Ridiculous Crime

In the early '90s, the Chicagoland area was home to a bank robber known for wearing very specific masks –– masks of former US presidents. Notably, he wasn't inspired by the classic bank-robbing surfers film, and Point Break wasn't inspired by him, it was all just a...ridiculous crime.

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With debt mounting and no relief in sight, John Darwin figured his only option was to fake his own death. One sunken kayak and a complicit spouse later, he found himself in Panama with no clothes on. But that didn't last. Nothing ridiculous ever does. 

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Musicians get arrested... a lot. These singers, songwriters and superstars were busted in some of the dumbest, weirdest, silliest ways possible. Johnny Cash. Amy Winehouse. Ol' Dirty Bastard. Bob Dylan. Frank Zappa. All of them got popped for some... ridiculous crimes.

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As if the whole cryptocurrency thing wasn't ridiculous enough, enter Heather Morgan aka Razzlekhan. An entrepreneur and amateur rapper, she and her husband, Dutch, lived large. The source? Hacked bitcoin. Can't get enough of these clowns and their techno criming? Fear not, there are plenty of film and tv adaptations in the works. The grift lives on. 

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"Have you seen this man? Single, lonely, grouchy, rumpled and very possibly. the richest thief who ever lived..." so wrote the Washington Post in 1997 after one man ripped off his employer, the Loomis–Fargo armored car company. Phil Johnson stole 21 cubic feet of cash –– and he had a plan to get away with it. But a man's ego is a helluva thing!

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What do hairdressing and bank heists have in common? Precision...and a man named William Smarto. A clever bank burglar, Smarto managed to pull of a bank job almost as big as Dolly Parton's wig budget.

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His hero was DB Cooper. So he imitated his skyjacking ransom down to the letter. Only Martin McNally had never used a parachute before he became a skyjacker. And he never expected someone to play the hero with a '71 Cadillac Eldorado.

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As Orson Welles would say, "Ah, the French." Here, in a lead up to the French Revolution, we consider the tale of one randy Cardinal, one social climbing almost-noble, one doomed queen, and one hideous diamond necklace. C'est ridicule (especially Elizabeth butchering all French pronunciation)!

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Meet Antoine Yates, the man who raised a tiger in a fifth-floor public housing apartment in Harlem. Until, one day, the tiger remembered that it was a tiger. But Antoine didn't just live with a tiger, he also had a lion and a full-grown alligator. Naturally, this one is both wild...and ridiculous!

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Aaron Tonken was celebrity obsessed from a young age, so naturally he made his way to Hollywood. He also made his way into the good graces and wallets of many entertainment icons. With phony or plain chaotic charity galas, Tonken fleeced the rich and famous in one whirlwind fever dream of a conning career.

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An ultra-wealthy British son of a Royal Naval officer partnered with a Danish master of disguise to become major players in the international drug-smuggling scene. And they would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those pesky... Welsh lobstermen and farmers' daughters.

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With a love of robbing banks and the love of a good woman, Forrest Tucker pulled off heists with no violence involved. Plenty of arrests ensued, but so did plenty of prison escapes. He was a man with a life so extraordinary, Robert Redford played him in a movie...that put Zaron to sleep.

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At the end of the 19th century, two outlaws made names for themselves around the world, but over time both have been forgotten. This week, we resurrect the tales of these outlaw folk heroes. Lady outlaws.

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He ran for sheriff, saying he'd take on the mob. Instead, he lined his pockets with their cash. He ran for Congress, saying he'd fight for working Americans. Instead, he had people work for him for free. All the while, James Traficant made a name for himself with his denim suits and a hideous hairpiece. In the words of ol' Jimbo himself, beam me up!

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Imagine a horse. Now imagine if that horse could read your mind. And imagine you paid for this experience. You would be in good company –– even the President of the USA listened to the prophecies of Lady Wonder, the psychic horse. Of course, it was all a long con. 

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Getting a degree is tough work. Or at least it should be. There are some out there, though, who want to get or give a college diploma the easy way: hot off the presses, no questions asked. From fake high school diplomas to phony medical degrees, come browse the college catalog of bogus academic achievement.

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Known locally as the Robin Hood of the Great White North, Ken Leishman was a gentlemen thief who pulled off the greatest Canadian gold heist ever. But he really made his name and criminal fame when he took to the skies and became... The Flying Bandit.

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What do Fats Waller and Jimi Hendrix have in common –– other than both being brilliant musicians who changed the course of American music? The answer is: they were both kidnapped... by the mafia! But it's cool, it's cool... who would ever wanna hurt them?

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The Ridiculous crews, both History and Crime, join forces to play everyone’s favorite guessing game: 20 Questions. There were questions. There were answers. There were half court shots at the buzzer. Join the gang for some puzzling good fun!

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