December 24, 2019 • 46 mins
Bryn redeems himself at the Kindergarten Holiday sing-a-long, Bryn and Maeven stop by to bring some chaos to the podcast and Peter goes to the gem shop.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:13):
La la la La la la la la. Welcome to
we know his parenting. I'm Peter McNerney, La La neel
One horse, open sleigh or the fields we go. We're
laughing all the way. I'm just I was one step
away from full shock jock, one step all the way.
(00:36):
It's a Monday night. It's the McNerney Newell household. So
Brent his Christmas concert at school. Oh yes, I went.
It was very exciting. He so if you're a longtime listening,
you might recall at his pre K concert he really
shipped the bed, you know, he got panicky and he
(00:58):
started crying. You know, I mean that was like over
a year ago. Like he had a successful concert after that.
Oh yeah, yeah, I mean his person first graduation was
successful and they were singing the concert. Obviously, I'm joking
when I anyway, when I disparaged. He's recovered, Yeah, he's
(01:19):
he in That performance was so shocking that he was
overwhelmed by the attention and was the one kid in
all pre K. He was just suddenly overwhelmed and crying.
But he's recovered. He's loving it now. He gets King
of the school. Yeah, he's sang five songs something about
a Joe Billy Joe Johnny the Turkey song I've never
(01:43):
heard of Up on the Housetop dradal Um, a really
great kwanza song I've never heard before. So the quanzas
thing is funny to me because I didn't know about
the quanza song until this week. And last week I
was picking him up from after school and we're walking
out and he does this thing where he's at school.
(02:06):
I see him, He's having the time of his life,
and then as soon as we start to walk away
from the building, his face drops and he tries to
think of something to complain about because he's like hungry,
and he's like, my mom's here, now I can be mad,
and he does have to remind himself to be grumpy. Yeah,
and he's like, all of a sudden, he pretends like
his whole day was bad. So he like, we're walking
(02:26):
out and this woman who worked at the school or
something was also walking out, and he's like, you never
let me celebrate Kwanza? Do you never let me? Asking
you mother? And it was so funny because we've literally
never discussed quanza with him ever, and I didn't know
(02:47):
he was being taught about it, which obviously is fine,
but it was like just completely news to me and
I was like you never you literally never let me
though quanza. He told me that Kuanza is way better
seven days Kwanza, and it's got a better song. It
looks cool from the song Oh Kwansa, oh Kwanza, oh Kanzaza.
(03:17):
The choreography really sold the whole conference. He liked the choreography,
which is like putting your one hand in the air
at Kanza. The up on the up on the housetop
choreography is the most involved. Uh and Britain is so funny.
And there's a whole section where when you're like, oh
(03:38):
ho ho, who wouldn't know? They do the wo ho
ho all the kids turned straight profile to the right
with their hands cupped to their mouth and they go,
oh ho ho, who wouldn't know? And then they do
a full one eight to go full profile to the
left go And it was the one bit of choreography
that was like striking, that's adorable. The rest of it's
(04:01):
like just cutting your hands And like I never get
tired of anyone's like school footage of kids singing. It's
just like so funny. Um so that was the big thing.
That was a big thing. That was such a big thing. Oh,
we are, we are leaving tomorrow. We're recording on a
(04:23):
Friday night. Remember when I said Monday night a second ago.
That was a lie. And we've got some other recorded,
prerecorded bits for you. Should we ensure those? Um no,
not yet. That's that's gonna be the middle section of
this episode where you get to listen to pure chaos
as we've got some great stuff coming up for you
later in the episode. You don't know that it might
(04:44):
be garbage. I do know it's good. I just hope
that you edit out the dead air of our children
not talking. Well, that'll be completely determined by how much
they leave me alone on the airplane tomorrow when I'm
cutting this together. Oh so, when we are flying our
two children halfway across the country, your plan is to
(05:06):
be working while I supervised the children. Well, no, we're separate.
You have one and I have one, So it depends
which one I get and how much they lock into
whatever headphones I plugged them into. What's our seat situation? Uh,
there's work relatively close to each other, and there's two
sets of two Okay, because otherwise it was one of
(05:29):
us with two children, and I didn't think you'd want
to do that. No, but one of my close friends
just flew from New York to light did I already
talking about this. She's just lying with two year old
and I she did it, and I'm so impressed she's there. Yeah, bravo,
good friend, Good job, my friend keep her identity secret
(05:52):
because no one would want anyone to know that about her. Um.
And we were watching a lot of Watchmen where it
feels like we shouldn't talk about people's identities, right because
all of our friends are secretly superheroes who are also
secretly queer, who are also secretly a different race than
you would expect them to be. The spoilers here our
(06:13):
lives or the show we're watching. Um, sorry, those are
spoilers about our lives. Fantastic Um so we Um. We
had ice cream tonight and I regret it thoroughly. Yeah,
how do you feel about it? The thing is, for
(06:37):
some reason, we were in the car today and so
my stomach was a little uneasy, so I just didn't
feel like eating a lot of dinner. But then by
the time our dessert arrived, I was like, you know,
maybe I will eat this. So I had a lot
of room for it, even though my stomach was slightly upset,
and I made it work. I didn't. The thing is,
I stopped eating when I start to feel full. Oh
(06:58):
how did how? I don't understand. I can't well, I
don't know that I'm full because I've eaten so fast
that I'm just like I have room for more, don't know.
I don't know why, Like aging has made my stomach
more sensitive, where I feel a little bit more mindful
of like how I'm going to hurt my body. Oh,
I need I need to learn that. I'm I feel
(07:19):
like a gross um, a gross jerk. Yeah, you are
a gross jerk. Thank you. I feel like myself, is
what I'm trying to say. We did a thing around
the dinner table tonight. We're Brett as usual was ranking
all of us, and he was like, I love Maven
and Daddy and Mommy, but I love Mommy the best.
(07:41):
You know, he said, I love you, I love you Daddy,
but Mommy, I like you the best. Yeah, And then
he ranked us. What was the unit of measurement? It
was he just gave you a hundred, Yeah, he gave
me a hundred. I feel like there was a unit
of measurement. But he gave you and may even each one,
and he gave me a hundred. Oh no, no, no, no,
he gave you a hundred. He gave Maven a hundred,
(08:04):
and he gave me no that was me. Afterwards, First
he gave Maven one, you one and hundred. And then
I decided to rank everyone, and I said, I give
Maven and Brand each a hundred, and I ranked you ninety. Now,
oh after I had said I love Mommy the best also,
(08:25):
and then you said that's not the case, it's not reciprocate.
I just want to be honest. They came out of me,
and they're slightly ahead of you. You know what, If
I'm being honest, I love them more than you. I
think that's fair. I have biologically programmed to love them
more you. You came from who knows where. It's true.
It's because very selfish. It's mathematical. I love them more
(08:48):
than you because they're half me, and I love me
more than anyone. Yeah, well that's what Brince said. He
was like, mom, he was were you guys were like,
we all love Mommy the best. Or something, and he
was like and Mommy loves mommy. Um is that true?
Do you love you the best? No? I don't think so, M,
(09:12):
but I like that that's their perception of me. That's
so funny. Um. So oh. The other thing is Brin
how to play d Yes, that's the thing to think.
Um who we won't name well, but we would say
that two out of the four. They both have four
(09:32):
letters and two out of the four. And he was
at this this house and when I got there, him
and this kid were like jumping all over the furniture
and jumping all over each other and like hugging and
um they kept being like yeah, yeah, duty, yeah, yeah, poopy,
like just like classic, just trying to think of every
like get every fart out before they left, and kept
(09:56):
running around and like and the mom was like, I
can't believe we haven't run anything into each other at
the school and I was like, yeah, well, we're not
really there Peter does the pickups and she's like no,
but last year I was on the playground after school
with him from pre K like every single day and
I was like, yeah, well, our daycare would pick him
(10:17):
up from school and we never I never came here
like and I had to explain her. I was like,
I'm literally the least involved parent in this whole school.
And that's just every time I have to pick him
up at regular girl here, Oh my gosh, amazing you Okay,
(10:37):
you actually scared me. What's the matter? Did you were
too load? We gotta put this little girl to bed?
