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March 21, 2022 34 mins

Sludge asks Perry to join him in his plot for revenge. Perry rejects him and barely escapes. He ends up in the forest and dozes off, dreaming of his seventh birthday in San Francisco. When he awakens he is still in San Francisco. He realizes he too has power in Absentia. Sludge appears and gives Perry one final chance. Perry snatches Sludge’s magical glasses off of his face, sends the signal back to San Francisco, and runs for it, a now weakened Sludge in hot pursuit. Back in San Francisco, Charlie Evans tells the other Laundronauts an older JD is haunting his dreams. They are stunned. How can Charlie know about Sludge? Will Perry escape Absentia? Tune in.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Laundronauts is a production of My heart Radio. This
is what we remember and remember, this is what it
sounded like. What we couldn't hear, we made up. The
rest of it is ultrue. You are giving me such

(00:29):
a headache. Excuse me, ma'am, how do you vot? Giant
boy the elderly man, he were wondering if he hello, am,
I laid for my own funeral A thousand pardons, a truck, us, toilette,
and proper evacuation were in dire me, sir, ma'am. Children

(00:53):
all well in the wild wooly world. Taken me how
and we fair? We're a first. Longed on our challenge, children,
and get a lick of sleep, Sir. I can't remember
anything for my dreams, and I'm exhausted. Well, we don't
always succeed on our first attempts, little ones. The two

(01:15):
tests of characters. Whether we have the resolve to continue
on in the face of that failure? Yes? Yes, now donight?
If while you sleep, tell yourself that you didn't see
anything strange in your dream the slightest operation. Perhaps the
dog is weak, cherry kool aid is raining from the sky.

(01:38):
Tell yourself you will notice disapperation, and by noticing, will
remind yourself that you're dreaming. In that moment, you'll become lucid.
You understand now. Such was Perry's predicament in the dreamlike
world of Absenture. As you'll recall, he had barely escaped

(01:59):
sludgist clutch, stolen his power wielding glasses, and sent his
return signal back to San Francisco on the pocket watch.
He now had fifteen minutes to get to the invisible
keyhole to complete the extraction. The plum proved to be
no passive partner in the proceedings. Surrounding Perry in a

(02:21):
cocoon of cocoanut and laven. Left blind to everything but
the inside of the cozy, quiet cockoo, Parry relied on
the plums pur to guide him onto his destination. After
five minutes, the plums enthusiasm slowed. Then hold it all together.

(02:43):
Parry paused, held a watch above his head. The plum
remained still. He swiveled a quarter turn. The plum began
to purr again. Parry darted off in that direction. The
ground began to rise. He was on the slope. Perry
had no idea where sludge was, whether he was following, watching,
waiting for him. At the summit, the incline grew steeper.

(03:06):
Perry leaned into it, the change in the temperature he
was in the mountain. He pushed forward to the white
water of sucks up the winding staircase. The plums started
dancing madly in his hand. Come out, come out wherever
you are, rabbityamty girl. Perry leaped. Jady's voice was like

(03:27):
a hiss in his ear, but Perry was still alone
in the cocoon. A cheeny, wheepy, so cleanfully breath and stays.
Perry checked plum three minutes in cutting the shades of
Nuance was suddenly in his hand. Tack, tick, talk, break
your glasses, j D. That not be smart, Perry, Yeah,

(03:52):
why's that? Maybe you don't force you to give me
peer don't don't do that. There was panic and Jady's voice.
If you give them back, I'll let you go Perry unharmed.
Perry checked the plug two minutes What about revenge the invasion?
All it's old time and proper order, rabbit. You can

(04:14):
still be of assistance to me on the other side.
What do you mean place the glasses on the ground
back away. Send Benny, next, Penny, Why Benny, he's too big?
Figure it out. Perry checked plump one minute, didn't counter.
He took her deep breath, placed j D's glasses on

(04:35):
the crowd. He took seven steps backwards and hit the
signal on the plump. The mischievaporated, leaving Perry fully exposed
on the summit. The keyhole was directly above his head,
sacks cascading down on. J D was standing near yards back,
unaware Perry had reappeared. Kerry watched him for a moment

(04:59):
and feelings so Jady looked even sicklier without his glasses.
J D leaped turned. He quickly sized up the situation,
the glasses, Perry, the distance between them. You are way
too trusting, Perry Akiyama head again. Yeah about that middle name.

(05:20):
J D voted for the glasses. I'm going to resurrect
that sucker. J D leaped for the glasses, but just
before he could reclaim his prize, the specs inexplicably leaped
off the ground, sword backwards and landed softly in the
Perry's hand. What very little glasses dropped, They stopped in midair, dangling.

