January 25, 2024 • 22 mins
Why we gotta make things so complicated? We discuss what happens when hobbies - everything - becomes work.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this Sanny and Samantha, and welcome stuff. I never
told you your prediction of by Heart radio, and welcome
in to another edition of Happy Hour. As always with these,
we are not currently sponsored by anything we mentioned uh
(00:25):
and also drink responsibly. Yes, are you used to be anything, Samantha.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I am keeping it pretty low key. I have this
new probiotic drink that I bought from Trader Joe's, again
not sponsored uh with. It's called Agua de Keifer and
apparently it's like a Mexican keifer and.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I love it. It's so tasty.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I mix it with some orange juice, though, give you
more vitamin C. Yeah, so I'm doing that today. Keep
it as simple, what about you nice?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
I have a friend who lefts of beer at my
apartment and I'm drinking that and that's that's the story.
I'm not going to say what it is. But yeah,
I was like, all right, this will this is all
going to be here. I'm drinking she loved it. Here
here it is. So today I wanted to talk about
something I've kind of talked about before, and just the preface,
(01:19):
this is like a very privileged thing to complain about.
And I know that but it is also something that
I deal with all the time, and it is that
I make everything and exercise and productivity. I make everything work.
And so this has been on my mind because I'm
(01:43):
so stressedus thinking about it. We are starting Dungeons and
Dragons again this year, and I just spent this weekend
kind of grappling with I. I should also say, like
I love I love everything I'm going to talk about,
but that's kind of the point, is that I take
(02:04):
these things that should be fun and I make it
into a job. So I had to we have reached
the end of where where what I had written for
Dungeons and Dragons. Because just as a reminder again, I
am the game master, the dungeon master of this game.
(02:27):
I realifally've been playing for like four years, we've played
a long time. And I was the dungeon master for
my previous campaign and we played that for a long time,
and so all of this is on me. You can
find pre written campaigns. You can buy a pre written campaign.
(02:48):
Somebody gave me one for Christmas. But I wrote the
whole thing, which means you have to really spend a
lot of time thinking about how it's going to play out,
What is going to be the payout? What is going
to be What are the things they could possibly do
that you're not anticipating. Also, I've talked about it before,
(03:11):
but I write a lot of this in code. When
I say it's work, it's work. But I really I
do really like it. And again, this is something I chose.
This is not no one put it on me. I
think people would have been perfectly fine if I had
(03:33):
just done one that was already written. But I have
these really high standards for myself, and so like D
and D should be a fun thing, it is a
fun thing. But I can't tell you how much stress
I had this weekend doing it. I was texting with
you and your partner because the last WAS two remaster
(03:55):
came out. I desperately wanted to play it. I didn't
because I've got to do this. But video games aren't
immune from this either. I also put on the calendar
when I will play video games, when I will let
myself play video games, So in that way, it becomes
(04:17):
something that is also no longer just a fun thing.
It's like, oh, it's on my calendar, I have to
do it now, or I won't do it. And this
is one of the reasons why I've talked about this before.
I don't like open world games. I think they're great,
but they're not for me because I stress out so
(04:38):
much about completing every task. I like a game where
there's an ending and the story is done, and then
I can stop or I can play it again, but
the story will still come to an end and it
is done. Instead of me wandering about trying to find
this many mushrooms of a certain type, I don't like it.
(04:59):
It stresses me out. And the same has also become
true of fan fiction. Because I still love it. I
love writing it. It's the thing I enjoy. But now
it's on my calendar every week. You have to write
this much, you have to publish this, you have to
do this. I turned it into a job. I turned
it into a thing that I have to do, and
(05:23):
so it's like, there's still things that I enjoy. Don't
get me wrong that it's not what I'm saying, but
it has become a stress. I made it a stress
and it wasn't that before. Like I just I feel
like I can't just enjoy something. I can't just enjoy it.
It has to be somehow productive and good, like I
(05:48):
keep talking about. You've heard me say it a million times.
