July 3, 2018 • 41 mins
Beth is working more. Peter jams with another Dad. Bryn’s tantrums get physical. We discuss the story of 13-year-old frozen embryo and play a game of “You Knows What He Said?”
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:12):
Hello, and welcome to We Know His Parenting. I'm Peter Mcnerneyeth.
We are real life parents, UM and married couple, and
this podcast is you know, we're just we're just comparing
notes in the week, trying to figure it out. Beth,
how are you? I'm okay, as you're aware. I've had
(00:32):
a busy couple of weeks, but that means I've been
away from my children a lot, which means all kinds
of kind of evens out. It's not as exhausting as UM.
I don't feel bad for you at all. Oh No,
I'm so busy doing a thing I love away from
my kids all week. I feel very disoriented towards this
(00:53):
podcast right now, because this is like two weeks of
me being gone for most bed times and I I
don't remember where we left off or what's happened, or
who our kids are, or who I am, or what's
going on or yeah, I think do I have a husband?
(01:13):
Last night, I know, I checked checked my phone, I
was I was at work late and I texted you
and I was like, who's getting our kids tonight? Because
I knew you teach on Thursday and I knew I
knew someone was probably getting your kids, and there was
my mom. You had no idea that she was even
kind of new, but I didn't. You have things to
focus on, the exciting things. But it's nice to, um,
(01:36):
not worry about your kids. I've been worrying about our kids.
Boy had a late audition. I had to bring him
into the city. I had to find a babysitter. Yeah,
and that one pretty well. It went well. There's only
been some There's only been two of the most ferocious,
terrifying tantrums that I've ever seen in my entire life.
(01:59):
Other than that is been great. I'll say, um, We've
probably talked about this before, but for people not who
don't live in New York, um, taking your kids into
the city when you're not when you don't live in
the city is a nightmare. It's one of the most exhausting, scary,
annoying things to think about doing. Well, it's I'm I'm
(02:22):
oving like there's it's so much easier than it used
to be now that like I took I took the
car and I found a place to park and Britain
walked the rest of it. I carried Maven. Before it
was like that was not an option. You had to
strap him into the thing and know where you're going.
Blah blah blah. And it was raining, but this was
no problem. I mean, you're just strong enough to do that,
though I think that would terrify me to have two
(02:45):
kids on the streets of New York enough, I'm saying
very strong. I don't feel physically strong enough to carry
Maven and then hold Brin's hand for like multiple blocks
and not and not be totally Trentaly had to walk
half a block. I didn't know, but it was great.
That's still I mean, like if one thing goes wrong
(03:07):
and two kids are trying to sprint in different directions,
but in the middle of the city, they're so like
excited and overwhelmed, they're not going anywhere anyway. What didn't
go great was Bran through a couple of tantrums. And
the first tantrum I forget what day this was, but
you were gone working all day and I bring him home.
(03:28):
He is this terrible habit. He comes in and he's like,
opens the fridge and I'm like, I'm making dinner, a Bran,
no stop grabbing cheese and stuff. And then he freaks
out blah blah, I don't even know what it was,
but it was a tantrum that led to complete and
total rage in this three year old where he's looking
(03:49):
at me, he just literally going it feels like something
hormonal is happening. I definitely think there's a hunger element
or and tired and I'm telling him no and he
can't handle it and he started hitting me. I feel
like other parents have figured out a stronger snack game
(04:10):
than we have, like a well yet. So yesterday, uh
my mom was here and we were picking up those
kids together, and so I was like, oh, I'm gonna
show my mom what a good dad I am. So
I prepared a bowl of fruit for them. So then
I went to pick up. When they came in, they
saw this bowl of fruit, and I was like, I
(04:31):
have time to make dinner. Now, They're not gonna harass me.
And they just ate the fruit in five seconds and
then we're like, we want cheese, we want milk, tears, teers, tears. Yeah,
the healthy snack you give them is just fuel for
them to be more piste off about the lack of dinner. Anyway,
this tantrum builds and it rages, and he starts destroying things.
(04:51):
I try to leave him alone. I'm like and I
try to be calm. Mostly I have a pretty good
tactic where I just like I asked him, I was like,
do you feel angry? And that usually calms him down
and he's like yes, and then we can talk. But
this was he was hitting me and I was like,
I can't let you hit me. So I'm sort of
like blocking his hands and I'm just trying to get
away from him. And then I get away and then
(05:13):
he'll just like tip over the trash can. So I
had to grab him and I was like, you need
a loan time, and I put him in his room
and I closed the door, and then he starts destroying
things in the room and I go in and I'm like,
you need to stop. And this is like forty five minutes.
And then I put him on his bed and he
starts swinging at me, and I just pick up a
pillow and I just start blocking his hits. And this
(05:37):
is enraging him so much worse, to the point where
I am now so emotional and angry and I want to,
you know, fight back, but obviously I'm not going to.
He's three. But I started dodging these punches with a
pillow a little too aggressively, where like it knocks him down.
You've made it into a game, but you knock him over.
(06:00):
He's on his mattress, so he swings with his whole
body and I put the pillow up to hit it,
and he hits it and he falls down and he
goes stop it, Daddy, and then throwing a tantrum, and
they're like stopping as if you came home at this time,
and I go, you need to handle this. And I
(06:21):
went into our room and I later in the bed
and I burst into tears. I have to say it
was on my end a little refreshing to see you
have such a breakdown because it feels like I'm the
one always dealing with those mega tantrums. Um. Well, you're
welcome now you know how I feel. The more you know. Um,
(06:44):
I think one of the funniest things you told me
this week when you told dad on a play date
another dad about one of Brin's epic tantrums. Then he said,
what do you say. I don't know what to tell you. Well,
he was he was so nice about it, but I
was telling him this story and he got real quiet
and still, and then I started to get nervous because
(07:06):
he wasn't say anything, so I kept rambling on about
it to try to make it seem like it wasn't
as big a deal. But the more I talked about it,
the more it sounded like a big deal, and so
he stayed quiet, and then I finally just had to
stop talking, and he said, I don't know what to
tell you, and I was like, I think it's I
wasn't sympathy. It's hard to get a handle on. But
it's so funny that he didn't at any point try
(07:28):
to like offer up any of his own experiences with
his kid or indicate that his kid has tantra. So
he did, he did early early on, But you made
it sound like he was just like, huh, that's weird.
I mean a little bit. He was very supportive. I
(07:49):
think I think the problem was he cared too much
and I was just telling him something I thought was
a funny story, and he had the audacity to sympathize.
Can we talk about your dad play date? Oh? Sure?
So um as you and I know you're very shy
about meeting other dads and what are you talking about?
(08:12):
Despite your performer enthusiasm. You're very shy around real people
in the real world. I just don't want anyone to
look at me. And so you don't have really a
lot of dad friends, except for like your friend who
you knew before he became a dad and you. I
went on the first play date to this house with you,
and I think it was a nice buffer for you.
(08:32):
And then you had a play date where you and
the dad ended up jamming out on guitars together. Yeah,
we went full dad. I will say this was a
joyous afternoon. I went there, He's like, hey, I don't
know how it started. He's like, check out my old guitar.
