April 16, 2019 • 45 mins
Our live show in Brooklyn is one week away! Get your tickets now at weknowsparenting.com. This week Peter and Beth record early before she goes to LA for the week. Bryn bumps his face on the wall and gets a mouth full of blood. He does not enjoy it. Maeven get spiteful at Peter’s attempts to stop her from repeatedly dumping out a box of paints. While Beth is away Peter attempts to interview the kids, but forgets to plug in the nice microphone. It’s funny, but boy does it sound terrible. The kids are asleep now, so deal with it.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Hello, and welcome to another episode we dos Parenting. I'm
Peter McNerney and I'm Beth Neil and stop the press
this hold the phone. We need to talk about this
right now, Beth. Our live show is coming up next week.
You need to talk about this right now. Yeah, it's
really sticking up on us, all right. Stop listening to
the show and go buy yourself the ticket because that's
(00:33):
priority one. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. Did you buy
a ticket to our live show at Littlefield in New
York City on the twenty It's a Tuesday night, you're
not doing anything. Get a babysitter. You know when did
you us give yourself a night out? This is about you.
We it's not about it's not even about us. You
(00:54):
know what. We don't we don't care. I mean, it's
we want to help you. So to get a babysitter.
I ticket. We know it's parenting dot com. Click on
live appearances by a ticket. Put your hair up, Oh
my gosh, walk the streets. Come your beard, walk the streets.
Go to a show, have a drink and laugh. Remember
the taste of alcohol. Remember laughter, Remember life, public life. Okay,
(01:19):
and remember that Chuck Bryant from Stuff You Should Know.
You know that, one of the most famous podcasts of
all time. He's going to be there. He's flying to
New York to do this show. Did you know that, Beth,
I did know that. Yeah, I know that. We asked
him to do the show. I asked him to do
the show because we're like, well, let's start to the
top of the list. He won't say yes, and he said,
(01:41):
when is it? We're like him, he would never He's
he lives in Atlanta. The most famous podcasts that ever lived.
As you just said, people know this, but the Stuff
you Should Know TV show that happened eight years ago.
I was a regular cast member on that show. And
that's how you met Chuck Brian and how any of
this happened and why you know us now because of that.
(02:04):
So what a glorious man. And he said, I'll be there.
You'll finally get to see the man who made it
all happen in the flesh on stage. We also have
Opiar Eisenberg from MP has asked me another Jim Um.
We have Abby crutch Field you know from TVs True
TV am I getting this strong comedy Central. She's been
(02:26):
on all the t V. She has been on way
more TV than I have. And that's not saying all
that much, but it's a lot more, which is saying much.
All the second me on stage, we're gonna be funny
and everyone has care. Point is the show is going
to be more entertaining than this because we'll be prepared
for it. Um, you want to talk about why this
episode we were recording is atypical, Beth, besides starting with
(02:49):
the plug for that show. Yeah, um, but that's we
know's parenting dot com clicked on live appearances for tickets.
We okay, So we're not recording at a normal time,
which is usually the very last minute before we have
to turn in the podcast. Were recording three days early.
We're recording in a different last minute because I'm about
to fly out of town for the week. You're going
(03:10):
to the Los Angeles Huh yeah, that's what we call it.
So you're gonna be alone with the kids for a week.
I'm not scared until I lose my mind, and then
I'll be scared. M Well, you have some help coming, right,
You've got some babysitters. Um, the babysitters coming tomorrow. But
(03:30):
I couldn't get one for so I'm just gonna guess
up for one of my classes this week and I'm
just going to be home for all the rest of
the week and hope I don't get auditions. Yeah, well,
the Lord will provide. That's if there's one thing we
believe that our Lord and Savior, he who shall not
be named. If there's one thing I'll say is everything
(03:52):
has always gone right for us in the past, and
I can't expect that to change. Um Sturday night is
a different vibe recording than Monday Night. It's kind of
I don't know. I'm just it's like my body feels
extra very much like it should be in bed right
now because it's I have a flight in the morning
(04:15):
eleven thirty. I'm I'm getting into like a delirious point,
and it's it's really making me question like my choice
to do this, because part of me is like really
applauding myself for talking right now and being awake, and
then part of me is like, is that entertaining at
all for the people I'm doing this. You're the one
(04:35):
that remembered we had to do this, and this was
your idea, and I'm sure I know what. I was like,
shocked that I proposed it. I'm shocked that we've gone
through it that. Were you more shocked that you proposed
it or that I proposed to you on a snowy
mountain side in two thousand nine? Mm? Hm, you were not?
Were How surprised were you and I proposed? I was
(04:59):
surprised in the moment went, but it wasn't like it
wasn't like, oh, this would never happen because you're sending
me engagement ring links. Um. I, on the other hand,
were you surprised when you're proposed to me? Yeah? I
was like, I was not planning this at all. Where
did this ring come from? The links? I guess I
(05:21):
went and bought it? Um, here's the should you know
what let's do. Let's tell that story in a bit
because we have nothing planned. Because yeah, let's make this
our engagements and engagement everyone. Everyone loves an engagement story
because it's so fascinating that someone planned to do something.
(05:42):
And then I think it was a pretty good story.
Got the ring? You were joining our family for a
vacation after Christmas? Yeah, should we talk about our kids
on this parenting podcast? You're right, there's no kids involved. Okay,
I uh to catch up on this week, this half
of a week tonight. Oh you were gone? Well, I
(06:02):
just want to say that. I just so I do
a really excellent two man imprep show almost every Saturday
night for the past ten years called Trick. There's so
many asides in this episode. Well, I drink, I drank
a red bill before the show, and I did a
two man hour long show for a packed house and
I'm jazz. Then I get in the car and I
(06:24):
come home and I can never but can I interrupt
you back? After we keep you? I just want to
let anyone know why I'm like and I'm gonna keep
you interrupting you, but I'm gonna try not to there
and I'm done. It's yours take it this episode. We'll
have no direction whatever what I was gonna say, You
were gone? Our kids us putting them to bed and
doing a pretty good job of it. They were exhausted
because we finally got outside for once. It was a
(06:45):
beautiful day in New York um, and I think everyone
was just really tired from getting outside, myself included, and
they We're going to bed, and then at the last minute,
when Brent was like getting into bed. He just slammed
his head against the side of the bed and like
cut his lip open, and then it was like I
could tell it wasn't going to be that bad, but
(07:06):
just like one of those mouth injuries that like bleeds
really fast and hard for a minute before it's like
totally fine. So he had not really he mostly his
mouth was filling with blood and I was getting a
paper towel and he was just it was like, I
have to like dab it up otherwise he's gonna like
swallow it and get a stomachache or something. But then
(07:28):
he had to see a paper towel covered in blood.
So he's just kind of like freaking out. This person
he does they have had much blood experience, No, And
then I mean he was kind of freaking out afterwards.
Knees like it still hurts, and I had to tell
him to like stop touching it, and then he was
like he was crying, like he can fall asleep, and
I was like talking to him about it. I was like,
(07:49):
it's scary, right when you're seeing all that blood. He
was like, yeah, it's just clearly he couldn't let it go.
I end up having to give him some like children's
tile and all as like a placebo effect. Um. It
makes me think in those moments, I'm sometimes like maybe
I can redirect this fear and just solving a problem
of mind later, because yeah, that's hurts right. Well, imagine
(08:15):
if you open the car door into the street in
a car hit you and you bled more because he
keeps opening the door. He did a similar thing Thursday.
He was like, I wouldn't do that. He was kicking
may even in the tub or something, and she was
really tired, and I was like, he's going to make
her freak out. So I was like, you have to
get out of the tub. So I took him out,
and then he threw a massive tantrum and in me
(08:36):
trying to hold him down from kicking me and stuff.
While he's like slippery and wet, he just he couldn't
like kick me or punch. So then he decided the
best way to get revenge would be to slam his
head into the ground, and he just like full tantrum
you're talking about, yeah, but like I mean it was
carpeted and everything, but like he just slammed his head
(08:56):
into the ground and then immediately regretted it because his
head hurt so bad. He started crying and I was like,
it was a stupid thing to do. I was like, well,
that's why we don't hit things, like, we don't hit
each other, we don't slam into things as like it hurts, right,
And he's like, yeah, the teachable moment did feel like
a very applicable teachable moment. It's great when you can
(09:20):
connect an action with a consequence that they understand, because
most anytime I try to explain to him this is
dangerous because of this, it's not sticking. Yeah, and he
really surprisingly hasn't been injured that much, Like even though
he's kind of a maniac, I don't take him outside ever.