(05:44):
He winked revealing the almost imperceptible yoyo string tied to
his finger, the other end latched to the tape bridge
of j D Specs, three times champion at Saint x Blasco.
Got absolutely no da gama on me back, tell me

(06:04):
right now. Jady's eyes went to oil black, and he
charged madly, very calmly, yanked out the carrot. It was
glowing like a Roman candle about. He raised it high
above his head. J D threw himself and Perry, rubbing
his entire body A honestly, you're not going anywhere, rabbits

(06:27):
Katie green, very green, right back. Jeddy's eyes widened and hard.
He released Perry just as the bullwhip of light lit
up the sky, latching under the carrot, whipping Perry back
up into the keyhole, but now in order first to

(06:48):
venture firebly onwards to the resolution of Perry's londronautical proper
children and was first briefly bound backwards. In Times San Francisco,
just before Jonaka was awakened by Perry's signal, Janica had

(07:10):
just returned from an extremely unsatisfying emergency laundron not meeting
called by Mona, I'm in favor of the rhino. Perry's
parents were returning soon. Decisions needed to be made. Benny
a k A. The Rhino had lost fifteen pound quitting

(07:32):
soda pa and walking his dog, and could now fit
through the Jumba charmed door. Benny was beyond excited with
the results. Jonathan was not entused on married abone. I
should deeps on the next incourasion. I just find socks.
I'm killing with Charlie in his dreams. I'm Parry's liaison.

(07:52):
I think she voiced none of this out loud, of course,
well groomed by her mother Lafleete, she knew to always
sucrefice your needs. T was the needs of the whole.
What do we say when you get lost? Genesee Coffin

(08:12):
happy homemaker is a mannabble. She will always respond with
an amen to the majority right and then ah so.
Jonnicha remained amenable, voted along with the group and return home.
And at four thirty three am Wednesday, April one nine,

(08:38):
as her eyes were beginning to close, Plump two's alarm
went off on her nightstand like a tin woodpecker on
a crystal tree. Jonnaicer sprang humor like in action. She
slipped on her pree prepared clothes, pulled out her prepacked
go back from an either bed one next to her
prepacked day bag, and turned it out the window. She

(09:02):
sprinted all the way to the washertium and arrived drenched
and sweat chugging icy clouds into the air. Janica had
to shimmy up the drain pipe and unlutched the window
they had left unlocked. She dropped inside and checked the plug.
Five minutes. She clicked on her flashlight and cooked down

(09:23):
the hallway to the main room, swinging her beam around
the corner to the jumbotrok. Large mouthed and lurking, she
unlocked the door of the machine, checked flood. Four minutes
and counting. She stipped back down the hallway and found
a bucket and mop. Happy homemaker is always prepared for

(09:44):
any ventureround, she wheeled it back to the main room,
swinging her beam around the corner. Good old man curled
up at the foot of the jumbo trok. He was
wrapped dinner jumble of wet blankets, lying in a pool
of water. His face was a tangled tumble with the

(10:07):
whiskers and filth. The hair He was staring so loudly
it was like banging pipe beneath the floor, but his
face remained serene, like an infant. Jonica gently shook him.
Something caught in his throat, the froth a weeds. Then
he stopped reading all together. Jonka prepared to administer her CPR,

(10:31):
and the man hiccup and released the foul cloud of
wretchedness into the air. Jonica retreated, trying to disperse the
plume of noxiousness with fanning a hand. The man's side
rolled over, and the banging her pipes begin again with
renewed vigor, if not purpose. She checked plum three minutes.

(10:57):
She gritted her teeth and kicked the man in the ribs.
He set up white eyes, hacked up something solid, something
he immediately re swallowed, then hawked up a large ball
of olive green, hawking directly onto Jonica's boot. Jonica leaped back.

(11:17):
The man recoiled in terror. Don't hurt me. His voice
was like a rusty door on a broken hinge. There
was something familiar about him. His eyes, or lack there
all he kept them conspicuously averted from Jonica. Now she

(11:40):
ain't the police. Now get up and get out the
man stooard, but remained in front of the unlocked jumbo trump.
Then what you're doing here? Jonica checked plum. One minute,
I seen my laundry. Were you close? His eyebrows converged

(12:04):
like a couple of conspiring caterpillars. She grabbed his shirt
and tried to drag him away, but only managed to
rip his shirt and half. Jonica pointed behind him. He turned,
She shoved him aside and went out the orange pin.
She squeezed the ink into the machine, his bubble, the flash,

