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January 14, 2023 5 mins

Rewrite your story to view disappointment in context.

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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is about a strategy you can use when
you're facing disappointment. Don't get me wrong, disappointment always stings,
but this is one exercise that can give you a

(00:23):
lot more perspective about it. I recently heard a speech
on this topic from novelist Camille Pagan. She was talking
about her career, which from the outside appears to be charmed.
She writes a novel a year, most recently one called
I'm Fine and Neither Are You. Her novels are almost
always at the top of Amazon's charts for women's contemporary fiction.

(00:44):
She has been optioned by major film companies. Definitely good
stuff for a writer. So when she said in her
speech that she wanted to talk about persistence and then
mentioned that her first novel, The Art of Forgetting, sold
for six figures at auction, I wondered where she was
going with this. This sounded more like a story of
constant success, not persistence, and maybe not too helpful for
the rest of us. But then, after telling us about

(01:07):
the six figure book deal, she shared this that first novel,
she said, sold a grand total of a hundred and
three copies. It turns out that what happened is that
she released this novel with big hopes, but she knew
little about promoting books, and various other things went wrong too.
With the publisher investing so much money in this book
and with so little to show for it, she was

(01:28):
going to have a very hard time getting anyone in
the publishing industry to take a chance on her again.
She tried. She wrote a novel and then decided it
wasn't any good, so she trashed it. She wrote another novel,
it also wasn't going to work. Finally, many years after
that first novel, she had an idea for a book

(01:48):
that was called Life and Other Near Death Experiences. Her
agents sold it to a different publisher for a much
much smaller advance than that first book, but something clicked.
It's sold like crazy. Her new publisher wanted more work
for her, and she is now a happily productive career novelist.
I asked Camille how she'd been able to keep herself

(02:10):
going through those years where she looked like she was
going to be a one hit wonder. She said that
she wrote five year plans, and she had a very
clear vision for her future. She always knew she was
going to be a successful novelist. What was happening now
was part of the story, but it was only part
of the story. It wasn't the ending. It was just

(02:31):
that low moment for the hero that any good novel
has to have, because otherwise the novel is boring. I
love this idea of having such a clear picture of
the stories later chapters that you can see that the
current one is only a plot twist on the way there. Indeed,
Camille and I later talked about how it might be
helpful for other people to try doing this exercise by

(02:52):
picturing themselves doing exactly what she was doing when I
heard her. She was up on stage giving a speech
about her life. She told the story of the setback,
but it was just a part of the story that
had a happy ending. So if you're facing some disappointment,
either professionally or personally, try to picture yourself several years

(03:13):
in the future. Picture yourself telling an audience your story.
Explain how this low moment was part of the journey.
Maybe you got laid off from your job, and your
future story you could explain that this stung, of course,
But while you were looking for something else, you began
consulting for a friend's small business on the side, and
then to gather you were able to make it so

(03:36):
big that you're now hiring tons of people, including some
of your favorite colleagues from your old company. Or maybe
you're going through a painful break up, but you could
picture yourself at your future wedding telling the assembled guests
about how, because things ended so suddenly, you were finally
amenable when your aunt offered to set you up with

(03:56):
one of the members of her running club, you had
an open mind. Good thing, because here the two of
you are exchanging your vows. I'm not saying any of
this will come true, of course, but probably something good
will happen in your future. By recasting this current moment
as just a twist in a larger narrative, you can
make yourself more resilient. You can open your mind to

(04:19):
possibilities and open your heart to see what's next. In
the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's
to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd

(04:40):
love to hear from you. You can send me your tips,
your questions or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook,
and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod. That's B the number four,
then Breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me
an email at Before Breakfast podcast past at iHeartMedia dot

(05:01):
com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.
Thanks so much, I look forward to staying in touch.
Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio. For
more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the i heart
Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

(05:22):
favorite shows.

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Laura Vanderkam

Laura Vanderkam

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