Did you have a bad dream? Yeah? Okay, baby, good
(11:02):
night baby. Um, okay, Beth is pretty maybe into bed.
And I don't know if you could tell in that moment,
but I didn't know what Beth was talking about. Maybe
maybe walked out behind me and I just looked over
my shoulder and there was a tiny person right next
(11:27):
to me, and that scared the living hell out of me.
And she was crying and I was scared, and I
gave her a terror face and it did not comfort her.
And now I'm feeling lots of things, uh, and I
feel bad, and uh, you all had to witness that.
I hope I sounded like a good dad. Um, I'm
(11:49):
gonna go pause and help out. And this next segment
is called do you knows what they said? This is
(12:10):
where we've got We've recorded some interviews with our children. Um. Yeah,
I'll just say that. Um. We recorded them in more
than one way, and as always, they try to pull
the whole thing down. So it's a mess. It's the disaster,
but it's a little bit meandering. But there's some really
interesting character work in there, I think. Um, I don't
want to give too much away, but brit does play
(12:32):
a lying guitar. Um, so please enjoy. And we do
have a little cameo from Santa Claus. Oh yeah, spoilers,
so buckle up, get ready. So Britain, can you tell
us a little bit about the holidays? Well, Quanta is
the famous one, the most famous one, yes, because I
(12:56):
looked on the chart of the classroom and they had
to go didn't label. The golden label means it's the
most famous holiday. Yes, and the golden label is is silver.
The golden label is silver. Okay, that's a designation that
Kwanza house. Yes, after brain is Marty. I'm not gonna
(13:18):
be done. Okay, what are the other holidays? Christmas is
not but I know it's Christmas is not a holiday? No, No,
Christmas is not the famous Which one is the most
famous holiday? Um? In December? Kwanza Okay, why is it
the most famous because um, it has the Golden label
(13:42):
on it. We've covered this. You're forgetting the golden label. Okay.
So what are the other holidays? We've got Kwanza Christmas
and Hanka Hanka and what is Hanukkah? It's it's a
it's a holiday that this name is. Quanta is when
you do call with some celebrate it. You just go
(14:05):
with somebody. That's what quanza is and disco with it.
The theme of Kanza is just go with it? Did
you say disco? Disco with it? Disco with just go
with it? Chers and that you're going with Maybe wants
to say something. Maybe what is Quanza? My name is?
(14:26):
She says, I don't know. Don't don't pull the mic down. Okay,
I can pick you up. I don't stop pulling, stop
pulling on it. Okay, okay, this this sound quality? What
is Christmas? Are you talking to me, mommy? No? I
(14:47):
said Maven. Okay, I don't know. What do we do
on Christmas? Take a long? Take a long? Maybe what
happens on Christmas night when you go to bed? I
don't know who who comes on Christmas? Santa? Yeah? And
(15:10):
when does he give presents. Yeah, like what kind of presents?
I don't know? Like, what would be exciting if you
walked down and he found a present? What would it be? Toys? Toys?
What kind of toys or or something that you wanted
for Christmas? Like, give an example, what would you man?
(15:32):
What do you want for Christmas? What kind of presents? Brandon?
What do you want for a Christmas? Piggy jail books
that I don't even have Piggy and Gerald books. Piggy
jail books? What the brand? Just fainted, just fainted in
(15:54):
my arms. No, I didn't so shocked that no one
knows what someone didn't know what a Piggy Gerald books? No?
Do you want fake talking? Nathan? What do you want
for Christmas? Un jocor toys like the ones you found
(16:15):
in the closet? You really like those? Huh? Nic Maven?
What did you find in the closet? Unicorn? For whom
I shall well? The ones you found with her? Mattie right,
your cousin, mm hmm um Brin? What else do you
(16:38):
want for Christmas? A hot wheel? A hot wheel? It's
a hot wheel? Is a is a toy with a
car when you when you turn this John go in
and there's a car track on it. Yeah, um, brand,
(17:03):
will you tell everybody what Christmas is? Why do we
celebrate Christmas? Because we want pleasents? Okay? Well, why do
we have a tree? I don't, I don't we have
a tree? Why do we get a tree for Christmas?
Because those days we don't go to the neca? It
(17:27):
was too high? Wait, daddy, what if we wait? You know,
too hot? Why we would go for seven days? We
want to be with our favory for a while. You
know what I think we should do. I think let's
interview these kids one at a time. All right, all right,
we'll be right back. Okay, man, what kind of presents
(17:52):
do you like the best? Mm hm h m hm.
Didn't that have unicorn? John? Then unicorns on them? And
and ponies? And what colors? Pink and red? Pink and
(18:12):
red and gold for the hoofs? Gold for these? Are
you still describing the unicorns that you saw in the
closet that we're for Maddie for Christmas? Yeah? Okay, I
still wanted to give them to her. You want to
give them to her, but you you want to get
some too for Christmas? That they're just like them, and
(18:36):
I want the green one too, and then the one
and the ones that I don't have that that don't
look like the ponies that I have. Right, you already
have almost those exact ponies, except your unicorns don't have
sparkles on them. They don't, but you need the ones
with the sparkles I want. Yeah. You also like sometimes dresses, right,
(19:04):
what kind of dresses? One? Princess dresses? Did you just
get a dressed in the mail this week? Mm hmm. No.
You remember my friend Sam sent you a dress that
was yellow and you put it on last night. Did
(19:27):
you like it on? Try again? Do you want to
try again? Well? Do you remember when you wanted to
wear it to bed? And then we had to let
you wear it to bed? And you put a shirt on, drawing,
and we put a shirt under it so you wouldn't
get a rush from the micra and I didn't get
(19:48):
cold and you didn't get cold. And then when you
woke up, you didn't want to take the dress off
to go to school. Actually did wanted? You did want
to take it off? Actually I didn't. You didn't. You
were very mad, right, I wanted to keep Yeah, and
(20:09):
you were yelling and kicking mm hmm, yeah, okay, I'm crying.
You really love that dress, right, but you're going to
get to wear it a lot, and I'm okay right now. Well,
now it's about time again. So we're entering another disappointing
(20:34):
dress era. Okay, she's leaving to get the dress. Who's this?
Who am I talking to me? Who's me? Oh, Brett,
it's you? Excuse me? I have a cough. Everyone has
(20:54):
a cough? Hunt right now? Hunt? Who's that? Who talks
like that? I don't know? Was that you saying? No,
that's not you? Who is saying that? I don't know?
All right, Well we're getting on an airplane. Who is
saying that it's funny? Well, there's no one over here
(21:16):
at this who? Okay, Brent, Next time that happens, I
want you to look around and see who was talking? Okay.
In the meantime, are you excited? Who was it? Did
you see? I guess it's the guitars. The guitar has
said that the guitars next to you. No, guitars. Are
(21:39):
you excited to be alone for a week? No? Are
you going to miss us guitars? Are you happy being guitars? No?
What's your favorite thing to do? Guitars eat? What do
you what does the guitar eat? Pep, Oh my goodness,
(22:03):
people brand? Did you hear that the guitars eat people? Brand?
Asked the guitar as a question, Hey, no, no, into
the microphone, asked the guitar as a question, Oh, into
their ears? Okay, I'll repeat what you say. I think
(22:26):
Brandon said, why do you eat people? Because we're people? Guitars?
What what's the answer for? No reason? So you know
it makes people really sad when they get eaten. Do
you care that people get sad? Oh? Well, guitars just
knocked the mic stand over? Yeah, because they're because they
(22:49):
kicked it down. Okay, guitars, do not touch the microphone.
It'll fall over it. It's heavy. Okay, yeah, okay, okay guitars. No, guitar,
why are you so cranky? No? Okay, guitarist, where did
you come from? No, that's not an answer to that question. No, guitars,
(23:11):
do you like eating people? Um? Does that mean no?
Or did you fart? That means yes? It means yes.
So when a guitar says no, it means no. But
when a guitar farts it means yes. No when we
when we um chicken, then I means no. But if
(23:37):
we go like I mean yes. If you say chicken,
that means no, and you say it means yes. But
you've been saying no a lot. What does no mean
in guitar language? Chicken? Why have you been saying chicken
over and over and over? Chicken? No, you just say no.
