March 19, 2019 • 54 mins
Beth joins Peter to record this week’s podcast after a night out with the girls and three old fashions. Peter and Beth attend Bryn’s Pre-K parent teacher conference where they learn that he’s terrible with scissors. They sign Bryn up for skating lessons, confront Meaven's lies and Bryn’s potty mouth, and then discover that the Inuit people seem have it right when it comes to lying to your kids. Oh, and Beth loves Pokemon.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
I got. I got to say, Holy cow, it's we
knows parenting. Here we are at theater Journey. I'm Beth
Newell Best. It's late extra La. You were out, you
were out partying. What did you do? Listeners may not
(00:25):
believe this, but it's almost ten fifteen in the evening,
So we're staying up, we're raving, we're partying like animals.
I mean, I'm I'm staying up, uh to edit this
and send it out. It's funny. It's funny because someone
asked me to do a podcast recently. It's like I've
(00:45):
just skype in and they're in l a time. So
they asked me to do like a ten pm thing
and I was like, you know, I can't do that.
I've done that. I've done shows that are ten pm
and then I've had to commute home after them. But
I was like, I was just pretty honest because also,
like a lot of scheduling things were coming up at
the same time, and I was like, the me you're
(01:07):
going to get on that week not the best me.
I was like, can we just maybe push it back
a week? Um? And that's the me we're getting right now,
And that's the me I constantly give to the listeners
of this podcast. Now we constantly give the audience the
nine and this is the ten seventeen. Well, yeah, this
(01:28):
is different because I've been out, I've been eating, I've
filled to the gills with food and alcohol. What were
you drinking? I had three old fashions and here's what's
gonna let me explain. What's going to blow your mind
about this is that the restaurant had old fashions on tap. Okay,
(01:50):
that sounds I had a yucky reaction. It sounds bad.
It doesn't seem like it makes any sense. But our
waitress really sold us on it, and we were in
a mood to be sold and she was like the
thing is that she was like, it's pretty strong of
a drink. But what you what you have to understand
is that this sugar is distributed evenly. It's all mixed
(02:12):
in very well because it's been sitting there, so you
don't have like, uh, you don't have a drink that
gets sweeter as you drink it, is what she's saying.
And I was like, that makes zero sense to well,
it's it's very fully mixed up, is what she's saying.
So you're not getting like a more bittersip one second
(02:33):
and then a less Wait wait, wait, wait, So they're saying,
by putting it in a giant barrel, it's more mixed
than if you put it in a little glass and
then mix it up. Well, I don't. I think it's
being like made by an automated system. It's like being
thoroughly mixed up. It's not like fashion machine. I don't
think someone's like pouring it into a tank like I'm
(02:54):
picturing an old woman with a big wooden spoon constantly
stirring it. This is the future of our lives. Everything
tastes exactly the same. Well, I'm glad you had the
an amazing night. You were out with the ladies. Yeah,
it was the ladies. It got crazy kids, we talked,
you talked kids nuts. Yeah. Well, uh, I was here
(03:17):
with our kids and I got Maven to say, over
and over, we're gonna need a bigger boat. Did she
say it like that with that deup of a voice.
She tried to. And that's why it was so funny.
I had a really funny moment with Maybe, and I
told you this, but she I was getting bread of
the bathtub, drawing him off and then she kind of
(03:39):
snuck out of the bathtub on her own and said
she needed to rinse her hair, which I thought was
just her being too saying nonsense. And then I started
drawing her off, and I realized there's a bunch of
soapy SuDS in her hair. Sope, you did not put
in her hair. No, I had already rinsed her hair
from washing it, and so it was like very soapy.
And I said, Maven, did you put soap in your hair?
(03:59):
And and she just looked up at me, wide eyed
and made the most guilty face. And Brin, who was
watching this, looked at it and said, Maven, because her
face was so guilty, like me and Bryn could both
sense it. It was a very funny. Lot is all
about doing everything herself. She's a sneak, as she and
(04:23):
her Both of our kids are sneaks. She's a better
one than Bryn. They're both not very good. I mean,
mostly because they're two and four. Uh, but tonight they
got into all these weird toilet trees. When I was
cooking dinner, Burn found a giant tub of vasoline. Oh no,
here's what happened. So he got into the medicine cabinet's way.
(04:45):
You're saying, I must have because he also got dental
floss and contact lens case. Here's what's scary, I'll tell
you lately, I'm just going to interrupt you, is that
Maven has started climbing on the counters getting into the cabinets.
And she's also started climbing. I noticed where our TV
is and the entertainment unit. She started to get up.
And she does it very quietly and quickly and very intelligently,
(05:10):
when you don't even know she's capable of it yet,
and it's like like announces it. She strikes like lightning,
like you know what I mean. Like Bryn is like
always trying to get into everything all the time, but
you know his limits because he's very like transparent, and
you know, like Maven is suddenly like, oh, I just
learned how to bring the whole system down. Here I'm
(05:32):
hanging from the chamber and you have not yet noticed
I'm a bond villain secretly, And I did you see
on Saturday when she dragged a full chair from our
dining area into the kitchen. It was like, yeah, like
you we have a big, big, pretty heavy chairs and
(05:52):
I was just like, I didn't know you could do that,
and she just made up her mind. I was cringing
because of the how loud it must be downstairs. I
didn't do anything about it anyway. They found a tub
of vasoline at dinner. Brand Brandon was like, oh, no,
my I hurt my mouth and I was like, no,
you didn't. You go yeah, I need to fix it,
but I don't need a band aid. I'm like, what,
(06:15):
they're always trying to get something. I'll be right back.
And then he came back with his entire face and
hands covered in vasoline, holding a slippery tub of vassaline
and he goes, I fixed it, daddy. I was like,
oh gosh. The number one thing they're always trying to
calm me into is a band aid. And so they're
trying to like sell their wounds. If they get any
(06:38):
sort of slight bump, they're like, oh, she had a
raw nose from blowing your nose, so you will have
a cold. And she's like, I need a band aid
from my nose. And when they get chapped lips they
want a band aid too, and you're like, there's no
way I can put a band aid on your lips.
I'm not you fool you you just don't know anything.
But they always they're they're trying, constantly trying to sell it.
So they're like, I'm bleeding, and I'm like, you're not leading,
(07:00):
there's no blood anywhere, and then they're like, I'm bleeding,
So they're trying. So they're trying to get band aids.
And then Brand's other thing is trying to get medicine
because he knows it tastes like sugar. It's delicious. I mean, frankly,
it's delicious. So anytime he eats too much food, which
I tell him as it's happening much as I do
you is, I'm like, hey, do you notice that you're
eating like a lot of very rich food really quickly
(07:21):
about to get a stomach ache? I speak for both
of us when I say nope, I understand, and he
so he just keeps going, and then he does get
a stomach ache, and then he turns to me and says,
I need medicine, and I'm like, well, you have a
stomach because you just ate a bunch of sugar really fast,
so I'm not going to give you more medicine. And
then he goes he thinks. I'm like, you don't get
medicine for a stomach ache like that, and he then
(07:44):
he goes, um, oh, no, you're right, I don't have
a stomach ache. I just need medicine like I have
that other pain that medicine news for like whatever I
can say for you to put more sugar in my
mouth please? Um. He ate all his dinner tonight, and
(08:05):
he goes, Daddy, finished all my dinner. I decided I
get a snack. Now, yeah, it's like, that's not how
it works. There's been a lot of snacking. I gave
him a snack because he did eat all his dinner.
But I'm like, I'm not doing this all the time.
I've gotten much better recently of just there's no I
don't negotiate with terrorists. I've been better. But then like
(08:28):
I have these do not need to say terrorists in that,
but you know what I mean, no negotiation and I
ignore them. It's been good, I understand because our children
are terrorists. So I think I've been a lot better
with them. And they're definitely like sort of understanding when
(08:49):
I decided to just lay down the law and they
kind of tant them and get over it. But I've
also had moments recently, like days where I'm just like,
this day is horrible on multiple fronts. I'm phoning it
in for the next five hours, and I'm just like,
you guys can have whatever you want right now. And
I think that works as a sporadic move, not as
(09:12):
a constant Oh yeah, well you say nos, so that
when you need it, you got it. Yeah, But I
like you, I told you this. There's details I won't
board the listeners with. But I had like multiple like
sad bad things happen on Friday, and I like, even
before all of them happened, I was like, you know,
(09:33):
I'm exhausted, I have a cold. I'm not doing this tonight.
And you had I'm not doing this parenting thing. Yeah.
I was like, I'm not parenting, I'm not doing it.
And you had you had to go do auditions for
improv teams. So I was like, I like, I'm so tired.
I have to watch two kids alone. I'm gonna make
this as easy as possible. And I went to the
(09:54):
grocery store and got snacks. I got pre cut fruit.
I was like, here's a healthy thing I can throw it.
Make is I have to put in zero effort. I
got I went to the toy store, got a couple
of books, got a couple of tiny stuffed animals, and
really listeners. It made all the difference. Yeah, you know what,
Like that little watercolor book was great where the page
(10:18):
has the paint on it already my favorite move because
I was like, I may even is really entertained for
long periods if she can draw or paint or whatever.
But she's still at an age where you really can't
trust her with paint. She's gonna, as she did the
other day, paint all over her hands, very very proud.
She comes in and she's like, I need to wash
(10:38):
my hands, and her entire hands and half her forearms
are drenched in pink paint. Her dream to like drown
in pink paint. Luckily it's washable, so it's not the
scariest thing in the world. But you're also like, can
you not like wipe that everywhere? Can we talk about
parent teacher conferences? Okay, let's do it. Oh are you
ready for this? We had parent teacher conferences. We went in,
(11:00):
we were very not nervous, and they love brand there's
they said he's very smart. So we're going to brag
about our son a little bit. Um, so I don't.
I mean, I feel like most parents probably feel this
way when they go in where they're like my kids,
I think they're great. Why wouldn't someone else, you know,
(11:22):
like there, Um, I'm not going to assume that all
parents think that, but I think most parents on some
level are like, yeah, like it's the best, Like what like, um,
well he's doing well, and uh there's two things. They
had two negative notes. One was like once he gets stuff,
(11:43):
he gets restless and doesn't pay attention to getting a
little bored at like circle time and the routines he needs.
They very kindly said, it seems like he needs a
little more stimulation, which obviously we took. Compliment. Yes, the best,
but he's atrocious with scissors. This is a really funny,
Like the one criticism they had of our four year
(12:05):
old is just that he can't cut well with scissors,
which to me, he's crap at scissors. It's to me,
it's like the most obvious like skill that I'm like,
of course I haven't nurtured our son handling sharp blades,
like I have two children to watch. Yeah, Like, yeah,
he's shitty at scissors. Good, uh no, But we've talked.
