October 29, 2019 • 52 mins
Halloween festivities continue as the family heads cross county to the Great Jack-o-Lantern Blaze, Peter and Beth try to think of books about boys doing emotional labor and girls being ass holes, and Peter stands firm on his views of peanut butter.
Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Here we go again. We're rolling. We know parenting is back.
You thought it wouldn't be, but it is. Yeah. Everyone
thought this podcast was just going to end abruptly after
last week, but it didn't. Peter McNerney here, Beth Newell
here reporting, reporting live from parenthood. Um, hey, are you
(00:37):
new to the podcast? If you are, um, that's who
we are. We are parents, we are married, we have children.
We've stopped explaining this a long time ago. But for
those of you who, maybe for those of you just
joining us us at the part of the podcast where
we ramble into a vague intro of our parenting podcast,
we have a five year old named Bryns Nuts this week,
(01:03):
and Maven is three, and she's a goof. Maven's Maven's
embracing her goof hood this week. She's a give She's
always been a goof, yeah, but she's she's a self
aware goof. So there's a lot of silly dances. There's
a lot of farts, there's a lot of look at me?
(01:26):
Is that funny? It's costume season as well as scorpio season.
Well they go hand in hand. Everyone's really in a mood.
Did you notice what's on this chair over here. What
is it permanent marker? What? Maven has tucked in several
(01:49):
of her stuffed animals under her blanket. She's really into
taking care of things and putting them to bed. This
is really new for her to play with dolls in
a in like an affectionate girly way. Yeah, for sure. Um,
it seems on schedule she's going to get a baby
(02:10):
cousin and she's going to be like, I'm the mom.
I mean, yeah, she's as We've talked about this a
million times, but you know, we didn't. We didn't particularly
give her girly stuff. She found it, and she found pink,
and it's her identity. She seeked it out. But she
hasn't really ever been that into the like stereotypical like
(02:36):
mom toys like baby dolls and kitchen sets. Like she's
not like obsessed with like it's performing womanhood. Oh that's true.
She means she's obsessed with unicorns and pink and princesses.
But that's true. So the baby thing is new. The
baby thing is new, but she's she's actually more she
(02:57):
has been doing that with animals for a while, like
stuffed animals. She'll like I'm the doctor. She did. She
gave me a very convincing portrayal of a doctor when
she was playing with her docmic Stephen's veterinarian set and
with the animals, and she would take like the blood
pressure thing and like put it on very carefully, and
she was like giving me a checkup. And she was
(03:19):
just so calm and casual, casual about it in a
way where I was like, this is exactly how a
nurse is in the room. She was just like and
I just have to tap this on the side of
your face and like, but it was like not um,
real doctor check up stuff she was doing. But it
all felt very like she plays for herself and Bryn
(03:43):
plays to the room. Yeah, boy, Bryn has He's a
just peak argument. Everything is an argument. He's been a
little bit of a nightmare this week. I'm like, well,
I was like, well, they the bathroom in your classroom, right,
He's like, no, there's no bathroom in my classroom. I'm like, well,
(04:06):
I've been there, I've seen it. And he goes, your
teacher said that there was a bathroom in the classroom. Um,
she was kidding, daddy, there's no bathroom in the classroom.
School is so boring. He's been cranky, He's been saying
school is boring. I was telling a friends they were
(04:26):
like someone was talking about how mean their kid is
to them, which is like everyone says that, but like
when kids are like really mean, the things they find
to say are like so cutting and burned with. I
was laughing about it because I was like, where did
you come up with this? But like yesterday I was
trying to get him to brush his teeth or something,
and he was like, you're a bad mommy. He's like
(04:48):
you're like he basically was like you're a bad mother,
like and it was like, I cannot believe you came
up with that. Like, I mean, it's a pretty simple
thing to say. I know, I know, but it just
like feels so cut singing. This is my greatest fear.
When I was hanging on my friend in l A
a couple of weeks ago, her daughter, who's Maven's age,
(05:09):
turned to her like in the middle of playing, it
was just like, mommy, I can't stop. And then she
like continued she like went on and like it did
something else. We were like, whoa, that was like chilling,
Like she just like out of nowhere. It was connected
to nothing. She was just thinking about time and growing.
(05:30):
I can't stop, mommy, so I should continue goodbye. Um
so mayven. So I tell you this a couple of
nights ago, I don't know. We're getting ready for bed
and Maven comes running in. I'm getting I'm pulling out
some jammies because they're obviously not taking the initiative. And
(05:54):
Maven comes running into the room completely naked. She was daddy, daddy,
and she leans to own and just opens up, uh
everything down there and goes, what's this bump? And I
had to, without laughing a straight face, day, um, that's
your clatoris And she went what and laughed at me
(06:19):
and shook her head and walked out of the room.
I'm impressed that you dealt with it so calmly. I
was like, well, I don't. I don't want. I don't
want to treat this like it's a funny thing, because
you don't want to give any way to the moment
where they're like, is it funny if I show off
my genitals to the room, Like you don't want to
(06:40):
create any sort of any reward. I'm going to give
you a very clinical I didn't say it serious. I
didn't say it goofy. I just said it, and she
could feel that there was something like naughty about it.
She's very into like talking about her but lately, oh
(07:00):
my god, have you seen her? But because she's happy
to show it to you and any other part of her.
Um okay, So my funniest Maven moment of the weekend
it was she had been in the other room playing
with the scissors and she walked into the kitchen and goes, um,
my hair looks a little bit cutted, and of course
(07:23):
she had cut her bangs. Luckily she only cut like
the tiniest piece of her bangs. For clarity, these are
like the safety scissors, Yeah, yeah, they're Yeah. She had
been cutting paper with like like kids scissors, and she's
actually very careful with that sort of thing. So I
but I was like, I cannot leave these out now
because she's they're they're both just like fiends, like you
(07:45):
never know what the pens anymore. They see what they
did at antique table. The more I tell them about
how permanent markers are not for them, the more they
crave permanent markers every second of the day. I needed
to sharp to write my name on this thin piece
of paper. On top of this, we're gonna need to
(08:06):
get like a lockbox or something for literally everything we own. Um,
but just oh, Beth, we could put them in a
lock box. I mean, she's more practical. Yeah. Oh. So
then I was like, I was like, oh, may then don't.
You're not supposed to. Kids are not supposed to cut
their hair. And I hadn't even seen the damage, and
I was just like, you can't do that, and she
(08:28):
burst into tears so passionately. She had been really tired,
and I was just like, oh my god. I was like,
it's okay. I'd like comfort her. She was so she
felt so guilty. I do think she was just I
think there's a part of her that she was like,
my beautiful hair, what have I done? I had well?
(08:52):
And then because she also her face was covered in chocolate,
like inexplicably, like she was like, no, I don't know
you like that. There's that chocolate hummus from Trader Joe's around. Yeah.
That that that makes me nervous. I can't wrap my
brain around kee and chocolate chickpeas. It's like they're eating beans.
That's good for them chocolate. Yeah I didn't try it
(09:15):
beans um. But anyway, so she was so upset and
then I calmed her down and yeah, here we are, here,
we are. Um. We went to a big event this weekend.
Should we talk about it? A very big event, big deal.
(09:39):
Halloween is this Thursday. Yeah, okay. So for those of
you who don't live in Westchester County, New York, there
is something called the Great Jack o' Lantern Blaze, sometimes
called just the Pumpkin Plaze, sometimes called the Pumpkin Place.
If you're Brandon, you want to correct your daddy when
daddy says jack'lina bla. But what you need to know
(10:02):
is that when it comes to Westchester, this is like
the event of the year, Like this is the bless
a scene for you. There's nothing more important to west
Chester in If you're a mom, a dad, a kid
in Westchester, a living, breathing human being, you're going to
be seen at the Blue Blaze. So the Blaze is
(10:24):
where they carve I think it's like over a thousands.
Their claim to famous that these are all hand carved pumpkins,
which means they're not all living pumpkins. Some of them
are hand carved like pumpkins something I mean, don't get
us wrong. There's a tremendous number of very real pumpkins. Yeah,
(10:45):
it's impressive. And they have you know, they have different
gimmicky pumpkins, dinosaur podkas. I just want to pause right
here and admit that so far how we've described it
doesn't sound cool. But just wait if you were to
behold the speck to gill of pump pumpkins and mass
lit before you through a child's eyes who's witnessing them
(11:07):
in the dark, a child who never stays up at night.
And we're also talking about tremendous lighting design up into
the trees, tremendous, tremendous they have. So this is in
Croton on Hudson, which is near Sleepy Hollow. So it's
like the home of the Headless Horsemen basically was born.
And so they have a path of pumpkins that leads
(11:29):
deep into the woods where you just look spookily down
this creepy path. It's very it's very autumnal. It is
aggressively autumn. It's also set on a historical site where
I do think a ghost tried to get into my
body at one point of course, but it's the historical buildings.
(11:50):
It's very spooky. So anyway, these pumpkins. They build a
giant replica of the Brooklyn Bridge out of pumpkins. They
make a statue liber out of pumpkin. They have big
creepy Jack in the box made out of pumpkins, and
then a giant scary jack lantern pops out of it
and scares our kids. They have every zodiac sign fully
(12:13):
created in pumpkins. Um they have, so I think we've
paid it a picture for you of how amazing it is.