That's true, not true, but it's more true than partially true.
(09:47):
Can I tell you something really funny that happened this
week that I wrote down. I thought it was so
weird but indicative of the digital age in which these
kids have lived. Um Maven, we're in the kitchen where
your desk is, and our printer is in there, and
(10:08):
she started fuxing with like the touchscreen on the printer
and she hits something that caused the printer to just
start spitting out blank pieces of paper, like seven or
eight before I got to it. And first of all,
she starts laughing hysterically. They've done this to me before.
I was like, what this? And then I started grabbing
(10:29):
the paper. I was like, you're wasting all this paper?
And I forget exactly what she said. She she's like, Bryn,
look at all these doctor's notes. That's what they did
the last time. When they figured this out, they figured
out how to make it keep spitting on paper. I
was getting annoyed, and they kept chanting doctor's notes, doctor's notes,
and they for some reason they thought they must have
(10:52):
seen one of us like print out a doctor's note
for them for well, I'm just thinking about it. You know,
whenever they go to urgent care to the doctor, I
get a doctor's note facts to us. I can't believe
she remembered that. Well recently, when I took her that
you grab that piece of paper, he said, this is
(11:12):
the doctor's note. And then you go to the daycare
and you hand him, you say, this is the doctor's note.
And she just thinks I'm talking about the paper. Paper
is called a doctor's note. Yeah, maybe I don't know.
Brin was like, oh, yeah, yeah, doctor's notes. And it's
also they don't see paper in that context. I guess
they they don't see a lot of paper. They draw.
(11:35):
I guess they draw. I was realizing recently we could
do much more drawing with them, like that is a
relaxing activity. I was doing math with Brin today, um
where he was doing back to me what I did him,
which is he holds holds up like nine fingers and
he goes, what's nine plus one? And then you add
(11:56):
a finger and say ten, and then he goes and eight,
goes eight, what's eight plus too? It's ten. It's all
the variations equally ten. And I did not think he
cared when I was doing this before, but then he
did it all back to me, and I was really
impressed when he got near anyway, So I started showing
him math on paper and he was into it for
a while and then I could feel that I'm like, okay,
(12:18):
I'm losing him. And then it just turned into drawing.
Did you just see his snails spirals drawings? They're both
getting a lot better at drawing. He's and also he's
suddenly he's a right handed kid. Interesting. Um, so here's
the funny story. I wanted to tell you chew ice
(12:40):
while you're telling the story. So he took the kids
to get ice cream last night after dinner, because we
can't seem to get them to dinner without them trying
to run into one of the ten ice cream frozen
New Yorker places on the block by the one that
just closed, in order to get to the new one
that opened across the street. They're just they just constantly
keep sutting down and then someone opens a new one.
(13:02):
There's just so many, so bad. Then I like this
new one. I just did not ice cream. Was like
it was like crystallized. Well, you made a weird choice.
Peanut butter. Yeah, the peanut butter part was weird. The
ice cream, the cookie ice cream I got was good. Anyway,
(13:22):
we're taking them to get ice cream, and I was
kind of half joking with Brend that we weren't going
to get ice cream, and I was like, I don't know,
are you sure, blah blah blah, and he goes. He
turned to me and he was like, you remember I
love you? Right, but remember I love you? And to
his credit, that worked. It's it. Well, I was already
(13:43):
going to take him to get ice cream, but he
also today I was telling him something, Oh, we're gonna
get haircuts, and I was like, if you get a haircut,
you might get a lollipop after, and he he said,
don't say. Maybe. He was like I need. He's basically
like I need is that there's going to be a
lollipop involved. That is so funny. Oh my god. So
(14:08):
while we were at the barbershop by the way, we
called them made an appointment like you can come fifteen minutes,
and then we show up and there's one woman working
and a kid who's halfway done, and another kid waiting
in line, and I was like this. We ended up
getting there at three forty five, Like why did you
(14:28):
give us this appointment? Yeah? That was kind of annoying,
awkwardly intimate in there with not enough music. It was like,
it's just not a good place to sit. I'm really
glad that I left and took a little walk with
Maven and got a lemonade, because if I had just
been sitting there, I would have been very angry. Um.
(14:50):
So I had a phone call while you were in there,
and one of my best friends of the whole world
Matt Sex out in l A. Just had twins less
than a month old. It was great to talk to him.
Good god. Uh remember when we had a twenty month
(15:12):
old and a newborn baby and we thought this is insane? Yeah, yeah,
I remember that. Can you imagine doing that like at
the same time, Well, I think twins. I'm not saying
it's easier, but like they're at least sort of on
the same schedule. When you have a toddler and a newborn,
it's just so chaotic. Like, here's the thing, here's what
(15:34):
I've learned talking today, is that that's the thing. If
you get them in sink, you're good. But if it
gets a little out of sink, then you're screwed because
suddenly there is no time to sleep. Yeah. I mean,
if you have twins, you really need to help, like
in the first month or two, like especially, like I
feel like you just you either need to hire someone
(15:56):
if you can afford it, or have like a family
member move in or something, because it's just I can't imagine. Well, so, Matt,
you know when it's they take a lot of turns. Uh,
And so they're breastfeeding, but they're also bottle feeding. Um,
breast milk and so when heat. But he's in charge,
he can only feed one at a time. Um, and
(16:19):
so like he's trying to figure out that he has
to do one of them fifteen minutes ahead of the
other one in whatever they're doing. And he's like, we
go through four, sometimes twenty four diapers in a day,
you know that like newborn where you just like, yeah,
they're just changing diapers. And I was so excited for
my good friend to be a parent and to like
(16:41):
talk about stuff that I've experienced. And then but I
was also just started getting so stressed. I really like
I would be happy between never have to take care
of a newborn again, like in my whole life. Um,
I like it's just, oh god, it's so exhausting. It
(17:03):
was a really good step in our relationship. What was
not having a newborn anymore? Yeah, it was good. Now
it's time for we don't know. This is where we
unpack a parenting struggle or question or confusion. This is
(17:23):
a little one and it's not a big deal, but
it really stuck with me. This happened today. You were there.
You'll recall Maven is about to turn three May one.
He's really moved into tantra mode in the last week
er two. Well, I'm remembering, you know here terrible twos,
(17:46):
and we didn't have any terrible twos really, but I
remember Britain turning three and I had thought like, oh this,
this is worse than two. Yeah, well because he was
exhausting as a two year old, but he was in
a good mood and then three came along, and it's
just it feels like a hormonal thing like that feels
(18:06):
like these you can see in Maven's eyes like she
has no control over what's happening. She's just riding a
wave of emotion. It's like it's like a preview of adolescence. Yeah,
where when a child becomes a teenager, all these chemicals
enter their brain to tell them to get away from
(18:27):
their parents. So you know, they from sort of sense
of control, you know, and the similar things. You're three
and you you're suddenly you have this agency and this
intelligence in these communities, you're like, hey, I'm huge, and
you're asserting your dominance over that which you can um
And then so she's she's doing it. She's also like
(18:49):
it's it's kind of frustrating because she's like a much
smarter three year old than Bryn was. In the sense
that she has an older sibling who's like, taught her
how to sneak things. Can we just talk by the
fact that you've you've can You've clearly picked a favorite child. No,
I said, in the sense that she has an older sibling.
Did you listen to the words I said? I only
(19:11):
I made an assumption based off the first word, based
on a pattern, and then I stopped less, listen to
what I'm saying. She has lived with an older sibling,
is my point. She's picked up a lot of tricks.
She's like, she's onto us in a lot of ways.
She's she's following, like how do you manipulate people? Right?
(19:36):
So tonight, I don't know how it started, but she
was tired, over excited, and then didn't nap and so
she sat down to eat and then she was like no,
and she left her. Oh no, I remember what happened.
So she was hitting the chair against the table and
(19:58):
it was making a lot of And that's that's why
it feels so hormonal to me, because we were I
was playing with her in the other room. She couldn't
have been in a better mood. Then she just got
tired and had to stand up to go to dinner,
and I think that was enough to just make her
so like angry. So she's hitting the chair against the
table and it's really loud, and you're like, may even stop,
(20:20):
and so that I held her arms and she looked
up at me, and I practicing what I've gotten much
better at, which I'm showing her as little aggression her
emotions as I possibly can, and I'm like giving her warmth,
and like, we can't do that. That's loud, right, Okay,
you want to sit up on the chair. And she
gave me this like looked out of the top of
(20:40):
her eyes with his burning look of she despised me.