(12:29):
We talked about how this is just not a skill
that comes to him, Like Maven is very tactile, she's
into painting and drawing. He's not horrible at drawing, but
he's just so much more skilled when it comes to
like being verbal and like engaging. And so it's just
funny because you're like, yeah, yeah, he's not good. Showed
us this. So they created this a little piece of
(12:51):
paper and they'll draw a path for the kids to cut.
And one of them is a straight line and the
next one is like a zigs jagged back and forth,
and then the last one is a curve swirly and
you're supposed to cut follow the path. And Brand did
the straight line pretty well, and the other two dragon.
The other two are basically two more straightly. Teacher was like,
(13:14):
I told him, at some point, you know, just trying
to do a straight line across buddy, Like, you're not
going to get this. Like she basically was like he
was trying to do the curves, and I knew he
didn't have it in him, so I said, just do
a straight line. Do you also notice that she's lovely Um,
the teacher and the assistant teacher were great. They made
us feel really good about brand. But you could tell
(13:36):
when she was pulling out the scissor piece of paper
that she was nervous because she was like delivering bad news. Yeah,
it was really funny how serious they were in terms
of being like, so, you know, yeah, we'll work on that,
Like as if we all were going to like go
home heavy hearted about this. We didn't send him to
pre k so that he can't cut a squiggly line.
(13:58):
The funny thing is they give you like they're trying
to give you progress that they give him writing his
name at the beginning of the year and writing his
name at the end of the year, and you see
like a little bit of improvement. But it's like it
is like they feel like they failed him on scissories.
We'll try hard, and we're like great, great. Honestly, you
know what, I don't know when do I use cutting
(14:22):
in my life to open Sorry, you know, this is
just a problem we have in our family, my husband's family,
they're just scissors scissor lexic. You know, I'm a daughter's
of the scissors family. Sort of a shameful union we've
desecrated your family's name. We're getting him the best people
(14:47):
on this. We're sending him to the local. So can
I tell you something I'm really excited about this week?
Is it skating lesson? Young girl? We are sending Bryn
to level one toddler skating lesson, not toddlers tots. It's
(15:08):
not toddler. He's as I wouldn't call him a top,
but I understand that's the name of the class. It's
like four to six, uh, level one skating, which is
we're gonna put them in snow pants and a bike helmet,
like a real like sports lingo phrase, like when they're like,
you guys are the guppies and you're the looks. Are here,
(15:32):
the mites here, the squirts here, the peewees, You're the Bantams.
You guys are the dukes and the and and the
swizzle sticks. You guys are the big leagues. You're the centaurs.
And you over there you're the wranglers. Where are my
yearlings at? It's pretty much his name as the preschool
(15:52):
children's teacher conferences, like we are getting there. We are
if we can all just calm together, this kid is
going to be an All Star. Anyway, our son is
going to go to the Olympics, is what I told
him about skating. He was I don't think you were
there for this. He was asking me and my sister
(16:13):
because he was asking something about like the plans for
the week or whatever, and I mentioned he had skating,
and my sisters in the car was kind of telling
we're talking about in front of her, and he was
like asking if like what like why you skate or
some sort of like random thing, and he was sort
(16:35):
of I was sort of like, I don't know why
this came up, but I was like, well, yeah, you
could get really good and go to the Olympics. And
he was like, go to the Olympics. And it was
clearly like me just even casually talking about it. This
is like even his four year old brain was suddenly
like I'm gonna be amazing at this, Like here I
(16:56):
come world. Well, you know, I played hockey for four
teen years, but I started in a skating class. It
was a figure skating class and when I was four
and five. Have we talked about this in the podcast,
because it's worth repeating you notoriously as a figure skating
UH student at would you say, four years old for
(17:17):
you when you guys had your class show for figure
skating and my bowler hat and sequence. You loved bowing
for the audience and you would skating around and bow
like crazy. You just love the showmanship so much. And
then when you started taking hockey the next year, a
(17:38):
lot of times you would be wave. You would be
skating around and you'd wave at the stands like as
if you were performing. Beth, I was performing and I
was great. I know you were your magnificent Thank you.
(17:58):
And now it's time for or everyone's favorite segment about failure.
We don't know. This is where we talk about a
UM parenting mishap, failure or embarrassment, and Beth seems to
have one. Yeah, so I already shared this story with you,
but um the other night, as putting the kids to
bed and they were playing with toys in the bedroom
(18:20):
and Maven's Maven was playing as a toy and to Brin,
she was like, are you kidding me? Which is like
an ongoing thing now they talk about is like lying
and kidding. So she's like, are you kidding me? And
then Brin just turned to her and went and listeners,
if you have children listening right now, you might want
to pause this. Uh, it's going to get a little blue.
(18:41):
So Brynt, I am nervous. Brynt turned to Maven and said,
are you trying to fuck me? And it was so
funny because his emphasis on fuck like it was so
in character, like it felt study like he's like, are
(19:02):
you trying to fuck me? Like it was just and
he clearly had thought about the word a lot. And
I was like, where did you hear that? And he
immediately did that thing where his eyes kind of well
up and he looked so sad and he knows he's
done something wrong. And then he was getting really sad
and he was like a kidd a daycare said that
(19:22):
to me, And I was he was like getting really sad,
like remembering it almost like I think he was just
so overwhelmed by like the weight of it, like because
clearly he had been like probably already reprimanded or someone
had been reprimanded for saying this in front of him,
and he got so emotional and I was like, why
are you so sad? He's like, and I was like,
(19:42):
are you sad because you didn't understand what it meant?
And he was like yeah, and it was like just
this weird thing, like I kind of understand. It's just
someone forcefully saying a word like that at you that
you don't know what it means, and it's just burned
into your memory of like you know, I mean, when
you're that, you don't hear those words unless somebody's saying it,
(20:03):
because you know they shouldn't. Well, whatever kids said it
heard an adult or an adult on TV say it
with a certain intensity that they were like, this is
worth remembering, you know what I mean. Yeah, Well, there's
Britain has a friend at daycare who has an older
brother who's in fifth grade. Yeah, I mean it's like
at daycare lot because he lives in that house. Yeah, well,
(20:25):
I'm trying to ask him. I tried to ask him
who said it, and he wouldn't say and he kept
saying he didn't remember, which seems pretty suspects since there's
like five kids at daycare. He was like, I don't
know five kids that are capable of Yeah, what if
it was one of the babies, I'm gonna suck you.
(20:47):
Oh my god, if one of those babies is messing
with my son, I'm going to talk to them. No,
I'm going to get that baby a piece of my mind.
I'm going to threaten the daycare owner and tell her
to get that baby out of there. Baby, he's feeling.
My sins do heads. My sons say, I've had three
old fashions. My son only has two heads, and I'm
(21:07):
trying to keep them safe. This cold is killing me.
We've all had a cold. Not terrible, but when is
it ever good? It's not a bad cold. It's just
like when you're you know, a parent, and you're not
getting good nights sleep. It's like any cold just lingers
for like way too long. Remember when this podcast was
(21:31):
only about how our kids were sick. We haven't talked
about this in so long. What a gift, What a
gift it is that our kids have growing immune system. Yes,
well I do feel in somebody's good about that. Where
I think the your kids getting sick all the time,
it's sort of like a hump that you have to
get over, and it's going to happen at some point.
(21:54):
It's just if you delay sending them to daycare or
some sort of public thing where they're another kids, it's
just going to happen at a later age, you know
what I mean. Yeah, I mean yeah, I mean I'm
all for let him go outside, eat dirt, build that immune.
I just kinda feel like, let them get sick now
while they're not important, and like nothing they're doing matters
(22:16):
and we're not we're not speaking, you know. And there's
a lot of kids out there with serious, serious, curious
medical conditions. Obviously that's a that's a different story, but
in general, yea, the whole like pure can I tell
you if any story though? When I was kind of unrelated,
but I went to the doctor a couple months ago.
(22:38):
I finally got a check up with a primary care physician,
first time in like a bazillion years, and so it's
a new doctor and she was like kind of grilling
me because she had later admitted she was like, when
people make an appoint with me after this amount of time,
it's usually because something is wrong. So she was like,
I'm just trying to figure out what's wrong that you
(22:59):
came here after. And I was really funny, but she
was grilling me, and she just said, my husband's blood pressure. Yeah,
but like the way she was grilling me about like
my thyroid is She's like, I take I take synthetic
irone hormone for like, like I have to take it
every day or I'll die basically, So she was kind
of grilling me about that and asked me how often
(23:19):
I go to the end of chronologist and blah blah blah,
And I'm like, no, I'm on top of it. But
then she kept trying to find ways to make it
seem like I didn't understand how to be on top
of that. Anyway, long story short, after all of this
like interrogation and her like talking to me like I
was an idiot, she said something about she was like,
I'm the same age as you. And then she said
something about having one kid, and I said I had
(23:40):
two kids or whatever, and she was like, do your
kids get sick a lot? She was like, my kids,
my one kid, he just started daycare or no, she's
she said, um, he's getting sick a lot and I
can't take any more work off. And you know, my
mom watches him sometimes, but she can't do it all
the time. And she was like asking me all of
a sudden, so vulnerable after talking down to me about
(24:02):
so many medical issues, she was like mom to mom,
she was like, is this like a thing like I
was like, I think they just get like get sick
a lot, like the first winter that they're exposed to
a lot of other kids, and then it kind of
tapers off. And she was like, I hope so. And
I was like, you are a doctor, you have Like
did that improve her standing with you or make it worse?
(24:26):
It did improve it because it's sort of like affirmed
what I was trying to like affirm to myself through
confidence is to just be like, you don't have to
take it personally that this person is being so like
kind of aggressive with you, like because I get this
a lot with doctors, and I think a lot of
women do. It's just like doctors just talk to you
(24:46):
like you're so dumb, and it's like sort of it
seems like often bred into the culture of like medical
school and stuff that they're supposed to like I think
the patient is an idiot, and so I don't come
to medical school two oh two this classes is your
patient a dumb dumb The answer is yes, good you
(25:07):
get a nay goodbye. But anyway, I felt like, deep down,
I know there's like a good woman in this person
who decided to be a doctor because she wants to
help people. I just think she's been like her training
has been a little too focused on being like, what's
going on here? Like it's just very like mechanical. You're
you're I liked. I go to that place too, and
(25:27):
I adet a similar vibe. It's like, Oh, you seem
very good at what you're doing. You're not a You're
not an incredible people person. Yeah. I just think bedside
manner could be given a lot more intention attention, and
they should take some improv classes. Honestly, they should just
take a workshop with us. Hi, welcome to improv for doctors. Um,
great doctors. For now, you're going to listen to the patient.
