October 16, 2018 • 52 mins
This week, while Beth is out of town, Peter celebrates his birthday by staying home with a vomiting Maeven. Bryn has his first play date without his parents and is later praised for his bilingual skills. Beth unpacks a Would You Knows scenario about discovering something scandalous in a teenaged Maeven’s diary. Peter and Beth answer some listener mail about a toddler’s preference for mom over dad. And Finally, Bryn creates the perfect joke... about butts.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm off the deep watch us that I haven't seen
the movie. Hello, Welcome to We Knows Parenting. I'm Beth Newell.
(00:22):
I'm Peter McNerney. We are two parents, comedians, real life parents,
if we have kids, definitely human. The show is about parenting.
It's about to begin. It began, it's been gone already.
So okay, Peter, we can review. First of all, you
wanted to talk about last week's episode. Yeah, the controversy
(00:43):
of the season. Beth. It's just the most Beth thing
that's ever happened. Is we got in that email criticizing me.
That's the most best thing that's ever happened. No, no, no,
not is they just not telling me, just doing it,
even when I was asking, like I'm going to do it.
It's great, not shocking, It's it's entirely predictable. Um. I
(01:10):
it was vulnerable in that podcast, and I put myself
out there and I feel just I feel just great
about it. I like how used that in the podcast that, um,
you were just going to leave that email b and
never bring it up on the podcast, which I think
is funny. Um. I said, I was considering that I
had not come, I had not made a choice about it. Um.
(01:31):
Oh gosh, now I remember where the episode is about.
I guess I gotta not talk so much in this episode.
Not likely to change dramatically, but I'm working on it anyway.
This week, it was your turn to be out of
town and might turn to be home alone with the children.
(01:52):
And you mentioned in your episode when I was gone
that it was a miracle that no one got sick,
because it always happens I go away and let me
gets sick. Well, they were waiting for you to leave
town so they could get sick with me. And on
my birthday October eleven, uh, may even gave me the gifts,
the gift of vomit at daycare. Yeah, I mean that's life, right, Yeah,
(02:20):
you know what. It was fine, that's Naven for you.
This more tonight, she came in the bedroom and said,
I throw it up on the couch, and she had
the big smile on her face, just a little tiny
that I think there's just eating too much ice cream. Yeah,
although we never assume that she's actually sick, even when
she's clearly sick. Well, she hasn't had a favorite for
(02:42):
two days, so I know she's fine. Um, it was
actually a nice gift, because it is difficult to figure
out childcare when you're not here, because the things that
I do are all outside of daycare hours. It's a schedule.
No humans should have nights and weekends, and we have
childcare for week days. So I had its whole plan
(03:06):
where I was going to go into the city to
like do all this stuff I needed to do, and
I was recording the story parts podcast, and then I
had to get on the train an hour and a
half back just to pick them up from daycare, to
then take them home, and then wait ten minutes for
one of the women from daycare to get done at
work at daycare and come to our house to watch
our child so I can get back on the train
and go back from the city and teach a class.
(03:28):
And maybe this is all on my birthday, you know,
fun birthday celebration, And maybe gave me the great gift
of being forced to cancel everything that day, which you
could have canceled in the first place. This is just
she knows better than you know. Yeah, I felt too guilty,
but as soon as she was sick, I didn't feel guilty.
I pulled that My daughter threw upcard as soon as
I can think about canceling those that you know, we
(03:50):
all feel self important, like really ruining people's eyes by canceling.
But then they're always fine. They're fine. I mean, we're
not as important as we think we are. Well, it's
teaching your class, and I already already skipped Did you
hear how midwestern I said on my class and needs me? Um,
I already skipped a class. And I don't want to
(04:11):
be that teacher. I take my job very seriously, the
teacher that people miss. Yeah, sometimes, do you miss me
right in? Are you my student? Right in? Tell me
how much you missed me? Or don't? Yeah, right in
and tell you how much? Tell Peter how much you
missed this voice? Because I don't talk enough in that class. Okay,
(04:31):
So then it sounds like other than that, things were
pretty uneventful. I came back into town on the right eye,
was exhausted. Um, what do we do Saturday? You left,
and then it was just a fog of laying around recovering.
You had two full days of laying around because I
went in earlier than I normally do, full days of
(04:52):
laying around. Um, Although we have while watching children full
time it's not hard anymore. Okay, it's time and you
can do it. I can say you did it while
they were at daycare. It sounds like on the weekends.
And I'm not going to fight you on it. I
(05:12):
will amend my statement. It's not hard. It's not hard,
but it is like it sounds like you want to
do it. It's like a drag and I get restless
when I have to be home all day with the
kids because I just thought it was easy, Breezy. I mean,
it's literally around. It is literally not difficult to do. Literally.
I think every listener who has children would beg to
(05:36):
differ people. Please right, and if you disagree that parenting
is easy, an easy thing to do all day, okay, um,
let me finish it is easy relative to every single
other day. If any we have had kids in there,
and now that they're two and a half, if anyone
listening has a two and a half and a four
year old and wants to agree or disagree on whether
(05:59):
that's a frill, I think you said it was no
work whatsoever. I did not say that, Okay, I said
it technically it's easy, but it's annoying. Okay, I didn't
say that, but I'm saying it now. So Sunday, Brand
was supposed to go to the birthday party of his
best friend's mom, and then we all were. We all were,
(06:20):
but it was a it was a dicey thing you
signed me up for. It was basically like you walk
in the door with us, and then you piece out
and go to work. Well, I have to watch two
kids at a birthday party. Well, I made it very
clear what it was before I said yes, so you
could say yes. So I have no regrets there. Relax.
So then the baby the birthday party got pushed back
(06:44):
into maven snap time. She was already getting over being sick.
It seemed kind of dicier. I decided to call it
off because I was still very tired for my trip.
And the dad, the dad of this um of Brand's
best friend, asked Brin's favorite daddy from that episode. His
favorite daddy asked if he could come pick burn up
(07:05):
and bring him to the party himself, which is very
very generous, and we agreed to it, which was great.
And then, um, maybe when stay at Home didn't napp
the report I got was that Bryn was very well
behaved at the party and people were commenting on it,
supposedly how good he was, so I'm very happy with that,
but I offer I got there and I felt very
(07:27):
guilty about them taking care of an additional child while
they're already planning and running a party. So I offered
to take their son for the rest of the night
so that they could probably have sex. Oh no, I
hope they're not listening. I mean, I can't confirm for
sure that that's what they were doing, but it seems,
(07:49):
I mean, that's what we would be doing, cleaning up.
We're like, we could clean up this party, or we
could do it. This is the most graphic moment of
our entire party. You seem to like start to try
to get and then you're just like, we would have sex. Um,
we would have We're so having me too, like me too.
(08:12):
Like Anyway, I can't say for sure. Maybe they just
had a wholesome two hours at home, but they cleaned
up the party. I felt really up. It really made
my guilt feel better about them watching brand during their party,
And um, I hope they had a good birthday. I'm
a big deal. This is Brent's first play date without us.
(08:35):
It's true, but there was a whole party full of people.
They're so sure, but we weren't there. Yeah, but it
makes me think we need to trade kids with them
more often. I don't. It's annoying that we have two
kids and it's like not a good trade. But I
think even if we can just get rid of brand,
sometimes it's still worth it. Oh, it's a great deal
for everyone, for everyone. Yeah. I mean, when those two
(08:56):
kids are together, they are I mean, they fight a
little bit, but they're so happy to be around each other.
They're like, we're best friends, arms around each other's next,
there's fun. I have to say, is better behaved than
our son. He likes to follow rules and listen more.
And yeah, but I think he's also just like a
less combative person, and our kids behave better when he's around,
(09:19):
and he tries to talk Bran into being better. And
and when he was over here, Maven saw him say
he had to go potty, and then she was like,
I gotta go potty too, which is not something she does.
So then I got her potty out and while he
was on the toilet, she pee in the potty, which
again she never really does. She's done it before, but
(09:40):
not often. So he's a really good influence. Um maven
showing off her PP skills. Is she in love with him? At?
He's definitely like the cool older boy. Sure, yeah, I
know had a piano potty. Um what are your parents
(10:01):
doing right now? Having sex? Uh? Cool? Cool? I'm pee
and you can tell because I'm doing it in front
of you right now. Cool. What did you just go poopy? Poops?
Are just peep? Just peep? Cool? Actually I wiped his butt,
as you do when kids poop, and he told me
that his dad likes to wipe his butt, which I
don't know if that's a direct quote, but my dad
(10:23):
likes to wipe my butt. You think Brandon may even
think that we like doing all the things that we
do for them. That's what I was warning. If he
was just saying that, like because his dad does it,
he assumes his dad's really into that. His dad's like,
are you doing pooping? Don't move here? I come, I'm
wiping that bum bump. But I wouldn't put it past
his dad, who's a really the most enthusiastic man, really
(10:44):
funny guy, has a really dry sense of humored. To
just tell him that that's something he likes to do it. Um,
there's ire was a couple of just other little things
I wanted to mention. Brent said something this week that um,
Bryn says hilarious thinks all week and I'm like, I
gotta talk about on the podcast. And it's one once
in a month that I'll remember one thing so hard
(11:06):
to remember. Um. But when I was gone, we took
them again to Smash Burger. As you know, it's the
unofficial sponsor of this podcast, because that's we mentioned it
every other episode, the most child friendly eater gree in
there you go. Um. So we go afterwards to the
local frozen yogurt place Cherry Tree, brand's favorite place on Earth.
