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March 3, 2020 51 mins

This week Bryn learns about time, life, death, extinction, boobies and yoga, and then explains them all to anyone who will listen. Then the whole family agrees that everyone is welcome, except for Daddy.

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:07):
I got to say, hello, welcome to We Know Its Parenting.
I'm Beth Newell. I'm Peter making the podcast you come
to to find out how not to parent? By example?
Should that be? Should that be the tagline? How not

(00:28):
to do it? This is how your parent if you
want to funk up your kids. I gotta say, when
we were first pitching this show and coming up with names,
it was so it seems so cliche to be like,
we're parents, but we don't know what we're doing. A
couple of knuckleheads. You know, branding is hard, we know,

(00:49):
but we knows how to do it. We're so good
at a thank you for coming to our show. We
know it's parenting. Um, what a week? What are we?
What a week? Uh, we're back in the group, we're
parenting our kids. Where uh, figuring our lives out as usual,

(01:10):
just going with the flow. Everything is like everything in
the world right now is such an constant onslaught of
Like I feel like this is a feeling a lot
of people I know are having right now. It's just
like so overwhelming between the news and personal lives and

(01:30):
especially being parents and just trying to process at all.
Like it's just like, you know what, my biggest parenting
challenge of the week was what talking my cab driver
down from the coronavirus ledge. Yeah, I'm like, I'm not
even really going to coronavirus town. Like, I get why
it stokes on people's anxiety, and I feel it very

(01:52):
blessed As someone who's very anxiety prone, I for some
reason do not have like super high germ of phobia. Um,
And so I'm just like, you know what, they'll let
me know if it's bad. If they don't let me know, Like,
I just don't feel like the idea that I personally

(02:14):
have control over this, I think is so egotistical. Because
I ride the Metro North train to the New York
City subway at least three days a week. My children
are in a daycare where they just rubbed on each other,
or my son is in a kindergarten that all my

(02:35):
children are doing is licking up terms all day long.
But that's kind of the beauty of the coronavirus is
that it's not affecting kids in the same way it
is other people. Supposedly, where kids like it's kids are
not getting the same I've I've read a lot about
it um mostly because I come from a place of

(02:56):
I when people panic about anything, I roll my eyes
and act like I know better, and then I'm like
I better read up on this. It's not like I
don't necessarily think it's like rational to not panic, but
I do think as a New Yorker or someone who's
commuting into New York City, and it's like you can't
go with the panic, Like it's just like the city

(03:18):
has withstood so many bizarre things that you're just sort
of like, well, how bad could it be? Like I
do fundamentally believe that the city of New York could
crumble into the ocean at any moment if the right
storm were to strike. But I don't think I personally
have any control over whether I happen to be in

(03:39):
the place where that's happening at the exact time. Like
I just don't. And just you know what, if I'm
meant to fall into the ocean, then that's that's how
you want to go. That's your right, Yeah, in the
salty the salty s And I think, like I'm not
not going to wash my hands, Like sure, I'm going
to wash my hands a little more and like try

(04:00):
to be more aware of touching my face, which I
touch all day long. Hands live in my eyes and
my mouth. We're just expressive, beautiful, thoughtful people. Our hands
are constantly pressing our cheeks. Hands, that's how we communicate.
We are full of hand to face. So here's what

(04:24):
I will say. Okay, I don't think so. My mom's
a nurse, so she's tried to tell me not to
touch my face for decades. But it's so hard not
to touch your face. So what I have been able
to get good at over the years, I think is
that I touched my face. I touched my face more
with my knuckles and not the fingers that are doing

(04:47):
the dirty work. Because like the little kid tired eye
rub with the back of your knuckle. Yeah, like just
trying like be like, Okay, this part of my body
is designated for gross things. This part is for clean things,
like my knuckle. I'm not using the open doors, you
know what I mean. Like you could wash your hands
in disinfect all day, but at some point you're touching

(05:08):
a door knob, to a keyboard, to your mouth, like
it just happens. Like so I just think I don't
think I'm ever going to be able to stop touching
my face because it's gorgeous and I love it. I
mean you you sit there and just make love to
your face with your hands, and it's very awkward to walk.