And every section has a pumpkin pun based name. But
I gotta say my greatest achievement of the weekend was
that they said the Pumpkin Bridge for the Brooklyn Bridge,
(12:34):
and I was like, that's the lamest. They couldn't have
gone with the gored Washington Bridge for the pumpkin z bridge.
No hold on, we're gonna let everybody applaud from my
joke because they're they're all falling over in their seats
for the gorge Washington Bridge. Okay, I was I was
(12:59):
really a really trying to hire to think of a
good pumpkin punt for a bridge, and when I came
out with that one. I was like, we can go
home now. I feel good. We didn't. I just need
to stop the podcast to underline that joke. Um, and
now we went with your sister and her friend and
it was delightful. It was great. We really so we
(13:22):
went to a restaurant beforehand where our kids were insane
and literally trying to like throw their glasses around on
the table. Were you proud of me? So we gave
them phones, which is like a big thing. We don't
do it, but you know what, that's why we don't
give them phones, so that when we have to it
(13:42):
really works. Well. This is really like underlying my theory
that most of them when they're being horrible, they're like
starving and tired, like they're just because we were on
the way to dinner and they were so fine in
the car and then as soon as we sat down
and I had snacks in the car ready to get
of them, but they didn't want them. But it was
like it was something about the second we sat down,
(14:03):
they just snapped into like rage starving monsters and they
were like, let's try to throw our glasses around on
the table. This is just what's so, you know, I
picked them up most days, and when we picked them
up from after school, you know, it's you know, five o'clock,
(14:26):
it's the worst hour. It's what they're the most upset.
They're tired, they're hungry, and so it's every day we're
learning to hate each other. Well, I think if we
had better work life balance, we could pick them up
at like make a trillion dollars and then we'll do
it and you'll be a house husband. Yes, I would
(14:49):
love that. We've talked about this before. I'm I'm halfway there.
Just just make you want to be like maybe part
time husband, like part time a dad. No, I don't
want to be a full house husband. I have too
many things to do. But maybe just for a few months,
(15:10):
I'd like to sexy role play. Oh yeah, that I
will do. Hey, honey, sorry, I gotta run out and
get some new wipes. There's like a movie version of
this where we you lose a job and you're like,
you know what, I'm just gonna be a house husband
and I'm like, you know what, go for it, and
(15:32):
it's like smooth sailing for like five weeks, and then
you just crash and you're like, I get this is
called Mr Mom and made this movie six it's my guest.
I've never seen it. Um anyway, boy, our pumpkins are ablaze?
(15:56):
Can I say it's something? The best thing I've learned
from the pumpkin Blaze, the best thing the Jack Lanner
blaze is don't cut the top of your pumpkin. You
know Pelee always cut the top out from the blaze. Yeah,
because I just realized none of them have holes on
the top. Everyone, all of them there they cut a
(16:19):
hole in the bottom. Uh, And so I was like,
that's a good idea. We cut the bottom out, scooped
it out, and then the little piece that it creates,
I dug a little circle into it. That's a perfect
size for the little tea uh candles, tea can what
is it called? They called tea candles? Tea light? Do
(16:41):
you light um? And then that fits right in there.
Then you light that and then you just put the
jack Lanner on top of it so you don't have
to light it and then stick your hand down and
burn your hand. Have I talked on the podcast about
my neighbor across the street growing up on how obsessed
she was with Halloween. No, Um, I had a neighbor
(17:01):
cross the street who was when I was a kid.
She was probably like fifty something, which seemed very old,
but she, you know, she wasn't um and she was
obsessed with Halloween and she was a witch every year,
and she would decorate her whole front yard with like
strobe lights and like black lights, and she had like
a witch over a cauldron with like steam coming out
(17:25):
of it. And she's great and like and she'd like
makes something new every year and have grave stones and
like hands coming out and like. So I would go
over while she was setting up and I'd like check
it out, and I was like, I'm sure. I thought
I was like very mature, and I'd be like, oh, yeah,
what are you doing this year? Like you know, like hey,
calf looking good this year? And you know, I love crafts,
(17:49):
so I was always just like, oh, yeah, yeah, you
should probably do it that way. Like it it's like
very invested. And I so I now still feel like
Halloween is one of the few holidays where I'm like,
I understand really going all out for this holiday. Oh
my gosh, should we go all out? This? It makes
me wish I had a house because my friend was
(18:10):
buying like a fall wreath, and I was like, there's
nothing about our apartment that is worth decorating for the public,
do you know? I mean, oh yeah, you know what.
The idea of having a house on Halloween made me
more excited than any other time you've you've suggested or
put the picture in my head of us if I
had a house for Halloween, it would be definitely like
(18:32):
cobwebs and it's in my house. But first we have
to redo our bathroom. Oh oh yeah, that is the
big news. Should we make a segment of a segment.
We'll be right back with renovation news. And now it's
(18:59):
time for we knows, we knows Reyna's I was gonna say,
we knows how expensive it is to fix the leak
in your shower when it expands into a full bathroom renovation.
I liked my title, bettering um, your title has a
(19:21):
better chance of being reused than mine. So we've decided,
for various reasons, including the fact that everything in our
bathroom is falling apart, our hand has been forced, we've
decided to renovate our bathroom in our apartment. In our
apartment which only has one bathroom. So so when we
(19:41):
moved in the shower was the least um not disgusting.
Now it looked kind of gross, the least not discussing
that's double negative, right, is the grossest are when we
moved in, our shower had like black grow like moldy
(20:04):
grow that it. It appeared to be uncleanable, but has
since slowly worn away through three five years of cleaning. Yes,
but the window sill, the corner of it was rotted away,
just soft so the window sills running away. And then
(20:24):
there was a a soap holder, a soap dish built
into the tile which at some point got ripped off
the wall of you put your foot on it, shaping
your legs. Is that true? I don't remember. That's what
you told me. Blame it on me, not your fault.
It was not installed securely, so at one point I
(20:47):
pulled the entire windows still out, um, and I cut
out the infected piece and I was like, well, here's
a temporary solution. And I pumped this thing full of
hawk and sealed it all up as best as a
YouTube video could teach me. And you know what, I
(21:08):
did a pretty good job. Um. But I did a
job that lasted maybe for two months, before it started,
the paint started chipping, and it's yeah, so are that's
been in various stages of decay, and then our toilets
started running weird. Fixed that that is fixed. That is fixed,
(21:31):
at least temporarily. We have another weird temporary fix going on. Oh,
I got the perfect length on that chain. Finally, I
don't know that's how that's been messing up. I stand
by my toilet um. But downstairs neighbors that started leaking.
We got a call from the super But that part
of that problem is that if you if our blinds
(21:52):
are not closed in our shower, then water gets through
the window somehow. Yeah, it weeks out to the wall
to through the brick wall on the outside of the build.
And I don't even think our bathroom renovation budget includes
a new window. That's one of the questions that is
yet to be at The window is not the problem.
(22:12):
It's the window still and I've talked to him specifically
about it. We're getting a stone window skill. I think
that's why it was leaking them because the days that
our neighbor complained the blinds were up. We'll get into it.
I've I've been in there the whole thing is full
of false the whole thing is okay. Well anyway, I
(22:32):
hope everyone is who's listening is riveted by this David
description are decaying bathroom. But it was one of those things.
We brought it in in a guy and he was like,
I could patch this hole this much money, but the
whole wall is sort of crappy, so I can't promise
that I won't be back. And he's like, we could
do the shower, and of course we could do the
(22:55):
whole thing. And at the time I was like, just
give me a quote for the whole and get maybe
give me a hold for the shower, and then later
and now I was like, we're not going to do
half a bathroom. No you can't, not with the tile
covering like the whole bathroom. So we got it a
second guy who never emailed us back, which made it
(23:15):
easy to decide, I'm going to the first guy. I
think listeners should write in and tell us how to
redo our bathroom. Please give us tips, because I feel
sort of like I don't want to spend a ton
of money on this, but I also want to like
it too, not be a crappy thing. I have to
live with forever. We we did this in our old place,
(23:39):
and you designed it and you did an incredible job,
I know, but what in retrospect, like our contractor was
shitty and the materials could have been better, and like,
there's a lot of things that I would do differently.
I think it was only the contractor. It was like
at least contractor, But there was also like like howel
(24:00):
rods and stuff I bought where I was like, oh
my god, why did I assume that this fancy, expensive
restoration hardware stuff would be good because it's not restoration
or hardware is ship. It's not all ship. But like
it's that couch that we bought that deteriorated so quickly,
not always solid, and at lamp that we bought fell
(24:21):
over and just snapped in that couch's defense, like we
really gave it beating. Are those life fixtures from restoration
hardware on the wall? No, those are from pottery Barn.
I think we have very exquisite diversities. We run the
gamut from pottery Barn all the way to restoration hardware. Yeah,
(24:44):
we talked about our Joybird couch. Still great, Still great.
If you haven't listened to our Joybird episode. I don't
remember if it's good, but we talked about joy Bird.
That's where our couches from. I love it anyway. If
you're listening and you want to give us free stuff,
where always open to it. Really, this segment is called
do you knows how to give us? Give us? Um?
(25:09):
Are you the owner of a warehouse full of subway tiles? Now?
But okay, here's the questions that have yet to be
answered that I am just dreading having to research. Is like,
we have a tiny bathroom. The current sink is like
not even a pedestal, it's just connected to the wall
with a basin, so there's no cabinet or anything there.