(11:28):
So we pulled up and I surprised it, like bringing
you over going? He's like where. I'm like, we're going
to Cherry Tree and he went, oh, Cherry Tree makes
my heart thump. It's like what he's Yeah, he's been
on role this week. He also tonight we took them
for ice cream after dinner, and uh, they're making jokes
(11:51):
about flavors of ice cream, like stinky feet ice cream
and different things, and then he said, how about crack
ice cream? We go what he goes, what about crack
ice cream? It was later explained to us that there
was some sort of crack. He cracked his ice cream,
cracked his ice cream cone or his ice cream, and
(12:12):
then he licked it and he goes, I fixed the
crack in my ice cream. But boy, hilarity ensued and
the last thing we should talk about. I also want
to add when we were about to go to get
ice cream, I asked me even if she wanted to treat,
and she goes candy, and then she sang, and she
went candy, candy, candy, and then she would giggle really hysterically.
(12:35):
And that's my daughter. She she had a bit of
a sugar high and then a bit of a crash.
We just had a bedtime. So we're recording this episode.
I don't even know if that's a crash. I think
that's just a two year old. It's a combo of things.
But we're releasing this episode eleven hours and we're doing
this late night because beths out of town and we
(12:56):
had really good bedtimes all week, and as always, the routine,
it's changed. You are here and I'm trying to put
them to bed, and she freaked out and I got
her calm. We read books and then putting the crib,
and boy, she just had a tantrum that I gotta say, Beth,
I'm really proud of you for not giving in, because
(13:16):
I was like, I gotta gotta draw a line here
because she slept in our bed last night and that's
part of why she was freaking out. Action can get
out of there. Okay, you're you're being dramatic. She was
very sick last night. She couldn't sleep because her nose
was congested and kept waking up, so she was very upset.
And I was putting on her our bed, keeping her
on an elevated pillow situation that was helping a drain
(13:37):
out of her head. And you were acting like she's
being dramatic, but she's very sick. I disagree because while
she was in bed with us, she didn't cry, but
she did just explained why we'll give her another pillow
in there. I think if we had. I went and
put her in there and I elevated the pillow, and
(13:58):
then she immediately started crying. When I tried to butt
her death let her cry for a while, she would
have through it. She was sick and we were both sick.
I was trying to sleep. I think we got less
sleep because of it. But I think I think I
love you more. I think the least amount of sleep
we got was when you just randomly tried to force
(14:20):
her to go back in her room in the middle
of the night and she started screaming hysterically. I was like, Oh, Beth,
is going to think that that would run New York
divert or classics laying down discipline at inappropriate times. Oh God,
look at this odd couple that's us. Now it's time
(14:40):
for we knows what they're watching. This is where we
talk about our children's current pop culture or media obsessions interests. Beth,
you've requested this UM segment. You've got something to say. Yeah,
so Um. As usual, our kids have gotten into some
(15:02):
Spanish YouTube that I guess they're being shown at daycare,
and their new obsession is the like a music video
sort of thing on YouTube to this song called damatokosita
m Can you sing the song for us a little?
(15:25):
I UM? And so it's like a video of like
an alien guy on like an empty alien plane. You'll
you might want to edit it in here to give
it do it justice? But they um, it's like, oh,
so it's like this alien guy dancing like very suggestively,
(15:45):
like humping the air, and he like bends his body
in really funny ways and maybe and burn crack up
and maybe keeps being like he's naked. He's naked. So then,
just before we started recording this, I looked up what
the meaning of domatucosita is and uh it is. The
(16:06):
English title is give me your thingy. So it's like
I think it's a new remix of an older song.
But I guess it's like it must be like a
viral kids like kid video. There are a lot of
videos of uh it's clearly some sort of like uh
not mo capped, but like the style of dancing is
(16:29):
hilarious when you put it on animated characters and character
and other condo. This might be like the official video.
I don't know the dance funny dancing alien video Spanish anyway,
I thise, I just think it's very funny and um.
In addition to all the practical reasons, I am excited
(16:51):
that our kids are sort of starting to learn Spanish.
Is just then inside jokes, the jokes will be in
on I think are really point, so Brin is really
the Spanish is coming along and it's we're seeing a
little bit more than we normally do. Yeah, tonight was
the first time I was able to have a real
conversation with him because I was sort of talking to
(17:11):
him in the little bit of Spanish that I know
and asking him questions and I would get to a
word because Maybe was talking to me in English about
pepper Pig toys and she was like, where are my shoes?
So then I was trying to talk to Brin and
said donde esta uh, and then I was like, what's
the word? What are his shoes? And he was like
a patos. So it was that's the first time he's
(17:34):
really like responded because we had a couple of exchanges
like that where he knew the answer and he was
like tortuga, like he he's starting to sort of like
comprehend the what the language is a little more. I think. Yeah,
I also got Spanish English songs going at pre K
now because he just sang his days of the Week
song Domingo Martes hawai'rnes that's from Yeah, well they do
(18:02):
because he sings this song in English like the days
of the Week Monday, Sunday, Monday Tuesday, and then he
does a whole thing in Spanish and he does sign
language with each day. The sign language is very impressive.
I mean it's clearly. At our pre k night they
talked about there literally do a lot of songs and
stuff like that, um and it's effective. So the head
of daycare um who uh speaks Spanish, mentioned said that
(18:28):
apparently there's a dual language program at one of the
local elementary schools and she's like, Bryn is a perfect candidate,
Like he's great, and she said it like she just
had this idea and he must do this thing. I mean,
you're taking this like a very flatteringly. But I think
part of her motivation is maybe like if she's going
to put her son in the Spanish English program, she
(18:50):
wants some kids there who also speak English. Well maybe
you know that's I am very susceptible to flash. I
don't know, it sounds interesting. We need to look into
it more, because this week I also heard from a
friend of a friend who is from this town that
his current elementary school is the best elementary school in
town and the most diverse. So I don't well, we
(19:12):
have to like find out more about these programs. Well,
I do know, I've looked. When we first moved here,
are looking at the part of the reason I liked
here is is that school goes through now is more
highly rated. Whatever that means. Do you mean they're both great?
But I mean I I think you can't really put
a value on someone understanding Spanish at a young age. Yeah.
Well that's the thing. It's like we've talked about this
(19:34):
a lot on this podcast, where we want to expose
brand to a diverse population people to get to know
people they're different from him. Um, And if one school
is in general more diverse, great cool. But if he's
doing a dual language program, that also hits another article
we talked about, which is by lingual kids learn empathy?
(19:57):
Uh quicker? So which one? Yeah, that's a tough called
to make, which is probably you feel like we need
more information, Yeah, but probably end up being the school
that's closest to us, if we're going to be honest,
I mean, yeah, that's very possible, but it was flattering.
It's also like, where is the place he's most likely
to be able to get after school care? Um, so
(20:17):
that we don't have to see him during a week. Gosh,
I just don't want to see him until he has
an apartment and he's visiting us with food. It's just
nicer when he misses you. He's been giving us a
lot of hugs lately. Um, you know, uh fun. I'll
(20:38):
talk about this later. Oh you're all wondering what I
was gonna say. It's gonna be so good. We're gonna
talk about another episode and I won't reference that. It's
the thing that I was thinking of now, So there
you go. You don't have to add it. All of
this happen. There's just the big screen to the listeners.
This is the most boring thing you've got. Oh, let
me keep going about a vague thing that no details
(21:00):
I've given. I will say one quick thing about media consumption.
So I've deleted the YouTube at because I think it
drives them insane and I think it's mindless content. And
I've read a lot of articles blah blah blah blah. Um.
So I pushed him too longer form content because he
invests and thinks about it for a long time. It's
not just next, next, next, but Amazon. Amazon is terrible.
(21:23):
It's just like they're like the store. You can just
sell any crap on there, and all these like shapes
videos and that this is another like old man McNerney rant,
I am, yeah, Well the point of the story is
not anyway. There's too many videos, not less videos that
(21:45):
I have so many articles backing me up about how
bad only e walks. You know what, that's the article
I'm gonna write. Everyone's only allowed to watch The Ewalk Adventure,
the best not good movie that I remember I was for.
But I deleted Amazon Prime while you were away, and
boy guess what it took brin twenty minutes to figure
(22:08):
out how to go to the app store, find Amazon Prime,
re downloaded, and get back to the show. Really impressive.
And I'm like, I gotta password protect this, and I
thought I did it, and somehow he did it again.
You know, when our kids are sneaky, obviously there's a
part of me that's annoyed. But then there's a part
of me that's just like proud. Yep, that's me. They're
(22:31):
so sneaky, they're just coming. I mean, he's like sneaky,
but he's those performative sneaky. Literally walked by the door
like tiptoeing like atently scheming. I don't did I talk
about the cake tasting on the on the podcast yet? Um.
They offered me birthday cake to take home from the
birthday party and I was like, no, no, we can't
(22:53):
have any sugar any more sugar stuff in our house
because I have to go to great lengths to hide it.
And I said, like a month ago, Brin came in
the bedroom when I was like folding laundry or something,
and he was like, Mommy, I'm doing a cake tasting.
And I was like, okay, he's pretending he's doing cake tasting.
And I came out and he had taken a huge
chunk of his birthday cake out of the freezer from
(23:14):
the month before, and he had it in front of
the TV. He was just eating frozen birthday cake like
a huge honk. He ate so much, it's amazing. He
called it a cake take. I don't know where he
came up with and I don't know where he heard
cake tasting. Well, that's all those wedding shows that he watches.
One thing I also want to add into we knows
(23:36):
what they're watching is that Maven has been watching that
New dance show on Netflix hosted by Melissa Edwards. Yeah,
and as usual, Like she's like Maven's like entrance by
like almost nudity or any butt type stuff, and there's
like stuff, you know, there's just like, uh, the these
(24:00):
guys and like booty shorts, like shaking their butts at
parties and stuff, and and but her new way of reacting,
she's like, that's disgusting. That's disgusting. They love disgusting so
much right now they love Oh my god. Oh yeah,
she was doing something too this weekend. I came and
she was like, God, oh my god. I don't know
(24:24):
where that comes from. I've removed that phrase since working
in schools. Uh, some people don't like that, so I've
removed that from my vocabulary. And they started saying it.
I'm like, oh, you can't say that, and I'm like
it sounds like they're all saying to take care all day.
