Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
I got and welcome. Do we know its parenting? I'm
Peter McNerney man. Do you not associate that song with
(00:27):
like the most some of the most exciting moments of
your childhood? Uh? And this is Beth newell Um. I
don't know if I do directly, but I feel like
I know what you mean. Yes, I'll say yes to that.
You guys were probably not playing that at like cups games.
You're playing like boning the U s what. I'm just
(00:51):
guessing a New Jersey anthem. Yeah. No, Well in Chicago,
you know what is the Chicago Well, we're Moore. We
just had a live organist that was a Chicago stadium
and Rerigley Field. There was none of that, those stupid
bills and with none of that AM radio fancy nonsense
(01:11):
with the US and the big screen. That's anyway we
come here for the warmth. Is this your Chicago accent?
I'm from Chicago, Illinois. This is what we sound like
in the Midwest. Beth lost her drink. I can't I
(01:34):
can't find it anywhere, and it's we're recording. It's a
lost cause. I don't know, later than normal because we
had a search for this drink it's a lie. I
didn't help. I didn't look, but made literally no effort
to look. I say, combed the grounds of our two
better apartments. My neck hurts. I slept on my neck wrong,
and I've it's one of those like my whole body hurts.
(01:55):
You did when I was walking around you. I was
muttering about where my drink was, and you were like,
my neck hurt, my neck in your classic Midwestern act.
I'll tell you what my neck it is. I got
a literal pain in my neck. Um, boy, tell us
more about this fascinating. I can't get the height of
(02:15):
my chair correct to talk into this microphone so that
it might my neck doesn't hurt. See all this sounds anyway? Boy?
A lot has happened this week? A lot? Wait what
happened this week? Well, before we get to the major events,
I want to say something before I forget it. May
have Ben found this superhero mask thing that we have.
(02:39):
And she goes give you that mask, daddy, and I go,
here you go, and she grabs it from me and
she looks at me in the most mature voice I've
ever heard come out of a three year old. She
goes to Daddy watch and learn put on the mask,
and I was like, where did you hear that? She's
been wildly? She's um, she's really feeling herself, like watch
(03:05):
and learned, daddy, she's been. So. We had a plate
date yesterday and Brent's friend came over and she the
second we got home with him, she ran into a
room and she was like, I need to put on
my princess dress. And she put on her big red
princess dress from these costumes that we just inherited from
(03:27):
my cousin's kids, and she was like she like sauntered
into the living room and then she turned to you
and whispered, Lucas is in my house. She sat right
next to him, Yeah, they were all sitting very close
to one another, and saddled up best to him and
then looked over me and whispered Lucas house. And then
(03:48):
like so then like halfway through the plate date, she
went into the bedroom into a costume, changed into a princess, sorry,
a mermaid costume, and then she waltzed back in with
her fins. She was very watch and learn daddy. She
was also like mostly naked for half the day, which
(04:10):
I think she was enjoying. Yeah, well she loves that. Um,
I can't blame her. She looks great. You just bought
some sweatpants shorts. You want to talk about him? Um,
I think you can attest. It's very sexy development, very
sexy development in our lives. Sweatpants that are also shorts.
(04:34):
Sweatpants shorts. Yeah, they're great sweat shorts. I just you know,
I have to say, I thought about this for a
long time, and I was like, all of my pajama shorts,
I don't feel comfortable like walking out into the hall
and like taking the trash out or whatever, you know
what I mean. And I was like, I just need
some like trash taking out. I need like granny pants
(04:55):
for like just moseying around and living my life, you
know what I mean. I wouldn't call these gre your pants.
I call them hip mom sweatshort. I feel like I
look like I'm like at field hockey camp, you know
what I mean. Like it's like it's not glamorous, but
I'm comfortable. You know. Well, good for you, thank you.
(05:16):
I've only thank you platonic life mate. I've only seen
them in a poorly lit room while you were back lit,
so I can only tell you that the silhouette is great.
Thank you. I think the problem is I spend so
much of the day looking glamorous. At the end of
the day, I just don't want to I need to
(05:36):
strip down a little. I just gotta lower my modesty,
look like crap, feel like a real person. We also
went to a baby shower this weekend. Went to a
baby shower that was big. You all know Sam and Rasa.
They were a guest on the podcast when we found
out they were having a baby. It's getting close November.
We went to their baby shower. Your brother, your baby
(05:59):
baby a b batty brother is about to have his
first child, which is very exciting with his very funny,
lovely wife Um and so Brynn. Of course, we were
trying to explain what a baby shower was to Brendan
Maven and Brynn was like, we're going to get to
see the baby come out, like once again. He was
(06:21):
very interested in. That's really fascinated. Oh, this reminds me. I.
So my sister was here last night and he started
talking to her about marriage or something, and he was like,
if you're a grown up, you have to get married.
