Second Cup: Remember names

Names matter — here’s how to stop forgetting

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is about how to remember names. Everyone loves
to hear his or her own name, and some people
may be more naturally oriented towards remembering names than others are,

(00:26):
but everybody can get better at it, and getting better
at it is a good thing to do. Today's tip,
like some others this week, comes from Aaron zam at
Ruddy's new book, The Little Book of Life Skills. This
book features interviews with dozens of experts on how to
improve daily life. Her suggestions for remembering names comes from

(00:48):
Jim Quick, who runs quick Learning, a company that helps
with memory training. His first suggestion is to believe that
you can remember names. Telling yourself, oh, I'm not it
at names is really just about letting yourself off the hook.
You've learned all kinds of other skills that are necessary
for your job or your daily life. Learning names is

(01:11):
really about believing that other people are important. Second practice
remembering the names of people you meet as often as
you can. A good way to do this is to
repeat the person's name as soon as the person introduces themselves. Hi,
I'm Ted is followed by hello Ted, not just hello.

(01:32):
If it seems authentic to the conversation, you might ask
about the name, the spelling, or where it came from,
or why their parents chose it. Then come up with
a visual that helps you remember the name. As Ready writes,
siding quick, if someone is named Mary, you could picture
her carrying two little lambs, queuing the nursery rhyme and

(01:54):
hopefully her name in your next encounter. And then finally,
when you end the conversation, use the person's name again.
It was great talking to you, Lisa. This gives you
two opportunities to hear yourself saying the name, which will
hopefully help cement it into your brain. Just remind yourself

(02:16):
why this matters, and stop with the self defeating talk.
I'm not good at remembering names, can become I'm not
good at remembering names, Yet you can learn we all
remember things when we want to. I never used the
wrong form of there and there in my writing, so
clearly I'm able to remember details. Names are very important details.

(02:42):
They are part of being welcoming and gracious. I've seen
evidence of this at of all places. My kid's karate studio,
the instructors seem to have a policy that as soon
as any child walks in the door, even for a
first lesson, all the teachers will know and remember the
child its name, and so they do. On little Bobby's

(03:04):
first day in class, the teacher will be saying, Bobby, Joe,
Chris over to the right corner. And while I'm willing
to believe that some people have better name memories than others,
I don't think it's the primary thing people are hired
for at a karate studio. That's their karate expertise. But
it's just a work culture assumption that knowing everyone's name

(03:24):
is as important as knowing a particular form, and so
people perform to that expectation. The rest of us can too.
So today, if you are introduced to someone, make a
point of remembering his or her name and using it
multiple times in the conversation. Try introducing that person to
someone else and using the name again. Maybe make a

(03:48):
note to yourself somewhere, writing down I met Henry today
and he told me this. Over time, you will become
the sort of person who remembers names and as Dale Carnegie,
author of How to Win Friends, and influence people. Once
wrote to all of us, our own names are the
sweetest sound in any language. This matters. We know it does,

(04:13):
so we can get it right. In the meantime, this
is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the
most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear
from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook

(04:37):
and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod. That's b E the
number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can also
shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i
heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out
with all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward
to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of

(05:03):
I heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio,
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