April 4, 2022 • 32 mins
The Laundronauts prepare to explore Charlie’s dreams in an attempt to rescue Jonica who has been stranded in Absentia. Meanwhile, Jonica searches for Sludge with the help of the Socklings.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Laundronots is a production of I Heart Radio. This
is what we remember and remember what is, what it
sounded like, what we couldn't hear we made up. The
rest of it is ult It was a strange and
(00:25):
difficult thing to sneak into Charlie's third floor apartment in
the middle of the night. That we're all getting quite
a depth at scaling fire escapes and leaping through windows,
it still took an hour of synchronized slinking before we
were properly packed into Charlie's bedroob, his parents sleeping just
on the other side of his door. Won't they wake up? Nah?
(00:48):
Roscoe and Annabelle are deep into their jars by now,
why woul This was neither the time nor the place
to delve into the familial intricacies of the Evans hustle.
The forced intimacy of Charlie's bedroom was awkward enough, walls
bear and chipping the flims he caught, the only furniture
(01:09):
his floor a swamp of clutter. Charlie noticed our gas
looks and jammed his dirty clothes and comic books into
a closet, then hurriedly kicked an unusually wide assortment of
stuffed animals under his cot. He turned to us flush faced.
Somebody got something to say, Betty clearly and what's to
(01:29):
say on the subject, but managed to restrain himself by
chewing on his own hat. Now what time for night, Charlie?
You mean just stuck away some seats one way chipped
the dream land, shake hands with a sandman, I added,
getting caught up on the phone. This isn't gonna work.
Do you have a better plan, Perry? He didn't. Charlie
(01:50):
pulled back his covers and kicked off his shoes. No pjs.
Charlie gave Benny an icy glare and slipped under his cover.
Now what fall asleep? Then wake up? I added, without waking.
We converged on his cut. Then you'll need to find Jonica,
maybe get her a message. What kind of message? Morse code? Hush?
(02:15):
Perry maybe mentioned something you to discuss, Charlie, something she'd recognize.
Mona fluffed his pillow for it. Charlie laid back on it,
white eyes. Then you'll just have to win it, wing
it like a birdie. Nick clicked off the light and
slumped against the wall. The rest of us settled in
around the cut. Good night, Charlie, don't blow it, Chuckles,
(02:40):
watch it nightty night, Chuck. Stop, don't let the bed
box by it. I don't have the movie here for you, jolly,
I added, trying to sound reassuring. Charlie pulled the covers
up tight and slowly closed his eyes. This isn't gonna work.
What come on? That was not even a minute. Oh
(03:03):
my gosh. Yeah, do you've tried falling asleep? When you're
trying to fall asleep? Well, what do you usually do? Usually?
Just fall asleep? How about a bedtime story? Your folks
still reading bedtime stories? Nick maybe mine? Do? Really? Me do? I?
(03:23):
I can't remember the last time my folks read me
a story. What do you think, Charlie? What do you got, nicky?
Ricky Timbo? This is what Nicholas ray. Once upon a
time there were two Kibi birds stranded on top of
a mountain, surrounded on all sides by a raging ocean.
(03:47):
The tiny Kibi's greatest wish was to fly, but he
was a kiwi, and Keei's were flightless birds, born with
puny wings, like their cousins, the jodos and the ostriches
and the chickens. But this did not damp the tiny
kiwi spirits. He knew one day he would fly. The
big Kiwi saw this and his little brother, and it
made him puff up his chest feathers. One morning, the
(04:09):
little bird saw his brother disappear down the side of
the mountain, carrying branches, head leaves, and twigs in his beak,
only to return at sunset empty beat. The little Kiwi
was curious, but the big bird made him stay away.
It would be a surprise. Having a great fondness for surprises,
the little bird agreed. The older keep worked around the clock,
(04:30):
even when the little Kiwi fell asleep from lack of
food and water, and finally he limped back to his
little brother and puffed up his chest feathers. There was time.
The big Kiwi led his brother back to the cliff
and nodded. The little Kiwi shuffled to the edge and
peered over, his eyes wide in wonder as he saw, Hello, Hello,
(04:53):
great Now, who's gonna tell me a bedtime story? Was Nick?
The little kiewie ser m hm, excuse me? The qui Nick? Roy, sir?
Is he talked to me about himself and maybe his
brother Bobby. Well observed children, it is often the case
at the storyteller unwittingly or witting and beds his or
(05:14):
herself in the story he or her tells friendly of
waters in which to sink a swim. I suppose what
does that mean? It can sometimes be safer to lose
ourselves in our characters children. Their desires become our desires,
their dreams become our dreams, Their pain our pain. What
(05:38):
did the little key see, sir wide and wonder that
we shall learn an armed captain? But first he must
returned to our London artical proper, as Jonaka's yarn was
just beginning to unspool, like every good multidimensional municipaler be
(06:00):
the city of what the has an attic. But it
was an attic beyond any attic Jonica had ever seen,
rivaling even the pneumatic attic of a Great Granny Manny.
Great Granny man He was one of the few homeowners
in the Bay Area whose house still had an attic
and a basement since the quake of nineteen o six.
Basement sinatics but mostly four sworn in San Francisco. Not
(06:23):
so for Granny Manny. She was a rebel without a pause.