And my sister is not married obviously, and then well
just we all know she's not married. And she was like,
(06:42):
but I'm not married or whatever, and he's like, you
gotta and I was like and he was saying, he
was like, grown up has to be married. And I
was like, well, I think this came about because we're
talking about like you can't get married until you're eighteen
or something, and then he thinks that once you turn
eighteen and you immediately have to get married. He's like,
I got to start looking. So he was like talking
to my sister and me, and I was like, well,
I didn't get married until I was like twenty four.
(07:04):
And he was like. I was like, are we in trouble.
He's like, yeah, you guys were bad and you need
to be married. And then I was like trying to
explain to him. I was like, sometimes people don't want
to be married or they don't know anyone that they
want to be married to, and he he goes, but
what if someone's in love with you? He was like
so passionate, and it's like at He's like, what if
(07:26):
they want to marry you? And then he like went
and found so my friend Sam from my birthday just
sent me this very sexist m vintage postcard where a
man is like kissing the maid while his like hag
of a wife is in the background. And it's not
clear she sent this to you ironically, yeah, but it's
(07:47):
very funny and cute, and so Brin pulled this off
the shelf. He was like looking for an example because
he was he was telling my sister she should just
go look out the window and find someone to marry.
And then he went and looked at the window and
was like, there's nobody out there, just squirrels. So then
he grabbed this picture down and he was pointing to
(08:07):
this guy, this like nineties fifties, sixties like cartoon man,
and he was like, Ali, you need to marry someone
like this, and she was and she being a cheating
and and she being a lesbian, was like, I'm not
really interested in him. And then she pointed to the
maid and was like I'm more interested in her. And
(08:30):
he was like he was like, you're not into men
or like he Burn was like stunned, and I was like,
some people are not into men, and he was like, alle,
that's not nice. Uh, And it was talked about this
with him before surprise to him. But I think he's
really into the idea of like being in love, you
know what I mean. It's a little romantic. He's really romantic.
(08:52):
When we watched like Disney movies, the kissing parts, he
gets very excited. He looks at you and he goes
and then he runs over in like hides his face.
I get it though, Like I'm like, yeah, that's the
big moment in the movie. Like, oh, that was me
at that age, all little soft hearted children. I was
always in love with somebody from my entire life. Who
(09:18):
were your first I don't we don't want to go
in the Santa right now. I just remember the like
in in in pre k there was always just like
the girl in the class that I was like, I'm
going to pay attention to this person, and I want
them to pay attention to me, and I will chase
them around the playground. I think we've already talked about
this a little bit, but my when I was in kindergarten,
(09:40):
on the playground, we had a game where the boys
would just like push each other or like the boys
would push the girls or something. And I was like
very into just pushing the boys. Yeah, And I was
like that's my love language is just like such physical
it weirdly is it's like anything anytime, you know, like
(10:04):
we've been in a playful like wrestle, you you go
from zero to a hundred of like I'm going to
kick your ass because I think it's really funny how
angry you get if you start to lose control of
the situation, Like you're like, you don't because you don't
want to be like because you're trying not to hurt me,
but you're also like so angry about the idea that
(10:25):
I could have the upper hand, Like you're just like, no,
it's no anger involved. I don't know. It's just funny
to watch you reflectively, like it's just the I'm stronger
than you, and it's like you're like, I need you
to know that I'm strong mode going like, well, I
assume we both know that I'm going to win this
if we're really going it's not true because you don't
(10:46):
have the endurance that I have. You would think that
you would you know, not go ac it's not true,
and you just immediately go so I have to go
a hundred percent or you're gonna tickle, torture me or something,
and I'm like this, this is sort of fun, but
it's also a lot of work and I'm now very tired. Yeah,
(11:08):
that's fun to get exercise to fun with you. So
the other big thing, Um, the other big thing, Well,
I just wanted to say Maven talking to Racist Belly
and feeling the baby kick. Oh yeah, there was at
this baby shower we went to. There was a six
(11:29):
day old baby, so tiny and tenius, most beautiful baby,
and Maven was looking at it and like also looking
at Racist Belly and doing the math. Yeah, it's exciting.
She's going to be the big cousin for once. Um.
So I've been feeling a little baby crazy you have. Yeah, well,
(11:52):
I've been seeing babies and saying weird things that I regret,
mostly things like oh boy, it's taken out my energy
not to grab that baby, like things like that that
people are like, whoa calm down creep like you your
aunt can say, but like a big bearded man can't.
(12:13):
So my good buddy John Dixon, who we have in
the podcast a long time ago, who was looking to adopt. Ah,
it finally happened and he had a great story about it.
