April 29, 2019 • 55 mins
Jana and Mike let us in on a game they play to work out their issues in a playful way... until things get heated.
And Jana is still at war with the “hot nannies”, so we talk to the owner of a nanny agency. She shares some amazing advice on what people should look for when picking a caregiver for your children.
But that leads to the topic on everyone’s mind: why do people “cheat down”? What makes someone cheat with a less attractive person than their partner? You won’t believe Jana’s take!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Wine Down with Jane Kramer and I heart radio podcast.
Mike's back he and he has a cake, happy vasectomy
cake in front of him, because apparently that's a thing now,
vasectomy cake, You're the best tea. How do your balls feel?
(00:22):
Bade happy vosectomy um? You know, a little tender show,
but doing good. I'm physically wearing a jock strap right now,
so true story. I just put down Joy for bed
and I walked past our room and I see him
in no joke, a jock strap which just looks like
a male thong, and I was just like, what doesn't
(00:45):
go around your butt any but it's still like so
now you're like butt cheeks are all. But I was like,
what are you wearing? And he's like, it's a jock
strap And I was like, youtub boy is nice and tight.
You gotta keep them here? Are you going to continue
to wear a jock strap? Sects in my buddies? I
was like, hey, this is kind of nice. Everything stays
out of the way up and out of the way,
hid and tight and just you know, then you just
(01:07):
go about your business. I mean, that must be weird
to have like snaggy stuff down there. Like when you're
walking and stuff. Yeah, exactly, little empathy for the guy.
You don't understand what we deal with with bat wings?
What's up? Mike doesn't get them? Now they're wearing a jockstrap?
Does it? Like the ball stick to your the side
of your And I hate it. That's why I wear
(01:28):
fairly tight briefs because of that drives me nuts, and
I still deal with it. Don't you use baby powder?
Because I always see Mike like poor, like a dozen
that's a gallon of gold bond, more of a Johnson
and Johnson's kind of guy. Oh, I need a female
in here because it's just real male right now. After
(01:50):
that Ladies episode last week, you talk about all those
dreamy guys and potential hot nannies for women. Yeah, I
was listening to podcasts. I didn't get through all of
it yet, but I was listening to the part where
Amy was talking about whatever Reynolds was, you know, your
trainer or nanny or whatever. And Jane's just like I I.
I I was like, yeah, hiding a little bit more.
(02:11):
I know. I just couldn't, you know, come up with
the words to properly say it's okay. I'll just said
the same thing. If someone said one of those two
guys was my trainer and nanny, I'd be like, I
I so we'd have the same reaction. Oh man, speaking
of all that stuff, though, I'm just gonna wrap that
part up. Michael was like, what are you doing. I
was like, I'm in like a war right now with
(02:32):
hot nanny's all over the world. The hot nanny is
unite even our nanny, and Nashville was like, is this
something I need to be worried about? And then one
of my other britt Britt, She's like, was I ugly?
I was like, oh my god, yeah, it's like gritty. No.
I was like, and I've literally had to text all
our past nanny's and be like, you are beautiful. You
are beautiful. I think you're beautiful. So I mean, really
(02:54):
back for it. I mean a lot of times on
the show, I like to I like to start conversations,
and that's an interesting conversation in and but also because
you know, what works for me might not work for
everyone else. But apparently I was a very I was
offending a lot of the hot nanny's saying, you know,
I'm women in the workplace and they're getting It's just
it was just the whole I was just very you know,
(03:17):
and when you were bringing that to me and let
me know when you're texting so uh, you know intently,
it's finding like a d M war. And I'm not
going to name her because I think she just wants
the attention. Yeah, yeah, no, don't think about satisfaction. The
thing is, when you're telling me about it, I'm like,
it's just being professional, that's all it is. You wouldn't
show up to any other job interview or post a
picture for your resume, which you know some resumes nowaday
(03:39):
people might put it like a picture. You don't. You
wouldn't post a picture with your stuff hanging out. But
here's where she says, but so because I have big boobs,
Like that's just how you're discriminating women. I was like, no,
I'm actually not discriminating. Like you need to dress for
the part. If a guy wore hey, if he had
a shirt off and he came to an interview profession
or if he was you know, I mean, not even
(04:01):
a shirt off, because like your boobs can show. But
if you're wearing a lace literally nothing else, a barely
tank top and like I just think you need to
dress for the part. It's not about saying I don't
think everything else. I don't know, Mark, what do you think?
I agree, completely professional is the answer. You don't need
to be in an apron and just a professional look
is what we're looking for, because otherwise you might have
(04:24):
ulterior motives. But but she was like, just because I
have big boobs doesn't mean that I want to blah
blah blah, and like my boobs might be flapping around
because I wear and like that's fine. I'm just saying,
like the first interview in meeting, I just think that
you should dress more appropriately. Not but then are not
There's still a way to dress professionally. It doesn't matter. Yeah,
(04:47):
but what if I mean you have to talk with her.
Let's say she dressed it professionally and you hire her,
and then she shows up for work and after a
couple of weeks she gets more comfortable and stuff, showing
up in a crop top and jeane shorts, and all
of a sudden we have to have a talk. Yeah,
but I mean of our nannies, Like she had her
boobs out a lot, and again it's fine, Like I
was fine with it. Now I love pretending you're talking
(05:09):
about I actually do who's the actor in this family?
Thank you very much, But I don't care because she
loved her kids. You know, at the end of the day,
it's not about and she was beautiful, like it's I
just was more trying to have a conversation about it.
And it's not that I don't trust my husband. And
it's not that I'm not for women's rights and letting
boobs hang out. It's fine, but whatever. I can still
(05:30):
have my opinion and still spark a conversation. But really,
like the hot Nannies USA, um is, we'll have an issue.
And to the point where I was fearful that we're
going to lose the nanny we just hired in Nashville
because I didn't want her to think that we thought
she was ugly or because that's not the case. She's
she's beautiful, she's right for our family, and she's going
to love our kids, and that's what matters at the
(05:51):
end of the day, because and here's what I was
saying too, is at the end of the day, if
my husband or if I'm going to cheat, we're going
to cheat no matter what someone looks like end of
the day, no matter what they're wearing, no matter how
they dress, no matter what they look like. If you're
going to cheat, you're gonna cheat. It's just removing like
we've said numerous times on here, like Mark said, you know,
(06:11):
putting the meat in the cage. But it's just removing scenarios.
That's why it's like the whole concept of you can
never say never really because under the right circumstance, who
knows what people might do. Yeah, right, you're saying, like
the analogy, we user, don't put meat in the lion's cage.
But the truth is, if you're married to a lion,
he's gonna find meat somewhere exactly. That's what I'm saying.
If you're just gonna find it. I mean, you know,
(06:34):
I look back on not to bring it up, but
like something like they weren't pretty because it wasn't about
them being pretty. It was about him meeting his needs, right,
you know. That's well, that's that's that's another issue. So
when somebody cheats, do you factor in whether or not
they're better looking than you. I looked every single one
(06:54):
of the women that he was with, and I was
like honestly, majority of the time, from my personal experience
and just experience in general, men cheat down. I have
actually heard that as well, cheat down because I'm like,
for the for the partner, for the woman. I can
understand why that would be even more because then I
(07:17):
could see in a in a woman's head if they
try to justify somehow, well she is really pretty, you know,
I could see the temptation. But when you cheat down,
it's what is it? But that's what it's about. That's
what I'm saying to the course, It's not about what
someone looks like. If you're gonna cheat, you're gonna cheat.
Why is that? Why do men cheat down? Because they don't?
(07:39):
Are those the women that are available at at the
moment the need arises? Are we gonna backlash on this
or any of this affair is going to be like, oh,
so you didn't think I was pretty? What his stupid
question would have been easier if they were supermodels? Like,
holy crap? Would you have said, well, I can't say
(08:00):
I blame him, Um, it all sucks. Of course, it
wouldn't have made much. I can't see that, but also
could even hurt self esteem that much more. I will say,
oh no, but it doesn't matter because for me, a
lot of the women had like larger boobs, so my insecurity.
(08:20):
So now I for probably a good year and a
half after everything, I would make sure my boobs were
up and more because I thought that's like what he wanted,
because that's what I saw. But again it's actually I know,
but you know what I mean, it was the what
was like sex in that moment, blah blah blah whatever.
But I think that's where us women go as we
(08:41):
then start to compare and want to kind of morph
into what they had, and it's so wrong because it's
not about what they look like, how big their boobs are,
anything like that. It's just filling a need for them.
So anyways, we got a little off topic. But no,
I mean that's a good topic, though, is that. I mean,
it's really it's not a good topic, but it's a
(09:06):
you know, conversational topic. Only men who have cheated say
their mistresses were better looking than their wives. For women,
they say that their husbands are often better looking, but
their mistresses are usually in better shape. That does not
surprise me, man, you start working out more, no, honey,
(09:28):
because again, you know, that's not for me, and he
knows this too. For me would be an emotional fair.
That's where I would go if if we ever, you know,
God willing, that doesn't ever happen. But I think God forbidness.
God will say God forbid because that's where I that's
where I can fall into. That's where I have to
(09:49):
set healthy boundaries. I have found that my wife and
I've been to get the twenty two years. If I cheated,
and she's been clear about this from the beginning. If
I cheat, it's over, really done, goodbye. But I feel
like if she cheats on me, I feel like we
could make it work because I feel like if she cheats,
it's mean she's really not getting something she needs from me.
(10:09):
I am not meeting a long list of needs for
her to go elsewhere, because she is not the type
to just be like to just jump on somebody else.
We're men are jumpers sometimes, you know, men will just
give it. Yeah, we're women. It's more of a deep
emotional thing. And maybe that's sexist, and I'm sorry if
it's stereotypical, but I do feel like if she were
to cheat, it's if I cheat, it is my fault.
(10:30):
If she cheats is my fault. Yeah, we are joined now,
but Katie prevents you on to the managing director of
Westside Nanny's. Oh god, are you serious? Really? Yeah, Katie
is her name. There we go. I don't guess. I
think this is kind of last minute. Hello. Hi, Hi,
(10:56):
Hi Katie. How are you good? How are you great?