(25:50):
Your suggestion is uh, snake surgery, new circus, Mama, Peter.
That's what improv. That's give a suggestion because the patient
is a suggestion. Suggestion is me the patient? I've I'm
very sick. What's wrong with me? Boy? I teach Jim
Brov But you wouldn't know it from that garbage the
(26:12):
thing I just said, I don't know, we don't know
as anything. But yeah, anyway, we spent a long time
on this story. UM. This next segment is called did
you knows. It's where we share some parenting related information
(26:32):
we find on the internet. UM. This is a really
fascinating article that one of our wonderful listeners, Eliana Um,
shared with us on Facebook. And this is from NPR.
And this is about the parenting style of the Inuit people, UM,
which I thought was very interesting. Here, I'm gonna give
(26:53):
you a little little excerpts from this. So traditional Inuit parenting.
Parenting is incredibly nurturing and tender and a gentle cultural
of views scolding or even speaking to children in an
angry voice as inappropriate, even if the child hits or
bites you. There is no raising your voice with little kids.
(27:14):
You often think that they're pushing your buttons, but that's
not what's going on. They're upset about something and you
have to figure out what it is. That's their point
of view in this. Traditionally, the Innuit saw yelling at
a small child as demeaning. Uh. It's as if the
adult is having a tantrum and it's basically stooping to
the level of the child. They say shouting. Uh, think
(27:35):
about what you did. Go to your room. You're teaching
children just to run away and you're teaching them to
be angry. When you yell at a child or even
threatened with something like I'm starting to get angry, we're
training the child to yell. We're training them that yell
when you get upset, and that yelling solves problems. Uh.
In contrast, parents who control their own anger are helping
(27:55):
their children learn to do the same. Kids learn emotional
regulation from us. So that's not a super unique thing,
I think for a lot of parenting um uh styles
akin to that. But the other big thing that in
this I thought was really interesting is they use storytelling
as a huge part of discipline, and in one way,
(28:18):
there's something like instead of yelling at your kid not
to to stay away from the ocean, they'll use sort
of like folklore stories like don't go near the ocean
or like this, like the lies I tell our children
about wolves. Yes, but you know what, and I've read
this in the article. They're like, well that seems a
little uh, you know, you want to discount like that
(28:40):
sort of folklore thing, but you know, you realize, like
the stories with a dash of danger in kids totally
get it because there these are situations for me where
my kid's life is semi in danger, which is them
wanting to like dart into the street or like hang
(29:01):
out too long outside, like it's just when they're trying
to run away from you. I do think being like, hey,
there's some scary strangers around, like maybe be a little
scared of the world, is like you have to give
them a face to something that they can't actually comprehend,
Like they kids can't actually comprehend getting hit by a car,
(29:23):
like a modern danger, you know what I mean. But
there's something primal about saying there's like a monster wolf
or something. Yeah. Well, I think the effective thing is
not that you're lying to your child, but you're actually
creating an association that they'll hold onto because if you
just yet lack find when I just yell or I
get angry, all they see is my anger and they're
(29:46):
not connecting it to the behavior. They're just connecting they
become blind to it, and they're responding to me emotionally
and they get emotional and that's what they learned. Well,
I do think it's helpful now that they're a little older,
I try to talk through some of stuff more and
I'm like, well, hey, I don't want you to get
hit by a car, like I sort of just explaining
(30:07):
my logic, even if they don't care or understand that,
they're sort of like, oh, she's speaking from a point
of view and not just like inexplicably angry at me. Yeah. Well,
the other thing that they mentioned in this article that
aside from those sort of folklore type things to keep
kids away from the specific dangers, when kids act out,
(30:28):
whether they hit somebody or something, they then they don't
get angry. They step back and they address it through
storytelling and and reenactment, and they put on basically a
play with the kid where they then say they set
the scene back up and they're like, wow, you hit
(30:50):
me and that hurt me, uh like, and they work
through it in this sort of in a playful tone.
They keep it really light and they turn it into
a game, and it's storytelling of the thing that just happened,
and they're able to create a safe environment where they
can recreate the event without the presence of confrontation or anger. Um.
(31:11):
I'm paraphrasing obviously, but this is how interpreted. And I
was like, I mean, this is a story pirates where
the we teach in schools and it's not always creative writing.
It's other subjects. And we we've learned a long time
ago that the second you know what, we teach persuasive
writing classes and story pirates. We have a character come
(31:33):
in the first day whose name is Scott Heartless. This
is one one program, and he comes and he talks
about how great it is that the park next door is.
He thinks we should bulldoze the whole park and build
a parking lot. It's a great idea, and he's a
just a big villain that everyone hates. And then they're like,
we need to convince this guy, like how we can
write persuasive essays. It's like, you give it a story,
(31:55):
you give it a character, and kids actually remember it
in multiple parts of their brain, and it's connected to
their tangible, everyday lives, and they're far more likely to
trigger those memories um in what they're doing, as opposed
to you're just saying like, don't do this, they'll just
remember that anger. So lying to kids is good. That's
(32:16):
what you took from that. Yeah, I think that speaks
to what we have gotten. We've been better at recently
of that, like not barguing, barguing, barguing is when you
argue and bargain, not barguing with your kids and just
saying what you mean and not being angry about it,
and then not responding because you're not giving them anything
(32:40):
to latch onto, and they get tired of it and
they move away. So put on a play. Parents out there,
just put on a musical for your kids. The love It,
the Lights, the Pizza, Papa Papa, the World's started. Attenrum
(33:06):
was my feelings. What do you say? I don't know that.
I was doing the musical of their of kids feelings.
All right. So how are those Gin and Tonics, don Gintos,
those old fashions treating you now that now that it's
getting later, it's getting late. Well, they're just making me
tired like alcohol always does. Oh that's fascinating. Hot take
(33:30):
Hot take a lot of sugar alcohol. You put it
in a barrel in its machine. It's just mixed up better,
you know. Um. Yeah. This next segment is called would
you Knows? It's where we discuss a parenting hypothetical. Beth,
(33:52):
are you ready for this? This comes to us from
Sarah and her daughter Elizabeth, who were recently read some
listener mail from Elizabeth gave us the advice about staggering bedtime, um,
which we advice we have not taken yet because bedtime
(34:13):
has been going well. But if things changed, do you
notice Maven is overtired at bedtime? But there's just really
not much I can do about it, Like unless I'm
like Brand, you watch TV over here, I'm putting into
but there's no way she's going to agree to that. Well,
we could, it could work, but it's going to There
will be three really terrible nights the first three friends.
(34:36):
I just think she hates bedtime so much right now,
and like the only thing she is okay with is
the performance of the routine with Brynn there, like she
she's following his lead. We're reading books tonight and Brynn
is reading and Maven is identifying letters. So I had
her tell me what the first letter was of every
word on the page, and then Brand got to read
(34:59):
all the words and they really liked that. It was good,
But it took five minutes to read half a book.
That's how it's been lately. I got this new book
with all these ocean animals, and it's like you just
have to keep naming things. What's what's this, what's this
really fascinating storytelling? Anyway? The hypothetically you have from our listener,
(35:20):
Hello Beth and Peter, thank you for reading our idea
on bedtime. Elizabeth and I were thrilled it made our day.
We wish you luck in the continuing adventures. At bedtime,
Elizabeth wanted to send you a parenting hypothetical. This is
the daughter, This is a child listening to this adults show.
(35:41):
She definitely did not want to do a time travel question.
Thank you, Elizabeth. We're sort of done with those for now,
so we worked on this, developing this situation for you.
The idea is, Elizabeth. I just helped with some of
the details and hopes that it fulfills your needs for scenarios,
but ethics here it goes. Suddenly one day you all
(36:05):
wake up and you are in a Pokemon world. You
are told that Brendon Maven have become Pokemon and you
will be their trainers. Of the thirteen plus Pokemon jims,
you need to go to eight of them and win
Jim badges from each one in order to be transported
(36:26):
home to your normal non Pokemon lives. You receive a
Poke Poke Dex, which I assume is an index a
Pokemon when you arrived that tells you all the pokemon
and their attacks. You are told to choose which Pokemon
Brendon Maven will be. Once you decide, you cannot change
which Pokemon they are, but you can trade which of
(36:49):
you is training which one? What Pokemon do you choose?
We continue to enjoy the podcast, looking forward to a
new episode each week. Thank you and keep up the
great work. Best sarannalysm with Beth, did you follow any
of that? I tried really hard and no, um, I don't.
The thing is, I don't care about this type of
(37:11):
thing and it's really hard for me. Oh, we know
we've listened to the show before. But the thing is
she was setting up a lot of information about the
scenario and then her main question was just which Pokemon
would you choose to be? Which I don't know any Pokemon.
I will talk you through this. I know very little. Well.
All I know is our son has a new pair
(37:32):
of pajamas that I let him buy a target that
have Pokemon on them because he really liked the look
of it. And then he started watching the show, which
I have not watched with him. He's watched one episode,
but he kind of knows that they make funny noises
that are similar to their names. That's what I've grasped from,
you know. But there's another one that's like glargal or
(37:56):
something yea, or like Charlema. All right, let's start here.
Explain to me, Beth as you understand it the rules
of Pokemon. Oh, I think I actually do know this. Okay.
So there's like a main character kid who's like like, uh,
(38:18):
he's basically like a Pokemon pimp or something, and he
has like a ball with all the Pokemons he owns
because he tries to fight them against other dudes Pokemon's
like he's a Pokemon trainer. It's like pitople fighting and so,
but he has to go try to capture Pokemon so
that he owns them, and then he very problematic. Yes, um,
(38:44):
but in the one episode I listened to the background
as I was on my computer, the whole episode was
about these evil trainers that don't treat their Pokemon with respect. Yeah,
I mean, it's still not a system. I would want
my son to start mapping his idea of the world.
All these are sentient creatures, it seems, okay, So yes,
(39:06):
they fight. They train, and it's like, okay that we
make them fight. They're just little cute idiots. We're not
here to judge Pokemon, but we have. Um so, okay,
so you know, people who made Pokemon are doing just fine.
Oh the people are doing just fine. Thank you. Anyway,
(39:28):
So who would you fight? Do you have an answer
to this? I would do like the main guy or whatever. Okay, Pikachu. Okay,
I was gonna I don't expect you to know many Pokemon.
I don't, but I was gonna think of crazy if
you didn't know Pikachu. I know. Okay, can you name
any other Pokemon I already said, like Glargal besides Charlemagne,
(39:50):
Glargal and Pikachu, which are the obvious choice, Monotone, Gloribal, oh,
fitbit um Trudy. I can name a few more, mostly
dazzless Bulbasore, Charmander. That's what I said. Um uh sid
(40:21):
duck Duck. Yeah, he's a cybernetic duck. I don't know.