After I was some really uh frustrating and sad and
uh dead end uh paths ended up with a beautiful baby,
(12:38):
and he's moving to Europe. It was so we had
lunch before he went, and he brought his baby, and
I didn't know he was bringing the baby, and I
was so you and I just immediately grabbed this baby,
kissed this baby. I was like, oh, yeah, you're not
supposed to do that. I was just touch people's babies.
(12:59):
I mean, you hand if they're about to leave the
country for for who knows how long did If you
have a close relationship with someone, I think it's pretty
welcome for you to grab their baby. In most cases.
I had to play it cool at this baby shower
this weekend because the baby was only six days old,
and they were like debating whether they should even take
it out of the house. And I was like, okay,
(13:19):
I'm not going to try to touch your baby, but
I wanted to grab that baby. By all rights, I
should be able to hold the baby that's right in
front of me in a room, by all right. My
ovaries day, I couldn't grab that baby, please, that football
sized baby. It's like an animal instinct that I wanted
(13:40):
to go over and like smell its head. Like I
was really tempted to be like, I'm not going to
touch your baby, but if I could just get a
little sniff of the head, like I feel like, that's
the thing when you had When I had a baby,
people would say stuff like that, like ants and people
who are just like they wanted to come over and
do that, And it was like, yeah, I get it,
like you only over the years, he only get so
(14:02):
many run ins with a nice chunky baby, you know
what I mean in Brooklyn as soon as it's born
all the time. Yeah. So the other big thing happened today.
There's no school today tomorrow Rossashana, and which means I
(14:23):
was home with Britain all day today. But I had
to go in to do some work. It's Story Pirates.
We have a new office. It's really exciting. I figured
Brandon would be excited to go to Story Parts because
he's a Story Part fan, and uh boy, what a
treat it was. Brian was such a big kid. He
did a lot of walking through New York City. He
had as a little backpack full of full of transformers
(14:46):
and snacks, and you did not complain about anything the
entire day. Well, it's very exciting for him. It was.
I mean I took him in recently before it was
more walking, I had less videos on my iPad. He was.
He got tired quickly that day, but today he had
a little room with a couch and he loved it.
(15:07):
The key is unlimited iPad access. Gave the iPad in
the Netflix, and I forgot about him for a few hours.
So we got off the train. We drove to the
train station, took the Grand Central or the Metro North
into Grand Central, and then he started walking and realized
his pants were too big and they were falling down
(15:30):
and he was holding them up. And go, okay, we
need to go buy a twist, not a twist tie
hair tires or a rubber band or something to like
between his belt loops to send ship. And I go
in and boy, I did not expect to find belts
at the right aid. And I found a belt that
had notches for the whole length of the belt. There
(15:50):
were only adult belts, but there were notches for the
whole length of the belt. And so I bought this
belt and put it around Brin and it loops around
him almost two full times. Uh, and he could not
have been more excited to own a belt. He kept
going to the bathroom and it took him ten minutes
(16:10):
to take the belt off, but he would not accept
help because it was such a cool thing. I feel
like he felt like a real big kid. More and more,
he's just becoming a mini you. It's my boy, your boy. Yeah,
he's just like straight talking. He's like, you gotta get
(16:32):
married etern eighteen. Here's how it works. You're going to
find a wife. She's going to be beautiful, You're gonna
love her, You're gonna have a baby. Yeah. He still
doesn't he still doesn't understand the gap between because when
I've tell our story to him, I talked about falling
(16:54):
in love and getting married and when I brought all
our family and then we had babies, and so like
the gap between getting married and having a baby doesn't
exist to him. Yeah. Well that was one of the
things my sister was telling him where she was like,
you know, sometimes you can have a baby with someone
and not even be married. And it was just like
he was just like, no, this doesn't fit my narrative.
Like he very recently told him this exact same thing. Yeah,
(17:19):
I mean, he'll get it. Eventually he's a microcosm for
a certain portion of this world. He's still pretty vague
on like how the baby comes out, so it's not like, yeah, well,
well it was a good it was a good daddy
brand day. That's great. This next segment is called would
(17:53):
you Knows. It's where we present each other with parenting hypotheticals. Okay, Beth,
well we gotta, we gotta would you know? This week?
That really really breaks the mold. I'm just gonna read it.
It's lengthy, but boys, it's specific and comes with it
(18:15):
a lot of questions. Hey, Beth and Peter, I have
an eleventh month old baby girl and started listening to
you guys during the many many nights feeding and I
quickly caught up with all the episodes. Thank you for
posting a funny and bluntly honest show which has helped
me see a glimpse into the future once my daughter
grows from cute baby into tyrannical toddler. But anyway, onto
(18:38):
the scenario. You pick up Brin from school and in
the playground, he points out his new friend, who we
will call Daniel. As you spot the new kid, you
see him run towards an adult. An adult you recognize
as Graham. Graham is the friend who you met ten
years ago through mutual acquaint mutual acquaintances. He was the
(19:01):
guy everyone thought was the greatest. He was friendly, funny,
seemed like a decent guy. You became friends quickly, and
he is a frequent guest in your house. You couldn't
say a bad thing about Graham. But then everything dramatically changed.