(25:30):
I think the responsible thing to do is always to
add in like a cabinet under the sink so you
can throw like storage is good the only spot in
bathroom where there is space, right. But the research of
finding vanity that's small enough to fitness space like that
is like incredibly annoying. And then when you try to
(25:50):
figure out if something's made of solid wood or like
cardboard paper, they'll never give you the details, and you're
like looking online, you know what I mean, And then
you're like, oh, I have to run around to like
ten stores this weekend to see if this thing I'm
looking at is like a piece of garbage. Anyway, these
are the things that I think about when I anticipate
(26:11):
this very fun renovation. I want to help, but you
know what, and I will on the non design things.
I'll give you opinions, but you're better at it and
you're more particular. So if you want to send me places,
send me places. I just don't even really know where
(26:32):
to start at this point, because I'm like, what do
I even want this bathroom to look like? You know
what I mean? I want like a vision, and I
don't want to try to do the same bathroom we
did last time. Well it was a really good bathroom.
I mean you could sort of do it like that.
It was fun, but like you should that color, take
that wallpaper out of there? Is this entertainment here us
(26:56):
plan our renovation. Who who's has renovation night? Our stories?
Can you believe? I do want to hear? I feel
this is what it feels like. The renovation feels like
a trap, like for our marriage, Like it's just you
know it's going to be stressful. Yeah, well we've already
thought about it, Um, yeah, and we will continue. Um.
(27:21):
I was really I really thought I was out of
the out of the weeds. But with what When I
like passing the project onto you, I was like, all right,
this went well. That was a little hasty, but it's fine. Yeah, um,
here we are here, We are here, we are now
(27:41):
should we just redo the whole place? What else would
you red doing here? Though? Like all the floors, all
the walls, all the things. Knock that wall down, open
it up, you know, not more money than we have.
Knocking down walls is overrated. There's nothing Like we could
redo our kitchen, but it wouldn't like vastly increase the value.
(28:04):
Like we we would do better by just stripping all
the wallpaper in our kitchen and then like painting. You know,
but who's going to do that? Us? Never because we
could do wallpaper. I was gonna say, we can't afford
to do anything except maybe barely this bathroom. But anyway,
(28:27):
are you a contractor? Do you want to do it
for free? And you're great in our designer We probably
your location based in this podcast. You want to move
to Westchester to fix our bathroom? If you say yes, uh,
there's probably something wrong with you? Are you h an
independent small business owner who stands very little to gain
(28:48):
by giving us free stuff. I'll tell you what. You
will get a ton of free publicity to a very
specific target of demographics. Here. You know what, there's probably
a lot of people listening to this. They could redo
a bathroom or already have. Are you restoration hardware and
(29:10):
you want to make amends for the past. We don't
want to hear it because what you did was unforgivable.
If your joy bird enjoy Bird does bathrooms. What I
want to hear from listeners is like dream scenario. Who
should we be trying to get to sponsor this? Like Ikia?
Who tell us our dream sponsor? Ikia, Well, you know,
(29:33):
dream big if you want to. I really, here's what
here's how you can tell I'm getting old? Is like really,
more than anything. All I can think about is I
want the materials to be solid and not break in
two minutes. You know what I mean? That's all. As
I started looking around you and you were like, we
should get a heavier door for the bathroom, I was like, yeah,
(29:56):
that would be good. And then I started looking at
all of our doors and I'm like ship now I
hate all our doors. Well, I hate our doors, but
I've convinced myself to be okay with them because our
kids haven't pinched their fingers in heavy doors. But I'm
really invested in our doors now that it took me
(30:16):
a year and a half to replace all the door
knobs I just hate because they're so like, not at
all sound proof. So you just always feel like you're
always in close physical proximity to everyone in the apartment.
And that's why I go as far away from you
as possible for your own kid. This next segment is
(30:46):
called what is it called you pointed at me? What
is it called you putting on me to start talking?
After I started talking? This next segment is called Listeners
want to Know? Is that's where we take questions and
come ones from you guys. I don't think I did,
but that's fine, all right. Oh yeah, we got a voicemail,
(31:07):
my darling. You really listen to it. Get thrown at me.
Here it comes. Hey, Beth and Peter, this is the
least from Baltimore. I love the podcast. Have a question
for you. We have a three year old boy and
a one year old girl. I'm looking for recommendations for
books where boys do emotional labor and or girls get
(31:29):
to be assholes. We have an older boy and a
younger girl. I'm a stay at home mom, so we've
got like a real heteronormative situation here. And for example,
the little engine that could, the mail trains all get
to say no, I'm too busy or I'm too old,
I can't help out the broken down train. But then
(31:49):
the female train comes along and it's the hero. It's
great that she's the hero, but I feel like there
are lots of books where the boys get to be jerks,
then the girl has to be nice. So I thought
you guys might be able to give them recom dations
on this so we can take up things in our household.
Thanks guys. This podcast got me pregnant. Stuck the land
(32:11):
that a great ending boy out of nowhere. If you
don't know that inside joke, you're new to the new
to the cast. Ouch, this got me pregnant. Um okay,
um boy. This is a great question. This is a
good question, and I wish I had a better answer
for her. I'm actually scratching my head a little bit.
(32:32):
But she she makes a really good point, which is
that boys get to do fun, gross stuff in books
and girls don't see it. We've talked about this a
little bit, but you can see it in media um
a bit. You know when you see um she Larray
the Brave, which is not new, it was a classic.
(32:57):
Yes she's a mouse, right yeah, and she's like she's
messing with cats and stuff like she's like yeah, yeah
that Like, well, what I was gonna say is you see,
like the media of our childhood, the things that are
there's a lot more UM movies and stuff where you'd
(33:20):
see female characters being like, I don't want to fit
into this, uh this role, this like stereotypical female role.
I'm going to break out of it, and all these
villains are like women can't do things. And at the
time it was this like, oh this that's a great
inspirational message. But where we are now, I see things
(33:43):
like that and I would see MAYBN watch that. I'm like,
don't even give her the idea that that's a normal
thing to break away from. Let's just show me the
characters that that are just living this that's normal that
there's no you don't need to take out of this role.
We've done that and now we're just telling a different story.
(34:04):
And I'd love to hear from listeners um about like
what what books and movies, um are your your kids
watching reading where that's the case where it just I
actually like, I don't know. I like some movies like
that where it's like a league of their own or whatever,
(34:24):
where it's like women coming together, like we rarely get that.
Like I actually think, if anything, sometimes what's limiting about
that message is it like sort of puts it on
women as if it was like our fault that we
didn't like shake off the chains, but are like actively
holding us back every step of the way, you know,
(34:47):
Like right, yeah, there's there's nothing wrong with that. It's
just those movies where let's just see a story that
takes place in a reality where we don't have to
if people women or anyone who's playing outside their typical
stereotypical role doesn't even need to be commented on. It's
just let it be true. Yeah in some cases, but
(35:09):
I also think there should be movies about people being like, hey,
we're directly experiencing oppression. Let's talk about it. Like it's
like sure, but I was thinking about like the kids
the age that our kids are. I think it's more
beneficial to just let them seeing, let them see everyone
(35:30):
be treated the same, because if you give them the oh,
look see this woman is being different, you're really giving
them the message that there's something to fix. You know.
It's like Black Panther. It's a great example of what's
so incredible about that movie is that obviously, the the
(35:51):
themes in the commentary of the movie are incredible, but
a big part that's hugely unique about it is just
like this, uh, this this fictional nation that's like the
most advanced and run entirely by Africans. That's like a
type of story and context that you don't see movies
(36:13):
like that about. Um. And so just to let that
be normal is for a lot of people exciting and empowering. Yeah.
I mean, I agree, representation matters and it's very important.
But also even within that movie, there exists structures of oppressure. Um.
(36:35):
So yeah, um um, but boy, let's think about it.
Are there what what things do they watch that are
well she's asking about books, Yeah, yeah that too. She
I'm really like, we have that book. Kilda must be dancing,
But I don't necessarily think dancing is like a boy activity.
(36:59):
What I'm trying to think other like it's hard to eat.
That's the problem. Part of the problem is it's hard
to even think of like female centered media like in general.
Sometimes like if you if you narrow it down beyond that,
like what I find sometimes just even in terms of
(37:21):
like when I know someone who's like looking to make
something in the entertainment and they're like, we're doing this thing,
and then for whatever reason, it's like it's also supposed
to be a woman in a role, or uh, we're
looking for someone who's cuban or like they have some
specific need. It's like suddenly everyone is scratching their head
because they're like I don't know, uh, I haven't seen them.
(37:45):
Because because they're also looking for someone who's been gainfully
employed doing that thing and has experience. And then people
are like, well, I can't think of a single person
who has anyone's let do that who goes by that description,
you know, like yeah, it's also an interesting thing that
have been in mostly in TV is what I'm thinking of,
(38:05):
where there's a really good, healthy push to diversify UM entertainment,
but you can see the ones where it's thoughtfully done,
and the ones where it's that like, oh, let's make
a perfect blend of races and uh, and we don't
(38:26):
actually give these characters personalities. Their personality is that there
uh Asian, you know, um, and we've seen a lot
of guy and there's a lot of uh. Most of
them I think are like black characters who are like
the doctor um, and they go like, oh, that's good,
(38:48):
let's give let's give this this character status. But they
don't make character choices. They just go, oh, we gave
him a high status profession, so there we go. We diversify,
and that's like not as helpful as making this a
real interesting, textured character with personal character flaws that has
(39:09):
like a normal relationship with other people so they're not
defined by these traits. Well, and then that's like the
whole other side of the representation coin is like you
need to actually diversify the creator so that you have
people making things in the first place. That makes sense
to be casting and hiring all these other people. Um. Yeah, Anyway,
(39:36):
that was a long tangent, but seriously, can you try
to answer her questions. Can you think of books that
have women who act wild like all the examples I
can think of is like, okay, there's like the Shrek book,
but the the character I'm thinking of his like monster
(39:57):
bride princess is like only they're in the last two
pages of the book. You know what we're reading right
now is The Twits um where they're both disgusting and deplorable. Um.