I don't know what he looks like. I just know
that name. Uh and Mew and Mew two Mew two
yeah they're cats mew and then there's a second one
Mew two number two. I don't think so, I don't know. Boy,
(40:43):
how do I know this? I've well, I know so
much beautiful Japanese culture getting lost in translation. I would
have Bryn be Mew two because, as I understand it,
he's the most powerful Pokemon and can may defeat whole
armies with his brain powers. How do you know that?
(41:04):
Because I heard Pat May talking about it? And do
you have the Pokemon app on your phone? Have you
ever had the Pokemon app on your phone? Answer? Honestly,
I have not. I don't play games on my phone
because they make me sad and angry because I can't
stop playing them. I forgot. This is like a big
(41:25):
contentious issue we had years ago where games, games and
other things with your phone. I think we're making you crazy. Yeah,
I quit them for you well, from my mental health
in our relationship. Yeah, I don't remember if that. Like,
(41:45):
I don't think games was a singular issue for me,
but it was a symptom of a lack of attention.
It was a real Um you were acting as though
you were in a game all the time, and your
decisions were very impulsive. I kept throwing poke balls at strangers. Um,
and I would try to run up walls and swing on.
(42:06):
So you're only allowed to throw pookey balls at me.
Your mind, your pokey balls blocked at me. Sorry that
got graphic. Yeah, this was a pre me too error.
So we're throwing pokey balls everywhere, but you understand. Um um,
so I would have Brand be mew two because I
believe he's the most powerful, in which case no other
(42:28):
choice matters, because I could defeat everybody. And maybe i'd
have may even be side Duck because that's a real
cute sounding. Okay, well you've done your research and you win.
That was that is literally the full extent of my
Pokemon knowledge. That hit right. If there's any Pokey fans listening,
(42:50):
I apologize. I thought you could say, don't write in
well to you right in, because there won't be many
listening unless there's parents younger than us, probably maybe grew
up with it. Anything that you have to say to
me on this subject will make me laugh, So feel
free to write it, Elizabeth. I'd like to apologize for
(43:15):
so you know what's gonna happen. Someone's going to write
it and they're going to be like, actually, um, when
the Pokemon game was installed in the iPhones that actually
became a real like boon for child predators. And this
is a serious issue. And uh no, this is Pokemon
go is when all those people were walking and walking
and across the highway staring at their phones trying to
(43:37):
find poke balls. Yeah, so if you have an email
like that, we get it. The world is not a
great place. Um so don't we already know the world.
We already know. Uh, let me make sure I answer
the question. You're told to choose Pokemon will be yeah,
they cannot change. Yeah, mew two inside, please write in
(44:01):
Elizabeth and tell me what Si Duck does because it
sounds cute. And then she probably just enslaves tinier Pokemon
or something. It's a it's the Pokemon that has its
own smaller community of poke balls that that Sid Duck enslaves.
(44:25):
Would you knows? This next segment is called Listeners want
to Knows. It's where you, guys send us your questions
and comments. Here we go. This comes to us from Jewels.
(44:45):
She writes, Hi, guys, I love the show. I hope
this message finds you cozy and well we are both.
My questions questions are what kind of diet does your
family have on an average day. What are your thoughts
on it in relation to behavior, etcetera, etcetera. I'm from
a very quote unquote woo woo town where many people
(45:07):
believe in magic, tarot, etcetera, and the home of farming
slash ultra local food movement has arrived with a bang.
One of the interesting beliefs I've come across is the
quote packaged goods are poisoning our minds and bodies mindset.
We have all heard about sugar highs, but do you
believe all the claims about corn syrup dies, many of
(45:30):
which are illegal in Europe, intentionally addictive additives or hormones,
and meat. Just curious about your thoughts. While I do
definitely try to feed my family mostly natural vegan foods,
my nine year olds taste can complicate things a bit. Anyway.
Show is one of my self care rechards rituals. I
always throw it on when it feels stressful to be
(45:52):
a POC parent in a white college town. Y'all are
the best. Thanks considering jewels, what do we think you know?
What's funny? Okay? So, as we've um discussed with much
contention on the podcast. I am like a woo woo person,
but the idea of living in a woo woo town
(46:13):
I think is like hell on earth to me. I
don't know, you have the appropriate amount of woo woo
in you and surrounding you for your comfort. There's just
a weird packaging of woo woo with certain people who
are like it's fiercest advocates, where they're like they're trying
to one up each other, and I think this kind
(46:35):
of like jockeying to have like the most organic food
is one of the things that happens. But like I mean,
I'm into like a locally sourced organic food, Like I
think that's great, But there is like a strictness to
anything like this that I find off putting, uh, as
(46:55):
someone who's been partying a lot of like women's media
and like absolute tis m about what we're supposed to do.
Like I just that that that thing always gets under
my skin when people are like you absolutely must never
do this ever. And I feel that way about like
just eating meat or whatever garbage junk food, Like I
(47:16):
think there's a time and a place for junk food
and we can all sprinkle it through our lives, like
as long as like if that's the bulk of your diet, yeah,
like that's going to cause some problems. But I think
we can all go a little easier on ourselves with
like certain issues like this that we're not like just
sort of screeching to the choir, you know, like yeah,
(47:38):
I'm you know in general, Yeah, I don't want to
have yeah corn syrup and all that stuff and everything
I eat. But I'm also not the one where I'm
like we're being poisoned. It's personally, it's about moderation and
I'm going to enjoy some crap things and then I'm
going to make sure that I'm I'm most of the
(48:01):
week cooking fresh. Like Here's what I think is like
really backwards about a lot of our culture, and especially
like messaging it targeted to women, is that it's so
focused on what we shouldn't do and like about how
we could get things wrong, when if it would just
shift the focus to what we should do, like which
is get fresh fruits and vegetables and things like if
(48:24):
you were making sure you're getting a decent amount of
things those things in your diet, you wouldn't be craving
as much garbage, you know what I mean, Like, that's
just your body wouldn't want like that. And I mean,
obviously there's like a million other related issues such as food,
desserts and stuff we're not getting into. So I'm not
trying to shame anyone for like not being great at this.
There's a lot of other factors. But um, anyway, I
(48:47):
just think it's just like it's fine to get people
excited about fresh food. Yeah, it's just when it's just
the judgment and it's the it's the self righteous attitude,
uh that that some people. There's plenty of people I
know that have very strict diets and they have their
own beliefs and they don't bother you with it. They'll
(49:08):
talk about it if you ask them, but they're not
there to judge you saying this is what you have
to do because I figured out that's like anything you
figure out, that's I mean, that's the whole deal of parents.
I think this is a whole like this is a
huge issue in politics and a million million other things
where people get so focused on how they can like
one up other people and be like, I'm actually more
liberal than you. I know more about this than you
(49:29):
blah blah blah. But like the people who are spending
all their time doing that are not doing the things
in their day to day lives to give back to
their community and do all the things they claim they
stand for. You know what I mean, if you're going
out there like looking to tell someone they're not doing
it as good as you. Yeah, well it's and it's
human nature too, you know. And I think you see
(49:52):
this in parenting, where you're struggling as a parent and
then you figure something out that like works or makes
sense for you, and that becomes part of your identity
where you're like, oh, I figured it out. I feel good,
I feel safe. And then when people have a different
point of view, the selfish, like impulsive, emotional part of
(50:13):
your brain says, well, if you think something different than me,
then you're saying that I'm wrong and you're challenging my identity.
So I must shut your thing down and you must
be wrong so that I can continue to be right.
And that's not what's happening. You have your deal. People
have their deals. Well, a lot of these people are
on the side of like important issues, and I understand
where their passion comes from. Is just sort of like
(50:34):
there's a way to bring things up that invites people
to care about them versus telling them they don't get
it and that they're bad. You know what we're telling
don't yell at them and tell them a story, put
on a play. I mean, this is what we need
to learn how to do with our kids. I'm I mean,
I'm sort of joking. You know you your entire careers
built around satire, which makes tough messages. I'm infinitely more digestible.
(51:00):
By making in an absurd story, people don't feel threatened
and they can actually think about the message, whereas if
you're just angrily being like, don't do this, people get
defensive and they don't absorb the information as well. Did
I explain satire right? I mean, there's so much more
to it. It's the real art. For if you'd like
(51:21):
to take a reductress sat a reductresses satire writing, glad
got a reductress dot com. We've got some courses you
can take online. Do do we get any of that money? Well?
See ye checks? Well, thank you very much, jewels. Well,
(51:42):
the question is what do we do? What do we eat?
What we eat? As we do? Like, okay, I would say, yeah,
I've um personally been doing way better in terms of
preparing meals and just going and I do. I go
into all of the produce and the meats that I
(52:04):
buy and look and say, exactly what's in this? Are
there any chemicals? No? I don't care. Should I may
be fine, but I've only got one life to live,
and my parents are still alive and they all this
crap growing up, and then you know, I don't think
there's many chemicals when your parents were kids. But okay,
that's when it started. I think we shop at a
grocery store that I think a lot of the options
(52:25):
are like kind of leaning organic, so you tend to
like at least accidentally buy I do accidentally buy a
lot of organic like chemical. I was like, this is expensive. Yeah,
I think that's good. Like to try not to get
chemicals in your body. I think it's more important than
like to count calories. I disagree, Um, I think sugar
(52:47):
is bad for us. Like anyway, I don't worry about
if I'm I find that if I have a low calorie,
uh die it and I'm not having too much salt
blah blah blah, if I'm losing weight and exercising. I
naturally start eating the food that doesn't have all the
(53:08):
ship in it. There is there a better way to
do it? Yes? Maybe we will. My watch alarm just
went off and I don't know what for time to
master bait. You caught me. This has been another episode
(53:31):
of We Knows Parenting. Gotta Plug It live show coming
up April in Brooklyn. We have Chuck Bryant from movie
Crush and stuff. You should know. We got Abby crutch Field.
We've got o Fia Eisenberg from Asking NPRS asked me another.
You can get tickets. Go to the website we Knows
Parenting dot com, click on that live appearances link and
(53:53):
you can get tickets through there. Who I'm excited for
that bath? You're excited? I Am? Email us at we
Knows we Knows Pod at gmail dot com. Your questions, stories, advice,
et cetera. Social media's best What do we got? Put
us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram at we Knows Pod If
(54:15):
you like us with admitted questions Here story gives some
advice to just an impossible parenting hypothetical For the wideo segment,
you can email us we knows pot at gmail dot
com or leave a voicemail at three four seven three
eight four seven three nine six. Yeah. Yeah, we double
plugged the email address. That's fine, that's fine, and you're
all fine. Listeners, have a wonderful night. Good right, good night,
I got. I got to say, Holy cow, it's we
knows parenting. Here we are at theater Journey. I'm Beth
Newell Best. It's late extra La. You were out, you
were out partying. What did you do? Listeners may not
(00:25):
believe this, but it's almost ten fifteen in the evening,
So we're staying up, we're raving, we're partying like animals.