He's like, you play and I was like, he starts playing,
(08:53):
and I'm so uncomfortable at first, because as a comedian,
I realized how entrenched in my earnestness, earnestness, earnestness should
be mocked in the comedy world, and so and and
(09:14):
that's sort of every everything. Oh my god, what am
I even talking about? So many things? When you're a comedian,
I'm just asking to be made fun of. And I
consider myself a very open and like positive person, but
there's a certain level of earnestness that I'm just not
used to being around. And one of those things is like, hey,
you play guitar, Like, let's play guitar, you know, and
(09:37):
like unless you're amazing and guitar and that like guy
in the corner playing guitar. My impulse is to make
fun of this long story short. You and this dad
jammed out while your son's danced next to you for
what sounds like a long time. And I will admit
it was incredibly fun and joyous and earnest and I'm
(09:57):
not that great at playing guitar and didn't matter because
we have to make up funny songs. You are good
at playing guitar. I don't know why you think that
this This is an ongoing conversation we have had, which
is my wife my wife. I didn't even mean to
my wife, Um is so much more impressed with the
(10:19):
fact that I can play guitar adequately than any of
the comedy that I do. It's the only thing you downplay.
Oh so you're just attracted to my humility. No, I
just think, um, it's a skill that I don't have
playing instruments, or it's not something that comes to me easily.
(10:42):
Like I could work at it and then maybe be
able to play a couple of chords. But you could
pick up a brand new instrument and then in the
course of an afternoon, you like know the basics of
that instrument, which I think is far beyond my skill set.
I I'm going to take this compliment that I'm getting
right now and just end the segment abruptly. This next
(11:09):
segment is called did You Knows? This is a segment
where Peter learns a fact about parenting and shares it
with us. Okay, so this is a crazy birth story
that I read is from the BBC, and I'm gonna
I'm gonna paraphrase here. But so essentially, this woman, um,
I went to a doctor of uh, they're having trouble conceiving,
(11:33):
and so they had intro fertilization from the husband and wife.
This doctor created twelve embryos that are essentially we're all
the same like twins, but twelve. And then they found
the healthiest ones and they implanted three of them. Um,
and as the bregnancy went on, she lost one of
(11:53):
them and ended up having twins. Uh this is and
then they froze the However, many remaining embryos, and then
this like corrupt fertilization doctor left the country and these
eggs like went missing. Uh blah blah blah. Years and
(12:14):
years went later, they got them back that that's not
even an important part of the story. And they thought
out some of these uh eggs, and they implanted a
few of them, and she had like a horrible reaction
to them, and like when into shock and almost died.
And so then they were like, well, this is not safe.
Let's let's put this off. So years and years go by.
(12:39):
It's thirteen years later, and they decided they wanted to
try to try it again. And they have like four
embryos left, so they thaw thought them out, and one
of them is like perfect, and so they they go
with that one, and she gets pregnant and she gives
birth thirteen years later to technically the third triplet. So
(13:04):
this baby has two identical triplets. Um, well, I don't
know if they're identical two of the other triplets who
were born thirteen years before. That's crazy. Yeah, I didn't
know that's how fertilized embryos. I thought they were fertilizing
(13:25):
like multiple eggs or something. How did they you know what.
As I'm saying this, I don't know. That's a great question.
But this is what the article said, is that this
was an identical twin to the first two kids. You
don't know. You're looking it up now, you're going on
the internet. You don't know. Long embryo baby born, healthy
baby girl has been born in the US after spending
(13:45):
the last thirteen years and frozen suspension as an embryo. Uh.
This is thought to be the longest embryo blah blah
blah blah blah. Has two teenage siblings who were conceived
through in vitrare fertilization at the same time, and she
is frozen, which technically makes her a triplet. Technically makes
her a triplet. Okay, it's still very interesting. Okay, but
(14:09):
they don't share DNA like that. I don't think so.
But I mean, the amazing thing is an embryo being
frozen for thirteen years. It's funny because we were talking
about this at work, which is that, you know, there's
all this pressure on women my age to start freezing
their eggs if they haven't hooked a man, and um,
it's not necessarily there's not enough info out there to
(14:33):
know if freezing your eggs is going to be successful
at this point, or like if the eggs are gonna last.
There's just like, um, so it's interesting to hear that
that experience. What would you do if we had triplets?
I mean, like now that Brennan Maven, we accidentally get
(14:54):
pregnant again and you find out you're having triplets, It's
hard to imagine not losing my mind. Um, all parents
of twins triplets, bless you. I don't, I will say
(15:17):
and not. I'm sure this is going to be maybe
controversial for some of our listeners, but I would genuinely
consider abortion. Oh boy, We're going there, depending on the time,
depending on like the timing of us finding this out,
and how bad I wanted this pregnancy to begin with.
(15:37):
That triplets is insane. My mom is a twin and
she has two older siblings besides her twin brother. So
I think when they were born, my grandmother had four
kids under five or six under five. Yeah, I just
(16:02):
I know you can survive twins and triplets. I just
I don't want to be the one to prove it. Hey,
how would you like to prove something incredible? You know,
it's funny is when I was pregnant with maybe and
I had a um a paranoid fear that I was
(16:24):
pregnant with twins, and I also I think what happened
was like cracked an egg and it was a double
yolked egg, and I'd never had that in my whole life,
and I was like, this is a sign it's gonna
be twins. And I was like, we're screwed. And so
I went to the midwife saying like that I was
worried it was twins, and they were doing the sonogram
and she was like, it's really not like like twins,
(16:45):
I'm not only seeing one baby, and like, but she
said it to me in a way where she thought
I was going to be disappointed, Like she was like,
I'm sorry, I'm just really I think there's only one
in there. And I was like, no, that's great. I
was bringing it up because I'm scared to death, like not,
I very just thinkly remember being younger and cracking open
(17:07):
an egg and there was two yolks and being so
upset by him because it was just the clearest like, oh,
by the way, you're eating chicken embryos, like this is
a living thing. And that whole thought. I it's something
I ignored my whole life, and that was just too real.
(17:28):
You ever cracked open a bloody egg? I did, and
that was when I was like nine months pregnant with
Brin and it was terrifying. I was like, this is
a sign everything's gonna go bad. I'm going to go
into labor. It's the end. Like your egg future telling
track record is crap. Well, the timing of those eggs
was horrible, and I will say, in retrospect, I think
(17:49):
that the first one was a sign that labor was imminent,
and the second one with the two with the double yolks,
was just a sign of pregnancy or like fertility, you
can make an argument about any egg. I have never
in my life had either of those situations happened when
I was not pregnant. That's proof. Now it's time for
(18:19):
you know what he said? This is where one of
us gives the other one a series of Britan quotes,
only one of which is a real quote. And I
don't have one this week. I've been even though I've
been around our kids more, I have not been ready.
Because that was a great attention, Okay, which give me
the options. Which of these things did Brian say to me?
(18:44):
The first one is you fucked up? This possible, second
one is you're bugging me out. The third one is,
I guess the first one seems more likely. The first
third one is you suck. You fucked up, you're bugging
me out, you suck. Mm hmm. Pause. Our daughter is crying.
(19:10):
We're recording at night. Be right back, okay, okay, okay,
now we need to talk about which just happened. So
we were interrupted by our normally do this in the morning.
We're recording at night. So I go in to the room.
It's very hot today, and so I go in there.
The light is on. That's why Maven was crying. Brian.
(19:31):
Very recently he stopped using his pacifire because it broke,
and so he has taken her pacifier. He's in his
bed with a fully loaded up nighttime pull up diaper,
He's got the pacifier. The air is off, he turned
off the air conditioning. It's a million degrees and Maven's crying.
