Second Cup: It's not always your job

Pace yourself through challenging times

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to realize that noticing a need doesn't
mean you have to meet it. It's not always your job.

(00:23):
In his book Tyranny of the Urgent, author Charles Hummel
wrights the need itself, however, urgent is not the call
for us to meet it. Just because you notice a need,
or just because you acknowledge a need that someone brings
to your attention, doesn't mean that you have to solve
this problem. This is true in all spheres of life.
At work, maybe a colleague is having computer issues, or

(00:46):
there's some extra service your company could theoretically offer. At home,
maybe you see a burned out light bulb in your
spouse's office, or that your son's baseball club is in
his dresser and he'll need it for practice after school.
May be the neighborhood playground could use some spiffing up,
or no one has planned anything for your mother in
law's birthday. The truth is there are infinite needs and

(01:09):
things that would make the world better, but there's only
so much that one person can do, and when everything
is your job. Sadly, nothing will really get done because
you'll be pulled in too many directions to get anything done.
So what do you do instead? First shift your mindset.
If you reflexively feel obligated to solve every problem you notice, pause,

(01:35):
ask yourself, is this my responsibility? If it is, handle it.
If it's not, Consider what would happen if you didn't
get involved. One possibility someone else will step up. The
people around you are full of talents, compassion, and ideas.
Leave some room for them to use them. Sometimes by

(01:55):
stepping back for a moment, you'll create space for their brilliance.
At times, you may decide to describe the need you
see and invite others to make a plan to respond.
If you're collaborating on a project at work that's going
to require some late nights, don't assume that you will
be the one to put them in. Instead, try staying
to your team. It looks like it's going to take
some time beyond normal working hours to get this finished.

(02:17):
How can we work to gather to find extra time
to get everything done? And rather than assuming you're the
only one who could plan your mother in law's birthday,
why not send a text to the siblings and partners groups,
saying meebi, his birthday is next week. Anybody have ideas
for celebrating, or, better yet, perhaps you ask your spouse
about the plans and then watch as the plans emerge.

(02:39):
Believe it or not, There may even be times when
you notice a need and let it go completely unmet. Sure,
the porch might be more inviting if it was swept,
but if your daughter tends to hang out there with
her friends, maybe give her time to notice the mess herself.
And if she doesn't the world will keep spinning. Don't
take it for granted that you need to swoop in

(03:01):
and meet every unmet need. Be intentional about how you
allocate your time. When we pick our battles, we might
actually win them rather than spreading the army too thin.
In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and
here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

(03:27):
I'd love to hear from you. You can send me
your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with
me on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod
that's b E the number four then Breakfast p o D.
You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast
podcast at i heeart media dot com that before Breakfast

(03:50):
is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,
I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is
a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from
I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.