I mean, I'm I'm staying up, uh to edit this
and send it out. It's funny. It's funny because someone
asked me to do a podcast recently. It's like I've
(00:45):
just skype in and they're in l a time. So
they asked me to do like a ten pm thing
and I was like, you know, I can't do that.
I've done that. I've done shows that are ten pm
and then I've had to commute home after them. But
I was like, I was just pretty honest because also,
like a lot of scheduling things were coming up at
the same time, and I was like, the me you're
(01:07):
going to get on that week not the best me.
I was like, can we just maybe push it back
a week? Um? And that's the me we're getting right now,
And that's the me I constantly give to the listeners
of this podcast. Now we constantly give the audience the
nine and this is the ten seventeen. Well, yeah, this
(01:28):
is different because I've been out, I've been eating, I've
filled to the gills with food and alcohol. What were
you drinking? I had three old fashions and here's what's
gonna let me explain. What's going to blow your mind
about this is that the restaurant had old fashions on tap. Okay,
(01:50):
that sounds I had a yucky reaction. It sounds bad.
It doesn't seem like it makes any sense. But our
waitress really sold us on it, and we were in
a mood to be sold and she was like the
thing is that she was like, it's pretty strong of
a drink. But what you what you have to understand
is that this sugar is distributed evenly. It's all mixed
(02:12):
in very well because it's been sitting there, so you
don't have like, uh, you don't have a drink that
gets sweeter as you drink it, is what she's saying.
And I was like, that makes zero sense to well,
it's it's very fully mixed up, is what she's saying.
So you're not getting like a more bittersip one second
(02:33):
and then a less Wait wait, wait, wait, So they're saying,
by putting it in a giant barrel, it's more mixed
than if you put it in a little glass and
then mix it up. Well, I don't. I think it's
being like made by an automated system. It's like being
thoroughly mixed up. It's not like fashion machine. I don't
think someone's like pouring it into a tank like I'm
(02:54):
picturing an old woman with a big wooden spoon constantly
stirring it. This is the future of our lives. Everything
tastes exactly the same. Well, I'm glad you had the
an amazing night. You were out with the ladies. Yeah,
it was the ladies. It got crazy kids, we talked,
you talked kids nuts. Yeah. Well, uh, I was here
(03:17):
with our kids and I got Maven to say, over
and over, we're gonna need a bigger boat. Did she
say it like that with that deup of a voice.
She tried to. And that's why it was so funny.
I had a really funny moment with Maybe, and I
told you this, but she I was getting bread of
the bathtub, drawing him off and then she kind of
(03:39):
snuck out of the bathtub on her own and said
she needed to rinse her hair, which I thought was
just her being too saying nonsense. And then I started
drawing her off, and I realized there's a bunch of
soapy SuDS in her hair. Sope, you did not put
in her hair. No, I had already rinsed her hair
from washing it, and so it was like very soapy.
And I said, Maven, did you put soap in your hair?
(03:59):
And and she just looked up at me, wide eyed
and made the most guilty face. And Brin, who was
watching this, looked at it and said, Maven, because her
face was so guilty, like me and Bryn could both
sense it. It was a very funny. Lot is all
about doing everything herself. She's a sneak, as she and
(04:23):
her Both of our kids are sneaks. She's a better
one than Bryn. They're both not very good. I mean,
mostly because they're two and four. Uh, but tonight they
got into all these weird toilet trees. When I was
cooking dinner, Burn found a giant tub of vasoline. Oh no,
here's what happened. So he got into the medicine cabinet's way.
(04:45):
You're saying, I must have because he also got dental
floss and contact lens case. Here's what's scary, I'll tell
you lately, I'm just going to interrupt you, is that
Maven has started climbing on the counters getting into the cabinets.
And she's also started climbing. I noticed where our TV
is and the entertainment unit. She started to get up.
And she does it very quietly and quickly and very intelligently,
(05:10):
when you don't even know she's capable of it yet,
and it's like like announces it. She strikes like lightning,
like you know what I mean. Like Bryn is like
always trying to get into everything all the time, but
you know his limits because he's very like transparent, and
you know, like Maven is suddenly like, oh, I just
learned how to bring the whole system down. Here I'm
(05:32):
hanging from the chamber and you have not yet noticed
I'm a bond villain secretly, And I did you see
on Saturday when she dragged a full chair from our
dining area into the kitchen. It was like, yeah, like
you we have a big, big, pretty heavy chairs and
(05:52):
I was just like, I didn't know you could do that,
and she just made up her mind. I was cringing
because of the how loud it must be downstairs. I
didn't do anything about it anyway. They found a tub
of vasoline at dinner. Brand Brandon was like, oh, no,
my I hurt my mouth and I was like, no,
you didn't. You go yeah, I need to fix it,
but I don't need a band aid. I'm like, what,
(06:15):
they're always trying to get something. I'll be right back.
And then he came back with his entire face and
hands covered in vasoline, holding a slippery tub of vassaline
and he goes, I fixed it, daddy. I was like,
oh gosh. The number one thing they're always trying to
calm me into is a band aid. And so they're
trying to like sell their wounds. If they get any
(06:38):
sort of slight bump, they're like, oh, she had a
raw nose from blowing your nose, so you will have
a cold. And she's like, I need a band aid
from my nose. And when they get chapped lips they
want a band aid too, and you're like, there's no
way I can put a band aid on your lips.
I'm not you fool you you just don't know anything.
But they always they're they're trying, constantly trying to sell it.
So they're like, I'm bleeding, and I'm like, you're not leading,
(07:00):
there's no blood anywhere, and then they're like, I'm bleeding,
So they're trying. So they're trying to get band aids.
And then Brand's other thing is trying to get medicine
because he knows it tastes like sugar. It's delicious. I mean, frankly,
it's delicious. So anytime he eats too much food, which
I tell him as it's happening much as I do
you is, I'm like, hey, do you notice that you're
eating like a lot of very rich food really quickly
(07:21):
about to get a stomach ache? I speak for both
of us when I say nope, I understand, and he
so he just keeps going, and then he does get
a stomach ache, and then he turns to me and says,
I need medicine, and I'm like, well, you have a
stomach because you just ate a bunch of sugar really fast,
so I'm not going to give you more medicine. And
then he goes he thinks. I'm like, you don't get
medicine for a stomach ache like that, and he then
(07:44):
he goes, um, oh, no, you're right, I don't have
a stomach ache. I just need medicine like I have
that other pain that medicine news for like whatever I
can say for you to put more sugar in my
mouth please? Um. He ate all his dinner tonight, and
(08:05):
he goes, Daddy, finished all my dinner. I decided I
get a snack. Now, yeah, it's like, that's not how
it works. There's been a lot of snacking. I gave
him a snack because he did eat all his dinner.
But I'm like, I'm not doing this all the time.
I've gotten much better recently of just there's no I
don't negotiate with terrorists. I've been better. But then like
(08:28):
I have these do not need to say terrorists in that,
but you know what I mean, no negotiation and I
ignore them. It's been good, I understand because our children
are terrorists. So I think I've been a lot better
with them. And they're definitely like sort of understanding when
(08:49):
I decided to just lay down the law and they
kind of tant them and get over it. But I've
also had moments recently, like days where I'm just like,
this day is horrible on multiple fronts. I'm phoning it
in for the next five hours, and I'm just like,
you guys can have whatever you want right now. And
I think that works as a sporadic move, not as
(09:12):
a constant Oh yeah, well you say nos, so that
when you need it, you got it. Yeah, But I
like you, I told you this. There's details I won't
board the listeners with. But I had like multiple like
sad bad things happen on Friday, and I like, even
before all of them happened, I was like, you know,
(09:33):
I'm exhausted, I have a cold. I'm not doing this tonight.
And you had I'm not doing this parenting thing. Yeah.
I was like, I'm not parenting, I'm not doing it.
And you had you had to go do auditions for
improv teams. So I was like, I like, I'm so tired.
I have to watch two kids alone. I'm gonna make
this as easy as possible. And I went to the
(09:54):
grocery store and got snacks. I got pre cut fruit.
I was like, here's a healthy thing I can throw it.
Make is I have to put in zero effort. I
got I went to the toy store, got a couple
of books, got a couple of tiny stuffed animals, and
really listeners. It made all the difference. Yeah, you know what,
Like that little watercolor book was great where the page
(10:18):
has the paint on it already my favorite move because
I was like, I may even is really entertained for
long periods if she can draw or paint or whatever.
But she's still at an age where you really can't
trust her with paint. She's gonna, as she did the
other day, paint all over her hands, very very proud.
She comes in and she's like, I need to wash
(10:38):
my hands, and her entire hands and half her forearms
are drenched in pink paint. Her dream to like drown
in pink paint. Luckily it's washable, so it's not the
scariest thing in the world. But you're also like, can
you not like wipe that everywhere? Can we talk about
parent teacher conferences? Okay, let's do it. Oh are you
ready for this? We had parent teacher conferences. We went in,
(11:00):
we were very not nervous, and they love brand there's
they said he's very smart. So we're going to brag
about our son a little bit. Um, so I don't.
I mean, I feel like most parents probably feel this
way when they go in where they're like my kids,
I think they're great. Why wouldn't someone else, you know,
(11:22):
like there, Um, I'm not going to assume that all
parents think that, but I think most parents on some
level are like, yeah, like it's the best, Like what like, um,
well he's doing well, and uh there's two things. They
had two negative notes. One was like once he gets stuff,
(11:43):
he gets restless and doesn't pay attention to getting a
little bored at like circle time and the routines he needs.
They very kindly said, it seems like he needs a
little more stimulation, which obviously we took. Compliment. Yes, the best,
but he's atrocious with scissors. This is a really funny,
Like the one criticism they had of our four year
(12:05):
old is just that he can't cut well with scissors,
which to me, he's crap at scissors. It's to me,
it's like the most obvious like skill that I'm like,
of course I haven't nurtured our son handling sharp blades,
like I have two children to watch. Yeah, Like, yeah,
he's shitty at scissors. Good, uh no, But we've talked.