(19:52):
What is going on in here? Like I go and
I I changed his diaper, I give it back the pacifier,
and then I go and I get him a wet
washcloth and he puts on his head and this is
revelatory for him. He loves this thing. But it's a
bit sad in there. And I explained to him that
(20:12):
the air actually is the thing that makes it not hot,
and he understood. Anyway, you fucked up, you bugging out,
you suck. Those are my options. You sucked up, you're
bugging me out, you suck. Okay. Unfortunately, well I'm gonna
(20:34):
eliminate you. Bugging out is not something either one of
us have ever said. Ever. I'm fairly sure, nor really
is you suck. That's not something we would say. You
sucked up is definitely something we would say. And therefore
that is my guest. It was your question because he
(20:55):
actually said two of these things, which is, he said
you fucked up, and he said you're bugging me out.
And I think he heard you're bugging me out on
the story Pirates podcast in a song. But the funny
story behind the first one is, um, he was watching
(21:16):
YouTube in my bedroom before bed and I wanted my
turn favorite thing. He wanted to turn it off. I
turned off the TV and quietly under his breath, he goes,
you fucked up. It was really really threatening. I I
don't know where he heard this. I am going to
(21:39):
guess from his friend at school. There's a there's a
kid at school that teaches him things. I'm not gonna
say the name anyway, I know who you are, but um,
I thought it was kind of funny. And then later
the same night he said, wait, wait, how did you react?
Did you acknowledge this? What happened was, I said, what
did you say? And he put his hand on his
(22:01):
mouth and he was like nothing. I didn't say anything.
So he knows it's bad, which further leads me to
believe he heard it at school, because I feel like
there was an incident behind this. He knows, Yeah, he
knows it's bad. I heard him swear once and I
we've talked about it on this podcast already. Apparently it
did not have that much of effect because he said
(22:21):
it again. But I like that he was scared about
it and wouldn't repeat it. There's a proper amount of shame. Yeah,
you know what, swear all you want, but be scared
to swear in front of your parents. But then later
that night he said, you're bugging me out, and I
thought it was hysterical. You're bugging me out. Yeah, because no,
whoever says that that's not on the Story Parts podcast,
(22:44):
I think it is. No. I'm pretty confident the person
that records it would know more than the person who
doesn't listen. I don't think you remember every casual aside
on the podcast to be surprised how obsessed I am
with myself? Well, I don't think it was you saying that. Oh,
then it's likely I don't listen to other people's minds.
(23:07):
This next segment is called would you Know? This is
where we posit a hypothetical parenting situation to one another
and how we would handle it. Beth, I got another
good one from our friends on the internet. This one
comes to us from Harry. Harry wants to know. I'm
gonna give this to you, Beth. Harry wants to know.
Would you knows what to do? Bonus points Harry for
(23:28):
using the proper formatting of the question. Would you knows
what to do? If your infant was taller than you
and could thus access areas of your home forbidden uh,
forbidden to you, forbidden to you above the refrigerator, top
of the Christmas tree, et cetera. Why are those things
(23:50):
forbidden to me, Harry proof read or I should learn
to read? This is didn't we have another one where
you're your kid has like superpowers? This is similar. Now
your kid is enormous, like you said, now your kids enormous,
Like it's the same kid that had heat vision. I'm
(24:11):
sick of this kid. Um okay, so the um tall kids. Okay,
I'm assuming this kid still has the same brain function
of a child. And yeah, they're just huge. They're just enormous.
So what I would say is I would continue the
(24:32):
child proof blocks we currently have on our cabinets, but
I would extend them to all the cabinets. What is
the what is the most dangerous thing that they could
get to now that they that they can't get to
now that they could when they're a giant infant. I mean, well,
right now, they're kind of Brent's kind of already learned
to get on the counter, which means he's within reach
(24:54):
of a lot of knives. Oh yeah, he went into
the kitchen tonight and came back with a slice of
pizza and it that was in a place I did
not think. You. Yeah, he's figuring it out. Um, there's okay.
The cabinets up high actually are like not that bad.
It's like the mixer. And this is not a problem.
(25:18):
Harry is taller, is he stronger than us? I this
question should be less about the cabinets and should be
more about how this kid's not going to kill you. Yeah,
that's true. You know what, he can take this, He
can take the star off the top of the Christmas tree.
All he wants is he gonna strangle me to death? Yeah,
(25:38):
suffocate you. I already have enough trouble with both of
our kids elbowing me in the boob every single day.
I got kicked in the crotch so comically hard tonight
and I literally brand was sitting on the counter and
so he didn't mean to, but he just kicked me
exactly crotch level. And I actually when you kicked me
(25:59):
in the nuts. And he's never heard that term before.
And I've never screamed that a lot before my whole life,
and I was embarrassed to repeat it just now. He's
definitely pocketed that one. He's like he could feel that
it was funny but also a serious thing that happened.
You know the problem with him is that he's really
really should this be a segment Beth does problem with him.
(26:22):
He's just really smart about language, and he remembers people's
names very well upon hearing them once, and like if
he hears a new phrase that has a certain ring
to it that he doesn't recognize, you can see him
doing the math in his head, like I'm gonna remember
this one. Well. He's exactly that age where if he
chooses to be interested in something, he absorbs all of it.
(26:45):
My dad bought them this book. It's called Hello Hello.
It's full of animals, obscure animals from the world. He
knows every single name because we read it every night.
That's the rainbow gamma, and that's the sun to pangolin,
and that's the rhinoceros hornbill uh, And because he's just
chosen to be interested in it, and I think phrasing.
(27:08):
He's very interested in just how people say things and
how people gesticulate. Well, what's funny about that is that
book he has memorized the way that you have read
it to him, and neither of us really knows how
to pronounce those animals. But I tried to read it
to him tonight and he kept correcting me on the pronunciation. Oh,
(27:28):
I'm sure you did it all wrong. I was like,
you don't even know, Yes, we do. We've read this
book every night. We then look it up on Google
on my phone and we look at real pictures of them.
We've we've did you play YouTube videos that on the
pronunciation of their names. I don't care what the truth is.
(27:48):
We have our own reality that we've built and we are.
I'm fine with that. I just think if I'm going
to be corrected, I should get the opt out of
reading those books. You can handle that time. I didn't
tell you that. First of all, I almost always do.
And you don't have to read that book. It's really
good though. A sound up pangling. It's an armored beast,
(28:13):
a rainbow gamma, long beaked a chidna. Now it's time
for listeners want and knows. This is where we dive
into some listener mail and UH talk about it, answer
some questions or react. Now. We got a lot of
(28:37):
feedback from our Past Lives episode. A lot of people
had opinions and in all directions and Ah, there were
two emails that that jumped out as just the epitome
of you and me and Uh, I wanted to briefly
(28:58):
you could see right away to one of these listeners. Um,
I'll claim as one of my own, and which one
is is more a beef this first one. And I
can't read this whole thing because it is so long,
and I love every piece of it. But this is
from Katie, and I'm gonna skip around a little bit.
But Katie writes on Peter's call for backup, which I did,
(29:19):
I said, back me up first. On the idea that
it's possible that Bryn has a past life because anything
is possible possible. Logically, for every unknown but possible scenario,
there is an equal and opposite unknown but possible. These
two statements are equally valid. It is possible that Britain
had a past life. It is possible that Bryn did
not have a past life, which means that possible has
(29:42):
no bearing on what is real. Just because something is
not impossible does not mean that it is probable. Therefore,
Peter's conclusion, concession that it is possible Britain had a
past life, is just as important to point to the
argument as the idea that we are all in the
matrix or Elvis is still alive. Moving on, why your
best thoughts on past life so unreasonable, and her conclusion
(30:05):
that people have past lives demonstrably false. The I could
go on and on and and I just think it's weird.
This person says that it is possible, but then says
that it's demonstrable false. It's like, not, well, I'll go on.
The way a logical argument works, which is something you love,
(30:27):
is a person presents a number of premises which, if
all true, results in a conclusion that must also be true.