(24:04):
Chicken here comes. Maybe she's dressed like a ballerina. Chicken.
What are you saying no? And why were you saying
chicken before? Because chicken? Because no? Okay, guitars, I have
another question for you. Do like it when people play
you play music on you? Chicken? Oh? You don't like it? Okay? Um?
(24:29):
Would you rather play yourself? Or you just want to
hang there on the wall and do nothing? Chicken? Mhmm.
That wasn't really a yes or no question. Well, guitars,
it was nice talking. Do you think I can talk
to Britton now? Chicken? No, I can't talk to Brennon.
Well I'm gonna talk to Brinton. What do you think
(24:52):
they said no for you to talk to me. I
know these these guitars are rude, right, I know, But
I'm trying to listen to that. Okay, Brand, I think
you should try talking to the guitars. Um, you're whispering
(25:16):
to the guitars again. You want to know why they're
not eating us, guitars. Why aren't you eating us chicken? Okay,
I'm done talking to these guitars. Maybe brand new topic. Okay,
check in. Okay, guitars, we're not talking to you, Brand,
We're going give a gutarge. You want to talk to
(25:38):
the guitars. Is not the guitars. Who's talking now? I
don't know, but I think it's the microphones. Whoa wait,
the microphones are talking microphones? Do you mind that we
speak into you? You don't mind? Well, that's good, Um,
(26:05):
actually we do mind. Oh I'm sorry, but that's what
you're good for going down. Guess what? Guess what this
microphone did? What It put a speaker down. I'm gonna
(26:25):
put it back up. You mean the pop card. That's
called a pop card. Wait, that's the thing that says road. Yeah,
as a plug for road, microphone road a microphone. Yeah,
that's the company, the company. Why that's the company? Why
did they make the word road? That's the name of
the company. Actually a robot but I don't know where
(26:49):
that robot is. I'm over on your pizza head. I
don't have a head. Robot like doesn't know that people
have regular heads. You actually have a blueberry pizza head.
Why there's blueberry pizza on it? There's blueberry pizza all
(27:16):
my head up? No, no, I'm gonna get the water.
Did that robot just falling water and get electrocuted? Are
you okay, Brad? Yes, they present music present. We have
(27:41):
to go. We'll be back. Brand You heard the word
presence and you ran away. Huh right, we have let's go.
We have to go back. Santa? What are you doing here?
I don't know. Did you come to give us presents?
What presents did you bring for mommy? So many? What?
(28:05):
What presents? What kind of presence? I don't know, Santa?
Did you forget the presence? Now? Where are they? There's
another Santa here? There's too sick God to Santa's. Why
don't we have to Santa's? Here comes a second Santa Claus,
(28:26):
come here, Second Santa Claus. Second Santa Claus left Santa's.
I think we're just being robbed. Yeah, that Santa just
took our throat pillow and left the room. Um, what
do you want for Christmas? Beth m M just hugs
(28:51):
that I could do. There's there's so many people in
the hallway right now talking and so many kids in
the background, and I didn't put up the sound installation.
You any of this usable, We'll find out. Stay tuned.
(29:18):
This is a segment called Listeners Want to Knows. This
is where we take some questions and comments from you guys.
Cough relief is the subject line of this email from
Jacob Hi. This is a spam. Oh my gosh, this
is just an ad. Longtime listener, first time writer. I
have really enjoyed getting to know you vicariously through your podcast.
(29:41):
And while this podcast didn't didn't make us pregnant, I
found you because we got pregnant. We have a really
adorable thirteen month old and it's been so helpful listen
to your podcast and hear stories about where Brendan Maven
were when they were our daughter's age and where they
are now. While we are really enjoying where we are,
I know we have so much to look forward to
(30:01):
in the next few years. Alone smiley face emoji. I
have two things I wanted to share with you. First,
I had a recurring dream for several months where you
are hosting a live show in introducing a brand new,
never before heard segment in which you could call listeners
live and conduct impromptu interviews about their parenting. The segment
(30:25):
is alternately alternatively called we Knows your number or or
we knows You'll answer, neither of which helps at all
with the creep factor. It would sort of be like
we're Elizabeth Warren. Okay, I'm really not. I'm really not
(30:45):
sure what the dream means, but it's amused me greatly,
and I hope you might also find, uh find some amusement.
We did, we have and in fact, Jacob, we have
a big surprise for you work callowing you right now, Okay, hey,
only do it in the style of Elizabeth Warren ringing, Hey, Glad,
(31:08):
we're in this fight together. Jacob is not picking up.
Oh Jacob, and hang up. You missed the opportunity I
was calling you. This is not a good joke. Um. Second,
I've had a chronic cough for several years while I
was while I was in I mean, I'm in the
(31:28):
moment where I can sort of feel like I relate,
but I've only been only been two weeks. While I
was in grad school in New Jersey, I briefly worked
for a limousine company as a driver and had a
passenger recommend a brand of cough drops called Fisherman Friends.
I have those. We're a step ahead of you, a
man man. We were just having this. Um They are
(31:50):
essentially straight up men fall and a bit of acquired taste.
But if you have to find anything that controls a
cough as well as these do, I typically to find
them in cvs A a a little white box. They do
absolutely nothing to treat the root cause or great at
bringing temporary relief to a harsh and persistent cough. They're
really powerful in like the sort of clearing out your sinus.
(32:13):
This way they are it is. I I like that
the brand is Listen, We're not pretty. There's nothing flashy.
We're just gonna numb the ship out of your throat. Yeah,
but like yeah, it gets up in your nose, like
the smell of it. You you definitely don't want more
than one. You're like, that's enough. It leaves my throat
(32:35):
feeling like I've done enough to it. Um As for
treating root causes. Several years ago, my doctor diagnosed me
with acid reflux and prescribed an acid blocker. In addition
to terrible heartburn, reflux can cause a person to develop
a cough. The acid blocker helped tremendously with both symptoms,
(32:58):
though I do still have occasional flare ups. Hope that's
helpful and that you feel better. So and have you
Holiday's Jacob. Someone was just telling me the same thing
about acid reflex and I was like, we don't have
it's only been like a week and a half. Like
we all just had a cold that was annoying. It
was just very cough based cold. It was never even
(33:21):
really a full blown cold. It just went straight to
the lungs. It was just like, yeah, you're all going
to cough and then everyone's going to comment on your
cough and it sounds bad. Yeah, but anty much pretty
much over it, like I can. I did. At the
story parts recording session on Thursday, we have a recurring joke.
(33:41):
Whenever a character says something that gets it's supposed to
be funny and gets no response, we leave a big
blank and then we always record a person in the
background just going like one distant cough to represent no
one's laughing. And on Thursday I got to do it
and I was like, my coughee is perfect for this
(34:03):
right now. So we got the definitive version thanks to
my lungs. Amazing. You see, things happen for a reason. Comedy, comedy, comedy.
I thought you'd start singing with me, and maybe you'll
start now. I'm not familiar with this song. It's called
(34:25):
building a Cord. It's our two person barbershop chords. At
where do you want me to come in? I am,
I am Peter. You're just batching my note. You gotta
build the cord, build a card by day. Dude. Wow,
(34:46):
who knew our answer to this question would get so beautiful?
That un down down down, dun dun, dun. All right,
let's sleep these people. Let's leave these people alone. So, Beth,
I'm gonna put you on the spot. I gave you
an early Christmas present. Yeah, did you like it? I
did better than a normal president for me, normal president
(35:13):
more practical. That's interesting because in my mind that you
did a lot of research. Actually, I tried something that
you hate that I'm interested in. That was that was
the goal was for me to think about you and
what mattered to you. I got bet some crystals. But
(35:36):
of course it's just really fun to hear you man
splain crystals. I wanted you to know that I thought
about it because I didn't know if you would aesthetically
like them, So I was like, I wanted to know
that there's a many functional you really no. I like
that you thought about it. Um. It's funny because you
know we've we've obviously on the show shown that that's
(36:00):
really my thing. But the second I'm like, okay, well
I need to find a good a good version of
this that you'll connect with, it just turned off that
judgmental part of my brain and I'm like, oh, this
is a good kind and I was I'm like, I'm
immediately just like I need one that's that's does better
things than this one. And then I'm just flipped the
(36:20):
switch and I'm like, this is fun. I like this.