I hear you're talking about hot nanny n Wrap it up,
but I guess we'll start. So you own a nanny agency.
I do. I own west Bide Nanny. We're based in
Los Angeles, so we work with families primarily here in
(11:17):
Los Angeles area, but also across the country of Native So.
I guess one of the main backlashes I had was
I was talking about because we were trying to find
a nanny and we used one of the website nanny's
uh outlets, and I had made a comment about how
they had like the perky boobs up and you know
that the wives are hiring. And I got major backlash
because people are like, well, women are like, you know,
(11:38):
I have boobs and I should be able to show
my boobs. And what my husband and I are saying
is we just think that for an interview you should
be a little bit more professional. Well, I would agree
with you. Um, and we see those pictures too, you
see amazed at what Danny sending a they're applying for
a job. But I think for us it's not about
(12:00):
whether someone has boots or not. I mean we all
do right, Um, It's about good judgment and dolth awareness
and professionalism and how you're presenting yourself for a job.
And I think those things are two very different things.
So it's not that of this nanny is hot, you
know about the turn off, it's that, well, if she
(12:20):
chose to use the photo of herself to apply professional job,
any job, whether it be a nanny draw or another
that shows a lack of good judgment and and good
judgment is really important when you're hiring unanityes. I agree.
Have you ever had any wives like say, you know what,
what's around that? Like what if they are a dressed
(12:41):
in appropriately? Like do you talk to them? Or how
does that work? Well? We get requests, you know, every
every single day from moms, and you'd be for price
requests go both ways. I mean for every request that
we have from a mom that told us, you know,
I don't want someone too pretty. Um. We also get
the request to hear the way around where a parent
will say, hey, we need it to fit in at
(13:02):
the country club or go to the star sided events
and not be an outsider, or you know, we don't
want a nanny as overlate, or we don't want this
or that. We even had a mom recently tell us that,
you know, my three year old seems to be more
attractive to blonde. So it's like a blonde nanny. I mean,
we hear it all, um. But our response to that,
of course, is you know, those things shouldn't matter. Um.
(13:24):
First of all, they protect the characteristics. You actually can't
discuss any basted about when someone looks like or the
color of their skin or any of those things. But
it really comes down to is someone a great nanny?
And that comes down to experience references, education of personality
and why they really want to work in this field.
So I have a question, Katie, and this you know
(13:47):
again I'm trying to I feel like maybe this this field,
like nanny, is a little bit more personal because of
the interaction and the relationship. Right, So it's a little
bit more personal person and unconnected. Um, but still like
for any job out there, you know, you gotta address
the part. You gotta be professional, and the employer can
(14:09):
hire whoever they want, and they might have there, you know,
kind of mindset on the kind of person they want,
down to the fact of maybe how they look or
how they present themselves and so on. So when it
comes to something like nanny, I mean, I feel like
people still have the right to, I guess, ask those
questions and make those requests right. They can ask them right,
(14:36):
and a lot of times they're they're going after the
wrong thing. And what we try to do is really
refrain that to be something that's positive when we're not
going to discriminate based upon those factors, but we do
really want to understand what the family is cooping for, um,
what are the qualities that they're looking for, and what
is leading to that request. UM. But I think you
brought up a good point that I really want to
(14:57):
touch on. What you said, This is a really small job.
It's you know, it's different than your everyday job. And
I would agree with you, um to an extent. I
think that that's where a lot of problems happen is
because parents you feel like, oh, this is my home.
You know, this is so personal, it is your personal job,
and so boundaries can sometimes fall to the wayside, and
(15:17):
that's practice on the nanny's and that's also on the
parents end. And all I think parents don't totally realize
or comprehend, which is something you try to educate our
clients about. Is the moment you hire a nanny, you
become a workplace. So you get may be your home,
but it's her workplace, and so you have to have
boundaries too. So that means you know, you guys can
(15:40):
be walking around in your underwears if what we're your
own home like you or someone's workplace, so you kind
of have to have some boundaries um for your own
home too. And then you can absolutely have her head
boundaries as well. So for example, there is appropriate address
credit work like dranny should not be wondering your own
inn hop can serviceni. That's not appropriate for the workplace.
And so the nanny you will hire, they are role
(16:03):
models for your children, So you can't have boundaries and
you should um. Just like nanny shouldn't really be talking
about her date last night or her night clubbing on sideday,
you also shouldn't be talking about the fight you just
had with your spouse or you know, any kind of
those personal things. It does need dreaming, professional and really
about the kids. I have a question at a very
(16:23):
good point, by the way, I love all of that,
when it comes to healthy eating habits. What if I'm
not not saying, you know, we don't know what um
we we just hired a new nanny Nashville, but we've
had a previous nanny. We're just eating habits weren't that good?
And I I've seen it. Maybe how does that? How
do I say that reflect now on our daughter what
(16:44):
she might think a snack is, And how do we
how do we say without hurting the nanny's fault and
being like, hey, you know, this is what we need
to feed our child in the house, and you know
we're not going to go to donut shops and that's
just right. And and in particular, what Janna is trying
to beat around the bushes say that nanny is a
(17:05):
little bit more of a weight, which there's no discrimination here,
but maybe they're eating habits aren't very healthy. But we
want to make sure that our kids are experiencing the
eating habits that we want for them, and that Jana
and I practice. Sure. I think it just comes back
to your the job that you're hiring someone for, UM,
(17:25):
And really whether or not a nanny's overweight or not
doesn't mean she can't UM teach your children about nutrition
and cook healthy meals for them. And so it's less
about her own eating habits and more about what you
need in your role. And so I think when you're
interviewing nannies and it sounds like you hired someone, but
if you were interviewing with us, we would say, talked
(17:45):
to everyone about that in the interview, talked about how
nutrition has a foreign to your family, and talk then
talked about what that looks like. You know, if you
get this job, you know these are good things we'd
like to cook. I'd like you to be able to cook,
cooking and healthy meals that are well rounded them coping
men when you're working. Here's partaking the meals that you
cook as well. But we just want to show them
as demonstrates help the eating house to the kids. Which
(18:07):
I'm a mom too, that's super important UM and definitely
a point that I talked about with my own mammy.
So I think just again reframing it it's not about them.
They're not causing anyone paying or the other. It's what
they're going to do in their role and what do
you expect on the job, and your nanny should be
able to fulfill those Absolutely, I love that. And one
(18:31):
more question before we wrap up, Katie. Janna and I
we've had a few nannies in the past and we
had a tendency where we would hire somebody we kind
of had a prior relationship with that started more of
a friend. So definitely we had an issue with the
kind of the boundaries and that, like you talked about
like our house in a workplace, and we've tried to
you know, we have a new nanny in Los Angeles.
(18:51):
We just hired a new one for Nashville when we
moved back there, and we really made a point to
touch on the things that you're talking about and be
you know, on the front end, kind discuss the things
that we've learned that we need or want them, you know,
for our kids to be exposed to and so on.
What kind of advice though, because Jane and I are
very personable, very affectionate people who we want people, whether
(19:13):
they work for us or not, we want them to
feel comfortable. We want them to feel kind of like
part of the family and and talk to us about
life in general, because we just love talking and hearing
about their life and we want, you know, them to
to to be willing to share and everything like that.
So what advice would you give, you know, people like
Jan and I who have a hard time ourselves kind
(19:33):
of sticking to those boundaries of employee or employee employer relationship.
I think it can be hard. I think it's something
that like everyone struggles with us, to be honest, and
it it's it's a fine line that you need to
figure out exactly where it is for you. But I
do think that you know the way to start off
a new relationship. UM, and I would encourage you, just
(19:53):
just for the nanity just hired us to have what
we call it a work agreement. But it's a contrast
unless we really stout and I'm this is what we
expect of you, and this is what we're going to
give you in return. And you know, you need to
keep paying your nanny legally, you need to make sure
that she has UM you know that's just treated like
a professional as well. UM, And then I think you
will get that back, but really putting out your expectations
(20:16):
and then maintaining that I think sometimes feel like, oh,
she's just part of the family, and yes, that's true,
but I think again those boundaries can go out the window.
Oh she's just part of the family, Well, she wouldn't
mind working on her day off, or she wouldn't mind
doing this and that, and everything gets a little fuzzy.
And I think that you do, as much as you
want to much to feel part of the family, you
(20:36):
can't feel that way. I think back to a great
job you have where you really have an afit be
towards your employer and we're it felt like a great fit,
but you still knew it was the job and it's
still professional. And I think that goes both ways. And
so if families will set up a contract in the beginning,
paint out the expectations, pay their nanny legally and professionally,
you know, give her vacation, and make it feel more
(20:59):
like a job for her, I think that goes a
long way in making sure that that behavior is also
models back. And you just can't talk about everything that
you would naturally, some things need to be reserved for
you know, the bedroom when you have an employee working
in your home because you just you just can't talk
about everything as you would if no one was there. Yeah, boom, well,
thank you so. And what's the name of your agency
(21:20):
again in l A, Well, what's side Nanny west side Nannies?
Be happy to hope. Thank you so much. We really
appreciate it. You're welcome, good luck. That was really good advice.
It was you're scared at first, I have to discuss
more n any stuff. I was just because I'm so
terrified that our new namey is gonna listen to this.
And I don't want her to quit because I really
(21:41):
like I quit before she starts, because I really like her.
It's not about beauty, though, it's about It's about like
you could have a lovely nanny, but there are certain
women that might be more I don't know. Putting it
out there, like we said before, it's not saying that
you can only hire but ugly nanny is that's nonsense,
all right. So I mean, regardless, someone's gonna take this
(22:01):
the wrong way. I didn't realize that no matter what
I say, someone's going to be offended by something that
I say. Always your public figure. But it's frustrating because
and then everyone's like, why are you why do you
comment on the negative? Because I really don't want to
offend people. That's not no. But you don't have a
problem stirring up, which I love because not a lot
(22:25):
of people, you know, so many people are too politically correct. Yeah,
and don't call it like to see it. Well, I
don't know. I just I don't like to ever offend anyone.
