Second Cup: Work your way to yes

Slowing down a decision may improve your chances

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to introduce a request slowly to increase
your likelihood of getting to yes. When the immediate answer

(00:25):
to your request would be no. Slow things down so
the other person can't get used to the idea. Then
when the time is right, you might get the answer
you're looking for. Anyone who has been on the receiving
end of a big fundraising request knows that you are
not going to get asked by email directly for a

(00:47):
big amount. Instead, there is an email about setting up
a phone call. The phone call is about inviting you
to an event the organization is hosting. There, you'll get
to meet a few people who might follow up for
lunch later, and well, you see where this is going.
By slowing down the process, the fundraiser is increasing the
chances that you will see how wonderful the organization is

(01:10):
you will want to support it. You are working to yes.
What works for fundraising often works in the rest of
life too. Let's picture a couple where one party wants
a dog and the other does not. Simply asking is
going to result in a no, but slow acclamation could
be a different matter. Perhaps Party A suggests taking the

(01:34):
neighbor's dog for a walk on some sunny afternoon. Then
when that goes reasonably, party A suggests dog sitting for
the weekend while the neighbor is out of town. Then
a second time a few months later. Somehow you've become
the sorts of people who frequently have a dog in
the house. Then once that's all happened, party A might

(01:57):
ask party B to simply think about it for a
week before giving an answer. Now, these baby steps might
still not work, but the slow groundwork has increased the chances.
The same approach might work with let's say remote work.
Perhaps your workplace has brought everyone back to the office
full time, but you'd like to return to remote work.

(02:20):
Instead of asking for that flat out and getting a
knee jerk no from your boss or HR, you might
lay the groundwork, talk about how productive you were during
the pandemic and show documentation of that at your review.
Then you asked to work from home on a day
when you are expecting an appliance delivery. On that day,

(02:41):
you accomplish a lot of high profile work. Maybe a
week later you bring up working remotely one day a
week for a two month trial period. Your boss doesn't
have to answer for forever Right now, she is just
agreeing to a conversation in two months about it. When
no disasters in sue, you can ask for more in

(03:02):
two months. Slowly you make your way to yes. Now.
It is true that with some requests you may not
be able to accrue lots of little yesses before you
ask the big question, But even then it can be
wise to delay the response to your request. For instance,
maybe you want to share an out of the box
idea with your boss. Instead of bringing it up and

(03:26):
getting a no right away, ask if you can just
share an idea with the promise that she will think
about it for a few days. Who is going to
say no to a request just to listen? After you
set up the meeting for five days from now, then
you share your idea. After a few days, what initially

(03:46):
seemed crazy might start to sound intriguing. So when you
have a proposal a request that you think someone's knee
jerk response would be to decline, try slowing down the process.
You can gradually build support and momentum. What would have
been a no may turn in time. Two. Yes. In

(04:11):
the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening and here's
to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd
love to hear from you. You can send me your tips,
your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter,

(04:33):
Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the
number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can also
shoot me an email at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeart
media dot com. That Before Breakfast is spelled out with
all the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to
staying in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I

(05:00):
Heart Radio. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit
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