(12:29):
We talked about how this is just not a skill
that comes to him, Like Maven is very tactile, she's
into painting and drawing. He's not horrible at drawing, but
he's just so much more skilled when it comes to
like being verbal and like engaging. And so it's just
funny because you're like, yeah, yeah, he's not good. Showed
us this. So they created this a little piece of
(12:51):
paper and they'll draw a path for the kids to cut.
And one of them is a straight line and the
next one is like a zigs jagged back and forth,
and then the last one is a curve swirly and
you're supposed to cut follow the path. And Brand did
the straight line pretty well, and the other two dragon.
The other two are basically two more straightly. Teacher was like,
(13:14):
I told him, at some point, you know, just trying
to do a straight line across buddy, Like, you're not
going to get this. Like she basically was like he
was trying to do the curves, and I knew he
didn't have it in him, so I said, just do
a straight line. Do you also notice that she's lovely Um,
the teacher and the assistant teacher were great. They made
us feel really good about brand. But you could tell
(13:36):
when she was pulling out the scissor piece of paper
that she was nervous because she was like delivering bad news. Yeah,
it was really funny how serious they were in terms
of being like, so, you know, yeah, we'll work on that,
Like as if we all were going to like go
home heavy hearted about this. We didn't send him to
pre k so that he can't cut a squiggly line.
(13:58):
The funny thing is they give you like they're trying
to give you progress that they give him writing his
name at the beginning of the year and writing his
name at the end of the year, and you see
like a little bit of improvement. But it's like it
is like they feel like they failed him on scissories.
We'll try hard, and we're like great, great. Honestly, you
know what, I don't know when do I use cutting
(14:22):
in my life to open Sorry, you know, this is
just a problem we have in our family, my husband's family,
they're just scissors scissor lexic. You know, I'm a daughter's
of the scissors family. Sort of a shameful union we've
desecrated your family's name. We're getting him the best people
(14:47):
on this. We're sending him to the local. So can
I tell you something I'm really excited about this week?
Is it skating lesson? Young girl? We are sending Bryn
to level one toddler skating lesson, not toddlers tots. It's
(15:08):
not toddler. He's as I wouldn't call him a top,
but I understand that's the name of the class. It's
like four to six, uh, level one skating, which is
we're gonna put them in snow pants and a bike helmet,
like a real like sports lingo phrase, like when they're like,
you guys are the guppies and you're the looks. Are here,
(15:32):
the mites here, the squirts here, the peewees, You're the Bantams.
You guys are the dukes and the and and the
swizzle sticks. You guys are the big leagues. You're the centaurs.
And you over there you're the wranglers. Where are my
yearlings at? It's pretty much his name as the preschool
(15:52):
children's teacher conferences, like we are getting there. We are
if we can all just calm together, this kid is
going to be an All Star. Anyway, our son is
going to go to the Olympics, is what I told
him about skating. He was I don't think you were
there for this. He was asking me and my sister
(16:13):
because he was asking something about like the plans for
the week or whatever, and I mentioned he had skating,
and my sisters in the car was kind of telling
we're talking about in front of her, and he was
like asking if like what like why you skate or
some sort of like random thing, and he was sort
(16:35):
of I was sort of like, I don't know why
this came up, but I was like, well, yeah, you
could get really good and go to the Olympics. And
he was like, go to the Olympics. And it was
clearly like me just even casually talking about it. This
is like even his four year old brain was suddenly
like I'm gonna be amazing at this, Like here I
(16:56):
come world. Well, you know, I played hockey for four
teen years, but I started in a skating class. It
was a figure skating class and when I was four
and five. Have we talked about this in the podcast,
because it's worth repeating you notoriously as a figure skating
UH student at would you say, four years old for
(17:17):
you when you guys had your class show for figure
skating and my bowler hat and sequence. You loved bowing
for the audience and you would skating around and bow
like crazy. You just love the showmanship so much. And
then when you started taking hockey the next year, a
(17:38):
lot of times you would be wave. You would be
skating around and you'd wave at the stands like as
if you were performing. Beth, I was performing and I
was great. I know you were your magnificent Thank you.
(17:58):
And now it's time for or everyone's favorite segment about failure.
We don't know. This is where we talk about a
UM parenting mishap, failure or embarrassment, and Beth seems to
have one. Yeah, so I already shared this story with you,
but um the other night, as putting the kids to
bed and they were playing with toys in the bedroom
(18:20):
and Maven's Maven was playing as a toy and to Brin,
she was like, are you kidding me? Which is like
an ongoing thing now they talk about is like lying
and kidding. So she's like, are you kidding me? And
then Brin just turned to her and went and listeners,
if you have children listening right now, you might want
to pause this. Uh, it's going to get a little blue.
(18:41):
So Brynt, I am nervous. Brynt turned to Maven and said,
are you trying to fuck me? And it was so
funny because his emphasis on fuck like it was so
in character, like it felt study like he's like, are
(19:02):
you trying to fuck me? Like it was just and
he clearly had thought about the word a lot. And
I was like, where did you hear that? And he
immediately did that thing where his eyes kind of well
up and he looked so sad and he knows he's
done something wrong. And then he was getting really sad
and he was like a kidd a daycare said that
(19:22):
to me, And I was he was like getting really sad,
like remembering it almost like I think he was just
so overwhelmed by like the weight of it, like because
clearly he had been like probably already reprimanded or someone
had been reprimanded for saying this in front of him,
and he got so emotional and I was like, why
are you so sad? He's like, and I was like,
(19:42):
are you sad because you didn't understand what it meant?
And he was like yeah, and it was like just
this weird thing, like I kind of understand. It's just
someone forcefully saying a word like that at you that
you don't know what it means, and it's just burned
into your memory of like you know, I mean, when
you're that, you don't hear those words unless somebody's saying it,
(20:03):
because you know they shouldn't. Well, whatever kids said it
heard an adult or an adult on TV say it
with a certain intensity that they were like, this is
worth remembering, you know what I mean. Yeah, Well, there's
Britain has a friend at daycare who has an older
brother who's in fifth grade. Yeah, I mean it's like
at daycare lot because he lives in that house. Yeah, well,
(20:25):
I'm trying to ask him. I tried to ask him
who said it, and he wouldn't say and he kept
saying he didn't remember, which seems pretty suspects since there's
like five kids at daycare. He was like, I don't
know five kids that are capable of Yeah, what if
it was one of the babies, I'm gonna suck you.
(20:47):
Oh my god, if one of those babies is messing
with my son, I'm going to talk to them. No,
I'm going to get that baby a piece of my mind.
I'm going to threaten the daycare owner and tell her
to get that baby out of there. Baby, he's feeling.
My sins do heads. My sons say, I've had three
old fashions. My son only has two heads, and I'm
(21:07):
trying to keep them safe. This cold is killing me.
We've all had a cold. Not terrible, but when is
it ever good? It's not a bad cold. It's just
like when you're you know, a parent, and you're not
getting good nights sleep. It's like any cold just lingers
for like way too long. Remember when this podcast was
(21:31):
only about how our kids were sick. We haven't talked
about this in so long. What a gift, What a
gift it is that our kids have growing immune system. Yes,
well I do feel in somebody's good about that. Where
I think the your kids getting sick all the time,
it's sort of like a hump that you have to
get over, and it's going to happen at some point.
(21:54):
It's just if you delay sending them to daycare or
some sort of public thing where they're another kids, it's
just going to happen at a later age, you know
what I mean. Yeah, I mean yeah, I mean I'm
all for let him go outside, eat dirt, build that immune.
I just kinda feel like, let them get sick now
while they're not important, and like nothing they're doing matters
(22:16):
and we're not we're not speaking, you know. And there's
a lot of kids out there with serious, serious, curious
medical conditions. Obviously that's a that's a different story, but
in general, yea, the whole like pure can I tell
you if any story though? When I was kind of unrelated,
but I went to the doctor a couple months ago.
(22:38):
I finally got a check up with a primary care physician,
first time in like a bazillion years, and so it's
a new doctor and she was like kind of grilling
me because she had later admitted she was like, when
people make an appoint with me after this amount of time,
it's usually because something is wrong. So she was like,
I'm just trying to figure out what's wrong that you
(22:59):
came here after. And I was really funny, but she
was grilling me, and she just said, my husband's blood pressure. Yeah,
but like the way she was grilling me about like
my thyroid is She's like, I take I take synthetic
irone hormone for like, like I have to take it
every day or I'll die basically, So she was kind
of grilling me about that and asked me how often
(23:19):
I go to the end of chronologist and blah blah blah,
And I'm like, no, I'm on top of it. But
then she kept trying to find ways to make it
seem like I didn't understand how to be on top
of that. Anyway, long story short, after all of this
like interrogation and her like talking to me like I
was an idiot, she said something about she was like,
I'm the same age as you. And then she said
something about having one kid, and I said I had
(23:40):
two kids or whatever, and she was like, do your
kids get sick a lot? She was like, my kids,
my one kid, he just started daycare or no, she's
she said, um, he's getting sick a lot and I
can't take any more work off. And you know, my
mom watches him sometimes, but she can't do it all
the time. And she was like asking me all of
a sudden, so vulnerable after talking down to me about
(24:02):
so many medical issues, she was like mom to mom,
she was like, is this like a thing like I
was like, I think they just get like get sick
a lot, like the first winter that they're exposed to
a lot of other kids, and then it kind of
tapers off. And she was like, I hope so. And
I was like, you are a doctor, you have Like
did that improve her standing with you or make it worse?
(24:26):
It did improve it because it's sort of like affirmed
what I was trying to like affirm to myself through
confidence is to just be like, you don't have to
take it personally that this person is being so like
kind of aggressive with you, like because I get this
a lot with doctors, and I think a lot of
women do. It's just like doctors just talk to you
(24:46):
like you're so dumb, and it's like sort of it
seems like often bred into the culture of like medical
school and stuff that they're supposed to like I think
the patient is an idiot, and so I don't come
to medical school two oh two this classes is your
patient a dumb dumb The answer is yes, good you
(25:07):
get a nay goodbye. But anyway, I felt like, deep down,
I know there's like a good woman in this person
who decided to be a doctor because she wants to
help people. I just think she's been like her training
has been a little too focused on being like, what's
going on here? Like it's just very like mechanical. You're
you're I liked. I go to that place too, and
(25:27):
I adet a similar vibe. It's like, Oh, you seem
very good at what you're doing. You're not a You're
not an incredible people person. Yeah. I just think bedside
manner could be given a lot more intention attention, and
they should take some improv classes. Honestly, they should just
take a workshop with us. Hi, welcome to improv for doctors. Um,
great doctors. For now, you're going to listen to the patient.
(25:50):
Your suggestion is uh, snake surgery, new circus, Mama, Peter.