She once had a controlling husband named Norm that she
dismissed within hours of their nuptials after catching him a
wink at one of her bridesmaids. I didn't design more ever,
since he was one of three husband's great granny money
(06:50):
notched upon her darning wheel and subsequently discarded, he was
also the richest. Hence the house of the basement and
the attic. It contained all the keepsakes, heirlooms, and adventures
of Jonica's early years, including her penchant was cinnamon and
the lucky luck that she wore on her neck with
(07:10):
the picture of her mother as a child inside. When
Jonaica finally stepped off her suckling bridge and into the
city of what does attic, she discovered it was an
oddly thin chamber but impossibly high ceiling. At the far
end of the chamber stood an ornate throne fashion of
(07:31):
both wood and rock ingrained with watches, coins, pins, keys,
all the lost things of absence. Everything in the room
was borne from the chair, roots spread out from its feet,
forming a thick mossy floor. Branches stretched out from its
arms forming the walls, the roof, the windows that looked
out onto the skyway, and sitting in the mighty throne
(07:55):
was the mighty King of the city of what the
himself he was a tall suckling, touched the tweety head
adorned in the crown of alabaster thorns and brambles oudly.
The mighty King was quivering uncontrollably in his mighty throne
like a Catholic schoolboy about to burst into giggles. During massweet,
(08:19):
King mctweaty sprang from his throne, smashed his head against
the ceiling, and shattered his crown to pet The chamber trembled.
He then bounded across the room, gathered up Jonica, and
began dancing in a wild celebration. Jonacha held on for
dear life until she spied an opening, then kicked free
(08:39):
and dropped to the floor. The King, oblivias to her departure,
continued drawing himself about the room, almost clutching the object
of his own affection. Jonica pelted him in a gullet
with one of her boots. You're going to squash. Mctweaty
stopped dancing and bowed low and shame like a room
(09:03):
but tweeting dotted at the room into a chamber behind
his throat only the dirt back in, making sure Jonica
was still there, before dotting back into the chamber behind
the thrown again. He reappeared carrying a gift at bow
tie box the size of a refrigerator. The King sent
the box down in the middle of the room and
tiptoed into the corner. The king nodded and folded into
(09:27):
a footstool. Jonica approached the box cautiously. She found a
piece of red ribbon dangling within reach. She leaped, caught
it and tumped the box. Shook, rumbled, growled, Jonica doe
to the ground. The box exploded. Jonica rose standing in
a confetti blizzard was sp Jonica's heart did a double
(09:51):
half gain over the full forward twist. Slots's body did
an actual double half gain full forward twists. They threw
themselves into each other's arms and squeezed so tightly that
Jonica forgot where she ended, and spluts now began. Then
a new set of arms clamped around them, lifting them
behind in the air, and an even larger embraced but
(10:13):
tweety had joined the celebration during his Marvel's melee as
Jonica fun did not lose consciousness from old squeeze. She realized,
splotches your daughter. She the voice. Jonica kicked free from
the melee and dropped to the floor. Okay, that's enough.
(10:37):
The sucklings went still. Did you going to hear that voice?
The suckling shook their heads. Where is or slide whatever?
I want to see him right now? The king sighed
and gently placed his child back on the ground. He
shuffled back into the chamber behind his throat. Jonica looked
(10:57):
to splotch the suckling shrub. The king returned carrying a
cube of solid black. The cube was no larger than
an apple crape, but by the way mctweety was lugging
it in, it was heavy and dense. It had no seams,
no hinges, no nails, no rivets, just a single solid
(11:19):
block of black. The King set it down in the
middle of the room and backed away, motioning for Spots
and Jonica to do the same. They obeyed. The Tweety
touched his throne and the mossy floor wrapped itself around
the cube, forming a thick pod. The pod began to glow,
(11:39):
becoming transparent, revealing the cube held securely inside. The king
looked over Jonica warily what it was. Jonica had no idea,
but Tweety touched the throne and the cube melted into
a puddle. The puddle hissed and bubbled like tarked, then
(12:01):
congealed into a ball. The ball began to expand take shape,
the shape of a boy, a familiar boy, conspicuously not
wearing a pair of stupid taped up spectacles. J D
turn and kept turning. He stopped. Johnna moved closer to
the pod. The Suckling's tensed. His voice was like static
(12:26):
and I am radio submerged underwater. Where are you? I
can feel out of here right now. He purned out
the walls with his fists. The pod shook and swayed.
Does the want to calm down? Down? His body shimmered
and rippled like a mirage trying to take shape. He
(12:52):
pulled out a pocket watch and began swinging it from
its chain like a bolero. Rings of mustard yellow shut
out smashed into the prison wall. The pod shook and
swayed but remained intact. But Tweety touched his throne and
the pod contracted, mashing j D back into his dark
(13:13):
prison block. Jonica threw herself at the pod to him,
Splot settled up, trying to quell her raid. Jonica pushed
her away. What have you done? The voice again? Quiet?
The suckling shook their head. What I said, be quiet?
(13:38):
The suckling slid up towards Jonica, looking to comfort her.
She suddenly brandished the carrot. Stop they ovadue I wanted
to release right now. She jammed the carrot into the
pod and squeezed the pins ink course through the skin,
(14:02):
illuminating it. Then the fluid began eating to the walls
of the prison. The tendril slithered back into the mighty
chair shoot all that was left. With the black cue
sitting in the middle of the room. J D reformed
back to the boy, the boy without his stupid taped
up spectacles. It was then that Jonica remembered she had
(14:25):
those very same spectacles in her knapsack, a knapsack that
rarely left her person, but one that was now lying
in the rubble just behind j D's foot, closer to
him than to her. Did he turn to her, blinking
(14:45):
as if awakening from a long nap slatch. Please, I
prefer it. I don't see so well without my specs
you didn't find any chance to bring them with you,
did you, Ja, No, why are you here and not Benny?
