Ridiculous Crime

It's the American Dream to reach these golden shores, work hard, make your fortune, and see your name go down in history. Charles Ponzi did all that, just not in the way the law intended. He perfected the pyramid scheme to such a degree, they just named the whole thing after him. Not the legacy you want in life. 

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Born into a mob family, "Cowboy" George Martorano was pretty much destined to run afoul of the law. A non-violent guy in a roiling sea of brutality, he sold a whole lotta weed (and an even greater quantity of quaaludes). Like many drug smugglers, he wound up behind bars. But a life sentence for a first time, non-violent offense? Ridiculous.

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A woman with a muddled biography and a life of clever and not so clever endeavors, Pearl Hart was dubbed by the press as the Girl Bandit, the Last Stagecoach Robber, the Bandit Queen. Except she really wasn't. But she kind of was. Like her personal history, it's complicated.

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He was the man at the heart of a Texas-sized Ponzi scheme that amassed billions in fraudulent profits via offshore banking. Despite his huge donations in Antigua and US politics and his investment in international cricket and polo tournaments, Allen Stanford’s empire of lies came undone when his literal blood brother turned state’s evidence.

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When you find yourself in a real pickle, a tight spot, a dangerous proposition in 1800s Hell's Kitchen, just ask yourself: what would Stumpy Malarkey do? What would Battle Annie do? What would Mallet Murphy do? How will I get out of this? Am I a time traveler? And what's my special nickname? No time to worry about all that. Start throwin' bricks! 

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When a young feisty gal with nothing to lose met a young tough fella with nothing to lose, the only thing they could possibly lose was the spark between them. And there was no stopping that. They made no money, but they lived lives of wild luxury and excitement. How? Robbery! 

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Wherever you find people competing for a prize, if the number of them grows large enough, eventually, you will have cheaters. In the niche worlds of competitive stone-skippers, hog hunters, and British trivia shows, Zaron and Elizabeth ferret out some ridiculous examples. Let the games... and the crimes... begin!

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This heist team was more meticulous than most. They planned, they schemed, they made years of dry runs and observations. And the plan went off without a hitch. After the plan? Not so much. In a sort of early Stanford Marshmallow Test, these crimers just couldn't delay gratification. And for that, they paid the price.  

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In this round-up of recent tales of fakers, fraudsters, and phonies, Zaron shares with Elizabeth a smorgasbord of stories of fake bears, phony medical emergencies on Mount Everest, and a fraudulent influencer abduction to get at the truth of why we can't trust anything any more. And get this: no AI was involved in this episode.

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Randy Lanier started as a construction site weed dealer and over the years graduated to major drug smuggler, bringing hundreds of tons of grass into the USA. To add to the risk factor, he also became a Formula One driver and team owner. So much fun! Until it wasn't.  

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He was a man born into crime. He came from a family of British hard men. Movies were made about the men of his family. He was also enraptured by the criminals he saw depicted in other crime classics. All of this combined to make him a nepo baby of crime. But John McAvoy surprised the world and himself when he forged a new identity, thanks to a rowing machine. 

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It takes money to make money. And sometimes, you take someone else's money to make your money. You know how that goes. Marc Dreier was a flashy lawyer with a cash problem. Luckily, he had rich clients to impersonate. Problem solved! 

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Sometimes you fight the law and the law wins, but other times... luck is on your side and you win. That's the story here today. A pair of treasure hunters go to extraordinary lengths to recover lost gold and then have to fight the law to win the rights to their find. And as always things get... ridiculous!

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London in the late 1600s was a little chaotic. So it only makes sense that an agent of chaos like Mary Carleton would become famous for her crimes. Crimes like repeated bigamy and stealing pants in the night. An audacious woman determined to chart her own path, she wrote her own pamphlets like some olden times Riot Grrrl and made herself a witness to history along the way. 

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Whether we're talking the hand of Mary Magdalene, the Skull of St. Foy, the Bones of St. Mark, in the Dark Ages holy relics were ripe for the taking. Thieving monks, conspiring bishops and rebel princesses all went to outrageous lengths to secure the blessings of the bones and body parts of the saints. Sometimes crime requires a little faith. 

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