So I don't feel I mean, I grew up saying
that every second. I mean, it's so funny when they
say it. It's hard to want to discourage it. It's
(24:46):
so dramatic. Oh my god, oh my god. Amazon Prime
is gone again. Oh my god, oh my god. I
need to do another cake tasting, so that's he knows
what they're watching. This next second is called wood he knows.
(25:12):
This is where we posit hypothetical parenting challenges to each
other and ask what we would do. Peter, bet, I
have one for you. I'm excited about it. Okay. In
this scenario, Maven, your daughter is older. She's let's say
a tween. Okay, she's in seventh grade, so she's twelve thirteen,
(25:34):
and um, you go and she's at school. You go
into a room you're cleaning up or whatever, and you
discover in her drawer a journal that you didn't know
she kept. And then mischievous, sneaky part of you has
to read this journal. You know that it's a betrayal
(25:55):
of trust and that you shouldn't, but come on, she's
never going to find out. You're just gonna read it.
So you start reading it and it's appropriately funny and dramatic,
as like a you know, uh, preteen girl's diary maybe um,
and then you get to a page where you discover
(26:17):
that she has a big plan and she has this
big idea for like some special week at school where
she's going to do this big prank. What is this
with me in an assembly. The year is in the assembly,
(26:38):
I should have written this whole thing out. But in
the assembly, she's decided that she's going to surprise everyone
and come out on stage, maybe like wearing some sort
of costumes. This does anything like mee no, but it's
gonna be a big It's a bit and she's convinced
that it's a great joke in the bit where she's
suddenly has taken on you and or Bryan's personality. Your
(26:59):
focusing on the wrong details here. So it's some sort
of bit where she's like, this is great, but you
read it through and you just you know that it's
going to be a disaster, that it will scar her
for life because it's not funny. But you understand why
she thought it would be in your comedian and you
would know. And it's is going to she's going way
(27:22):
out on a limb because this is not like her
at all. I don't think you're talking about Brandon, not
ma This is what's so weird about it is Maven's
taking a big risk doing this and you know that
it's going to be a disaster and she's gonna retreat
and she's going to be not confident. I mean, the
thing is that I'm knowing that it's Maven. I know
she'll never actually pull the trigger and do this. She
was probably just doing it as a writing exercise of
(27:44):
a hypothetical. Here, this is you again. Every time I
give you these hypotheticals, you just argue the basic premise
where you're like, every time the aliens came, You're like,
why would I believe these aliens not important? You believe
just reacting to the question. I'm still reacting to this reality.
(28:04):
And that's fair. So you have in this world. Mayven
is still my daughter, She still is the same person. Correct. Yeah,
and this is a surprising thing, but it seems too
weird to be a hypothetical. The rest of it is
honest and true, and so you really think she's going
to do this. It's honest and true. So do you
(28:28):
save her from embarrassment while also admitting to her you
have read her? Maybe? And I know if she's really
going to do this, she's really going to do this,
and she's going to prepare, and I just trust her
in that, Like, I think this is like getting out
of her shell if she actually does it, which I
don't think she will. It will be a good exercise
(28:50):
for her in challenging herself. So even if it goes poorly,
she will have learned the really innocuous consequences of having
the go poorly on stage. Oh so you're gonna let
her just take the take the social bullet on this one.
(29:11):
And now she's the weird though this gets talked about
for the rest she's the weird. I really should have
written what the thing was? Okay, same question. It's Brent. Okay,
so Brent. You read Brent's diary and he's got a
big thing that's funny. I still think it's just going
to roll right off this back. I'm not worried about him.
M hm. Boy like, teachers will never look at him
(29:35):
the same, they'll never respect You're only going to know
him for another half a year. What was happening? Are
were switching schools at the end of the year. Teachers,
you don't have the same teacher for more than a year.
Have you been to school before? Yeah, we in high school.
We had the same homeroom teacher for four years. I mean, okay, fine, homework.
(29:56):
His home room teacher is gonna laugh when she sees
him walk in. Boy, you're really undercutting the stakes of
my premise here. All right, I'm gonna adjust it. Okay,
you read my diary and I okay, here's it as
you read my diary because you yes, and I also
have a big plan to do this thing at work.
(30:18):
But I don't realize that there is uh some like
there's some terrible stereotypes and misogyny in this that I'm
just every week when you jump on stage without a
plan in this scenario, I have a plan, okay, which
(30:39):
is what worries you? Right, I don't know, Okay, so
what Okay, here's a new question. You read Maven's diary.
What would you have to read in there for you
to confront maybe about it in a way that would
reveal that you have read her diary. I mean, I
(31:00):
don't know if she's planning like nudity or something. Okay,
that's it. This guy turned into a serious one. She's
a little older, she's fifteen, and she's planning to do
like video naked stuff with somebody duff facetiming. There's gonna
be new technology then what you could do like uh,
(31:23):
hologram naked time with you know what videos are? Right?
This is the future, there's hologram videos. I think this
is something you actually do have to get ahead of
with your kids. Maybe at some point if they're getting phones.
It's just remind them that things can exist forever. Now.
(31:43):
I'm not like as concerned about this as other people,
because I think, um, people are very alarmoust about the
what do you call digital trail that we leave? But um,
I do you think with your girl a certain age
they need to know about, um, what is it? There's
(32:05):
like a term for this when boys like sort of
blackmail nuts and stuff like. So many listeners are screaming
it at us right now now. Um uh, blackmail some
sort of scam boys do to get needs out of
girls and then share them around because the photos and
videos can be revenge revenge revenge. Yeah, I guess that
(32:28):
falls under revenge point. But anyway, I think that that
is something you kind of have to tell kids about
these days because it's that stuff can get around very quickly. Boy,
this bit got real fun. We should talk about that
in another time so you would never almost every way
to hear the listener email we're gonna get from people
who are like, my kid did get revenge porn? And
(32:52):
these are they're gonna school us and be like, you're
taking this way too lightly. I'm terrified of check allergy
in the hands of I'm thinking about myself. I didn't
get my first smartphone until I was an adult. What
would I have done with that in middle school? High school?
(33:14):
Um also just a backpen a little bit. What is
this assembly where they just let kids come on stage
and do whatever? That was a lot a lot of
my assemblies made. Oh yeah, you were like free form
rich kids. Yeah. I got to make a lot of
announcements because I was president of Forum. They were like
share your self esteem today, And every time they make announcement,
(33:35):
I do a bit. And I got in trouble one
time because for a blood drive, I went up on stage.
Keep in mind I was fourteen fift and uh some
guy I went up with him and he was like
blood drive. He's like, we were supposed to do something
to make it memorable, so you all sign up for
the blood drive because it's really important and we couldn't
think of anything, so just go to the blood drive, right, Peter.
(33:57):
And then I went and I had a mouth full
of fake blood and I barfed it up all over
myself as if it was a shock and a surprise,
and I got huge laughs. So the teachers know you're
going to do that. No, and it killed in the
room because I was playing it like, oh, this is embarrassing,
and I had a horrifying blood on my face and
I was like, give blood. And we made it memorable.
(34:18):
But there were two teachers that found it very distasteful
and they brought it up and they did not like
the reason you brought at the premise of this was
you want me to go back in time and stop
you from doing this. I don't regret that one at all. Okay,
there's something that I do though. This next segment is
(34:39):
called Listeners want to Knows. This is where we take
some questions and thoughts from our listeners. All right, this
email comes to us from Aaron. Aaron says, Dear Peter
and Beth, I'll love you guys and your podcast so
so much. Thank you for being there to make me
laugh on days when the pressure of life is getting
(34:59):
to me and Slash or my toddler has completely destroyed
my sanity. You guys are such a breath of fresh
air and a sea of pretentious, pinterest obsessed parenting shows
and blogs which all seemed to exist purely to make
me feel inadequate as a mom. I can't emphasize on
us how much I love and appreciate your raw honesty
(35:20):
when it comes to your lives and distresses and occasional
ugliness of being parents of young children. It is just
so relatable, I gotta say. So many people are like, oh,
just thanks for showing us how ugly parenting can be,
and I'm like, oh, yeah, that wasn't the intention. Um,
well that was my intention. Okay, well good, you're smarter
(35:42):
than me once again. Um, I have a question about something.
I have a question about something that's been plaguing our
house for a few weeks now. Our son recently turned
three and has lately started preferring me mom over his
dad like a lot. He wants to give him a bath,
me to tuck him in, me to read him on
(36:03):
his bed time stories, me to get him his cup
of water, etcetera. And he shouts angrily or starts crying
anytime my husband tries to get involved. He's also started
saying things to my husband along the lines of, Daddy,
you're not my best friend anymore anymore, and daddy, I
don't want you to be in here, whatever room we
happen to be in. I know toddler preferential stuff is
(36:25):
very common for his age, but sometimes unless my place, uh,
but sometimes it's just plain mean the way he says
some of the stuff, and it often really really uh
hurts my husband's feelings. I just want to say, Aaron,
you're doing a killer job of of with your grammar,
(36:50):
like I know how to read this, all these little interjections. Well,
you're doing a great job reading. Hey, thank you. I've
only stumbled a few times school. This was my greatest fear.
My questions are, have you guys experienced this to any
particular degree with Bryn or Maven? And if so, spelled
their names right by the way. If so, how did
(37:10):
you handle it? I've I've advised my husband to try
and stay calm whenever it happens and just say something
to our son like wow, that really hurts my feelings,
but I still love you. But what's the best way
for me, as the preferred parent to respond? Do I
come down hard on three year old to put him
in a time out, ignore it, and pray it's stop soon.
(37:30):
I've tried encouraging the two of them to spend more
time together, which usually goes fine for a little while,
but inadvertently, when bedtime rolls around, the toddler is back
to being vehemently against dad being involved in anything. Side note,
I'm also pregnant and hello emotional lately, and every time
I start crying, our son seems to think Dad is
at fault and angrily yells at him. Daddy stopped talking
(37:54):
to my mommy. So that's another weird, kind of funny
but obviously not super great side to this situation. Thank you,
love Aaron. That was a delightful read. Yeah. So May
even literally did this tonight. She does it all the time.
