May 11, 2024 • 37 mins
The 2023 film Past Lives is a beautiful, critically acclaimed look at diverging paths and identities. We talk destiny, true love, childhood sweethearts and wondering about the path not taken.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I'm welcome to stuff
I've never told your protection of.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
iHeartRadio And for this month, although we kind of already
had a movie that we talked about, it wasn't necessarily
the feature we were going to do for this month,
but it was still fun because ten Things I Hate
(00:29):
about You, I heart it. But we are switching it
up for a spoiler Saturday or Saturday spoiler of a
recently acclaimed twenty twenty three movie, Past Lives. So if
you haven't watched it and you don't want to know
about it, pause here and I think it is I
(00:50):
know streaming currently on Paramount Plus, not a sponsor right now,
who knows? And I go and watch it because it
is a really good movie. It was written and directed
by Selene Song and this movie was her feature directorial
debut and has amassed a lot of praise for its
unique but normalized I guess take of a love triangle
(01:15):
and childhood First Loves. So a lot of the articles
you might have seen where she's talking about it was
this idea that she wanted to take a love triangle
but in a normal context where there's no necessarily good
guy or bad guy, and there's no like dramatic fallouts
or you know, betrayals, just everyday normal conversations. And of
(01:38):
course it's an A twenty four film, so if you
know anything about A twenty four yet, no, it's going
to have that very like indie style movie. But this
movie was nominated for several awards, including the Academy Awards
for Best Picture and the Golden Globes, and has been
named on several lists for top ten films of twenty
(01:59):
twenty three. I think it's out like a ninety to
ninety five percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Still, people really really
like this film. To me, kind of felt along the
lines of Lost in Translation or the eternal sunshine of
Spotless Mind, which it does talk about in the movie. Yeah,
bet Ubs has that feel like that, almost like you're
(02:20):
peering into someone else's private life.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yes, that was one of the things I noted. It's
beautifully shot, but there is a lot of imagery of
like windows or frames or like diverging pathways. But yes,
a lot of like you're looking in somehow to what's
what's happening on screen?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Right? The movie stars Grete Lee as the adult Nora
or Neong Moon and Tao You as Heysong, and then
John mcgaro as Arthur. It opens as if you're a
spectator and you're viewing these three people talking together and
trying to guess who they are and who they are
(03:03):
to each other. So we're going to go into the plot.
But yes, again spoiler, because if we're going to talk
all about it, we're going to talk about the themes,
and we're going to talk about the fields because I
feel like it resonates a lot with so many people
in different ways. And yes, it is both in Korean
and English, which was really funny for me, who watches
(03:24):
a lot of k drama to be like, oh, but
this is an American film. This is done by Canadian
the director, and it is portrayed by Korean American people
that I'm like, oh, this is such a weird dynamic.
But I truly appreciated it. So Nay Young and her
family are soon immigrating to Canada for better opportunities. And
(03:46):
though she's really excited for the new move with the
hopes of being able to win a Nobel Prize, which
is what she tells everyone, she hasn't told her current
love Heysong with a last date for the two of them.
Haysung discovers that Nyung is moving and he as he
walks her to her house for the last time, all
he says is goodbye, Chiao Ja, and soon we jumped
(04:09):
to twelve years later where Nyang, who now goes by Nora.
She's working in the writing and literature world, and in
a moment of conversation with her mother, she decides to
look up friends from Korea and finds out that Haysong
has been looking for her for quite some time, and
soon they reconnect and sparks fly, but with both of
them having busy lives and not being able to connect
(04:31):
outside a video call, Nora decides to end it for
a while. As she says, soon we find out that
Nora has met someone through her fellowship Arthur, and Haysong
has met someone while he was traveling in China, and
Nora explains the Korean legend of inyan, and she says
(04:51):
is an Indian. If two strangers even walk by each
other in the street and they're clothes accidentally brushed, because
it means there must have been something between them in
their past lives. If two people get married they say
it's because there are then eight thousand layers of India
and over eight thousand lifetimes, which, of course, this is
(05:12):
kind of the basis of this movie, is kind of
the underlying idea. So jump to twelve years later and
we find out that Nora and Arthur are married. Arthur
is doing well and has published his book, while Nora
is in the middle of her doing her play. And
around that time, Haysong is about to decide to go
and visit New York and wants to reconnect with Nora.
(05:32):
That's not what he said tells people, of course, but
we find out that that is the point, and after
finally seeing each other face to face, we have an
interweaving of who they were and who they have become.
Haysung realizes that Arthur is a great guy who truly
loves Nora, and though she has changed, she is still
the same in many ways. And even though the Na
(05:54):
Young of youth still loves Haysong, Nora knows she has
left Ney Young behind and she's come the Nora who
is in New York living with our husband in a
small apartment as a Korean American. And then we have
the ending scene where she drops him off to his
uber and she walks on a long path back to Arthur,
(06:16):
where she cries and mourns. I guess the loss of
nay Young a little bit. And then they go home
and that's the end. What do you think about the movie, Annie?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I really liked it. I as I said, I thought
it was shocked beautifully and I love the idea because
this is I think about this a lot too, of
just like missed opportunities. What if I had done this?
What if I had done this? Like I think it's
impossible as human beings to not think about that sometimes.
And I did, like honestly appreciate the complexity but also
(06:51):
normalcy of the love triangle where it was like no
real villain, it was just sort of this is how
it is, this is how it turned out, and you
can have a sadness for that. And I liked at
the end when she was upset that Arthur like didn't
he wasn't mad about it, he was just like, come inside.
(07:12):
I liked that. I really did appreciate. I appreciate that
and like seeing them connect at these different points in
their life because there are pretty big time jumps. But yeah,
that idea really resonated with me too, of those other
pasts you didn't take in what could have happened, right right.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I think there's a lot to be said about letting
go of your past and who moves forward and who
doesn't move forward. So it's kind of interesting because you
have that dichotomy of what Hayesong is going through. Who
stayed in Korea and stayed in that pathway, where as
where Nora slash Nayung has gone to somewhere else and
(07:56):
kind of became a whole different cultural person, and so
what that looks like for her and she kept proceeding forward. Uh,
not that Haysung doesn't do that. It's one of those
things where I've always said I'd rather be the one
to leave than to stay, because it feels empty when
something's missing, you know what I mean. But if you're
doing a new adventure, everything's new, nothing's missing because you
(08:17):
don't know what's coming next. So it's kind of that
level of what you see in that like split in paths.
So Haysung always kind of thought of Niang as if
we would have happened, has she stayed, what would have
happened if this is and he says that during one point,
you know, would we've gotten married, would we have had children,
and would be you know, what would our lives been like?
(08:42):
But yeah, so with that we'll jump into some of the themes,
and of course the love theme is definitely their young
love first love, you know, and for a lot of
Korean drama's first love is a huge, huge, like detail
and to the point that it almost takes over all
of it, like she first loves trump any other love. Oddly,
(09:06):
even if your children like, it's got that connection. And
I think that's kind of what you see with hay Song,
always loving her and always knowing that she's that same girl.