That's your fault? Really? How so the vomitron you've had
(15:08):
to drown us some sauce at the washitarium. I got
caught in the reversal. And how exactly do you think
I accomplished those things? I've been imprisoned by this beast
since the rabbit took my glasses. Joniva looked at mc
tweety and splut. Then it must be someone else. Where
(15:31):
is your knapsack, Jonica? Do you really go anywhere without it?
Jonica shot a quick glance at it. The suckling sprang
across the room, cutting off his pad. J D slipped
down his pocket. I still have some power, your majesty.
I suggest you think this through very carefully before I think.
(15:56):
Excuse me, he's the one who that's his name. I
guess I gave it to him, but that's not She
breathlessly brandished the character. Everyone stop moving, something has obeyed,
j D sneered. You don't know what that will do,
(16:17):
neither do you, so vanished, Fine, no one's moving now? What?
Jonica plopped down onto the floor Splotch folded into a footstool.
J D stuffed his watch into his pocket and sank
like a leaky bicycle pump. The King was the last
to comply, gathering of Jennafer's knapsack into his body before
(16:41):
crumbling like an accordion. I Hearby called the First Grade
Council of the City of What to order the matter
of hand, couldwick? Who is he? What does he want?
Why do we here? The members of the first Grade
Council of the City of What looked at each other
in confusion, perhaps some refreshment. Mctweetie nodded. The sware of
(17:04):
Sucklings erupted from the chamber behind the throne, carrying biscuits,
tea needle and thread recorderie of cones, and a bountiful
bevy of brushian Jonica, Nibble and Sipwa. Mctweetie and Splutch
were ceremoniously brushed, stitched, and groomed while their attendees j
(17:24):
D sat and fumed like an overheated steam engine. See
that's much nassing. What do you care to beginner discussion? No,
what are your thoughts on? Huding? Clearly a direct Who
do you think he is? I'm not sure he even exists. Oh,
(17:46):
he exists, and he knows things, and he's able to
bridge both worlds in those blankets of his What about
those blankets they leaned into, Jonica, She leaned back, I
them warily. He said Absentia was his home, that he
was entangled and wanted to become unentangled. He said he
(18:08):
wanted Benny to go next into absentia? Is that true?
G D? Manny is just one in a long line
of torment as Johnnica, Just like you? When did I
torment you every time you didn't tell I'm sorry? Are
you really Johnnica? Bernica Lovely a k a. The Puma,
(18:31):
you who are oh so pretty and polite and patient
and perfectly perfect. I know it's so perfectly perfect. Why
do you think this hoodwink wanted you to go next?
I don't know. Because you're so perfectly perfect. He sents
you as my rival. What I'm not perfectly perfect? I
(18:53):
have plenty of faults, nay one besides your love of
standing on the sidelines, Jonica hesitated. The store is the
voice again, not just familiar this time, but specific. That's
because it's a sock John Charlie who are you talking to? Jonnica? Nobody,
(19:22):
Lire lire pants on fire, pooma. And it is here, children,
that we must pivot once again. The only way to
understand how Charlie punched his way through to Jonica to
have Charlie Evans described himself in his own words, in
his own voice. It will be charring. This is an addendum, children,
(19:43):
a supplemental chapter to the London Articles. So settle stitchlings,
as we did by collective toes into the shadows of
the mind of Charlie Evans. First thing I remember after
falling asleep is I'm my bed and you guys are
still staring at me. So I closed my eyes, thinking
(20:04):
maybe I'm still awake. Then I noticed none of you
have faces. Not only did none of you have faces,
but I could see into where your faces used to be,
like looking down a bunch of train tunnels. In Perry's face,
I saw a mountain walking towards me. In Mona's face,
I saw these white birds making shapes in the sky.
(20:25):
In Benny's face, I saw a bunch of red rhinos
playing leap frog or something. I decided it's time to
wake up, and it works. I'm sitting up, and I
feel this cold wind crawling over me, and I shout
to nobody, get me a blanket, please, I'm freezing my
butt off. Everything got a lot clearer and sharper. But
(20:45):
you guys were gone, and I wasn't in my room.
As a matter of fact, I wasn't nowhere. I was
sitting in a big old world of nothing. I look
at my hands, but I can't see him. I can
still feel him, but I can't see um. I hear
a noise like a bug in my ear. I try
to listen, but it's real painful. I tell myself, you
(21:08):
listen no matter what. Okay, And the buzzing slowed down.
It became words, like solid things, flowing by me, one
word at a time, all rotten, gott. They ruled by
(21:30):
faster and faster, spinning me like a tar. I got
so dizzy, I just sparked out my mouth. Came words,
solid words, but these words were different. They were mine,
A broke bloke who joked of coke and smoked croaked
(21:56):
jokes to coach the even my rootle garta jump op
to the crowley in a cloth and gonna jump smokes theround.
Just know they wants were lost behind? Does shows pose cloaks?
(22:22):
Now they're in your yokes? Stop somebother folks gotta jump
up to the cloth and smoke croaks. Hope to the
glove and smoke crounks. I had something solid a wall
(22:50):
I couldn't see. I shout, I don't like this dream
no more. The wall becomes like a window. Something on
the other side, Charnica. She was walking on a bridge,
A bridge made of socks. I got so excited. I shout,
what they take a great coat? Jonica stopped. I shout again.
(23:13):
Nice pair of men's starts walking faster. Um, maybe a
solid pair of warm boots. She starts running about. A bell,
maybe a half a lightweight lit comb, A comer? What hello?
Is someone else in here with me? Well, that depends
on your definition of someone, Charlie? And here? Who is that?