So well, that's that's their own issue for taking offense.
So before we talk onto the next before we go
to the next subject, we're going to take a quick break.
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(23:49):
feel like we are in the movie um, How to
Lose a Guy in Ten Days, where Kate Hadson's character says,
I want to talk about something meaningful. Sometimes when we
get these breakdowns about some of the topics for the show.
For some of the shows, Mike's like, I want to
talk about politics, and well, it's just funny because you
(24:11):
get some of these things, some of the hot topics
in society at the moment, and some of it just
seems so petty and you're just like, really, this is
what we're talking about and having a platform like this.
You know, I made the joke to Jane. You realize
you do want to talk about things that are meaningful,
and we want that for our listeners because they can
go read about like we're about to talk about Danny
(24:31):
Amndola and Olivia Copo for a minute, that whole situation.
So people, there's a million other places people can go.
They can read any tabloid magazine, they can go Alige
and see any article. Don't come here to We don't
want them to come here to listen to that. We're
gonna give our two cents in a minute. We're gonna
talk about it right now. So regardless, we're gonna talk
about it right now because just in case if you
do want the hot topics. So I don't really know.
(24:52):
Apparently they broke up. He wrote this long instagram you
still have a cough? By the way, how do you okay? Um?
It's a long instagram about her? Would you like to
preface some of this? Man? I mean, look from my
point of view, people who have followed this know what
(25:14):
he said on on Instagram. And then the fact that
he well he basically said miscommunication my ass. He he
said what he said he was either drunk or just
angry and typed away. And here's the deal. I don't
understand they've been on and off for a couple of
years or whatever it is. I don't know their whole history,
(25:35):
but Olivia Coppo has clearly been a climber. She's dated
I am. I look at her dating history. She's dated
Tim Tebow, She's dated Ryan Lockey, she dated Nick Jonas,
she dated Danny, she dated now she's talking to you
know Z and who else? I mean, the list goes
on and on. Are you saying she's famous for dating
(25:55):
um celebrities? What else is think? I will say, just
to defend that point in his thing, Danny said that
she got upset that he wouldn't post a lot about her,
So clearly she wanted to be with him to be like, oh, I'm,
you know, with this football player, which then makes sense
(26:17):
to your point. But who knows because we don't have
her side of the story. But I can see why
you think that she's a social climber. I mean her,
how can she just she just happened to date all
these famous people. Well you're running those circles, right, And yes,
I understand that when you're in those circles, the people
they introduce you to is probably someone of celebrity as well.
(26:39):
But I mean, what is the fact that he said,
you know, she's she was always upset for me for
not posting about her on the page, which you know,
whether he's more private, that's fine, but clearly she didn't.
She doesn't want the privacy. She wants to be more
out there in the celebrity will say any relationship, whether
it's a public one like this or even a private
(27:02):
one of people who aren't celebrities, there's some people that
you know, are like, hey, why aren't you posting about me?
Why why aren't you posting a picture on Facebook or
social media. It's so regardless of celebrity or not, I've
experienced and seeing people like that where they want to be,
you know, part of your life more and post more
and all that. Some people are more private, but let's
(27:23):
spin it because some people don't post because they probably
want to look available, oh for sure. So I know
there's some people that they're like, oh, well, he's a
he's an artist and he doesn't need to post a
photo of me, And it's like, uh, guy, artists don't
need to have that persona that's so out the window.
It's not even funny. He's not just posting you because
(27:45):
of that. No one wants to look available for not
the right reasons. If anything, record label or or TV
show is not going to hire a guy because he
has a girlfriend or a wife. If anything, I feel
like nowadays people are becoming more marketable because of a
relationship they have, except for maybe some of these reality
stars who can find themselves in the public more frequently
(28:08):
if they're dating somebody new, like if they're sheer real daters.
I e. Olivia Colpo, But I mean it's just like
who cares. I will say it's harder for women, though,
I mean they there's so many times where I felt
like I had to look available because you know, someone
might not hire you, which is so screwed up. And
I'm glad it's changing. But I can see for the
girl how it can be hard. But for the guys,
(28:29):
I'm like, guys have it like so easy. Why because
it's fine if you have a girlfriend or a wife.
I mean, look at all the country artists and celebrities.
They don't need to have that magnet. You're still you're
still a magnet. You're still like a magnet even if
you have a relationship. But so you're saying a girl,
(28:51):
a female artist isn't as for sure. I had to
hide in the very beginning. I had to hie that
I didn't have a boyfriend because I was supposed to
look more available. That was something that was verbally told
to me by my first manager. What I don't understand
about that is but a guy could have a relationship.
What I don't understand is country fans. I mean what
(29:15):
I would love to know the ratio of female to
male primarily female? Yah? Right, So why would it? Why
would it matter? It's just the old skew thinking, right, Yeah,
that's all it is. It's anyway, this whole, this whole situation.
I don't want to spend any more time on it.
It's let's take a break. Yeah alright. So I honestly
(29:39):
loathe perfume shopping. I don't know, I just feel like
it's super overwhelming and I don't want to commit to
a two bottle. And I feel like anytime I've gotten
you something i've missed. Well, no, I like the one
thing you got me. But I don't know. With Sunford,
it's super easy because you can basically, okay, I'll say this,
there's more than fo designer brands for you to choose
(30:01):
a perfumer clone for each month. So basically you can
do tom Ford, Gucci, Versacchi and it's good for a month,
so you don't have to commit to the big bottle.
That's the thing. Like Mike, I liked what you've gotten me,
but I just feel like I don't know if I
want to commit to like the juicy smell, like the
entire life. Because the Centered, we can just choose the
(30:21):
perfume that you want to try and they'll send it,
send a thirty day supply that has sprays in it. Yeah,
it's so great. So I mean that's basically like a
month for me. Um it's enough to apply more than
four times daily for months. So with an exclusive offer
just for our listeners, you can get off your first
month today. That's only seven fifty for your first fragrance.
So you go to Center dot com slash Janna and
(30:43):
use our code Janna for off your first month. Again,
that's Cent bered sc E N T B I r
D dot com slash janna for you to try out
your first perfume or cologne for just seven dollars and
fifty cents. Sign on and smell amazing. Interesting topic. Did
you know actually that the benefits of your husband's gas
(31:06):
can help you live longer? So the study found that
the stinky um byproduct most wise hate, could actually reduce
the risk of cancer, heart attacks, strokes, arthritis, and dementia.
According to other research, marriage is an important factor affecting
the survival of heart attack patients too, which means even
if you're already suffered um health issues, his finest farts
could actually keep you alive, kicking and sharp. I mean,
(31:32):
that is the silliest thing I've ever read. We're just reaching, man, society.
Society is just reaching to find anything. Yeah, to to
your fart will give me a longer life. That's gonna be. Yeah,
you're welcome. I'm gonna start saying you're welcome instead of
excuse me and say honey, you're welcome every time, every time,
every time. Fart. Now you're welcome. Here's a longer life.
(31:54):
Let me put out the article that proves I'm saving
your life right here. We're a lot of emails today.
I would love to Victoria has a question about your tattoos, Mike,
She says, I love listening to your podcast and following
Joanna on social media and through Joanna's videos on Instagram.
I have seen the slow progression of Mike's tattoos. Is
there a story or a reason and Mike's decision to
(32:14):
pick some of the tattoos he did, is there a
significance in getting them? In this time of Mike's self reflection?
Thank you all so much for all you guys do
and talk about. No, I just like him, No, No,
I'm just kidding. No, Victoria. Um, yeah, there is significance
to everything. Um, it's a word. It's a sleeve, in
(32:35):
in in, in progress to process. Um, it's gonna be
a full sleeve. And everything I have is meaningful. Um,
you know. And then people who have seen I have
both kids handprints on my forearm with clocks in the
time that they're born. Um, which the tattoo artists screwed
(32:57):
it up. Oh no, he put the wrong time, but
the wrong tel you put because you kind of do
the clock like sideways and you put four oh six
as opposed to four oh one. Yeah, she's only off
by a few minutes. It's still it's not the actual
date or the time that our daughter was born. Yeah,
that's why I go to a new artist now. And
(33:18):
then he also has a face. But it's all about
like everything means something. So the trees mean what trees
are like fourth rightness, honesty, um, you know, which is
how I'm trying to live my life nowadays, and everything.
And then the roses is simple for new beginnings, which,
as you guys know, Jane and I are having. And
then I have Jane's beautiful face on my shoulder, but
(33:39):
right now I look like a six year old man
because it's not finished. So there's that. And then he's,
you know, got kind of hairy arm. So I'll look
at my face and I'll be like, I have a
hair growing out of my chin. I have to pull
my hair chins anyways, but now I have to pull
my hair chins off my face on your arm every
time I take my shirt off. And it was like,
can you please next session work on my face? Didn't
(34:00):
get that done because I want to look more pretty.
We see that because I'm curious or is it not?
You don't want to show it till it's done. I
look like a six year old woman on his arm
doesn't look that bad. It does. Let's see here we go,
it's coming off. The shirt is coming out. Sleep Instagram
stories like yeah, sleepless t shirt on under it, so
it'll be oh wow, oh wow, I think it's lovely.
(34:26):
What so they gonna add color to it or what
are they gonna have no color? But he's got a
shade it to make it look more vibrant and make
it pop and just don't so it doesn't look so aged.
And what is she doing in that picture because it
looks like her eyes are closed. I'm I'm praying. Well,
I thought maybe you were like singing into a microphone
from the original picture they took it from. No that,
I don't know why why they closed my mass because
(34:48):
I have it was kind of a mix between this
inspirational picture that I have, Uh that's not Janna, and
then of a tattoo and then a picture of Janna.