So like he'd asked, you know, she's last saying that
she wanted to you to win the Nobel Prize and
not Korean people don't. And then she talks about later
she wants to win the Pulitzer because she's a writer,
(09:26):
and then it moves on to her to win the
Tony because she's doing plays, you know, and he's like,
you're the same, this is how you were before, except
she was a cry baby and she no longer cries
like that, you know, to the point that when she
told Arthur, I used to cry all the time and
he's like really like he was very shocked, right, you know,
but that first love of remembering who she was at
(09:49):
that beginning, and she even tells her mom as a kid,
you know, yes, this is my boyfriend, Yes, I love
him type of thing, even though she knew she was
moving yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah. And they were very she was from the beginning
very competitive and he won, like the basketball game wasn't
like one time and she was like mad about it.
So it's it is interesting because she didn't really change,
but the way that she was always moving forward to
the next thing like it catapulted her into this direction.
(10:26):
And it was it was sad because when they left,
when she left and Haysung found out, like she was
telling someone else, not how we found out, right, And
they just walk home silently, which is mirrored at the
end kind of it's long walk. They get to these
(10:47):
two pathways and then they split and as you said,
he just says goodbye and she just walks up the
stairs and away. But it is when you're a kid,
when you're figuring that stuff out. I get why those
childhood gloves make such an impression that you can remember
them absolutely.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
M of course, and with that, I guess the true
love or the adult love, because I mean, she really
doesn't harp on any concept of the one or you know,
true love in general. It just happened that her and Arthur.
I think she truly loves him, and she says that,
but at this level of like he wonders, you know, also,
(11:27):
had I not been the one at the fellowship, which
is the nian who else would you have been with?
Would you thought about going back with hey Song? Like
what would have happened type of conversation? And then like
adult love and relationships and it's not your typical romance
or whatever whatnot. It just the compromise and being together
(11:49):
and loving each other and understanding each other, like that's
the adult version. And though it looks different because she's like,
I don't know, and this could be just my own
like projection that she's like, she feels like she's in
love with him as much as she is in love
with Haysong. Sorry not Arthur, but the fact that she
(12:12):
is watching him watch her, so seeing herself through his eyes, yeah,
you know, yeah, which is interesting. And I think it's
interesting that Arthur and you know, both of them realizing
in this adult love. There's no bad guy like you
know has sung saying I kind of wish you were
(12:34):
a jerk. Yeah, but there's nothing for me to say that.
You seem like a really cool person and in this
relationship you and I. This is our inion as well,
so it's not I can't you know, like I can't
force anything. I wouldn't ever say anything, and there's nothing
I would do to try to mess the relationship. I
just wanted to see essentially, I guess assess the situation
(12:55):
and Arthur is the same way. Author like he seems
like a cool guy.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yeah, And as we've been saying, I like how they
handled that where they communicated. Arthur communicated to his insecurities
about the whole thing, but was also like, no, it's
your old friend, like go be with him. Like having
these adult relationships and I do. We've talked about this before,
(13:21):
but the whole thing of you know, finding somebody as
an adult does sometimes feel like difficult. So if you
have I get what Arthur's saying, where like if it
had been someone else, who's say, because that's how a
lot of us meet people is that things like that.
(13:44):
But I mean they had a spark as you said
they loved each other, but it is like that question
is always there, and it's also yeah, I sung was
the one who was looking for her, and I do
think you're right about for her, it was sort of
a remembering who she was and thinking about what she
(14:07):
could have been, who she could have been because he yeah,
he was more like stayed on this path that they
had been on and she went a different way. So
especially like at the end where they're having that conversation,
and I felt kind of bad for Arthur because he
was just like, yeah, you should probably it's all right,
you go all right, But it was a very like,
(14:30):
you know, they were having these memories and thinking about
what could have been. But yeah, as you said, adult
relationships have this layer of it's not always going to
work like I thought it was when I was a kid.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Right, I think the themes of youth were very parent
like what you thought you wanted to what you grow
Like her talking about the different awards that she was
(15:09):
going to win changed drastically as she grew up. What
she was expecting, what she wanted, that they all change
and the reality of what she wanted all changed. For again,
he sung, it literally was kind of the same, like
he trekked into what he called ordinary. Everything was ordinary
as expected. He went in his military time, and he
(15:33):
knew what it was going to be. He went to school,
he knew what it was going to be. You know,
he's making some money, but it's not as much. Korean culture,
adults live with their parents until they get married, essentially,
and even still they may still live with their parents,
and that's completely normal. And she talked about that, like
that's the difference. But like he stayed again in the
path that he knew from what he was as a
(15:55):
kid to what he was an adult. Norah remembering her
childhood to this, you know, and also like the fact
that she only spoke Korean to those that she knew
from childhood, including her mom, including hay Song. You know,
it was very like obvious on those themes and the
differences that grew out, but there still was like the
(16:15):
silent thought thoughtfulness in both youth and adulthood. That makes sense.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Mm hmm, yeah, I think that when like when you
look at a character like Nora and you see her
as a child and you can just see her thinking
about this future, and it can sound kind of silly
or she's like, I want to win the Nobel Prize.
But she does have that drive, so it's not sound
(16:42):
I think it can sound silly when you're an adult,
but when you're a kid, you do have those moments
of thoughtfulness, silence. It's like thinking about what I want
my future to be. And it does change as you
get older, but she still had that like drive, like
even if it changed from the Tony in to whatever
whatever whatever, it was still there, right, yeah, which I
(17:06):
thought was a really fascinating look at her her character.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
And with that, obviously, the cultures were very much a
prevalent part of their conversations, whether it was just like
her speaking in Korean to Hasung and then trying to
translate a little bit to Arthur, and then Arthur trying
to learn Korean so you could hear what she's saying
to our parents, and then like appreciating the food and
appreciating the family and the culture. Of course, she makes
(17:31):
a statement which was like on point for me. I
was like, yeah, this is very big conversation about the
dinverces that she talks about having Korean friends, but they're
all Korean American or Korean Canadian and they are very
different from what she calls Korean Korean. And I always
said that too, in that level of like he is
truly Korean Korean, and the differences are like him still
(17:52):
living with his family and not going to get married
until he's perfectly set, or what he thinks is rich
or what he thinks is advantageous. And then her talking about,
you know, the understanding the languages and how it's different
that he you know, she has to talk to him
in this language. And then the differences are very very obvious.
(18:13):
Again the legends like Enyan and whether she believes in
that because author's like, do you believe this? She goes
no silly with this conversation that grows bigger and bigger,
and then there is a divide like as much as
she remembers and loves hayesng as from the old that
was again Niong, that was not Nora, that was no
(18:36):
longer Nora, and that she literally says, I left Niong
with you. You know, she she exists, but in you
essentially like she because of the way he remembered her.