But if any premise in the argument is invalid, the
conclusion is also invalid. A logical fallacy is the use
of invalid or otherwise faulty reasoning in the construction of
an argument. Best argument commits many fallacies, the most important
(30:49):
of which I have highlighted here below. And there are
several sections that this person sounds very fun to be around.
Anecdotal fallacy when a proponent uses a person experience as
evidence instead of reliable and falsifiable data. Now listen, I'm
not reading this whole thing because we literally don't have
enough time, but I'm also cutting out the part that
(31:10):
makes it clear that it's very tongue in cheek and
just a logical argument that this person enjoys writing out
and boy I had a nice exchange back and forth
because I this is also very much how I think.
I just don't understand why these science nazis like act
as though science hasn't discovered things over time, Like we
(31:33):
haven't always known things as we now know them. Sure,
so to say that like certain things are impossible because
we haven't we don't currently have evidence for them is
so bizarre to be well, I think it's not saying
that it's saying that this thing must be true because
(31:55):
of anecdotal evidence. I didn't say it must be true.
I feel like this whole argument is being twisted on me.
I was just saying I don't like to be attacked
for believing it's possible. I'm not the one who is
a d percent shore of my opinion. Well, I will
say the back and forth that I had with Katie,
who was lovely went on to talk about how how
(32:19):
to not be jerks about it. But anyway, the point
is not to to tell you you're wrong. I just
want to give you a taste of some of the
feedback we've got. Now. I want to don't I'm being
accused of logical fallacy I think is well. I mean, anyway,
here's the different email we got from Valentina. I'll read
(32:42):
the entire email, this one dear Peter and Beth. Correct
me if I'm wrong, But Beth seems like an old soul,
and Peter seems like a new one. How do you
reconcile this as partners and his parents, well, Valentina as
an old soul. It requires a lot of patients entering
thing with these new souls. Um, boy, it's I believe
(33:06):
it's hard. It's some of some of the emails we get.
It's always hard to read tone online. And I'm pretty
sure that these are all very positive. But it's yeah,
this one reads very positive and earnest to me. But
I'm curious, is that how earnest it is and whether
it knows, whether this person knows how well. I don't
(33:30):
want to say something condescent. Yeah, I don't want to
be well, of course, it's so, it's a it's so
belittling to be called a new soul, because one, it's
ridiculous that because there's no such thing as a soul
according to me. And I know you don't agree. In
a lot of people don't agree but it's just like, Oh,
(33:52):
you don't believe in this, so you must be a naive.
Here's an example of why I actually fully I this,
and I think we've talked about this maybe on the
podcast before, is that you're an experiential learner and I'm
more of a planner. And I, for if I was
to make a recipe install a hook on the wall,
(34:16):
something I would maybe have done some research or have
read up on it. You just dive headfirst into things,
just busting down walls, making a mess, and I like
to fix my mistakes. You like to live and learn,
and I would prefer to create less chaos in my wake.
(34:37):
And I think that is an old soul new soul thing.
So the logical argument is that you've led more lives
than I have, and that's why, you know, I do
believe that we've all led multiple lives. And I think
that we have certain skills that it does not logically
makes sense to me that we've picked them up in
(34:58):
one lifetime. For example, I think you know, growing up,
I was really good at drawing. You are really good
at music. I think that when something comes naturally to you,
like to you like that. I think that you've picked
it up in a past life. Well, I respect that
point of view, and I do not agree in it
(35:20):
is that anyway whatsoever? Well, you'll see on the other side, Okay,
oh boy, let's not ah, this is just us dancing
around death. Uh and um, I made my peace with
death by never talking about it, and then here we are.
This My point of view allows me to not fear death,
(35:41):
and I like that. This is what actually think the
point of all this is and where I have learned
to respect our differences, is that everybody's dealing with the
fact that we're going to die and we don't know
what's going to happen. That's terrifying and it's paralyzing two
feel so helpless. Everybody needs to find a way to
(36:02):
deal with this thing. And my way is making a
decision that, oh, you know what, there's not you die,
You're done. That's that, there's nothing I'm gonna do about it. Now,
let's change the topic. And it actually does make me
happy and comfortable that I don't need to deal with
that anymore. You this dealing with the way that you
deal with it makes you really happy and comfortable and
(36:24):
and and it makes you feel and I know. I
just don't like if I was just living for this
one life, Like I just feel like I would live
so selfishly and like, I mean, there's a there's a
virtue to being in the moment. But I think I
like having a long view of things. I like feeling
like I was put here for a reason and that
(36:47):
it's like a drop in the bucket of history that
like is hopefully serving some higher purpose going forward, and
not just like me as a person trying to get
as much joy out of this life before I die.
It's so funny because I'm like I ultimately I think
(37:10):
it's all totally meaningless. But that doesn't that doesn't mean
that doesn't equal like, well, I can do whatever I want,
because if I did that, my life would be miserable
because people would hate me. And so being a good
person is the best way for me to leave a
live a happy life a while I'm here. And you
(37:33):
know what, ultimately we don't know. Let's be cool anyway,
this is a podcast about parenting. Yeah, but I I
just want to say thank you to everyone to reach out.
Other people wrote in a lot of controversy some something
else not so nice. Um Tom said Beth is dumb
(37:53):
and I'm sexist, and that's a perfectly valid point of
view too, is it anyway, same person said both of
those things. Yeah. Well, somebody wrote in and this is
one where I can't tell how serious they were being
with the subject line was you're both dumb or something
(38:14):
like that. And because I said, Dad's backed me up. Um,
she said that's the sex point of view, that only
dads can be logical and only moms can be flighty.
I'll accept that criticism, but I was trying to make
fun of myself for being a stereotypical type of dad
who needs to explain everything. Uh, but fair enough and
(38:38):
uh and she thinks you're stupid just for now. There
were reasons, but people will say anything when they're safely
behind their computers. If you're listening and you're a nice person,
please rate and review our podcast. It's true. Oh yeah, well,
let's not get into that. But you have somebody reviewed
(39:00):
our podcast after only hearing the ad and did not
like that. You belittled me in the ad and said
she doesn't this is this was great. I need to
share this and we shouldn't get into trolling or whatever.
But this person gave us one star because the woman
belittles the man in the trailer. And you also have
(39:23):
another series that portrays portrays men as dumb, fumbling and incompetence.
Another series I think you're talking about Reductress, But but
listen said portrays men is dumb, fumbling, and incompetence. If
you're gonna call somebody incompetent, use the right word. I mean,
(39:44):
I'm already getting like the normal hate by virtue of
you being on this podcast and not being singularly female.
So oh yeah, I'm got a little taste of your
feminist hate man, and I feel good about it. Boy,
we shouldn't focus on it because so many of you
(40:04):
have said such a wonderfully positive things, and we love all.
Most of you are great. This is just a fun
fraction of the I even think that person who called
you dumb was being a little funny because she did
say Aside from that, I really I've really been enjoying
the show. I shouldn't have said she's not fun. She's
probably very fun. Yeah, you're all great. You listen at all.
(40:27):
You can say whatever you want to us. We're putting
ourselves out there, we're asking for it. Really oh boy.
We love you all and this has been listeners one
of those all right, this has been another episode of
We Know His Parenting. If you want to send us
any questions or if you have any would you knows scenarios,
(40:50):
you can send those to us That We Knows Pod
at gmail dot com or find us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook,
We Knows Pod. Bethan I mean you want plug you
can find me on Twitter at beth new You can
find me on Twitter, Nick nn m I c any end.