So we're kind of marrying the two together. Um, but
tattoo artist he ended up changing because he didn't like
the tattoo artists guy. So now we have a new
one and that's more expensive, and the new one has
(35:08):
to finish the old ones work because it's a weird
conflict in the tattoo world. Yeah, oh definitely. Um. I
mean when I went into this shop, which is a
well known shop in Los Angeles. I mean, the guys
I talked to first, we're like, are you willing to
get any of that lasered off? And I looked into
it and that would have been like thirty dollars to
four grand and would take like two and a half years.
(35:31):
So I'm like, I'm good. So, I mean, because it works,
not bad, it's just not as creative as I had
hoped on something and to give them a clean, you know, canvas,
canvas um. But this guy has been great that I'm
working with. And the Bang Bang, I hear good things
about Bang Bang. It's not Bang Bang. But this guy
(35:51):
is great that I'm working with, and he's been willing
to kind of take what I already have and make
it better. Hey, do you want to read the email
from Ashley interesting? Ashley says, I just recently ended my
four year relationship and engagement with my partner because he
has a sex and porn addict. It's been almost two months,
and I find myself doubting my decision a lot. He
(36:11):
did tell me in the beginning that he was an
addict and he was in counseling. At the time, I
was pretty naive to what a sex addict was and
honestly never thought he would do anything to hurt me.
But over the four years, he stepped out of our
relationship twice, received inappropriate photos, had inappropriate conversations, and was
consistently active watching porn. Through this time, he would be
in and out of counseling in groups. The most recent
boundary he crossed was messaging a girl he frequently sees
(36:34):
the gym and complimenting her inappropriately on her body. I
was tired of putting myself back together. I called off
our wedding, which is only which was only a few
months away, and moved to another state. But lately I
find myself doubting my decision. How do you feel confident
in knowing that something you can do that sucks? I
think doubting yourself is the worst thing. But I if
(37:00):
you can say that you've tried everything, then I think
that's easier to not doubt yourself. So I knew that
I would always doubt myself to be like, what do
you have? Would would Mike have changed, and I would
never have known that if I didn't try now again,
if Mike knows that, if he steps out, or you know,
(37:20):
we're done because there's so much I can personally take
physically personally, like I I, there's only so much like
we we can handle. And so if it continues to happen,
even though I know that Michael is an addict and
there's that possibility, he has to do his work of
staying in recovery and staying in his boundaries and in
(37:41):
his work. So if it was happen me leaving, I
could rest knowing that I did everything I could possibly do.
So you might be having that doubt because maybe somewhere
inside you you don't think that you maybe fought as
hard as you should have. So maybe that's where the
(38:04):
doubt is coming from. Because I would have had that
same doubt if I divorced Mike when I found out
about everything, I would have had that doubt, being like
I wonder if he could have changed, I wonder if
we could have made it work. I think he did
the work. I think it's hard for people in general
to think back on something and really be confident knowing
that they gave it everything they have. I feel like
(38:25):
it's easy for people to justify it. Well, maybe I
could have done a little bit more. I don't I
disagree with you, because if you did something right now,
I would divorce you and then been like I did
everything and saying you don't. I'm just saying I feel
like some people it's easy, especially in the aftermath after
some time has passed, like you made the decision, you're
(38:47):
lonely and you're contemplating, right, and you're just kind of like, well,
did I did I really do everything? You know? And
I mean I know I do that in my life,
whether my football career, other things. I'm like, did I
work as hard as I could? And then I try
to remind myself Yeah, yeah, I did, you know. But
it's still hard, especially with something that was so meaningful
(39:09):
for you, whether it's a relationship with it's a job,
no matter what it is. I mean, you know. She
says that at the beginning of the relationship, he disclosed
to her that he wasn't addict. Now it is four
years ago, so you know, the biggest reason we've been
able to reconcile and continue to make this work is
because you've seen change we both have in ourselves and
(39:32):
in one another and in our relationship. So after four years,
she's not seeing that change, and he's still doing things
like that, he's clearly not doing the work, whether he's
in groups or going to meetings. If he's still doing that,
he's not really in recovery. So I mean, I think
that answers her question, you know, Yeah, and hopefully you
(39:55):
can rest in that knowing because if he's not doing
the work and staying active recovery, then that's going to
be impossible for you to continue on a healthy relationship together.
So you can just be like, all right, like he
couldn't do the work and you tried. Yeah, that's that's
my twosons. Clearly, was that a spur of the moment
decision four years? Right? It's not four years? Yeah, And
(40:17):
good on you for for making that hard decision, you know,
a few months before the wedding, and you're the point
you brought up, I think is the key point of
this is don't confuse doubts with loneliness, because if you
moved to another state, you're spending a lot of time
by yourself, I assume, and so you're missing him and
that's normal. That doesn't mean that you made a mistake
(40:38):
here exactly. And also the second that you do find
someone else, you're going to be like, oh wow, okay,
so yeah. I never realized it could be like oh
yeah yeah. Um. Kristen's email is interesting as well. I've
never heard this issue before. I can honestly state I'm
really struggling in my marriage right now. My husband's sister
has this weird obsession with him, and she's constantly needing
(40:59):
him help for anything and everything. She's extremely clinging to him,
and from the outside looking in, she actually she's his wife.
The last straw was when she went and had a
boudoir photo shoot and sent him her own brother the pictures,
asking him what he thought. He agrees that wasn't right,
but he won't tell her that she's too clinging obsessive
with him. I know where to go from here. I've
(41:21):
tried to talk to him about it, but nothing ever comes.
If it please helps, I want to know where they're
from here. Can Can someone explain to me exactly a boudoir?
I think it's a linger is shoe basically, yes, it's
a lingerie shoe, but it's you typically done for your partner, right,
(41:41):
it's done. Maybe you're engaged, maybe you're about to have
a baby, maybe you want your thinking of having a baby,
so you want to kind of preserve things. It's something
for your I think it's usually a gift for your partner.
It's not, although Tanya was considering doing it just for herself.
I know what I'm getting Mother's Day? Do I train
inslates to women's private dressing room on Francie, So what's
(42:05):
the meal version locker room? So she took lingerie photos
of herself. I don't think they're too revealing. I don't
think they're typically nude photos. No, they're just like real,
like stringy. Her own brother. You never oh gosh, like
I love my brother, but I would never send him.
I would throw up in my mouth. I mean, if
(42:26):
tera sent you launder, not because she's not beautiful. Is gorgeous,
but no, I can't even I don't even know how
to answer this because I I can't relate to it.
I think that's no, she's right, it's wrong. Well, and
he thinks it's wrong too, right, he needs to stop weirdo.
She's not doing it. She keeps bringing it up, but
(42:47):
nothing ever comes of it. That's just weird. Well, I mean,
do you think like maybe they have feelings for each other? Stop?
I mean, this is is that happening? Game throw you
know what I'm saying. I don't watch Game of Thrones, um,
but I mean you never know. I mean there's if
(43:09):
I sent lingerie photos to my brother Steve, he would
be like, what the f is wrong with you? That's disgusting? Right, So,
but because he's not saying anything, maybe he's got the
Hotspur's sister. Should Kristen go directly to the sister and
have a talk with her or does that just blow
it all up? If he If her husband can't, then
(43:30):
I would she said to her husband, I need you
to address this. And if you don't know, yes, great advice,
come to Mike and Janna and Mark, Mike, Jane and
Mark and we'll give you and then easton for any
Uh what's that called? What you just did? Translation tips?
Oh my goodness, let's take a break. Oh, I have
(43:55):
a fun game we can play. Okay, So Mike and
I like to do this thing. I don't know if
it's actually a smart thing to do, but we've been
able to kind of talk about our issues in a
funny way. Again, don't listen to us. This might not
work this and it might not be Yeah, this might
not be therapeutic. But sometimes it will say to him,
(44:15):
if there's something bothering me, I'll say, tell me one
thing that I'm doing that bothers you. So then I
can then tell him the one thing that has about
bothering me. So it's just a good way to not
be passive in you know, in conversation, but also learn
(44:40):
something that maybe I might be doing that's annoying him.
So let's play the game right now, Darling. Is there
anything that I'm doing that is bothering you lately? Oh?
What what you did yesterday? Oh? Yeah? So, so Jane goes,
we had we brought this leather out from our garage
(45:02):
into the house because we wanted to clean it and
then like we needed to finish it and everything because
we want to move back to Nashville. We want to
where we are we are, okay, and so basically we
need some some you know, stuff to refinish the couch
and we get the wrong stuff. So jan is like,
all right, well do you mind researching so you can
find like what you want to use. I was like, yeah,
I'll I'll research it. I'll research it. And then she's
(45:26):
as she says that, she's like looking on her phone.
She's like, well, here's one. She's like, actually, you just
research I'm like, yeah, I told you, I'll research it.
Two minutes later, she's like, you know what, I'm just
gonna get this one. It says it's the best on Amazon,
like I'm just gonna get it. And I'm just like okay,
I'm like what what Why did you tell me to
research it? And I told you I'll take care of
(45:47):
it when you're just gonna do it right now, like
because I well, first fault, Oh, I'm sorry that that
bothers you. And then then her text message as I'm
leaving the house to run an air and with Jolie
Danna goes, oh you have to say was thank you.
I'm just like, all you have to do is say
thank you. I can't tell you how many times I
picked up my phone and put it back down on
(46:08):
my way to and from the house, but I was
I was trying to go buy our own advice and
take take a breath and pause because everything I wanted
to say was just childish, and you know, but I
handled it, and I handled it in a timely fashion,
and I knew I got the best thing. But thank you.
Here's the kicker, though, she said. When I was walking
(46:30):
out the door, She's like, well, after he already gave
me atitude, because I was just like, why would you
do that? She goes, well, I would have done it
faster and better than you anyway, as I'm walking out
the door. Uh, And I was just like, okay and
just walked out. So he should thank you for you
(46:50):
taking away an assignment you gave to him in the
first place. So Mark, I understand. Explain again, the man's
timeline is very skewed. Okay, So in those two minutes
I was able to find the best product and order
the best product. Now, that would have taken him two
(47:11):
hours on the computer searching, and mind you, it wouldn't
have been that day. It would not have because research
implies a certain amount of effort in time. But then
I realized, sometimes with Michael, his timeline is very different
than my timeline. And this is what Michael would have
done to mind you, The only reason he brought it
(47:32):
inside was because on his checklist it was like clean
the leather chair. This would be Mike. In about three
weeks in our moving truck comes, it still wouldn't have
been cleaned, and he'd go, you know, let's just sell it.