That's what it was. But that's the cultural difference of
like her being very Korean Korean when she lived there
to acclimating to Canada, to acclamating to the US and
(18:57):
being a little different, and you have this that conversation
that I've seen in so much social media when they
literally argue with each other. I've seen Korean Americas having
to defend why when we talk about the microaggressions in
the US and the Koreans being like, that's the true
people who live in Korea not understanding what a big
deal it is because they've never understood that. And they
(19:20):
kind of, I guess, admire and desire white culture, white
American culture in so many ways that they don't understand that.
So it's interesting because that there is a big divide,
and I've seen that recently in conversations with African Americans
or the black community in the US versus the Black
community and the UK. There's been a big conversation and
(19:41):
divide about the differences and like comparing each other's lives
and talking about who's like this and that, and You're like,
but the thing is you might not understand the cultural
difference is when you're placed in a whole different level
of culture and when you come like I would not
necessarily and I've said this many times that I've been
told by Korean people that I'm weird because I am
(20:05):
not like Korean people. Obviously, I was raised in a
white community and having that level of like differences. So
being just Korean American, even if you are raised by
Korean family, is still different from being Korean and living
in South Korea. So, like, it's such a whole conversation
that she has, and you can see that divide when
she's talking to Arthur, like it's so apparent, versus when
(20:27):
she's talking to Hayesong, Like you're watching this happen, you
were watching the divide where she's talking Korean Korean, you know,
versus Korean American. So it's such an interesting way of
seeing those cultural differences play out literally in front of
you at a bar.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yes. Yes, because again it starts with spectators trying to
figure out, like who they are to each other, what's going.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
On, who's in a relationship with whom?
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yes? Yes, And I love that it's that way because
the whole movie you're trying to figure out like.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
The way to be with whom?
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yeah, exactly, because where we are trained to look for
the like most dramatic love triangle and it really wasn't
that it really wasn't, but that is I mean that
it was a great visual representation of her past life
in her current life, of her identity in Korea and
her identity in the US and having it sort of
(21:25):
split like this. It was really good. Yeah, visual it was.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
And then there's kind of this level of like destiny.
Obviously that's the whole point of Indian Also is this morning,
Like I put those two together because you have this
like beginning and what you think could happen, and then
when it doesn't happen and letting it go. That's also
part of that destiny. The end scene which I did
read about like they didn't know when the uber was
(21:53):
actually coming, like she didn't Selene's song didn't tell them when.
So that scene of them just waiting is legitimately like
them trying to figure out what's coming to The shot
with Gretelle walking was taken in one shot and she
was like keeping it together, keeping it together. And then
like the actual cry, which apparently was like one of
(22:14):
the conversations, like throughout the whole thing, you feel you
could just cry at any moment, How did you keep
it together? Like she's like, and I waited it out
and had that moment at the end, which was exactly
like that feeling that like for me, there's films that
I watched that aren't sad that are sad to me again, Like,
so they mentioned Eternal Sunshine a spotless mind. She talks
about Manta when they when they go to meet together
(22:38):
in the Eternal Sunshine is spawless mine. So he Hayesun
goes and watches it because he wants to know what
she's talking about. But that to me was one of
the saddest films in the end, because all I could
see was they're going to repeat their mistakes and they're
going to be miserable. Like they don't want to forget
the good times either, but they're going to repeat their mistakes.
(22:58):
That's what I had seen in that movie. So in
this movie, as where she is crying at ending, it
didn't feel sad. It just felt final.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, it felt kind of cathartic, like, yeah, Okay, I've
I've like examined this thing that I thought maybe could
have been a chance in another life, and it makes
me sad that I didn't get it in some ways,
but in other ways I'm really happy with what I
have right, So it was much more like kind of
(23:27):
an acknowledgment. It just felt much more of a letting
herself acknowledge that maybe that could have been something, but
it's not going to be and she's like what she
has right, She's.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
There with what she needs. The biggest theme is the
relationships that we see, and there was also those relationships,
but also kind of like the humanity in those relationships.
(24:04):
So you see Arthur and I think we don't want
to leave this out, but him feeling insecure, but at
the same time not want to hold her back, but
just waiting, like he literally is just waiting to see
what's going to happen and making sure that he is
the guy that he's always been, whether it feels insecure,
(24:24):
whether he's feeling like and I could get this that
he's missing a small link to her life. So here's
this big part of her life where she was in
South Korea, when she was raised in South Korea. She
is still raised in the culture of South Korea with
her parents. That's not a part of his life and
he's never seen that as a thing and the cultural
divide in that. But trying to get into it, trying
(24:45):
to learn it and trying to understand it and then
seeing when someone does connect to that. So therefore he's
kind of just like taken aback, feeling a little bit
insecure because that's such a huge part of her, but
at the same time being secure enough to wait and
hold back.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Yeah. Yeah, again, I did appreciate that that there was
a lot of communication of you know, in that instance,
him being open about like, yeah, it makes me sad,
I can't be a part of this. I'm a part
of this part of your life. Him being a little saying,
essentially I'm insecure, but this is like your childhood friend,
(25:24):
please go. Like, I appreciate that they had those conversations,
and I do think one of the big things about
this movie is waiting. There's a lot of waiting that
sometimes works out well and sometimes not badly. But like
for a high sung like he only said goodbye when
(25:44):
she left, she didn't say anything. It was a much
more like waiting to see what the other person would do.
So I think that's an interesting scene throughout as well,
of sort of seeing what the other person is going
to do, right.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
That definitely was mm hmmm, hey song realizing he has
to let go. It was kind of one of those
main things where he was leaving. He did an amazing job.
Two did an amazing job being the awkward visitor, like,
he did such a good job with this. The original
(26:20):
actor was going to be Troy who was in Parasite,
so he was the starring Parasite, but I don't know
what happened. Apparently he was signed on in twenty twenty
and then Tayo got the role instead, which is interesting
to me because there's a huge age difference between him
and Greta Lee, So I was like, that would have
(26:41):
been but he's actually a Canadian born Korean that moved
back to South Korea, So I was like, as a
whole underlying I wonder if it had taken a whole
different conversation if that had happened. But I think Tayo
did an amazing job that he really jumped into that
(27:01):
awkwardness so well, but like still anticipating, he had that
anticipation awkward loving guy like, he did an amazing job
with that role. And then of course readily in all
of her greatness, who I loved her. I've loved her
since I saw her on a New Girl so she
(27:22):
came in playing a character as Nick's girlfriend and new girl,
and I was just excited to see an Asian woman
being seen not as a fetish but just in a
normal relationship in the story. And I was like, WHOA,
look at that, what do you unlike supernatural anyway, but
like but yeah, So I really appreciated seeing her just
(27:43):
being playing those roles. When she played in Russian Doll,
I loved her character in that, so seeing her in
this role just was like amazing, and she did a
phenomenal job. And because I've only seen her typically in
like comedies, so seeing her in this role really like
taking it on and really like understanding that divide, that
(28:04):
the slash of culture, because I think that's such a
big conversation that we don't have, especially with API, what
that looks like and how different it really is, how
unique that culture is to come into from one culture
but living in another culture, so acclimating to both but
at the same time not losing either. And she and
(28:26):
gradually did an amazing job I think, and portraying that
also knowing that she did a good job in like
loving both men, like loving them as the two separate people,
as being Nora as being nay young like she did
a great job and portraying almost like a split personality
in the same role. It was beautiful.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah, yeah, she did. It was really it was. It
was fun to see her in those different contexts of
like you got your relationship that she's pretty much settled
in and with Arthur and it's happy with but it's
like settled in. Yeah, and then hy Son comes back
and you just kind of see this excitement of like
her so eager to catch up. But it is interesting too,
(29:12):
the dynamic of when someone who you haven't seen since
childhood like comes to visit you and maybe they never
left your hometown or something, and there is a weirdness
to it where you're like the things you're talking about
can feel so out of touch for the other person,
(29:34):
where you're like talking about friends that they don't know,
or like things that you do that they don't know.