One thing I love about fan fiction is it doesn't
have to be good. You can just read whatever. You
can write a note at the top that's like I
didn't really think this through great, but I can't do it,
and I get in my head like this isn't good.
So I just I edit and I edit and I
keep working on it. And a part of this is
(06:12):
a part of fandom, which is this loyalty I've discussed before.
But you feel like if you don't, if you're not
doing it, it'll die, like like literally, because I'm writing
in a very niche space, right, Like I get if
I don't publish, other people won't publish, and then it'll
just slowly die and then I won't have anything to read.
(06:34):
So now it's my responsibility, like I have to keep
publishing stuff. And I've been thinking about too, like because
I've even sort of jokingly said, you know, I could
turn the Last of Us Too into like a side gig.
I could play it and make money, which you know
isn't a bad thing. But I just don't like that.
(06:54):
I've really divorced myself from the I just want to
play it, or I just want to write it like
it's is it on my calendar? No, Okay, I can't
do it. And you know, we were sort of talking
(07:16):
about this recently too, because we are very, very very fortunate.
It Do not get me wrong that we have flexible
jobs and that we get to talk about things that
we watch or play. But you and I talked about
it when I came over recently and we were like, well,
we'll play this game and then we'll do an episode.
It's work now, and it does sort of take you.
(07:37):
It's a different mindset where you're like, Okay, what am
I going to talk about? Specifically? What is it? What
is it? What is it? And again, that is a
great fun job to have, or we get to talk
about board games, for example, But I just feel like
it's sort of saturated all the rest of my life,
and I was always like this this is I think
(07:58):
it's just sort of gotten really tense lately. But I do.
I'm the person who loves to watch the movie and
be like, let me tell you, these things are my thoughts,
and I write essays about things because I have to
be ready to fight with anybody about having an opinion.
So it's not like it's new. It is like part
of my personality. I think I was just sort of
like this weekend when I was so stressed and I
(08:21):
was trying to get all this stuff done, and I
was like, but this was originally supposed to be like
a fun thing. And that's something else I've talked about before.
I just feel like I'm really separated from my body.
Like I don't eat because I want to. I don't
eat what I want unless it's still the ruth friends.
(08:43):
I don't sleep when I want to, and I don't
sleep when I'm tired. I don't watch things when I
want to, or play things when I want to, or
write things when I want to. So it's like I'm
sort of divorced from this whole thing. Like it's like
I have to tell myself to do these things. I
put things on calendars, and I do often end up
(09:04):
enjoying those things, but it's not coming from like, oh, hey,
like there's no simultaneousness of oh, you know what would
be really nice right now, I'd love to play this
game that's not on the schedule, you can't do it,
So I don't know and I do think that that's
part of what we've talked about before, with the whole
(09:24):
sort of hustler economy being productive as sort of a
moral thing, and I do take pride in it. Like recently,
our D and D group and our text messages, they
were being very kind and like, oh God, you're such
a They just played Balder's Gate and they were like, oh,
(09:48):
you're such a good gay master like that, and they
kept saying like, oh, you're really good, and I liked that, like, oh,
thank you. And it's just kind of so much work
behind it that I did again myself. They didn't ask it,
(10:09):
but I'm worried if I didn't play the Dungeon Master
the game Master, no one would and then we wouldn't play.