She has such evil and she looks at you that way.
It really hurts your feelings. They picked her up to
put her in the chair, and then she started screaming,
and I was like, okay, and then she got down.
I was like, all right, but don't hit that chair.
I'm gonna you're gonna have to have some alone time
(21:02):
or go to your room. And then she looked me
right in the eyes and did it again. So I go, okay,
picked her up, took her to a room, and I
was like, this is gonna be bad. It's gonna take
a while. Put her in a bed, closed the door,
and she stayed there for a while, and then she
came out and I go, all right, you or she
saw Bryn had taken her seat and then lost it. Yeah,
(21:24):
And then she finds a box full of paints and
pulls it onto the ground and I go, okay, you
need some more alone time, and I put her in
a room and then she just kept coming out and
trying to knock the paints, like when she opened the
door and I'm sitting down and I look at her
with a like I try to give her a oh,
are you feeling better? You want to join us for dinner?
(21:45):
And then I saw her look at me and like,
look at the box. Then she pulled on the ground
twice now and then look at me, and I was like,
I'm gonna get up to stop her. And she sprints
so shockingly as and legitimately beat me in the box
and yanked it out of the ground and then looked
(22:06):
up at me like and it reminded me sort of
like Ray from Star Wars, who that character is like
always has like action ready physicality, and she's simultaney's looking
at me with terror and defiance in her whole body,
ready to run, but also holding her ground. And I
picked her up and put her back in and she
(22:27):
did that another time. She beat me there, and then
I sat in the room blah blah blah, and it
ended up being okay. But it was like she was
in this mode of like I am defying you, and
she's like my mission. It seems something that's clicked on
in her brain where she's like, oh, I can do
(22:48):
these things like she today, like so the hairdresser was
like spraying water in her hair, and she was like
this is weird. You could tell she was like what's
going on? And then she came home and she just
went in to the kitchen sing and started splashing water
all over her hair and like her, I was like
what and then so and then later she went back
(23:09):
and did it again, but she put like hand soap
in her hair, and I was like, what is going on.
She's just learning beauty tips. She's just getting into like
everything in a way that's just like oh my god.
She clearly it's just like ready to pounce right now.
She was scrubbing her hands with her toothbrush. After Bryn
(23:32):
was cleaning a rock with her toothbrush, her toothbrushes on
the floor. Now, by the way, so toothbrushes are disgusting, Yeah, Well,
she took it out and she had it in glass
water and she's playing with that for a long time,
and like then she started brushing the table with it,
and I was like, this is disgusting. I think it
that toothbrush is ready to be thrown out. Well, good thing.
(23:55):
They have like five toothbrushes and every time the one
so brushing teeth. Do you brush our kids teeth? Because
I'm very good at making sure they brush their teeth.
I'm not consistent, but I know you're better than me,
and you do the most. Name Um, that's fine. I
just sometimes feel like I just gave them a bath.
(24:15):
I'm putting diapers of them need to be clean. But
here's the thing, I never give them a bath never.
That's the one thing that I have improved on zero percent.
But I do brush their teeth every night, and they've
(24:36):
stopped fighting me. But now may even we only have
her teeth brushed if I sit on the lip of
the tub and she lays down on my legs and
then she leans her head back so it's pointed downward
at because I want to lay on you. But I'll
tell you it's really easy to brush your kid's teeth
when they're at that angle, and Brin will do it
(24:59):
and then sometimes thinks it's real funny to bite the toothbrush.
I can't brush, and it's real annoying. So here's my
question listeners. We were asked deliberately for advice from our listeners.
I'm gonna do it now. Do you have a defiant
(25:20):
three year old or have you or a two year
old or five year old or any other age there is?
And how do you diffuse that level of defiance? Do
you have a tactic? Or how badly have you ever failed?
That's what I want to hear about. I want to
hear about your failures because we're sharing ours. Tell us
(25:43):
how bad of a parent you are, um, and we'll
we'll share some good ones because we don't know. This
next segment is called would you knows? It's where we
present each other with a parenting hypothetical. So this hypothetical,
(26:10):
Beth comes to us from regular listener and contributor. I
think this might be the third email we have read
of hers from Allison. I only read emails from Allison.
It's really creepy. You like you stalk her. It's not true, Allison. Um,
(26:30):
but we do love you. Scenario keep sending us the
emails Allison. Scenary number two. There was another scenario, but
I picked two. It's present day and Brin has a
favorite movie and knows every single line and uh and
the way every character sounds and acts out the lines
as well. For an entire year, he only speaks lines
(26:54):
from the movie he loves for you, guys. This would
be kind of like learning a new language, because you've
had to figure out what Britain means when he says
certain lines. For example, if his favorite movie is Aladdin,
then instead of saying good morning, he wakes up and
he says ten thousand years will give you such a
crick in the neck in the exact way the genie
(27:16):
says it in the movie. Or instead of saying I'm hungry,
he says, just a little snack, guys, Just a little snack, guys.
Is that the line? Um boy, Yeah, it's the older
fat ladies there know. Then she says, but I think
(27:36):
he's rather tasty. Oh wow, yeah, yeah, somebody sent me
a text during that night accidentally clicked on it. Here
we going back. You know there is no stopping this,
but you also know that he will only speak this
way for one year and then return to completely normal speech.
Would you become really familiar with the movie and speak
(27:58):
to him in quote quote his language? Would you just
learn what he means when he says certain things and
speak to him the way you always would? Would you
tell Mayven and others at school slash daycare slash skating,
ice skating, etcetera. Also, if you could pick, do you
have a preference of what movie you would want it
to be. That's all for me today. Thank you guys
(28:20):
for always making my Tuesday's grape Key bought the good work, Allison.
I mean, I think we just get rid of him.
I this hypothetical sounds incredibly annoying. We're having very different reactions. God,
I love this for a whole year. No, maybe maybe
(28:43):
that's a bit much. God, this is the thing, is
like men love just repeating jokes over and over again.
This was my entire place in the social order in
sixth grade, was how well I knew everywhere I just
I mean, it's so annoying to listen. I mean I
grew out of that. I agree with you now. Improv
(29:03):
really really destroys the joy of repeating things. Not really,
I still repeat things all the time. I mean it's
but lines from moving. It's funny in moderation or like occasionally,
I just this. The person who NonStop is quoting things
is not a tolerable person to be around. A like,
(29:25):
fifteen year old doing that. Yeah, but a four year
old going somebody stopped me, I would be tired of
the movie by our two I'd be like, oh, yeah, okay,
we get it. But I would much rather have four
year old do this than anybody else. It would be
less annoying than I think. The novelty would wear off
(29:48):
so cranky. Yes, it would stop being cute and funny
or annoying, and it would start to get like, we
need to actually communicate with him. We need Okay, so
there's a few quite ss in here we need to answer.
One is, do you watch the movie No Way? No Way?
Am I trying to uh speak more of that movie
(30:11):
out loud in my own home? Well, it's so that
you can understand what he means. You got to learn
the source material to interpret. I mean, if it's Aladdin, boy,
we don't need to watch that movie. Do you know
every line? Yeah? I don't need to watch any of them. Okay, Well,
if you had to pick what the movie was that
(30:34):
he only spoken, would it what Hugh Grant movie? Would
it be? Well? I mean, honestly, it would be really
funny if he was just quoting like Pride and Prejudice
all the time like that would that would be funnier
because the comments would actually be like insightful jokes and
I would be like, oh yeah, like good morning Mr Darcie.
(30:59):
You would That would take you a lot longer to
get sick of that. If it was the well in
the mini series is like many hours long, a lot
more dialogue, This is more variety. Yeah, the mask would
be so annoying. I also do think like any British
movie would be more fun because he's just like a
British person for a year. How about Kenneth Brauna's Hamlet. No,
(31:24):
there's just more words in there than any Does he
still do it in his like upbeat voice? Because then
maybe that's funny. What's the brin doing Shakespeare's ah I
mean the forward violet dust. But I think if it
(31:46):
was a wind steel dice sweet, that's males. If not
from my love's breath. Good morning mother, Okay, we get it.