And she Nora was very much like trying and keep
it in his realm of you know, really reliving these
things or stuff like that. But and they did have
it was interesting to me that they had some kind
of like I wouldn't call them tense, but like you
got married, you were dating someone.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
And she made you to correct them very quickly. Yes,
and you got don't play, don't act like I'm the
only one here, moving on.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
Yeah, but it's almost like they stayed, as we've been saying,
they kind of stayed in the past, and that's where
they were really good. But when you come to the
future to the present, it can be sort of jarring
to when you realize you've just really went down different paths,
you've lived different lives.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Right, yeah. And I think that conversation when we have
the initial secondary breakup in the harbor of making that point,
I'm not coming to Korea anytime soon. You're not coming
into the US anytime soon. What is this. We're not
going to bring this together. Neither one of us can
get to the point of sacrificing our current livelihoods for
(30:46):
the other. So what you know, like this is not feasible.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Right yeah, Yeah, And as you said, she was the one, which,
by the way, they were using Skype, Samantha.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
That was also twenty ten.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Two. Skype was the only thing that existed at that point, man, I.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Don't care at all. When she Nora was like, we
have to take a we have to take a break.
It was kind of interesting because they weren't in a
relationship in any way really, but they just had this
like chemistry and it was so exciting and they were
talking to each other all the time. But yeah, she
(31:35):
brought up that and was like, when is it gonna
be we're gonna see each other. It's not gonna work
out some years, right, if at all. So I need
to go focus. I need to go back and focus
on what I'm doing here. I thought that was really
interesting that they had kind of a like non breakup
breaking right, it's p a hole, right.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
It was causing too much confusion, like she and she
said that. She was like, I'm looking up flights and
wanting to be there, but I can't be there, Like
this is not working because I have to be present here. Yeah,
and I can't sacrifice, and you can't sacrifice for us
to be together. So and yeah, you're right. They never
really have breakups. They just say bye. They give the
(32:21):
Irish goodbye is what I like to call it.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
The Irish listeners are furiously now.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
I have a feeling a lot of the Irish people
are like, yeah, I just leave. I don't want to
talk to you.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Hey, that's one way to do it, for sure.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
I'm just gonna slip away or ghosting, but they didn't
ghost because she actually talked about it. But yeah, I
think it's it's obviously coming to the end, and that's
every point. And then that final end I think was
the closure. Like they may speak every now and again,
but it's not going to be with any Yeah, question
(33:04):
marks unless one of them gets, unless she gets divorced
and he doesn't get. That's the sequel. Yeah, that's the
next one, past live to we do what might have been?
They could just do like a thing and where they
have a parallel world and then we'll do that view.
(33:26):
Because I was like, you know, this is reminiscent to
that which the Nail brothers did talk about that and
love this movie without the fantastical part. Is that reality part?
Speaker 1 (33:35):
I thought that too, because you know, you see the
main characters in that movie talking about divorce and seeing
all the past they could have gone down, right, the
one where Michelle Yo like stays and becomes a movie
star action star, right, and they meet back up and
they are talking about what could have been, which is
the reality of the movie. We're watching but yeah, I
(33:57):
definitely was like this it's got this similarity.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Yeah. I also liked that the emotional scenes to me
wasn't emotional as emotional so the people like the rock scene,
everybody really really lost it, and I was like, it's cute, though,
I mean, I really loved it. I was like, I
don't know, if it's that emotion, I get it. Maybe
I just don't have the depth to this, so it's
just the same way some of the things in the past.
LOT was like, I get it, it's it's like melancholy,
(34:22):
but it's not mournful to me. Like those are two
different conversations. But yeah, and I have to throw out
because I did talk about Gridley being in all the comedies.
She was also in What We Do in the Shadows
as well, and she was phenomenal that This is why
I say, like, I just know her for the comedy,
so seeing her really be at the forefront of this
(34:43):
was beautiful. I hope we have more movies like this,
and I really love that that that Korean films and
foreign films are coming out. I love that Asian films
are coming out. You see Monkey Man that has nothing
to do with feminism, necessarily but does from what I understand.
But I love seeing like Eastern films come into light
(35:06):
and getting accolades throughout different cultures. Because the US is
such a diverse population, it should it should be reminiscent
to all of this. So being able to watch different
levels cultures is so important. So things like everything everywhere
all at once, Things like Minari, which I haven't watched
because I think that's gonna be too sad for me.
(35:29):
I gotta get into that, but I'm like, I don't
know if already, Things like Past Lives, you know, when
we talked about films like Bended, like Beckham White was
important for what it was like, It's a silly, fun film,
but it's culturally impactful. And seeing things like that is
so impactful because this is the same thing with Past Lives.
There's no big, like political statement here. It's just about
(35:53):
a different cultural life but mixing with what we do,
what we are familiar with. So we have the New
York scene, but we have a different cultural aspect to
this conversation. And I think that's what I love about
this film is that, yes, it's relatable in so many
ways for so many different groups of people. And we
(36:17):
have to have the conversation what it looks like for immigration,
and we talk about the and this is the whole
Koreans believing coming into North America, whether it's Canada or
to the US, it's going to give you more opportunities.
And they say that at the very beginning, because that
was that ideal that we come through and find better
and bigger opportunities here in the US or in Canada,
(36:40):
as this was based. And Selene's song really putting some
depth to that and personality to that conversation.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
So yeah, huh, yeah, highly recommend it. As you say,
I found it more melancholy and then sad, but it
was also just relatable. I think we all have those
feelings of what could have been.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Yeah, I mean I think about that often, like cool,
what have happened if I didn't get adopted? I define
wouldn't be here?
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Right, I mean I think we all I don't think
we all think about those things. So highly recommend listeners.
If you have any thoughts about this or any suggestions,
we do have a list You can email us at
Stuffy da Mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can
find us on Twitter at moms to podcast or on
(37:30):
Instagram and TikTok at stuff one. Never Told You. We're
also on YouTube, but we have a tea public store
and a book you can get wherever you get your books.
Thanks as always to our super producer Christina or exective producer,
my intercontributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you for listening.
Steffan Never Told You is production of by Heart Radio.
For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, check out the
art radio app, Apple podcast or where you listen to
your favorite ships.