It started with Graham house sitting while you were on holiday,
which he had done before without incident. You returned to
a clean home, but a woman you have never met
(19:23):
watching TV. Graham apparently told her it was okay to
stay while he was at work, and yes, he knew
that day and time you were due back. He knew
what day and time you were do back. This wasn't
something you discussed beforehand. But you are not happy that
Graham thought that leaving a stranger in your home was okay.
When you call and tell him politely but sternly, that
(19:46):
your friend uh that that you found his behavior inappropriate,
he doesn't apologize. In fact, he doesn't respond. He doesn't
even come back to the house to pick up his things.
You end up having to kick out the girlfriend when
it becomes clear he was into returning. After this incident,
you don't hear from Graham again, even though you had
tickets for concerts and shows, some of which he still
(20:09):
he was still to pay for. And as words spread,
more and more people start grumbling about Graham and how
he didn't turn up at a wedding, he owed somebody money, etcetera.
He become the main topic of parties, had more and
more people bond over how the same person screwed them.
Over over the years, however, your social group started to shift,
settle down, have kids. The parties became playdates, and eventually
(20:30):
Graham became a distant memory. And now you see Graham
less than ten feet away from you. Whilst you stare
in surprise slash shock, you can hear Bryan asking if
he can go to his new friend Daniel's house. As
Daniel and Graham start walking over, you can see he
doesn't seem to recognize you. But you know that face,
you know that voice. You know it's him flashing before
(20:52):
your eyes. You remember all the trouble he caused you,
the shortfall uh from tickets, he never paid you, the
random woman you found eating your peanut butter with a
spoon from the jar. That fact you had a suitcase
full of his crap in your spare room for a
year waiting for him to pick it up and eventually
threw it out. Now he is standing in front of you,
extending a hand to shake, and he says, Hi, I'm Matthew,
(21:16):
while smiling that smile. You would know anywhere you know
a d percent that this is your former friend who
has just given you a different name. What do you do? Thanks? Nicola. Wow.
First of all, that was very well written. It feels
like this very specifically happened to her. But I have
(21:39):
been debating this all week, something that clearly happened to her,
or she is a very good fiction writer. I feel
like parts of it are true for her. I mean,
obviously the thing which she says, let's call him Daniel,
it makes me think we're skipping over a real name. Yeah,
(22:00):
but there's two things this discuss. Did this happen? And
what would we do? I mean, the only part of
it that's less plausible as to whether it happened is
the fact that he has a new name. Like that
someone would go to that length because there's part of
our story where you're like, Okay, this guy was clearly
a mess. He sounds like maybe he's like it was
(22:23):
like an addict or going through like a mental health
episode or something like he was. Yeah, he could have
done something like everyone thought he was a big mess
at that phase in his life. So it's like it
could be something like that where he turns into a
normal person after he gets help or whatever. But the
name changed. But the name changed, it got way worse. Yeah,
(22:44):
either go way worse and he's really running from something
or witness protection or just starting like a fresh page
witness protection. He just drunkenly stumbled into witnessing a crime. Uh,
I don't know anyway, the red flag. This is how
(23:06):
I feel about a lot of people who have done
far worse crimes. Like sometimes when you when you know
people who have been so horrible to you at a
certain point in your life, no matter how much you've
moved on in the distance, you're never really going to
rekindle like a close relationship with that person, do you
know what I mean? Like it seems unlikely. Well see,
(23:32):
that's the thing is like if if you just ran
into him, you go, okay, great, I'll play along and
then I'll never see you again. But if suddenly it's
anyone to have a play date with Daniel, that's tough. Um.
I would brush it off. I would change the subject,
(23:53):
I would make small talk, and then I'd lie about
having to go, and then I would run away. Right.
That's a good thing about awkward parenting situations, as you
can always just claim to be like busy or exhausted,
or you're just like what, uh sorry, I gotta go.
Can I can I have Daniel over? Can I have
a million dollars? It's great to see you. We gotta
(24:14):
go to a skating lesson. Let's go, all right, I
mean our kids releases skating lessons. I feel like it
sounds like it's an excuse, but we usually genuinely are
busy all the time gating lessons. But I think that's
most people, and that's why I think it's a good excuse. Boy,
(24:35):
this is a nightmare scenario. Um for me. Yeah, really,
I want to know what happened to Graham slash Matthew.