(05:28):
It's just too natural to me as well. I went
straight to the data and I go, what are the facts?
Give me the facts. Where is the data? And numbers numbers,
and then want number everything and everything about everything. Everything

(05:49):
I've read has made me worry less and less and
less one. We're all going to get it. Everyone's gonna
get it. It's super But also most people don't even
know that they're going They get it in super mind.
And this is the thing that I think people have
to understand is it's not far off from a flu.
Like it's like if the flu we're going around. Yes,
it is bad for more vulnerable people's. It is primarily

(06:13):
people oversex divided with immune compromised immune systems. It is
a serious thing to worry about. But the more data
that they get realize they have no idea how many
people really have it. And so initially they were like
it's three death rate, and they keep finding out like, oh,
there's so many more people that have had it. But
they don't get sick enoughter to the hospital. So the
death rate has gone way, way, way, way right down,

(06:36):
And some people think that maybe it's more like one
point four percent, but every time I read about it,
it goes lower and lower and looking more and more
like the flu. And so you know, thousands of thousands
of people die of the flu every year. So well,
wash your hands, don't touch your face, but don't freak out.
But I think where we should be really careful is
when we are sick. Is like, don't go to work,

(06:56):
be really careful about washing your hands, don't shake someone's
hands when you know you have a cold. Like that
is where I think people like Americans are not considerate,
like I'm already sick, who cares no, But they're like,
we're just so selfish, Like we we as a country
are the most selfish people in the world. Perfect segue

(07:17):
to what we did today, which is I sent my
sun to school sick. Yeah, would you frequently do? I mean,
I mean I play a part in it. I'm not
I acknowledge that, but you do have a tendency to
like this morning, when he was not wanting to eat breakfast,
you were like annoyed and no part of you was like,

(07:39):
I wonder if my sounds sick like I took his temperature,
no fever. Actually he took his own temperature. Well he
wasn't that sick, but he was like he knew he
didn't feel great. So he's at atom A gay guiney
didn't have a big appetite. And this will nurse, did
you call me in the middle of the day. What
I was at an audition in in the Financial District

(08:00):
couldn't have been further away. And I just got there.
But those of you not in the know about New
York City, the Financial District is way downtown and we
live north of Manhattan in Westchester County. So um, I
was eleven fifteen. I got the call from the nurse
and she's like, Brent's in the office, size uh. Teacher

(08:22):
said he's not acting like himself, no fever, no vomiting.
And then I was like, I guess I'll come get him, Okay,
well yeah, and then I'll be there as soon as
I can. That was two hours and twenty minutes. Because
I will say from the working I worked in a
nurse's office at a private school in Brooklyn, which we
both worked at and the nurse's attitude like, and I

(08:45):
think this goes for medical professionals in general. Is just
like when six people are around them, they're like, we
got a sicky over here. He thinks he's real sick.
But I've seen a lot worse like and like they're
not like I think this might be an East Coast
school nurse. I don't know. Well, I did work for

(09:06):
a nurse when I worked in the nurse's office in Brooklyn.
That was she was like she was. She was an
emotionally abusive person who may or may not have been
an alcoholic, and she was just incredibly negative because you
didn't say anything. She liked me until the point up
until the point where I was just completely broken from

(09:26):
trying to please her, and I was like, I was like, yeah,
I need to not work here anymore. And then she
was like she couldn't believe it. So she was not
like this job, um, I was this is my problem
in life as I'm too accommodating to people who are problematic. Um,

(09:47):
And I'm working on it. I'm working on boundaries. But
she um, she was. She was overly dismissive. But I
do think like a lot of verses and medical professionals
have a similar vibe of like, alright, sure you think
you've got something bad. I've seen all this. Like I

(10:10):
do think this is kind of like a tone that's
given to them in medical school or nursing school, Like
it's just like a very patriarchal attitude. That's just like
the customer does not know what they want, Like, um,
I gotta say, Um, the school nurses I remember from
me growing up or not like that. Um, But that

(10:31):
might have just minded my experience. I mean I had
nice school nurses, but they always I always felt disbelieved,
Like I always felt like they were like, Okay, your
throat hurts, well, you can hang out here for twenty
minutes and then you're gonna go back to class because
you don't have a fever. I'm starting to I'm starting
to build a picture of you as a little kid,

(10:53):
assuming what I know about Maven was is how you are.
And there's a there's a version of Maven where she
doesn't want to be prodded for information, and when you
ask her questions really bluntly, she'll she'll like squint at you,
and then it's hard to read what's going on. With her,

(11:14):
and so I started to see like is this what
all those teachers were seeing in Beth when they're like,
does she have an attitude? I can't tell? Do you
feel like? Because the world too women is like do
you really feel what you're feeling? Or you an idiot?
Like that's I think. Sometimes she's like may even correctly

(11:35):
sometimes when she's throwing a tantrum, she like very clearly
is like I need this from you, as like I
need you to help calm me down as a three
year old, do you know what I mean? Like she's
like what she's saying is m M, well, yeah, like no,
but like I have I have seen her thrown tantrums

(11:55):
where like I got mad, like when she was very young,
and I was like just feeling very frustrated because she
was just like incoherent toddler. And then I was like
I probably talked about this in the podcast before, but
I was like, Mayven, what do you want? And then
she was and then and then she goes, I want you,