Let's just get word of what you do, because you
just don't prioritize properly. What Okay, I'm sorry that cleaning
(47:54):
this couch was on the top of our priority list
of all the other things that we're doing right now.
But a lot of times you'd just say, get rid
of it. You were about to throw away a four
dog bed because you don't want to, but you didn't.
You take it to the damn dry cleaners, Mike, take
it to the you know. But it's well that get
taken to the out of spite. We had this conversation
(48:15):
the other day. I said, yep, I'm going to laundry, Matt.
I'm gonna sit there for two hours where everything washes
and drives. But in his mind, he's like, just get
rid of it. And in my mind, I'm like, no,
we can fix it, we can wash it. But I apologize.
I just feel like sometimes Mark, and come on, you
know that the wives can do things a little bit faster,
(48:38):
but so then stop asking me to do this that right,
and don't when you're like I have to do everything.
No, no no, no, no no, But I just I was
able to Mark that I need a woman. Well no,
I'm just this isn't me beating up Michael or anything
like that. This is just a woman can do things
(49:00):
faster and on a better timeline and get it done sooner.
So in that moment, I wasn't being like, oh I
need I have one more thing I got to put
on my plate. That was just something where Okay, I
found something better and it's the best thing and it
arrives tomorrow. I can't tell you how much I'm hoping
that it's completely wrong. What the leather thing Amazon number
(49:24):
one best selling. It's the thank you? That why. It's
like I used didn't play this out with me. I
need you to go get my car washed for me.
It's really doring. I just don't have time today. Can
you do that for me? Okay? You know what, Actually
I'll do it myself. You're welcome for me time. You're
(49:45):
missing the point, Mark, It was something for him for me.
The letter, it was your job to do that. You
said you were going to clean the leather couch, so
I was getting that for you. So that's so you
did You did the example wrong, Mark, okay, so would
you like to retry that? Mind you? Let me just
say this. The reason I'm still wearing a jockstrap a
(50:06):
week after my second name is because on Sunday, four
days after my surgery, as any of my very intensive surgery,
oh to talk about what happened, no couch, which caused
me to get black and blue on my way, and
Jolie kept going, is it heavy? Is it heavy? Daddy?
I'm here, I'm hearying this like giant love seat chair
(50:28):
by myself on my back like a turtle in a shell,
and Jolie is just underneath my feet looking up at me.
Is it heavy? Heavy? Day? Heavy? Mind you though? He's like, Babe,
I gotta take a thirty minute up thirty minutes And
I said, Babe, go lay down. You did so much
today and I didn't. You didn't even have to do
any of that, like I was being so nice. Yeah,
because I was. I was productive. So there's nothing she
could say because I love I love productive, Mike. I
(50:48):
love it. It makes me so happy. So he takes
a nap and then you wake up and what do
you see? Remember? Are you serious? The house? Oh yeah,
I went to go take a nap. I couldn't really
sleep because I heard furniture dragging and noises dranking right
outside our bedroom. I come out. Our living rooms completely rearranged.
(51:13):
I mean, couches and chairs on the opposite sides of
the room, playplace, toys are all on. But how does
it look? Looks amazing minutes. That's a great one. I mean,
I just that was you know, the dragon. The furniture
out of the bedroom door and he's napping is fantastic.
(51:36):
The vacuum wasn't working. Yeah, so I get this game.
You asked him if anything is bothering him about you,
which enables you to not only give him one of
your own, it allows you to ridicule his thing and
show him why he's wrong. So what is your thing? What?
But the whole of the second I was gonna say
what's your thing? For him? Even though you kind of
(51:58):
won that whole, I didn't win any Hang, you didn't
win anything, but you kind of you know, I did
go offensive. Oh my god, here come the comments. Jenna
is so mean to like, No, we just play around
a lot. But I just I think a lot of women. No,
I think a lot of women. That's just again, there
are timelines are different than a man's timeline, and for
(52:18):
us it's just easier to do it ourselves. Okay, then
don't complain if you do it. I didn't complain one.
I'm saying in general, I gotta do everything well because
we kind of doll yourself. What bothers you about Mikero
was that it? Um? I mean, that's one of the things.
But um, I will say, you leave and the mind's
(52:39):
a lot smaller. You went, real big issue. But I
don't like the fact that you leave Jason's dirty diapers
either in the like you left his wet, very wet,
dirty diaper this morning in his crib put in trash. Okay,
I forgot that one. No, but then you always left
him in the pack and play so annoying. Okay, because
you've never left, I've clearly got off. Never you never
(53:04):
leave diapers in there usually. Actually, I don't you know
what else bothers me? Oh my god, this is not
how the game we're trying to show our listeners, how
we have better conversation. Were so after but usually by
the way, how it happens is I'll say like, hey,
he's like, I don't like it when you put the
steak knives in the dishwasher, and I'd be like, oh,
(53:25):
I'm sorry, I'll make sure to handwash them. And then
I'll say I don't like how you leave your shoes
right there, and he just says, oh, I'm sorry, but
I'll make I'll do better with that. That's usually how
it goes. It doesn't go like this. We're showing a
very terrible example of us both being very offensive. He
got his ball rolling. We're going so after j SATs,
he should stay a little inclined. He shouldn't lay flat
(53:48):
on his back. So thirty minutes, thirty minutes, okay, after
I found him this morning, I had to take a
big old okay, so I needed to put him down, right,
You can put him down in his raw her that's inclined, okay,
all right, that bothers you. Well, stop burping him and
having his spit up go all over the couch. And
(54:10):
we're getting rid of that carpet, you see, we're getting
rid of that. You'd like act like you would bring
that into the new house if I got it nicely cleaned. Yes,
Oh whereould you put it in the living room? Oh
but wait, she wouldn't because our designers didn't say that
that rugs should go in the house. So if they
didn't say it should, then it didn't belong there. Oh boy,
this is a fun episode. This is strange. Can someone say, like,
(54:33):
poor Janna, how in what way? Okay, all right, if
you can ask me what bothers me about the two
of you? Yeah, oh my god, I would love to
hear that doing this, But I have nothing that bothers
me about you. Well, thank you very much. That's sweet,
that one little thing. Yeah, I would love it. We
(54:53):
do a podcast for an hour a week. If we
get through that hour without you guys eating, that would
be really pleas I was really hungry, trust me, I know,
I'm sorry I was. I was so hungry. I get
so hungry. Can you can you hear anything like you can? Yeah?
(55:14):
It's a pet peeve of mine personally. I don't know
if it's the listeners. Notice that they may not pick
up on it at all because we do something that
is um, what yogurt like soft? Yeah, so maybe they
wouldn't notice, but it's something that bothers me, appreciate, appreciate feedback,
all right, absolutely, and we will respect that you guys
are in here multiple hours today as we're in here
in your home for one hour once a week. Respect
(55:37):
the workplace. I think that's going to wrap it up, alright, guys.
That was a great show that was all over the place.
Wine Down with Jane Kramer and I heart radio podcast.
Mike's back he and he has a cake, happy vasectomy
cake in front of him, because apparently that's a thing now,
vasectomy cake, You're the best tea. How do your balls feel?
(00:22):
Bade happy vosectomy um? You know, a little tender show,
but doing good. I'm physically wearing a jock strap right now,
so true story. I just put down Joy for bed
and I walked past our room and I see him
in no joke, a jock strap which just looks like
a male thong, and I was just like, what doesn't
(00:45):
go around your butt any but it's still like so
now you're like butt cheeks are all. But I was like,
what are you wearing? And he's like, it's a jock
strap And I was like, youtub boy is nice and tight.
You gotta keep them here? Are you going to continue
to wear a jock strap? Sects in my buddies? I
was like, hey, this is kind of nice. Everything stays
out of the way up and out of the way,
hid and tight and just you know, then you just
(01:07):
go about your business. I mean, that must be weird
to have like snaggy stuff down there. Like when you're
walking and stuff. Yeah, exactly, little empathy for the guy.
You don't understand what we deal with with bat wings?
What's up? Mike doesn't get them? Now they're wearing a jockstrap?
Does it? Like the ball stick to your the side
of your And I hate it. That's why I wear
(01:28):
fairly tight briefs because of that drives me nuts, and
I still deal with it. Don't you use baby powder?
Because I always see Mike like poor, like a dozen
that's a gallon of gold bond, more of a Johnson
and Johnson's kind of guy. Oh, I need a female
in here because it's just real male right now. After
(01:50):
that Ladies episode last week, you talk about all those
dreamy guys and potential hot nannies for women. Yeah, I
was listening to podcasts. I didn't get through all of
it yet, but I was listening to the part where
Amy was talking about whatever Reynolds was, you know, your
trainer or nanny or whatever. And Jane's just like I I.
I I was like, yeah, hiding a little bit more.
(02:11):
I know. I just couldn't, you know, come up with
the words to properly say it's okay. I'll just said
the same thing. If someone said one of those two
guys was my trainer and nanny, I'd be like, I
I so we'd have the same reaction. Oh man, speaking
of all that stuff, though, I'm just gonna wrap that
part up. Michael was like, what are you doing. I
was like, I'm in like a war right now with
(02:32):
hot nanny's all over the world. The hot nanny is
unite even our nanny, and Nashville was like, is this
something I need to be worried about? And then one
of my other britt Britt, She's like, was I ugly?
I was like, oh my god, yeah, it's like gritty. No.