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I'm welcome to stuff
I've never told your protection of.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
iHeartRadio And for this month, although we kind of already
had a movie that we talked about, it wasn't necessarily
the feature we were going to do for this month,
but it was still fun because ten Things I Hate
(00:29):
about You, I heart it. But we are switching it
up for a spoiler Saturday or Saturday spoiler of a
recently acclaimed twenty twenty three movie, Past Lives. So if
you haven't watched it and you don't want to know
about it, pause here and I think it is I
(00:50):
know streaming currently on Paramount Plus, not a sponsor right now,
who knows? And I go and watch it because it
is a really good movie. It was written and directed
by Selene Song and this movie was her feature directorial
debut and has amassed a lot of praise for its
unique but normalized I guess take of a love triangle
(01:15):
and childhood First Loves. So a lot of the articles
you might have seen where she's talking about it was
this idea that she wanted to take a love triangle
but in a normal context where there's no necessarily good
guy or bad guy, and there's no like dramatic fallouts
or you know, betrayals, just everyday normal conversations. And of
(01:38):
course it's an A twenty four film, so if you
know anything about A twenty four yet, no, it's going
to have that very like indie style movie. But this
movie was nominated for several awards, including the Academy Awards
for Best Picture and the Golden Globes, and has been
named on several lists for top ten films of twenty
(01:59):
twenty three. I think it's out like a ninety to
ninety five percent on Rotten Tomatoes. Still, people really really
like this film. To me, kind of felt along the
lines of Lost in Translation or the eternal sunshine of
Spotless Mind, which it does talk about in the movie. Yeah,
bet Ubs has that feel like that, almost like you're
(02:20):
peering into someone else's private life.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
Yes, that was one of the things I noted. It's
beautifully shot, but there is a lot of imagery of
like windows or frames or like diverging pathways. But yes,
a lot of like you're looking in somehow to what's
what's happening on screen?
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Right? The movie stars Grete Lee as the adult Nora
or Neong Moon and Tao You as Heysong, and then
John mcgaro as Arthur. It opens as if you're a
spectator and you're viewing these three people talking together and
trying to guess who they are and who they are
(03:03):
to each other. So we're going to go into the plot.
But yes, again spoiler, because if we're going to talk
all about it, we're going to talk about the themes,
and we're going to talk about the fields because I
feel like it resonates a lot with so many people
in different ways. And yes, it is both in Korean
and English, which was really funny for me, who watches
(03:24):
a lot of k drama to be like, oh, but
this is an American film. This is done by Canadian
the director, and it is portrayed by Korean American people
that I'm like, oh, this is such a weird dynamic.
But I truly appreciated it. So Nay Young and her
family are soon immigrating to Canada for better opportunities. And
(03:46):
though she's really excited for the new move with the
hopes of being able to win a Nobel Prize, which
is what she tells everyone, she hasn't told her current
love Heysong with a last date for the two of them.
Haysung discovers that Nyung is moving and he as he
walks her to her house for the last time, all
he says is goodbye, Chiao Ja, and soon we jumped
(04:09):
to twelve years later where Nyang, who now goes by Nora.
She's working in the writing and literature world, and in
a moment of conversation with her mother, she decides to
look up friends from Korea and finds out that Haysong
has been looking for her for quite some time, and
soon they reconnect and sparks fly, but with both of
them having busy lives and not being able to connect
(04:31):
outside a video call, Nora decides to end it for
a while. As she says, soon we find out that
Nora has met someone through her fellowship Arthur, and Haysong
has met someone while he was traveling in China, and
Nora explains the Korean legend of inyan, and she says
(04:51):
is an Indian. If two strangers even walk by each
other in the street and they're clothes accidentally brushed, because
it means there must have been something between them in
their past lives. If two people get married they say
it's because there are then eight thousand layers of India
and over eight thousand lifetimes, which, of course, this is
(05:12):
kind of the basis of this movie, is kind of
the underlying idea. So jump to twelve years later and
we find out that Nora and Arthur are married. Arthur
is doing well and has published his book, while Nora
is in the middle of her doing her play. And
around that time, Haysong is about to decide to go
and visit New York and wants to reconnect with Nora.
(05:32):
That's not what he said tells people, of course, but
we find out that that is the point, and after
finally seeing each other face to face, we have an
interweaving of who they were and who they have become.
Haysung realizes that Arthur is a great guy who truly
loves Nora, and though she has changed, she is still
the same in many ways. And even though the Na
(05:54):
Young of youth still loves Haysong, Nora knows she has
left Ney Young behind and she's come the Nora who
is in New York living with our husband in a
small apartment as a Korean American. And then we have
the ending scene where she drops him off to his
uber and she walks on a long path back to Arthur,
(06:16):
where she cries and mourns. I guess the loss of
nay Young a little bit. And then they go home
and that's the end. What do you think about the movie, Annie?
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I really liked it. I as I said, I thought
it was shocked beautifully and I love the idea because
this is I think about this a lot too, of
just like missed opportunities. What if I had done this?
What if I had done this? Like I think it's
impossible as human beings to not think about that sometimes.
And I did, like honestly appreciate the complexity but also
(06:51):
normalcy of the love triangle where it was like no
real villain, it was just sort of this is how
it is, this is how it turned out, and you
can have a sadness for that. And I liked at
the end when she was upset that Arthur like didn't
he wasn't mad about it, he was just like, come inside.
(07:12):
I liked that. I really did appreciate. I appreciate that
and like seeing them connect at these different points in
their life because there are pretty big time jumps. But yeah,
that idea really resonated with me too, of those other
pasts you didn't take in what could have happened, right right.
Speaker 2 (07:35):
I think there's a lot to be said about letting
go of your past and who moves forward and who
doesn't move forward. So it's kind of interesting because you
have that dichotomy of what Hayesong is going through. Who
stayed in Korea and stayed in that pathway, where as
where Nora slash Nayung has gone to somewhere else and
(07:56):
kind of became a whole different cultural person, and so
what that looks like for her and she kept proceeding forward. Uh,
not that Haysung doesn't do that. It's one of those
things where I've always said I'd rather be the one
to leave than to stay, because it feels empty when
something's missing, you know what I mean. But if you're
doing a new adventure, everything's new, nothing's missing because you
(08:17):
don't know what's coming next. So it's kind of that
level of what you see in that like split in paths.
So Haysung always kind of thought of Niang as if
we would have happened, has she stayed, what would have
happened if this is and he says that during one point,
you know, would we've gotten married, would we have had children,
and would be you know, what would our lives been like?
(08:42):
But yeah, so with that we'll jump into some of the themes,
and of course the love theme is definitely their young
love first love, you know, and for a lot of
Korean drama's first love is a huge, huge, like detail
and to the point that it almost takes over all
of it, like she first loves trump any other love. Oddly,
(09:06):
even if your children like, it's got that connection. And
I think that's kind of what you see with hay Song,
always loving her and always knowing that she's that same girl.