(12:16):
And it was like the most clarifying, like clear like
I was like, she just wanted me to pay attention
to her. It wasn't about like whatever thing she was
requesting or whatever. She just wanted me to like focus
on her, and it was like like she, I know,
sometimes she's just being a three year old and she's

(12:36):
moody and tired whatever. But like sometimes I think she
is just very like hey, she's like, hey, my big
brother has been flipping out for like an hour, and
you guys have paid attention to me. I've gotten I
mean partially she's grown up and show she can start
to be able to let things go, which is a

(12:58):
brand new She's approaching four and you can see it
the light at the end of the three tunnel um
and I also can see it coming earlier and get
out of the way. Yeah. Well, she's been so funny
lately because Brent has had some like tantrums or like
he'll be we'll be like playing and he's bossing me
around and he's like you have to do this, and
you have to do this, and Maven, we'll just cuddle

(13:21):
up on me and be like zoobi gooby gee, and
she interrupts his thing to just be goofy and like
snuggle me, which is really like fun. I'm like, yeah,
this is easier. And then and he's like I'm directing production.
He's like, he's like, you need to say this, and
he gets so frustrated with her, like she just steals

(13:45):
the spotlight and sort of a more effortless way. Boy,
I tell you. So I picked him up and he
was fine. He was just really upset that I took song.
He's like, the nurse's office is so boring. And so
we went home and he goes, can we go out
to dinner? I was like, you haven't eaten all day?

(14:05):
Are you hungry? He's like, maybe, we'll see. So we
went to a restaurant with Maven and he's he's a
little bit like under the weather, but just that makes
him calm and cuddly, and yeah, I kind of like
that first. And Maven was really goofy and he wasn't

(14:25):
bothering to argue with her for every and no reason.
And it was the best dinner we ever had, and
he ended up eating a bunch and we read books
and went straight to sleep and everyone was great. We
listen to music. Maven and I did more air drumming.
She's a good drummer. She's good. So night, Now you

(14:50):
need to tell me the story on Brin's door. I
came home the other day and I saw a piece
of paper that said Bryn, Yes, this is taped to
Brin's door. Says Bryn, yes man, yes, Mommy, yes, Daddy. Yeah.

(15:11):
So okay, you got the short end of the stick,
because here's what happened. It was like, okay, it's kind
of it felt like kind of like the Democratic primaries
where okay, Bryn was like throwing a tantrum for some
reason I can't He probably just didn't want me to
turn the TV off or something, and he was just
like being horrible, and I was like, you need to stop.

(15:34):
You can't be like punching me. Whatever. He's I'm sorry,
we're watching TV on a school night. I go away. No,
this is Sunday night. Um, so we're this is He's
just like losing it and he probably did watch too
much like YouTube that day whatever, But it was just
like once again, we are tired parents and sometimes you

(15:56):
have to have a lazy day and everyone is lazy. Um,
so he was kind of losing it. Bullup sound installation
blanket has fallen off the wall for the second time
in two years. It's about to get very echoe in
here because the wall is exposed. But you can hear it.
I don't even need it out there. Okay. So Bryn
was freaking out and then he's flipping out and I

(16:17):
was like, I am he Oh, he didn't want Maven
to read her book. He wanted he wants to be
the boss of bedtime and like do the book picker
line where he lays the books out and he picks
the books and he narrows it down to a category.
And like I was like, Mayven wants to read this
new book that she has not read a lot, and
we're going to read it. So I took her in

(16:37):
the other room to start reading it. And he was
still flipping out. And he found like a piece of
paper and wrote uh yes, Bryan, no Maven and taped
it to the door. So this is like his latest thing. Yeah,
this is like the latest one. He wants to make

(16:58):
the rules. He wants to explain things he discovered. He
can make signs. Now, He's like Martin Luther nailing his
thing to the church. He's like, I have I have
discovered the written word, and this is my form of protest.
And so he was like putting this sign on the
door and then he like maybe he was like May

(17:19):
even can't come in here, and he was like trying
to force the door closed and I was trying to
put it open, and May even, which I was very
proud of her, she just like ripped it off the door,
very like sassily, and he's like, maybe I come in here,
and he's like she was like, Brin, I took it off,
and they're like both fighting, and then like they got

(17:41):
in this much longer fight. I can't I was probably
like restraining him or something, but he oh, he like
ended up as I was trying to restrain him in
the bedroom because it was like probably a half hour
past bedtime or whatever, and I'm trying to keep them
in the bedroom and explained that this is bedtime while
all this is happening, and they're like, um, Barrin is

(18:03):
like flipping out and I was turning the lights off
and he hurt himself and started crying. So then he's
like crying as like finally starting to calm down. And
then Maven has like been getting into like mad at him,
trying to make her own sign and getting a pen
and paper and just insisting and she's trying to write
and she's trying to get me to like explain how