Check out the Story Parts podcast, check out The Reductor's Minute,
(41:11):
and we'll see you next time. Yeah bye,
Hello, and welcome to We Know His Parenting. I'm Peter Mcnerneyeth.
We are real life parents, UM and married couple, and
this podcast is you know, we're just we're just comparing
notes in the week, trying to figure it out. Beth,
how are you? I'm okay, as you're aware. I've had
(00:32):
a busy couple of weeks, but that means I've been
away from my children a lot, which means all kinds
of kind of evens out. It's not as exhausting as UM.
I don't feel bad for you at all. Oh No,
I'm so busy doing a thing I love away from
my kids all week. I feel very disoriented towards this
(00:53):
podcast right now, because this is like two weeks of
me being gone for most bed times and I I
don't remember where we left off or what's happened, or
who our kids are, or who I am, or what's
going on or yeah, I think do I have a husband?
(01:13):
Last night, I know, I checked checked my phone, I
was I was at work late and I texted you
and I was like, who's getting our kids tonight? Because
I knew you teach on Thursday and I knew I
knew someone was probably getting your kids, and there was
my mom. You had no idea that she was even
kind of new, but I didn't. You have things to
focus on, the exciting things. But it's nice to, um,
(01:36):
not worry about your kids. I've been worrying about our kids.
Boy had a late audition. I had to bring him
into the city. I had to find a babysitter. Yeah,
and that one pretty well. It went well. There's only
been some There's only been two of the most ferocious,
terrifying tantrums that I've ever seen in my entire life.
(01:59):
Other than that is been great. I'll say, um, We've
probably talked about this before, but for people not who
don't live in New York, um, taking your kids into
the city when you're not when you don't live in
the city is a nightmare. It's one of the most exhausting, scary,
annoying things to think about doing. Well, it's I'm I'm
(02:22):
oving like there's it's so much easier than it used
to be now that like I took I took the
car and I found a place to park and Britain
walked the rest of it. I carried Maven. Before it
was like that was not an option. You had to
strap him into the thing and know where you're going.
Blah blah blah. And it was raining, but this was
no problem. I mean, you're just strong enough to do that,
though I think that would terrify me to have two
(02:45):
kids on the streets of New York enough, I'm saying
very strong. I don't feel physically strong enough to carry
Maven and then hold Brin's hand for like multiple blocks
and not and not be totally Trentaly had to walk
half a block. I didn't know, but it was great.
That's still I mean, like if one thing goes wrong
(03:07):
and two kids are trying to sprint in different directions,
but in the middle of the city, they're so like
excited and overwhelmed, they're not going anywhere anyway. What didn't
go great was Bran through a couple of tantrums. And
the first tantrum I forget what day this was, but
you were gone working all day and I bring him home.
(03:28):
He is this terrible habit. He comes in and he's like,
opens the fridge and I'm like, I'm making dinner, a Bran,
no stop grabbing cheese and stuff. And then he freaks
out blah blah, I don't even know what it was,
but it was a tantrum that led to complete and
total rage in this three year old where he's looking
(03:49):
at me, he just literally going it feels like something
hormonal is happening. I definitely think there's a hunger element
or and tired and I'm telling him no and he
can't handle it and he started hitting me. I feel
like other parents have figured out a stronger snack game
(04:10):
than we have, like a well yet. So yesterday, uh
my mom was here and we were picking up those
kids together, and so I was like, oh, I'm gonna
show my mom what a good dad I am. So
I prepared a bowl of fruit for them. So then
I went to pick up. When they came in, they
saw this bowl of fruit, and I was like, I
(04:31):
have time to make dinner. Now, They're not gonna harass me.
And they just ate the fruit in five seconds and
then we're like, we want cheese, we want milk, tears, teers, tears. Yeah,
the healthy snack you give them is just fuel for
them to be more piste off about the lack of dinner. Anyway,
this tantrum builds and it rages, and he starts destroying things.
(04:51):
I try to leave him alone. I'm like and I
try to be calm. Mostly I have a pretty good
tactic where I just like I asked him, I was like,
do you feel angry? And that usually calms him down
and he's like yes, and then we can talk. But
this was he was hitting me and I was like,
I can't let you hit me. So I'm sort of
like blocking his hands and I'm just trying to get
away from him. And then I get away and then
(05:13):
he'll just like tip over the trash can. So I
had to grab him and I was like, you need
a loan time, and I put him in his room
and I closed the door, and then he starts destroying
things in the room and I go in and I'm like,
you need to stop. And this is like forty five minutes.
And then I put him on his bed and he
starts swinging at me, and I just pick up a
pillow and I just start blocking his hits. And this
(05:37):
is enraging him so much worse, to the point where
I am now so emotional and angry and I want to,
you know, fight back, but obviously I'm not going to.
He's three. But I started dodging these punches with a
pillow a little too aggressively, where like it knocks him down.
You've made it into a game, but you knock him over.
(06:00):
He's on his mattress, so he swings with his whole
body and I put the pillow up to hit it,
and he hits it and he falls down and he
goes stop it, Daddy, and then throwing a tantrum, and
they're like stopping as if you came home at this time,
and I go, you need to handle this. And I
(06:21):
went into our room and I later in the bed
and I burst into tears. I have to say it
was on my end a little refreshing to see you
have such a breakdown because it feels like I'm the
one always dealing with those mega tantrums. Um. Well, you're
welcome now you know how I feel. The more you know. Um,
(06:44):
I think one of the funniest things you told me
this week when you told dad on a play date
another dad about one of Brin's epic tantrums. Then he said,
what do you say. I don't know what to tell you. Well,
he was he was so nice about it, but I
was telling him this story and he got real quiet
and still, and then I started to get nervous because
(07:06):
he wasn't say anything, so I kept rambling on about
it to try to make it seem like it wasn't
as big a deal. But the more I talked about it,
the more it sounded like a big deal, and so
he stayed quiet, and then I finally just had to
stop talking, and he said, I don't know what to
tell you, and I was like, I think it's I
wasn't sympathy. It's hard to get a handle on. But
it's so funny that he didn't at any point try
(07:28):
to like offer up any of his own experiences with
his kid or indicate that his kid has tantra. So
he did, he did early early on, But you made
it sound like he was just like, huh, that's weird.
I mean a little bit. He was very supportive. I
(07:49):
think I think the problem was he cared too much
and I was just telling him something I thought was
a funny story, and he had the audacity to sympathize.
Can we talk about your dad play date? Oh? Sure?
So um as you and I know you're very shy
about meeting other dads and what are you talking about?
(08:12):
Despite your performer enthusiasm. You're very shy around real people
in the real world. I just don't want anyone to
look at me. And so you don't have really a
lot of dad friends, except for like your friend who
you knew before he became a dad and you. I
went on the first play date to this house with you,
and I think it was a nice buffer for you.
(08:32):
And then you had a play date where you and
the dad ended up jamming out on guitars together. Yeah,
we went full dad. I will say this was a
joyous afternoon. I went there, He's like, hey, I don't
know how it started. He's like, check out my old guitar.
He's like, you play and I was like, he starts playing,
(08:53):
and I'm so uncomfortable at first, because as a comedian,
I realized how entrenched in my earnestness, earnestness, earnestness should
be mocked in the comedy world, and so and and
(09:14):
that's sort of every everything. Oh my god, what am
I even talking about? So many things? When you're a comedian,
I'm just asking to be made fun of. And I
consider myself a very open and like positive person, but
there's a certain level of earnestness that I'm just not
used to being around. And one of those things is like, hey,
you play guitar, Like, let's play guitar, you know, and
(09:37):
like unless you're amazing and guitar and that like guy
in the corner playing guitar. My impulse is to make
fun of this long story short. You and this dad
jammed out while your son's danced next to you for
what sounds like a long time. And I will admit
it was incredibly fun and joyous and earnest and I'm
(09:57):
not that great at playing guitar and didn't matter because
we have to make up funny songs. You are good
at playing guitar. I don't know why you think that
this This is an ongoing conversation we have had, which
is my wife my wife. I didn't even mean to
my wife, Um is so much more impressed with the
(10:19):
fact that I can play guitar adequately than any of
the comedy that I do. It's the only thing you downplay.