That's what improv. That's give a suggestion because the patient
is a suggestion. Suggestion is me the patient? I've I'm
very sick. What's wrong with me? Boy? I teach Jim
Brov But you wouldn't know it from that garbage the
(26:12):
thing I just said, I don't know, we don't know
as anything. But yeah, anyway, we spent a long time
on this story. UM. This next segment is called did
you knows. It's where we share some parenting related information
(26:32):
we find on the internet. UM. This is a really
fascinating article that one of our wonderful listeners, Eliana Um,
shared with us on Facebook. And this is from NPR.
And this is about the parenting style of the Inuit people, UM,
which I thought was very interesting. Here, I'm gonna give
(26:53):
you a little little excerpts from this. So traditional Inuit parenting.
Parenting is incredibly nurturing and tender and a gentle cultural
of views scolding or even speaking to children in an
angry voice as inappropriate, even if the child hits or
bites you. There is no raising your voice with little kids.
(27:14):
You often think that they're pushing your buttons, but that's
not what's going on. They're upset about something and you
have to figure out what it is. That's their point
of view in this. Traditionally, the Innuit saw yelling at
a small child as demeaning. Uh. It's as if the
adult is having a tantrum and it's basically stooping to
the level of the child. They say shouting. Uh, think
(27:35):
about what you did. Go to your room. You're teaching
children just to run away and you're teaching them to
be angry. When you yell at a child or even
threatened with something like I'm starting to get angry, we're
training the child to yell. We're training them that yell
when you get upset, and that yelling solves problems. Uh.
In contrast, parents who control their own anger are helping
(27:55):
their children learn to do the same. Kids learn emotional
regulation from us. So that's not a super unique thing,
I think for a lot of parenting um uh styles
akin to that. But the other big thing that in
this I thought was really interesting is they use storytelling
as a huge part of discipline, and in one way,
(28:18):
there's something like instead of yelling at your kid not
to to stay away from the ocean, they'll use sort
of like folklore stories like don't go near the ocean
or like this, like the lies I tell our children
about wolves. Yes, but you know what, and I've read
this in the article. They're like, well that seems a
little uh, you know, you want to discount like that
(28:40):
sort of folklore thing, but you know, you realize, like
the stories with a dash of danger in kids totally
get it because there these are situations for me where
my kid's life is semi in danger, which is them
wanting to like dart into the street or like hang
(29:01):
out too long outside, like it's just when they're trying
to run away from you. I do think being like, hey,
there's some scary strangers around, like maybe be a little
scared of the world, is like you have to give
them a face to something that they can't actually comprehend,
Like they kids can't actually comprehend getting hit by a car,
(29:23):
like a modern danger, you know what I mean. But
there's something primal about saying there's like a monster wolf
or something. Yeah. Well, I think the effective thing is
not that you're lying to your child, but you're actually
creating an association that they'll hold onto because if you
just yet lack find when I just yell or I
get angry, all they see is my anger and they're
(29:46):
not connecting it to the behavior. They're just connecting they
become blind to it, and they're responding to me emotionally
and they get emotional and that's what they learned. Well,
I do think it's helpful now that they're a little older,
I try to talk through some of stuff more and
I'm like, well, hey, I don't want you to get
hit by a car, like I sort of just explaining
(30:07):
my logic, even if they don't care or understand that,
they're sort of like, oh, she's speaking from a point
of view and not just like inexplicably angry at me. Yeah. Well,
the other thing that they mentioned in this article that
aside from those sort of folklore type things to keep
kids away from the specific dangers, when kids act out,
(30:28):
whether they hit somebody or something, they then they don't
get angry. They step back and they address it through
storytelling and and reenactment, and they put on basically a
play with the kid where they then say they set
the scene back up and they're like, wow, you hit
(30:50):
me and that hurt me, uh like, and they work
through it in this sort of in a playful tone.
They keep it really light and they turn it into
a game, and it's storytelling of the thing that just happened,
and they're able to create a safe environment where they
can recreate the event without the presence of confrontation or anger. Um.
(31:11):
I'm paraphrasing obviously, but this is how interpreted. And I
was like, I mean, this is a story pirates where
the we teach in schools and it's not always creative writing.
It's other subjects. And we we've learned a long time
ago that the second you know what, we teach persuasive
writing classes and story pirates. We have a character come
(31:33):
in the first day whose name is Scott Heartless. This
is one one program, and he comes and he talks
about how great it is that the park next door is.
He thinks we should bulldoze the whole park and build
a parking lot. It's a great idea, and he's a
just a big villain that everyone hates. And then they're like,
we need to convince this guy, like how we can
write persuasive essays. It's like, you give it a story,
(31:55):
you give it a character, and kids actually remember it
in multiple parts of their brain, and it's connected to
their tangible, everyday lives, and they're far more likely to
trigger those memories um in what they're doing, as opposed
to you're just saying like, don't do this, they'll just
remember that anger. So lying to kids is good. That's
(32:16):
what you took from that. Yeah, I think that speaks
to what we have gotten. We've been better at recently
of that, like not barguing, barguing, barguing is when you
argue and bargain, not barguing with your kids and just
saying what you mean and not being angry about it,
and then not responding because you're not giving them anything
(32:40):
to latch onto, and they get tired of it and
they move away. So put on a play. Parents out there,
just put on a musical for your kids. The love It,
the Lights, the Pizza, Papa Papa, the World's started. Attenrum
(33:06):
was my feelings. What do you say? I don't know that.
I was doing the musical of their of kids feelings.
All right. So how are those Gin and Tonics, don Gintos,
those old fashions treating you now that now that it's
getting later, it's getting late. Well, they're just making me
tired like alcohol always does. Oh that's fascinating. Hot take
(33:30):
Hot take a lot of sugar alcohol. You put it
in a barrel in its machine. It's just mixed up better,
you know. Um. Yeah. This next segment is called would
you Knows? It's where we discuss a parenting hypothetical. Beth,
(33:52):
are you ready for this? This comes to us from
Sarah and her daughter Elizabeth, who were recently read some
listener mail from Elizabeth gave us the advice about staggering bedtime, um,
which we advice we have not taken yet because bedtime
(34:13):
has been going well. But if things changed, do you
notice Maven is overtired at bedtime? But there's just really
not much I can do about it, Like unless I'm
like Brand, you watch TV over here, I'm putting into
but there's no way she's going to agree to that. Well,
we could, it could work, but it's going to There
will be three really terrible nights the first three friends.
(34:36):
I just think she hates bedtime so much right now,
and like the only thing she is okay with is
the performance of the routine with Brynn there, like she
she's following his lead. We're reading books tonight and Brynn
is reading and Maven is identifying letters. So I had
her tell me what the first letter was of every
word on the page, and then Brand got to read
(34:59):
all the words and they really liked that. It was good,
But it took five minutes to read half a book.
That's how it's been lately. I got this new book
with all these ocean animals, and it's like you just
have to keep naming things. What's what's this, what's this
really fascinating storytelling? Anyway? The hypothetically you have from our listener,
(35:20):
Hello Beth and Peter, thank you for reading our idea
on bedtime. Elizabeth and I were thrilled it made our day.
We wish you luck in the continuing adventures. At bedtime,
Elizabeth wanted to send you a parenting hypothetical. This is
the daughter, This is a child listening to this adults show.
(35:41):
She definitely did not want to do a time travel question.
Thank you, Elizabeth. We're sort of done with those for now,
so we worked on this, developing this situation for you.
The idea is, Elizabeth. I just helped with some of
the details and hopes that it fulfills your needs for scenarios,
but ethics here it goes. Suddenly one day you all
(36:05):
wake up and you are in a Pokemon world. You
are told that Brendon Maven have become Pokemon and you
will be their trainers. Of the thirteen plus Pokemon jims,
you need to go to eight of them and win
Jim badges from each one in order to be transported
(36:26):
home to your normal non Pokemon lives. You receive a
Poke Poke Dex, which I assume is an index a
Pokemon when you arrived that tells you all the pokemon
and their attacks. You are told to choose which Pokemon
Brendon Maven will be. Once you decide, you cannot change
which Pokemon they are, but you can trade which of
(36:49):
you is training which one? What Pokemon do you choose?
We continue to enjoy the podcast, looking forward to a
new episode each week. Thank you and keep up the
great work. Best sarannalysm with Beth, did you follow any
of that? I tried really hard and no, um, I don't.
The thing is, I don't care about this type of
(37:11):
thing and it's really hard for me. Oh, we know
we've listened to the show before. But the thing is
she was setting up a lot of information about the
scenario and then her main question was just which Pokemon
would you choose to be? Which I don't know any Pokemon.
I will talk you through this. I know very little. Well.
All I know is our son has a new pair
(37:32):
of pajamas that I let him buy a target that
have Pokemon on them because he really liked the look
of it. And then he started watching the show, which
I have not watched with him. He's watched one episode,
but he kind of knows that they make funny noises
that are similar to their names. That's what I've grasped from,
you know. But there's another one that's like glargal or
(37:56):
something yea, or like Charlema. All right, let's start here.
Explain to me, Beth as you understand it the rules
of Pokemon. Oh, I think I actually do know this. Okay.
So there's like a main character kid who's like like, uh,
(38:18):
he's basically like a Pokemon pimp or something, and he
has like a ball with all the Pokemons he owns
because he tries to fight them against other dudes Pokemon's
like he's a Pokemon trainer. It's like pitople fighting and so,
but he has to go try to capture Pokemon so
that he owns them, and then he very problematic. Yes, um,
(38:44):
but in the one episode I listened to the background
as I was on my computer, the whole episode was
about these evil trainers that don't treat their Pokemon with respect. Yeah,
I mean, it's still not a system. I would want
my son to start mapping his idea of the world.
All these are sentient creatures, it seems, okay, So yes,
(39:06):
they fight. They train, and it's like, okay that we
make them fight. They're just little cute idiots. We're not
here to judge Pokemon, but we have. Um so, okay,
so you know, people who made Pokemon are doing just fine.
Oh the people are doing just fine. Thank you. Anyway,
(39:28):
So who would you fight? Do you have an answer
to this? I would do like the main guy or whatever. Okay, Pikachu. Okay,
I was gonna I don't expect you to know many Pokemon.
I don't, but I was gonna think of crazy if
you didn't know Pikachu. I know. Okay, can you name
any other Pokemon I already said, like Glargal besides Charlemagne,
(39:50):
Glargal and Pikachu, which are the obvious choice, Monotone, Gloribal, oh,
fitbit um Trudy. I can name a few more, mostly
dazzless Bulbasore, Charmander. That's what I said. Um uh sid
(40:21):
duck Duck. Yeah, he's a cybernetic duck. I don't know.