(18:25):
to write her her sign, which this is what kept
happening to me during this is like they were fighting
against each other, but then they would very quickly quickly
form an ally ship if they could like extend the
lack of bedtime. So Brin was like, I'll help you, Maven,
and he started at length explaining to her how to

(18:47):
write no, britn yes Maven on a piece of paper
and he spelled out every letter for her. I have
this on video, I have I should put some of it.
But because he's like, okay, that write this, and he's
like this as he's like wiping away his tears from
the tantrum and hurting himself, he's like someone is whose
listens to me? Yeah, He's like, let me tell you

(19:09):
how to make the signs. And then and then he
was like as she finished it and taped it up,
he was like, okay, so I have to correct it.
And then he was writing like he got out of
his red editor's pen. Yeah. So then they both had
to make another sign and it was like yes may Haven,
yes Bryn, yes mom. It was meant to be like reconciliatory.

(19:30):
What's the word of reconciliatory, reconciliation, and they like but
then at the end they just had to pick a
common enemy and they were like, no Daddy, and they
and so they're like, there is so Brinn wrote that
and like put big boxes around everything and put on
the door, and Maybn was like she just wrote like yes,

(19:52):
maybe yes, burn or whatever on her piece the favorite
and I was just like, oh my god, go to
bed and came home and saw it and just flumped
my shoulders, crawled into bed. Yeah. Well, unfortunately it was
like once again, it's just it's like a lot like
the Democratic primary, Like I had to get something done
and I had to pick a side at the end

(20:13):
of the day. And I didn't like, I want to
single you out as a problem, but you are the
bloomberg of this situation. Lisa let me um and yeah,
everybody hits bot um um. Well, he made a new

(20:34):
sign tonight and he color coded them all and it's
still yes Mommy, yes, Naven, yes, Bryn and no Daddy,
but he colored my green and I was like, I
don't get to go in and it hurts my feelings.
He goes daddy, Daddy, Daddy, don't worry it's only on St.
Patrick's Day. Oh you know what, I'm just realized that

(20:54):
he was asking me, Daddy, what color is Easter. I
was like, why he goes um, never mind, and now
I know why one of them's Easter. Cool. That's the day.
There's no mommy, that's right. Yes, although it says yes,
you are only get to go in on Easter, I

(21:15):
guess you got to do all the bedtimes and wake
ups and now it's time for We know it's what
they're watching. This is where we talk about our children's
media consumption habits beeth Okay, So I wanted to talk

(21:38):
about these YouTube yoga videos that Britt discovered. I'm actually
completely blanking on the name of these yoga videos. It's
like super Yoga. Yeah, it's like super Yoga Kids, nitro
Cosmic Kids, super Yoga. I think that's what it's called. Um. Anyway,

(21:59):
So Britt was me this thing the other night before
I realized about this YouTube channel where I thought he
had been going to like a yoga gym class or something,
because he acted out to me as if he were
a yoga instructor an entire yoga class while I was
on the yoga mat and it was actually really good,

(22:21):
and I felt like I was like, this is like
a good yoga class, Like this is the cheapest yoga
class I've ever Well, he was going through like different
like yoga poses, but he clearly knew a kid version
of them, and I didn't understand where where he had
learned this, but anyway, he like was like, Okay, we
have to do our dog poses. So he was doing

(22:41):
like downward dog, and then when he when he would
have me do upward dog, he would say I was
a wolf and then he would ask me to howl,
and he would add these little details that I felt
like actually accentuated the goal of the pose in terms
of like lengthening actually translated a physical thing. Yeah, Like

(23:01):
it felt like it was helping my body, And I
was like, this is in some ways better than any
other yoga class I've ever taken. But he like he
kept doing all of these posts and he does one
that he showed you the other day, which I think
is so funny, where wow be quiet theory. He does

(23:21):
a vampire posset where he lays Shavashna on his back
and like puts his arms across on his chest like
a vampire and then you sit up and then you
swivel your head to the left and then you grin
huge and he raises his eyebrows while grinning, and it's
so funny, and like, this is what's funny about the

(23:42):
whole The way he was teaching me the class is
like he kept doing these accentuated facial expressions like the
woman on the YouTube video, and he was just so
engaged in holding your attention. And he would do this
thing like at the end where he'd be like waving
and he'd be like he'd be like oh, he'd be
like thumbs up, great job you guys, all right bye,

(24:05):
and he would wave goodbye, and the showmanship was just
so funny. Like you thought he made all of his
up at a certain point. No, I thought that when
he was at school he learned a gym class or something. Yeah,
Like I thought he was at a gym class and
his gym teacher did like a yoga instruction and I
was like, she's good because he was like the way

(24:26):
he was doing it. I was like, this is really
engaging for kids, Like this is great. And then I
asked him, I was like, so do you learn that
at school? And he was like, no, I saw it
on YouTube when I was at Nana and Granddad's house,
and this is a video he watched with them. So
I was like oh and then so then I was
like I wanted to I was curious what the video was,