I'm on board. Um, so it was. I got it.
Also got really scared going into the gym shop and
talking to the gem guy. Um, but it was good.
It was it was my last present. Of course, you
finished everything. You were the the holiday present I wrapped
(36:42):
to your presence, and I have shipped them to Chicago.
Where we will be for you got all of the
gift cards for the teachers and everything, and I want
to say that I really appreciate it. Thank you. I
got you um a special gift, Beth. I got your
a tend other gift card to Dunkin Donuts. Oh, here's
the extra one that you bought that there was no
(37:03):
staff person to give to. I'm giving it back to you.
I was only over by one. I'm just kidding. I
gave all of them to them when I said, double
up on him, like I would be really impressed if
I came close to the correct number of people. I
think we went way over. Yeah, I think we did too,
But I was like, whoever ends up holding these gift
cards at the end of the day, I'm happy I
(37:26):
had Britain. There's one woman there that I really like.
They're all really nice, but she's always the one that
opens the door, and she's really seems like the adult there.
And I gave the little bag of gift cards to
Britain and I was like, will you go tell her
like these are for all the after school teachers and
he's like yeah, And he went up there and he
(37:47):
did it really confidently and you see her like really
be touched and gave him a big hug and then
looked at me, came over and like gave me a
big hug and kissed me on my cheek. She kissed, Oh,
he kissed you on your cheek. No, she kissed me
on my face what you know, like a side cheek
to cheek. It was. It was nice, but I we
(38:09):
did not have that relationship until that moment. Can I
I have to retell something that happened this week that
is related. So okay, First of all, if any of
our family members who were seeing for Christmas in Chicago
are listening, you need to stop listening right now because
I'm going to reveal a Christmas surprise and I know
you would hate to know that. Don't don't spoil it. Guys,
(38:32):
we know that all of you listen every week. The
second this comes out, if you will be in the
Greater Chicago area during Christmas, you should just stop listening
at this moment. Also, you're listening on Christmas Eve and
I'm there, so I so. Our sister in law is
bringing the new baby to Chicago, which we're very excited about.
(38:55):
And you know she's a breastfeeding mom. She needs her food.
She's from bos you, I wanted to send some meats
to your parents home so she can have her home
food that she enjoys. She's not really sweets person, She's
a Bosnian meat person. She's a Bosnian meat person, you know,
like cured meats and these Bosnian sausages that are called
(39:18):
I'm going to completely forget the name. It's like something
like a leppe or something, but that's wrong anyway or not.
So I was like, and your parents are not snacks people.
They don't keep food around, and a breastfeeding woman likes
to graze. So I was like, I'm going to send
her some meats as a surprise. And I found this
(39:38):
place out of Cleveland. It seemed perfect. They can ship
it like like frozen or whatever. So I'm setting. I
planned this out, I find the place, I send it.
I tech group text you and your mom to let
her know that this package is coming. And I said, Hey,
I'm sending this package. It's addressed to sister in law,
(40:02):
but it should probably get in the fridge soon, so
I just want to give your heads up that's coming.
And she said, okay, do you want me to hide
it in the garage fridge, that you can wait to
give it to her when you get here. And you,
who didn't know this plan was happening until you had
just received this text. I'm ready to defend myself. Keeping replied, yes,
(40:24):
she should wait for us to get there before she
opens the snack food. Um, I understand the criticism, but
I will tell you my so. I didn't read the question.
I didn't read the question. No, we'll all I was
like reading quickly and my brain processed as it as
(40:47):
is this a good place to hide things so people
won't find it? And I was like yes, But the
question was not that. The question was should we hide it? Yeah?
That so I didn't. Should she wait to eat this
food until you guys arrived not what I was responding to.
I didn't read carefully. Well. What it felt like was
(41:09):
that I planned this thing for her to enjoy, and
you were like, no, no, wait till I get there
so I can hand it to her triumphantly. I didn't.
I'm not I didn't think it through. But it wasn't
that okay, But you're right, I do I do. My
impulses just go definitive answer without processing the whole thing okay, um,
(41:32):
I will say that gift. Um. I was like, boy,
that's really thoughtful. That's that's where I could do better.
Like Beth is, Beth is not only thought about. It's
not like, well, we've learned over the last few year
or two of having actual disposable income is that when
(41:54):
I can get people something, food is a really good option.
It's true like we had a we had a friend
who just had um some things that happened to them,
which I won't go into detail because I don't want
to trigger anyone, but it's it's not horrible, but it's sad.
So we I was like, should I sent her flowers?
(42:14):
And then I found this um like meat and cheese
thing from Brooklyn Larder, and I was like, this is
a way better thing for someone who's like that. Yeah,
well for me, I realized that this is something I
thought before. But this actually led to the your present,
which was I normally just go Christmas presents, how many
(42:37):
do I need to get and for what people? And
then I just think of it as a checklist, and
I'm like, well, what is a gift that's like makes
sense for that person as opposed to let me think
about that person's situation, let me think about where they are,
what they need, what what would be meaningful. And when
I saw that you did that for our sister in lawn,
(42:59):
I was like, that's real practical and you've actually thought
about what they're going to be dealing with. Um, And
I was like, that's the best. That's a good way
to that's a better way to buy gifts. And it's
not that hard. It's just it's just a mindset shift. Well,
there's a weird thing I've noticed, and I feel like I,
for some reason keep talking about this, but like now
(43:21):
that our money situation is not dire, but we sound loaded. No,
I mean, but just in general, like our finances have
stabilized over the last couple of years, where I'm not like,
you know, like if I ordered dinner, Like if I
order food, I'm not like, wait, how much money is
in our bank account? You know, things like that. Um. Anyway,
(43:41):
since our life is like that and I have money
to buy things, you're kind of it actually makes you
more thoughtful about what you spend your money on because
you can plan it out better. Like it seems, I
don't know, I feel like when you don't have money
you're actually just doing a lot of like knee jerk,
like every thing is falling apart. I just have to
deal with this thing now. It's not like you can't
(44:05):
make like a solid plan like this week are I
had to get I had to call a toe chart
company to jump start our car for the second time
in a month, and I was like it was annoying,
and I was like, Okay, clearly we need to get
a new battery. I've never done this before. I'm just
going to go get a new battery. And it was
like annoying and time consuming, but it actually wasn't that
(44:26):
stressful because I was like, whatever they're going to charge me,
we'll be able to handle this. Yeah, we can buy
a battery. Yeah. Anyway, Um that this is just me
trying to sell financial stability. To listen, you guys tried,
have you tried not being broken? It's pretty rad. Um.
So the last thing we're leaving, you know, we're leaving tomorrow, um,
(44:50):
and when we're gone, a bunch of people are going
to come in here and make our bathroom much much cooler. Yeah,
hopefully it all goes a court into plane. Um. So yeah,
next next time, we were so we recorded this early
um for the first time ever. When we get back,
(45:10):
we'll record our next episode in an airbnb because we
won't be back in our place yet. I just thought,
I just know you listeners, little teaser for you. We're
gonna be worried not recording out of our apartment. We're
gonna have to bring all of our sound installation blankets
over to the air bad over there. I mean, you know,
(45:31):
actually we could hear. No, we have to bring our kids.
I keep forgetting we have children. They are kind of
a nuisance to life, really difficult, and you've got a schedule.
Oh gosh, you know what do we did it? This
is it? Everyone, have the happiest of holidays in a
(45:51):
happy new year. This has been We know his parenting.
If you'd like to send his email, ask us a question,
send us some advice to share. You can email us
at we knows pot at gmail dot com, or you
can leave us a voicemail at three four seven three
eight four seven three nine six. Follow us on Twitter, Instagram,
(46:12):
and Facebook and we knows pod rate reviews, subscribe, Tell
your friend Okay, you're on gonna be at a holiday break.
Tell your friends when you run into your cousin who
has screaming children. Remind her your friends from high school podcast.