So like he'd asked, you know, she's last saying that
she wanted to you to win the Nobel Prize and
not Korean people don't. And then she talks about later
she wants to win the Pulitzer because she's a writer,
(09:26):
and then it moves on to her to win the
Tony because she's doing plays, you know, and he's like,
you're the same, this is how you were before, except
she was a cry baby and she no longer cries
like that, you know, to the point that when she
told Arthur, I used to cry all the time and
he's like really like he was very shocked, right, you know,
but that first love of remembering who she was at
(09:49):
that beginning, and she even tells her mom as a kid,
you know, yes, this is my boyfriend, Yes, I love
him type of thing, even though she knew she was
moving yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah. And they were very she was from the beginning
very competitive and he won, like the basketball game wasn't
like one time and she was like mad about it.
So it's it is interesting because she didn't really change,
but the way that she was always moving forward to
the next thing like it catapulted her into this direction.
(10:26):
And it was it was sad because when they left,
when she left and Haysung found out, like she was
telling someone else, not how we found out, right, And
they just walk home silently, which is mirrored at the
end kind of it's long walk. They get to these
(10:47):
two pathways and then they split and as you said,
he just says goodbye and she just walks up the
stairs and away. But it is when you're a kid,
when you're figuring that stuff out. I get why those
childhood gloves make such an impression that you can remember
them absolutely.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
M of course, and with that, I guess the true
love or the adult love, because I mean, she really
doesn't harp on any concept of the one or you know,
true love in general. It just happened that her and Arthur.
I think she truly loves him, and she says that,
but at this level of like he wonders, you know, also,
(11:27):
had I not been the one at the fellowship, which
is the nian who else would you have been with?
Would you thought about going back with hey Song? Like
what would have happened type of conversation? And then like
adult love and relationships and it's not your typical romance
or whatever whatnot. It just the compromise and being together
(11:49):
and loving each other and understanding each other, like that's
the adult version. And though it looks different because she's like,
I don't know, and this could be just my own
like projection that she's like, she feels like she's in
love with him as much as she is in love
with Haysong. Sorry not Arthur, but the fact that she
(12:12):
is watching him watch her, so seeing herself through his eyes, yeah,
you know, yeah, which is interesting. And I think it's
interesting that Arthur and you know, both of them realizing
in this adult love. There's no bad guy like you
know has sung saying I kind of wish you were
(12:34):
a jerk. Yeah, but there's nothing for me to say that.
You seem like a really cool person and in this
relationship you and I. This is our inion as well,
so it's not I can't you know, like I can't
force anything. I wouldn't ever say anything, and there's nothing
I would do to try to mess the relationship. I
just wanted to see essentially, I guess assess the situation
(12:55):
and Arthur is the same way. Author like he seems
like a cool guy.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Yeah, And as we've been saying, I like how they
handled that where they communicated. Arthur communicated to his insecurities
about the whole thing, but was also like, no, it's
your old friend, like go be with him. Like having
these adult relationships and I do. We've talked about this before,
(13:21):
but the whole thing of you know, finding somebody as
an adult does sometimes feel like difficult. So if you
have I get what Arthur's saying, where like if it
had been someone else, who's say, because that's how a
lot of us meet people is that things like that.
(13:44):
But I mean they had a spark as you said
they loved each other, but it is like that question
is always there, and it's also yeah, I sung was
the one who was looking for her, and I do
think you're right about for her, it was sort of
a remembering who she was and thinking about what she
(14:07):
could have been, who she could have been because he yeah,
he was more like stayed on this path that they
had been on and she went a different way. So
especially like at the end where they're having that conversation,
and I felt kind of bad for Arthur because he
was just like, yeah, you should probably it's all right,
you go all right, But it was a very like,
(14:30):
you know, they were having these memories and thinking about
what could have been. But yeah, as you said, adult
relationships have this layer of it's not always going to
work like I thought it was when I was a kid.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Right, I think the themes of youth were very parent
like what you thought you wanted to what you grow
Like her talking about the different awards that she was
(15:09):
going to win changed drastically as she grew up. What
she was expecting, what she wanted, that they all change
and the reality of what she wanted all changed. For again,
he sung, it literally was kind of the same, like
he trekked into what he called ordinary. Everything was ordinary
as expected. He went in his military time, and he
(15:33):
knew what it was going to be. He went to school,
he knew what it was going to be. You know,
he's making some money, but it's not as much. Korean culture,
adults live with their parents until they get married, essentially,
and even still they may still live with their parents,
and that's completely normal. And she talked about that, like
that's the difference. But like he stayed again in the
path that he knew from what he was as a
(15:55):
kid to what he was an adult. Norah remembering her
childhood to this, you know, and also like the fact
that she only spoke Korean to those that she knew
from childhood, including her mom, including hay Song. You know,
it was very like obvious on those themes and the
differences that grew out, but there still was like the
(16:15):
silent thought thoughtfulness in both youth and adulthood. That makes sense.
Speaker 1 (16:20):
Mm hmm, yeah, I think that when like when you
look at a character like Nora and you see her
as a child and you can just see her thinking
about this future, and it can sound kind of silly
or she's like, I want to win the Nobel Prize.
But she does have that drive, so it's not sound
(16:42):
I think it can sound silly when you're an adult,
but when you're a kid, you do have those moments
of thoughtfulness, silence. It's like thinking about what I want
my future to be. And it does change as you
get older, but she still had that like drive, like
even if it changed from the Tony in to whatever
whatever whatever, it was still there, right, yeah, which I
(17:06):
thought was a really fascinating look at her her character.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
And with that, obviously, the cultures were very much a
prevalent part of their conversations, whether it was just like
her speaking in Korean to Hasung and then trying to
translate a little bit to Arthur, and then Arthur trying
to learn Korean so you could hear what she's saying
to our parents, and then like appreciating the food and
appreciating the family and the culture. Of course, she makes
(17:31):
a statement which was like on point for me. I
was like, yeah, this is very big conversation about the
dinverces that she talks about having Korean friends, but they're
all Korean American or Korean Canadian and they are very
different from what she calls Korean Korean. And I always
said that too, in that level of like he is
truly Korean Korean, and the differences are like him still
(17:52):
living with his family and not going to get married
until he's perfectly set, or what he thinks is rich
or what he thinks is advantageous. And then her talking about,
you know, the understanding the languages and how it's different
that he you know, she has to talk to him
in this language. And then the differences are very very obvious.
(18:13):
Again the legends like Enyan and whether she believes in
that because author's like, do you believe this? She goes
no silly with this conversation that grows bigger and bigger,
and then there is a divide like as much as
she remembers and loves hayesng as from the old that
was again Niong, that was not Nora, that was no
(18:36):
longer Nora, and that she literally says, I left Niong
with you. You know, she she exists, but in you
essentially like she because of the way he remembered her.
That's what it was. But that's the cultural difference of
like her being very Korean Korean when she lived there
to acclimating to Canada, to acclamating to the US and
(18:57):
being a little different, and you have this that conversation
that I've seen in so much social media when they
literally argue with each other. I've seen Korean Americas having
to defend why when we talk about the microaggressions in
the US and the Koreans being like, that's the true
people who live in Korea not understanding what a big
deal it is because they've never understood that. And they
(19:20):
kind of, I guess, admire and desire white culture, white
American culture in so many ways that they don't understand that.