Both her kids have done this many times. Not you, daddy, Yeah,
that's one of my pray with phrases, is not you. Um.
(38:18):
I would try to take it personally. This is like
a grass is always greener thing, because I think when
you're the preferred parent, it's really annoying to like just
always be wanted for everything. And then I can see
why it would hurt your feelings to have a kid
say this to you, But it's like, I don't know,
it seems nice to be off the hook. For something. Boy,
I get stressed about it only because I'm sometimes I'm
(38:41):
just like really specifically want to be proactive and take
care of things, so that like, probably I can be
lazy in some other way, but I'm like, but the
big difference is I put them to bed more than
you do, and I take them to school every day.
So I'm it sounds like I'm more a part of
their routine than, uh than Aaron's child is with their dad.
(39:04):
And I don't know, she didn't really specify. I think
she was saying that they're both trying to do to
do that. Well, it sounded like she does bedtime routine
more often. Maybe that's not true, But even with me,
I think what they're more used to me doing a
lot of these things. There is this core difference, like
(39:25):
mommy means something different to them than daddy. I think
it's yeah, well, I mean this week it feels mostly
related to just me being gone all week, and I
think they're like they're just like missing me, or they're
subconsciously thinking I'm going to leave and not be back
for a while or something. Um So, I don't know,
I just I feel like there's sometimes with that stuff
(39:46):
you just need to give into it and let them
like get their fill of you. Um, either that or
my only other strategy is to just to try to
physically leave the space, because um, it's like out of sight,
out of mind. That's like the only thing that works
with them. Yeah. Mate, So tonight I went in there
(40:07):
and shut the door to put it in a bed,
and they knew you were there because they just saw you. Yeah.
I mean, we have a really small apartment, so it's
impossible to hide. But you going in your room and
shutting the door. They're actually used to because a lot
of times they'll come home and they're watching TV and
you go into the bedroom and you shut the door
because I'm trying to hide from them, and they get
(40:28):
used to you not being here, and the show ends
and we get calm, and I brushed their teeth and
they sort of have this mode that, oh, Mommy is
not here, even though she is. But tonight you were
playing with them until because we got home late, so
it was worst case scenario. But you just stayed out
of the way and she screamed and screamed, and I
(40:48):
turned out the light and waited and we pushed through
it and it was fine, and then she freaked out
bigger later, well sort of. Then I went in and
rocked her for a minute and got her to drink
her water, and then she was fine. And then Brin
decided his was his turn to throw tantrum and he
started freaking. I think Brian is less mommy crazy than
Mayven is. Yeah, but he's also just gotten much sweeter
(41:11):
about it, Like he started to just hug me and
say I love you, mommy, and it's like much more.
It's much um. But I didn't tell you this, so
may even freaked out the first time. Then I read
them books um, and before the second freak out, we
were reading books. She did the same thing. She just
rolled on top of me, put our arms around me
(41:33):
and whispered, I love you dead. Like well, I feel
like they have learned to appreciate quality time because they're
like because we were tag teaming watching them and one
of us was gone. It's like they are parking up
and realizing that we're all together at once, and then
they're sort of like in a better mood those nights
because it's like family time. My mom would tell the
(41:54):
story all the time when I was little, where I
would often be like mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, and she's like, yes, Peter,
what And I would forget what was gonna say, so
I would just go, I love you, mommy, and of
course mommy and love that, and so she was like,
cute story. But now that it's happening, I'm like, I
get it. Yeah. I mean also, I want to say
(42:15):
that this listener is pregnant. So part of that, I
think is when I was pregnant with May But I
think Bryne was starting to pick up on something in
the air and he got extra clingy and he was
laying on my belly always like big time. It was
very annoying. I have a theory about this, and I
think we've talked about this before. Yeah, Aaron, you should
not be worried. There is an evolutionary thing where kids
(42:39):
cling to their mothers because that's the safer, it's the
more surefire thing. Listen, there's an evolutionary thing. Well, it's
called breastfeeding. Uh, it's called breast little little tiny hunter
gatherer babies literally need their mothers and dads can be
held full, but they're less essential, so you know, they
(43:03):
cling to their mothers. That's a thing. That's going on.
But also I think the pregnant thing, we've already talked
about it. I think when a little kids knowing mom's pregnant,
they know to cling even more. They're spidy senses picking
up on a threat, an imminent threat. Uh. But also
so in terms of how to react to it, I
think you, yes, you do not show this child that
(43:27):
this has makes you emotional at all. Well, you know
she's pregnant, so she can be emotional she wants. Yeah,
But I think, Dad, you know this, this kid will
come around. This is not personal. They don't. I mean,
this will also just work itself out, like all toddler
problems are sort of like I know, there are people
who make a lot of money writing books about how
to get toddlers to behave normally. But I think also
(43:50):
toddlers are just insane. So I like, all of these
things just pass. And it's like you could spend three
months obsessing over this, thinking you're doing something, but you're
not because toddlers are crazy. So I mean, I would
just try not to beat yourself up about it. Also,
I think those people make a lot of money from
those books because you try a thing out and after
(44:11):
three months, it finally works. But no, a child every
three months is a completely different Someone you know about
the book on the day their kids stopped doing it,
so they think the book is right, and then they
get you to buy the book, and then it's just
we really hate books. I hate books. They're all wrong,
all of them. All those books I haven't read garbage.
No one's ever been except for that one book I
(44:33):
read about potty training, which is very helpful, literally the
only parenting book I've read. Yeah, but then we realized
at the end of it that that book had one
one page cheat sheet that was just cliff notes of
the whole book, and there was no need to read
it except I still don't remember the last phase, which
Britain has not gotten over. We also we modified the
potty training to be very different from what that book said.
(44:55):
So I don't really not really, you keep forgetting I
read the book. No, I I know what the book says.
I read it. If you remember correctly, emotional labor is
a thing that you overlook. But I purchased the book
with the knowledge that people were using the book. I
(45:17):
gave it to you and I said, listen, you're going
to man splay in this book to me either way.
So I'm going to let you read it and describe
it back to me so that I don't have to
spend time reading this book that I already took the
time to purchase. None of that negates what I said. Well, anyway,
you did tell me what the book said. In addition
to the Facebook threads, I read about the book and
(45:37):
then I read the page at the back of the
book that was a cliff notes of the entire book.
So I know what the book is about, and you
know what. We did it and we nailed it, but
we also just ended up doing a modified thing of
just like figuring it out like that. That's what you
should do. Anyway. Kids are all different. Figure it out.
(45:57):
That's a secret. Here's the last page of our book.
They they're just gonna be like you. That's the last
picture of her book. They're just going to be like you.
You know what they actually already are. Britain has not changed.
He's the same weird Eli was Okay, Midwestern, Okay, come on,
(46:19):
raising kids ain't hard. You just let them eat food.
I don't know what this is, like some sort of
northern Wisconsin Minnesota thing. It's not hard. Just keep warm,
don't let them freeze out there. Get some salt on
this pavement. Alright, that answer all right. Now it's time
(46:46):
for a segment that we haven't done a while. This
is called what do They Knows? This is where we
talked to or secretly record our children to hear what
they literally are saying. This segment involves a recent bedtime
where I was telling stories in the dark, laying on
(47:07):
the ground, brending my phone in their in their beds,
and then they decided that they wanted to try their
hand at telling some stories. Uh, poor recording quality because
it was the last minute's secret recording, but enjoy. Oh yeah,
will you start to drop this story over the money?
(47:28):
There is Peter the Bran and you went to school
and you talk too pregnant and he I'm gonna tell
you too, and I teach yourself, okay um, And he said,
(47:58):
what did the butt say? Is cans come? Yeah? Theacher said,
I don't know. And that was so so ar it
was how armed it was said, you know that was good?
(48:34):
Why and and your drink? And Andrews the coconut, Let's
tell that's funny. I want to let's take turns. Maybe
do you want to tell the stories. Let's do it
one at a time. Maybe you're trying to tell story.
You take out your and told us the story. What's
(48:57):
what's so fine? Kind him? Okay, starting to fart for me? Story?
(49:22):
Good story. That's my girl. Yeah, that's my girl. She
loves farts, farts big. Our kids are really in the
poopin farts right now. And you can see how I
handle it, which is to embrace it and encourage more
(49:43):
of it. I mean, we probably have a good I
don't know ten years left of fart jokes with these guys.
Are you kidding me? We have so much more than
how old are we? But I you know I'm not
tired of it yet. No, it's look forward to anymore. Again.
I am worried about them doing this to strangers and
(50:06):
being a gross little weirdo. What kind of stranger in
the right mind wouldn't laugh at a kid making a
first I mean, what did the butts say to the skunk?
That is a top notch joke the skunk. It's perfect
because the skunk is so misleading because you're like, what
(50:26):
did the butt say to the skunk? You're like this
is going to be about too stinky. Yeah, they're both stinky,
so it's gonna be like you stink, But no says
one thing. He just sneaks right and they the butt's
not thinking about any of that. It's flawless. The more
I think about it, they realized, like, I've never written
(50:46):
a joke that pure. Uh, And that is what's this
se called. We knows what they're what they're saying. We
knows what they're saying. All right, this has been We
Knows Parenting. We're doing this outro while our daughter is
(51:08):
crying in bed, so quickly while we're still here, please
go rate review, subscribe the podcast on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter,
at we Knows Pod. You can find us that we
Knows Pod, we Knows Parenting dot com. You can email
us so we knows uh pot at gmail dot com
if you want to send us a question or story,
share something. Would you know scenario? We also have a
(51:31):
Google voicemail number. It's not in front of men. Go
to our website. May uh, what's our website? We knows
parenting dot com for merch and our phone number and
all of that. Do you know how to find us?
You do? Oh? And I'll say again. Check out the story.
Pirate's new album, Nothing Is Impossible. It is literally amazing.