(46:35):
They need this point, You need it. Tell them you
have to listen to this podcast. Um and oh my gosh,
we'll see you next time. Yeah, bye bye
La la la La la la la la. Welcome to
we know his parenting. I'm Peter McNerney, La La neel
One horse, open sleigh or the fields we go. We're
laughing all the way. I'm just I was one step
away from full shock jock, one step all the way.
(00:36):
It's a Monday night. It's the McNerney Newell household. So
Brent his Christmas concert at school. Oh yes, I went.
It was very exciting. He so if you're a longtime listening,
you might recall at his pre K concert he really
shipped the bed, you know, he got panicky and he
(00:58):
started crying. You know, I mean that was like over
a year ago. Like he had a successful concert after that.
Oh yeah, yeah, I mean his person first graduation was
successful and they were singing the concert. Obviously, I'm joking
when I anyway, when I disparaged. He's recovered, Yeah, he's
(01:19):
he in That performance was so shocking that he was
overwhelmed by the attention and was the one kid in
all pre K. He was just suddenly overwhelmed and crying.
But he's recovered. He's loving it now. He gets King
of the school. Yeah, he's sang five songs something about
a Joe Billy Joe Johnny the Turkey song I've never
(01:43):
heard of Up on the Housetop dradal Um, a really
great kwanza song I've never heard before. So the quanzas
thing is funny to me because I didn't know about
the quanza song until this week. And last week I
was picking him up from after school and we're walking
out and he does this thing where he's at school.
(02:06):
I see him, He's having the time of his life,
and then as soon as we start to walk away
from the building, his face drops and he tries to
think of something to complain about because he's like hungry,
and he's like, my mom's here, now I can be mad,
and he does have to remind himself to be grumpy. Yeah,
and he's like, all of a sudden, he pretends like
his whole day was bad. So he like, we're walking
(02:26):
out and this woman who worked at the school or
something was also walking out, and he's like, you never
let me celebrate Kwanza? Do you never let me? Asking
you mother? And it was so funny because we've literally
never discussed quanza with him ever, and I didn't know
(02:47):
he was being taught about it, which obviously is fine,
but it was like just completely news to me and
I was like you never you literally never let me
though quanza. He told me that Kuanza is way better
seven days Kwanza, and it's got a better song. It
looks cool from the song Oh Kwansa, oh Kwanza, oh Kanzaza.
(03:17):
The choreography really sold the whole conference. He liked the choreography,
which is like putting your one hand in the air
at Kanza. The up on the up on the housetop
choreography is the most involved. Uh and Britain is so funny.
And there's a whole section where when you're like, oh
(03:38):
ho ho, who wouldn't know? They do the wo ho
ho all the kids turned straight profile to the right
with their hands cupped to their mouth and they go,
oh ho ho, who wouldn't know? And then they do
a full one eight to go full profile to the
left go And it was the one bit of choreography
that was like striking, that's adorable. The rest of it's
(04:01):
like just cutting your hands And like I never get
tired of anyone's like school footage of kids singing. It's
just like so funny. Um so that was the big thing.
That was a big thing. That was such a big thing. Oh,
we are, we are leaving tomorrow. We're recording on a
(04:23):
Friday night. Remember when I said Monday night a second ago.
That was a lie. And we've got some other recorded,
prerecorded bits for you. Should we ensure those? Um no,
not yet. That's that's gonna be the middle section of
this episode where you get to listen to pure chaos
as we've got some great stuff coming up for you
later in the episode. You don't know that it might
(04:44):
be garbage. I do know it's good. I just hope
that you edit out the dead air of our children
not talking. Well, that'll be completely determined by how much
they leave me alone on the airplane tomorrow when I'm
cutting this together. Oh so, when we are flying our
two children halfway across the country, your plan is to
(05:06):
be working while I supervised the children. Well, no, we're separate.
You have one and I have one, So it depends
which one I get and how much they lock into
whatever headphones I plugged them into. What's our seat situation? Uh,
there's work relatively close to each other, and there's two
sets of two Okay, because otherwise it was one of
(05:29):
us with two children, and I didn't think you'd want
to do that. No, but one of my close friends
just flew from New York to light did I already
talking about this. She's just lying with two year old
and I she did it, and I'm so impressed she's there. Yeah, bravo,
good friend, Good job, my friend keep her identity secret
(05:52):
because no one would want anyone to know that about her. Um.
And we were watching a lot of Watchmen where it
feels like we shouldn't talk about people's identities, right because
all of our friends are secretly superheroes who are also
secretly queer, who are also secretly a different race than
you would expect them to be. The spoilers here our
(06:13):
lives or the show we're watching. Um, sorry, those are
spoilers about our lives. Fantastic Um so we Um. We
had ice cream tonight and I regret it thoroughly. Yeah,
how do you feel about it? The thing is, for
(06:37):
some reason, we were in the car today and so
my stomach was a little uneasy, so I just didn't
feel like eating a lot of dinner. But then by
the time our dessert arrived, I was like, you know,
maybe I will eat this. So I had a lot
of room for it, even though my stomach was slightly upset,
and I made it work. I didn't. The thing is,
I stopped eating when I start to feel full. Oh
(06:58):
how did how? I don't understand. I can't well, I
don't know that I'm full because I've eaten so fast
that I'm just like I have room for more, don't know.
I don't know why, Like aging has made my stomach
more sensitive, where I feel a little bit more mindful
of like how I'm going to hurt my body. Oh,
I need I need to learn that. I'm I feel
(07:19):
like a gross um, a gross jerk. Yeah, you are
a gross jerk. Thank you. I feel like myself, is
what I'm trying to say. We did a thing around
the dinner table tonight. We're Brett as usual was ranking
all of us, and he was like, I love Maven
and Daddy and Mommy, but I love Mommy the best.
(07:41):
You know, he said, I love you, I love you Daddy,
but Mommy, I like you the best. Yeah, And then
he ranked us. What was the unit of measurement? It
was he just gave you a hundred, Yeah, he gave
me a hundred. I feel like there was a unit
of measurement. But he gave you and may even each one,
and he gave me a hundred. Oh no, no, no, no,
he gave you a hundred. He gave Maven a hundred,
(08:04):
and he gave me no that was me. Afterwards, First
he gave Maven one, you one and hundred. And then
I decided to rank everyone, and I said, I give
Maven and Brand each a hundred, and I ranked you ninety. Now,
oh after I had said I love Mommy the best also,
(08:25):
and then you said that's not the case, it's not reciprocate.
I just want to be honest. They came out of me,
and they're slightly ahead of you. You know what, If
I'm being honest, I love them more than you. I
think that's fair. I have biologically programmed to love them
more you. You came from who knows where. It's true.
It's because very selfish. It's mathematical. I love them more
(08:48):
than you because they're half me, and I love me
more than anyone. Yeah, well that's what Brince said. He
was like, mom, he was were you guys were like,
we all love Mommy the best. Or something, and he
was like and Mommy loves mommy. Um is that true?
Do you love you the best? No? I don't think so, M,
(09:12):
but I like that that's their perception of me. That's
so funny. Um. So oh. The other thing is Brin
how to play d Yes, that's the thing to think.
Um who we won't name well, but we would say
that two out of the four. They both have four
(09:32):
letters and two out of the four. And he was
at this this house and when I got there, him
and this kid were like jumping all over the furniture
and jumping all over each other and like hugging and
um they kept being like yeah, yeah, duty, yeah, yeah, poopy,
like just like classic, just trying to think of every
like get every fart out before they left, and kept
(09:56):
running around and like and the mom was like, I
can't believe we haven't run anything into each other at
the school and I was like, yeah, well, we're not
really there Peter does the pickups and she's like no,
but last year I was on the playground after school
with him from pre K like every single day and
I was like, yeah, well, our daycare would pick him
(10:17):
up from school and we never I never came here
like and I had to explain her. I was like,
I'm literally the least involved parent in this whole school.
And that's just every time I have to pick him
up at regular girl here, Oh my gosh, amazing you Okay,
(10:37):
you actually scared me. What's the matter? Did you were
too load? We gotta put this little girl to bed?
Did you have a bad dream? Yeah? Okay, baby, good
(11:02):
night baby. Um, okay, Beth is pretty maybe into bed.