I don't know what the messages on that one. You roll?
Do you remember the Twits? They're just this couple that
(40:21):
despise each other and they just pull pranks on each other.
And and he like he adds like a thin little
sliver of wood to the bottom of her cane every
day too, so she starts to feel like she's shrinking. Uh,
and then he puts she puts worms in his spaghetti,
and then he eventually says, you're shrinking. We need a
(40:44):
stretch shoes. So he ties a million balloons to her
and then just like sends her off into space. This
reminds me that Shragonona is a pretty good witchy character.
Is something I was trying to think of this the
other day. It's like, because Maven is being a princess
for Halloween, and I was like, I feel like it's
hard to get Maven excited about witches because I can't
(41:07):
think of any good age appropriate media for a three
year old that is a positive representation of a witch.
Like there's there's movies for older kids like hocus Pocus
the Witches, but like that would be too much for
her to process, too much for me whenever I saw that,
I just want her to understand how cool witches are.
(41:30):
I mean, but there's got to be a cartoon. Yeah,
they are just checking, Uh is there a good good
witch cartoon? Al Right? This segment is really just listeners
answer this question. Um what I want to know. What
is a good book that hits the chexis boxes? Um? Well.
(41:54):
She also asked for boys who performing emotional labor, which
I feel like they're definitely probably is some like eighties
book about a boy like baking a cake with his
mom or something. You know, Like, I'm sure there's something,
but I would love that book where that is true
and it's and it's not even the point of the book,
(42:14):
you know what I mean, that's the that's the best
case scenario for me. Let let the story be something
else and just let that be true and the kids
kids absorb that more because you see the certain books
that are like this is, this is going to make
this is the book to make your kids aware about
(42:37):
social whatever. And they're rarely good books because they're heavy
handed and they forget to be interesting and characters because
they don't not to use metaphor. Yeah, but anyway, UM, yeah,
well I think people should write in and tell us.
(42:57):
I'm sure there's like thousands of books we fort out
to mention. Um, we'd be happy to read those next time. Um.
So yeah, let us know that is not an answer.
All right, here's another listener note this was actually a
(43:18):
Facebook comment. Um, this comes to us from Beck's who says, hey, Peter,
this is in response first of all too something we
got a remarkable number of emails about, which was are
not fight about how much peanut butter is acceptable to
(43:39):
leave in the jar before you throw it away? Um?
So I threw a jar of peanut butter um that
had an annoying amount of peanut butter. To try to
get out. You'd have to get a spatchelor to get
into it. I didn't think it was worth it. Anyway.
We talked about it on the podcast. Actually, Beth brought
it up as as her being proud that she didn't
(44:00):
bring it up, which I do appreciate it, listener. But
people wrote in to primarily agree with you because they
saw the photo evidence thank god I had as I
was being once again gas lit on this pipe. I'd say,
if you're crazy enough to write in to tell me
(44:20):
that there's enough peanut butter, enough, then it's like you're
also the person that would waste time to Oh my god,
I'm sorry that I just installed that. The people that
emailed in your right to feel the way, thank you
for validating my feelings. But I'm just all I'm saying
is the hundreds of people who didn't need to write
(44:40):
in because they are the same people that would throw
it away. Oh now, it's the cowards like you, your brethren,
who couldn't even write in to support you on this,
the people that have a meek battle, the people that
have better things to do with their time, and then
say five cents in peanut butter. Hi, Peter, here's a
(45:04):
tip for you. Heat up some milk, pour it into
the jar of empty quote unquote empty peanut butter, Throw
in some cocoa and your choice of sweetener, pop the
lid on and shake. Do this over the sink or
it will explode. Trust me on this one, and bam,
not only have you made yourself a delicious peanut butter
(45:27):
hot chocolate, but you've used up all the peanut butter
in the jar. This also works for Natella, and I'm
not going to read the last part where she agreed
with you. I love this tip. I love it as
much or more I love it, and I want to
(45:49):
do it. I'm it's taking me so hungry right now.
I'm so mad that we have two very full jars
of peanut butter, even more than I could tolerate throwing away.
We're gonna have to wait. I'm definitely making brain peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches for the rest of the week.
Our children will suffer so that we don't have to
(46:13):
scoop peanut butter into a mug to make this happen.
But that is another option we could just make that. Okay, well,
thank you for that tip is right up our alley. Clearly,
I'm going to go out on a limb here and
just say that's the best tip I've ever received in
my entire life. And that's only mildly hyperbolic. I would say.
(46:37):
It's up there next to her second tip, which is
you could eat more peanut butter out of the chair.
Do you think that's second to Oh my god, I
don't care. I don't actually care. Uh, here's one more
quick one ready. I love this. You know when you
(47:02):
listen to a podcast Beth, and you know, the idiots
talking are like, yeah, you know, like that thing, um,
oh what's it called? Oh, what's it called? And you're
at home listening and you're like, it's called this, your idiots.
It's one of those things. I got to write in.
(47:22):
Somebody had one of one of those moments, and it
was about our conversation about uh, books where kids are
lost in the wilderness. What was the book that the
subject line of this email is my side of the mountain. Yes,
my side of the mountain. That's correct. Listening to the
jet lagged pod, Beth was talking about the kids who
(47:43):
runaway books and then referred to the boy on the
side of the mountain who trains a falcon. To be fair,
I was very jet lagged. Oh no, she's yelling at me. No, Peter,
not call of the wild my side of the mountain.
I have a shredded copy from my childhood that my
mom found in a box of my old things when
she sent it to me. I spent the afternoon rereading
(48:04):
it and getting that nostalgic feeling of being a kid
and fantasyzing, fetishizing would it be like to have them
all behind? To leave them all behind and make it
on my own? Oh man, what a great book. It
is the ultimate kid fantasy that you could just leave
your whole family, survive on your own, train a peregrine
(48:25):
falcon to catch food for you on your side of
the mountain, side of the mountain. Uh, that's what Brand
thinks when he talks to us. He's like, you idiots,
I'm gonna go live on the mountain. Just give me
a hatchet and I'll crash in a plane. It really
warmed my heart to hear the title of the book,
(48:45):
and I know exactly what she's feeling of, like the
there's something so satisfying about like training a peregrine falcon,
or like having your own flipper? What like having your
own pet the wild animal? That? Yeah, like the TV
show Flipper that we grew up with, well, our parents
(49:07):
grew up with it, and then we watched Nick at Knight.
But yes, we did. Grew up with Flipper. Oh my god, sorry,
I can't. I can't let a thought go by. You know, Um,
I never read My Side of the Mountain, but I do.
You should read it now, you should read It's a Bread.
Maybe I will. We got to finish the twits. Maybe
(49:30):
it would make him more into his nature class and
he would stop sneaking over to cooking. He hates his
nature class. He had his nature class today and he goes,
do I have to go to anymore? I'm like, yeah,
there's like six more. He's like, I can't believe he
hates it so much for someone who loves animals with
every fiber of his being and loves animal facts. Because
(49:53):
he's not seeing animals, he's just walking in the wood.
I know. But whoever's running that class, I have to say,
and I have no idea who you are. I don't
think you're doing a good job. I don't know who
you are, and I don't know how hard your time,
but drop dead. Whoever is running that cooking class that
Brent crashed Bravo, I have no I have no idea
(50:13):
what he's doing at nature class. I'm sure it's fine,
it's it won't tell me. Who knows what's happening, not us.
We're strangers in our son's life. He's he probably loves
it when he's there. He's probably like, you're the coolest
nature leader. Hey, nature leader, you're the coolest. I got
(50:37):
to get back to school so I can turn you know,
five o'clock and I can just hate everything again. Well,
I'm sure when he's at nature class he's like, I
don't want to go home to my parents. I love it.
You ever pick him up and he's like, daddy, I
didn't want you to be here. Now. Do you remember
last year when he told the pre k teacher he
(50:59):
was like, yeah, I go to two schools because he
goes to because he went to daycare and pre game.
And he was like, yeah, a long day. Boy had
a long day. You know what? I had a long day.
(51:19):
I had a long day. Should we call it? What's call? This?
Has been another episode We Knows Parenting. If you would
like to email us to tell us what book title
we got wrong, or to suggest a um a book
where boys do emotional labor or girls get to be
(51:42):
nasty um, you can email us at we Knows pot
at gmail dot com or leave us a voicemail at
three four seven three eight four three uh seven three uh?
Did we already do this? Can? You can find us
on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, at we knows Pod. Leave us
(52:06):
a review and a rating and you want to say
out this got me pregnant? Or what's what should be
the new thing? Beth? I flipp in love this podcast.