(23:36):
Call me? Good wink? I calling you nothing, pal? What
are you doing in here? Just a traveler passing through, Charlie.
Not unlike you. You're passing through my head. My apologies, Charlie.
It's just that I'm not all the way here yet
or there. Really I need your help me. Don't awaken
(23:59):
no matter what you or here until I get home.
If you do that for me, Charlie, I will help
you get Jonica to her home. Listen, I don't know
who you are, pal, so I'm not helping you do nothing.
If you did know me, Charlie, would that relieve your apprehension?
Charlie remembered Mona's words, just so, Charlie wounded. Okay, Mr Hoodwink,
(24:27):
who are you? I was born in ABSENTI yeah you
there now? In a way? Yes, in a way. No.
I am caught in between like you, But I thought
I was dreaming. You're a very special boy, Charlie. Your
dreams are a window into many places. One of those
places is where I am. I call it the cloak room.
I'm stuck here. You see. I need you to keep
(24:49):
this window open long enough for me to get home.
If you do that for me, Charlie, I will help
you get Jessica back to her home. Charlie was a
d Winder's student fast, so this was a lot for
him to chew on, but he was determined. Okay, Mr Hoodwink,
I'll help, but I got some prerequisitions first. I'd expect
(25:12):
nothing less from such a unique and talented First, thing.
Stop buttering me up like a morning room. Apologies. Second thing,
show yourself. As I mentioned earlier, I'm not all the
way here, Charlie, neither am. I put your back into it, Pal,
(25:33):
I shall do my best. Suddenly there was a man
standing next to Charlie, a tall man and a golden lobe,
with a black hood pulled down low over his face.
He was like a mirage on a hot summer road.
Every time Charlie tried to get a good look at him,
(25:53):
he melted away, only to reform elsewhere. Tad. How else
might tire Ama Dad get a message back to the punks?
What kind of a message? Tell him? I made contact
with Jonica. I think she heard me. If I might offer, no,
you cannot, then I want you to deliver their message
(26:15):
back to me word for word. Do not lie, because
I'll know that's one of them things that makes me special.
M very well. But afterwards you have to do something
for me. Charlie understood, Quit broke well, quit pro whom
brace yourself. I'm not quite sure what's about to happen,
(26:38):
so started rushing at Charlie like someone changing the radio
images rolled by on the indivisible roll. The images took shape.
For the sound, Jonica and the arms of the giants
suck dancing wildly splotch if you daughter, she'd make a
mean pair of vajaha mus The screen got fuzzy again,
(27:02):
and Charlie was in his bedroom. That didn't sound like Charlie.
Do you think it's another trap? Do you think it's fluts?
I don't know. I'm just telling you. I'm right here.
He was talking to us in a sleep. It sounded
like someone else. Hey, it's me, Charlie. Hello, dangn it hoodwink. Yes, Charlie.
(27:31):
Why can't they hear me? I don't know. Did you
tell them what I asked? Yes? Tell him I'm watching
right now herdwink do it or the deals off. I'm
watching you right now. Everyone in the room went still.
(27:54):
What is my hand doing? Charlie chapped her foot. She's
do We're nothing with her hand. I think that's the point.
Tell him that. Tell him like me, you ain't doing
nothing with your hand. Ramona for room, You're tapping your
stupid toe on the ground. It's Charlie. It still doesn't
(28:17):
sound like you. There was a noise from the adjoining room.
We went statue uisque heurel. Do you have friends over?
He looks desperately to Mona talk your mother, Chuck, don't
make her come in there. Why can't you go in?
(28:40):
Tell Jonaica to get to the keyhole, Charlie. Have her
send the signal on plumb too. We'll pull her through
at fifteen minutes. Somehow, she's warning you'll, Chuck, come on,
get it together. The bedroom melted away to Jonica sitting
with j D and the suckling's in the throne room.
(29:01):
I'm not perfectly perfect. I have plenty of faults than one,
besides your lover standing on the sidelines. Jonica hesitated. The
score is too small. That's because it's a song, Janica. Charlie,
(29:21):
who are you talking to? Jonica? Nobody? Your your pants
on fire? Boomers, Come on, not now, that's not there, sir,
life really is Please You cannot blows on other people's
(29:48):
Look to your other children. She needs you now, Captain,
follow the leader your somnambulistic sense. She will guide you
to dream like success. We will return to the Pumas
for Dickamon denon one way. We are such stuff as
(30:17):
streams made on and our little life has rounded bo Sleep. Indeed,
The Laundronauts are potentially untrue tale based on actual events. Conceived,
written and directed by Colin mackenzie Mitchell, original music, sound
(30:40):
design and editing by Dave McKeever, Produced by Monica Michless
and Dave McKeever. Script supervision and editorial assistance by Christina Brian,
Casting by Mary Claire Sweeters. Executive producers John Cameron Mitchell,
ed Asner and Colin Mackenzie Mitchell, starring in order of appearance,
(31:01):
Isaac Robinson Smith as the Man and Ruscoe Evans, Alison
Fraser as the Woman, Great Granny Manny and Madam Russia.
Ed Asner as the narrator, London Johnson as Benny, Noah
Bentley as Charlie, Trevor Bernardino as Perry, Lily Resto as
(31:21):
Mona Near von Paul as Nick, Max Mitchell as the Brother,
Evan Toke as the Sister, Blue bell Saracino as Jonica,
Corey Krueger as j d Giohn, Cameron Mitchell as Absentia,
Stephen Kieran as Hoodwink, Kate Prendergast as Annabelle Evans. The
(31:44):
Laundronauts is a collaboration between i Heart Media and Little
Brother Sam Productions. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,
visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts. The Laundronats is a production of iHeartRadio.