(24:48):
and we watched it on YouTube, but the actual video
was actually very much less engaging than what he was doing. Yeah. Well,
when I went in, they were watching it and not
doing yoga, and I was like, well, this is why
I hate YouTube. Well, he was refused, so he was
refusing to do it in front of you when the
YouTube videos on, which I thought was really funny because

(25:09):
he was doing it before we were watching it. Yeah,
and I said like, I asked him a question about
why he didn't want to do it, and then you
were like, Brenn, are you embarrassed? And he turned to
you and he goes, yes, daddy, thank you. He plopped
down and rolled his eyes and looked at me, and
it was like half start sarcastic, but truga, yes, daddy,

(25:32):
thank you. I was like, I was trying to remember.
I was like, I had a vague memory of something
that funny happening. I could remember what it was exactly
that it was just so funny though. We Yeah, he
was like, thank you for acknowledging my emotions. Oh my god,
I just reminded me of something very funny. Briant said

(25:53):
that I actually wrote down um So burndon Maven. We're
doing belly bumps. They're like brand belly bumps and they're
bumping bellies and giggling. I was like, this is very cute.
And then Maven took her shirt off, and then Brin
took his shirt off and they're doing I was like, Daddy,

(26:13):
naked belly bumps. And then Maybe was like, let's get
naked and do belly bumps. And I was like, yeah,
you know what, Okay, I think I think that's good.
And then Brin and then they just started like looking
at each other's naked torsos, and then brit started talking
about boobies. He's like, look at your boobies, Maven, and

(26:34):
she's like, these are my boobies, right, Daddy. I was
like when they're just like pinching her nipples and I
was like, well, those are your nipples. And then we
got into a conversation about boobies, and I explained when
when boobies happened, and what the difference is. They were
trying to play again with me the other night where
they wanted to be babies and drink from my and

(26:57):
they're like, and Maven has been doing this thing this
where she takes off her clothes and it's just in
her underwear to try to be a baby. And I
was like, you don't, no, I don't want your mouth
like on my boob, like and I was trying. It
was like, well, this was after brit So brit you know.
I explained that when you know, many girls get older

(27:20):
and grow boots and then Britton, uh Brin said, I
wrote this down. Yeah, daddy, I know when girls get
boobies their nipples look broken and creepy. They also look
like they're not nipples broken and creepy. I kind of

(27:43):
get it. And I was like, it's like, what are
these and why do we love them? You know, he's
talking about your boob broken? U must have seen other breasts.
I mean probably. It is like whenever I'm trying to
get dressed around them, they are like locked in, like

(28:05):
they're like what is going on over here? Like burns
rut of the age where he's sort of pretending not
to look. He's looking. And maybe maybe if I'm ever
peeing in the bathroom and the door is at all open,
Mayven bursts it open and she comes around and she
like puts her hands on my leg like she's like

(28:29):
a like a burglar scamp looking around a corner on
a French street looking to pick some pockets. And she
looks around and just it's just like locks in and watches.
It's a it's a most vulnerable feeling. This is what
our friend Nick's daughter Reya said to him. She did
the same thing. Is she's much younger. She's too, she's

(28:52):
too and she she said, that's your butt. It's like
that's what they're doing. They're like, what the heck is that?
Like they're just but they're broken and broken and creepy.
I mean, someday you'll understand, but society is no rust

(29:15):
rush to teach you. So I might as well give
you an eye fall so you have some sort of
realistic expectations the other really, so, the really interesting thing
I did today with brand Um is he was asking
me about years. He keeps trying to tell me that
George Washington is not dead, but he's not the president anymore.

(29:39):
And I was like, well, he'd be two d and
fifty years old. He goes, he's still alive. He'll die
on his next birthday. Okay. So we started talking about years,
and I go, do you know what year you were born?
And he's like, no, it's and you can tell sort
of an abstract concept, but he knows it's tonight. You

(30:00):
want to get in a time machine and he goes, okay,
so you, me and mommy, we all live in this apartment.
And I started listening things he knew, and I was like,
Maven was born before, No Maven, just Mommy and Daddy
and baby Bryn. And he's like, face lit up. He

(30:24):
was like the time that was perfect. I was the
center of the universe. Anden Brynn was born, and mommy
and daddy moved to Merrinick and then mommy daddy lived
in Brooklyn, and he was into this. I went all
the way back to nine, which is when my my,

(30:45):
one of my grandfathers was born. That's when we stopped
a hundred and one years earlier. But I will say
in the middle of it, we got into life and
death in a big way. Uh, like him realizing I
got I like I marked. I was trying to find
interesting things that happened in all these years. So I
got to my the death of my grandparents and like,

(31:08):
and ended with their births. We also talked about your
brother who passed away in two thousand three, and so
get ready for bread. He brought it up, or he
brought it up. Well, I was talking about years that
people were born. I didn't talk about that on the
way down. But then I got to like eighty three,

(31:29):
and I was like, because I kept going, and then
Ali was born. And then before that I painted picture
of what the family looked like, and I was doing
it with mine, and then I started doing with yours.
And so I mentioned his uncle his uncle, and he
is at the age where he had questions for the
first time about that, and so I explained it to him.