(12:28):
the wind. He ducked. The old man turned her shut
out of the machine into the old land. They crashed
to the floor in a tangle of bodies, blankets and
bubble water, And here children, as promised, at least foreshadow

(12:51):
that we pivot back to the deliciously delirious Denomon of
the Longdornautical of Periucky on my head again, a k a.
The Rabbit. Perry's entrance from absentia was far more painful
than his entrance into say, it didn't help that he

(13:12):
had barely escaped with his life, or that he fully
expected to have j D in tow. As he described
it later, I smiled, I couldn't help it. I knew
the trip would make j D hopping mad? Did he
try to stop me? Grabbed me? And he did? I
got so excited I smiled give it away. None of

(13:33):
that matter at the moment that Perry was currently falling
over a foul smelling old man and what appeared to
be too suffing serpents in the swamp of Sophy suddy water.
Very turned like a wind child Ja Johnica leaped into
his arms. Amazingly, he caught her. He had the urge

(13:56):
to twirl her like a baton. He kissed, turns it.
Jonica wrapped him in an embrace so all encompassing a
Parry no longer knew where she began, and he ended.
I gotta get a room. They were wrenched back to reality.
Who is he? He was sleeping when I got him?

(14:22):
Help kick him? What wardrobe? The man lumbered towards the door,
his blankets leading a snailed trail of sudsy water on
a stone floor. He stopped, I'm sorry for hurting you,
and continued on are you He's straightened, but didn't turn

(14:47):
neberty important. He stepped out with one of his blankets
snagged on a straight Maio, joking him back into the room,
suckling how do you and spun to them, revealing his
eyes fully for the first time. They were honey bee yellow,

(15:07):
fierce and piercing. He tugged the blanket, shot, ripping it
on the nail, and vanished into the night. Left behind
was a torn swatch of wet blanket. Jonaka shuffled over
and retrieved the abandoned soldier. I think that was the
hoover from Harry's heart ware I told you about. Jonica

(15:28):
turned back to him, and there was then that many dreams, desires,
and fears coalesced inside, and he realized it was happening
while he was dressed as a sock so perry AND's hip.
The air hit him like a tropical breeze, sucking up
the sweat, sending a shiver galloping across his new body.

(15:50):
He saw the change first in Jonica's eyes, look he
had never seen before in the eyes of a girl,
especially a girl looking at him. My taller, Yes, do
I look different? Yes? Is he good? Perry began to cry.
The sudden ferocity buckled him, dropped him to his knees.

(16:14):
It was so violent he thought he might break then
hands were on his back, Jonica's hands, pulling him back
to his feet. And it was then as Perry rose
next to Jonica, taking full possession of the space he
now owned on this planet. It was then that he
realized he was still Mount Perry, because Jonica, his once

(16:39):
eye to eye ally, was now looking up at him
to the valet of his now mighty chest. He stumbled backwards.
I don't feel right. Jonica was already wrapping him in
a blanket, lowering him to the stone floor. A thief

(17:00):
had him in its throat. He could feel it emanating
from his bones. He would take root, turn his blood
to slush, gains to icicle mabe. Maybe he could not
form the words through his clattering teeth. What Harry, what
do we do? I don't, I don't, I don't. She

(17:23):
tried to hold his shoulders. Can't carre it the efforts
of a new film convulsion. Jonica sprang for the socks,
fumbled through the pockets, flinging items, the yo yo, the glasses,
the map that harrot. She sensely shut down like a

(17:46):
few burning out doctors descended. He was sinking. Ice was
forming above him, Jonica standing it with the orange head,
her face melting and shattering into piece Joe. The fire
shot through Perry, releasing a can you hear me? He could,

(18:08):
but he couldn't get his tongue to work. Jonica, who
was backing away, tears on her face. I had to
hurt you. He shook his head. I could see the
going out. Finally, words or some semblance thereof. He reached
out for her, but she continued to back away. She

(18:30):
pointed to his chest. Perry touched the spot and looked
at his hand blood. He swooned again. I didn't know
what else to do. She began dressing his wound. The
touch was serious, and the Perry didn't mind. The warmth.
Family returned to his body and he stood on shaky legs.

(18:51):
Jonica stepped the black. What happened, Perry? My middle name
is Akiyama, Okay and Japanese American? Yeah, we all know. Back,
I guess I did it. The laughter eased the tensions
in the room. After it's subsided, they gathered up the thing,

(19:16):
and Parry took Jonathan's hand and walked her all the
way home. Can I hear usually right now? Fine? A
home crown? A bone shone blonezones of tone, telephone bones
and tones in their months alone. Perry gave her a
grateful hug. Hang on to that, you'll need it. What

(19:39):
do you mean? Perry kissed her on the cheek, and
then he walked all the way back to his own home.
And as he passed Mount Davidson, the morning sun glittering
off it's towering summer nine hundred and twenty eight feet
in the air, Perry raised his fist up to it
and shouted the fire I mounts Perry and a rabbit laugh.