I flipping lood love this. I flipp in love you guys,
See you next week. Bye,
Here we go again. We're rolling. We know parenting is back.
You thought it wouldn't be, but it is. Yeah. Everyone
thought this podcast was just going to end abruptly after
last week, but it didn't. Peter McNerney here, Beth Newell
here reporting, reporting live from parenthood. Um, hey, are you
(00:37):
new to the podcast? If you are, um, that's who
we are. We are parents, we are married, we have children.
We've stopped explaining this a long time ago. But for
those of you who, maybe for those of you just
joining us us at the part of the podcast where
we ramble into a vague intro of our parenting podcast,
we have a five year old named Bryns Nuts this week,
(01:03):
and Maven is three, and she's a goof. Maven's Maven's
embracing her goof hood this week. She's a give She's
always been a goof, yeah, but she's she's a self
aware goof. So there's a lot of silly dances. There's
a lot of farts, there's a lot of look at me?
(01:26):
Is that funny? It's costume season as well as scorpio season.
Well they go hand in hand. Everyone's really in a mood.
Did you notice what's on this chair over here. What
is it permanent marker? What? Maven has tucked in several
(01:49):
of her stuffed animals under her blanket. She's really into
taking care of things and putting them to bed. This
is really new for her to play with dolls in
a in like an affectionate girly way. Yeah, for sure. Um,
it seems on schedule she's going to get a baby
(02:10):
cousin and she's going to be like, I'm the mom.
I mean, yeah, she's as We've talked about this a
million times, but you know, we didn't. We didn't particularly
give her girly stuff. She found it, and she found pink,
and it's her identity. She seeked it out. But she
hasn't really ever been that into the like stereotypical like
(02:36):
mom toys like baby dolls and kitchen sets. Like she's
not like obsessed with like it's performing womanhood. Oh that's true.
She means she's obsessed with unicorns and pink and princesses.
But that's true. So the baby thing is new. The
baby thing is new, but she's she's actually more she
(02:57):
has been doing that with animals for a while, like
stuffed animals. She'll like I'm the doctor. She did. She
gave me a very convincing portrayal of a doctor when
she was playing with her docmic Stephen's veterinarian set and
with the animals, and she would take like the blood
pressure thing and like put it on very carefully, and
she was like giving me a checkup. And she was
(03:19):
just so calm and casual, casual about it in a
way where I was like, this is exactly how a
nurse is in the room. She was just like and
I just have to tap this on the side of
your face and like, but it was like not um,
real doctor check up stuff she was doing. But it
all felt very like she plays for herself and Bryn
(03:43):
plays to the room. Yeah, boy, Bryn has He's a
just peak argument. Everything is an argument. He's been a
little bit of a nightmare this week. I'm like, well,
I was like, well, they the bathroom in your classroom, right,
He's like, no, there's no bathroom in my classroom. I'm like, well,
(04:06):
I've been there, I've seen it. And he goes, your
teacher said that there was a bathroom in the classroom. Um,
she was kidding, daddy, there's no bathroom in the classroom.
School is so boring. He's been cranky, He's been saying
school is boring. I was telling a friends they were
(04:26):
like someone was talking about how mean their kid is
to them, which is like everyone says that, but like
when kids are like really mean, the things they find
to say are like so cutting and burned with. I
was laughing about it because I was like, where did
you come up with this? But like yesterday I was
trying to get him to brush his teeth or something,
and he was like, you're a bad mommy. He's like
(04:48):
you're like he basically was like you're a bad mother,
like and it was like, I cannot believe you came
up with that. Like, I mean, it's a pretty simple
thing to say. I know, I know, but it just
like feels so cut singing. This is my greatest fear.
When I was hanging on my friend in l A
a couple of weeks ago, her daughter, who's Maven's age,
(05:09):
turned to her like in the middle of playing, it
was just like, mommy, I can't stop. And then she
like continued she like went on and like it did
something else. We were like, whoa, that was like chilling,
Like she just like out of nowhere. It was connected
to nothing. She was just thinking about time and growing.
(05:30):
I can't stop, mommy, so I should continue goodbye. Um
so mayven. So I tell you this a couple of
nights ago, I don't know. We're getting ready for bed
and Maven comes running in. I'm getting I'm pulling out
some jammies because they're obviously not taking the initiative. And
(05:54):
Maven comes running into the room completely naked. She was daddy, daddy,
and she leans to own and just opens up, uh
everything down there and goes, what's this bump? And I
had to, without laughing a straight face, day, um, that's
your clatoris And she went what and laughed at me
(06:19):
and shook her head and walked out of the room.
I'm impressed that you dealt with it so calmly. I
was like, well, I don't. I don't want. I don't
want to treat this like it's a funny thing, because
you don't want to give any way to the moment
where they're like, is it funny if I show off
my genitals to the room, Like you don't want to
(06:40):
create any sort of any reward. I'm going to give
you a very clinical I didn't say it serious. I
didn't say it goofy. I just said it, and she
could feel that there was something like naughty about it.
She's very into like talking about her but lately, oh
(07:00):
my god, have you seen her? But because she's happy
to show it to you and any other part of her.
Um okay, So my funniest Maven moment of the weekend
it was she had been in the other room playing
with the scissors and she walked into the kitchen and goes, um,
my hair looks a little bit cutted, and of course
(07:23):
she had cut her bangs. Luckily she only cut like
the tiniest piece of her bangs. For clarity, these are
like the safety scissors, Yeah, yeah, they're Yeah. She had
been cutting paper with like like kids scissors, and she's
actually very careful with that sort of thing. So I
but I was like, I cannot leave these out now
because she's they're they're both just like fiends, like you
(07:45):
never know what the pens anymore. They see what they
did at antique table. The more I tell them about
how permanent markers are not for them, the more they
crave permanent markers every second of the day. I needed
to sharp to write my name on this thin piece
of paper. On top of this, we're gonna need to
(08:06):
get like a lockbox or something for literally everything we own. Um,
but just oh, Beth, we could put them in a
lock box. I mean, she's more practical. Yeah. Oh. So
then I was like, I was like, oh, may then don't.
You're not supposed to. Kids are not supposed to cut
their hair. And I hadn't even seen the damage, and
I was just like, you can't do that, and she
(08:28):
burst into tears so passionately. She had been really tired,
and I was just like, oh my god. I was like,
it's okay. I'd like comfort her. She was so she
felt so guilty. I do think she was just I
think there's a part of her that she was like,
my beautiful hair, what have I done? I had well?
(08:52):
And then because she also her face was covered in chocolate,
like inexplicably, like she was like, no, I don't know
you like that. There's that chocolate hummus from Trader Joe's around. Yeah.
That that that makes me nervous. I can't wrap my
brain around kee and chocolate chickpeas. It's like they're eating beans.
That's good for them chocolate. Yeah I didn't try it
(09:15):
beans um. But anyway, so she was so upset and
then I calmed her down and yeah, here we are, here,
we are. Um. We went to a big event this weekend.
Should we talk about it? A very big event, big deal.
(09:39):
Halloween is this Thursday. Yeah, okay. So for those of
you who don't live in Westchester County, New York, there
is something called the Great Jack o' Lantern Blaze, sometimes
called just the Pumpkin Plaze, sometimes called the Pumpkin Place.
If you're Brandon, you want to correct your daddy when
daddy says jack'lina bla. But what you need to know
(10:02):
is that when it comes to Westchester, this is like
the event of the year, Like this is the bless
a scene for you. There's nothing more important to west
Chester in If you're a mom, a dad, a kid
in Westchester, a living, breathing human being, you're going to
be seen at the Blue Blaze. So the Blaze is
(10:24):
where they carve I think it's like over a thousands.
Their claim to famous that these are all hand carved pumpkins,
which means they're not all living pumpkins. Some of them
are hand carved like pumpkins something I mean, don't get
us wrong. There's a tremendous number of very real pumpkins. Yeah,
(10:45):
it's impressive. And they have you know, they have different
gimmicky pumpkins, dinosaur podkas. I just want to pause right
here and admit that so far how we've described it
doesn't sound cool. But just wait if you were to
behold the speck to gill of pump pumpkins and mass
lit before you through a child's eyes who's witnessing them
(11:07):
in the dark, a child who never stays up at night.
And we're also talking about tremendous lighting design up into
the trees, tremendous, tremendous they have. So this is in
Croton on Hudson, which is near Sleepy Hollow. So it's
like the home of the Headless Horsemen basically was born.
And so they have a path of pumpkins that leads
(11:29):
deep into the woods where you just look spookily down
this creepy path. It's very it's very autumnal. It is
aggressively autumn. It's also set on a historical site where
I do think a ghost tried to get into my
body at one point of course, but it's the historical buildings.
(11:50):
It's very spooky. So anyway, these pumpkins. They build a
giant replica of the Brooklyn Bridge out of pumpkins. They
make a statue liber out of pumpkin. They have big
creepy Jack in the box made out of pumpkins, and
then a giant scary jack lantern pops out of it
and scares our kids. They have every zodiac sign fully
(12:13):
created in pumpkins. Um they have, so I think we've
paid it a picture for you of how amazing it is.
And every section has a pumpkin pun based name. But
I gotta say my greatest achievement of the weekend was
that they said the Pumpkin Bridge for the Brooklyn Bridge,
(12:34):
and I was like, that's the lamest. They couldn't have
gone with the gored Washington Bridge for the pumpkin z bridge.