You don't know sone. Come on, there's a sonnet that
says good morning mother. Well, everything I said, except for
a good morning mother, is from that sonnet. Okay. I
(32:07):
tacked it on in a in a way that broke
the rules of the whole concept. Yeah, I didn't know
what was happening. I still don't. Um, So what's the movie?
What's better? The sonnets or the place? Let us know?
It's it's time we finally decided what's the real? The real? James?
(32:29):
Would you rather your toddler was into the sonnets or
the tragedies or the comedies? I'm gonna say histories. The histories.
I don't get the histories like who cares? Um? You
didn't love Anthony, Anthony Cleopatra. I don't remember, like any
(32:51):
of the details of the histories. Richard three is the
only one I remember. That's a good one. Now is
the Winter of our Discontent? A glorious summer by the
Son of York? It's all I remember. Maybe my horse
my horse, My kingdom for a horse. Okay, so I
guess we're both on the same page that we would
pick up of any movie, we would pick one of
(33:13):
Shakespeare's plays. To answer your question, Um, well, you know what,
I might pick that just because if Britain memorized all
of Hamlet. You're learning something about language. You just got
into college. Baby, you got I am a pink tameter down. Um,
(33:38):
totally relevant to today's world job markets. Yeah, um, okay,
I didn't pick my movie. I thought you're picking Hamlet.
Maybe I do pick Hamlet. You know why, because then
I would know Hamlet. I wish I knew all of Hamlet.
(34:02):
I would bring that up way too much and rub
it in people's noses. I just quoted every Shakespeare. Now
I prefer the comedies. It's like with anything else. I
just can't. I can't consume drama for extended periods of time.
That's fair. Now that we have phones, I can't. But
I used to really dig into the heavy, slow movies.
(34:27):
I don't think I'm capable of that anymore. It's fine occasionally,
I just like that. Can't be like all of the
media I consume. It's exhausting. We hardly ever. I have kids.
You know what makes movies so good? What kids? Because
you're just thinking, thank god, I'm watching a movie. This
(34:47):
never happens. Thank God my kids not here? Boy, nice
stupid kid. You know those two mistakes that we madeably well, Allison, Um,
I hope we did a good job. Not really answering
your question. Well, the other part was would we would
(35:08):
we engage in it? I would learn the language that
he spoken, I would. I would enjoy it and it
would drive you insane? Yeah, I would be like me
and maybe are going on a trip for a little while.
You guys enjoy yourselves. And yeah you'd move to l
A with Beth for the year, with MAYBN for the year,
(35:28):
and Brian and I would have the time of our lives. Yeah. Maybe,
And I would just drink wine, lay on the beach.
You're giving our daughter one you're bat mom. We were tired.
Did you say we were tired or we were tired?
(35:49):
What's the difference? We were tired? A k A. We
were tired. And now it's tigned for a very special segment,
uh that I recorded because Beth is now left town.
(36:14):
We recorded all the rest of that episode before she left,
and then she left, and now here it's Monday night,
and I decided it would be cute and fun to
interview the kids. So I did that, but I did
it right before at that time, and they were on.
They were funny, and then I realized I never plugged
in any of the sound to come into my computer,
(36:35):
so they recorded straight to the laptop internal microphone. But
I'm gonna play it anyway because it was fun. But
it sounds like garbage, So just have fun picturing me
being an idiot who's talking into a microphone that's not recording,
um anything. UM. This segment is called do you Know
(36:59):
what They Said? And now it's time for do you
Know what They said? And this is what we talked about,
something that our kids have talked about it. And in fact,
because best is out of town, I have a very
special guest. It's four year old Brand McNerney. Brand say hello, Hello,
how are you doing good? Now? Mama has left. She's
gone all the way to California. Do you miss her yet? Yes? Yeah,
(37:22):
she's only been gone for one day. Do you do
you still miss her? Okay, Maven, do you miss mommy?
You're gonna join the interview. All right, come up here,
stead up here? Okay, welcome to the podcast. Mavin McNerney,
Say hi, Maven, Okay, now mommy has gone to California.
(37:42):
Do you miss her? Yes? You do, She's okay. The
food you're big interviewed. You gotta wait a second, then
you can eat some food. Why are you wiggling out?
I'm trying to interview you. Come on, I have fun.
(38:06):
Oh boy, when we're screaming? Why are we screaming? Come
here all right? Tell me what ha happened? Why isn't
it in crying just because nothing? What's in your mouth?
(38:29):
Does that come out of? Maybe in's bowl? Maybe she's
going because you stole her food? Why are you whispering? Guess? Okay?
Can I ask you? Is this cold? I don't know? Alright? Sweet?
Should we do our journal? I don't know what you're
(38:49):
talking about, so I don't know that or your food?
I don't know. Are we looking in August nine? Clearly
that this is your journal? I have a April not
August April April question? What is it? Can I see
you when I'm trying to ask you a question? When
it's when it's eight, you're skipping ahead to August. There's August.
(39:12):
So yeah, now, but the question is, Brent into the microphone,
what have you done lately to help the planet. Well,
that's a pretty weighty question. Normally I don't accept Maybe
did you say you have to go potty? Did you
say that you have no? Okay, we're gonna take it.
(39:35):
We're gonna take a potty, break hold on, break far far,
far far far? Have you been saying that the whole
time that I stopped? Okay? Well, we know the rule
is when we do the journalist, you're only allowed to
say far at once. You already said it. For how
what have you done for the planet lately? Alright, April eleven?
How much do you think these things cost? You? Even
(40:00):
here what the things are? Yet? How much money do
you think it costs to buy a gallon of milk? Um? Okay,
that's not insane. I mean it is, but not insane,
guests for a four year olds? How much you think
it costs to buy a car? It's a good deal?
(40:23):
You know what? Do you know that tomorrow I'm literally
going to go in and buy the car that we
got because Nathan was born in a Honda. It's gonna
cost more than hud all right? How about your shoes?
How much you think shoes cost? Ah? Twenty one hundred dollars.
(40:46):
Those are some nice shoes, all right. April twelve, What
when do you think? Can you think of a time
where you felt left out? Do you know what that means?
I left out? It's like everyone's playing, but I didn't
get to play. I feel left out. No, you never
(41:10):
feel left out because everyone likes playing with him. Man,
what are you doing? You got a spoon in your mouth? Okay? Alright?
April thirteen. What is your favorite season and why do
you want? Seasons are like a spring, summer, fall, and winter?
(41:31):
Those the seasons. Why do you like summer the most? Because?
I think because you like page? Good answer? Did I pink? Yeah? Okay? Two?
More ready? I especially love blank lately these days? What
(41:57):
do you love? What do you love? Spend blank? Blank
means filling a blank? Okay? B two hands? Maybe is
giving Brin her milk and she instructed him to use
two hands, which is very good. Oh my gosh, your
sister gave you her milk. Thank you, thank you? Man?
(42:25):
What do you love? Zero? Big pigs? You guys love
pigs huh. You know you ate pigs for dinner. Let's
not get into it. Eight pigs. Yeah, you had sausage,
(42:47):
you sure did. Sorry vegetarians, Uh, that was saucy. I
apologize all right. April fifteen, this is today when we're recording.
I have zero Now you ain't drink all the milk?
That's right? What are you doing? Last question? You discovered
(43:13):
that if you yell the track you're looking at bren
is looking at the recording on the computer screen. These
sound waves are bigger when you screamed. Alright, one more question? Question?
(43:37):
Whoom do you look up to? Boom? Do you look
up to? Who? Do you whom? To? Whom is it
that you look up fart? All right, I'm gonna write
that DOWNO. Okay, you guys are glass act all right?
Brand say goodbye to the people. Is there anything you
(43:59):
want the able to know before? Maybe? Good night? This
has been another episode of We Knows Parenting. And you
know what you're gonna do. Now, You're gonna go to
(44:21):
we Knows Parenting dot Com. You're gonna click on live appearances,
and you're gonna buy yourself a ticket to our live
show next week. Assuming you're listening to this the day
this comes out on April at Littlefield in Brooklyn, and
you're gonna see the show and then introduce yourself and
have a drink with us and hang out because we've
got a babysitter and we never get to go out,
(44:43):
so we're gonna go out, right, Beth, that's right. What
else are you plugging? If you want to submit a question,
share a story, gives some advice, or ask a parenting
hypothetical for the wood you Know segment, you can email
us at we Knows pod at gmail dot com, or
if a voicemail at three four seven three eight four
seven three nine six And Beth, have a good flight.