That's that's that's the crazy part. But well, him just
going Hi, I'm Matthew, you know, oh great, Well he
has chosen to not get into this. So if I
(24:55):
don't say anything, we have agreed that we're never going
to acknowledge this thing. Yeah, it's almost like you'd prefer
to not acknowledge it and then rather than have to
talk it out with them. Well, the question is is
he lying to you or does he truly not recognize you?
Because if he's lying to you, then he doesn't want
(25:18):
to hang out either. Then you can just go, Okay, yeah,
maybe we'll talk sometime and then you leave and then
you know you're done. But the weird thing with he
to be like for him to follow up and just
to continue this facade, and it starts to feel like
a movie. It seems unlikely to me that he's lying
in just this one scenario, Like like if you're at
(25:39):
a playground where other people could be hanging out that
you mutually know, it would be weird for him to
just like one off say it's a different name for
I mean there, I guess there are people who would
do that. But oh, I mean I think this is
it's ten years later, right, But it seems like he
lives in your town. Um, like he lives in your community.
(26:03):
These are details. This is a very details email that
we got, but we still have some missing details. I'm
just saying, he's going to see you around like you're
both your hometown. I don't think he's gonna lie about
his name unless he's really dumb, which is possible. I
don't think he's going to just lie about his name.
It sounds like he makes the best choices. I do, Like,
(26:29):
you just need to know did this happen? I will
say it happen in my experience with like my friends
and some of the weird like funck boy men who
need to go to therapy situations they've dealt with, it
isn't unusual for them to lie in a way that
is like preposterously implausible and just you're like, what, like
(26:50):
you literally just contradicted yourself, Like my defense, I didn't
think about it till I was saying it. I could
see this guy being someone who's like, yeah, I said,
that's why, and because that's not my name. I you,
you have bad hearing, and everyone here talks about it
and they hate you, and you're hearing people like that
that have made insanely bad life decisions. And there are
(27:12):
people that there was zero forethought. It was just covering
for the current moment, and they're really fun interesting people.
Are they fun? Interesting? Yeah, there are people that live
in the moment and are like genuinely funny and smart.
But I just have no there's like a weird there's
a weird manipulation they're they're doing. That's not like it's
(27:37):
not a healthy way to exist in the person I'm
thinking of, Like his life is very very sad right now. Uh, well,
I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not going
to get into it. Um well, let's end on that
really depressing think. Well, it's clear what I would do,
which is avoid and runaway. That's my my mode is
(27:59):
so shually go. I'm not sure, so I'm going to
bail Yeah I don't. I mean, I will like not
constantly bail on people. But I do think when you're
getting a lot of red flags around people, it's okay
to like keep your distance and like see how things unfold.
You know, like you don't have to be someone's best
friend just because they're like demanding your attention, do you know,
(28:26):
Like yeah, I don't know. Yeah, well yeah, I mean,
but I think we've both gone both ways on that
with people in the past. Yeah, that's true. Um, that's true.
You never know, you never know. I'm more sandoffish. I'm
so scared that I just don't connect with anybody most
(28:47):
of the time, and so I don't fall into Can
I tell you something really completely unrelated to this, Yeah,
that's sort of this podcast. Well, speaking of being more
open to people, I feel like in the last few years,
ten years, I don't know, I've gotten much more comfortable
interacting with strangers in a casual basis on these streets. Uh,
(29:09):
as a white woman. Um. I. So, I was at
the liquor store in town, and I was they had
these like cans of gin and tonic, which so I
asked the guy about it, like I was like, are
these any good? Because I've had some mixed. Because this
liquor store it tends to be like a little more
(29:30):
curated than the other ones around here. Like they're like
if anytime I asked them a question, they're like, oh no,
we wouldn't stop crap, Like we care that we're giving
you things that taste good, you know, um and so,
And it's not it's not necessarily like everything there is expensive.
They'll have like bargain wines or whatever. But um asking
him about it, and he was like he's like, oh, yeah,
(29:51):
they're really good blah blah blah. And we do tastings
here in our speak easy in the basement of the
liquor store. And he was like from like seven to
nine on Thursdays and Fridays. And I was like, oh cool,
that sounds cool like and he was like, they have
like live music and stuff like that. I was like cool.
I like like a speakeasy vibe. I would check that out.
(30:12):
And so I was like, I guess I'll have to
get a babysitter. And then he pointed to the countertop
and was like, this woman down the street at the
like dance place is doing like dance and movement classes
from seven to nine while we do our tasting so
that parents can drop their kids off and come here
and drink in the basement for two hours. And I
(30:33):
was like, wow, these this is really like a perk
of the suburbs. It's like most suburbs night I've ever heard.
I'm really skeptical though, that our kids would be willing
to go out at seven pm on a Friday, just
in terms of their energy levels at that point in
the week. Oh yeah. I mean their bedtime is fast approaching.
