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February 14, 2024 4 mins

There's no point in being stingy with affection

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is to say I love you more often. There

(00:21):
is no point in being stingy with these words with
the people you love, so why not let them know.
This episode is first airing around Valentine's Day. We buy
flowers and cards for our spouses and candy for our kids,
all of which is great. It's also great to show

(00:44):
love for people in our lives every other time of year.
There are lots of ways to show love, and all
of those have their merit, but honestly, one of the
simplest ways is just to say it. I begin and
trying to consciously say these words more often with my
kids A great many years ago, particularly when my eldest

(01:06):
was starting school, I realized that it was going to
be quite easy to have the last words they heard
from me each morning be something like why aren't your
shoes in the mudroom? What do you mean you don't
have your homework? You can't wear shorts in January, or
something like that. So while I still say all those things,

(01:28):
I then try to end with love you, as in
come on you've got to get out the door to
the bus right now. Love you. I'm not sure if
they notice or care, but if any of them does
have a bad day for some reason or another, at
least their mother's parting words to them were affectionate. You

(01:48):
might try saying these little words when you part from
your loved ones too. If you are not known for
being particularly showy with emotions, you might start with some
more demonstratives texts. Send these people an emoji heart, then
you can work up to words. Your spouse and kids

(02:09):
might be surprised, but they will probably be happy to
get in I love you thinking about you text on
their lunch break. I am not sure there's a good
reason not to say I love you frequently. It's not
like it means less just because you say it more often.

(02:30):
It also isn't an invitation to downplay or write off
bad behavior. You could absolutely tell a kid the school
principle had to call me today about the incident in class,
I love you, no matter what you do. I am
also taking away your iPad until you can show that
you can be trusted to live up to your obligations
to your school community, and if you and your spouse

(02:54):
happen to be in a rough patch. Well, saying I
love you frequently is a down payment on your future happiness,
as in I love you and I trust we are
going to work this out anyway. If you are not
particularly effusive, why not use Valentine's Day as an excuse

(03:17):
to get started. Sure, the candy and hearts are all commercial,
but it feels a little more normal to talk about
love on this holiday. Then you can use that newfound
showiness to keep going. See if you can say those
little words once a day to the people you love most,
then see if you can sometimes say them more than once.

(03:42):
You just might find that you feel more loving. The
more you talk about loving people, and it tends to
be reflected, you will feel more loved as well. In
the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's

(04:03):
to making the most of our time. Thanks for listening
to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,
you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

(04:27):
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts
from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
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Laura Vanderkam

Laura Vanderkam

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