Oh so you're just attracted to my humility. No, I
just think, um, it's a skill that I don't have
playing instruments, or it's not something that comes to me easily.
(10:42):
Like I could work at it and then maybe be
able to play a couple of chords. But you could
pick up a brand new instrument and then in the
course of an afternoon, you like know the basics of
that instrument, which I think is far beyond my skill set.
I I'm going to take this compliment that I'm getting
right now and just end the segment abruptly. This next
(11:09):
segment is called did You Knows? This is a segment
where Peter learns a fact about parenting and shares it
with us. Okay, so this is a crazy birth story
that I read is from the BBC, and I'm gonna
I'm gonna paraphrase here. But so essentially, this woman, um,
I went to a doctor of uh, they're having trouble conceiving,
(11:33):
and so they had intro fertilization from the husband and wife.
This doctor created twelve embryos that are essentially we're all
the same like twins, but twelve. And then they found
the healthiest ones and they implanted three of them. Um,
and as the bregnancy went on, she lost one of
(11:53):
them and ended up having twins. Uh this is and
then they froze the However, many remaining embryos, and then
this like corrupt fertilization doctor left the country and these
eggs like went missing. Uh blah blah blah. Years and
(12:14):
years went later, they got them back that that's not
even an important part of the story. And they thought
out some of these uh eggs, and they implanted a
few of them, and she had like a horrible reaction
to them, and like when into shock and almost died.
And so then they were like, well, this is not safe.
Let's let's put this off. So years and years go by.
(12:39):
It's thirteen years later, and they decided they wanted to
try to try it again. And they have like four
embryos left, so they thaw thought them out, and one
of them is like perfect, and so they they go
with that one, and she gets pregnant and she gives
birth thirteen years later to technically the third triplet. So
(13:04):
this baby has two identical triplets. Um, well, I don't
know if they're identical two of the other triplets who
were born thirteen years before. That's crazy. Yeah, I didn't
know that's how fertilized embryos. I thought they were fertilizing
(13:25):
like multiple eggs or something. How did they you know what.
As I'm saying this, I don't know. That's a great question.
But this is what the article said, is that this
was an identical twin to the first two kids. You
don't know. You're looking it up now, you're going on
the internet. You don't know. Long embryo baby born, healthy
baby girl has been born in the US after spending
(13:45):
the last thirteen years and frozen suspension as an embryo. Uh.
This is thought to be the longest embryo blah blah
blah blah blah. Has two teenage siblings who were conceived
through in vitrare fertilization at the same time, and she
is frozen, which technically makes her a triplet. Technically makes
her a triplet. Okay, it's still very interesting. Okay, but
(14:09):
they don't share DNA like that. I don't think so.
But I mean, the amazing thing is an embryo being
frozen for thirteen years. It's funny because we were talking
about this at work, which is that, you know, there's
all this pressure on women my age to start freezing
their eggs if they haven't hooked a man, and um,
it's not necessarily there's not enough info out there to
(14:33):
know if freezing your eggs is going to be successful
at this point, or like if the eggs are gonna last.
There's just like, um, so it's interesting to hear that
that experience. What would you do if we had triplets?
I mean, like now that Brennan Maven, we accidentally get
(14:54):
pregnant again and you find out you're having triplets, It's
hard to imagine not losing my mind. Um, all parents
of twins triplets, bless you. I don't, I will say
(15:17):
and not. I'm sure this is going to be maybe
controversial for some of our listeners, but I would genuinely
consider abortion. Oh boy, We're going there, depending on the time,
depending on like the timing of us finding this out,
and how bad I wanted this pregnancy to begin with.
(15:37):
That triplets is insane. My mom is a twin and
she has two older siblings besides her twin brother. So
I think when they were born, my grandmother had four
kids under five or six under five. Yeah, I just
(16:02):
I know you can survive twins and triplets. I just
I don't want to be the one to prove it. Hey,
how would you like to prove something incredible? You know,
it's funny is when I was pregnant with maybe and
I had a um a paranoid fear that I was
(16:24):
pregnant with twins, and I also I think what happened
was like cracked an egg and it was a double
yolked egg, and I'd never had that in my whole life,
and I was like, this is a sign it's gonna
be twins. And I was like, we're screwed. And so
I went to the midwife saying like that I was
worried it was twins, and they were doing the sonogram
and she was like, it's really not like like twins,
(16:45):
I'm not only seeing one baby, and like, but she
said it to me in a way where she thought
I was going to be disappointed, Like she was like,
I'm sorry, I'm just really I think there's only one
in there. And I was like, no, that's great. I
was bringing it up because I'm scared to death, like not,
I very just thinkly remember being younger and cracking open
(17:07):
an egg and there was two yolks and being so
upset by him because it was just the clearest like, oh,
by the way, you're eating chicken embryos, like this is
a living thing. And that whole thought. I it's something
I ignored my whole life, and that was just too real.
(17:28):
You ever cracked open a bloody egg? I did, and
that was when I was like nine months pregnant with
Brin and it was terrifying. I was like, this is
a sign everything's gonna go bad. I'm going to go
into labor. It's the end. Like your egg future telling
track record is crap. Well, the timing of those eggs
was horrible, and I will say, in retrospect, I think
(17:49):
that the first one was a sign that labor was imminent,
and the second one with the two with the double yolks,
was just a sign of pregnancy or like fertility, you
can make an argument about any egg. I have never
in my life had either of those situations happened when
I was not pregnant. That's proof. Now it's time for
(18:19):
you know what he said? This is where one of
us gives the other one a series of Britan quotes,
only one of which is a real quote. And I
don't have one this week. I've been even though I've
been around our kids more, I have not been ready.
Because that was a great attention, Okay, which give me
the options. Which of these things did Brian say to me?
(18:44):
The first one is you fucked up? This possible, second
one is you're bugging me out. The third one is,
I guess the first one seems more likely. The first
third one is you suck. You fucked up, you're bugging
me out, you suck. Mm hmm. Pause. Our daughter is crying.
(19:10):
We're recording at night. Be right back, okay, okay, okay,
now we need to talk about which just happened. So
we were interrupted by our normally do this in the morning.
We're recording at night. So I go in to the room.
It's very hot today, and so I go in there.
The light is on. That's why Maven was crying. Brian.
(19:31):
Very recently he stopped using his pacifire because it broke,
and so he has taken her pacifier. He's in his
bed with a fully loaded up nighttime pull up diaper,
He's got the pacifier. The air is off, he turned
off the air conditioning. It's a million degrees and Maven's crying.
(19:52):
What is going on in here? Like I go and
I I changed his diaper, I give it back the pacifier,
and then I go and I get him a wet
washcloth and he puts on his head and this is
revelatory for him. He loves this thing. But it's a
bit sad in there. And I explained to him that
(20:12):
the air actually is the thing that makes it not hot,
and he understood. Anyway, you fucked up, you bugging out,
you suck. Those are my options. You sucked up, you're
bugging me out, you suck. Okay. Unfortunately, well I'm gonna
(20:34):
eliminate you. Bugging out is not something either one of
us have ever said. Ever. I'm fairly sure, nor really
is you suck. That's not something we would say. You
sucked up is definitely something we would say. And therefore
that is my guest. It was your question because he
(20:55):
actually said two of these things, which is, he said
you fucked up, and he said you're bugging me out.