(31:51):
So you get ready because he's going to ask you
about this, but I was it was the very straightforward it.
We're talking abo that. But then we talked about a
million everyone in our family that he's ever been aware
of it all, and sort of starting going backwards all
the way to his great grandparents births, and I talked

(32:12):
about World War two, and like the Great Depression because
I was running out of things to talk about it
for each year and he was locked in. And I
feel like time suddenly he had some sort of reference
for it, or maybe I'm reading into it and he
just likes numbers. I mean, I do think he's fascinated,
like by the idea of there being things he's not

(32:34):
aware of. Like I think I said a couple a
few weeks ago when he said something where he was like,
I'm sorry, I said I knew I knowed everything. I don't.
But when he said that to me, I'm sorry what
I said, I knowed everything, but I don't. But the
day he said that to me was the same day
or like the same week that he was learning about

(32:58):
like Martin Luther King and like Martin Luther King Jr.
And like black history stuff where he like, for the
first time in his life, he was like hearing this
thing about how like people weren't nice one time, you know,
Like he was just like, oh, I thought everything was good,
but oh, you're just reminded me where This conversation about

(33:20):
years started as we were reading the book about extinct animals.
So we read the descriptions and it explained that they
died out almost exclusively because of humans, and so Britain
was like, that's so mean, why did that happen? Spoiler alert,
humans are the bad guys. Yeah, we found an animal

(33:45):
that was extinct went extinct in two thousands seventeen, so
that's where this whole thing began. It was a big,
big sick day for Brittie Boy. Yeah, that's a lot.
Still as a process, I just want to say that
we have made really poignant references to both Martin Luther

(34:09):
King and Martin Luther in one podcast. Wow, Full Circle Circle.
This next segment is called Listeners Want to Knows. That's
where we take questions and comments from you guys. Uh.

(34:32):
This email comes to us from Samantha. Subject line Listeners
want to Knows. Way to use this segment title love It. Hi,
Beth and Peter. I've been listening to your podcast since
our foster son came into our lives a year ago.
He was four days old and I was desperately searching
for any and all parenting advice. Your podcast is the

(34:53):
only parenting podcast I still listen to, and I'll continue
to need it since we just started the adoption process.
I love you guys. Wow, Um, here's my listener desperately
wants to knows Connor is one year old now and
all we hear from doctors is all the solid food

(35:13):
he should be eating and all the words he should
be saying. Yikes, this kid apparently loves baby cereal and
puade food. Do you have any uh? Did you have
any struggle? Uh? Here? And what did you do to
get your kids to make the switch? Any tricks to try?
I'm asking all my friends and trying everything. Side note,

(35:35):
he babbles all the time, so I'm focusing on the
food thing right now. Shameless plug. My new pregnant niece
will be getting there's no manual for her birthday next month.
Spoiler Samantha. I can't share him on social media yet,
but I know Beth likes a good baby picture, so
this is for you guys. She included, Oh he's so cute.

(36:00):
Oh my god, he has little he's like a tiny
pudgy la Keith Stanfield of a baby. Oh my god,
I wanna you wanna you want to devour those cheeks.
He's like he's he actually he looks a little bit
like our old our nanny's baby son. That we met
after she worked for us. That is a cute cut um.

(36:23):
I liked that. Also. I assume Samantha that this is
you in the picture. Her face is cut off and
it's just her smirk. It is a proud It is
a proud but humble smirk. I mean, you'd have to
be proud of that little man. He's alright. Real questions
in here though, Okay, the real questions about eating solids.

(36:46):
I will quickly say. About the talking thing, which you
don't seem concerned about, and I don't think you should be,
is both of our kids were totally different. Bryn talked forever,
but not with real words. Yeah, he was like that
what is it okay? Um? And Maven did not speak

(37:06):
until she had concrete words. Today, she was clear and direct.
She would be like no serial banana um. She Yeah,
they're very different. But what I would say about like
the first year or so of parenting, I feel like

(37:27):
your people fill your head with all these goals and
milestones and things that seem important at the time. I
even think this goes into like second and third year
of having kids. Were just like some kids start talking later,
some kids start crawling later, some kids have trouble gaining weight.
It's like a lot of times I think in retrospect