So it's interesting because that there is a big divide,
and I've seen that recently in conversations with African Americans
or the black community in the US versus the Black
community and the UK. There's been a big conversation and
(19:41):
divide about the differences and like comparing each other's lives
and talking about who's like this and that, and You're like,
but the thing is you might not understand the cultural
difference is when you're placed in a whole different level
of culture and when you come like I would not
necessarily and I've said this many times that I've been
told by Korean people that I'm weird because I am
(20:05):
not like Korean people. Obviously, I was raised in a
white community and having that level of like differences. So
being just Korean American, even if you are raised by
Korean family, is still different from being Korean and living
in South Korea. So, like, it's such a whole conversation
that she has, and you can see that divide when
she's talking to Arthur, like it's so apparent, versus when
(20:27):
she's talking to Hayesong, Like you're watching this happen, you
were watching the divide where she's talking Korean Korean, you know,
versus Korean American. So it's such an interesting way of
seeing those cultural differences play out literally in front of
you at a bar.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yes. Yes, because again it starts with spectators trying to
figure out, like who they are to each other, what's going.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
On, who's in a relationship with whom?
Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yes? Yes, And I love that it's that way because
the whole movie you're trying to figure out like.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
The way to be with whom?
Speaker 1 (21:04):
Yeah, exactly, because where we are trained to look for
the like most dramatic love triangle and it really wasn't
that it really wasn't, but that is I mean that
it was a great visual representation of her past life
in her current life, of her identity in Korea and
her identity in the US and having it sort of
(21:25):
split like this. It was really good. Yeah, visual it was.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
And then there's kind of this level of like destiny.
Obviously that's the whole point of Indian Also is this morning,
Like I put those two together because you have this
like beginning and what you think could happen, and then
when it doesn't happen and letting it go. That's also
part of that destiny. The end scene which I did
read about like they didn't know when the uber was
(21:53):
actually coming, like she didn't Selene's song didn't tell them when.
So that scene of them just waiting is legitimately like
them trying to figure out what's coming to The shot
with Gretelle walking was taken in one shot and she
was like keeping it together, keeping it together. And then
like the actual cry, which apparently was like one of
(22:14):
the conversations, like throughout the whole thing, you feel you
could just cry at any moment, How did you keep
it together? Like she's like, and I waited it out
and had that moment at the end, which was exactly
like that feeling that like for me, there's films that
I watched that aren't sad that are sad to me again, Like,
so they mentioned Eternal Sunshine a spotless mind. She talks
about Manta when they when they go to meet together
(22:38):
in the Eternal Sunshine is spawless mine. So he Hayesun
goes and watches it because he wants to know what
she's talking about. But that to me was one of
the saddest films in the end, because all I could
see was they're going to repeat their mistakes and they're
going to be miserable. Like they don't want to forget
the good times either, but they're going to repeat their mistakes.
(22:58):
That's what I had seen in that movie. So in
this movie, as where she is crying at ending, it
didn't feel sad. It just felt final.
Speaker 1 (23:06):
Yeah, it felt kind of cathartic, like, yeah, Okay, I've
I've like examined this thing that I thought maybe could
have been a chance in another life, and it makes
me sad that I didn't get it in some ways,
but in other ways I'm really happy with what I
have right, So it was much more like kind of
(23:27):
an acknowledgment. It just felt much more of a letting
herself acknowledge that maybe that could have been something, but
it's not going to be and she's like what she
has right, She's.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
There with what she needs. The biggest theme is the
relationships that we see, and there was also those relationships,
but also kind of like the humanity in those relationships.
(24:04):
So you see Arthur and I think we don't want
to leave this out, but him feeling insecure, but at
the same time not want to hold her back, but
just waiting, like he literally is just waiting to see
what's going to happen and making sure that he is
the guy that he's always been, whether it feels insecure,
(24:24):
whether he's feeling like and I could get this that
he's missing a small link to her life. So here's
this big part of her life where she was in
South Korea, when she was raised in South Korea. She
is still raised in the culture of South Korea with
her parents. That's not a part of his life and
he's never seen that as a thing and the cultural
divide in that. But trying to get into it, trying
(24:45):
to learn it and trying to understand it and then
seeing when someone does connect to that. So therefore he's
kind of just like taken aback, feeling a little bit
insecure because that's such a huge part of her, but
at the same time being secure enough to wait and
hold back.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Yeah. Yeah, again, I did appreciate that that there was
a lot of communication of you know, in that instance,
him being open about like, yeah, it makes me sad,
I can't be a part of this. I'm a part
of this part of your life. Him being a little saying,
essentially I'm insecure, but this is like your childhood friend,
(25:24):
please go. Like, I appreciate that they had those conversations,
and I do think one of the big things about
this movie is waiting. There's a lot of waiting that
sometimes works out well and sometimes not badly. But like
for a high sung like he only said goodbye when
(25:44):
she left, she didn't say anything. It was a much
more like waiting to see what the other person would do.
So I think that's an interesting scene throughout as well,
of sort of seeing what the other person is going
to do, right.
Speaker 2 (25:58):
That definitely was mm hmmm, hey song realizing he has
to let go. It was kind of one of those
main things where he was leaving. He did an amazing job.
Two did an amazing job being the awkward visitor, like,
he did such a good job with this. The original
(26:20):
actor was going to be Troy who was in Parasite,
so he was the starring Parasite, but I don't know
what happened. Apparently he was signed on in twenty twenty
and then Tayo got the role instead, which is interesting
to me because there's a huge age difference between him
and Greta Lee, So I was like, that would have
(26:41):
been but he's actually a Canadian born Korean that moved
back to South Korea, So I was like, as a
whole underlying I wonder if it had taken a whole
different conversation if that had happened. But I think Tayo
did an amazing job that he really jumped into that
(27:01):
awkwardness so well, but like still anticipating, he had that
anticipation awkward loving guy like, he did an amazing job
with that role. And then of course readily in all
of her greatness, who I loved her. I've loved her
since I saw her on a New Girl so she
(27:22):
came in playing a character as Nick's girlfriend and new girl,
and I was just excited to see an Asian woman
being seen not as a fetish but just in a
normal relationship in the story. And I was like, WHOA,
look at that, what do you unlike supernatural anyway, but
like but yeah, So I really appreciated seeing her just
(27:43):
being playing those roles. When she played in Russian Doll,
I loved her character in that, so seeing her in
this role just was like amazing, and she did a
phenomenal job. And because I've only seen her typically in
like comedies, so seeing her in this role really like
taking it on and really like understanding that divide, that
(28:04):
the slash of culture, because I think that's such a
big conversation that we don't have, especially with API, what
that looks like and how different it really is, how
unique that culture is to come into from one culture
but living in another culture, so acclimating to both but
at the same time not losing either. And she and
(28:26):
gradually did an amazing job I think, and portraying that
also knowing that she did a good job in like
loving both men, like loving them as the two separate people,
as being Nora as being nay young like she did
a great job and portraying almost like a split personality
in the same role. It was beautiful.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
Yeah, yeah, she did. It was really it was. It
was fun to see her in those different contexts of
like you got your relationship that she's pretty much settled
in and with Arthur and it's happy with but it's
like settled in. Yeah, and then hy Son comes back
and you just kind of see this excitement of like
her so eager to catch up. But it is interesting too,
(29:12):
the dynamic of when someone who you haven't seen since
childhood like comes to visit you and maybe they never
left your hometown or something, and there is a weirdness
to it where you're like the things you're talking about
can feel so out of touch for the other person,
(29:34):
where you're like talking about friends that they don't know,
or like things that you do that they don't know.