(30:54):
It's like, it's really hard to say. It's I'd like
to see to Speak Easy before I commit to this.
I don't know if there's photos online, because it's a
Speak Easy it's crazy illegal. I always go in there
and there's one person standing mind the counter, and there's
another person standing mind table, and they're doing a wine tasting.
(31:16):
And here's what I like about the idea of a
speakeasy is that I don't really care too much about
the decoration or whatever, as long as if I'm in
a place at nighttime, they're keeping the lights dim so
that I don't feel insane. Yeah, and this is something
I'm increasingly realizing, is that I have an extreme sensitivity
(31:37):
to light at the night. At nighttime, oh at nighttime,
our apartment is a cave. Um anyway, that I guess
I think I already talked about them in the podcast anyway.
Um but so we gotta go to Speak Easy at
some point and drop kicks us somewhere until they are
insane and flipping out, and then we got to go
to a Speak Easy now in the basement of a
(31:59):
like store. Um So, Nicola, boy, this this email, UM
really got me. I think I just want to reiterate.
I think it's not irrational to just skirt around people
who seem like they might be a powder keg of issues,
(32:20):
Like you don't have to. There's people in my life
I know that would handle this very differently. There's friends
of mine who would just go, Matthew Graham, Graham, it's you,
it's me me, what's the deal? And I sort of
in sometimes I feel like you're referring to a very
(32:41):
specific person. I'm not gonna say. I'll let them decide
who I'm talking about. Um. And in some ways I
envy that that people can just say what they're thinking. Yeah,
but I'm just I'm not that person. Well, I feel
like the people who are more social and more like
(33:03):
interested in those kinds of interactions are just less sensitive
to other people's behavior in general, Like they just shrug
stuff off more easily than I am capable of. So
I like it's okay for them to have a large
social circle of like just random people, like they just
they're not they can yeah, they can like disengage or something.
I don't know. Um, but yeah, it's it's a lot.
(33:27):
It's too much energy. As I've gotten older, it's gotten worse,
more introverted. It's been so much energy. I don't even
know what it is, just thinking about how I'm coming across.
I feel like I'm more socialists I get older, because
I realized that it's not It's not about necessarily the
(33:49):
people I'm interacting with, like who they are. It's more
about the quantity of time I'm spending with people in
the course of a week. I like interacting with people
in spurts, and then I need to retreat and go
into a dimly lit room, you know what I mean. Yeah,
I think now that i'm thinking about it, I'm just
(34:10):
not interested in anything or anyone ever, And it's scary
and depressed for me. But you're so obsessed with me. Yeah, well,
you play so hard to get that. I it's tough
for me to get stick of you, because, yeah, I've
I've grown to appreciate how you interact with me, which
(34:32):
was not how I wanted to interact with you. It's
really bleak. I feel like our ven diagram is merging,
and every day I'm happier to be married to you.
On that backhanded sentiment, Wow, he sounds so happy. I
(34:55):
really am. It sounded the opposite, but I love you.
Can I say why into a segment? What does that mean? Sure?
Well we need to do we need to an ad
we do it all right? Oh boy, get ready? Best
about to interest something. We'll be right back. And now
(35:25):
it's time for did you knows? This is where we
share something we learned and Beth has something she has
not told me about. Okay, so I kind of maybe
told you a little bit, which is that I had
a phone reading with the psychic on Friday, this woman
who I follow on Instagram, and um, so I asked her.
(35:49):
She's like, do you have any other questions? And so
I was like, what about my husband and kids? I
guess that was like the end of well what about
my husband kids? Like towards the end of the reading,
after I got up the other questions. Um, And I
feel like maybe I saw this before, but I don't.
I feel like I don't ask when I speak to
(36:10):
psychic cause I don't ask them about stuff related to
you or the children because I'm not worried about it.
Like I'm just sort of like, well, our relationships are good,
Like I'm not like I know the issues that we're
navigating there. There's there's no mystery to them. Yeah, it's
just like I don't like, it's like they're you know,
(36:33):
um so. So then I couldn't think of anything else,
and I was like, yeah, surely tell me what's going
on with my husband kids, and so she told me
about our children, and she was like pretty apt um.