(37:48):
it is completely meaningless, and like especially the one year mark,
there's so many things they get measured at about one year.
The walking and talking and all that stuff happens, but
it's like such a slide scale. Yeah. I mean my
mom when always held the story growing up of taking
my brother to the pediatrician at like ten months old
or something and she was like, can I start feeding

(38:10):
him solids? And the pediatrician was like, you're not feeding
him solids? Like and he was like a big fat
baby and he had been just like having pure breast milk.
And it's like you're not like hurting you know, like
that much. It's just like human beings are more resilient
than we realized, especially when their babies. Like you'll, I

(38:31):
think when you take them to the doctor at their
one year mark, you'll know if there's like a serious problem,
and like all this other stuff is just the Petertrison
is trying to like find some feedback to give you,
but it's not like they're also I found patrician there
immediately giving you things that they said to a more

(38:53):
panicked parent who was trying to like, why isn't this
are sort of defensive and you're not even you weren't
even a part that kind. Well, I think we have
a particularly good pediatrician who's very like non alarmist, so
he's always like giving a caveat that's like, I mean,
it's not the end of the world, Like, you know,
he's not like I don't think he's trying to scare
us too much. But I'm gonna miss him when we move. Yeah,

(39:17):
well we could drive two hours. Well I don't see
him because you take the kids. But I appreciate that
he's a fan of mine. Yes, he loves you. He
loves redectress um, but yeah, I don't know um. But
I read this and I was like, it's incredible. Again

(39:39):
you've said this. If you want advice on a from
parents about kids at a certain age, it has to
be within the last year. It's like, when did we
switch to solid foods? Do you remember? And what was
like what were the staples, what were the go to
That's the stuff I'll never be able to tell you,
like with accuracy about like the rules of the first year.

(40:02):
Like I feel like it's like they can have honey.
After like nine to twelve months, they're like, they don't
feed a baby, honey, it'll it'll multiply like a gremlin. Yeah, exactly,
don't get don't get them wet after midnight. But they
turned into the baby from the Dinosaurs TV show. I'm

(40:24):
the baby. Um. I remember that. There was like three
years of our lives where all we ever fed our
kids was Annie's shells and cheese with with peas. Yeah,
and it was like we were like, well, at least
the peas are real food. We're doing all right. Like there,
that's like what I am still feeding our children at

(40:47):
about that level. Like my my exhaustion level like week
to week is like at least sevent that level of cooking,
which is just like here's some nuggets, I'm throwing them
in the oven. I'm ordering food. I'm doing like I'll
give them fruit or like try to sneak a vegetable in.
But like for the at least the last I would

(41:10):
say six months, you're the only one who's cooked like
a real meal for our children. It's true, and I
aim to get back there. I just don't like, how
about with a new kitchen. With a new kitchen, maybe
I just haven't had time to like think of a meal,

(41:31):
go to the grocery store by said ingredients for said meal,
like the number of steps it takes. That's why I
love Americas. That's text kitchen best simple recipes under thirty minutes.
And I usually have enough in greed and then there's
like five I do over and over because I when
I'm at the grocery store, I'm like, oh, I need salmon, chives, butter,

(41:57):
that's it, asparagus um. But what did I remember? What
one years old? In that high chair? What did we
throw down on that on the It was like fifty blueberries,
so many blueberries, um, and just yeah, it's all gonna

(42:20):
be tiny cut up stuff. What did we do cut up?
Like we just cut the chicken chicken. I remember we
started doing meat and that scared me so much. I
cut it so tiny. We were cutting a lot of
things very tiny for Britain especially, maybe not so much.
Like here's a chunk of cheese. Yeah, she was like hardy,

(42:42):
she was like, I'll figure it out. I made them grilled.
They've never liked grilled cheese until this this weekend. They've
had a weird thing about grilled cheese that has been
driving me crazy, Like I only offer it every month
or so or less because they're so weird about it.
But I'm like, how do you not like grilled cheese?
Because Brince said he didn't like melted cheese? And I go, okay,

(43:04):
how about I grill it? Watch me? And I had
him watch me do it, and then he was like, oh,
this is just a bunch of melted cheese. For a while,
he also had a thing about like case ideas where
he would get any remember, like we used to try
that a lot, and he would just like always. This
is probably back to my mom being so annoyed that

(43:25):
I didn't want to eat this thing that was unhealthy.
Oh it's flawed, and she's like, you gotta let you
love the flaw on. I'm like this is gross, and
she's like, it's so bad for you, you've gotta like it.
It's like and I had the same feeling. I was like,
I'm so angry you don't like grilled cheese. It's terrible
for you. You should love it. Yeah, they're just yeah,

(43:48):
you can't. You can't reason with these insane little people. Yeah,
I'm on there a no list for crying out loud. Um, So,
do we have any tricks? Fruit? Cut up fruit? Yeah,
it's really at that age. It still is to a