The Laundronots is a production of I Heart Radio. This
is what we remember and remember what is, what it
sounded like, what we couldn't hear we made up. The
rest of it is ult It was a strange and
(00:25):
difficult thing to sneak into Charlie's third floor apartment in
the middle of the night. That we're all getting quite
a depth at scaling fire escapes and leaping through windows,
it still took an hour of synchronized slinking before we
were properly packed into Charlie's bedroob, his parents sleeping just
on the other side of his door. Won't they wake up? Nah?
(00:48):
Roscoe and Annabelle are deep into their jars by now,
why woul This was neither the time nor the place
to delve into the familial intricacies of the Evans hustle.
The forced intimacy of Charlie's bedroom was awkward enough, walls
bear and chipping the flims he caught, the only furniture
(01:09):
his floor a swamp of clutter. Charlie noticed our gas
looks and jammed his dirty clothes and comic books into
a closet, then hurriedly kicked an unusually wide assortment of
stuffed animals under his cot. He turned to us flush faced.
Somebody got something to say, Betty clearly and what's to
(01:29):
say on the subject, but managed to restrain himself by
chewing on his own hat. Now what time for night, Charlie?
You mean just stuck away some seats one way chipped
the dream land, shake hands with a sandman, I added,
getting caught up on the phone. This isn't gonna work.
Do you have a better plan, Perry? He didn't. Charlie
(01:50):
pulled back his covers and kicked off his shoes. No pjs.
Charlie gave Benny an icy glare and slipped under his cover.
Now what fall asleep? Then wake up? I added, without waking.
We converged on his cut. Then you'll need to find Jonica,
maybe get her a message. What kind of message? Morse code? Hush?
(02:15):
Perry maybe mentioned something you to discuss, Charlie, something she'd recognize.
Mona fluffed his pillow for it. Charlie laid back on it,
white eyes. Then you'll just have to win it, wing
it like a birdie. Nick clicked off the light and
slumped against the wall. The rest of us settled in
around the cut. Good night, Charlie, don't blow it, Chuckles,
(02:40):
watch it nightty night, Chuck. Stop, don't let the bed
box by it. I don't have the movie here for you, jolly,
I added, trying to sound reassuring. Charlie pulled the covers
up tight and slowly closed his eyes. This isn't gonna work.
What come on? That was not even a minute. Oh
(03:03):
my gosh. Yeah, do you've tried falling asleep? When you're
trying to fall asleep? Well, what do you usually do? Usually?
Just fall asleep? How about a bedtime story? Your folks
still reading bedtime stories? Nick maybe mine? Do? Really? Me do? I?
(03:23):
I can't remember the last time my folks read me
a story. What do you think, Charlie? What do you got, nicky?
Ricky Timbo? This is what Nicholas ray. Once upon a
time there were two Kibi birds stranded on top of
a mountain, surrounded on all sides by a raging ocean.
(03:47):
The tiny Kibi's greatest wish was to fly, but he
was a kiwi, and Keei's were flightless birds, born with
puny wings, like their cousins, the jodos and the ostriches
and the chickens. But this did not damp the tiny
kiwi spirits. He knew one day he would fly. The
big Kiwi saw this and his little brother, and it
made him puff up his chest feathers. One morning, the
(04:09):
little bird saw his brother disappear down the side of
the mountain, carrying branches, head leaves, and twigs in his beak,
only to return at sunset empty beat. The little Kiwi
was curious, but the big bird made him stay away.
It would be a surprise. Having a great fondness for surprises,
the little bird agreed. The older keep worked around the clock,
(04:30):
even when the little Kiwi fell asleep from lack of
food and water, and finally he limped back to his
little brother and puffed up his chest feathers. There was time.
The big Kiwi led his brother back to the cliff
and nodded. The little Kiwi shuffled to the edge and
peered over, his eyes wide in wonder as he saw, Hello, Hello,
(04:53):
great Now, who's gonna tell me a bedtime story? Was Nick?
The little kiewie ser m hm, excuse me? The qui Nick? Roy, sir?
Is he talked to me about himself and maybe his
brother Bobby. Well observed children, it is often the case
at the storyteller unwittingly or witting and beds his or
(05:14):
herself in the story he or her tells friendly of
waters in which to sink a swim. I suppose what
does that mean? It can sometimes be safer to lose
ourselves in our characters children. Their desires become our desires,
their dreams become our dreams, Their pain our pain. What
(05:38):
did the little key see, sir wide and wonder that
we shall learn an armed captain? But first he must
returned to our London artical proper, as Jonaka's yarn was
just beginning to unspool, like every good multidimensional municipaler be
(06:00):
the city of what the has an attic. But it
was an attic beyond any attic Jonica had ever seen,
rivaling even the pneumatic attic of a Great Granny Manny.
Great Granny man He was one of the few homeowners
in the Bay Area whose house still had an attic
and a basement since the quake of nineteen o six.
Basement sinatics but mostly four sworn in San Francisco. Not
(06:23):
so for Granny Manny. She was a rebel without a pause.