But she was saying, you know, like Maven's very sensitive
(36:54):
like me, which we've talked about before. And she said
something interesting about Brin, which is that she thinks he's
good with his hands, which is so funny because on
this podcast we talked about how he got poor marks
for scissors. Yeah, and he can't catch them all and
his hand eye coordination is yeah. So I was like,
(37:15):
that's actually shocking to know. But um or incorrect. That
was the one thing she said this out. I'm trying
to remember everything else she said. But she was like
she was talking about how Maven's very sensitive and he's
more like practical, like business minded, which I think is
very funny of like his like tone, Yeah, well he's
(37:38):
he's he likes to explain things. Yeah. Well, Beths just
turned on her phone and it lit up the room
like a Marvel movie Blue Laser and sorry, Okay, so
I wanted to look at my notes that I took,
so she oh, she said he gets bored easily, which
I think is very true, and like I feel like
(38:00):
he sometimes he has issues at daycare and now at
kindergarten where I feel like he is just kind of
bored at certain points in the day when they're just
like like after school, he's just like hanging out. And
I always feel like an asshole parent to bring this
up to be like, how what can we do to
make his time after school more interesting? Because it sounds
(38:21):
like our boy is so smart, he's above this. Yeah, well,
because one of the issues he's having after school is
that they told me he was pushing people and they
were and the woman there, who is like twenty something,
she was like, what worries me is that he pushes
people out of the blue for no reason. And I
was like, I really do feel like he's bored. He's
(38:44):
like little me on the play like he's just like
I don't know. Well, because we were as it was
a call back to earlier when I was talking about
pushing kids on the playground, right right right, already forgot
but I do like that was not me. I don't
want to sound like the parent who's like, no, my
kids just violent because it's your fault. Like I know
(39:05):
that sounds insane, but I do think he does well
during the school day when it's structured and he's learning
and like it's very simulating, and then after school I
think he's just kind of like what's going on here?
Like I think he literally just gets tired at four
thirty every single day. That's also possible if that happened today.
(39:26):
He was perfect all day long untill four thirty, and
he's like, I'm hungry, I'm gonna push my sister. Yeah,
he didn't push her, but he'd like just like grab
things from her just to be a little right. Well,
I think what I wanted to just called burn a
little bastard, and uh, I just I didn't like that.
So what I brought up to the people at after
(39:46):
school is I was like, can he bring toys and stuff?
Because he's there for a long time and like it
doesn't seem like they have like a ton of stuff
going on, like I don't know, um, and so I
was like, can you bring like toys? And then I
ran into our neighbor whose son is also there and
it's the same age, and she was like, oh, we
should buy them like workbooks because there's a part of
the day after school where the older kids all do
(40:08):
their homework and then the little kids who don't have
homework or just like sitting around. And I think if
we gave them like pretend work where they felt like
they had to like sit there and do this together,
because what is the kid who would actually like that? Yeah,
And I think our neighbor son across the hall is
(40:28):
also like, they're both just nerdy little boys. Yeah, so
I think this would be a good thing for them
to like bond over and like feel tough, like they're like,
we got to do our work. Um. So yeah, I
think we need to order something. I'm down. Um so
(40:48):
what did the psychics say about me? Oh? Okay, so
this is what I think. Why I brought it up
because I think it's going to feel validating for you.
Is she weirdly? You know, it's you know, I'm not
into this stuff, but I'm but I'm more open and
less judgmental than I've ever been about it. I feel, um,
but the second you said I asked her about you.
(41:11):
I realized that's the first time I've ever heard that,
and I felt myself get real defensive. So she said
that the one thing she said about you pretty much well, no,
she said nice things too, but she said, you're stressed
about finances. Not at the moment historically I do. I
(41:34):
don't know. I feel like that's I don't know. Well
that's what she said, and then I mean, I'm capable
of that at any moment. I mean, like what the
gist of what I kind of expressed to her My
question was just like I don't like. I was like,
I feel like there's been some tensions between us recently,
but not like you know, maybe like a pretty normal
level for parents, like parents and uh and in so
(41:58):
many words, I said that, and she said he's stressed
about finances, and I was like, hmm, that makes sense
for him. Um. But then she was like, but I
really don't see anything big and like she was like,
you're she was like, he's She's like, I see this
as a solid relationship. He's a great dad. And I
(42:19):
was like, yeah, okay, she could stay. Although I will
say he's stressed about finances is the safest thing you
could get me, just brush it off and don't access
your emotions. I'm just particularly happy about our finances right now,
(42:40):
which is okay good. But I like her because she
made me sound good and that's really all I care
about in the world. To a fault. Yeah, and she
here's the thing she said about Maven that like it
took me a while to connect with us. And then
I was like, oh my god, she's right. So she
was saying Maven was really sensitive and like picking up
on everyone's energy, like and then she said she was like,
(43:02):
does she get kind of like manic? And I was
like what And I was like, no, we think of
her brother is more that way. And then it didn't
think it until after I got off the phone with her,
I was like, oh my god, maybe has been doing
this thing where whenever we're around a lot of people
for like an extended period of like hours on end,
she starts to go kind of like insane, do you
(43:25):
know what I mean? Like she's like the most shy
person when we get to a party, but then by
the end of the night, she's like jumping off the walls,
you know, Like that's like you, I mean, you're so reserved.
I mean people take a lot out of us. This
is when we were younger and would go out and drink.