(51:52):
Check it out on iTunes, Apple Music, Spotify, wherever you
get your jams, and Yo, we'll see you next time.
Yeah bo
I'm off the deep watch us that I haven't seen
the movie. Hello, Welcome to We Knows Parenting. I'm Beth Newell.
(00:22):
I'm Peter McNerney. We are two parents, comedians, real life parents,
if we have kids, definitely human. The show is about parenting.
It's about to begin. It began, it's been gone already.
So okay, Peter, we can review. First of all, you
wanted to talk about last week's episode. Yeah, the controversy
(00:43):
of the season. Beth. It's just the most Beth thing
that's ever happened. Is we got in that email criticizing me.
That's the most best thing that's ever happened. No, no, no,
not is they just not telling me, just doing it,
even when I was asking, like I'm going to do it.
It's great, not shocking, It's it's entirely predictable. Um. I
(01:10):
it was vulnerable in that podcast, and I put myself
out there and I feel just I feel just great
about it. I like how used that in the podcast that, um,
you were just going to leave that email b and
never bring it up on the podcast, which I think
is funny. Um. I said, I was considering that I
had not come, I had not made a choice about it. Um.
(01:31):
Oh gosh, now I remember where the episode is about.
I guess I gotta not talk so much in this episode.
Not likely to change dramatically, but I'm working on it anyway.
This week, it was your turn to be out of
town and might turn to be home alone with the children.
(01:52):
And you mentioned in your episode when I was gone
that it was a miracle that no one got sick,
because it always happens I go away and let me
gets sick. Well, they were waiting for you to leave
town so they could get sick with me. And on
my birthday October eleven, uh, may even gave me the gifts,
the gift of vomit at daycare. Yeah, I mean that's life, right, Yeah,
(02:20):
you know what. It was fine, that's Naven for you.
This more tonight, she came in the bedroom and said,
I throw it up on the couch, and she had
the big smile on her face, just a little tiny
that I think there's just eating too much ice cream. Yeah,
although we never assume that she's actually sick, even when
she's clearly sick. Well, she hasn't had a favorite for
(02:42):
two days, so I know she's fine. Um, it was
actually a nice gift, because it is difficult to figure
out childcare when you're not here, because the things that
I do are all outside of daycare hours. It's a schedule.
No humans should have nights and weekends, and we have
childcare for week days. So I had its whole plan
(03:06):
where I was going to go into the city to
like do all this stuff I needed to do, and
I was recording the story parts podcast, and then I
had to get on the train an hour and a
half back just to pick them up from daycare, to
then take them home, and then wait ten minutes for
one of the women from daycare to get done at
work at daycare and come to our house to watch
our child so I can get back on the train
and go back from the city and teach a class.
(03:28):
And maybe this is all on my birthday, you know,
fun birthday celebration, And maybe gave me the great gift
of being forced to cancel everything that day, which you
could have canceled in the first place. This is just
she knows better than you know. Yeah, I felt too guilty,
but as soon as she was sick, I didn't feel guilty.
I pulled that My daughter threw upcard as soon as
I can think about canceling those that you know, we
(03:50):
all feel self important, like really ruining people's eyes by canceling.
But then they're always fine. They're fine. I mean, we're
not as important as we think we are. Well, it's
teaching your class, and I already already skipped Did you
hear how midwestern I said on my class and needs me? Um,
I already skipped a class. And I don't want to
(04:11):
be that teacher. I take my job very seriously, the
teacher that people miss. Yeah, sometimes, do you miss me
right in? Are you my student? Right in? Tell me
how much you missed me? Or don't? Yeah, right in
and tell you how much? Tell Peter how much you
missed this voice? Because I don't talk enough in that class. Okay,
(04:31):
So then it sounds like other than that, things were
pretty uneventful. I came back into town on the right eye,
was exhausted. Um, what do we do Saturday? You left,
and then it was just a fog of laying around recovering.
You had two full days of laying around because I
went in earlier than I normally do, full days of
(04:52):
laying around. Um, Although we have while watching children full
time it's not hard anymore. Okay, it's time and you
can do it. I can say you did it while
they were at daycare. It sounds like on the weekends.
And I'm not going to fight you on it. I
(05:12):
will amend my statement. It's not hard. It's not hard,
but it is like it sounds like you want to
do it. It's like a drag and I get restless
when I have to be home all day with the
kids because I just thought it was easy, Breezy. I mean,
it's literally around. It is literally not difficult to do. Literally.
I think every listener who has children would beg to
(05:36):
differ people. Please right, and if you disagree that parenting
is easy, an easy thing to do all day, okay, um,
let me finish it is easy relative to every single
other day. If any we have had kids in there,
and now that they're two and a half, if anyone
listening has a two and a half and a four
year old and wants to agree or disagree on whether
(05:59):
that's a frill, I think you said it was no
work whatsoever. I did not say that, Okay, I said
it technically it's easy, but it's annoying. Okay, I didn't
say that, but I'm saying it now. So Sunday, Brand
was supposed to go to the birthday party of his
best friend's mom, and then we all were. We all were,
(06:20):
but it was a it was a dicey thing you
signed me up for. It was basically like you walk
in the door with us, and then you piece out
and go to work. Well, I have to watch two
kids at a birthday party. Well, I made it very
clear what it was before I said yes, so you
could say yes. So I have no regrets there. Relax.
So then the baby the birthday party got pushed back
(06:44):
into maven snap time. She was already getting over being sick.
It seemed kind of dicier. I decided to call it
off because I was still very tired for my trip.
And the dad, the dad of this um of Brand's
best friend, asked Brin's favorite daddy from that episode. His
favorite daddy asked if he could come pick burn up
(07:05):
and bring him to the party himself, which is very
very generous, and we agreed to it, which was great.
And then, um, maybe when stay at Home didn't napp
the report I got was that Bryn was very well
behaved at the party and people were commenting on it,
supposedly how good he was, so I'm very happy with that,
but I offer I got there and I felt very
(07:27):
guilty about them taking care of an additional child while
they're already planning and running a party. So I offered
to take their son for the rest of the night
so that they could probably have sex. Oh no, I
hope they're not listening. I mean, I can't confirm for
sure that that's what they were doing, but it seems,
(07:49):
I mean, that's what we would be doing, cleaning up.
We're like, we could clean up this party, or we
could do it. This is the most graphic moment of
our entire party. You seem to like start to try
to get and then you're just like, we would have sex. Um,
we would have We're so having me too, like me too.
(08:12):
Like Anyway, I can't say for sure. Maybe they just
had a wholesome two hours at home, but they cleaned
up the party. I felt really up. It really made
my guilt feel better about them watching brand during their party,
And um, I hope they had a good birthday. I'm
a big deal. This is Brent's first play date without us.
(08:35):
It's true, but there was a whole party full of people.
They're so sure, but we weren't there. Yeah, but it
makes me think we need to trade kids with them
more often. I don't. It's annoying that we have two
kids and it's like not a good trade. But I
think even if we can just get rid of brand,
sometimes it's still worth it. Oh, it's a great deal
for everyone, for everyone. Yeah. I mean, when those two
(08:56):
kids are together, they are I mean, they fight a
little bit, but they're so happy to be around each other.
They're like, we're best friends, arms around each other's next,
there's fun. I have to say, is better behaved than
our son. He likes to follow rules and listen more.
And yeah, but I think he's also just like a
less combative person, and our kids behave better when he's around,
(09:19):
and he tries to talk Bran into being better. And
and when he was over here, Maven saw him say
he had to go potty, and then she was like,
I gotta go potty too, which is not something she does.
So then I got her potty out and while he
was on the toilet, she pee in the potty, which
again she never really does. She's done it before, but
(09:40):
not often. So he's a really good influence. Um maven
showing off her PP skills. Is she in love with him? At?
He's definitely like the cool older boy. Sure, yeah, I
know had a piano potty. Um what are your parents
(10:01):
doing right now? Having sex? Uh? Cool? Cool? I'm pee
and you can tell because I'm doing it in front
of you right now. Cool. What did you just go poopy? Poops?
Are just peep? Just peep? Cool? Actually I wiped his butt,
as you do when kids poop, and he told me
that his dad likes to wipe his butt, which I
don't know if that's a direct quote, but my dad
(10:23):
likes to wipe my butt. You think Brandon may even
think that we like doing all the things that we
do for them. That's what I was warning. If he
was just saying that, like because his dad does it,
he assumes his dad's really into that. His dad's like,
are you doing pooping? Don't move here? I come, I'm
wiping that bum bump. But I wouldn't put it past
his dad, who's a really the most enthusiastic man, really
(10:44):
funny guy, has a really dry sense of humored. To
just tell him that that's something he likes to do it. Um,
there's ire was a couple of just other little things
I wanted to mention. Brent said something this week that um,
Bryn says hilarious thinks all week and I'm like, I
gotta talk about on the podcast. And it's one once
in a month that I'll remember one thing so hard
(11:06):
to remember. Um. But when I was gone, we took
them again to Smash Burger. As you know, it's the
unofficial sponsor of this podcast, because that's we mentioned it
every other episode, the most child friendly eater gree in
there you go. Um. So we go afterwards to the
local frozen yogurt place Cherry Tree, brand's favorite place on Earth.
(11:28):
So we pulled up and I surprised it, like bringing
you over going? He's like where. I'm like, we're going
to Cherry Tree and he went, oh, Cherry Tree makes
my heart thump. It's like what he's Yeah, he's been
on role this week. He also tonight we took them
for ice cream after dinner, and uh, they're making jokes
(11:51):
about flavors of ice cream, like stinky feet ice cream
and different things, and then he said, how about crack
ice cream? We go what he goes, what about crack
ice cream? It was later explained to us that there
was some sort of crack. He cracked his ice cream,
cracked his ice cream cone or his ice cream, and
(12:12):
then he licked it and he goes, I fixed the
crack in my ice cream. But boy, hilarity ensued and
the last thing we should talk about. I also want
to add when we were about to go to get
ice cream, I asked me even if she wanted to treat,
and she goes candy, and then she sang, and she
went candy, candy, candy, and then she would giggle really hysterically.