(45:07):
I'll miss you. Thank you to you and all of
our listeners. Next week maybe
Hello, and welcome to another episode we dos Parenting. I'm
Peter McNerney and I'm Beth Neil and stop the press
this hold the phone. We need to talk about this
right now, Beth. Our live show is coming up next week.
You need to talk about this right now. Yeah, it's
really sticking up on us, all right. Stop listening to
the show and go buy yourself the ticket because that's
(00:33):
priority one. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. Did you buy
a ticket to our live show at Littlefield in New
York City on the twenty It's a Tuesday night, you're
not doing anything. Get a babysitter. You know when did
you us give yourself a night out? This is about you.
We it's not about it's not even about us. You
(00:54):
know what. We don't we don't care. I mean, it's
we want to help you. So to get a babysitter.
I ticket. We know it's parenting dot com. Click on
live appearances by a ticket. Put your hair up, Oh
my gosh, walk the streets. Come your beard, walk the streets.
Go to a show, have a drink and laugh. Remember
the taste of alcohol. Remember laughter, Remember life, public life. Okay,
(01:19):
and remember that Chuck Bryant from Stuff You Should Know.
You know that, one of the most famous podcasts of
all time. He's going to be there. He's flying to
New York to do this show. Did you know that, Beth,
I did know that. Yeah, I know that. We asked
him to do the show. I asked him to do
the show because we're like, well, let's start to the
top of the list. He won't say yes, and he said,
(01:41):
when is it? We're like him, he would never He's
he lives in Atlanta. The most famous podcasts that ever lived.
As you just said, people know this, but the Stuff
you Should Know TV show that happened eight years ago.
I was a regular cast member on that show. And
that's how you met Chuck Brian and how any of
this happened and why you know us now because of that.
(02:04):
So what a glorious man. And he said, I'll be there.
You'll finally get to see the man who made it
all happen in the flesh on stage. We also have
Opiar Eisenberg from MP has asked me another Jim Um.
We have Abby crutch Field you know from TVs True
TV am I getting this strong comedy Central. She's been
(02:26):
on all the t V. She has been on way
more TV than I have. And that's not saying all
that much, but it's a lot more, which is saying much.
All the second me on stage, we're gonna be funny
and everyone has care. Point is the show is going
to be more entertaining than this because we'll be prepared
for it. Um, you want to talk about why this
episode we were recording is atypical, Beth, besides starting with
(02:49):
the plug for that show. Yeah, um, but that's we
know's parenting dot com clicked on live appearances for tickets.
We okay, So we're not recording at a normal time,
which is usually the very last minute before we have
to turn in the podcast. Were recording three days early.
We're recording in a different last minute because I'm about
to fly out of town for the week. You're going
(03:10):
to the Los Angeles Huh yeah, that's what we call it.
So you're gonna be alone with the kids for a week.
I'm not scared until I lose my mind, and then
I'll be scared. M Well, you have some help coming, right,
You've got some babysitters. Um, the babysitters coming tomorrow. But
(03:30):
I couldn't get one for so I'm just gonna guess
up for one of my classes this week and I'm
just going to be home for all the rest of
the week and hope I don't get auditions. Yeah, well,
the Lord will provide. That's if there's one thing we
believe that our Lord and Savior, he who shall not
be named. If there's one thing I'll say is everything
(03:52):
has always gone right for us in the past, and
I can't expect that to change. Um Sturday night is
a different vibe recording than Monday Night. It's kind of
I don't know. I'm just it's like my body feels
extra very much like it should be in bed right
now because it's I have a flight in the morning
(04:15):
eleven thirty. I'm I'm getting into like a delirious point,
and it's it's really making me question like my choice
to do this, because part of me is like really
applauding myself for talking right now and being awake, and
then part of me is like, is that entertaining at
all for the people I'm doing this. You're the one
(04:35):
that remembered we had to do this, and this was
your idea, and I'm sure I know what. I was like,
shocked that I proposed it. I'm shocked that we've gone
through it that. Were you more shocked that you proposed
it or that I proposed to you on a snowy
mountain side in two thousand nine? Mm? Hm, you were not?
Were How surprised were you and I proposed? I was
(04:59):
surprised in the moment went, but it wasn't like it
wasn't like, oh, this would never happen because you're sending
me engagement ring links. Um. I, on the other hand,
were you surprised when you're proposed to me? Yeah? I
was like, I was not planning this at all. Where
did this ring come from? The links? I guess I
(05:21):
went and bought it? Um, here's the should you know
what let's do. Let's tell that story in a bit
because we have nothing planned. Because yeah, let's make this
our engagements and engagement everyone. Everyone loves an engagement story
because it's so fascinating that someone planned to do something.
(05:42):
And then I think it was a pretty good story.
Got the ring? You were joining our family for a
vacation after Christmas? Yeah, should we talk about our kids
on this parenting podcast? You're right, there's no kids involved. Okay,
I uh to catch up on this week, this half
of a week tonight. Oh you were gone? Well, I
(06:02):
just want to say that. I just so I do
a really excellent two man imprep show almost every Saturday
night for the past ten years called Trick. There's so
many asides in this episode. Well, I drink, I drank
a red bill before the show, and I did a
two man hour long show for a packed house and
I'm jazz. Then I get in the car and I
(06:24):
come home and I can never but can I interrupt
you back? After we keep you? I just want to
let anyone know why I'm like and I'm gonna keep
you interrupting you, but I'm gonna try not to there
and I'm done. It's yours take it this episode. We'll
have no direction whatever what I was gonna say, You
were gone? Our kids us putting them to bed and
doing a pretty good job of it. They were exhausted
because we finally got outside for once. It was a
(06:45):
beautiful day in New York um, and I think everyone
was just really tired from getting outside, myself included, and
they We're going to bed, and then at the last minute,
when Brent was like getting into bed. He just slammed
his head against the side of the bed and like
cut his lip open, and then it was like I
could tell it wasn't going to be that bad, but
(07:06):
just like one of those mouth injuries that like bleeds
really fast and hard for a minute before it's like
totally fine. So he had not really he mostly his
mouth was filling with blood and I was getting a
paper towel and he was just it was like, I
have to like dab it up otherwise he's gonna like
swallow it and get a stomachache or something. But then
(07:28):
he had to see a paper towel covered in blood.
So he's just kind of like freaking out. This person
he does they have had much blood experience, No, And
then I mean he was kind of freaking out afterwards.
Knees like it still hurts, and I had to tell
him to like stop touching it, and then he was
like he was crying, like he can fall asleep, and
I was like talking to him about it. I was like,
(07:49):
it's scary, right when you're seeing all that blood. He
was like, yeah, it's just clearly he couldn't let it go.
I end up having to give him some like children's
tile and all as like a placebo effect. Um. It
makes me think in those moments, I'm sometimes like maybe
I can redirect this fear and just solving a problem
of mind later, because yeah, that's hurts right. Well, imagine
(08:15):
if you open the car door into the street in
a car hit you and you bled more because he
keeps opening the door. He did a similar thing Thursday.
He was like, I wouldn't do that. He was kicking
may even in the tub or something, and she was
really tired, and I was like, he's going to make
her freak out. So I was like, you have to
get out of the tub. So I took him out,
and then he threw a massive tantrum and in me
(08:36):
trying to hold him down from kicking me and stuff.
While he's like slippery and wet, he just he couldn't
like kick me or punch. So then he decided the
best way to get revenge would be to slam his
head into the ground, and he just like full tantrum
you're talking about, yeah, but like I mean it was
carpeted and everything, but like he just slammed his head
(08:56):
into the ground and then immediately regretted it because his
head hurt so bad. He started crying and I was like,
it was a stupid thing to do. I was like, well,
that's why we don't hit things, like, we don't hit
each other, we don't slam into things as like it hurts, right,
And he's like, yeah, the teachable moment did feel like
a very applicable teachable moment. It's great when you can
(09:20):
connect an action with a consequence that they understand, because
most anytime I try to explain to him this is
dangerous because of this, it's not sticking. Yeah, and he
really surprisingly hasn't been injured that much, Like even though
he's kind of a maniac, I don't take him outside ever.
That's true, not true, but it's more true than partially true.