And I don't know if you could tell in that moment,
but I didn't know what Beth was talking about. Maybe
maybe walked out behind me and I just looked over
my shoulder and there was a tiny person right next
(11:27):
to me, and that scared the living hell out of me.
And she was crying and I was scared, and I
gave her a terror face and it did not comfort her.
And now I'm feeling lots of things, uh, and I
feel bad, and uh, you all had to witness that.
I hope I sounded like a good dad. Um, I'm
(11:49):
gonna go pause and help out. And this next segment
is called do you knows what they said? This is
(12:10):
where we've got We've recorded some interviews with our children. Um. Yeah,
I'll just say that. Um. We recorded them in more
than one way, and as always, they try to pull
the whole thing down. So it's a mess. It's the disaster,
but it's a little bit meandering. But there's some really
interesting character work in there, I think. Um, I don't
want to give too much away, but brit does play
(12:32):
a lying guitar. Um, so please enjoy. And we do
have a little cameo from Santa Claus. Oh yeah, spoilers,
so buckle up, get ready. So Britain, can you tell
us a little bit about the holidays? Well, Quanta is
the famous one, the most famous one, yes, because I
(12:56):
looked on the chart of the classroom and they had
to go didn't label. The golden label means it's the
most famous holiday. Yes, and the golden label is is silver.
The golden label is silver. Okay, that's a designation that
Kwanza house. Yes, after brain is Marty. I'm not gonna
(13:18):
be done. Okay, what are the other holidays? Christmas is
not but I know it's Christmas is not a holiday? No, No,
Christmas is not the famous Which one is the most
famous holiday? Um? In December? Kwanza Okay, why is it
the most famous because um, it has the Golden label
(13:42):
on it. We've covered this. You're forgetting the golden label. Okay.
So what are the other holidays? We've got Kwanza Christmas
and Hanka Hanka and what is Hanukkah? It's it's a
it's a holiday that this name is. Quanta is when
you do call with some celebrate it. You just go
(14:05):
with somebody. That's what quanza is and disco with it.
The theme of Kanza is just go with it? Did
you say disco? Disco with it? Disco with just go
with it? Chers and that you're going with Maybe wants
to say something. Maybe what is Quanza? My name is?
(14:26):
She says, I don't know. Don't don't pull the mic down. Okay,
I can pick you up. I don't stop pulling, stop
pulling on it. Okay, okay, this this sound quality? What
is Christmas? Are you talking to me, mommy? No? I
(14:47):
said Maven. Okay, I don't know. What do we do
on Christmas? Take a long? Take a long? Maybe what
happens on Christmas night when you go to bed? I
don't know who who comes on Christmas? Santa? Yeah? And
(15:10):
when does he give presents. Yeah, like what kind of presents?
I don't know? Like, what would be exciting if you
walked down and he found a present? What would it be? Toys? Toys?
What kind of toys or or something that you wanted
for Christmas? Like, give an example, what would you man?
(15:32):
What do you want for Christmas? What kind of presents? Brandon?
What do you want for a Christmas? Piggy jail books
that I don't even have Piggy and Gerald books. Piggy
jail books? What the brand? Just fainted, just fainted in
(15:54):
my arms. No, I didn't so shocked that no one
knows what someone didn't know what a Piggy Gerald books? No?
Do you want fake talking? Nathan? What do you want
for Christmas? Un jocor toys like the ones you found
(16:15):
in the closet? You really like those? Huh? Nic Maven?
What did you find in the closet? Unicorn? For whom
I shall well? The ones you found with her? Mattie right,
your cousin, mm hmm um Brin? What else do you
(16:38):
want for Christmas? A hot wheel? A hot wheel? It's
a hot wheel? Is a is a toy with a
car when you when you turn this John go in
and there's a car track on it. Yeah, um, brand,
(17:03):
will you tell everybody what Christmas is? Why do we
celebrate Christmas? Because we want pleasents? Okay? Well, why do
we have a tree? I don't, I don't we have
a tree? Why do we get a tree for Christmas?
Because those days we don't go to the neca? It
(17:27):
was too high? Wait, daddy, what if we wait? You know,
too hot? Why we would go for seven days? We
want to be with our favory for a while. You
know what I think we should do. I think let's
interview these kids one at a time. All right, all right,
we'll be right back. Okay, man, what kind of presents
(17:52):
do you like the best? Mm hm h m hm.
Didn't that have unicorn? John? Then unicorns on them? And
and ponies? And what colors? Pink and red? Pink and
(18:12):
red and gold for the hoofs? Gold for these? Are
you still describing the unicorns that you saw in the
closet that we're for Maddie for Christmas? Yeah? Okay, I
still wanted to give them to her. You want to
give them to her, but you you want to get
some too for Christmas? That they're just like them, and
(18:36):
I want the green one too, and then the one
and the ones that I don't have that that don't
look like the ponies that I have. Right, you already
have almost those exact ponies, except your unicorns don't have
sparkles on them. They don't, but you need the ones
with the sparkles I want. Yeah. You also like sometimes dresses, right,
(19:04):
what kind of dresses? One? Princess dresses? Did you just
get a dressed in the mail this week? Mm hmm. No.
You remember my friend Sam sent you a dress that
was yellow and you put it on last night. Did
(19:27):
you like it on? Try again? Do you want to
try again? Well? Do you remember when you wanted to
wear it to bed? And then we had to let
you wear it to bed? And you put a shirt on, drawing,
and we put a shirt under it so you wouldn't
get a rush from the micra and I didn't get
(19:48):
cold and you didn't get cold. And then when you
woke up, you didn't want to take the dress off
to go to school. Actually did wanted? You did want
to take it off? Actually I didn't. You didn't. You
were very mad, right, I wanted to keep Yeah, and
(20:09):
you were yelling and kicking mm hmm, yeah, okay, I'm crying.
You really love that dress, right, but you're going to
get to wear it a lot, and I'm okay right now. Well,
now it's about time again. So we're entering another disappointing
(20:34):
dress era. Okay, she's leaving to get the dress. Who's this?
Who am I talking to me? Who's me? Oh, Brett,
it's you? Excuse me? I have a cough. Everyone has
(20:54):
a cough? Hunt right now? Hunt? Who's that? Who talks
like that? I don't know? Was that you saying? No,
that's not you? Who is saying that? I don't know?
All right, Well we're getting on an airplane. Who is
saying that it's funny? Well, there's no one over here
(21:16):
at this who? Okay, Brent, Next time that happens, I
want you to look around and see who was talking? Okay.
In the meantime, are you excited? Who was it? Did
you see? I guess it's the guitars. The guitar has
said that the guitars next to you. No, guitars. Are
(21:39):
you excited to be alone for a week? No? Are
you going to miss us guitars? Are you happy being guitars? No?
What's your favorite thing to do? Guitars eat? What do
you what does the guitar eat? Pep, Oh my goodness,
(22:03):
people brand? Did you hear that the guitars eat people? Brand?
Asked the guitar as a question, Hey, no, no, into
the microphone, asked the guitar as a question, Oh, into
their ears? Okay, I'll repeat what you say. I think
(22:26):
Brandon said, why do you eat people? Because we're people? Guitars?
What what's the answer for? No reason? So you know
it makes people really sad when they get eaten. Do
you care that people get sad? Oh? Well, guitars just
knocked the mic stand over? Yeah, because they're because they
(22:49):
kicked it down. Okay, guitars, do not touch the microphone.
It'll fall over it. It's heavy. Okay, yeah, okay, okay guitars. No, guitar,
why are you so cranky? No? Okay, guitarist, where did
you come from? No, that's not an answer to that question. No, guitars,
(23:11):
do you like eating people? Um? Does that mean no?
Or did you fart? That means yes? It means yes.
So when a guitar says no, it means no. But
when a guitar farts it means yes. No when we
when we um chicken, then I means no. But if
(23:37):
we go like I mean yes. If you say chicken,
that means no, and you say it means yes. But
you've been saying no a lot. What does no mean
in guitar language? Chicken? Why have you been saying chicken
over and over and over? Chicken? No, you just say no.
(24:04):
Chicken here comes. Maybe she's dressed like a ballerina. Chicken.