(12:35):
And that's my daughter. She she had a bit of
a sugar high and then a bit of a crash.
We just had a bedtime. So we're recording this episode.
I don't even know if that's a crash. I think
that's just a two year old. It's a combo of things.
But we're releasing this episode eleven hours and we're doing
this late night because beths out of town and we
(12:56):
had really good bedtimes all week, and as always, the routine,
it's changed. You are here and I'm trying to put
them to bed, and she freaked out and I got
her calm. We read books and then putting the crib,
and boy, she just had a tantrum that I gotta say, Beth,
I'm really proud of you for not giving in, because
(13:16):
I was like, I gotta gotta draw a line here
because she slept in our bed last night and that's
part of why she was freaking out. Action can get
out of there. Okay, you're you're being dramatic. She was
very sick last night. She couldn't sleep because her nose
was congested and kept waking up, so she was very upset.
And I was putting on her our bed, keeping her
on an elevated pillow situation that was helping a drain
(13:37):
out of her head. And you were acting like she's
being dramatic, but she's very sick. I disagree because while
she was in bed with us, she didn't cry, but
she did just explained why we'll give her another pillow
in there. I think if we had. I went and
put her in there and I elevated the pillow, and
(13:58):
then she immediately started crying. When I tried to butt
her death let her cry for a while, she would
have through it. She was sick and we were both sick.
I was trying to sleep. I think we got less
sleep because of it. But I think I think I
love you more. I think the least amount of sleep
we got was when you just randomly tried to force
(14:20):
her to go back in her room in the middle
of the night and she started screaming hysterically. I was like, Oh, Beth,
is going to think that that would run New York
divert or classics laying down discipline at inappropriate times. Oh God,
look at this odd couple that's us. Now it's time
(14:40):
for we knows what they're watching. This is where we
talk about our children's current pop culture or media obsessions interests. Beth,
you've requested this UM segment. You've got something to say. Yeah,
so Um. As usual, our kids have gotten into some
(15:02):
Spanish YouTube that I guess they're being shown at daycare,
and their new obsession is the like a music video
sort of thing on YouTube to this song called damatokosita
m Can you sing the song for us a little?
(15:25):
I UM? And so it's like a video of like
an alien guy on like an empty alien plane. You'll
you might want to edit it in here to give
it do it justice? But they um, it's like, oh,
so it's like this alien guy dancing like very suggestively,
(15:45):
like humping the air, and he like bends his body
in really funny ways and maybe and burn crack up
and maybe keeps being like he's naked. He's naked. So then,
just before we started recording this, I looked up what
the meaning of domatucosita is and uh it is. The
(16:06):
English title is give me your thingy. So it's like
I think it's a new remix of an older song.
But I guess it's like it must be like a
viral kids like kid video. There are a lot of
videos of uh it's clearly some sort of like uh
not mo capped, but like the style of dancing is
(16:29):
hilarious when you put it on animated characters and character
and other condo. This might be like the official video.
I don't know the dance funny dancing alien video Spanish anyway,
I thise, I just think it's very funny and um.
In addition to all the practical reasons, I am excited
(16:51):
that our kids are sort of starting to learn Spanish.
Is just then inside jokes, the jokes will be in
on I think are really point, so Brin is really
the Spanish is coming along and it's we're seeing a
little bit more than we normally do. Yeah, tonight was
the first time I was able to have a real
conversation with him because I was sort of talking to
(17:11):
him in the little bit of Spanish that I know
and asking him questions and I would get to a
word because Maybe was talking to me in English about
pepper Pig toys and she was like, where are my shoes?
So then I was trying to talk to Brin and
said donde esta uh, and then I was like, what's
the word? What are his shoes? And he was like
a patos. So it was that's the first time he's
(17:34):
really like responded because we had a couple of exchanges
like that where he knew the answer and he was
like tortuga, like he he's starting to sort of like
comprehend the what the language is a little more. I think. Yeah,
I also got Spanish English songs going at pre K
now because he just sang his days of the Week
song Domingo Martes hawai'rnes that's from Yeah, well they do
(18:02):
because he sings this song in English like the days
of the Week Monday, Sunday, Monday Tuesday, and then he
does a whole thing in Spanish and he does sign
language with each day. The sign language is very impressive.
I mean it's clearly. At our pre k night they
talked about there literally do a lot of songs and
stuff like that, um and it's effective. So the head
of daycare um who uh speaks Spanish, mentioned said that
(18:28):
apparently there's a dual language program at one of the
local elementary schools and she's like, Bryn is a perfect candidate,
Like he's great, and she said it like she just
had this idea and he must do this thing. I mean,
you're taking this like a very flatteringly. But I think
part of her motivation is maybe like if she's going
to put her son in the Spanish English program, she
(18:50):
wants some kids there who also speak English. Well maybe
you know that's I am very susceptible to flash. I
don't know, it sounds interesting. We need to look into
it more, because this week I also heard from a
friend of a friend who is from this town that
his current elementary school is the best elementary school in
town and the most diverse. So I don't well, we
(19:12):
have to like find out more about these programs. Well,
I do know, I've looked. When we first moved here,
are looking at the part of the reason I liked
here is is that school goes through now is more
highly rated. Whatever that means. Do you mean they're both great?
But I mean I I think you can't really put
a value on someone understanding Spanish at a young age. Yeah.
Well that's the thing. It's like we've talked about this
(19:34):
a lot on this podcast, where we want to expose
brand to a diverse population people to get to know
people they're different from him. Um, And if one school
is in general more diverse, great cool. But if he's
doing a dual language program, that also hits another article
we talked about, which is by lingual kids learn empathy?
(19:57):
Uh quicker? So which one? Yeah, that's a tough called
to make, which is probably you feel like we need
more information, Yeah, but probably end up being the school
that's closest to us, if we're going to be honest,
I mean, yeah, that's very possible, but it was flattering.
It's also like, where is the place he's most likely
to be able to get after school care? Um, so
(20:17):
that we don't have to see him during a week. Gosh,
I just don't want to see him until he has
an apartment and he's visiting us with food. It's just
nicer when he misses you. He's been giving us a
lot of hugs lately. Um, you know, uh fun. I'll
(20:38):
talk about this later. Oh you're all wondering what I
was gonna say. It's gonna be so good. We're gonna
talk about another episode and I won't reference that. It's
the thing that I was thinking of now, So there
you go. You don't have to add it. All of
this happen. There's just the big screen to the listeners.
This is the most boring thing you've got. Oh, let
me keep going about a vague thing that no details
(21:00):
I've given. I will say one quick thing about media consumption.
So I've deleted the YouTube at because I think it
drives them insane and I think it's mindless content. And
I've read a lot of articles blah blah blah blah. Um.
So I pushed him too longer form content because he
invests and thinks about it for a long time. It's
not just next, next, next, but Amazon. Amazon is terrible.
(21:23):
It's just like they're like the store. You can just
sell any crap on there, and all these like shapes
videos and that this is another like old man McNerney rant,
I am, yeah, Well the point of the story is
not anyway. There's too many videos, not less videos that
(21:45):
I have so many articles backing me up about how
bad only e walks. You know what, that's the article
I'm gonna write. Everyone's only allowed to watch The Ewalk Adventure,
the best not good movie that I remember I was for.
But I deleted Amazon Prime while you were away, and
boy guess what it took brin twenty minutes to figure
(22:08):
out how to go to the app store, find Amazon Prime,
re downloaded, and get back to the show. Really impressive.
And I'm like, I gotta password protect this, and I
thought I did it, and somehow he did it again.
You know, when our kids are sneaky, obviously there's a
part of me that's annoyed. But then there's a part
of me that's just like proud. Yep, that's me. They're
(22:31):
so sneaky, they're just coming. I mean, he's like sneaky,
but he's those performative sneaky. Literally walked by the door
like tiptoeing like atently scheming. I don't did I talk
about the cake tasting on the on the podcast yet? Um.
They offered me birthday cake to take home from the
birthday party and I was like, no, no, we can't
(22:53):
have any sugar any more sugar stuff in our house
because I have to go to great lengths to hide it.
And I said, like a month ago, Brin came in
the bedroom when I was like folding laundry or something,
and he was like, Mommy, I'm doing a cake tasting.
And I was like, okay, he's pretending he's doing cake tasting.
And I came out and he had taken a huge
chunk of his birthday cake out of the freezer from
(23:14):
the month before, and he had it in front of
the TV. He was just eating frozen birthday cake like
a huge honk. He ate so much, it's amazing. He
called it a cake take. I don't know where he
came up with and I don't know where he heard
cake tasting. Well, that's all those wedding shows that he watches.
One thing I also want to add into we knows
(23:36):
what they're watching is that Maven has been watching that
New dance show on Netflix hosted by Melissa Edwards. Yeah,
and as usual, Like she's like Maven's like entrance by
like almost nudity or any butt type stuff, and there's
like stuff, you know, there's just like, uh, the these
(24:00):
guys and like booty shorts, like shaking their butts at
parties and stuff, and and but her new way of reacting,
she's like, that's disgusting. That's disgusting. They love disgusting so
much right now they love Oh my god. Oh yeah,
she was doing something too this weekend. I came and
she was like, God, oh my god. I don't know
(24:24):
where that comes from. I've removed that phrase since working
in schools. Uh, some people don't like that, so I've
removed that from my vocabulary. And they started saying it.
I'm like, oh, you can't say that, and I'm like
it sounds like they're all saying to take care all day.
So I don't feel I mean, I grew up saying
that every second. I mean, it's so funny when they
say it. It's hard to want to discourage it. It's
(24:46):
so dramatic. Oh my god, oh my god. Amazon Prime
is gone again. Oh my god, oh my god. I
need to do another cake tasting, so that's he knows
what they're watching. This next second is called wood he knows.