She once had a controlling husband named Norm that she
dismissed within hours of their nuptials after catching him a
wink at one of her bridesmaids. I didn't design more ever,
since he was one of three husband's great granny money
(06:50):
notched upon her darning wheel and subsequently discarded, he was
also the richest. Hence the house of the basement and
the attic. It contained all the keepsakes, heirlooms, and adventures
of Jonica's early years, including her penchant was cinnamon and
the lucky luck that she wore on her neck with
(07:10):
the picture of her mother as a child inside. When
Jonaica finally stepped off her suckling bridge and into the
city of what does attic, she discovered it was an
oddly thin chamber but impossibly high ceiling. At the far
end of the chamber stood an ornate throne fashion of
(07:31):
both wood and rock ingrained with watches, coins, pins, keys,
all the lost things of absence. Everything in the room
was borne from the chair, roots spread out from its feet,
forming a thick mossy floor. Branches stretched out from its
arms forming the walls, the roof, the windows that looked
out onto the skyway, and sitting in the mighty throne
(07:55):
was the mighty King of the city of what the
himself he was a tall suckling, touched the tweety head
adorned in the crown of alabaster thorns and brambles oudly.
The mighty King was quivering uncontrollably in his mighty throne
like a Catholic schoolboy about to burst into giggles. During massweet,
(08:19):
King mctweaty sprang from his throne, smashed his head against
the ceiling, and shattered his crown to pet The chamber trembled.
He then bounded across the room, gathered up Jonica, and
began dancing in a wild celebration. Jonacha held on for
dear life until she spied an opening, then kicked free
(08:39):
and dropped to the floor. The King, oblivias to her departure,
continued drawing himself about the room, almost clutching the object
of his own affection. Jonica pelted him in a gullet
with one of her boots. You're going to squash. Mctweaty
stopped dancing and bowed low and shame like a room
(09:03):
but tweeting dotted at the room into a chamber behind
his throat only the dirt back in, making sure Jonica
was still there, before dotting back into the chamber behind
the thrown again. He reappeared carrying a gift at bow
tie box the size of a refrigerator. The King sent
the box down in the middle of the room and
tiptoed into the corner. The king nodded and folded into
(09:27):
a footstool. Jonica approached the box cautiously. She found a
piece of red ribbon dangling within reach. She leaped, caught
it and tumped the box. Shook, rumbled, growled, Jonica doe
to the ground. The box exploded. Jonica rose standing in
a confetti blizzard was sp Jonica's heart did a double
(09:51):
half gain over the full forward twist. Slots's body did
an actual double half gain full forward twists. They threw
themselves into each other's arms and squeezed so tightly that
Jonica forgot where she ended, and spluts now began. Then
a new set of arms clamped around them, lifting them
behind in the air, and an even larger embraced but
(10:13):
tweety had joined the celebration during his Marvel's melee as
Jonica fun did not lose consciousness from old squeeze. She realized,
splotches your daughter. She the voice. Jonica kicked free from
the melee and dropped to the floor. Okay, that's enough.
(10:37):
The sucklings went still. Did you going to hear that voice?
The suckling shook their heads. Where is or slide whatever?
I want to see him right now? The king sighed
and gently placed his child back on the ground. He
shuffled back into the chamber behind his throat. Jonica looked
(10:57):
to splotch the suckling shrub. The king returned carrying a
cube of solid black. The cube was no larger than
an apple crape, but by the way mctweety was lugging
it in, it was heavy and dense. It had no seams,
no hinges, no nails, no rivets, just a single solid
(11:19):
block of black. The King set it down in the
middle of the room and backed away, motioning for Spots
and Jonica to do the same. They obeyed. The Tweety
touched his throne and the mossy floor wrapped itself around
the cube, forming a thick pod. The pod began to glow,
(11:39):
becoming transparent, revealing the cube held securely inside. The king
looked over Jonica warily what it was. Jonica had no idea,
but Tweety touched the throne and the cube melted into
a puddle. The puddle hissed and bubbled like tarked, then
(12:01):
congealed into a ball. The ball began to expand take shape,
the shape of a boy, a familiar boy, conspicuously not
wearing a pair of stupid taped up spectacles. J D
turn and kept turning. He stopped. Johnna moved closer to
the pod. The Suckling's tensed. His voice was like static
(12:26):
and I am radio submerged underwater. Where are you? I
can feel out of here right now. He purned out
the walls with his fists. The pod shook and swayed.
Does the want to calm down? Down? His body shimmered
and rippled like a mirage trying to take shape. He
(12:52):
pulled out a pocket watch and began swinging it from
its chain like a bolero. Rings of mustard yellow shut
out smashed into the prison wall. The pod shook and
swayed but remained intact. But Tweety touched his throne and
the pod contracted, mashing j D back into his dark
(13:13):
prison block. Jonica threw herself at the pod to him,
Splot settled up, trying to quell her raid. Jonica pushed
her away. What have you done? The voice again? Quiet?
The suckling shook their head. What I said, be quiet?
(13:38):
The suckling slid up towards Jonica, looking to comfort her.
She suddenly brandished the carrot. Stop they ovadue I wanted
to release right now. She jammed the carrot into the
pod and squeezed the pins ink course through the skin,
(14:02):
illuminating it. Then the fluid began eating to the walls
of the prison. The tendril slithered back into the mighty
chair shoot all that was left. With the black cue
sitting in the middle of the room. J D reformed
back to the boy, the boy without his stupid taped
up spectacles. It was then that Jonica remembered she had
(14:25):
those very same spectacles in her knapsack, a knapsack that
rarely left her person, but one that was now lying
in the rubble just behind j D's foot, closer to
him than to her. Did he turn to her, blinking
(14:45):
as if awakening from a long nap slatch. Please, I
prefer it. I don't see so well without my specs
you didn't find any chance to bring them with you,
did you, Ja, No, why are you here and not Benny?
