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April 24, 2024 6 mins

Today’s Phone Tap victim has been nervous about being let go by his job. But no worries! Jose's calling to tell him his job is safe, as long as he hands over all those vacation days…

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
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Speaker 2 (00:16):
Out of everybody in this room, who would be the
worst HR person? I'm just gonna say it, Jose.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
I didn't want to be selfish, but I was gonna
say yeah, no offense to that.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
But that's why we had him pose as an HR rep.
And today he calls an office worker who's been nervous
about layoffs. We want him to know he is fine,
His job is safe. It's just corporate is making some
changes that are quote in the best interest of the company. Yeah,
I'm sure he'll understand. In your phone town right now.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
Hello, good morning. Hi is this Phil? This is Phil?
Who am I speaking to? Hey Phil? My name's Heywood Jabloni.
I work in human resources. How are you doing today?

Speaker 1 (01:08):
I'm fine?

Speaker 3 (01:09):
Thanks? Oh just fine? Huh. I was hoping you were
going to be in a better mood than just fine
before I told you this news.

Speaker 1 (01:17):
No, I'm in a good mood. What do you want
to tell me?

Speaker 3 (01:20):
Why are you calling? Well you probably heard that we're
reducing our workforce, right, Oh oh my god. No, no, no,
listen before you get ahead of yourself. You're not getting
laid off or anyone in your division. All your jobs
are safe. Okay, take a deep breath. Okay, I was

(01:40):
kind of worried for a seconds there.

Speaker 2 (01:42):
Oh, sorry about that.

Speaker 3 (01:43):
No, you're you're fine. We're just taking all your vacation
days away. Yeah, you typically have around what twenty twenty
vacation days? I see here? Right? Yeah, by Friday, you'll
have zero. How does that make any sense? Well, I
mean you would agree this is a tough time for

(02:05):
the company. Yeah, well sure, I understand those things. Well,
if you're saying that, think of how hard it is
for the people above you getting paid way way, way more.
Those guys are stressed. I'm the ones who's stressed paycheck
to paycheck. Well, sure, I mean it's it's tough for
everybody right now, but especially for the guys at the top.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
What are you about with so much uncertainty?

Speaker 3 (02:33):
They can't even golf more than twice a week. Think
about it. That's why recently they all met and said, hey,
how can we help this company and take a tax
free vacation to the Bahamas? What a vacation? Oh? Sorry,
a tax free vacation to the Bahamasa free vacation for them.

(02:55):
I know, right, it's it's a tricky thing to do,
and so this is why they got creative. The account
said it has to be on the company dime. So
if you take all the employees' vacation days away, we
can legally ride it off. The whole thing, including the alcohol. Joke, right,
I mean it sounds like some kind of freaking joke. No, no,

(03:17):
it's not. Hey, we appreciate your sacrifice. Don't think you're
going unappreciated. Friend, I'm not sacrificing anything.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
You took it away from me, well I didn't give
it again.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
We appreciate and understand everything you've done. No, that's why,
as a token of the company's gratitude, you and everyone
in your division will receive four small chocolates in a
plastic box. How does that help. It's not going to
be available to Christmas because that's when we get the discount. Oh,
it's unbelievable.

Speaker 1 (03:51):
I know.

Speaker 3 (03:51):
You'd be excited.

Speaker 1 (03:53):
What's wrong with you?

Speaker 3 (03:55):
Chocolates small chocolates, I have to I don't want you
to think they're like bars. They're just like bite size chocolates.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Is not right. I cannot lose my vacation days because
corporate wants to get hammered in the Bahamas and I
get four lousy chocolates.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
That is one part I didn't tell you. It's not
just the Bahamas. We're also going to the Virgin Islands.
So wait a minute, why are you saying, Lee, you're
not going on the trip. You're in human resource? Oh yeah,
I didn't mention that part. They're bringing HR. I have
never been outside the country. I couldn't be more excited.

Speaker 1 (04:33):
And they're just gonna leave us here with nothing.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
And lost days.

Speaker 3 (04:38):
And don't be thinking you can use your sick days
to get time off. We put a temporary freeze on that.

Speaker 1 (04:44):
Now.

Speaker 3 (04:44):
Now you need to email us if you think you're
gonna be sick at least a month in advance. How
do I know what I'm gonna get sick. I won't
be checking my email though I'll be in the Bahamas
or the Virgin Islands.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (04:57):
Personally, I agree. I would blame this on She's the
one who set you up for all this. What ain't
she going on that trip through without many She'd definitely
like to, but she decided to do a prank phone
call on you instead, which I appreciate. What are you
talking about, idiots, because this is actually Jose for the
Raidersow Brook and Jeffrey in the morning. We're doing a
phone tap on you man. No way, Yes, he just

(05:22):
said there's He's got a lot of tension in the
office lately because of layoffs, so she wanted to lighten
the mood.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
I cannot believe he did this. Hilarious neither.

Speaker 3 (05:33):
Oh, you know what you need? You need a vacation.
You meet Bahamas tomorrow. What do you say? I guess
we'll have to go quick because you're taking all my
vacation days. We got the Friday, gotta go all right? Well,
truth is I probably belong more in the Virgin Islands
because I'm a Virgin. You get okay, I'm gonna stop
the prank phone call. Now, this part isn't funny.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
Wake up every morning morning, Brook and Jeffrey in the
morning
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