Think connection, not networking

Grow your network without feeling transactional

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Today's tip is to think connection, not networking. When you
have a broad and diverse group of people who like you,

(00:26):
you can accomplish your professional goals. You can achieve those
broad and diverse connections simply by being a helpful, kind,
and engaging human being. That feels a lot better than
handing out business cards and trading favors. Today's tip, like
some others this week, comes from Ashley Stall's book You Turn,

(00:50):
Get Unstuck, Discover your Direction, and design your dream career.
Ashley is a career coach who helps people figure out
what they want to be doing in life. In her book,
she details some of her time in Washington when she
was working for the Pentagon in counter terrorism. When she
was freshly in d C. Trying to get to know people,

(01:13):
she went to networking events as one does, but it
turns out that one of the most interesting and useful
connections she made was a cab driver. He hadn't even
been her driver. What happened is that she had been
talking with a homeless man in a metro station and
giving him a granola bar, and he mentioned that he

(01:34):
knew someone who drove a cab and was often in
line at the place where she was going to a
particular event. She went and said hello to that driver
and mentioned that she talked with his friend who had
been at the station. After a while with her going
in and out of the event to talk with the driver,
who seemed a little bit more interesting than the suits
at the event. He mentioned that he sometimes drove for

(01:55):
some people at the White House and could help Ashley
get a meeting with them. Not bad right now. I
am not saying that this is what always happens in life,
and in fact it usually doesn't. But in general, connection
is a good thing. And connection is so much better
than trying to evaluate who is useful and who is

(02:17):
it and only talking with the people who seem immediately
useful and then hitting them up for favors when you
don't really know them. So instead of networking, I think connection,
and then make sure you are connecting with lots of people.
The upside of this mindset is that it makes any
conversation useful, at least on some level, and I mean

(02:41):
with anyone the postal clerk. You get to know every
time you bring in samples to mail to potential clients,
the people in your running group, the lady who is
always out on her porch two blocks away from your house,
people at your house of worship, or the other parents
who are always there when you bring your kids to
dance class. Now, I am not saying don't bother with

(03:04):
professional networking events. Your hit rate for immediately valuable professional
opportunities is obviously going to be higher at an event
that is for your industry and involves people who have
the ability to make decisions. Of course you should go
to those, but again, go with the goal of connection,

(03:25):
not networking. Get to know people, make friends, even if
it doesn't lead to anything professionally. You will have really
cool people to hang out with at the next networking event.
And that is fun too. And it also happens that
we often need different things in life, and it is
the randomness of knowing lots of different people that can

(03:47):
help there, including the random people that the people you
know happen to know. I was reminded of this recently
while reading a blog post by Kristen Over at The
Frugal Girl. She had been living with her parents after
a personal crisis and she wanted to find her own
place where she and her girls could live. Multiple places

(04:08):
fell through, and since she is self employed, the approval
process was always harder. Then in the midst of this,
her mom went to her Bible study and shared what
Kristen was going through. One of the women in the
group informed her that her son's tenants had just informed
him that they were moving out in a few weeks.

(04:28):
Kristen applied before the home was even listed for rent
and was approved to move in. All sorts of connections matter.
The more you have, the better, So instead of networking,
I think connection. You'll connect with more and different people
and probably enjoy the process more too. In the meantime,

(04:53):
this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making
the most of our time. M Hey, everybody, I'd love
to hear from you. You can send me your tips,
your questions, or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter,

(05:13):
Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod that's b the
number four, then Breakfast p o D. You can also
shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcast at i
heeart media dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out
with all the letters. Thanks so much, should I look
forward to staying in touch? Before Breakfast is a production

(05:40):
of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,
visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you listen to your favorite shows.