And I think he heard you're bugging me out on
the story Pirates podcast in a song. But the funny
story behind the first one is, um, he was watching
(21:16):
YouTube in my bedroom before bed and I wanted my
turn favorite thing. He wanted to turn it off. I
turned off the TV and quietly under his breath, he goes,
you fucked up. It was really really threatening. I I
don't know where he heard this. I am going to
(21:39):
guess from his friend at school. There's a there's a
kid at school that teaches him things. I'm not gonna
say the name anyway, I know who you are, but um,
I thought it was kind of funny. And then later
the same night he said, wait, wait, how did you react?
Did you acknowledge this? What happened was, I said, what
did you say? And he put his hand on his
(22:01):
mouth and he was like nothing. I didn't say anything.
So he knows it's bad, which further leads me to
believe he heard it at school, because I feel like
there was an incident behind this. He knows, Yeah, he
knows it's bad. I heard him swear once and I
we've talked about it on this podcast already. Apparently it
did not have that much of effect because he said
(22:21):
it again. But I like that he was scared about
it and wouldn't repeat it. There's a proper amount of shame. Yeah,
you know what, swear all you want, but be scared
to swear in front of your parents. But then later
that night he said, you're bugging me out, and I
thought it was hysterical. You're bugging me out. Yeah, because no,
whoever says that that's not on the Story Parts podcast,
(22:44):
I think it is. No. I'm pretty confident the person
that records it would know more than the person who
doesn't listen. I don't think you remember every casual aside
on the podcast to be surprised how obsessed I am
with myself? Well, I don't think it was you saying that. Oh,
then it's likely I don't listen to other people's minds.
(23:07):
This next segment is called would you Know? This is
where we posit a hypothetical parenting situation to one another
and how we would handle it. Beth, I got another
good one from our friends on the internet. This one
comes to us from Harry. Harry wants to know. I'm
gonna give this to you, Beth. Harry wants to know.
Would you knows what to do? Bonus points Harry for
(23:28):
using the proper formatting of the question. Would you knows
what to do? If your infant was taller than you
and could thus access areas of your home forbidden uh,
forbidden to you, forbidden to you above the refrigerator, top
of the Christmas tree, et cetera. Why are those things
(23:50):
forbidden to me, Harry proof read or I should learn
to read? This is didn't we have another one where
you're your kid has like superpowers? This is similar. Now
your kid is enormous, like you said, now your kids enormous,
Like it's the same kid that had heat vision. I'm
(24:11):
sick of this kid. Um okay, so the um tall kids. Okay,
I'm assuming this kid still has the same brain function
of a child. And yeah, they're just huge. They're just enormous.
So what I would say is I would continue the
(24:32):
child proof blocks we currently have on our cabinets, but
I would extend them to all the cabinets. What is
the what is the most dangerous thing that they could
get to now that they that they can't get to
now that they could when they're a giant infant. I mean, well,
right now, they're kind of Brent's kind of already learned
to get on the counter, which means he's within reach
(24:54):
of a lot of knives. Oh yeah, he went into
the kitchen tonight and came back with a slice of
pizza and it that was in a place I did
not think. You. Yeah, he's figuring it out. Um, there's okay.
The cabinets up high actually are like not that bad.
It's like the mixer. And this is not a problem.
(25:18):
Harry is taller, is he stronger than us? I this
question should be less about the cabinets and should be
more about how this kid's not going to kill you. Yeah,
that's true. You know what, he can take this, He
can take the star off the top of the Christmas tree.
All he wants is he gonna strangle me to death? Yeah,
(25:38):
suffocate you. I already have enough trouble with both of
our kids elbowing me in the boob every single day.
I got kicked in the crotch so comically hard tonight
and I literally brand was sitting on the counter and
so he didn't mean to, but he just kicked me
exactly crotch level. And I actually when you kicked me
(25:59):
in the nuts. And he's never heard that term before.
And I've never screamed that a lot before my whole life,
and I was embarrassed to repeat it just now. He's
definitely pocketed that one. He's like he could feel that
it was funny but also a serious thing that happened.
You know the problem with him is that he's really
really should this be a segment Beth does problem with him.
(26:22):
He's just really smart about language, and he remembers people's
names very well upon hearing them once, and like if
he hears a new phrase that has a certain ring
to it that he doesn't recognize, you can see him
doing the math in his head, like I'm gonna remember
this one. Well. He's exactly that age where if he
chooses to be interested in something, he absorbs all of it.
(26:45):
My dad bought them this book. It's called Hello Hello.
It's full of animals, obscure animals from the world. He
knows every single name because we read it every night.
That's the rainbow gamma, and that's the sun to pangolin,
and that's the rhinoceros hornbill uh, And because he's just
chosen to be interested in it, and I think phrasing.
(27:08):
He's very interested in just how people say things and
how people gesticulate. Well, what's funny about that is that
book he has memorized the way that you have read
it to him, and neither of us really knows how
to pronounce those animals. But I tried to read it
to him tonight and he kept correcting me on the pronunciation. Oh,
(27:28):
I'm sure you did it all wrong. I was like,
you don't even know, Yes, we do. We've read this
book every night. We then look it up on Google
on my phone and we look at real pictures of them.
We've we've did you play YouTube videos that on the
pronunciation of their names. I don't care what the truth is.
(27:48):
We have our own reality that we've built and we are.
I'm fine with that. I just think if I'm going
to be corrected, I should get the opt out of
reading those books. You can handle that time. I didn't
tell you that. First of all, I almost always do.
And you don't have to read that book. It's really
good though. A sound up pangling. It's an armored beast,
(28:13):
a rainbow gamma, long beaked a chidna. Now it's time
for listeners want and knows. This is where we dive
into some listener mail and UH talk about it, answer
some questions or react. Now. We got a lot of
(28:37):
feedback from our Past Lives episode. A lot of people
had opinions and in all directions and Ah, there were
two emails that that jumped out as just the epitome
of you and me and Uh, I wanted to briefly
(28:58):
you could see right away to one of these listeners. Um,
I'll claim as one of my own, and which one
is is more a beef this first one. And I
can't read this whole thing because it is so long,
and I love every piece of it. But this is
from Katie, and I'm gonna skip around a little bit.
But Katie writes on Peter's call for backup, which I did,
(29:19):
I said, back me up first. On the idea that
it's possible that Bryn has a past life because anything
is possible possible. Logically, for every unknown but possible scenario,
there is an equal and opposite unknown but possible. These
two statements are equally valid. It is possible that Britain
had a past life. It is possible that Bryn did
not have a past life, which means that possible has
(29:42):
no bearing on what is real. Just because something is
not impossible does not mean that it is probable. Therefore,
Peter's conclusion, concession that it is possible Britain had a
past life, is just as important to point to the
argument as the idea that we are all in the
matrix or Elvis is still alive. Moving on, why your
best thoughts on past life so unreasonable, and her conclusion
(30:05):
that people have past lives demonstrably false. The I could
go on and on and and I just think it's weird.
This person says that it is possible, but then says
that it's demonstrable false. It's like, not, well, I'll go on.
The way a logical argument works, which is something you love,
(30:27):
is a person presents a number of premises which, if
all true, results in a conclusion that must also be true.