(25:12):
This is where we posit hypothetical parenting challenges to each
other and ask what we would do. Peter, bet, I
have one for you. I'm excited about it. Okay. In
this scenario, Maven, your daughter is older. She's let's say
a tween. Okay, she's in seventh grade, so she's twelve thirteen,
(25:34):
and um, you go and she's at school. You go
into a room you're cleaning up or whatever, and you
discover in her drawer a journal that you didn't know
she kept. And then mischievous, sneaky part of you has
to read this journal. You know that it's a betrayal
(25:55):
of trust and that you shouldn't, but come on, she's
never going to find out. You're just gonna read it.
So you start reading it and it's appropriately funny and dramatic,
as like a you know, uh, preteen girl's diary maybe um,
and then you get to a page where you discover
(26:17):
that she has a big plan and she has this
big idea for like some special week at school where
she's going to do this big prank. What is this
with me in an assembly. The year is in the assembly,
(26:38):
I should have written this whole thing out. But in
the assembly, she's decided that she's going to surprise everyone
and come out on stage, maybe like wearing some sort
of costumes. This does anything like mee no, but it's
gonna be a big It's a bit and she's convinced
that it's a great joke in the bit where she's
suddenly has taken on you and or Bryan's personality. Your
(26:59):
focusing on the wrong details here. So it's some sort
of bit where she's like, this is great, but you
read it through and you just you know that it's
going to be a disaster, that it will scar her
for life because it's not funny. But you understand why
she thought it would be in your comedian and you
would know. And it's is going to she's going way
(27:22):
out on a limb because this is not like her
at all. I don't think you're talking about Brandon, not
ma This is what's so weird about it is Maven's
taking a big risk doing this and you know that
it's going to be a disaster and she's gonna retreat
and she's going to be not confident. I mean, the
thing is that I'm knowing that it's Maven. I know
she'll never actually pull the trigger and do this. She
was probably just doing it as a writing exercise of
(27:44):
a hypothetical. Here, this is you again. Every time I
give you these hypotheticals, you just argue the basic premise
where you're like, every time the aliens came, You're like,
why would I believe these aliens not important? You believe
just reacting to the question. I'm still reacting to this reality.
(28:04):
And that's fair. So you have in this world. Mayven
is still my daughter, She still is the same person. Correct. Yeah,
and this is a surprising thing, but it seems too
weird to be a hypothetical. The rest of it is
honest and true, and so you really think she's going
to do this. It's honest and true. So do you
(28:28):
save her from embarrassment while also admitting to her you
have read her? Maybe? And I know if she's really
going to do this, she's really going to do this,
and she's going to prepare, and I just trust her
in that, Like, I think this is like getting out
of her shell if she actually does it, which I
don't think she will. It will be a good exercise
(28:50):
for her in challenging herself. So even if it goes poorly,
she will have learned the really innocuous consequences of having
the go poorly on stage. Oh so you're gonna let
her just take the take the social bullet on this one.
(29:11):
And now she's the weird though this gets talked about
for the rest she's the weird. I really should have
written what the thing was? Okay, same question. It's Brent. Okay,
so Brent. You read Brent's diary and he's got a
big thing that's funny. I still think it's just going
to roll right off this back. I'm not worried about him.
M hm. Boy like, teachers will never look at him
(29:35):
the same, they'll never respect You're only going to know
him for another half a year. What was happening? Are
were switching schools at the end of the year. Teachers,
you don't have the same teacher for more than a year.
Have you been to school before? Yeah, we in high school.
We had the same homeroom teacher for four years. I mean, okay, fine, homework.
(29:56):
His home room teacher is gonna laugh when she sees
him walk in. Boy, you're really undercutting the stakes of
my premise here. All right, I'm gonna adjust it. Okay,
you read my diary and I okay, here's it as
you read my diary because you yes, and I also
have a big plan to do this thing at work.
(30:18):
But I don't realize that there is uh some like
there's some terrible stereotypes and misogyny in this that I'm
just every week when you jump on stage without a
plan in this scenario, I have a plan, okay, which
(30:39):
is what worries you? Right, I don't know, Okay, so
what Okay, here's a new question. You read Maven's diary.
What would you have to read in there for you
to confront maybe about it in a way that would
reveal that you have read her diary. I mean, I
(31:00):
don't know if she's planning like nudity or something. Okay,
that's it. This guy turned into a serious one. She's
a little older, she's fifteen, and she's planning to do
like video naked stuff with somebody duff facetiming. There's gonna
be new technology then what you could do like uh,
(31:23):
hologram naked time with you know what videos are? Right?
This is the future, there's hologram videos. I think this
is something you actually do have to get ahead of
with your kids. Maybe at some point if they're getting phones.
It's just remind them that things can exist forever. Now.
(31:43):
I'm not like as concerned about this as other people,
because I think, um, people are very alarmoust about the
what do you call digital trail that we leave? But um,
I do you think with your girl a certain age
they need to know about, um, what is it? There's
(32:05):
like a term for this when boys like sort of
blackmail nuts and stuff like. So many listeners are screaming
it at us right now now. Um uh, blackmail some
sort of scam boys do to get needs out of
girls and then share them around because the photos and
videos can be revenge revenge revenge. Yeah, I guess that
(32:28):
falls under revenge point. But anyway, I think that that
is something you kind of have to tell kids about
these days because it's that stuff can get around very quickly. Boy,
this bit got real fun. We should talk about that
in another time so you would never almost every way
to hear the listener email we're gonna get from people
who are like, my kid did get revenge porn? And
(32:52):
these are they're gonna school us and be like, you're
taking this way too lightly. I'm terrified of check allergy
in the hands of I'm thinking about myself. I didn't
get my first smartphone until I was an adult. What
would I have done with that in middle school? High school?
(33:14):
Um also just a backpen a little bit. What is
this assembly where they just let kids come on stage
and do whatever? That was a lot a lot of
my assemblies made. Oh yeah, you were like free form
rich kids. Yeah. I got to make a lot of
announcements because I was president of Forum. They were like
share your self esteem today, And every time they make announcement,
(33:35):
I do a bit. And I got in trouble one
time because for a blood drive, I went up on stage.
Keep in mind I was fourteen fift and uh some
guy I went up with him and he was like
blood drive. He's like, we were supposed to do something
to make it memorable, so you all sign up for
the blood drive because it's really important and we couldn't
think of anything, so just go to the blood drive, right, Peter.
(33:57):
And then I went and I had a mouth full
of fake blood and I barfed it up all over
myself as if it was a shock and a surprise,
and I got huge laughs. So the teachers know you're
going to do that. No, and it killed in the
room because I was playing it like, oh, this is embarrassing,
and I had a horrifying blood on my face and
I was like, give blood. And we made it memorable.
(34:18):
But there were two teachers that found it very distasteful
and they brought it up and they did not like
the reason you brought at the premise of this was
you want me to go back in time and stop
you from doing this. I don't regret that one at all. Okay,
there's something that I do though. This next segment is
(34:39):
called Listeners want to Knows. This is where we take
some questions and thoughts from our listeners. All right, this
email comes to us from Aaron. Aaron says, Dear Peter
and Beth, I'll love you guys and your podcast so
so much. Thank you for being there to make me
laugh on days when the pressure of life is getting
(34:59):
to me and Slash or my toddler has completely destroyed
my sanity. You guys are such a breath of fresh
air and a sea of pretentious, pinterest obsessed parenting shows
and blogs which all seemed to exist purely to make
me feel inadequate as a mom. I can't emphasize on
us how much I love and appreciate your raw honesty
(35:20):
when it comes to your lives and distresses and occasional
ugliness of being parents of young children. It is just
so relatable, I gotta say. So many people are like, oh,
just thanks for showing us how ugly parenting can be,
and I'm like, oh, yeah, that wasn't the intention. Um,
well that was my intention. Okay, well good, you're smarter
(35:42):
than me once again. Um, I have a question about something.
I have a question about something that's been plaguing our
house for a few weeks now. Our son recently turned
three and has lately started preferring me mom over his
dad like a lot. He wants to give him a bath,
me to tuck him in, me to read him on
(36:03):
his bed time stories, me to get him his cup
of water, etcetera. And he shouts angrily or starts crying
anytime my husband tries to get involved. He's also started
saying things to my husband along the lines of, Daddy,
you're not my best friend anymore anymore, and daddy, I
don't want you to be in here, whatever room we
happen to be in. I know toddler preferential stuff is
(36:25):
very common for his age, but sometimes unless my place, uh,
but sometimes it's just plain mean the way he says
some of the stuff, and it often really really uh
hurts my husband's feelings. I just want to say, Aaron,
you're doing a killer job of of with your grammar,
(36:50):
like I know how to read this, all these little interjections. Well,
you're doing a great job reading. Hey, thank you. I've
only stumbled a few times school. This was my greatest fear.
My questions are, have you guys experienced this to any
particular degree with Bryn or Maven? And if so, spelled
their names right by the way. If so, how did
(37:10):
you handle it? I've I've advised my husband to try
and stay calm whenever it happens and just say something
to our son like wow, that really hurts my feelings,
but I still love you. But what's the best way
for me, as the preferred parent to respond? Do I
come down hard on three year old to put him
in a time out, ignore it, and pray it's stop soon.
(37:30):
I've tried encouraging the two of them to spend more
time together, which usually goes fine for a little while,
but inadvertently, when bedtime rolls around, the toddler is back
to being vehemently against dad being involved in anything. Side note,
I'm also pregnant and hello emotional lately, and every time
I start crying, our son seems to think Dad is
at fault and angrily yells at him. Daddy stopped talking
(37:54):
to my mommy. So that's another weird, kind of funny
but obviously not super great side to this situation. Thank you,
love Aaron. That was a delightful read. Yeah. So May
even literally did this tonight. She does it all the time.
Both her kids have done this many times. Not you, daddy, Yeah,
that's one of my pray with phrases, is not you. Um.
