise routine

(01:29):
becomes so set that there is zero space for compromise
with family members. To take advantage of the benefits of
routine without becoming pointlessly rigid, it helps to ask a
few questions as we build habits. Most importantly, what is
the purpose of this routine? Why am I doing this
With a kid's bedtime routine? We're helping them feel safe

(01:52):
and calm and loved as they go to sleep. It's
at least partly about connection and in many cases about
sharing bedtime stories that produce a sense of wonder. So
in fact, watching that meteor shower with them could also
help them feel loved and help them feel that connection
and sense of wonder before bed. You're not staying up

(02:12):
late just because you're still getting at the deeper purpose. Sometimes,
as you pursue your purposes, it helps to remember that
routines can actually be flexible. They don't need to be
precisely time bound. For example, from December sixteen to December nineteen,
I ran at least a mile every single day. Yep,

(02:35):
that's about days in a row. And while my family
members sometimes ruled their eyes at this habit, I also
made sure that I didn't inconvenience them too much. I
was willing to run it pretty much any time of
the day, morning, noon, night. If I had insisted on
running at exactly seven am every morning, that would have

(02:56):
been pretty alienating and probably something would have happened to
make me unable to continue. But by focusing on the
purpose a small daily exercise habit, I was okay with
being a bit more giving on the details, and that
ultimately made the daily running streak possible. In any case,

(03:16):
if you're trying to build a routine into your life,
first focus on this why, as a Dachi writes, the
routine itself isn't what matters. It's simply an on ramp
to help prepare you for what does. So make sure
that you begin with what matters to you, not with
the steps to get there. Ultimately, these wisely chosen routines

(03:38):
have more staying power than those that are more militant
on the details. In the meantime, this is Laura, Thanks
for listening, and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

(03:58):
I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod.
That's B the number four, then Breakfast p o D.
You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast.
At i heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is

(04:21):
spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, I
look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a
production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from my
heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.