So it's sort of this, I mean, I had about
to do it. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
I mean not that I don't want you to play.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
I want you to play because I know you enjoy it,
but meaning like, if you're starting to not enjoy it
and you're feeling like you're forcing yourself to do it,
and you think that it's going to die because you
didn't do it.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
If it dies, is that a bad thing?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I mean, that's what I've been thinking about, Like I
do love it, and I think, like I don't think
anyone would do it. I don't think if I did,
if I stop, no one would do it. Maybe this
says more about the group than you, I know, but
it's true. It's like the only reason I started doing
this at all was because I knew if I didn't
(11:00):
do it, no one else was going to do it,
and I wanted to do it, Like I kept I
wanted to play. So what I mean is it's a
question I'm going to have to think about when this
comes to an end, because they are close to the
end and it could be I'm just at a I
told you I'm at the part of the game that
it's definitely going to be the hardest part, which is
where they could choose like fifteen different things, and so
(11:21):
I had to be ready for those fifteen different things.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
This is what you get for playing with ridiculously intelligent
people who are all individual personalities on their own, so
make the most difficult choices.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah. I literally was like sitting there because it gat
I codd So basically like like okay, if they do this,
if they do this and then this, then this and this,
but I it's an interesting exercise in the human psyche,
to be honest, because I was like, well, what questions
are they going to think? What weird things are they
(11:55):
going to want to do? And I do maybe I'm
just tired. I do really like it, like it's always
fun after we do it. I think it's just that
I at the beginning, I had so much inspiration, and
now I'm at the end, and I'm like, it's not
(12:16):
going to be the ending they want. It's not going
to live up to what I want and what they want.
And that's what happened in my last campaign actually, because
it was during the pandemic. Doing it virtually was really
difficult because so much of what I do is like,
look at this diorama. I made no joke. So eventually
(12:40):
we got to this big boss battle, and it took
so long between every playthrough, no one could really remember
what was going on in this like epic story I
had composed and no one could really remember. And then
it was taking so long for the fight to end
that people, I think, just got tired of it. And
so I was like, all right, well just end it,
(13:02):
and so it didn't. And I think, you know, I
think in person it would have been better, but I
can I will never know for sure, but it was
one of those things that kind of stuck with me,
like I'd put all this work into it and then
I got to the end and it was like, oh, okay,
I'll just get it up with Yeah. And I also
(13:33):
just I don't know. I think a lot of people
feel this way. I feel like I don't have as
much and it can't be true, but it feels like
I don't have as much time as I used to.
It feels like I'm always working on something.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
No, I think it could be true at that whole level,
like because you've added more things to your plate, whether
you recognize it or not, people have moved into town
that you don't see are asking for some of your
time as well. We added more episodes, you added more
episodes savor, You're added fan fiction writing to your miniless
(14:08):
So I think you're running in that level.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
But you also.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Challenge yourself to make it be complete in an amount
of time that's seemingly unrealistic, meaning immediately, like you have
to do it immediately, which is again, as a procrastinator,
do not have this part problem?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Instead, I'm like I got it, I got it.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Maybe you also feel like because you have two co
hosts who are those types of personality that you have
to make sure you're at the front of it just
in case. So that's adding on to that level of
immediacy on top of I must prepare for fifteen thousand
different scenarios of everything, not just D and D yeah,
(14:53):
but also yeah. Maybe doing the schedule, which has kept
you together is also.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
By maybe I mean, and it is like that actually
is part of the problem. It's like less that I'm like,
oh god, I have to get in front of my
too lovely. It's more that I feel like I can't
enjoy something until I'm done with work. Like so it
(15:20):
becomes sort of a like again with the calendar, like
if this is not done, then you can't go do
a thing that you want, and that propels me to
get a lot of things done early. That also impacts
to sleep, eating. But I don't know. Again, this is
(15:43):
like a very I don't want it to. I kind
of feel like I'm the person in a job interview
that's like my one problem is I'm so good at
stuff I wanted to sell at all, But it just
like I do want to have like a good a
(16:07):
good game and a good fan fiction and all that stuff.
People are so nice. I don't want to make it
sound like anybody has been making me feel bad or
that they're owed this a lot. It's just me. But
I was thinking about it too, because I am so
bad at sleep and I've gotten better. But I'll literally
(16:30):
like this morning, I was laying in bed and I
was like thinking about how I was going to say
things in the podcast and what episodes we can do
and all this stuffen.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
I was like, stop.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Working, this is this try to sleep. And I know
everyone does that. We talked about that recently. This is
not a unique thing to me, but it just feels
like every second my time has to be productive. And
that's one of my favorite things is to lay in
bed and just kind of think about stuff that isn't work.