I was like, and I've literally had to text all
our past nanny's and be like, you are beautiful. You
are beautiful. I think you're beautiful. So I mean, really
(02:54):
back for it. I mean a lot of times on
the show, I like to I like to start conversations,
and that's an interesting conversation in and but also because
you know, what works for me might not work for
everyone else. But apparently I was a very I was
offending a lot of the hot nanny's saying, you know,
I'm women in the workplace and they're getting It's just
it was just the whole I was just very you know,
(03:17):
and when you were bringing that to me and let
me know when you're texting so uh, you know intently,
it's finding like a d M war. And I'm not
going to name her because I think she just wants
the attention. Yeah, yeah, no, don't think about satisfaction. The
thing is, when you're telling me about it, I'm like,
it's just being professional, that's all it is. You wouldn't
show up to any other job interview or post a
picture for your resume, which you know some resumes nowaday
(03:39):
people might put it like a picture. You don't. You
wouldn't post a picture with your stuff hanging out. But
here's where she says, but so because I have big boobs,
Like that's just how you're discriminating women. I was like, no,
I'm actually not discriminating. Like you need to dress for
the part. If a guy wore hey, if he had
a shirt off and he came to an interview profession
or if he was you know, I mean, not even
(04:01):
a shirt off, because like your boobs can show. But
if you're wearing a lace literally nothing else, a barely
tank top and like I just think you need to
dress for the part. It's not about saying I don't
think everything else. I don't know, Mark, what do you think?
I agree, completely professional is the answer. You don't need
to be in an apron and just a professional look
is what we're looking for, because otherwise you might have
(04:24):
ulterior motives. But but she was like, just because I
have big boobs doesn't mean that I want to blah
blah blah, and like my boobs might be flapping around
because I wear and like that's fine. I'm just saying,
like the first interview in meeting, I just think that
you should dress more appropriately. Not but then are not
There's still a way to dress professionally. It doesn't matter. Yeah,
(04:47):
but what if I mean you have to talk with her.
Let's say she dressed it professionally and you hire her,
and then she shows up for work and after a
couple of weeks she gets more comfortable and stuff, showing
up in a crop top and jeane shorts, and all
of a sudden we have to have a talk. Yeah,
but I mean of our nannies, Like she had her
boobs out a lot, and again it's fine, Like I
was fine with it. Now I love pretending you're talking
(05:09):
about I actually do who's the actor in this family?
Thank you very much, But I don't care because she
loved her kids. You know, at the end of the day,
it's not about and she was beautiful, like it's I
just was more trying to have a conversation about it.
And it's not that I don't trust my husband. And
it's not that I'm not for women's rights and letting
boobs hang out. It's fine, but whatever. I can still
(05:30):
have my opinion and still spark a conversation. But really,
like the hot Nannies USA, um is, we'll have an issue.
And to the point where I was fearful that we're
going to lose the nanny we just hired in Nashville
because I didn't want her to think that we thought
she was ugly or because that's not the case. She's
she's beautiful, she's right for our family, and she's going
to love our kids, and that's what matters at the
(05:51):
end of the day, because and here's what I was
saying too, is at the end of the day, if
my husband or if I'm going to cheat, we're going
to cheat no matter what someone looks like end of
the day, no matter what they're wearing, no matter how
they dress, no matter what they look like. If you're
going to cheat, you're gonna cheat. It's just removing like
we've said numerous times on here, like Mark said, you know,
(06:11):
putting the meat in the cage. But it's just removing scenarios.
That's why it's like the whole concept of you can
never say never really because under the right circumstance, who
knows what people might do. Yeah, right, you're saying, like
the analogy, we user, don't put meat in the lion's cage.
But the truth is, if you're married to a lion,
he's gonna find meat somewhere exactly. That's what I'm saying.
If you're just gonna find it. I mean, you know,
(06:34):
I look back on not to bring it up, but
like something like they weren't pretty because it wasn't about
them being pretty. It was about him meeting his needs, right,
you know. That's well, that's that's that's another issue. So
when somebody cheats, do you factor in whether or not
they're better looking than you. I looked every single one
(06:54):
of the women that he was with, and I was
like honestly, majority of the time, from my personal experience
and just experience in general, men cheat down. I have
actually heard that as well, cheat down because I'm like,
for the for the partner, for the woman. I can
understand why that would be even more because then I
(07:17):
could see in a in a woman's head if they
try to justify somehow, well she is really pretty, you know,
I could see the temptation. But when you cheat down,
it's what is it? But that's what it's about. That's
what I'm saying to the course, It's not about what
someone looks like. If you're gonna cheat, you're gonna cheat.
Why is that? Why do men cheat down? Because they don't?
(07:39):
Are those the women that are available at at the
moment the need arises? Are we gonna backlash on this
or any of this affair is going to be like, oh,
so you didn't think I was pretty? What his stupid
question would have been easier if they were supermodels? Like,
holy crap? Would you have said, well, I can't say
(08:00):
I blame him, Um, it all sucks. Of course, it
wouldn't have made much. I can't see that, but also
could even hurt self esteem that much more. I will say,
oh no, but it doesn't matter because for me, a
lot of the women had like larger boobs, so my insecurity.
(08:20):
So now I for probably a good year and a
half after everything, I would make sure my boobs were
up and more because I thought that's like what he wanted,
because that's what I saw. But again it's actually I know,
but you know what I mean, it was the what
was like sex in that moment, blah blah blah whatever.
But I think that's where us women go as we
(08:41):
then start to compare and want to kind of morph
into what they had, and it's so wrong because it's
not about what they look like, how big their boobs are,
anything like that. It's just filling a need for them.
So anyways, we got a little off topic. But no,
I mean that's a good topic, though, is that. I mean,
it's really it's not a good topic, but it's a
(09:06):
you know, conversational topic. Only men who have cheated say
their mistresses were better looking than their wives. For women,
they say that their husbands are often better looking, but
their mistresses are usually in better shape. That does not
surprise me, man, you start working out more, no, honey,
(09:28):
because again, you know, that's not for me, and he
knows this too. For me would be an emotional fair.
That's where I would go if if we ever, you know,
God willing, that doesn't ever happen. But I think God forbidness.
God will say God forbid because that's where I that's
where I can fall into. That's where I have to
(09:49):
set healthy boundaries. I have found that my wife and
I've been to get the twenty two years. If I cheated,
and she's been clear about this from the beginning. If
I cheat, it's over, really done, goodbye. But I feel
like if she cheats on me, I feel like we
could make it work because I feel like if she cheats,
it's mean she's really not getting something she needs from me.
(10:09):
I am not meeting a long list of needs for
her to go elsewhere, because she is not the type
to just be like to just jump on somebody else.
We're men are jumpers sometimes, you know, men will just
give it. Yeah, we're women. It's more of a deep
emotional thing. And maybe that's sexist, and I'm sorry if
it's stereotypical, but I do feel like if she were
to cheat, it's if I cheat, it is my fault.
(10:30):
If she cheats is my fault. Yeah, we are joined now,
but Katie prevents you on to the managing director of
Westside Nanny's. Oh god, are you serious? Really? Yeah, Katie
is her name. There we go. I don't guess. I
think this is kind of last minute. Hello. Hi, Hi,
(10:56):
Hi Katie. How are you good? How are you great?
I hear you're talking about hot nanny n Wrap it up,
but I guess we'll start. So you own a nanny agency.
I do. I own west Bide Nanny. We're based in
Los Angeles, so we work with families primarily here in
(11:17):
Los Angeles area, but also across the country of Native So.
I guess one of the main backlashes I had was
I was talking about because we were trying to find
a nanny and we used one of the website nanny's
uh outlets, and I had made a comment about how
they had like the perky boobs up and you know
that the wives are hiring. And I got major backlash
because people are like, well, women are like, you know,
(11:38):
I have boobs and I should be able to show
my boobs. And what my husband and I are saying
is we just think that for an interview you should
be a little bit more professional. Well, I would agree
with you. Um, and we see those pictures too, you
see amazed at what Danny sending a they're applying for
a job. But I think for us it's not about
(12:00):
whether someone has boots or not. I mean we all
do right, Um, It's about good judgment and dolth awareness
and professionalism and how you're presenting yourself for a job.
And I think those things are two very different things.
So it's not that of this nanny is hot, you
know about the turn off, it's that, well, if she
(12:20):
chose to use the photo of herself to apply professional job,
any job, whether it be a nanny draw or another
that shows a lack of good judgment and and good
judgment is really important when you're hiring unanityes. I agree.
Have you ever had any wives like say, you know what,
what's around that? Like what if they are a dressed
(12:41):
in appropriately? Like do you talk to them? Or how
does that work? Well? We get requests, you know, every
every single day from moms, and you'd be for price
requests go both ways. I mean for every request that
we have from a mom that told us, you know,
I don't want someone too pretty. Um. We also get
the request to hear the way around where a parent
will say, hey, we need it to fit in at
(13:02):
the country club or go to the star sided events
and not be an outsider, or you know, we don't
want a nanny as overlate, or we don't want this
or that. We even had a mom recently tell us that,
you know, my three year old seems to be more
attractive to blonde. So it's like a blonde nanny. I mean,
we hear it all, um. But our response to that,
of course, is you know, those things shouldn't matter. Um.
(13:24):
First of all, they protect the characteristics. You actually can't
discuss any basted about when someone looks like or the
color of their skin or any of those things. But
it really comes down to is someone a great nanny?
And that comes down to experience references, education of personality
and why they really want to work in this field.
So I have a question, Katie, and this you know
(13:47):
again I'm trying to I feel like maybe this this field,
like nanny, is a little bit more personal because of
the interaction and the relationship. Right, So it's a little
bit more personal person and unconnected. Um, but still like
for any job out there, you know, you gotta address
the part. You gotta be professional, and the employer can
(14:09):
hire whoever they want, and they might have there, you know,
kind of mindset on the kind of person they want,
down to the fact of maybe how they look or
how they present themselves and so on. So when it
comes to something like nanny, I mean, I feel like
people still have the right to, I guess, ask those
questions and make those requests right. They can ask them right,
(14:36):
and a lot of times they're they're going after the
wrong thing. And what we try to do is really
refrain that to be something that's positive when we're not
going to discriminate based upon those factors, but we do
really want to understand what the family is cooping for, um,
what are the qualities that they're looking for, and what
is leading to that request. UM. But I think you
brought up a good point that I really want to
(14:57):
touch on. What you said, This is a really small job.