(20:08):
And what happened next her? And that was the end
of the loundern article of Perry Hucky on my hanagan
iking the rabbit. What about Slurge asking Perry to join
him as an ally and wanting Perny to go in next.
We did not discover either of those two facts until
much later. Why Perry, light you, sir? It was more

(20:31):
a sinem omission, friar not unlike Nick and Mona and
their secret kiss on the mountain. Why would they do that?
Hard to say? Why people omit dear fear DoD embarrassment
to table memory. Perry was debriefed, of course, questions were asked,
but When pressed for his written account, Perry complained of

(20:53):
needing more time. It was Charlie Evans once again who
called us back to action. Indeed, so settled against sticklings
and prepare yourselves for the Londron article of Jonica Veronical
of fleet code name Jonnica. I thought he said he
was warty to go in next to a Benny was

(21:15):
voted to go in next. Nice settle was that begin
the London article of Jonaica Veronical of fleet code named
the Puma, submitted into the London Art Animals Monday, May fourth,
nine thirty nine. Jonica was not expecting the deluge of

(21:40):
dream correspondence she received Charlie Evan. She was barely expecting
a trickle. Everything poured out of Charlie's head he wrote
down and presented to Jonica when they met. Adding to
this tsunami of politicity was Charlie's horrible penmanship, of which
he was tremendously a shape. So he insisted on reading

(22:02):
his missus out loud while Jonica sat by and listened
to patiently. Ever, the happy homemaker Jonnica used the time
to li Charlie socks, hats, matins, mufflers, and scars, and
then I just kind of walked around in the circle
for a while until the oatmeals and the peanut butter,
and then I started swimming and chi. Yeah, let's keep

(22:23):
these j D pertinent. What does that mean If it
doesn't have anything to do with D, I don't want
to hear it. Oh, okay, I got you. Hey, thanks
for the scarf. By the way, it's a little short though.
Don't you think that's because it's a sock. Oh, I'm
looking on the other one. See rainbow striped. Nothing wrong

(22:45):
with some color. I ate a piece of juicy fruit. No,
you are more beef jerky. Was that a joke? Yes? Okay,
I gotta go fire. Jonico was lying she was late

(23:08):
for her next longer enough media. Three cheers from parryaki
yama hennigan ok y I see you managed to unearth
your mysterious middle named Perry. I did, Nick, I also
unearthed my mother tongue. So a blessing as no knockany eiko? No,

(23:34):
that mean may a thousand bees nestle in your nether regions.
That doesn't sound like Harry. Bring forth the items. Perry
stepped forward and place j D spectacles this map from
absentia on the floor. We gathered around reverentially stupid taped
up glasses. Why are they so important? I don't know,

(23:56):
but he wanted them back real bad and he definitely
headless power tell them. I called them the shades of Nuance.
Nit huh. Let's see that map, I said, excitedly, being
an average tuk off for myself. It's still a work
in progress. Very nervously note and I wrote the handgrown
map he had been working on diligently since his return.

(24:20):
Mona no next year. Mean chased it with her index finger.
So this is where the clocks went with the imprisoned sockling. Yes,
I call it Cataclusmina. I'm marked the trail right to it.
This is sock Mountain, this is rainbow stripes plane the
ominous Force. And this is when the city of Flocks
came out of the ground. What's that right there? Jonica

(24:40):
pointed to a large object drawn in the middle of
the forward. Is it another mountain? Wait? Is that your
face on it? Perry? That's a mistake. Perry snatched up
the map. It's not yet stuffed it back into a bag.
The favorite again, Perry. Nope, We've all kind of been
wondering about what. Why did it? Mona and I get

(25:02):
sick when we return from absentia. Don't know, really, no
thoughts on the matter, nada, any after effects from being
stabbed by the carrot. I asked, Nope, you sure you're okay?
Perry House Charlie same. I noticed he has a new
pair of mittens and a matching muffler, so we backed

(25:26):
away from the pair. Not unlike Nick and Mona's relationship,
the Jessaka and Perry diet had also taken on new
complexities upon Perry's return. I'm just being nice, Perry to
Charlie Evans, the guy who stuffed me in a locker,
the guy who tossed j D into a washing machine.