No hold on, we're gonna let everybody applaud from my
joke because they're they're all falling over in their seats
for the gorge Washington Bridge. Okay, I was I was
(12:59):
really a really trying to hire to think of a
good pumpkin punt for a bridge, and when I came
out with that one. I was like, we can go
home now. I feel good. We didn't. I just need
to stop the podcast to underline that joke. Um, and
now we went with your sister and her friend and
it was delightful. It was great. We really so we
(13:22):
went to a restaurant beforehand where our kids were insane
and literally trying to like throw their glasses around on
the table. Were you proud of me? So we gave
them phones, which is like a big thing. We don't
do it, but you know what, that's why we don't
give them phones, so that when we have to it
(13:42):
really works. Well. This is really like underlying my theory
that most of them when they're being horrible, they're like
starving and tired, like they're just because we were on
the way to dinner and they were so fine in
the car and then as soon as we sat down
and I had snacks in the car ready to get
of them, but they didn't want them. But it was
like it was something about the second we sat down,
(14:03):
they just snapped into like rage starving monsters and they
were like, let's try to throw our glasses around on
the table. This is just what's so, you know, I
picked them up most days, and when we picked them
up from after school, you know, it's you know, five o'clock,
(14:26):
it's the worst hour. It's what they're the most upset.
They're tired, they're hungry, and so it's every day we're
learning to hate each other. Well, I think if we
had better work life balance, we could pick them up
at like make a trillion dollars and then we'll do
it and you'll be a house husband. Yes, I would
(14:49):
love that. We've talked about this before. I'm I'm halfway there.
Just just make you want to be like maybe part
time husband, like part time a dad. No, I don't
want to be a full house husband. I have too
many things to do. But maybe just for a few months,
(15:10):
I'd like to sexy role play. Oh yeah, that I
will do. Hey, honey, sorry, I gotta run out and
get some new wipes. There's like a movie version of
this where we you lose a job and you're like,
you know what, I'm just gonna be a house husband
and I'm like, you know what, go for it, and
(15:32):
it's like smooth sailing for like five weeks, and then
you just crash and you're like, I get this is
called Mr Mom and made this movie six it's my guest.
I've never seen it. Um anyway, boy, our pumpkins are ablaze?
(15:56):
Can I say it's something? The best thing I've learned
from the pumpkin Blaze, the best thing the Jack Lanner
blaze is don't cut the top of your pumpkin. You
know Pelee always cut the top out from the blaze. Yeah,
because I just realized none of them have holes on
the top. Everyone, all of them there they cut a
(16:19):
hole in the bottom. Uh, And so I was like,
that's a good idea. We cut the bottom out, scooped
it out, and then the little piece that it creates,
I dug a little circle into it. That's a perfect
size for the little tea uh candles, tea can what
is it called? They called tea candles? Tea light? Do
(16:41):
you light um? And then that fits right in there.
Then you light that and then you just put the
jack Lanner on top of it so you don't have
to light it and then stick your hand down and
burn your hand. Have I talked on the podcast about
my neighbor across the street growing up on how obsessed
she was with Halloween. No, Um, I had a neighbor
(17:01):
cross the street who was when I was a kid.
She was probably like fifty something, which seemed very old,
but she, you know, she wasn't um and she was
obsessed with Halloween and she was a witch every year,
and she would decorate her whole front yard with like
strobe lights and like black lights, and she had like
a witch over a cauldron with like steam coming out
(17:25):
of it. And she's great and like and she'd like
makes something new every year and have grave stones and
like hands coming out and like. So I would go
over while she was setting up and I'd like check
it out, and I was like, I'm sure. I thought
I was like very mature, and I'd be like, oh, yeah,
what are you doing this year? Like you know, like hey,
calf looking good this year? And you know, I love crafts,
(17:49):
so I was always just like, oh, yeah, yeah, you
should probably do it that way. Like it it's like
very invested. And I so I now still feel like
Halloween is one of the few holidays where I'm like,
I understand really going all out for this holiday. Oh
my gosh, should we go all out? This? It makes
me wish I had a house because my friend was
(18:10):
buying like a fall wreath, and I was like, there's
nothing about our apartment that is worth decorating for the public,
do you know? I mean, oh yeah, you know what.
The idea of having a house on Halloween made me
more excited than any other time you've you've suggested or
put the picture in my head of us if I
had a house for Halloween, it would be definitely like
(18:32):
cobwebs and it's in my house. But first we have
to redo our bathroom. Oh oh yeah, that is the
big news. Should we make a segment of a segment.
We'll be right back with renovation news. And now it's
(18:59):
time for we knows, we knows Reyna's I was gonna say,
we knows how expensive it is to fix the leak
in your shower when it expands into a full bathroom renovation.
I liked my title, bettering um, your title has a
(19:21):
better chance of being reused than mine. So we've decided,
for various reasons, including the fact that everything in our
bathroom is falling apart, our hand has been forced, we've
decided to renovate our bathroom in our apartment. In our
apartment which only has one bathroom. So so when we
(19:41):
moved in the shower was the least um not disgusting.
Now it looked kind of gross, the least not discussing
that's double negative, right, is the grossest are when we
moved in, our shower had like black grow like moldy
(20:04):
grow that it. It appeared to be uncleanable, but has
since slowly worn away through three five years of cleaning. Yes,
but the window sill, the corner of it was rotted away,
just soft so the window sills running away. And then
(20:24):
there was a a soap holder, a soap dish built
into the tile which at some point got ripped off
the wall of you put your foot on it, shaping
your legs. Is that true? I don't remember. That's what
you told me. Blame it on me, not your fault.
It was not installed securely, so at one point I
(20:47):
pulled the entire windows still out, um, and I cut
out the infected piece and I was like, well, here's
a temporary solution. And I pumped this thing full of
hawk and sealed it all up as best as a
YouTube video could teach me. And you know what, I
(21:08):
did a pretty good job. Um. But I did a
job that lasted maybe for two months, before it started,
the paint started chipping, and it's yeah, so are that's
been in various stages of decay, and then our toilets
started running weird. Fixed that that is fixed. That is fixed,
(21:31):
at least temporarily. We have another weird temporary fix going on. Oh,
I got the perfect length on that chain. Finally, I
don't know that's how that's been messing up. I stand
by my toilet um. But downstairs neighbors that started leaking.
We got a call from the super But that part
of that problem is that if you if our blinds
(21:52):
are not closed in our shower, then water gets through
the window somehow. Yeah, it weeks out to the wall
to through the brick wall on the outside of the build.
And I don't even think our bathroom renovation budget includes
a new window. That's one of the questions that is
yet to be at The window is not the problem.
(22:12):
It's the window still and I've talked to him specifically
about it. We're getting a stone window skill. I think
that's why it was leaking them because the days that
our neighbor complained the blinds were up. We'll get into it.
I've I've been in there the whole thing is full
of false the whole thing is okay. Well anyway, I
(22:32):
hope everyone is who's listening is riveted by this David
description are decaying bathroom. But it was one of those things.
We brought it in in a guy and he was like,
I could patch this hole this much money, but the
whole wall is sort of crappy, so I can't promise
that I won't be back. And he's like, we could
do the shower, and of course we could do the
(22:55):
whole thing. And at the time I was like, just
give me a quote for the whole and get maybe
give me a hold for the shower, and then later
and now I was like, we're not going to do
half a bathroom. No you can't, not with the tile
covering like the whole bathroom. So we got it a
second guy who never emailed us back, which made it
(23:15):
easy to decide, I'm going to the first guy. I
think listeners should write in and tell us how to
redo our bathroom. Please give us tips, because I feel
sort of like I don't want to spend a ton
of money on this, but I also want to like
it too, not be a crappy thing. I have to
live with forever. We we did this in our old place,
(23:39):
and you designed it and you did an incredible job,
I know, but what in retrospect, like our contractor was
shitty and the materials could have been better, and like,
there's a lot of things that I would do differently.
I think it was only the contractor. It was like
at least contractor, But there was also like like howel
(24:00):
rods and stuff I bought where I was like, oh
my god, why did I assume that this fancy, expensive
restoration hardware stuff would be good because it's not restoration
or hardware is ship. It's not all ship. But like
it's that couch that we bought that deteriorated so quickly,
not always solid, and at lamp that we bought fell
(24:21):
over and just snapped in that couch's defense, like we
really gave it beating. Are those life fixtures from restoration
hardware on the wall? No, those are from pottery Barn.
I think we have very exquisite diversities. We run the
gamut from pottery Barn all the way to restoration hardware. Yeah,
(24:44):
we talked about our Joybird couch. Still great, Still great.
If you haven't listened to our Joybird episode. I don't
remember if it's good, but we talked about joy Bird.
That's where our couches from. I love it anyway. If
you're listening and you want to give us free stuff,
where always open to it. Really, this segment is called
do you knows how to give us? Give us? Um?
(25:09):
Are you the owner of a warehouse full of subway tiles? Now?
But okay, here's the questions that have yet to be
answered that I am just dreading having to research. Is like,
we have a tiny bathroom. The current sink is like
not even a pedestal, it's just connected to the wall
with a basin, so there's no cabinet or anything there.