It's you know, it's different than your everyday job. And
I would agree with you, um to an extent. I
think that that's where a lot of problems happen is
because parents you feel like, oh, this is my home.
You know, this is so personal, it is your personal job,
and so boundaries can sometimes fall to the wayside, and
(15:17):
that's practice on the nanny's and that's also on the
parents end. And all I think parents don't totally realize
or comprehend, which is something you try to educate our
clients about. Is the moment you hire a nanny, you
become a workplace. So you get may be your home,
but it's her workplace, and so you have to have
boundaries too. So that means you know, you guys can
(15:40):
be walking around in your underwears if what we're your
own home like you or someone's workplace, so you kind
of have to have some boundaries um for your own
home too. And then you can absolutely have her head
boundaries as well. So for example, there is appropriate address
credit work like dranny should not be wondering your own
inn hop can serviceni. That's not appropriate for the workplace.
And so the nanny you will hire, they are role
(16:03):
models for your children, So you can't have boundaries and
you should um. Just like nanny shouldn't really be talking
about her date last night or her night clubbing on sideday,
you also shouldn't be talking about the fight you just
had with your spouse or you know, any kind of
those personal things. It does need dreaming, professional and really
about the kids. I have a question at a very
(16:23):
good point, by the way, I love all of that,
when it comes to healthy eating habits. What if I'm
not not saying, you know, we don't know what um
we we just hired a new nanny Nashville, but we've
had a previous nanny. We're just eating habits weren't that good?
And I I've seen it. Maybe how does that? How
do I say that reflect now on our daughter what
(16:44):
she might think a snack is, And how do we
how do we say without hurting the nanny's fault and
being like, hey, you know, this is what we need
to feed our child in the house, and you know
we're not going to go to donut shops and that's
just right. And and in particular, what Janna is trying
to beat around the bushes say that nanny is a
(17:05):
little bit more of a weight, which there's no discrimination here,
but maybe they're eating habits aren't very healthy. But we
want to make sure that our kids are experiencing the
eating habits that we want for them, and that Jana
and I practice. Sure. I think it just comes back
to your the job that you're hiring someone for, UM,
(17:25):
And really whether or not a nanny's overweight or not
doesn't mean she can't UM teach your children about nutrition
and cook healthy meals for them. And so it's less
about her own eating habits and more about what you
need in your role. And so I think when you're
interviewing nannies and it sounds like you hired someone, but
if you were interviewing with us, we would say, talked
(17:45):
to everyone about that in the interview, talked about how
nutrition has a foreign to your family, and talk then
talked about what that looks like. You know, if you
get this job, you know these are good things we'd
like to cook. I'd like you to be able to cook,
cooking and healthy meals that are well rounded them coping
men when you're working. Here's partaking the meals that you
cook as well. But we just want to show them
as demonstrates help the eating house to the kids. Which
(18:07):
I'm a mom too, that's super important UM and definitely
a point that I talked about with my own mammy.
So I think just again reframing it it's not about them.
They're not causing anyone paying or the other. It's what
they're going to do in their role and what do
you expect on the job, and your nanny should be
able to fulfill those Absolutely, I love that. And one
(18:31):
more question before we wrap up, Katie. Janna and I
we've had a few nannies in the past and we
had a tendency where we would hire somebody we kind
of had a prior relationship with that started more of
a friend. So definitely we had an issue with the
kind of the boundaries and that, like you talked about
like our house in a workplace, and we've tried to
you know, we have a new nanny in Los Angeles.
(18:51):
We just hired a new one for Nashville when we
moved back there, and we really made a point to
touch on the things that you're talking about and be
you know, on the front end, kind discuss the things
that we've learned that we need or want them, you know,
for our kids to be exposed to and so on.
What kind of advice though, because Jane and I are
very personable, very affectionate people who we want people, whether
(19:13):
they work for us or not, we want them to
feel comfortable. We want them to feel kind of like
part of the family and and talk to us about
life in general, because we just love talking and hearing
about their life and we want, you know, them to
to to be willing to share and everything like that.
So what advice would you give, you know, people like
Jan and I who have a hard time ourselves kind
(19:33):
of sticking to those boundaries of employee or employee employer relationship.
I think it can be hard. I think it's something
that like everyone struggles with us, to be honest, and
it it's it's a fine line that you need to
figure out exactly where it is for you. But I
do think that you know the way to start off
a new relationship. UM, and I would encourage you, just
(19:53):
just for the nanity just hired us to have what
we call it a work agreement. But it's a contrast
unless we really stout and I'm this is what we
expect of you, and this is what we're going to
give you in return. And you know, you need to
keep paying your nanny legally, you need to make sure
that she has UM you know that's just treated like
a professional as well. UM, And then I think you
will get that back, but really putting out your expectations
(20:16):
and then maintaining that I think sometimes feel like, oh,
she's just part of the family, and yes, that's true,
but I think again those boundaries can go out the window.
Oh she's just part of the family, Well, she wouldn't
mind working on her day off, or she wouldn't mind
doing this and that, and everything gets a little fuzzy.
And I think that you do, as much as you
want to much to feel part of the family, you
(20:36):
can't feel that way. I think back to a great
job you have where you really have an afit be
towards your employer and we're it felt like a great fit,
but you still knew it was the job and it's
still professional. And I think that goes both ways. And
so if families will set up a contract in the beginning,
paint out the expectations, pay their nanny legally and professionally,
you know, give her vacation, and make it feel more
(20:59):
like a job for her, I think that goes a
long way in making sure that that behavior is also
models back. And you just can't talk about everything that
you would naturally, some things need to be reserved for
you know, the bedroom when you have an employee working
in your home because you just you just can't talk
about everything as you would if no one was there. Yeah, boom, well,
thank you so. And what's the name of your agency
(21:20):
again in l A, Well, what's side Nanny west side Nannies?
Be happy to hope. Thank you so much. We really
appreciate it. You're welcome, good luck. That was really good advice.
It was you're scared at first, I have to discuss
more n any stuff. I was just because I'm so
terrified that our new namey is gonna listen to this.
And I don't want her to quit because I really
(21:41):
like I quit before she starts, because I really like her.
It's not about beauty, though, it's about It's about like
you could have a lovely nanny, but there are certain
women that might be more I don't know. Putting it
out there, like we said before, it's not saying that
you can only hire but ugly nanny is that's nonsense,
all right. So I mean, regardless, someone's gonna take this
(22:01):
the wrong way. I didn't realize that no matter what
I say, someone's going to be offended by something that
I say. Always your public figure. But it's frustrating because
and then everyone's like, why are you why do you
comment on the negative? Because I really don't want to
offend people. That's not no. But you don't have a
problem stirring up, which I love because not a lot
(22:25):
of people, you know, so many people are too politically correct. Yeah,
and don't call it like to see it. Well, I
don't know. I just I don't like to ever offend anyone.
So well, that's that's their own issue for taking offense.
So before we talk onto the next before we go
to the next subject, we're going to take a quick break.
(22:45):
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(23:49):
feel like we are in the movie um, How to
Lose a Guy in Ten Days, where Kate Hadson's character says,
I want to talk about something meaningful. Sometimes when we
get these breakdowns about some of the topics for the show.
For some of the shows, Mike's like, I want to
talk about politics, and well, it's just funny because you
(24:11):
get some of these things, some of the hot topics
in society at the moment, and some of it just
seems so petty and you're just like, really, this is
what we're talking about and having a platform like this.
You know, I made the joke to Jane. You realize
you do want to talk about things that are meaningful,
and we want that for our listeners because they can
go read about like we're about to talk about Danny
(24:31):
Amndola and Olivia Copo for a minute, that whole situation.
So people, there's a million other places people can go.
They can read any tabloid magazine, they can go Alige
and see any article. Don't come here to We don't
want them to come here to listen to that. We're
gonna give our two cents in a minute. We're gonna
talk about it right now. So regardless, we're gonna talk
about it right now because just in case if you
do want the hot topics. So I don't really know.
(24:52):
Apparently they broke up. He wrote this long instagram you
still have a cough? By the way, how do you okay? Um?
It's a long instagram about her? Would you like to
preface some of this? Man? I mean, look from my
point of view, people who have followed this know what
(25:14):
he said on on Instagram. And then the fact that
he well he basically said miscommunication my ass. He he
said what he said he was either drunk or just
angry and typed away. And here's the deal. I don't
understand they've been on and off for a couple of
years or whatever it is. I don't know their whole history,
(25:35):
but Olivia Coppo has clearly been a climber. She's dated
I am. I look at her dating history. She's dated
Tim Tebow, She's dated Ryan Lockey, she dated Nick Jonas,
she dated Danny, she dated now she's talking to you
know Z and who else? I mean, the list goes
on and on. Are you saying she's famous for dating
(25:55):
um celebrities? What else is think? I will say, just
to defend that point in his thing, Danny said that
she got upset that he wouldn't post a lot about her,
So clearly she wanted to be with him to be like, oh, I'm,
you know, with this football player, which then makes sense
(26:17):
to your point. But who knows because we don't have
her side of the story. But I can see why
you think that she's a social climber. I mean her,
how can she just she just happened to date all
these famous people. Well you're running those circles, right, And yes,
I understand that when you're in those circles, the people
they introduce you to is probably someone of celebrity as well.
(26:39):
But I mean, what is the fact that he said,
you know, she's she was always upset for me for
not posting about her on the page, which you know,
whether he's more private, that's fine, but clearly she didn't.
She doesn't want the privacy. She wants to be more
out there in the celebrity will say any relationship, whether
it's a public one like this or even a private
(27:02):
one of people who aren't celebrities, there's some people that
you know, are like, hey, why aren't you posting about me?
