Stop using the word "busy"

“Busy” is not a synonym for “fine.”

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to stop using the word busy. Now.
I know that busy seems like a useful way to
describe our full and active lives, but because I write

(00:23):
and talk about time, I've become aware of just how
overused that word is. Think back to the last conversation
you had with someone about how life was going. I'm
guessing the conversation with something like this, Hey, Dave, how
is your weekend? Oh, you know, busy? Or Nancy, haven't
seen you in a while? How's life? Oh, busy? Then

(00:45):
you respond with how busy you've been as well. It's
kind of funny if you think about it, and one
of the points of conversation is to find common ground.
And if both of you are extremely busy, then you
probably don't have time for each other. So what's the point.
Of course, I know people tend not to mean busy
in the sense that they have no time to talk
with the other person. It's more a statement that you

(01:06):
have a lot filling your time, which means that demand
for your time is high. And since people need you
professionally and personally life is going well. Busy tends to
mean fine, but I think it's worth striking busy as
the default response when someone asks you how life is
going first, it's not really helpful for moving the conversation along.

(01:29):
Specifics are better here. If someone asks how your weekend was,
instead of saying busy, you can say great, we tried
that new Mexican restaurant at the mall with some friends
and it was pretty good. Your colleague might volunteer that
he likes Mexican food as well, and next thing you know,
your whole team is going out to compare the different
types of guacamole at that taco stand down the street.

(01:51):
Or you find out that the neighbor you're telling this
too is friends with the owner of that Mexican place
at the mall. Next time you go, you're getting free Margarita's.
None of this might come from simply deeming the weekend busy.
I think the more important reason for getting rid of
this word, though, is that life is all about perception.
The more often we say we're busy, the more we

(02:12):
come to believe it. We start to believe we don't
have time for the things that matter to us. We
don't have time to pursue that passion project, or take
night classes or go for that promotion. We're so busy,
how could we possibly volunteer regularly, or host a book
club or all sorts of other things that would add

(02:32):
joy and meaning to our lives? And even more insidious,
When we believe that we're so busy, we can find
it hard to relax. We feel like there's always something
else we should be doing, so when downtime appears, will
fill it with whatever is right in front of us.
Probably big chunks of that stuff doesn't have to happen.

(02:53):
But try telling that to someone who's wedded to the
identity of being a busy, busy person. I know this
is easier said than done. I can stop using the
word busy easily enough, especially when people ask me about
my weekend. But getting rid of the scarcity mindset about
time that it represents is a different matter like anyone else.

(03:14):
When I'm looking at a long list of work tasks
and then i realized that, hey, my four kids all
have places they need to be in, lengthy school assignments
and whatever else, I can feel frantic. It can feel
like there isn't enough time, but time just is what
it is. I try to repeat a phrase that I
wrote into my time management fable Juliette School of Possibilities Juliette.

(03:37):
The mentor figure tells anyone who asks that I have
all the time in the world. I love these words.
I have all the time in the world. Rushing just
makes me feel rushed. Talking about being busy makes me
feel busy. It may not be true that time is abundant,

(03:58):
but we're much better off telling ourselves that because all
of time is a negotiation with others, with the clock
with ourselves. In any negotiation, we come out better when
we go in knowing we already have what we need.
Everything else is just a bonus. When time feels abundant,

(04:21):
we make wise choices with it. We revel in spending
time with people we love, and we devote any time
we can to our passions. When we feel busy, we're
less likely to do that. So try listening to yourself today.
Do you use the word busy all the time? What
are you trying to convey by that? Try being more direct.

(04:42):
If you need help, ask for it. If you have
more obligations for a day, then seems like they'll fit.
See what you can jettison, but at least for a
little bit, try getting rid of the word busy from
your vocabulary and see what happens in the meantime. This
is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the
most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to hear

(05:14):
from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook
and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's B the number four,
then breakfast p o D. You can also shoot me
an email at Before Breakfast podcast at i heeart media

(05:34):
dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all
the letters. Thanks so much, I look forward to staying
in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio.
For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the i
heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to

(05:55):
your favorite shows. A GA