(25:30):
I think the responsible thing to do is always to
add in like a cabinet under the sink so you
can throw like storage is good the only spot in
bathroom where there is space, right. But the research of
finding vanity that's small enough to fitness space like that
is like incredibly annoying. And then when you try to
(25:50):
figure out if something's made of solid wood or like
cardboard paper, they'll never give you the details, and you're
like looking online, you know what I mean, And then
you're like, oh, I have to run around to like
ten stores this weekend to see if this thing I'm
looking at is like a piece of garbage. Anyway, these
are the things that I think about when I anticipate
(26:11):
this very fun renovation. I want to help, but you
know what, and I will on the non design things.
I'll give you opinions, but you're better at it and
you're more particular. So if you want to send me places,
send me places. I just don't even really know where
(26:32):
to start at this point, because I'm like, what do
I even want this bathroom to look like? You know
what I mean? I want like a vision, and I
don't want to try to do the same bathroom we
did last time. Well it was a really good bathroom.
I mean you could sort of do it like that.
It was fun, but like you should that color, take
that wallpaper out of there? Is this entertainment here us
(26:56):
plan our renovation. Who who's has renovation night? Our stories?
Can you believe? I do want to hear? I feel
this is what it feels like. The renovation feels like
a trap, like for our marriage, Like it's just you
know it's going to be stressful. Yeah, well we've already
thought about it, Um, yeah, and we will continue. Um.
(27:21):
I was really I really thought I was out of
the out of the weeds. But with what When I
like passing the project onto you, I was like, all right,
this went well. That was a little hasty, but it's fine. Yeah, um,
here we are here, We are here, we are now
(27:41):
should we just redo the whole place? What else would
you red doing here? Though? Like all the floors, all
the walls, all the things. Knock that wall down, open
it up, you know, not more money than we have.
Knocking down walls is overrated. There's nothing Like we could
redo our kitchen, but it wouldn't like vastly increase the value.
(28:04):
Like we we would do better by just stripping all
the wallpaper in our kitchen and then like painting. You know,
but who's going to do that? Us? Never because we
could do wallpaper. I was gonna say, we can't afford
to do anything except maybe barely this bathroom. But anyway,
(28:27):
are you a contractor? Do you want to do it
for free? And you're great in our designer We probably
your location based in this podcast. You want to move
to Westchester to fix our bathroom? If you say yes, uh,
there's probably something wrong with you? Are you h an
independent small business owner who stands very little to gain
(28:48):
by giving us free stuff. I'll tell you what. You
will get a ton of free publicity to a very
specific target of demographics. Here. You know what, there's probably
a lot of people listening to this. They could redo
a bathroom or already have. Are you restoration hardware and
(29:10):
you want to make amends for the past. We don't
want to hear it because what you did was unforgivable.
If your joy bird enjoy Bird does bathrooms. What I
want to hear from listeners is like dream scenario. Who
should we be trying to get to sponsor this? Like Ikia?
Who tell us our dream sponsor? Ikia, Well, you know,
(29:33):
dream big if you want to. I really, here's what
here's how you can tell I'm getting old? Is like really,
more than anything. All I can think about is I
want the materials to be solid and not break in
two minutes. You know what I mean? That's all. As
I started looking around you and you were like, we
should get a heavier door for the bathroom, I was like, yeah,
(29:56):
that would be good. And then I started looking at
all of our doors and I'm like ship now I
hate all our doors. Well, I hate our doors, but
I've convinced myself to be okay with them because our
kids haven't pinched their fingers in heavy doors. But I'm
really invested in our doors now that it took me
(30:16):
a year and a half to replace all the door
knobs I just hate because they're so like, not at
all sound proof. So you just always feel like you're
always in close physical proximity to everyone in the apartment.
And that's why I go as far away from you
as possible for your own kid. This next segment is
(30:46):
called what is it called you pointed at me? What
is it called you putting on me to start talking?
After I started talking? This next segment is called Listeners
want to Know? Is that's where we take questions and
come ones from you guys. I don't think I did,
but that's fine, all right. Oh yeah, we got a voicemail,
(31:07):
my darling. You really listen to it. Get thrown at me.
Here it comes. Hey, Beth and Peter, this is the
least from Baltimore. I love the podcast. Have a question
for you. We have a three year old boy and
a one year old girl. I'm looking for recommendations for
books where boys do emotional labor and or girls get
(31:29):
to be assholes. We have an older boy and a
younger girl. I'm a stay at home mom, so we've
got like a real heteronormative situation here. And for example,
the little engine that could, the mail trains all get
to say no, I'm too busy or I'm too old,
I can't help out the broken down train. But then
(31:49):
the female train comes along and it's the hero. It's
great that she's the hero, but I feel like there
are lots of books where the boys get to be jerks,
then the girl has to be nice. So I thought
you guys might be able to give them recom dations
on this so we can take up things in our household.
Thanks guys. This podcast got me pregnant. Stuck the land
(32:11):
that a great ending boy out of nowhere. If you
don't know that inside joke, you're new to the new
to the cast. Ouch, this got me pregnant. Um okay,
um boy. This is a great question. This is a
good question, and I wish I had a better answer
for her. I'm actually scratching my head a little bit.
(32:32):
But she she makes a really good point, which is
that boys get to do fun, gross stuff in books
and girls don't see it. We've talked about this a
little bit, but you can see it in media um
a bit. You know when you see um she Larray
the Brave, which is not new, it was a classic.
(32:57):
Yes she's a mouse, right yeah, and she's like she's
messing with cats and stuff like she's like yeah, yeah
that Like, well, what I was gonna say is you see,
like the media of our childhood, the things that are
there's a lot more UM movies and stuff where you'd
(33:20):
see female characters being like, I don't want to fit
into this, uh this role, this like stereotypical female role.
I'm going to break out of it, and all these
villains are like women can't do things. And at the
time it was this like, oh this that's a great
inspirational message. But where we are now, I see things
(33:43):
like that and I would see MAYBN watch that. I'm like,
don't even give her the idea that that's a normal
thing to break away from. Let's just show me the
characters that that are just living this that's normal that
there's no you don't need to take out of this role.
We've done that and now we're just telling a different story.
(34:04):
And I'd love to hear from listeners um about like
what what books and movies, um are your your kids
watching reading where that's the case where it just I
actually like, I don't know. I like some movies like
that where it's like a league of their own or whatever,
(34:24):
where it's like women coming together, like we rarely get that.
Like I actually think, if anything, sometimes what's limiting about
that message is it like sort of puts it on
women as if it was like our fault that we
didn't like shake off the chains, but are like actively
holding us back every step of the way, you know,
(34:47):
Like right, yeah, there's there's nothing wrong with that. It's
just those movies where let's just see a story that
takes place in a reality where we don't have to
if people women or anyone who's playing outside their typical
stereotypical role doesn't even need to be commented on. It's
just let it be true. Yeah in some cases, but
(35:09):
I also think there should be movies about people being like, hey,
we're directly experiencing oppression. Let's talk about it. Like it's
like sure, but I was thinking about like the kids
the age that our kids are. I think it's more
beneficial to just let them seeing, let them see everyone
(35:30):
be treated the same, because if you give them the oh,
look see this woman is being different, you're really giving
them the message that there's something to fix. You know.
It's like Black Panther. It's a great example of what's
so incredible about that movie is that obviously, the the
(35:51):
themes in the commentary of the movie are incredible, but
a big part that's hugely unique about it is just
like this, uh, this this fictional nation that's like the
most advanced and run entirely by Africans. That's like a
type of story and context that you don't see movies
(36:13):
like that about. Um. And so just to let that
be normal is for a lot of people exciting and empowering. Yeah.
I mean, I agree, representation matters and it's very important.
But also even within that movie, there exists structures of oppressure. Um.
(36:35):
So yeah, um um, but boy, let's think about it.
Are there what what things do they watch that are
well she's asking about books, Yeah, yeah that too. She
I'm really like, we have that book. Kilda must be dancing,
But I don't necessarily think dancing is like a boy activity.
(36:59):
What I'm trying to think other like it's hard to eat.
That's the problem. Part of the problem is it's hard
to even think of like female centered media like in general.
Sometimes like if you if you narrow it down beyond that,
like what I find sometimes just even in terms of
(37:21):
like when I know someone who's like looking to make
something in the entertainment and they're like, we're doing this thing,
and then for whatever reason, it's like it's also supposed
to be a woman in a role, or uh, we're
looking for someone who's cuban or like they have some
specific need. It's like suddenly everyone is scratching their head
because they're like I don't know, uh, I haven't seen them.
(37:45):
Because because they're also looking for someone who's been gainfully
employed doing that thing and has experience. And then people
are like, well, I can't think of a single person
who has anyone's let do that who goes by that description,
you know, like yeah, it's also an interesting thing that
have been in mostly in TV is what I'm thinking of,
(38:05):
where there's a really good, healthy push to diversify UM entertainment,
but you can see the ones where it's thoughtfully done,
and the ones where it's that like, oh, let's make
a perfect blend of races and uh, and we don't
(38:26):
actually give these characters personalities. Their personality is that there
uh Asian, you know, um, and we've seen a lot
of guy and there's a lot of uh. Most of
them I think are like black characters who are like
the doctor um, and they go like, oh, that's good,
(38:48):
let's give let's give this this character status. But they
don't make character choices. They just go, oh, we gave
him a high status profession, so there we go. We diversify,
and that's like not as helpful as making this a
real interesting, textured character with personal character flaws that has
(39:09):
like a normal relationship with other people so they're not
defined by these traits. Well, and then that's like the
whole other side of the representation coin is like you
need to actually diversify the creator so that you have
people making things in the first place. That makes sense
to be casting and hiring all these other people. Um. Yeah, Anyway,
(39:36):
that was a long tangent, but seriously, can you try
to answer her questions. Can you think of books that
have women who act wild like all the examples I
can think of is like, okay, there's like the Shrek book,
but the the character I'm thinking of his like monster
(39:57):
bride princess is like only they're in the last two
pages of the book. You know what we're reading right
now is The Twits um where they're both disgusting and deplorable. Um.