(17:00):
I don't want to lose that too.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
It's very interesting.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Yeah, I feel like that's I get a lot of
my best like imaginative ideas.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
That's fair.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yeah, But again, I think this also comes back to
you keep saying like everybody does this, not necessarily like
the sleep you get is unreal to me.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
It kind of scares me for.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
You, because I'm like, how do you function? And I
get like some people don't need all that sleep, and
I have the opposite problem of like sometimes I sleep
too much. I've I've gotten better, I've done some new
regiments at night and I think it's helping h But like,
I definitely sleep for at least six hours. Doing less
than six hours makes me dysfunctional. So when you're talking
(17:44):
about I got more than four hours of sleep, I'm excited.
I'm like, what the f how are you standing? And
I know you also sit to rest, But it's not
as normal as you think that, And not that it's
like you're abnormal, you're weird. It's just like, no, there's
I mean, this can cause issues with the anxiety and
especially like if I don't get enough sleep, I'm nauseous
(18:06):
all day.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
It's weirdly odd to me like that.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I'm sure there's a thing and the doctor could tell
us exactly what's wrong with this, but like in that level,
like that's probably a lot of things are linked to that.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
So like the whole level of like I know everybody
goes like no, that's not as normal as you think that.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
You get checked out I still hold to you that
you need to get checked out. There's things that you
need to go get checked out. I'm going to say
that again.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
I love you, but like in that level of like
these are some of these things are yes, absolutely, like
just there's not enough time in the day. Some of
these things are yes, you putting it on yourself and
it's causing you so much anxiety. And some of these
things are like, yes, it's a physiology, you need to.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Get that checked out. With much love, maybe maybe oh yeah.
That was kind of like the joke with the.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
The Last of Us two coming out was everybody was
asking about it, and I was like, literally, if I
start to play this now, that's it like all day,
it would be a disaster. I just I wish I
had better, Like I wish I allowed myself more room
to be like, oh you want to do that, Okay,
(19:27):
let's see that. That's all.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
You should get your health checked.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
It's not like you're saying I'm insane.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
This is the thing.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Like some of these things are legitimate. Some of these
things are because you're ignoring things. So my sleep has come.
You did tell me that, which is impressive, which I'm
glad because I was really concerned. I was like, you
cannot survive on two hours of sleep at night. It's
not it's not gonna work.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Apparently I was telling you about this, but apparently during
the pandemic, especially for women, that has become a pretty
common thing because it's what's happening is I'm essentially waking
up and not going back to sleep, and apparently during
the pandemic a lot of people that happens like normally,
(20:20):
but normally you just go back to sleep because we're
all like anxious and stressed. You don't just go back
to sleep. Your brain starts to be like, let me
work on site. Before the pandemic, I've long been anxious. Yeah,
but you've had issues with sleep before. But my sleep
(20:46):
thing has changed from what it was before the pandemic.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
It's still trouble to sleep, but it's different.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
It's different.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Okay, Okay, it's.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
A different troubles I remember the episode. It was pretty pandemic.
I think so, studio, So don't mind on me with
a pandemic.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Never listeners, never, well, I would love to hear if
anybody has any thoughts on this, If you connect to this.
If you've like taken every hobby you have and made
it into some kind of work exercise, I'd love to hear.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
I feel like a lot of mothers would understand this.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Oh, I think so. I think so. You can email
us at Stepania mom stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You
can find us on Twitter at momstol Podcasts, or on
TikTok and Instagram at stuff I Never told you. We
have a tea public store, and yes we have a book.
Thanks as always to a super producer, Christina, executive producer Maya,
and your contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you
(21:43):
for listening stuff I Ever told you his prediction of iHeartRadio.
For more podcasts on my heart Radio, you can check
out the heart Radio app Apple Podcasts, or you listened
to your favorite shows
Hey, this Sanny and Samantha, and welcome stuff. I never
told you your prediction of by Heart radio, and welcome
in to another edition of Happy Hour. As always with these,
we are not currently sponsored by anything we mentioned uh
(00:25):
and also drink responsibly. Yes, are you used to be anything, Samantha.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
I am keeping it pretty low key. I have this
new probiotic drink that I bought from Trader Joe's, again
not sponsored uh with. It's called Agua de Keifer and
apparently it's like a Mexican keifer and.