(44:10):
large extent, like practice at eating like that, this is
not like gonna be you know, you're just throw them
little bits of whatever you're eating, and then when they
don't eat any of that, give them fruit and garbage,
you know, give them puffs. Like it's not like it

(44:32):
is that thing that we tried to do. I don't know.
Sometimes we were getting more work, which is that like
just whatever you're eating you just said that, just like
throw a little bit on their tray. But they're just
not rational human beings and you can't like, don't beat
yourself up for their logic. But it was it's again,
other people's advice is not gonna solve this problem. It's

(44:55):
gonna be trial. And like we we stumbled upon things
just like throwing things at our kids and one day
they ate like a blueberry and we were like, that's it.
We've solved it right. Well, and kids just like fixate
on certain things. We were just like, okay, if that's
the thing, and I can get some food in them today, great,
Like currently our kids are into sticky rice like they

(45:18):
like are like, that's what they stipulate when we like
order foot and the like. How did you guys come
up with this? I didn't even hear that, right, I
don't know, but this is that's what they get when
we're ordering food and we are just tired. And I

(45:38):
got salmon, and may even got a little pizza, and
she ate my dinner. She's like, can I have your salmon?
I was like, she seems to like fish in general,
they like salmon. They both will eat that. Um, give
him salmon. Salmon just falls apart. Let's look at the
picture of this baby again. Should be I know you

(46:00):
guys can't see it, but just listen. Try to see
this baby's face by the sound we make when we
see the baby. Ready, one, two, three, He's so cute.
That's a good pose too. He's like innocent, but a
part of him is also like I see, he's just

(46:20):
like an old soul trapped in a teency body. And
I love him. I mean, we love him. Um, he's perfect.
I do I want, really want to continue to encourage
people to send in photos of their children. I don't want.

(46:41):
I don't mean this sound as angry as I did
towards the listener who didn't send a photo of the
baby he described as his large son and I but
there's still time. I forgive him. There's still time to
send me a photo, and we will not post them.
This is truly. We won't post your photos on the
internet that everyone is too scared to share. Um. I mean,

(47:04):
we'll post pictures of our kids. It's all we've ever known.
We're shameless and we have no sense of security. We're
I'm We're gonna have kids online and coronavirus in our bodies. Yeah,
I mean, no no boundaries, we know, no bounds. What

(47:26):
part of how I feel about the coronavirus is that,
let's book end of this podcast with I feel like,
given my given our disgusting pale bodies and are my
in particular horrible allergies, the universe owes it to me
that I think my ancestors survived plagues and this coronavirus

(47:51):
is not going to take me guns. Germ is in steel. Yeah,
that's the Europeans conquered the world because we we're so
gross the plague. I do think I believe that my
ancestors are among the most disgusting people on the planet
in terms of germ sharing. The French in the middle

(48:14):
of the plague Middle Ages. White people and still I
mean white people for much of history are among the
worst at spreading germs. We are filthy. It's the geography.
It's not the people, but the people are a results
of the geography. No, it's not just the geography. It's

(48:34):
like like white people throughout We're gonna end by throwing
all white people under the bus. No, just historically we
are bad and we need to own that. White people historically,
like throughout colonization, like they mocked medicine and things from
other cultures. So like black women were doing c sections

(48:55):
like sterilized in Africa like thousands of years ago. But
people up until the Dred You can watch the ken
Burns documentary on the Mayo Clinic and the Mayo brothers
or whatever their names are, they like Joey Mayo people
people in America at that time, we're willfully not washing
their hands before performing surgery because they wanted to mock

(49:20):
this new information about how germs might be spread. And
they're all like brand known is the spirit of America.
And I am going to wrap up this podcast by saying,
go wash your hands, even if it's not about you
getting sick. Yes, I will say, as much as we
are making light of the coronavirus, there are people with

(49:41):
serious h compromised immune systems who are older than Some
people have compromisedmune systems. Some people off tiny babies into
your elbow, Into your elbow if you feel, don't buy

(50:01):
a mask. You don't need a mask, but cough into
your elbow, your hands. Vote for someone who wants universal
health care. This has been another episode of We Knows Parenting.
If you would like to send us an email, ask
us your question, send us some listeners, wan who knows,
or send us a picture of your baby. You can
do so email us that we Knows pot at gmail

(50:24):
dot com, or you can leave us a voicemail at
three four seven three eight four seven three nine six. Um.
Won't you leave us a review? Um? Um? The last
review we got this woman didn't like our opinions on
car seats and it's valid, but somebody let's push that
one down. Okay? Um? And uh find us on Twitter, Instagram,

(50:48):
Facebook and We Knows pod. Guess what buy my book
by your book? He knows that there's no manual. There's
nothing there's nothing manual, there's no manual. See you next time.
Bye bye m

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