What are you saying no? And why were you saying
chicken before? Because chicken? Because no? Okay, guitars, I have
another question for you. Do like it when people play
you play music on you? Chicken? Oh? You don't like it? Okay? Um?
(24:29):
Would you rather play yourself? Or you just want to
hang there on the wall and do nothing? Chicken? Mhmm.
That wasn't really a yes or no question. Well, guitars,
it was nice talking. Do you think I can talk
to Britton now? Chicken? No, I can't talk to Brennon.
Well I'm gonna talk to Brinton. What do you think
(24:52):
they said no for you to talk to me. I
know these these guitars are rude, right, I know, But
I'm trying to listen to that. Okay, Brand, I think
you should try talking to the guitars. Um, you're whispering
(25:16):
to the guitars again. You want to know why they're
not eating us, guitars. Why aren't you eating us chicken? Okay,
I'm done talking to these guitars. Maybe brand new topic. Okay,
check in. Okay, guitars, we're not talking to you, Brand,
We're going give a gutarge. You want to talk to
(25:38):
the guitars. Is not the guitars. Who's talking now? I
don't know, but I think it's the microphones. Whoa wait,
the microphones are talking microphones? Do you mind that we
speak into you? You don't mind? Well, that's good, Um,
(26:05):
actually we do mind. Oh I'm sorry, but that's what
you're good for going down. Guess what? Guess what this
microphone did? What It put a speaker down. I'm gonna
(26:25):
put it back up. You mean the pop card. That's
called a pop card. Wait, that's the thing that says road. Yeah,
as a plug for road, microphone road a microphone. Yeah,
that's the company, the company. Why that's the company? Why
did they make the word road? That's the name of
the company. Actually a robot but I don't know where
(26:49):
that robot is. I'm over on your pizza head. I
don't have a head. Robot like doesn't know that people
have regular heads. You actually have a blueberry pizza head.
Why there's blueberry pizza on it? There's blueberry pizza all
(27:16):
my head up? No, no, I'm gonna get the water.
Did that robot just falling water and get electrocuted? Are
you okay, Brad? Yes, they present music present. We have
(27:41):
to go. We'll be back. Brand You heard the word
presence and you ran away. Huh right, we have let's go.
We have to go back. Santa? What are you doing here?
I don't know. Did you come to give us presents?
What presents did you bring for mommy? So many? What?
(28:05):
What presents? What kind of presence? I don't know, Santa?
Did you forget the presence? Now? Where are they? There's
another Santa here? There's too sick God to Santa's. Why
don't we have to Santa's? Here comes a second Santa Claus,
(28:26):
come here, Second Santa Claus. Second Santa Claus left Santa's.
I think we're just being robbed. Yeah, that Santa just
took our throat pillow and left the room. Um, what
do you want for Christmas? Beth m M just hugs
(28:51):
that I could do. There's there's so many people in
the hallway right now talking and so many kids in
the background, and I didn't put up the sound installation.
You any of this usable, We'll find out. Stay tuned.
(29:18):
This is a segment called Listeners Want to Knows. This
is where we take some questions and comments from you guys.
Cough relief is the subject line of this email from
Jacob Hi. This is a spam. Oh my gosh, this
is just an ad. Longtime listener, first time writer. I
have really enjoyed getting to know you vicariously through your podcast.
(29:41):
And while this podcast didn't didn't make us pregnant, I
found you because we got pregnant. We have a really
adorable thirteen month old and it's been so helpful listen
to your podcast and hear stories about where Brendan Maven
were when they were our daughter's age and where they
are now. While we are really enjoying where we are,
I know we have so much to look forward to
(30:01):
in the next few years. Alone smiley face emoji. I
have two things I wanted to share with you. First,
I had a recurring dream for several months where you
are hosting a live show in introducing a brand new,
never before heard segment in which you could call listeners
live and conduct impromptu interviews about their parenting. The segment
(30:25):
is alternately alternatively called we Knows your number or or
we knows You'll answer, neither of which helps at all
with the creep factor. It would sort of be like
we're Elizabeth Warren. Okay, I'm really not. I'm really not
(30:45):
sure what the dream means, but it's amused me greatly,
and I hope you might also find, uh find some amusement.
We did, we have and in fact, Jacob, we have
a big surprise for you work callowing you right now, Okay, hey,
only do it in the style of Elizabeth Warren ringing, Hey, Glad,
(31:08):
we're in this fight together. Jacob is not picking up.
Oh Jacob, and hang up. You missed the opportunity I
was calling you. This is not a good joke. Um. Second,
I've had a chronic cough for several years while I
was while I was in I mean, I'm in the
(31:28):
moment where I can sort of feel like I relate,
but I've only been only been two weeks. While I
was in grad school in New Jersey, I briefly worked
for a limousine company as a driver and had a
passenger recommend a brand of cough drops called Fisherman Friends.
I have those. We're a step ahead of you, a
man man. We were just having this. Um They are
(31:50):
essentially straight up men fall and a bit of acquired taste.
But if you have to find anything that controls a
cough as well as these do, I typically to find
them in cvs A a a little white box. They do
absolutely nothing to treat the root cause or great at
bringing temporary relief to a harsh and persistent cough. They're
really powerful in like the sort of clearing out your sinus.
(32:13):
This way they are it is. I I like that
the brand is Listen, We're not pretty. There's nothing flashy.
We're just gonna numb the ship out of your throat. Yeah,
but like yeah, it gets up in your nose, like
the smell of it. You you definitely don't want more
than one. You're like, that's enough. It leaves my throat
(32:35):
feeling like I've done enough to it. Um As for
treating root causes. Several years ago, my doctor diagnosed me
with acid reflux and prescribed an acid blocker. In addition
to terrible heartburn, reflux can cause a person to develop
a cough. The acid blocker helped tremendously with both symptoms,
(32:58):
though I do still have occasional flare ups. Hope that's
helpful and that you feel better. So and have you
Holiday's Jacob. Someone was just telling me the same thing
about acid reflex and I was like, we don't have
it's only been like a week and a half. Like
we all just had a cold that was annoying. It
was just very cough based cold. It was never even
(33:21):
really a full blown cold. It just went straight to
the lungs. It was just like, yeah, you're all going
to cough and then everyone's going to comment on your
cough and it sounds bad. Yeah, but anty much pretty
much over it, like I can. I did. At the
story parts recording session on Thursday, we have a recurring joke.
(33:41):
Whenever a character says something that gets it's supposed to
be funny and gets no response, we leave a big
blank and then we always record a person in the
background just going like one distant cough to represent no
one's laughing. And on Thursday I got to do it
and I was like, my coughee is perfect for this
(34:03):
right now. So we got the definitive version thanks to
my lungs. Amazing. You see, things happen for a reason. Comedy, comedy, comedy.
I thought you'd start singing with me, and maybe you'll
start now. I'm not familiar with this song. It's called
(34:25):
building a Cord. It's our two person barbershop chords. At
where do you want me to come in? I am,
I am Peter. You're just batching my note. You gotta
build the cord, build a card by day. Dude. Wow,
(34:46):
who knew our answer to this question would get so beautiful?
That un down down down, dun dun, dun. All right,
let's sleep these people. Let's leave these people alone. So, Beth,
I'm gonna put you on the spot. I gave you
an early Christmas present. Yeah, did you like it? I
did better than a normal president for me, normal president
(35:13):
more practical. That's interesting because in my mind that you
did a lot of research. Actually, I tried something that
you hate that I'm interested in. That was that was
the goal was for me to think about you and
what mattered to you. I got bet some crystals. But
(35:36):
of course it's just really fun to hear you man
splain crystals. I wanted you to know that I thought
about it because I didn't know if you would aesthetically
like them, So I was like, I wanted to know
that there's a many functional you really no. I like
that you thought about it. Um. It's funny because you
know we've we've obviously on the show shown that that's
(36:00):
really my thing. But the second I'm like, okay, well
I need to find a good a good version of
this that you'll connect with, it just turned off that
judgmental part of my brain and I'm like, oh, this
is a good kind and I was I'm like, I'm
immediately just like I need one that's that's does better
things than this one. And then I'm just flipped the
(36:20):
switch and I'm like, this is fun. I like this.