Speaker 3 (00:43):
I love it. It's so tasty.
Speaker 2 (00:46):
I mix it with some orange juice, though, give you
more vitamin C. Yeah, so I'm doing that today. Keep
it as simple, what about you nice?
Speaker 1 (00:56):
I have a friend who lefts of beer at my
apartment and I'm drinking that and that's that's the story.
I'm not going to say what it is. But yeah,
I was like, all right, this will this is all
going to be here. I'm drinking she loved it. Here
here it is. So today I wanted to talk about
something I've kind of talked about before, and just the preface,
(01:19):
this is like a very privileged thing to complain about.
And I know that but it is also something that
I deal with all the time, and it is that
I make everything and exercise and productivity. I make everything work.
And so this has been on my mind because I'm
(01:43):
so stressedus thinking about it. We are starting Dungeons and
Dragons again this year, and I just spent this weekend
kind of grappling with I. I should also say, like
I love I love everything I'm going to talk about,
but that's kind of the point, is that I take
(02:04):
these things that should be fun and I make it
into a job. So I had to we have reached
the end of where where what I had written for
Dungeons and Dragons. Because just as a reminder again, I
am the game master, the dungeon master of this game.
(02:27):
I realifally've been playing for like four years, we've played
a long time. And I was the dungeon master for
my previous campaign and we played that for a long time,
and so all of this is on me. You can
find pre written campaigns. You can buy a pre written campaign.
(02:48):
Somebody gave me one for Christmas. But I wrote the
whole thing, which means you have to really spend a
lot of time thinking about how it's going to play out,
What is going to be the payout? What is going
to be What are the things they could possibly do
that you're not anticipating. Also, I've talked about it before,
(03:11):
but I write a lot of this in code. When
I say it's work, it's work. But I really I
do really like it. And again, this is something I chose.
This is not no one put it on me. I
think people would have been perfectly fine if I had
(03:33):
just done one that was already written. But I have
these really high standards for myself, and so like D
and D should be a fun thing, it is a
fun thing. But I can't tell you how much stress
I had this weekend doing it. I was texting with
you and your partner because the last WAS two remaster
(03:55):
came out. I desperately wanted to play it. I didn't
because I've got to do this. But video games aren't
immune from this either. I also put on the calendar
when I will play video games, when I will let
myself play video games, So in that way, it becomes
(04:17):
something that is also no longer just a fun thing.
It's like, oh, it's on my calendar, I have to
do it now, or I won't do it. And this
is one of the reasons why I've talked about this before.
I don't like open world games. I think they're great,
but they're not for me because I stress out so
(04:38):
much about completing every task. I like a game where
there's an ending and the story is done, and then
I can stop or I can play it again, but
the story will still come to an end and it
is done. Instead of me wandering about trying to find
this many mushrooms of a certain type, I don't like it.
(04:59):
It stresses me out. And the same has also become
true of fan fiction. Because I still love it. I
love writing it. It's the thing I enjoy. But now
it's on my calendar every week. You have to write
this much, you have to publish this, you have to
do this. I turned it into a job. I turned
it into a thing that I have to do, and
(05:23):
so it's like, there's still things that I enjoy. Don't
get me wrong that it's not what I'm saying, but
it has become a stress. I made it a stress
and it wasn't that before. Like I just I feel
like I can't just enjoy something. I can't just enjoy it.
It has to be somehow productive and good, like I
(05:48):
keep talking about. You've heard me say it a million times.
One thing I love about fan fiction is it doesn't
have to be good. You can just read whatever. You
can write a note at the top that's like I
didn't really think this through great, but I can't do it,
and I get in my head like this isn't good.
So I just I edit and I edit and I
keep working on it. And a part of this is
(06:12):
a part of fandom, which is this loyalty I've discussed before.