But if any premise in the argument is invalid, the
conclusion is also invalid. A logical fallacy is the use
of invalid or otherwise faulty reasoning in the construction of
an argument. Best argument commits many fallacies, the most important
(30:49):
of which I have highlighted here below. And there are
several sections that this person sounds very fun to be around.
Anecdotal fallacy when a proponent uses a person experience as
evidence instead of reliable and falsifiable data. Now listen, I'm
not reading this whole thing because we literally don't have
enough time, but I'm also cutting out the part that
(31:10):
makes it clear that it's very tongue in cheek and
just a logical argument that this person enjoys writing out
and boy I had a nice exchange back and forth
because I this is also very much how I think.
I just don't understand why these science nazis like act
as though science hasn't discovered things over time, Like we
(31:33):
haven't always known things as we now know them. Sure,
so to say that like certain things are impossible because
we haven't we don't currently have evidence for them is
so bizarre to be well, I think it's not saying
that it's saying that this thing must be true because
(31:55):
of anecdotal evidence. I didn't say it must be true.
I feel like this whole argument is being twisted on me.
I was just saying I don't like to be attacked
for believing it's possible. I'm not the one who is
a d percent shore of my opinion. Well, I will
say the back and forth that I had with Katie,
who was lovely went on to talk about how how
(32:19):
to not be jerks about it. But anyway, the point
is not to to tell you you're wrong. I just
want to give you a taste of some of the
feedback we've got. Now. I want to don't I'm being
accused of logical fallacy I think is well. I mean, anyway,
here's the different email we got from Valentina. I'll read
(32:42):
the entire email, this one dear Peter and Beth. Correct
me if I'm wrong, But Beth seems like an old soul,
and Peter seems like a new one. How do you
reconcile this as partners and his parents, well, Valentina as
an old soul. It requires a lot of patients entering
thing with these new souls. Um, boy, it's I believe
(33:06):
it's hard. It's some of some of the emails we get.
It's always hard to read tone online. And I'm pretty
sure that these are all very positive. But it's yeah,
this one reads very positive and earnest to me. But
I'm curious, is that how earnest it is and whether
it knows, whether this person knows how well. I don't
(33:30):
want to say something condescent. Yeah, I don't want to
be well, of course, it's so, it's a it's so
belittling to be called a new soul, because one, it's
ridiculous that because there's no such thing as a soul
according to me. And I know you don't agree. In
a lot of people don't agree but it's just like, Oh,
(33:52):
you don't believe in this, so you must be a naive.
Here's an example of why I actually fully I this,
and I think we've talked about this maybe on the
podcast before, is that you're an experiential learner and I'm
more of a planner. And I, for if I was
to make a recipe install a hook on the wall,
(34:16):
something I would maybe have done some research or have
read up on it. You just dive headfirst into things,
just busting down walls, making a mess, and I like
to fix my mistakes. You like to live and learn,
and I would prefer to create less chaos in my wake.
(34:37):
And I think that is an old soul new soul thing.
So the logical argument is that you've led more lives
than I have, and that's why, you know, I do
believe that we've all led multiple lives. And I think
that we have certain skills that it does not logically
makes sense to me that we've picked them up in
(34:58):
one lifetime. For example, I think you know, growing up,
I was really good at drawing. You are really good
at music. I think that when something comes naturally to you,
like to you like that. I think that you've picked
it up in a past life. Well, I respect that
point of view, and I do not agree in it
(35:20):
is that anyway whatsoever? Well, you'll see on the other side, Okay,
oh boy, let's not ah, this is just us dancing
around death. Uh and um, I made my peace with
death by never talking about it, and then here we are.
This My point of view allows me to not fear death,
(35:41):
and I like that. This is what actually think the
point of all this is and where I have learned
to respect our differences, is that everybody's dealing with the
fact that we're going to die and we don't know
what's going to happen. That's terrifying and it's paralyzing two
feel so helpless. Everybody needs to find a way to
(36:02):
deal with this thing. And my way is making a
decision that, oh, you know what, there's not you die,
You're done. That's that, there's nothing I'm gonna do about it. Now,
let's change the topic. And it actually does make me
happy and comfortable that I don't need to deal with
that anymore. You this dealing with the way that you
deal with it makes you really happy and comfortable and
(36:24):
and and it makes you feel and I know. I
just don't like if I was just living for this
one life, Like I just feel like I would live
so selfishly and like, I mean, there's a there's a
virtue to being in the moment. But I think I
like having a long view of things. I like feeling
like I was put here for a reason and that
(36:47):
it's like a drop in the bucket of history that
like is hopefully serving some higher purpose going forward, and
not just like me as a person trying to get
as much joy out of this life before I die.
It's so funny because I'm like I ultimately I think
(37:10):
it's all totally meaningless. But that doesn't that doesn't mean
that doesn't equal like, well, I can do whatever I want,
because if I did that, my life would be miserable
because people would hate me. And so being a good
person is the best way for me to leave a
live a happy life a while I'm here. And you
(37:33):
know what, ultimately we don't know. Let's be cool anyway,
this is a podcast about parenting. Yeah, but I I
just want to say thank you to everyone to reach out.
Other people wrote in a lot of controversy some something
else not so nice. Um Tom said Beth is dumb
(37:53):
and I'm sexist, and that's a perfectly valid point of
view too, is it anyway, same person said both of
those things. Yeah. Well, somebody wrote in and this is
one where I can't tell how serious they were being
with the subject line was you're both dumb or something
(38:14):
like that. And because I said, Dad's backed me up. Um,
she said that's the sex point of view, that only
dads can be logical and only moms can be flighty.
I'll accept that criticism, but I was trying to make
fun of myself for being a stereotypical type of dad
who needs to explain everything. Uh, but fair enough and
(38:38):
uh and she thinks you're stupid just for now. There
were reasons, but people will say anything when they're safely
behind their computers. If you're listening and you're a nice person,
please rate and review our podcast. It's true. Oh yeah, well,
let's not get into that. But you have somebody reviewed
(39:00):
our podcast after only hearing the ad and did not
like that. You belittled me in the ad and said
she doesn't this is this was great. I need to
share this and we shouldn't get into trolling or whatever.
But this person gave us one star because the woman
belittles the man in the trailer. And you also have
(39:23):
another series that portrays portrays men as dumb, fumbling and incompetence.
Another series I think you're talking about Reductress, But but
listen said portrays men is dumb, fumbling, and incompetence. If
you're gonna call somebody incompetent, use the right word. I mean,
(39:44):
I'm already getting like the normal hate by virtue of
you being on this podcast and not being singularly female.
So oh yeah, I'm got a little taste of your
feminist hate man, and I feel good about it. Boy,
we shouldn't focus on it because so many of you
(40:04):
have said such a wonderfully positive things, and we love all.
Most of you are great. This is just a fun
fraction of the I even think that person who called
you dumb was being a little funny because she did
say Aside from that, I really I've really been enjoying
the show. I shouldn't have said she's not fun. She's
probably very fun. Yeah, you're all great. You listen at all.
(40:27):
You can say whatever you want to us. We're putting
ourselves out there, we're asking for it. Really oh boy.
We love you all and this has been listeners one
of those all right, this has been another episode of
We Know His Parenting. If you want to send us
any questions or if you have any would you knows scenarios,
(40:50):
you can send those to us That We Knows Pod
at gmail dot com or find us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook,
We Knows Pod. Bethan I mean you want plug you
can find me on Twitter at beth new You can
find me on Twitter, Nick nn m I c any end.
Check out the Story Parts podcast, check out The Reductor's Minute,
(41:11):
and we'll see you next time. Yeah bye,
We Knows Parenting News
Hosts And Creators
Beth Newell
Peter McNerney
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