(09:47):
Can I tell you something really funny that happened this
week that I wrote down. I thought it was so
weird but indicative of the digital age in which these
kids have lived. Um Maven, we're in the kitchen where
your desk is, and our printer is in there, and
(10:08):
she started fuxing with like the touchscreen on the printer
and she hits something that caused the printer to just
start spitting out blank pieces of paper, like seven or
eight before I got to it. And first of all,
she starts laughing hysterically. They've done this to me before.
I was like, what this? And then I started grabbing
(10:29):
the paper. I was like, you're wasting all this paper?
And I forget exactly what she said. She she's like, Bryn,
look at all these doctor's notes. That's what they did
the last time. When they figured this out, they figured
out how to make it keep spitting on paper. I
was getting annoyed, and they kept chanting doctor's notes, doctor's notes,
and they for some reason they thought they must have
(10:52):
seen one of us like print out a doctor's note
for them for well, I'm just thinking about it. You know,
whenever they go to urgent care to the doctor, I
get a doctor's note facts to us. I can't believe
she remembered that. Well recently, when I took her that
you grab that piece of paper, he said, this is
(11:12):
the doctor's note. And then you go to the daycare
and you hand him, you say, this is the doctor's note.
And she just thinks I'm talking about the paper. Paper
is called a doctor's note. Yeah, maybe I don't know.
Brin was like, oh, yeah, yeah, doctor's notes. And it's
also they don't see paper in that context. I guess
they they don't see a lot of paper. They draw.
(11:35):
I guess they draw. I was realizing recently we could
do much more drawing with them, like that is a
relaxing activity. I was doing math with Brin today, um
where he was doing back to me what I did him,
which is he holds holds up like nine fingers and
he goes, what's nine plus one? And then you add
(11:56):
a finger and say ten, and then he goes and eight,
goes eight, what's eight plus too? It's ten. It's all
the variations equally ten. And I did not think he
cared when I was doing this before, but then he
did it all back to me, and I was really
impressed when he got near anyway, So I started showing
him math on paper and he was into it for
a while and then I could feel that I'm like, okay,
(12:18):
I'm losing him. And then it just turned into drawing.
Did you just see his snails spirals drawings? They're both
getting a lot better at drawing. He's and also he's
suddenly he's a right handed kid. Interesting. Um, so here's
the funny story. I wanted to tell you chew ice
(12:40):
while you're telling the story. So he took the kids
to get ice cream last night after dinner, because we
can't seem to get them to dinner without them trying
to run into one of the ten ice cream frozen
New Yorker places on the block by the one that
just closed, in order to get to the new one
that opened across the street. They're just they just constantly
keep sutting down and then someone opens a new one.
(13:02):
There's just so many, so bad. Then I like this
new one. I just did not ice cream. Was like
it was like crystallized. Well, you made a weird choice.
Peanut butter. Yeah, the peanut butter part was weird. The
ice cream, the cookie ice cream I got was good. Anyway,
(13:22):
we're taking them to get ice cream, and I was
kind of half joking with Brend that we weren't going
to get ice cream, and I was like, I don't know,
are you sure, blah blah blah, and he goes. He
turned to me and he was like, you remember I
love you? Right, but remember I love you? And to
his credit, that worked. It's it. Well, I was already
(13:43):
going to take him to get ice cream, but he
also today I was telling him something, Oh, we're gonna
get haircuts, and I was like, if you get a haircut,
you might get a lollipop after, and he he said,
don't say. Maybe. He was like I need. He's basically
like I need is that there's going to be a
lollipop involved. That is so funny. Oh my god. So
(14:08):
while we were at the barbershop by the way, we
called them made an appointment like you can come fifteen minutes,
and then we show up and there's one woman working
and a kid who's halfway done, and another kid waiting
in line, and I was like this. We ended up
getting there at three forty five, Like why did you
(14:28):
give us this appointment? Yeah? That was kind of annoying,
awkwardly intimate in there with not enough music. It was like,
it's just not a good place to sit. I'm really
glad that I left and took a little walk with
Maven and got a lemonade, because if I had just
been sitting there, I would have been very angry. Um.
(14:50):
So I had a phone call while you were in there,
and one of my best friends of the whole world
Matt Sex out in l A. Just had twins less
than a month old. It was great to talk to him.
Good god. Uh remember when we had a twenty month
(15:12):
old and a newborn baby and we thought this is insane? Yeah, yeah,
I remember that. Can you imagine doing that like at
the same time, Well, I think twins. I'm not saying
it's easier, but like they're at least sort of on
the same schedule. When you have a toddler and a newborn,
it's just so chaotic. Like, here's the thing, here's what
(15:34):
I've learned talking today, is that that's the thing. If
you get them in sink, you're good. But if it
gets a little out of sink, then you're screwed because
suddenly there is no time to sleep. Yeah. I mean,
if you have twins, you really need to help, like
in the first month or two, like especially, like I
feel like you just you either need to hire someone
(15:56):
if you can afford it, or have like a family
member move in or something, because it's just I can't imagine. Well, so, Matt,
you know when it's they take a lot of turns. Uh,
And so they're breastfeeding, but they're also bottle feeding. Um,
breast milk and so when heat. But he's in charge,
he can only feed one at a time. Um, and
(16:19):
so like he's trying to figure out that he has
to do one of them fifteen minutes ahead of the
other one in whatever they're doing. And he's like, we
go through four, sometimes twenty four diapers in a day,
you know that like newborn where you just like, yeah,
they're just changing diapers. And I was so excited for
my good friend to be a parent and to like
(16:41):
talk about stuff that I've experienced. And then but I
was also just started getting so stressed. I really like
I would be happy between never have to take care
of a newborn again, like in my whole life. Um,
I like it's just, oh god, it's so exhausting. It
(17:03):
was a really good step in our relationship. What was
not having a newborn anymore? Yeah, it was good. Now
it's time for we don't know. This is where we
unpack a parenting struggle or question or confusion. This is
(17:23):
a little one and it's not a big deal, but
it really stuck with me. This happened today. You were there.
You'll recall Maven is about to turn three May one.
He's really moved into tantra mode in the last week
er two. Well, I'm remembering, you know here terrible twos,
(17:46):
and we didn't have any terrible twos really, but I
remember Britain turning three and I had thought like, oh this,
this is worse than two. Yeah, well because he was
exhausting as a two year old, but he was in
a good mood and then three came along, and it's
just it feels like a hormonal thing like that feels
(18:06):
like these you can see in Maven's eyes like she
has no control over what's happening. She's just riding a
wave of emotion. It's like it's like a preview of adolescence. Yeah,
where when a child becomes a teenager, all these chemicals
enter their brain to tell them to get away from
(18:27):
their parents. So you know, they from sort of sense
of control, you know, and the similar things. You're three
and you you're suddenly you have this agency and this
intelligence in these communities, you're like, hey, I'm huge, and
you're asserting your dominance over that which you can um
And then so she's she's doing it. She's also like
(18:49):
it's it's kind of frustrating because she's like a much
smarter three year old than Bryn was. In the sense
that she has an older sibling who's like, taught her
how to sneak things. Can we just talk by the
fact that you've you've can You've clearly picked a favorite child. No,
I said, in the sense that she has an older sibling.
Did you listen to the words I said? I only
(19:11):
I made an assumption based off the first word, based
on a pattern, and then I stopped less, listen to
what I'm saying. She has lived with an older sibling,
is my point. She's picked up a lot of tricks.
She's like, she's onto us in a lot of ways.
She's she's following, like how do you manipulate people? Right?
(19:36):
So tonight, I don't know how it started, but she
was tired, over excited, and then didn't nap and so
she sat down to eat and then she was like no,
and she left her. Oh no, I remember what happened.
So she was hitting the chair against the table and
(19:58):
it was making a lot of And that's that's why
it feels so hormonal to me, because we were I
was playing with her in the other room. She couldn't
have been in a better mood. Then she just got
tired and had to stand up to go to dinner,
and I think that was enough to just make her
so like angry. So she's hitting the chair against the
table and it's really loud, and you're like, may even stop,
(20:20):
and so that I held her arms and she looked
up at me, and I practicing what I've gotten much
better at, which I'm showing her as little aggression her
emotions as I possibly can, and I'm like giving her warmth,
and like, we can't do that. That's loud, right, Okay,
you want to sit up on the chair. And she
gave me this like looked out of the top of
(20:40):
her eyes with his burning look of she despised me.