But you feel like if you don't, if you're not
doing it, it'll die, like like literally, because I'm writing
in a very niche space, right, Like I get if
I don't publish, other people won't publish, and then it'll
just slowly die and then I won't have anything to read.
(06:34):
So now it's my responsibility, like I have to keep
publishing stuff. And I've been thinking about too, like because
I've even sort of jokingly said, you know, I could
turn the Last of Us Too into like a side gig.
I could play it and make money, which you know
isn't a bad thing. But I just don't like that.
(06:54):
I've really divorced myself from the I just want to
play it, or I just want to write it like
it's is it on my calendar? No, Okay, I can't
do it. And you know, we were sort of talking
(07:16):
about this recently too, because we are very, very very fortunate.
It Do not get me wrong that we have flexible
jobs and that we get to talk about things that
we watch or play. But you and I talked about
it when I came over recently and we were like, well,
we'll play this game and then we'll do an episode.
It's work now, and it does sort of take you.
(07:37):
It's a different mindset where you're like, Okay, what am
I going to talk about? Specifically? What is it? What
is it? What is it? And again, that is a
great fun job to have, or we get to talk
about board games, for example, But I just feel like
it's sort of saturated all the rest of my life,
and I was always like this this is I think
(07:58):
it's just sort of gotten really tense lately. But I do.
I'm the person who loves to watch the movie and
be like, let me tell you, these things are my thoughts,
and I write essays about things because I have to
be ready to fight with anybody about having an opinion.
So it's not like it's new. It is like part
of my personality. I think I was just sort of
like this weekend when I was so stressed and I
(08:21):
was trying to get all this stuff done, and I
was like, but this was originally supposed to be like
a fun thing. And that's something else I've talked about before.
I just feel like I'm really separated from my body.
Like I don't eat because I want to. I don't
eat what I want unless it's still the ruth friends.
(08:43):
I don't sleep when I want to, and I don't
sleep when I'm tired. I don't watch things when I
want to, or play things when I want to, or
write things when I want to. So it's like I'm
sort of divorced from this whole thing. Like it's like
I have to tell myself to do these things. I
put things on calendars, and I do often end up
(09:04):
enjoying those things, but it's not coming from like, oh, hey,
like there's no simultaneousness of oh, you know what would
be really nice right now, I'd love to play this
game that's not on the schedule, you can't do it,
So I don't know and I do think that that's
part of what we've talked about before, with the whole
(09:24):
sort of hustler economy being productive as sort of a
moral thing, and I do take pride in it. Like recently,
our D and D group and our text messages, they
were being very kind and like, oh God, you're such
a They just played Balder's Gate and they were like, oh,
(09:48):
you're such a good gay master like that, and they
kept saying like, oh, you're really good, and I liked that, like, oh,
thank you. And it's just kind of so much work
behind it that I did again myself. They didn't ask it,
(10:09):
but I'm worried if I didn't play the Dungeon Master
the game Master, no one would and then we wouldn't play.
So it's sort of this, I mean, I had about
to do it. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (10:22):
I mean not that I don't want you to play.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
I want you to play because I know you enjoy it,
but meaning like, if you're starting to not enjoy it
and you're feeling like you're forcing yourself to do it,
and you think that it's going to die because you
didn't do it.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
If it dies, is that a bad thing?
Speaker 1 (10:37):
I mean, that's what I've been thinking about, Like I
do love it, and I think, like I don't think
anyone would do it. I don't think if I did,
if I stop, no one would do it. Maybe this
says more about the group than you, I know, but
it's true. It's like the only reason I started doing
this at all was because I knew if I didn't
(11:00):
do it, no one else was going to do it,
and I wanted to do it, Like I kept I
wanted to play. So what I mean is it's a
question I'm going to have to think about when this
comes to an end, because they are close to the
end and it could be I'm just at a I
told you I'm at the part of the game that
it's definitely going to be the hardest part, which is
where they could choose like fifteen different things, and so
(11:21):
I had to be ready for those fifteen different things.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
This is what you get for playing with ridiculously intelligent
people who are all individual personalities on their own, so
make the most difficult choices.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Yeah. I literally was like sitting there because it gat
I codd So basically like like okay, if they do this,
if they do this and then this, then this and this,
but I it's an interesting exercise in the human psyche,
to be honest, because I was like, well, what questions
are they going to think? What weird things are they
(11:55):
going to want to do? And I do maybe I'm
just tired. I do really like it, like it's always
fun after we do it. I think it's just that
I at the beginning, I had so much inspiration, and
now I'm at the end, and I'm like, it's not
(12:16):
going to be the ending they want. It's not going
to live up to what I want and what they want.