There was a certain amount, like you would hit a
certain drink threshold and you're just like, okay, I'm going
(43:51):
and it was like very rare. You would see that Beth, um,
and you knew, like, boy, you're gonna hear a thing
from Beth we've never heard, and she's definitely going to
throw up later. I've met this back four times in
my life. I have not thrown up in a long time. No, no,
I say, this is literally probably having four times since
I've known you. That's exciting and scary. This is why
(44:14):
I can't drink. I really I can't drink like that
because I really really hate throwing up so much. And
when you threw up out of the window of that cab,
h and then he tried the cab driver tried to
hold me hostage in the cab while you went to
get a bucket of water. I handled that well, you did.
It's still interesting that, um, someone thinks your body is
(44:36):
a pawn in their game of trying to keep in
his defense in his defense like he We later found
out because we got there and you puked out the
window while we were on the Brooklyn Bridge on the
outside of the car, and like, there's no way he
could have pulled over. And so I told him. I
was like, I will take care of this. Drive us home,
I will take care of it. I will pay for this.
(44:57):
We got there and I go, I'm gonna run upstairs
and get some water and some soap and I'm gonna
wash the outside of your cab. And he goes, she
stays here like, yeah, he tried to hold me hostage,
and I said, no, she's coming up with me. And
I go here and I gave him my phone and
I said, you can hold this hostage. And he was
surprised by that, and he let me go. He was like,
(45:17):
actually this is better. It's more value. Cool. Honestly, it's
easier to sell a phone than a woman. Uh that
that was a creepy thing to say. Um. But when
I came back and I was doing it, and he was,
it's fine, you and every other man has thought about it,
you know, just enslaving a woman cool, alright, moving on,
(45:39):
It's not gonna yell at me, all right. Um. But
as I was almost done, he realized, oh, this might
actually turn out okay for me. He told me that
somebody had puked in his cab last week and like
just left and so he had to go get this clean.
And I was like, oh, that is so stressful that
that happened to of course you were no, I get
(46:02):
I get why it's stressful. We could care of it.
I gave him a real big tip, and at the
very end, like the last second, he was like thank you,
and then like suddenly he was positive the last moment um, Uh,
you know. I just got in an argument with the
New York City cab driver last week that really stuck
(46:25):
with me. I he was telling he was talking to
me about like the u N going on, and then
he was telling me about like rich people in New
York City and he was like, you know what brings
in the most money above all the baseball games and
all the everything. He was like, the US Open because
the the rich people come in from out of town
(46:48):
and they like to stay for a whole month and
they spent all this money. And I was like, oh interesting.
And then throughout our conversation, I kept trying to be like, yeah,
well that's why we have to tax the rich more
because he's like complaining about the road and everything. And
I was like, and he kept he like refused to
agree with me for the whole car. I like, no
matter what I would say, He's like, well, the rich people,
(47:09):
they do make jobs, and we need people need those jobs,
so I can see why they would blubble. And I
was like, right, but we need to tax the rich more.
And he was he like, just where every time he
said a whole long thing, you ag, yeah, but we
got to tax the rich more. Well he was. He
literally was telling me about how he has this friend
who's really rich who has an apartment in New York
(47:31):
and when he comes into New York, he actually stays
at a hotel because he doesn't like to make his
own coffee in the morning at the apartment, but his
wife stays at the apartment sometimes. And I was like,
this is like a huge pet peeve I have about
New York City is I'm like, there are like foreign
billionaires with like apartments that they don't live in and
never never see, and then there's all these people with
(47:53):
no housing, and I'm like, there has to be a
way to tax those people higher. Who they're talking about
right now, Yeah, it's primary. So that's so there's like
a huge peppo of mine and like it's like why
we have to tax the riches. I'm like, they have
all these resources that they're not using. We could take
a little bit of money so that the people can
have roads that aren't falling apart. And anyway, this taxi
(48:15):
driver was just like, crazy girl doesn't understand. Well, you
know what that sounds like a more uh, I was
gonna say productive. It sounds like a real, real debate
you were having, which is better than most discourse these days.
So good for you both, even if you didn't change
(48:36):
his mind. Yeah, this has been did you know, well,
this has been another episode? We know it's parenting. If
you would like to reach out, tell us a story,
give us some advice, ask for our advice. Sent so
would you know scenario? Email us that we know spot
(48:59):
at gmail dot calm or leave us a voicemail at
three four seven three eight four seven three nine six.
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, all your favorites. Should
we start a TikTok? Also? What's the TikTok? Oh? It's
something the kids have known about for like eight millennia,
but I know it basically only by name. I know
(49:20):
it's a thing, I know it's huge, but it's huge. Alright, alright,
please right in? Should we start a tik tell us
if we should start a TikTok and explain what it is. Boy,
Until next time, my