That's your fault? Really? How so the vomitron you've had
(15:08):
to drown us some sauce at the washitarium. I got
caught in the reversal. And how exactly do you think
I accomplished those things? I've been imprisoned by this beast
since the rabbit took my glasses. Joniva looked at mc
tweety and splut. Then it must be someone else. Where
(15:31):
is your knapsack, Jonica? Do you really go anywhere without it?
Jonica shot a quick glance at it. The suckling sprang
across the room, cutting off his pad. J D slipped
down his pocket. I still have some power, your majesty.
I suggest you think this through very carefully before I think.
(15:56):
Excuse me, he's the one who that's his name. I
guess I gave it to him, but that's not She
breathlessly brandished the character. Everyone stop moving, something has obeyed,
j D sneered. You don't know what that will do,
(16:17):
neither do you, so vanished, Fine, no one's moving now? What?
Jonica plopped down onto the floor Splotch folded into a footstool.
J D stuffed his watch into his pocket and sank
like a leaky bicycle pump. The King was the last
to comply, gathering of Jennafer's knapsack into his body before
(16:41):
crumbling like an accordion. I Hearby called the First Grade
Council of the City of What to order the matter
of hand, couldwick? Who is he? What does he want?
Why do we here? The members of the first Grade
Council of the City of What looked at each other
in confusion, perhaps some refreshment. Mctweetie nodded. The sware of
(17:04):
Sucklings erupted from the chamber behind the throne, carrying biscuits,
tea needle and thread recorderie of cones, and a bountiful
bevy of brushian Jonica, Nibble and Sipwa. Mctweetie and Splutch
were ceremoniously brushed, stitched, and groomed while their attendees j
(17:24):
D sat and fumed like an overheated steam engine. See
that's much nassing. What do you care to beginner discussion? No,
what are your thoughts on? Huding? Clearly a direct Who
do you think he is? I'm not sure he even exists. Oh,
(17:46):
he exists, and he knows things, and he's able to
bridge both worlds in those blankets of his What about
those blankets they leaned into, Jonica, She leaned back, I
them warily. He said Absentia was his home, that he
was entangled and wanted to become unentangled. He said he
(18:08):
wanted Benny to go next into absentia? Is that true?
G D? Manny is just one in a long line
of torment as Johnnica, Just like you? When did I
torment you every time you didn't tell I'm sorry? Are
you really Johnnica? Bernica Lovely a k a. The Puma,
(18:31):
you who are oh so pretty and polite and patient
and perfectly perfect. I know it's so perfectly perfect. Why
do you think this hoodwink wanted you to go next?
I don't know. Because you're so perfectly perfect. He sents
you as my rival. What I'm not perfectly perfect? I
(18:53):
have plenty of faults, nay one besides your love of
standing on the sidelines, Jonica hesitated. The store is the
voice again, not just familiar this time, but specific. That's
because it's a sock John Charlie who are you talking to? Jonnica? Nobody,
(19:22):
Lire lire pants on fire, pooma. And it is here, children,
that we must pivot once again. The only way to
understand how Charlie punched his way through to Jonica to
have Charlie Evans described himself in his own words, in
his own voice. It will be charring. This is an addendum, children,
(19:43):
a supplemental chapter to the London Articles. So settle stitchlings,
as we did by collective toes into the shadows of
the mind of Charlie Evans. First thing I remember after
falling asleep is I'm my bed and you guys are
still staring at me. So I closed my eyes, thinking
(20:04):
maybe I'm still awake. Then I noticed none of you
have faces. Not only did none of you have faces,
but I could see into where your faces used to be,
like looking down a bunch of train tunnels. In Perry's face,
I saw a mountain walking towards me. In Mona's face,
I saw these white birds making shapes in the sky.
(20:25):
In Benny's face, I saw a bunch of red rhinos
playing leap frog or something. I decided it's time to
wake up, and it works. I'm sitting up, and I
feel this cold wind crawling over me, and I shout
to nobody, get me a blanket, please, I'm freezing my
butt off. Everything got a lot clearer and sharper. But
(20:45):
you guys were gone, and I wasn't in my room.
As a matter of fact, I wasn't nowhere. I was
sitting in a big old world of nothing. I look
at my hands, but I can't see him. I can
still feel him, but I can't see um. I hear
a noise like a bug in my ear. I try
to listen, but it's real painful. I tell myself, you
(21:08):
listen no matter what. Okay, And the buzzing slowed down.
It became words, like solid things, flowing by me, one
word at a time, all rotten, gott. They ruled by
(21:30):
faster and faster, spinning me like a tar. I got
so dizzy, I just sparked out my mouth. Came words,
solid words, but these words were different. They were mine,
A broke bloke who joked of coke and smoked croaked
(21:56):
jokes to coach the even my rootle garta jump op
to the crowley in a cloth and gonna jump smokes theround.
Just know they wants were lost behind? Does shows pose cloaks?
(22:22):
Now they're in your yokes? Stop somebother folks gotta jump
up to the cloth and smoke croaks. Hope to the
glove and smoke crounks. I had something solid a wall
(22:50):
I couldn't see. I shout, I don't like this dream
no more. The wall becomes like a window. Something on
the other side, Charnica. She was walking on a bridge,
A bridge made of socks. I got so excited. I shout,
what they take a great coat? Jonica stopped. I shout again.
(23:13):
Nice pair of men's starts walking faster. Um, maybe a
solid pair of warm boots. She starts running about. A bell,
maybe a half a lightweight lit comb, A comer? What hello?
Is someone else in here with me? Well, that depends
on your definition of someone, Charlie? And here? Who is that?
(23:36):
Call me? Good wink? I calling you nothing, pal? What
are you doing in here? Just a traveler passing through, Charlie.