She has such evil and she looks at you that way.
It really hurts your feelings. They picked her up to
put her in the chair, and then she started screaming,
and I was like, okay, and then she got down.
I was like, all right, but don't hit that chair.
I'm gonna you're gonna have to have some alone time
(21:02):
or go to your room. And then she looked me
right in the eyes and did it again. So I go, okay,
picked her up, took her to a room, and I
was like, this is gonna be bad. It's gonna take
a while. Put her in a bed, closed the door,
and she stayed there for a while, and then she
came out and I go, all right, you or she
saw Bryn had taken her seat and then lost it. Yeah,
(21:24):
And then she finds a box full of paints and
pulls it onto the ground and I go, okay, you
need some more alone time, and I put her in
a room and then she just kept coming out and
trying to knock the paints, like when she opened the
door and I'm sitting down and I look at her
with a like I try to give her a oh,
are you feeling better? You want to join us for dinner?
(21:45):
And then I saw her look at me and like,
look at the box. Then she pulled on the ground
twice now and then look at me, and I was like,
I'm gonna get up to stop her. And she sprints
so shockingly as and legitimately beat me in the box
and yanked it out of the ground and then looked
(22:06):
up at me like and it reminded me sort of
like Ray from Star Wars, who that character is like
always has like action ready physicality, and she's simultaney's looking
at me with terror and defiance in her whole body,
ready to run, but also holding her ground. And I
picked her up and put her back in and she
(22:27):
did that another time. She beat me there, and then
I sat in the room blah blah blah, and it
ended up being okay. But it was like she was
in this mode of like I am defying you, and
she's like my mission. It seems something that's clicked on
in her brain where she's like, oh, I can do
(22:48):
these things like she today, like so the hairdresser was
like spraying water in her hair, and she was like
this is weird. You could tell she was like what's
going on? And then she came home and she just
went in to the kitchen sing and started splashing water
all over her hair and like her, I was like
what and then so and then later she went back
(23:09):
and did it again, but she put like hand soap
in her hair, and I was like, what is going on.
She's just learning beauty tips. She's just getting into like
everything in a way that's just like oh my god.
She clearly it's just like ready to pounce right now.
She was scrubbing her hands with her toothbrush. After Bryn
(23:32):
was cleaning a rock with her toothbrush, her toothbrushes on
the floor. Now, by the way, so toothbrushes are disgusting, Yeah, Well,
she took it out and she had it in glass
water and she's playing with that for a long time,
and like then she started brushing the table with it,
and I was like, this is disgusting. I think it
that toothbrush is ready to be thrown out. Well, good thing.
(23:55):
They have like five toothbrushes and every time the one
so brushing teeth. Do you brush our kids teeth? Because
I'm very good at making sure they brush their teeth.
I'm not consistent, but I know you're better than me,
and you do the most. Name Um, that's fine. I
just sometimes feel like I just gave them a bath.
(24:15):
I'm putting diapers of them need to be clean. But
here's the thing, I never give them a bath never.
That's the one thing that I have improved on zero percent.
But I do brush their teeth every night, and they've
(24:36):
stopped fighting me. But now may even we only have
her teeth brushed if I sit on the lip of
the tub and she lays down on my legs and
then she leans her head back so it's pointed downward
at because I want to lay on you. But I'll
tell you it's really easy to brush your kid's teeth
when they're at that angle, and Brin will do it
(24:59):
and then sometimes thinks it's real funny to bite the toothbrush.
I can't brush, and it's real annoying. So here's my
question listeners. We were asked deliberately for advice from our listeners.
I'm gonna do it now. Do you have a defiant
(25:20):
three year old or have you or a two year
old or five year old or any other age there is?
And how do you diffuse that level of defiance? Do
you have a tactic? Or how badly have you ever failed?
That's what I want to hear about. I want to
hear about your failures because we're sharing ours. Tell us
(25:43):
how bad of a parent you are, um, and we'll
we'll share some good ones because we don't know. This
next segment is called would you knows? It's where we
present each other with a parenting hypothetical. So this hypothetical,
(26:10):
Beth comes to us from regular listener and contributor. I
think this might be the third email we have read
of hers from Allison. I only read emails from Allison.
It's really creepy. You like you stalk her. It's not true, Allison. Um,
(26:30):
but we do love you. Scenario keep sending us the
emails Allison. Scenary number two. There was another scenario, but
I picked two. It's present day and Brin has a
favorite movie and knows every single line and uh and
the way every character sounds and acts out the lines
as well. For an entire year, he only speaks lines
(26:54):
from the movie he loves for you, guys. This would
be kind of like learning a new language, because you've
had to figure out what Britain means when he says
certain lines. For example, if his favorite movie is Aladdin,
then instead of saying good morning, he wakes up and
he says ten thousand years will give you such a
crick in the neck in the exact way the genie
(27:16):
says it in the movie. Or instead of saying I'm hungry,
he says, just a little snack, guys, Just a little snack, guys.
Is that the line? Um boy, Yeah, it's the older
fat ladies there know. Then she says, but I think
(27:36):
he's rather tasty. Oh wow, yeah, yeah, somebody sent me
a text during that night accidentally clicked on it. Here
we going back. You know there is no stopping this,
but you also know that he will only speak this
way for one year and then return to completely normal speech.
Would you become really familiar with the movie and speak
(27:58):
to him in quote quote his language? Would you just
learn what he means when he says certain things and
speak to him the way you always would? Would you
tell Mayven and others at school slash daycare slash skating,
ice skating, etcetera. Also, if you could pick, do you
have a preference of what movie you would want it
to be. That's all for me today. Thank you guys
(28:20):
for always making my Tuesday's grape Key bought the good work, Allison.
I mean, I think we just get rid of him.
I this hypothetical sounds incredibly annoying. We're having very different reactions. God,
I love this for a whole year. No, maybe maybe
(28:43):
that's a bit much. God, this is the thing, is
like men love just repeating jokes over and over again.
This was my entire place in the social order in
sixth grade, was how well I knew everywhere I just
I mean, it's so annoying to listen. I mean I
grew out of that. I agree with you now. Improv
(29:03):
really really destroys the joy of repeating things. Not really,
I still repeat things all the time. I mean it's
but lines from moving. It's funny in moderation or like occasionally,
I just this. The person who NonStop is quoting things
is not a tolerable person to be around. A like,
(29:25):
fifteen year old doing that. Yeah, but a four year
old going somebody stopped me, I would be tired of
the movie by our two I'd be like, oh, yeah, okay,
we get it. But I would much rather have four
year old do this than anybody else. It would be
less annoying than I think. The novelty would wear off
(29:48):
so cranky. Yes, it would stop being cute and funny
or annoying, and it would start to get like, we
need to actually communicate with him. We need Okay, so
there's a few quite ss in here we need to answer.
One is, do you watch the movie No Way? No Way?
Am I trying to uh speak more of that movie
(30:11):
out loud in my own home? Well, it's so that
you can understand what he means. You got to learn
the source material to interpret. I mean, if it's Aladdin, boy,
we don't need to watch that movie. Do you know
every line? Yeah? I don't need to watch any of them. Okay, Well,
if you had to pick what the movie was that
(30:34):
he only spoken, would it what Hugh Grant movie? Would
it be? Well? I mean, honestly, it would be really
funny if he was just quoting like Pride and Prejudice
all the time like that would that would be funnier
because the comments would actually be like insightful jokes and
I would be like, oh yeah, like good morning Mr Darcie.
(30:59):
You would That would take you a lot longer to
get sick of that. If it was the well in
the mini series is like many hours long, a lot
more dialogue, This is more variety. Yeah, the mask would
be so annoying. I also do think like any British
movie would be more fun because he's just like a
British person for a year. How about Kenneth Brauna's Hamlet. No,
(31:24):
there's just more words in there than any Does he
still do it in his like upbeat voice? Because then
maybe that's funny. What's the brin doing Shakespeare's ah I
mean the forward violet dust. But I think if it
(31:46):
was a wind steel dice sweet, that's males. If not
from my love's breath. Good morning mother, Okay, we get it.
You don't know sone. Come on, there's a sonnet that
says good morning mother. Well, everything I said, except for
a good morning mother, is from that sonnet. Okay. I
(32:07):
tacked it on in a in a way that broke
the rules of the whole concept. Yeah, I didn't know
what was happening. I still don't. Um, So what's the movie?