I don't know what the messages on that one. You roll?
Do you remember the Twits? They're just this couple that
(40:21):
despise each other and they just pull pranks on each other.
And and he like he adds like a thin little
sliver of wood to the bottom of her cane every
day too, so she starts to feel like she's shrinking. Uh,
and then he puts she puts worms in his spaghetti,
and then he eventually says, you're shrinking. We need a
(40:44):
stretch shoes. So he ties a million balloons to her
and then just like sends her off into space. This
reminds me that Shragonona is a pretty good witchy character.
Is something I was trying to think of this the
other day. It's like, because Maven is being a princess
for Halloween, and I was like, I feel like it's
hard to get Maven excited about witches because I can't
(41:07):
think of any good age appropriate media for a three
year old that is a positive representation of a witch.
Like there's there's movies for older kids like hocus Pocus
the Witches, but like that would be too much for
her to process, too much for me whenever I saw that,
I just want her to understand how cool witches are.
(41:30):
I mean, but there's got to be a cartoon. Yeah,
they are just checking, Uh is there a good good
witch cartoon? Al Right? This segment is really just listeners
answer this question. Um what I want to know. What
is a good book that hits the chexis boxes? Um? Well.
(41:54):
She also asked for boys who performing emotional labor, which
I feel like they're definitely probably is some like eighties
book about a boy like baking a cake with his
mom or something. You know, Like, I'm sure there's something,
but I would love that book where that is true
and it's and it's not even the point of the book,
(42:14):
you know what I mean, that's the that's the best
case scenario for me. Let let the story be something
else and just let that be true and the kids
kids absorb that more because you see the certain books
that are like this is, this is going to make
this is the book to make your kids aware about
(42:37):
social whatever. And they're rarely good books because they're heavy
handed and they forget to be interesting and characters because
they don't not to use metaphor. Yeah, but anyway, UM, yeah,
well I think people should write in and tell us.
(42:57):
I'm sure there's like thousands of books we fort out
to mention. Um, we'd be happy to read those next time. Um.
So yeah, let us know that is not an answer.
All right, here's another listener note this was actually a
(43:18):
Facebook comment. Um, this comes to us from Beck's who says, hey, Peter,
this is in response first of all too something we
got a remarkable number of emails about, which was are
not fight about how much peanut butter is acceptable to
(43:39):
leave in the jar before you throw it away? Um?
So I threw a jar of peanut butter um that
had an annoying amount of peanut butter. To try to
get out. You'd have to get a spatchelor to get
into it. I didn't think it was worth it. Anyway.
We talked about it on the podcast. Actually, Beth brought
it up as as her being proud that she didn't
(44:00):
bring it up, which I do appreciate it, listener. But
people wrote in to primarily agree with you because they
saw the photo evidence thank god I had as I
was being once again gas lit on this pipe. I'd say,
if you're crazy enough to write in to tell me
(44:20):
that there's enough peanut butter, enough, then it's like you're
also the person that would waste time to Oh my god,
I'm sorry that I just installed that. The people that
emailed in your right to feel the way, thank you
for validating my feelings. But I'm just all I'm saying
is the hundreds of people who didn't need to write
(44:40):
in because they are the same people that would throw
it away. Oh now, it's the cowards like you, your brethren,
who couldn't even write in to support you on this,
the people that have a meek battle, the people that
have better things to do with their time, and then
say five cents in peanut butter. Hi, Peter, here's a
(45:04):
tip for you. Heat up some milk, pour it into
the jar of empty quote unquote empty peanut butter, Throw
in some cocoa and your choice of sweetener, pop the
lid on and shake. Do this over the sink or
it will explode. Trust me on this one, and bam,
not only have you made yourself a delicious peanut butter
(45:27):
hot chocolate, but you've used up all the peanut butter
in the jar. This also works for Natella, and I'm
not going to read the last part where she agreed
with you. I love this tip. I love it as
much or more I love it, and I want to
(45:49):
do it. I'm it's taking me so hungry right now.
I'm so mad that we have two very full jars
of peanut butter, even more than I could tolerate throwing away.
We're gonna have to wait. I'm definitely making brain peanut
butter and jelly sandwiches for the rest of the week.
Our children will suffer so that we don't have to
(46:13):
scoop peanut butter into a mug to make this happen.
But that is another option we could just make that. Okay, well,
thank you for that tip is right up our alley. Clearly,
I'm going to go out on a limb here and
just say that's the best tip I've ever received in
my entire life. And that's only mildly hyperbolic. I would say.
(46:37):
It's up there next to her second tip, which is
you could eat more peanut butter out of the chair.
Do you think that's second to Oh my god, I
don't care. I don't actually care. Uh, here's one more
quick one ready. I love this. You know when you
(47:02):
listen to a podcast Beth, and you know, the idiots
talking are like, yeah, you know, like that thing, um,
oh what's it called? Oh, what's it called? And you're
at home listening and you're like, it's called this, your idiots.
It's one of those things. I got to write in.
(47:22):
Somebody had one of one of those moments, and it
was about our conversation about uh, books where kids are
lost in the wilderness. What was the book that the
subject line of this email is my side of the mountain. Yes,
my side of the mountain. That's correct. Listening to the
jet lagged pod, Beth was talking about the kids who
(47:43):
runaway books and then referred to the boy on the
side of the mountain who trains a falcon. To be fair,
I was very jet lagged. Oh no, she's yelling at me. No, Peter,
not call of the wild my side of the mountain.
I have a shredded copy from my childhood that my
mom found in a box of my old things when
she sent it to me. I spent the afternoon rereading
(48:04):
it and getting that nostalgic feeling of being a kid
and fantasyzing, fetishizing would it be like to have them
all behind? To leave them all behind and make it
on my own? Oh man, what a great book. It
is the ultimate kid fantasy that you could just leave
your whole family, survive on your own, train a peregrine
(48:25):
falcon to catch food for you on your side of
the mountain, side of the mountain. Uh, that's what Brand
thinks when he talks to us. He's like, you idiots,
I'm gonna go live on the mountain. Just give me
a hatchet and I'll crash in a plane. It really
warmed my heart to hear the title of the book,
(48:45):
and I know exactly what she's feeling of, like the
there's something so satisfying about like training a peregrine falcon,
or like having your own flipper? What like having your
own pet the wild animal? That? Yeah, like the TV
show Flipper that we grew up with, well, our parents
(49:07):
grew up with it, and then we watched Nick at Knight.
But yes, we did. Grew up with Flipper. Oh my god, sorry,
I can't. I can't let a thought go by. You know, Um,
I never read My Side of the Mountain, but I do.
You should read it now, you should read It's a Bread.
Maybe I will. We got to finish the twits. Maybe
(49:30):
it would make him more into his nature class and
he would stop sneaking over to cooking. He hates his
nature class. He had his nature class today and he goes,
do I have to go to anymore? I'm like, yeah,
there's like six more. He's like, I can't believe he
hates it so much for someone who loves animals with
every fiber of his being and loves animal facts. Because
(49:53):
he's not seeing animals, he's just walking in the wood.
I know. But whoever's running that class, I have to say,
and I have no idea who you are. I don't
think you're doing a good job. I don't know who
you are, and I don't know how hard your time,
but drop dead. Whoever is running that cooking class that
Brent crashed Bravo, I have no I have no idea
(50:13):
what he's doing at nature class. I'm sure it's fine,
it's it won't tell me. Who knows what's happening, not us.
We're strangers in our son's life. He's he probably loves
it when he's there. He's probably like, you're the coolest
nature leader. Hey, nature leader, you're the coolest. I got
(50:37):
to get back to school so I can turn you know,
five o'clock and I can just hate everything again. Well,
I'm sure when he's at nature class he's like, I
don't want to go home to my parents. I love it.
You ever pick him up and he's like, daddy, I
didn't want you to be here. Now. Do you remember
last year when he told the pre k teacher he
(50:59):
was like, yeah, I go to two schools because he
goes to because he went to daycare and pre game.
And he was like, yeah, a long day. Boy had
a long day. You know what? I had a long day.
(51:19):
I had a long day. Should we call it? What's call? This?
Has been another episode We Knows Parenting. If you would
like to email us to tell us what book title
we got wrong, or to suggest a um a book
where boys do emotional labor or girls get to be
(51:42):
nasty um, you can email us at we Knows pot
at gmail dot com or leave us a voicemail at
three four seven three eight four three uh seven three uh?
Did we already do this? Can? You can find us
on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, at we knows Pod. Leave us
(52:06):
a review and a rating and you want to say
out this got me pregnant? Or what's what should be
the new thing? Beth? I flipp in love this podcast.
I flipping lood love this. I flipp in love you guys,
See you next week. Bye,
We Knows Parenting News
Hosts And Creators
Beth Newell
Peter McNerney
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.