I'm on board. Um, so it was. I got it.
Also got really scared going into the gym shop and
talking to the gem guy. Um, but it was good.
It was it was my last present. Of course, you
finished everything. You were the the holiday present I wrapped
(36:42):
to your presence, and I have shipped them to Chicago.
Where we will be for you got all of the
gift cards for the teachers and everything, and I want
to say that I really appreciate it. Thank you. I
got you um a special gift, Beth. I got your
a tend other gift card to Dunkin Donuts. Oh, here's
the extra one that you bought that there was no
(37:03):
staff person to give to. I'm giving it back to you.
I was only over by one. I'm just kidding. I
gave all of them to them when I said, double
up on him, like I would be really impressed if
I came close to the correct number of people. I
think we went way over. Yeah, I think we did too,
But I was like, whoever ends up holding these gift
cards at the end of the day, I'm happy I
(37:26):
had Britain. There's one woman there that I really like.
They're all really nice, but she's always the one that
opens the door, and she's really seems like the adult there.
And I gave the little bag of gift cards to
Britain and I was like, will you go tell her
like these are for all the after school teachers and
he's like yeah, And he went up there and he
(37:47):
did it really confidently and you see her like really
be touched and gave him a big hug and then
looked at me, came over and like gave me a
big hug and kissed me on my cheek. She kissed, Oh,
he kissed you on your cheek. No, she kissed me
on my face what you know, like a side cheek
to cheek. It was. It was nice, but I we
(38:09):
did not have that relationship until that moment. Can I
I have to retell something that happened this week that
is related. So okay, First of all, if any of
our family members who were seeing for Christmas in Chicago
are listening, you need to stop listening right now because
I'm going to reveal a Christmas surprise and I know
you would hate to know that. Don't don't spoil it. Guys,
(38:32):
we know that all of you listen every week. The
second this comes out, if you will be in the
Greater Chicago area during Christmas, you should just stop listening
at this moment. Also, you're listening on Christmas Eve and
I'm there, so I so. Our sister in law is
bringing the new baby to Chicago, which we're very excited about.
(38:55):
And you know she's a breastfeeding mom. She needs her food.
She's from bos you, I wanted to send some meats
to your parents home so she can have her home
food that she enjoys. She's not really sweets person, She's
a Bosnian meat person. She's a Bosnian meat person, you know,
like cured meats and these Bosnian sausages that are called
(39:18):
I'm going to completely forget the name. It's like something
like a leppe or something, but that's wrong anyway or not.
So I was like, and your parents are not snacks people.
They don't keep food around, and a breastfeeding woman likes
to graze. So I was like, I'm going to send
her some meats as a surprise. And I found this
(39:38):
place out of Cleveland. It seemed perfect. They can ship
it like like frozen or whatever. So I'm setting. I
planned this out, I find the place, I send it.
I tech group text you and your mom to let
her know that this package is coming. And I said, Hey,
I'm sending this package. It's addressed to sister in law,
(40:02):
but it should probably get in the fridge soon, so
I just want to give your heads up that's coming.
And she said, okay, do you want me to hide
it in the garage fridge, that you can wait to
give it to her when you get here. And you,
who didn't know this plan was happening until you had
just received this text. I'm ready to defend myself. Keeping replied, yes,
(40:24):
she should wait for us to get there before she
opens the snack food. Um, I understand the criticism, but
I will tell you my so. I didn't read the question.
I didn't read the question. No, we'll all I was
like reading quickly and my brain processed as it as
(40:47):
is this a good place to hide things so people
won't find it? And I was like yes, But the
question was not that. The question was should we hide it? Yeah?
That so I didn't. Should she wait to eat this
food until you guys arrived not what I was responding to.
I didn't read carefully. Well. What it felt like was
(41:09):
that I planned this thing for her to enjoy, and
you were like, no, no, wait till I get there
so I can hand it to her triumphantly. I didn't.
I'm not I didn't think it through. But it wasn't
that okay, But you're right, I do I do. My
impulses just go definitive answer without processing the whole thing okay, um,
(41:32):
I will say that gift. Um. I was like, boy,
that's really thoughtful. That's that's where I could do better.
Like Beth is, Beth is not only thought about. It's
not like, well, we've learned over the last few year
or two of having actual disposable income is that when
(41:54):
I can get people something, food is a really good option.
It's true like we had a we had a friend
who just had um some things that happened to them,
which I won't go into detail because I don't want
to trigger anyone, but it's it's not horrible, but it's sad.
So we I was like, should I sent her flowers?
(42:14):
And then I found this um like meat and cheese
thing from Brooklyn Larder, and I was like, this is
a way better thing for someone who's like that. Yeah,
well for me, I realized that this is something I
thought before. But this actually led to the your present,
which was I normally just go Christmas presents, how many
(42:37):
do I need to get and for what people? And
then I just think of it as a checklist, and
I'm like, well, what is a gift that's like makes
sense for that person as opposed to let me think
about that person's situation, let me think about where they are,
what they need, what what would be meaningful. And when
I saw that you did that for our sister in lawn,
(42:59):
I was like, that's real practical and you've actually thought
about what they're going to be dealing with. Um, And
I was like, that's the best. That's a good way
to that's a better way to buy gifts. And it's
not that hard. It's just it's just a mindset shift. Well,
there's a weird thing I've noticed, and I feel like I,
for some reason keep talking about this, but like now
(43:21):
that our money situation is not dire, but we sound loaded. No,
I mean, but just in general, like our finances have
stabilized over the last couple of years, where I'm not like,
you know, like if I ordered dinner, Like if I
order food, I'm not like, wait, how much money is
in our bank account? You know, things like that. Um. Anyway,
(43:41):
since our life is like that and I have money
to buy things, you're kind of it actually makes you
more thoughtful about what you spend your money on because
you can plan it out better. Like it seems, I
don't know, I feel like when you don't have money
you're actually just doing a lot of like knee jerk,
like every thing is falling apart. I just have to
deal with this thing now. It's not like you can't
(44:05):
make like a solid plan like this week are I
had to get I had to call a toe chart
company to jump start our car for the second time
in a month, and I was like it was annoying,
and I was like, Okay, clearly we need to get
a new battery. I've never done this before. I'm just
going to go get a new battery. And it was
like annoying and time consuming, but it actually wasn't that
(44:26):
stressful because I was like, whatever they're going to charge me,
we'll be able to handle this. Yeah, we can buy
a battery. Yeah. Anyway, Um that this is just me
trying to sell financial stability. To listen, you guys tried,
have you tried not being broken? It's pretty rad. Um.
So the last thing we're leaving, you know, we're leaving tomorrow, um,
(44:50):
and when we're gone, a bunch of people are going
to come in here and make our bathroom much much cooler. Yeah,
hopefully it all goes a court into plane. Um. So yeah,
next next time, we were so we recorded this early
um for the first time ever. When we get back,
(45:10):
we'll record our next episode in an airbnb because we
won't be back in our place yet. I just thought,
I just know you listeners, little teaser for you. We're
gonna be worried not recording out of our apartment. We're
gonna have to bring all of our sound installation blankets
over to the air bad over there. I mean, you know,
(45:31):
actually we could hear. No, we have to bring our kids.
I keep forgetting we have children. They are kind of
a nuisance to life, really difficult, and you've got a schedule.
Oh gosh, you know what do we did it? This
is it? Everyone, have the happiest of holidays in a
(45:51):
happy new year. This has been We know his parenting.
If you'd like to send his email, ask us a question,
send us some advice to share. You can email us
at we knows pot at gmail dot com, or you
can leave us a voicemail at three four seven three
eight four seven three nine six. Follow us on Twitter, Instagram,
(46:12):
and Facebook and we knows pod rate reviews, subscribe, Tell
your friend Okay, you're on gonna be at a holiday break.
Tell your friends when you run into your cousin who
has screaming children. Remind her your friends from high school podcast.
(46:35):
They need this point, You need it. Tell them you
have to listen to this podcast. Um and oh my gosh,
we'll see you next time. Yeah, bye bye
We Knows Parenting News
Hosts And Creators
Beth Newell
Peter McNerney
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