And she Nora was very much like trying and keep
it in his realm of you know, really reliving these
things or stuff like that. But and they did have
it was interesting to me that they had some kind
of like I wouldn't call them tense, but like you
got married, you were dating someone.
Speaker 2 (29:56):
And she made you to correct them very quickly. Yes,
and you got don't play, don't act like I'm the
only one here, moving on.
Speaker 1 (30:04):
Yeah, but it's almost like they stayed, as we've been saying,
they kind of stayed in the past, and that's where
they were really good. But when you come to the
future to the present, it can be sort of jarring
to when you realize you've just really went down different paths,
you've lived different lives.
Speaker 2 (30:22):
Right, yeah. And I think that conversation when we have
the initial secondary breakup in the harbor of making that point,
I'm not coming to Korea anytime soon. You're not coming
into the US anytime soon. What is this. We're not
going to bring this together. Neither one of us can
get to the point of sacrificing our current livelihoods for
(30:46):
the other. So what you know, like this is not feasible.
Speaker 1 (30:52):
Right yeah, Yeah, And as you said, she was the one, which,
by the way, they were using Skype, Samantha.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
That was also twenty ten.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
I don't care.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
Two. Skype was the only thing that existed at that point, man, I.
Speaker 1 (31:14):
Don't care at all. When she Nora was like, we
have to take a we have to take a break.
It was kind of interesting because they weren't in a
relationship in any way really, but they just had this
like chemistry and it was so exciting and they were
talking to each other all the time. But yeah, she
(31:35):
brought up that and was like, when is it gonna
be we're gonna see each other. It's not gonna work
out some years, right, if at all. So I need
to go focus. I need to go back and focus
on what I'm doing here. I thought that was really
interesting that they had kind of a like non breakup
breaking right, it's p a hole, right.
Speaker 2 (31:58):
It was causing too much confusion, like she and she
said that. She was like, I'm looking up flights and
wanting to be there, but I can't be there, Like
this is not working because I have to be present here. Yeah,
and I can't sacrifice, and you can't sacrifice for us
to be together. So and yeah, you're right. They never
really have breakups. They just say bye. They give the
(32:21):
Irish goodbye is what I like to call it.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
The Irish listeners are furiously now.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
I have a feeling a lot of the Irish people
are like, yeah, I just leave. I don't want to
talk to you.
Speaker 1 (32:36):
Hey, that's one way to do it, for sure.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
I'm just gonna slip away or ghosting, but they didn't
ghost because she actually talked about it. But yeah, I
think it's it's obviously coming to the end, and that's
every point. And then that final end I think was
the closure. Like they may speak every now and again,
but it's not going to be with any Yeah, question
(33:04):
marks unless one of them gets, unless she gets divorced
and he doesn't get. That's the sequel. Yeah, that's the
next one, past live to we do what might have been?
They could just do like a thing and where they
have a parallel world and then we'll do that view.
(33:26):
Because I was like, you know, this is reminiscent to
that which the Nail brothers did talk about that and
love this movie without the fantastical part. Is that reality part?
Speaker 1 (33:35):
I thought that too, because you know, you see the
main characters in that movie talking about divorce and seeing
all the past they could have gone down, right, the
one where Michelle Yo like stays and becomes a movie
star action star, right, and they meet back up and
they are talking about what could have been, which is
the reality of the movie. We're watching but yeah, I
(33:57):
definitely was like this it's got this similarity.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Yeah. I also liked that the emotional scenes to me
wasn't emotional as emotional so the people like the rock scene,
everybody really really lost it, and I was like, it's cute, though,
I mean, I really loved it. I was like, I
don't know, if it's that emotion, I get it. Maybe
I just don't have the depth to this, so it's
just the same way some of the things in the past.
LOT was like, I get it, it's it's like melancholy,
(34:22):
but it's not mournful to me. Like those are two
different conversations. But yeah, and I have to throw out
because I did talk about Gridley being in all the comedies.
She was also in What We Do in the Shadows
as well, and she was phenomenal that This is why
I say, like, I just know her for the comedy,
so seeing her really be at the forefront of this
(34:43):
was beautiful. I hope we have more movies like this,
and I really love that that that Korean films and
foreign films are coming out. I love that Asian films
are coming out. You see Monkey Man that has nothing
to do with feminism, necessarily but does from what I understand.
But I love seeing like Eastern films come into light
(35:06):
and getting accolades throughout different cultures. Because the US is
such a diverse population, it should it should be reminiscent
to all of this. So being able to watch different
levels cultures is so important. So things like everything everywhere
all at once, Things like Minari, which I haven't watched
because I think that's gonna be too sad for me.
(35:29):
I gotta get into that, but I'm like, I don't
know if already, Things like Past Lives, you know, when
we talked about films like Bended, like Beckham White was
important for what it was like, It's a silly, fun film,
but it's culturally impactful. And seeing things like that is
so impactful because this is the same thing with Past Lives.
There's no big, like political statement here. It's just about
(35:53):
a different cultural life but mixing with what we do,
what we are familiar with. So we have the New
York scene, but we have a different cultural aspect to
this conversation. And I think that's what I love about
this film is that, yes, it's relatable in so many
ways for so many different groups of people. And we
(36:17):
have to have the conversation what it looks like for immigration,
and we talk about the and this is the whole
Koreans believing coming into North America, whether it's Canada or
to the US, it's going to give you more opportunities.
And they say that at the very beginning, because that
was that ideal that we come through and find better
and bigger opportunities here in the US or in Canada,
(36:40):
as this was based. And Selene's song really putting some
depth to that and personality to that conversation.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
So yeah, huh, yeah, highly recommend it. As you say,
I found it more melancholy and then sad, but it
was also just relatable. I think we all have those
feelings of what could have been.
Speaker 2 (37:04):
Yeah, I mean I think about that often, like cool,
what have happened if I didn't get adopted? I define
wouldn't be here?
Speaker 1 (37:09):
Right, I mean I think we all I don't think
we all think about those things. So highly recommend listeners.
If you have any thoughts about this or any suggestions,
we do have a list You can email us at
Stuffy da Mom Stuff at iHeartMedia dot com. You can
find us on Twitter at moms to podcast or on
(37:30):
Instagram and TikTok at stuff one. Never Told You. We're
also on YouTube, but we have a tea public store
and a book you can get wherever you get your books.
Thanks as always to our super producer Christina or exective producer,
my intercontributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you for listening.
Steffan Never Told You is production of by Heart Radio.
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