Not unlike you. You're passing through my head. My apologies, Charlie.
It's just that I'm not all the way here yet
or there. Really I need your help me. Don't awaken
(23:59):
no matter what you or here until I get home.
If you do that for me, Charlie, I will help
you get Jonica to her home. Listen, I don't know
who you are, pal, so I'm not helping you do nothing.
If you did know me, Charlie, would that relieve your apprehension?
Charlie remembered Mona's words, just so, Charlie wounded. Okay, Mr Hoodwink,
(24:27):
who are you? I was born in ABSENTI yeah you
there now? In a way? Yes, in a way. No.
I am caught in between like you, But I thought
I was dreaming. You're a very special boy, Charlie. Your
dreams are a window into many places. One of those
places is where I am. I call it the cloak room.
I'm stuck here. You see. I need you to keep
(24:49):
this window open long enough for me to get home.
If you do that for me, Charlie, I will help
you get Jessica back to her home. Charlie was a
d Winder's student fast, so this was a lot for
him to chew on, but he was determined. Okay, Mr Hoodwink,
I'll help, but I got some prerequisitions first. I'd expect
(25:12):
nothing less from such a unique and talented First, thing.
Stop buttering me up like a morning room. Apologies. Second thing,
show yourself. As I mentioned earlier, I'm not all the
way here, Charlie, neither am. I put your back into it, Pal,
(25:33):
I shall do my best. Suddenly there was a man
standing next to Charlie, a tall man and a golden lobe,
with a black hood pulled down low over his face.
He was like a mirage on a hot summer road.
Every time Charlie tried to get a good look at him,
(25:53):
he melted away, only to reform elsewhere. Tad. How else
might tire Ama Dad get a message back to the punks?
What kind of a message? Tell him? I made contact
with Jonica. I think she heard me. If I might offer, no,
you cannot, then I want you to deliver their message
(26:15):
back to me word for word. Do not lie, because
I'll know that's one of them things that makes me special.
M very well. But afterwards you have to do something
for me. Charlie understood, Quit broke well, quit pro whom
brace yourself. I'm not quite sure what's about to happen,
(26:38):
so started rushing at Charlie like someone changing the radio
images rolled by on the indivisible roll. The images took shape.
For the sound, Jonica and the arms of the giants
suck dancing wildly splotch if you daughter, she'd make a
mean pair of vajaha mus The screen got fuzzy again,
(27:02):
and Charlie was in his bedroom. That didn't sound like Charlie.
Do you think it's another trap? Do you think it's fluts?
I don't know. I'm just telling you. I'm right here.
He was talking to us in a sleep. It sounded
like someone else. Hey, it's me, Charlie. Hello, dangn it hoodwink. Yes, Charlie.
(27:31):
Why can't they hear me? I don't know. Did you
tell them what I asked? Yes? Tell him I'm watching
right now herdwink do it or the deals off. I'm
watching you right now. Everyone in the room went still.
(27:54):
What is my hand doing? Charlie chapped her foot. She's
do We're nothing with her hand. I think that's the point.
Tell him that. Tell him like me, you ain't doing
nothing with your hand. Ramona for room, You're tapping your
stupid toe on the ground. It's Charlie. It still doesn't
(28:17):
sound like you. There was a noise from the adjoining room.
We went statue uisque heurel. Do you have friends over?
He looks desperately to Mona talk your mother, Chuck, don't
make her come in there. Why can't you go in?
(28:40):
Tell Jonaica to get to the keyhole, Charlie. Have her
send the signal on plumb too. We'll pull her through
at fifteen minutes. Somehow, she's warning you'll, Chuck, come on,
get it together. The bedroom melted away to Jonica sitting
with j D and the suckling's in the throne room.
(29:01):
I'm not perfectly perfect. I have plenty of faults than one,
besides your lover standing on the sidelines. Jonica hesitated. The
score is too small. That's because it's a song, Janica. Charlie,
(29:21):
who are you talking to? Jonica? Nobody? Your your pants
on fire? Boomers, Come on, not now, that's not there, sir,
life really is Please You cannot blows on other people's
(29:48):
Look to your other children. She needs you now, Captain,
follow the leader your somnambulistic sense. She will guide you
to dream like success. We will return to the Pumas
for Dickamon denon one way. We are such stuff as
(30:17):
streams made on and our little life has rounded bo Sleep. Indeed,
The Laundronauts are potentially untrue tale based on actual events. Conceived,
written and directed by Colin mackenzie Mitchell, original music, sound
(30:40):
design and editing by Dave McKeever, Produced by Monica Michless
and Dave McKeever. Script supervision and editorial assistance by Christina Brian,
Casting by Mary Claire Sweeters. Executive producers John Cameron Mitchell,
ed Asner and Colin Mackenzie Mitchell, starring in order of appearance,
(31:01):
Isaac Robinson Smith as the Man and Ruscoe Evans, Alison
Fraser as the Woman, Great Granny Manny and Madam Russia.
Ed Asner as the narrator, London Johnson as Benny, Noah
Bentley as Charlie, Trevor Bernardino as Perry, Lily Resto as
(31:21):
Mona Near von Paul as Nick, Max Mitchell as the Brother,
Evan Toke as the Sister, Blue bell Saracino as Jonica,
Corey Krueger as j d Giohn, Cameron Mitchell as Absentia,
Stephen Kieran as Hoodwink, Kate Prendergast as Annabelle Evans. The
(31:44):
Laundronauts is a collaboration between i Heart Media and Little
Brother Sam Productions. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,
visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever
you get your podcasts. The Laundronats is a production of iHeartRadio.
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