I don't know what he looks like. I just know
that name. Uh and Mew and Mew two Mew two
yeah they're cats mew and then there's a second one
Mew two number two. I don't think so, I don't know. Boy,
(40:43):
how do I know this? I've well, I know so
much beautiful Japanese culture getting lost in translation. I would
have Bryn be Mew two because, as I understand it,
he's the most powerful Pokemon and can may defeat whole
armies with his brain powers. How do you know that?
(41:04):
Because I heard Pat May talking about it? And do
you have the Pokemon app on your phone? Have you
ever had the Pokemon app on your phone? Answer? Honestly,
I have not. I don't play games on my phone
because they make me sad and angry because I can't
stop playing them. I forgot. This is like a big
(41:25):
contentious issue we had years ago where games, games and
other things with your phone. I think we're making you crazy. Yeah,
I quit them for you well, from my mental health
in our relationship. Yeah, I don't remember if that. Like,
(41:45):
I don't think games was a singular issue for me,
but it was a symptom of a lack of attention.
It was a real Um you were acting as though
you were in a game all the time, and your
decisions were very impulsive. I kept throwing poke balls at strangers. Um,
and I would try to run up walls and swing on.
(42:06):
So you're only allowed to throw pookey balls at me.
Your mind, your pokey balls blocked at me. Sorry that
got graphic. Yeah, this was a pre me too error.
So we're throwing pokey balls everywhere, but you understand. Um um,
so I would have Brand be mew two because I
believe he's the most powerful, in which case no other
(42:28):
choice matters, because I could defeat everybody. And maybe i'd
have may even be side Duck because that's a real
cute sounding. Okay, well you've done your research and you win.
That was that is literally the full extent of my
Pokemon knowledge. That hit right. If there's any Pokey fans listening,
(42:50):
I apologize. I thought you could say, don't write in
well to you right in, because there won't be many
listening unless there's parents younger than us, probably maybe grew
up with it. Anything that you have to say to
me on this subject will make me laugh, So feel
free to write it, Elizabeth. I'd like to apologize for
(43:15):
so you know what's gonna happen. Someone's going to write
it and they're going to be like, actually, um, when
the Pokemon game was installed in the iPhones that actually
became a real like boon for child predators. And this
is a serious issue. And uh no, this is Pokemon
go is when all those people were walking and walking
and across the highway staring at their phones trying to
(43:37):
find poke balls. Yeah, so if you have an email
like that, we get it. The world is not a
great place. Um so don't we already know the world.
We already know. Uh, let me make sure I answer
the question. You're told to choose Pokemon will be yeah,
they cannot change. Yeah, mew two inside, please write in
(44:01):
Elizabeth and tell me what Si Duck does because it
sounds cute. And then she probably just enslaves tinier Pokemon
or something. It's a it's the Pokemon that has its
own smaller community of poke balls that that Sid Duck enslaves.
(44:25):
Would you knows? This next segment is called Listeners want
to Knows. It's where you, guys send us your questions
and comments. Here we go. This comes to us from Jewels.
(44:45):
She writes, Hi, guys, I love the show. I hope
this message finds you cozy and well we are both.
My questions questions are what kind of diet does your
family have on an average day. What are your thoughts
on it in relation to behavior, etcetera, etcetera. I'm from
a very quote unquote woo woo town where many people
(45:07):
believe in magic, tarot, etcetera, and the home of farming
slash ultra local food movement has arrived with a bang.
One of the interesting beliefs I've come across is the
quote packaged goods are poisoning our minds and bodies mindset.
We have all heard about sugar highs, but do you
believe all the claims about corn syrup dies, many of
(45:30):
which are illegal in Europe, intentionally addictive additives or hormones,
and meat. Just curious about your thoughts. While I do
definitely try to feed my family mostly natural vegan foods,
my nine year olds taste can complicate things a bit. Anyway.
Show is one of my self care rechards rituals. I
always throw it on when it feels stressful to be
(45:52):
a POC parent in a white college town. Y'all are
the best. Thanks considering jewels, what do we think you know?
What's funny? Okay? So, as we've um discussed with much
contention on the podcast. I am like a woo woo person,
but the idea of living in a woo woo town
(46:13):
I think is like hell on earth to me. I
don't know, you have the appropriate amount of woo woo
in you and surrounding you for your comfort. There's just
a weird packaging of woo woo with certain people who
are like it's fiercest advocates, where they're like they're trying
to one up each other, and I think this kind
(46:35):
of like jockeying to have like the most organic food
is one of the things that happens. But like I mean,
I'm into like a locally sourced organic food, Like I
think that's great, But there is like a strictness to
anything like this that I find off putting, uh, as
(46:55):
someone who's been partying a lot of like women's media
and like absolute tis m about what we're supposed to do.
Like I just that that that thing always gets under
my skin when people are like you absolutely must never
do this ever. And I feel that way about like
just eating meat or whatever garbage junk food, Like I
(47:16):
think there's a time and a place for junk food
and we can all sprinkle it through our lives, like
as long as like if that's the bulk of your diet, yeah,
like that's going to cause some problems. But I think
we can all go a little easier on ourselves with
like certain issues like this that we're not like just
sort of screeching to the choir, you know, like yeah,
(47:38):
I'm you know in general, Yeah, I don't want to
have yeah corn syrup and all that stuff and everything
I eat. But I'm also not the one where I'm
like we're being poisoned. It's personally, it's about moderation and
I'm going to enjoy some crap things and then I'm
going to make sure that I'm I'm most of the
(48:01):
week cooking fresh. Like Here's what I think is like
really backwards about a lot of our culture, and especially
like messaging it targeted to women, is that it's so
focused on what we shouldn't do and like about how
we could get things wrong, when if it would just
shift the focus to what we should do, like which
is get fresh fruits and vegetables and things like if
(48:24):
you were making sure you're getting a decent amount of
things those things in your diet, you wouldn't be craving
as much garbage, you know what I mean, Like, that's
just your body wouldn't want like that. And I mean,
obviously there's like a million other related issues such as food,
desserts and stuff we're not getting into. So I'm not
trying to shame anyone for like not being great at this.
There's a lot of other factors. But um, anyway, I
(48:47):
just think it's just like it's fine to get people
excited about fresh food. Yeah, it's just when it's just
the judgment and it's the it's the self righteous attitude,
uh that that some people. There's plenty of people I
know that have very strict diets and they have their
own beliefs and they don't bother you with it. They'll
(49:08):
talk about it if you ask them, but they're not
there to judge you saying this is what you have
to do because I figured out that's like anything you
figure out, that's I mean, that's the whole deal of parents.
I think this is a whole like this is a
huge issue in politics and a million million other things
where people get so focused on how they can like
one up other people and be like, I'm actually more
liberal than you. I know more about this than you
(49:29):
blah blah blah. But like the people who are spending
all their time doing that are not doing the things
in their day to day lives to give back to
their community and do all the things they claim they
stand for. You know what I mean, if you're going
out there like looking to tell someone they're not doing
it as good as you. Yeah, well it's and it's
human nature too, you know. And I think you see
(49:52):
this in parenting, where you're struggling as a parent and
then you figure something out that like works or makes
sense for you, and that becomes part of your identity
where you're like, oh, I figured it out. I feel good,
I feel safe. And then when people have a different
point of view, the selfish, like impulsive, emotional part of
(50:13):
your brain says, well, if you think something different than me,
then you're saying that I'm wrong and you're challenging my identity.
So I must shut your thing down and you must
be wrong so that I can continue to be right.
And that's not what's happening. You have your deal. People
have their deals. Well, a lot of these people are
on the side of like important issues, and I understand
where their passion comes from. Is just sort of like
(50:34):
there's a way to bring things up that invites people
to care about them versus telling them they don't get
it and that they're bad. You know what we're telling
don't yell at them and tell them a story, put
on a play. I mean, this is what we need
to learn how to do with our kids. I'm I mean,
I'm sort of joking. You know you your entire careers
built around satire, which makes tough messages. I'm infinitely more digestible.
(51:00):
By making in an absurd story, people don't feel threatened
and they can actually think about the message, whereas if
you're just angrily being like, don't do this, people get
defensive and they don't absorb the information as well. Did
I explain satire right? I mean, there's so much more
to it. It's the real art. For if you'd like
(51:21):
to take a reductress sat a reductresses satire writing, glad
got a reductress dot com. We've got some courses you
can take online. Do do we get any of that money? Well?
See ye checks? Well, thank you very much, jewels. Well,
(51:42):
the question is what do we do? What do we eat?
What we eat? As we do? Like, okay, I would say, yeah,
I've um personally been doing way better in terms of
preparing meals and just going and I do. I go
into all of the produce and the meats that I
(52:04):
buy and look and say, exactly what's in this? Are
there any chemicals? No? I don't care. Should I may
be fine, but I've only got one life to live,
and my parents are still alive and they all this
crap growing up, and then you know, I don't think
there's many chemicals when your parents were kids. But okay,
that's when it started. I think we shop at a
grocery store that I think a lot of the options
(52:25):
are like kind of leaning organic, so you tend to
like at least accidentally buy I do accidentally buy a
lot of organic like chemical. I was like, this is expensive. Yeah,
I think that's good. Like to try not to get
chemicals in your body. I think it's more important than
like to count calories. I disagree, Um, I think sugar
(52:47):
is bad for us. Like anyway, I don't worry about
if I'm I find that if I have a low calorie,
uh die it and I'm not having too much salt
blah blah blah, if I'm losing weight and exercising. I
naturally start eating the food that doesn't have all the
(53:08):
ship in it. There is there a better way to
do it? Yes? Maybe we will. My watch alarm just
went off and I don't know what for time to
master bait. You caught me. This has been another episode
(53:31):
of We Knows Parenting. Gotta Plug It live show coming
up April in Brooklyn. We have Chuck Bryant from movie
Crush and stuff. You should know. We got Abby crutch Field.
We've got o Fia Eisenberg from Asking NPRS asked me another.
You can get tickets. Go to the website we Knows
Parenting dot com, click on that live appearances link and
(53:53):
you can get tickets through there. Who I'm excited for
that bath? You're excited? I Am? Email us at we
Knows we Knows Pod at gmail dot com. Your questions, stories, advice,
et cetera. Social media's best What do we got? Put
us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram at we Knows Pod If
(54:15):
you like us with admitted questions Here story gives some
advice to just an impossible parenting hypothetical For the wideo segment,
you can email us we knows pot at gmail dot
com or leave a voicemail at three four seven three
eight four seven three nine six. Yeah. Yeah, we double
plugged the email address. That's fine, that's fine, and you're
all fine. Listeners, have a wonderful night. Good right, good night,
We Knows Parenting News
Hosts And Creators
Beth Newell
Peter McNerney
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