(25:47):
I'm trying to help, maybe save it for someone who
deserves it, Oh like you. Perry and Jonica turned away,
borrowing like steaming tea kettle. The questions at hand are
what do we do with the information we now have,
how do we use these items to get j D back?
And who goes next next? That was an emergency vote.

(26:10):
Benny Perry wasn't even here. We need to That's not fair.
It's already been the same Perry, who should go next?
Wait a second, that's Benny seems like a good choice.
Jenniker glared at Perry so intensely we all had to
look away. Benny has been voted next, and we will
honor that vote. Okay, Jonica, do you mind holding onto

(26:30):
the items until next we meet? Not at all, but
Jonica did mind. This was her emotional state that she
prepared for bed that night, and Charlie Evans suddenly appeared
at her window. Jonica reacted instinctively by pelting him in
the head with her shoe and knocking him out cold.

(26:50):
Minutes later, a gravty Charlie sat squeezed into one of
Johnica's tiny chair, holding a bag of ice against his
swelling head. Where did you get the ice? I always
bring ice when I come here? Why are you here, Charlie?
He pulled out a crumpled candy rapper and held it
out to her. J d asked me to deliver a message.

(27:13):
Jonica banned across the room and snatched the rapper from
his head. At the ultraware was sacrificed. I want you
to gather all the lentronage. I'm going to show you
something you will never forget. You don't go to check.

(27:33):
That's what I said, And when I did, a space
came right out of the dark times cap You're not trod.
That's still he sacrifice me when you take it not.
I woke up kicking and screaming on the floor, so
I did twenty push ups. C I wrote this down,

(27:54):
grabbed some ice and came on over. Jonica checked plum
ten three pm. We have one hour, in seventeen minutes
to get everyone to the wash Terrium by midnight. Charlie, okay,
John a couple out, her prefact go back the one
next year, her prefact stay back. Yeah, how do you
know my granny died from the Spanish flu back in

(28:15):
eighteen Good for a quarantine or when you're grounded. Although
straight to the wash Terrium, Charlie, you ask the aduction
meet me there. Got it, got it. It was difficult
to roast the rest of us in such a short
time and at such a time, but Charlie was determined,
and by eleven forty three pm we were all assembled

(28:35):
at the jumper try, all of us except Jona. Coo,
don't don't remind yourselves to night children dog with she

(28:56):
cooled from the sky, You too, making me looking up soon?
Holiday tomorrow? How time flies? That sucket watch or tiny

(29:21):
egg flimp? A little bit of both? What's that you do?
Wishing an old friend a warm and peaceful good night,
as I do to you too, madam? Happy Turkey day?
That are you having dinner? Oh there's so many invitations.

(29:41):
Saint Agnes doing nice meal? Ah? Yes, so many options.
Dah got so cotton to be sudden? Cotton's gotten rock? Hey,

(30:04):
Watch where you're walking, old man? Forgotten? Oh god, so forgotten?
Walk where I like some I'd rather bike if I
had one. I'll stutter up purple. I'm already even twerk.

(30:31):
I'll walk where I like. So watch what you're saying
all day? Sounds that bread step? Why do we just say?

(31:12):
I'll say what I want, boy, I speak truth to power,
to joy, I create, I destroy sometimes I anroy. I'll
say what I want. A little boy. What you do?

(31:44):
What you feeling? You'll be st should shoot? Do I've

(32:08):
seen what you're saying? My son? I prayed where you're playing?
I say here here red card her Feet've been praying
and playing when you're the laundron nuts a potentially untrue

(32:44):
tale based on actual events. Conceived, written and directed by
Colin mackenzie Mitchell. Original music, sound design and editing by
Dave McKeever. Produced by Monica Michlis and Dave McKeever, Script,
supervision and edit. Torial assistants by Christina Bryan. Casting by
Mary Claire Sweeters. Executive producers John Cameron Mitchell, Ed Asner

(33:08):
and Colin Mackenzie Mitchell, starring in order of appearance, Isaac
Robinson Smith as the Man and the Street, Alison Fraser
as the Woman and Madam Russia, Max Mitchell as the Brother,
Evan Tolk as the Sister, ed Asner as the Narrator,

(33:30):
Corey Krueger as j D and Sludge, Trevor Bernardino as Perry,
Lilly Risto as Mona, blue Bell Saracino as Jonaka, Kate
Prentergast as Mother Laflete, Stephen Kieran as Hoodwink, Noah Bentley
as Charlie Near Van Pal as Nick London Johnson as Benny.

(33:53):
The Laundronaut is a collaboration between I Heart Media and
Little Brother Sam Productions. Father For more podcasts from I
heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts. The Laundronauts is a

(34:15):
production of I Heart Radio.
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