(38:18):
I would try to take it personally. This is like
a grass is always greener thing, because I think when
you're the preferred parent, it's really annoying to like just
always be wanted for everything. And then I can see
why it would hurt your feelings to have a kid
say this to you, But it's like, I don't know,
it seems nice to be off the hook. For something. Boy,
I get stressed about it only because I'm sometimes I'm
(38:41):
just like really specifically want to be proactive and take
care of things, so that like, probably I can be
lazy in some other way, but I'm like, but the
big difference is I put them to bed more than
you do, and I take them to school every day.
So I'm it sounds like I'm more a part of
their routine than, uh than Aaron's child is with their dad.
(39:04):
And I don't know, she didn't really specify. I think
she was saying that they're both trying to do to
do that. Well, it sounded like she does bedtime routine
more often. Maybe that's not true, But even with me,
I think what they're more used to me doing a
lot of these things. There is this core difference, like
(39:25):
mommy means something different to them than daddy. I think
it's yeah, well, I mean this week it feels mostly
related to just me being gone all week, and I
think they're like they're just like missing me, or they're
subconsciously thinking I'm going to leave and not be back
for a while or something. Um So, I don't know,
I just I feel like there's sometimes with that stuff
(39:46):
you just need to give into it and let them
like get their fill of you. Um, either that or
my only other strategy is to just to try to
physically leave the space, because um, it's like out of sight,
out of mind. That's like the only thing that works
with them. Yeah. Mate, So tonight I went in there
(40:07):
and shut the door to put it in a bed,
and they knew you were there because they just saw you. Yeah.
I mean, we have a really small apartment, so it's
impossible to hide. But you going in your room and
shutting the door. They're actually used to because a lot
of times they'll come home and they're watching TV and
you go into the bedroom and you shut the door
because I'm trying to hide from them, and they get
(40:28):
used to you not being here, and the show ends
and we get calm, and I brushed their teeth and
they sort of have this mode that, oh, Mommy is
not here, even though she is. But tonight you were
playing with them until because we got home late, so
it was worst case scenario. But you just stayed out
of the way and she screamed and screamed, and I
(40:48):
turned out the light and waited and we pushed through
it and it was fine, and then she freaked out
bigger later, well sort of. Then I went in and
rocked her for a minute and got her to drink
her water, and then she was fine. And then Brin
decided his was his turn to throw tantrum and he
started freaking. I think Brian is less mommy crazy than
Mayven is. Yeah, but he's also just gotten much sweeter
(41:11):
about it, Like he started to just hug me and
say I love you, mommy, and it's like much more.
It's much um. But I didn't tell you this, so
may even freaked out the first time. Then I read
them books um, and before the second freak out, we
were reading books. She did the same thing. She just
rolled on top of me, put our arms around me
(41:33):
and whispered, I love you dead. Like well, I feel
like they have learned to appreciate quality time because they're
like because we were tag teaming watching them and one
of us was gone. It's like they are parking up
and realizing that we're all together at once, and then
they're sort of like in a better mood those nights
because it's like family time. My mom would tell the
(41:54):
story all the time when I was little, where I
would often be like mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, and she's like, yes, Peter,
what And I would forget what was gonna say, so
I would just go, I love you, mommy, and of
course mommy and love that, and so she was like,
cute story. But now that it's happening, I'm like, I
get it. Yeah. I mean also, I want to say
(42:15):
that this listener is pregnant. So part of that, I
think is when I was pregnant with May But I
think Bryne was starting to pick up on something in
the air and he got extra clingy and he was
laying on my belly always like big time. It was
very annoying. I have a theory about this, and I
think we've talked about this before. Yeah, Aaron, you should
not be worried. There is an evolutionary thing where kids
(42:39):
cling to their mothers because that's the safer, it's the
more surefire thing. Listen, there's an evolutionary thing. Well, it's
called breastfeeding. Uh, it's called breast little little tiny hunter
gatherer babies literally need their mothers and dads can be
held full, but they're less essential, so you know, they
(43:03):
cling to their mothers. That's a thing. That's going on.
But also I think the pregnant thing, we've already talked
about it. I think when a little kids knowing mom's pregnant,
they know to cling even more. They're spidy senses picking
up on a threat, an imminent threat. Uh. But also
so in terms of how to react to it, I
think you, yes, you do not show this child that
(43:27):
this has makes you emotional at all. Well, you know
she's pregnant, so she can be emotional she wants. Yeah,
But I think, Dad, you know this, this kid will
come around. This is not personal. They don't. I mean,
this will also just work itself out, like all toddler
problems are sort of like I know, there are people
who make a lot of money writing books about how
to get toddlers to behave normally. But I think also
(43:50):
toddlers are just insane. So I like, all of these
things just pass. And it's like you could spend three
months obsessing over this, thinking you're doing something, but you're
not because toddlers are crazy. So I mean, I would
just try not to beat yourself up about it. Also,
I think those people make a lot of money from
those books because you try a thing out and after
(44:11):
three months, it finally works. But no, a child every
three months is a completely different Someone you know about
the book on the day their kids stopped doing it,
so they think the book is right, and then they
get you to buy the book, and then it's just
we really hate books. I hate books. They're all wrong,
all of them. All those books I haven't read garbage.
No one's ever been except for that one book I
(44:33):
read about potty training, which is very helpful, literally the
only parenting book I've read. Yeah, but then we realized
at the end of it that that book had one
one page cheat sheet that was just cliff notes of
the whole book, and there was no need to read
it except I still don't remember the last phase, which
Britain has not gotten over. We also we modified the
potty training to be very different from what that book said.
(44:55):
So I don't really not really, you keep forgetting I
read the book. No, I I know what the book says.
I read it. If you remember correctly, emotional labor is
a thing that you overlook. But I purchased the book
with the knowledge that people were using the book. I
(45:17):
gave it to you and I said, listen, you're going
to man splay in this book to me either way.
So I'm going to let you read it and describe
it back to me so that I don't have to
spend time reading this book that I already took the
time to purchase. None of that negates what I said. Well, anyway,
you did tell me what the book said. In addition
to the Facebook threads, I read about the book and
(45:37):
then I read the page at the back of the
book that was a cliff notes of the entire book.
So I know what the book is about, and you
know what. We did it and we nailed it, but
we also just ended up doing a modified thing of
just like figuring it out like that. That's what you
should do. Anyway. Kids are all different. Figure it out.
(45:57):
That's a secret. Here's the last page of our book.
They they're just gonna be like you. That's the last
picture of her book. They're just going to be like you.
You know what they actually already are. Britain has not changed.
He's the same weird Eli was Okay, Midwestern, Okay, come on,
(46:19):
raising kids ain't hard. You just let them eat food.
I don't know what this is, like some sort of
northern Wisconsin Minnesota thing. It's not hard. Just keep warm,
don't let them freeze out there. Get some salt on
this pavement. Alright, that answer all right. Now it's time
(46:46):
for a segment that we haven't done a while. This
is called what do They Knows? This is where we
talked to or secretly record our children to hear what
they literally are saying. This segment involves a recent bedtime
where I was telling stories in the dark, laying on
(47:07):
the ground, brending my phone in their in their beds,
and then they decided that they wanted to try their
hand at telling some stories. Uh, poor recording quality because
it was the last minute's secret recording, but enjoy. Oh yeah,
will you start to drop this story over the money?
(47:28):
There is Peter the Bran and you went to school
and you talk too pregnant and he I'm gonna tell
you too, and I teach yourself, okay um, And he said,
(47:58):
what did the butt say? Is cans come? Yeah? Theacher said,
I don't know. And that was so so ar it
was how armed it was said, you know that was good?
(48:34):
Why and and your drink? And Andrews the coconut, Let's
tell that's funny. I want to let's take turns. Maybe
do you want to tell the stories. Let's do it
one at a time. Maybe you're trying to tell story.
You take out your and told us the story. What's
(48:57):
what's so fine? Kind him? Okay, starting to fart for me? Story?
(49:22):
Good story. That's my girl. Yeah, that's my girl. She
loves farts, farts big. Our kids are really in the
poopin farts right now. And you can see how I
handle it, which is to embrace it and encourage more
(49:43):
of it. I mean, we probably have a good I
don't know ten years left of fart jokes with these guys.
Are you kidding me? We have so much more than
how old are we? But I you know I'm not
tired of it yet. No, it's look forward to anymore. Again.
I am worried about them doing this to strangers and
(50:06):
being a gross little weirdo. What kind of stranger in
the right mind wouldn't laugh at a kid making a
first I mean, what did the butts say to the skunk?
That is a top notch joke the skunk. It's perfect
because the skunk is so misleading because you're like, what
(50:26):
did the butt say to the skunk? You're like this
is going to be about too stinky. Yeah, they're both stinky,
so it's gonna be like you stink, But no says
one thing. He just sneaks right and they the butt's
not thinking about any of that. It's flawless. The more
I think about it, they realized, like, I've never written
(50:46):
a joke that pure. Uh, And that is what's this
se called. We knows what they're what they're saying. We
knows what they're saying. All right, this has been We
Knows Parenting. We're doing this outro while our daughter is
(51:08):
crying in bed, so quickly while we're still here, please
go rate review, subscribe the podcast on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter,
at we Knows Pod. You can find us that we
Knows Pod, we Knows Parenting dot com. You can email
us so we knows uh pot at gmail dot com
if you want to send us a question or story,
share something. Would you know scenario? We also have a
(51:31):
Google voicemail number. It's not in front of men. Go
to our website. May uh, what's our website? We knows
parenting dot com for merch and our phone number and
all of that. Do you know how to find us?
You do? Oh? And I'll say again. Check out the story.
Pirate's new album, Nothing Is Impossible. It is literally amazing.
(51:52):
Check it out on iTunes, Apple Music, Spotify, wherever you
get your jams, and Yo, we'll see you next time.
Yeah bo
We Knows Parenting News
Hosts And Creators
Beth Newell
Peter McNerney
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