What's better? The sonnets or the place? Let us know?
It's it's time we finally decided what's the real? The real? James?
(32:29):
Would you rather your toddler was into the sonnets or
the tragedies or the comedies? I'm gonna say histories. The histories.
I don't get the histories like who cares? Um? You
didn't love Anthony, Anthony Cleopatra. I don't remember, like any
(32:51):
of the details of the histories. Richard three is the
only one I remember. That's a good one. Now is
the Winter of our Discontent? A glorious summer by the
Son of York? It's all I remember. Maybe my horse
my horse, My kingdom for a horse. Okay, so I
guess we're both on the same page that we would
pick up of any movie, we would pick one of
(33:13):
Shakespeare's plays. To answer your question, Um, well, you know what,
I might pick that just because if Britain memorized all
of Hamlet. You're learning something about language. You just got
into college. Baby, you got I am a pink tameter down. Um,
(33:38):
totally relevant to today's world job markets. Yeah, um, okay,
I didn't pick my movie. I thought you're picking Hamlet.
Maybe I do pick Hamlet. You know why, because then
I would know Hamlet. I wish I knew all of Hamlet.
(34:02):
I would bring that up way too much and rub
it in people's noses. I just quoted every Shakespeare. Now
I prefer the comedies. It's like with anything else. I
just can't. I can't consume drama for extended periods of time.
That's fair. Now that we have phones, I can't. But
I used to really dig into the heavy, slow movies.
(34:27):
I don't think I'm capable of that anymore. It's fine occasionally,
I just like that. Can't be like all of the
media I consume. It's exhausting. We hardly ever. I have kids.
You know what makes movies so good? What kids? Because
you're just thinking, thank god, I'm watching a movie. This
(34:47):
never happens. Thank God my kids not here? Boy, nice
stupid kid. You know those two mistakes that we madeably well, Allison, Um,
I hope we did a good job. Not really answering
your question. Well, the other part was would we would
(35:08):
we engage in it? I would learn the language that
he spoken, I would. I would enjoy it and it
would drive you insane? Yeah, I would be like me
and maybe are going on a trip for a little while.
You guys enjoy yourselves. And yeah you'd move to l
A with Beth for the year, with MAYBN for the year,
(35:28):
and Brian and I would have the time of our lives. Yeah. Maybe,
And I would just drink wine, lay on the beach.
You're giving our daughter one you're bat mom. We were tired.
Did you say we were tired or we were tired?
(35:49):
What's the difference? We were tired? A k A. We
were tired. And now it's tigned for a very special segment,
uh that I recorded because Beth is now left town.
(36:14):
We recorded all the rest of that episode before she left,
and then she left, and now here it's Monday night,
and I decided it would be cute and fun to
interview the kids. So I did that, but I did
it right before at that time, and they were on.
They were funny, and then I realized I never plugged
in any of the sound to come into my computer,
(36:35):
so they recorded straight to the laptop internal microphone. But
I'm gonna play it anyway because it was fun. But
it sounds like garbage, So just have fun picturing me
being an idiot who's talking into a microphone that's not recording,
um anything. UM. This segment is called do you Know
(36:59):
what They Said? And now it's time for do you
Know what They said? And this is what we talked about,
something that our kids have talked about it. And in fact,
because best is out of town, I have a very
special guest. It's four year old Brand McNerney. Brand say hello, Hello,
how are you doing good? Now? Mama has left. She's
gone all the way to California. Do you miss her yet? Yes? Yeah,
(37:22):
she's only been gone for one day. Do you do
you still miss her? Okay, Maven, do you miss mommy?
You're gonna join the interview. All right, come up here,
stead up here? Okay, welcome to the podcast. Mavin McNerney,
Say hi, Maven, Okay, now mommy has gone to California.
(37:42):
Do you miss her? Yes? You do, She's okay. The
food you're big interviewed. You gotta wait a second, then
you can eat some food. Why are you wiggling out?
I'm trying to interview you. Come on, I have fun.
(38:06):
Oh boy, when we're screaming? Why are we screaming? Come
here all right? Tell me what ha happened? Why isn't
it in crying just because nothing? What's in your mouth?
(38:29):
Does that come out of? Maybe in's bowl? Maybe she's
going because you stole her food? Why are you whispering? Guess? Okay?
Can I ask you? Is this cold? I don't know? Alright? Sweet?
Should we do our journal? I don't know what you're
(38:49):
talking about, so I don't know that or your food?
I don't know. Are we looking in August nine? Clearly
that this is your journal? I have a April not
August April April question? What is it? Can I see
you when I'm trying to ask you a question? When
it's when it's eight, you're skipping ahead to August. There's August.
(39:12):
So yeah, now, but the question is, Brent into the microphone,
what have you done lately to help the planet. Well,
that's a pretty weighty question. Normally I don't accept Maybe
did you say you have to go potty? Did you
say that you have no? Okay, we're gonna take it.
(39:35):
We're gonna take a potty, break hold on, break far far,
far far far? Have you been saying that the whole
time that I stopped? Okay? Well, we know the rule
is when we do the journalist, you're only allowed to
say far at once. You already said it. For how
what have you done for the planet lately? Alright, April eleven?
How much do you think these things cost? You? Even
(40:00):
here what the things are? Yet? How much money do
you think it costs to buy a gallon of milk? Um? Okay,
that's not insane. I mean it is, but not insane,
guests for a four year olds? How much you think
it costs to buy a car? It's a good deal?
(40:23):
You know what? Do you know that tomorrow I'm literally
going to go in and buy the car that we
got because Nathan was born in a Honda. It's gonna
cost more than hud all right? How about your shoes?
How much you think shoes cost? Ah? Twenty one hundred dollars.
(40:46):
Those are some nice shoes, all right. April twelve, What
when do you think? Can you think of a time
where you felt left out? Do you know what that means?
I left out? It's like everyone's playing, but I didn't
get to play. I feel left out. No, you never
(41:10):
feel left out because everyone likes playing with him. Man,
what are you doing? You got a spoon in your mouth? Okay? Alright?
April thirteen. What is your favorite season and why do
you want? Seasons are like a spring, summer, fall, and winter?
(41:31):
Those the seasons. Why do you like summer the most? Because?
I think because you like page? Good answer? Did I pink? Yeah? Okay? Two?
More ready? I especially love blank lately these days? What
(41:57):
do you love? What do you love? Spend blank? Blank
means filling a blank? Okay? B two hands? Maybe is
giving Brin her milk and she instructed him to use
two hands, which is very good. Oh my gosh, your
sister gave you her milk. Thank you, thank you? Man?
(42:25):
What do you love? Zero? Big pigs? You guys love
pigs huh. You know you ate pigs for dinner. Let's
not get into it. Eight pigs. Yeah, you had sausage,
(42:47):
you sure did. Sorry vegetarians, Uh, that was saucy. I
apologize all right. April fifteen, this is today when we're recording.
I have zero Now you ain't drink all the milk?
That's right? What are you doing? Last question? You discovered
(43:13):
that if you yell the track you're looking at bren
is looking at the recording on the computer screen. These
sound waves are bigger when you screamed. Alright, one more question? Question?
(43:37):
Whoom do you look up to? Boom? Do you look
up to? Who? Do you whom? To? Whom is it
that you look up fart? All right, I'm gonna write
that DOWNO. Okay, you guys are glass act all right?
Brand say goodbye to the people. Is there anything you
(43:59):
want the able to know before? Maybe? Good night? This
has been another episode of We Knows Parenting. And you
know what you're gonna do. Now, You're gonna go to
(44:21):
we Knows Parenting dot Com. You're gonna click on live appearances,
and you're gonna buy yourself a ticket to our live
show next week. Assuming you're listening to this the day
this comes out on April at Littlefield in Brooklyn, and
you're gonna see the show and then introduce yourself and
have a drink with us and hang out because we've
got a babysitter and we never get to go out,
(44:43):
so we're gonna go out, right, Beth, that's right. What
else are you plugging? If you want to submit a question,
share a story, gives some advice, or ask a parenting
hypothetical for the wood you Know segment, you can email
us at we Knows pod at gmail dot com, or
if a voicemail at three four seven three eight four
seven three nine six And Beth, have a good flight.
(45:07):
I'll miss you. Thank you to you and all of
our listeners. Next week maybe
We Knows Parenting News
Hosts And Creators
Beth Newell
Peter McNerney
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