And that's what happened in my last campaign actually, because
it was during the pandemic. Doing it virtually was really
difficult because so much of what I do is like,
look at this diorama. I made no joke. So eventually
(12:40):
we got to this big boss battle, and it took
so long between every playthrough, no one could really remember
what was going on in this like epic story I
had composed and no one could really remember. And then
it was taking so long for the fight to end
that people, I think, just got tired of it. And
so I was like, all right, well just end it,
(13:02):
and so it didn't. And I think, you know, I
think in person it would have been better, but I
can I will never know for sure, but it was
one of those things that kind of stuck with me,
like I'd put all this work into it and then
I got to the end and it was like, oh, okay,
I'll just get it up with Yeah. And I also
(13:33):
just I don't know. I think a lot of people
feel this way. I feel like I don't have as
much and it can't be true, but it feels like
I don't have as much time as I used to.
It feels like I'm always working on something.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
No, I think it could be true at that whole level,
like because you've added more things to your plate, whether
you recognize it or not, people have moved into town
that you don't see are asking for some of your
time as well. We added more episodes, you added more
episodes savor, You're added fan fiction writing to your miniless
(14:08):
So I think you're running in that level.
Speaker 3 (14:10):
But you also.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
Challenge yourself to make it be complete in an amount
of time that's seemingly unrealistic, meaning immediately, like you have
to do it immediately, which is again, as a procrastinator,
do not have this part problem?
Speaker 1 (14:28):
Instead, I'm like I got it, I got it.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Maybe you also feel like because you have two co
hosts who are those types of personality that you have
to make sure you're at the front of it just
in case. So that's adding on to that level of
immediacy on top of I must prepare for fifteen thousand
different scenarios of everything, not just D and D yeah,
(14:53):
but also yeah. Maybe doing the schedule, which has kept
you together is also.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
By maybe I mean, and it is like that actually
is part of the problem. It's like less that I'm like,
oh god, I have to get in front of my
too lovely. It's more that I feel like I can't
enjoy something until I'm done with work. Like so it
(15:20):
becomes sort of a like again with the calendar, like
if this is not done, then you can't go do
a thing that you want, and that propels me to
get a lot of things done early. That also impacts
to sleep, eating. But I don't know. Again, this is
(15:43):
like a very I don't want it to. I kind
of feel like I'm the person in a job interview
that's like my one problem is I'm so good at
stuff I wanted to sell at all, But it just
like I do want to have like a good a
(16:07):
good game and a good fan fiction and all that stuff.
People are so nice. I don't want to make it
sound like anybody has been making me feel bad or
that they're owed this a lot. It's just me. But
I was thinking about it too, because I am so
bad at sleep and I've gotten better. But I'll literally
(16:30):
like this morning, I was laying in bed and I
was like thinking about how I was going to say
things in the podcast and what episodes we can do
and all this stuffen.
Speaker 4 (16:38):
I was like, stop.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
Working, this is this try to sleep. And I know
everyone does that. We talked about that recently. This is
not a unique thing to me, but it just feels
like every second my time has to be productive. And
that's one of my favorite things is to lay in
bed and just kind of think about stuff that isn't work.
(17:00):
I don't want to lose that too.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
It's very interesting.
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Yeah, I feel like that's I get a lot of
my best like imaginative ideas.
Speaker 3 (17:12):
That's fair.
Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yeah, But again, I think this also comes back to
you keep saying like everybody does this, not necessarily like
the sleep you get is unreal to me.
Speaker 3 (17:22):
It kind of scares me for.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
You, because I'm like, how do you function? And I
get like some people don't need all that sleep, and
I have the opposite problem of like sometimes I sleep
too much. I've I've gotten better, I've done some new
regiments at night and I think it's helping h But like,
I definitely sleep for at least six hours. Doing less
than six hours makes me dysfunctional. So when you're talking
(17:44):
about I got more than four hours of sleep, I'm excited.
I'm like, what the f how are you standing? And
I know you also sit to rest, But it's not
as normal as you think that, And not that it's
like you're abnormal, you're weird. It's just like, no, there's
I mean, this can cause issues with the anxiety and
especially like if I don't get enough sleep, I'm nauseous
(18:06):
all day.
Speaker 3 (18:07):
It's weirdly odd to me like that.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I'm sure there's a thing and the doctor could tell
us exactly what's wrong with this, but like in that level,
like that's probably a lot of things are linked to that.
Speaker 3 (18:17):
So like the whole level of like I know everybody
goes like no, that's not as normal as you think that.
Speaker 5 (18:25):
You get checked out I still hold to you that
you need to get checked out. There's things that you
need to go get checked out. I'm going to say
that again.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
I love you, but like in that level of like
these are some of these things are yes, absolutely, like
just there's not enough time in the day. Some of
these things are yes, you putting it on yourself and
it's causing you so much anxiety. And some of these
things are like, yes, it's a physiology, you need to.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Get that checked out. With much love, maybe maybe oh yeah.
That was kind of like the joke with the.
Speaker 1 (19:05):
The Last of Us two coming out was everybody was
asking about it, and I was like, literally, if I
start to play this now, that's it like all day,
it would be a disaster. I just I wish I
had better, Like I wish I allowed myself more room
to be like, oh you want to do that, Okay,
(19:27):
let's see that. That's all.
Speaker 3 (19:32):
You should get your health checked.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
It's not like you're saying I'm insane.
Speaker 3 (19:39):
No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (19:40):
This is the thing.
Speaker 2 (19:41):
Like some of these things are legitimate. Some of these
things are because you're ignoring things. So my sleep has come.
You did tell me that, which is impressive, which I'm
glad because I was really concerned. I was like, you
cannot survive on two hours of sleep at night. It's
not it's not gonna work.
Speaker 1 (19:59):
Apparently I was telling you about this, but apparently during
the pandemic, especially for women, that has become a pretty
common thing because it's what's happening is I'm essentially waking
up and not going back to sleep, and apparently during
the pandemic a lot of people that happens like normally,
(20:20):
but normally you just go back to sleep because we're
all like anxious and stressed. You don't just go back
to sleep. Your brain starts to be like, let me
work on site. Before the pandemic, I've long been anxious. Yeah,
but you've had issues with sleep before. But my sleep
(20:46):
thing has changed from what it was before the pandemic.
Speaker 3 (20:49):
Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 1 (20:50):
It's still trouble to sleep, but it's different.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
It's different.
Speaker 1 (20:54):
Okay, Okay, it's.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
A different troubles I remember the episode. It was pretty pandemic.
I think so, studio, So don't mind on me with
a pandemic.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
Never listeners, never, well, I would love to hear if
anybody has any thoughts on this, If you connect to this.
If you've like taken every hobby you have and made
it into some kind of work exercise, I'd love to hear.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
I feel like a lot of mothers would understand this.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Oh, I think so. I think so. You can email
us at Stepania mom stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You
can find us on Twitter at momstol Podcasts, or on
TikTok and Instagram at stuff I Never told you. We
have a tea public store, and yes we have a book.
Thanks as always to a super producer, Christina, executive producer Maya,
and your contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you
(21:43):
for listening stuff I Ever told you his prediction of iHeartRadio.
For more podcasts on my heart Radio, you can check
out the heart Radio app Apple Podcasts, or you listened
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