Why why aren't you posting a picture on Facebook or
social media. It's so regardless of celebrity or not, I've
experienced and seeing people like that where they want to be,
you know, part of your life more and post more
and all that. Some people are more private, but let's
(27:23):
spin it because some people don't post because they probably
want to look available, oh for sure. So I know
there's some people that they're like, oh, well, he's a
he's an artist and he doesn't need to post a
photo of me, And it's like, uh, guy, artists don't
need to have that persona that's so out the window.
It's not even funny. He's not just posting you because
(27:45):
of that. No one wants to look available for not
the right reasons. If anything, record label or or TV
show is not going to hire a guy because he
has a girlfriend or a wife. If anything, I feel
like nowadays people are becoming more marketable because of a
relationship they have, except for maybe some of these reality
stars who can find themselves in the public more frequently
(28:08):
if they're dating somebody new, like if they're sheer real daters.
I e. Olivia Colpo, But I mean it's just like
who cares. I will say it's harder for women, though,
I mean they there's so many times where I felt
like I had to look available because you know, someone
might not hire you, which is so screwed up. And
I'm glad it's changing. But I can see for the
girl how it can be hard. But for the guys,
(28:29):
I'm like, guys have it like so easy. Why because
it's fine if you have a girlfriend or a wife.
I mean, look at all the country artists and celebrities.
They don't need to have that magnet. You're still you're
still a magnet. You're still like a magnet even if
you have a relationship. But so you're saying a girl,
(28:51):
a female artist isn't as for sure. I had to
hide in the very beginning. I had to hie that
I didn't have a boyfriend because I was supposed to
look more available. That was something that was verbally told
to me by my first manager. What I don't understand
about that is but a guy could have a relationship.
What I don't understand is country fans. I mean what
(29:15):
I would love to know the ratio of female to
male primarily female? Yah? Right, So why would it? Why
would it matter? It's just the old skew thinking, right, Yeah,
that's all it is. It's anyway, this whole, this whole situation.
I don't want to spend any more time on it.
It's let's take a break. Yeah alright. So I honestly
(29:39):
loathe perfume shopping. I don't know, I just feel like
it's super overwhelming and I don't want to commit to
a two bottle. And I feel like anytime I've gotten
you something i've missed. Well, no, I like the one
thing you got me. But I don't know. With Sunford,
it's super easy because you can basically, okay, I'll say this,
there's more than fo designer brands for you to choose
(30:01):
a perfumer clone for each month. So basically you can
do tom Ford, Gucci, Versacchi and it's good for a month,
so you don't have to commit to the big bottle.
That's the thing. Like Mike, I liked what you've gotten me,
but I just feel like I don't know if I
want to commit to like the juicy smell, like the
entire life. Because the Centered, we can just choose the
(30:21):
perfume that you want to try and they'll send it,
send a thirty day supply that has sprays in it. Yeah,
it's so great. So I mean that's basically like a
month for me. Um it's enough to apply more than
four times daily for months. So with an exclusive offer
just for our listeners, you can get off your first
month today. That's only seven fifty for your first fragrance.
So you go to Center dot com slash Janna and
(30:43):
use our code Janna for off your first month. Again,
that's Cent bered sc E N T B I r
D dot com slash janna for you to try out
your first perfume or cologne for just seven dollars and
fifty cents. Sign on and smell amazing. Interesting topic. Did
you know actually that the benefits of your husband's gas
(31:06):
can help you live longer? So the study found that
the stinky um byproduct most wise hate, could actually reduce
the risk of cancer, heart attacks, strokes, arthritis, and dementia.
According to other research, marriage is an important factor affecting
the survival of heart attack patients too, which means even
if you're already suffered um health issues, his finest farts
could actually keep you alive, kicking and sharp. I mean,
(31:32):
that is the silliest thing I've ever read. We're just reaching, man, society.
Society is just reaching to find anything. Yeah, to to
your fart will give me a longer life. That's gonna be. Yeah,
you're welcome. I'm gonna start saying you're welcome instead of
excuse me and say honey, you're welcome every time, every time,
every time. Fart. Now you're welcome. Here's a longer life.
(31:54):
Let me put out the article that proves I'm saving
your life right here. We're a lot of emails today.
I would love to Victoria has a question about your tattoos, Mike,
She says, I love listening to your podcast and following
Joanna on social media and through Joanna's videos on Instagram.
I have seen the slow progression of Mike's tattoos. Is
there a story or a reason and Mike's decision to
(32:14):
pick some of the tattoos he did, is there a
significance in getting them? In this time of Mike's self reflection?
Thank you all so much for all you guys do
and talk about. No, I just like him, No, No,
I'm just kidding. No, Victoria. Um, yeah, there is significance
to everything. Um, it's a word. It's a sleeve, in
(32:35):
in in, in progress to process. Um, it's gonna be
a full sleeve. And everything I have is meaningful. Um,
you know. And then people who have seen I have
both kids handprints on my forearm with clocks in the
time that they're born. Um, which the tattoo artists screwed
(32:57):
it up. Oh no, he put the wrong time, but
the wrong tel you put because you kind of do
the clock like sideways and you put four oh six
as opposed to four oh one. Yeah, she's only off
by a few minutes. It's still it's not the actual
date or the time that our daughter was born. Yeah,
that's why I go to a new artist now. And
(33:18):
then he also has a face. But it's all about
like everything means something. So the trees mean what trees
are like fourth rightness, honesty, um, you know, which is
how I'm trying to live my life nowadays, and everything.
And then the roses is simple for new beginnings, which,
as you guys know, Jane and I are having. And
then I have Jane's beautiful face on my shoulder, but
(33:39):
right now I look like a six year old man
because it's not finished. So there's that. And then he's,
you know, got kind of hairy arm. So I'll look
at my face and I'll be like, I have a
hair growing out of my chin. I have to pull
my hair chins anyways, but now I have to pull
my hair chins off my face on your arm every
time I take my shirt off. And it was like,
can you please next session work on my face? Didn't
(34:00):
get that done because I want to look more pretty.
We see that because I'm curious or is it not?
You don't want to show it till it's done. I
look like a six year old woman on his arm
doesn't look that bad. It does. Let's see here we go,
it's coming off. The shirt is coming out. Sleep Instagram
stories like yeah, sleepless t shirt on under it, so
it'll be oh wow, oh wow, I think it's lovely.
(34:26):
What so they gonna add color to it or what
are they gonna have no color? But he's got a
shade it to make it look more vibrant and make
it pop and just don't so it doesn't look so aged.
And what is she doing in that picture because it
looks like her eyes are closed. I'm I'm praying. Well,
I thought maybe you were like singing into a microphone
from the original picture they took it from. No that,
I don't know why why they closed my mass because
(34:48):
I have it was kind of a mix between this
inspirational picture that I have, Uh that's not Janna, and
then of a tattoo and then a picture of Janna.
So we're kind of marrying the two together. Um, but
tattoo artist he ended up changing because he didn't like
the tattoo artists guy. So now we have a new
one and that's more expensive, and the new one has
(35:08):
to finish the old ones work because it's a weird
conflict in the tattoo world. Yeah, oh definitely. Um. I
mean when I went into this shop, which is a
well known shop in Los Angeles. I mean, the guys
I talked to first, we're like, are you willing to
get any of that lasered off? And I looked into
it and that would have been like thirty dollars to
four grand and would take like two and a half years.
(35:31):
So I'm like, I'm good. So, I mean, because it works,
not bad, it's just not as creative as I had
hoped on something and to give them a clean, you know, canvas,
canvas um. But this guy has been great that I'm
working with. And the Bang Bang, I hear good things
about Bang Bang. It's not Bang Bang. But this guy
(35:51):
is great that I'm working with, and he's been willing
to kind of take what I already have and make
it better. Hey, do you want to read the email
from Ashley interesting? Ashley says, I just recently ended my
four year relationship and engagement with my partner because he
has a sex and porn addict. It's been almost two months,
and I find myself doubting my decision a lot. He
(36:11):
did tell me in the beginning that he was an
addict and he was in counseling. At the time, I
was pretty naive to what a sex addict was and
honestly never thought he would do anything to hurt me.
But over the four years, he stepped out of our
relationship twice, received inappropriate photos, had inappropriate conversations, and was
consistently active watching porn. Through this time, he would be
in and out of counseling in groups. The most recent
boundary he crossed was messaging a girl he frequently sees
(36:34):
the gym and complimenting her inappropriately on her body. I
was tired of putting myself back together. I called off
our wedding, which is only which was only a few
months away, and moved to another state. But lately I
find myself doubting my decision. How do you feel confident
in knowing that something you can do that sucks? I
think doubting yourself is the worst thing. But I if
(37:00):
you can say that you've tried everything, then I think
that's easier to not doubt yourself. So I knew that
I would always doubt myself to be like, what do
you have? Would would Mike have changed, and I would
never have known that if I didn't try now again,
if Mike knows that, if he steps out, or you know,
(37:20):
we're done because there's so much I can personally take
physically personally, like I I, there's only so much like
we we can handle. And so if it continues to happen,
even though I know that Michael is an addict and
there's that possibility, he has to do his work of
staying in recovery and staying in his boundaries and in
(37:41):
his work. So if it was happen me leaving, I
could rest knowing that I did everything I could possibly do.
So you might be having that doubt because maybe somewhere
inside you you don't think that you maybe fought as
hard as you should have. So maybe that's where the
(38:04):
doubt is coming from. Because I would have had that
same doubt if I divorced Mike when I found out
about everything, I would have had that doubt, being like
I wonder if he could have changed, I wonder if
we could have made it work. I think he did
the work. I think it's hard for people in general
to think back on something and really be confident knowing
that they gave it everything they have. I feel like
(38:25):
it's easy for people to justify it. Well, maybe I
could have done a little bit more. I don't I
disagree with you, because if you did something right now,
I would divorce you and then been like I did
everything and saying you don't. I'm just saying I feel
like some people it's easy, especially in the aftermath after
some time has passed, like you made the decision, you're
(38:47):
lonely and you're contemplating, right, and you're just kind of like, well,
did I did I really do everything? You know? And
I mean I know I do that in my life,
whether my football career, other things. I'm like, did I
work as hard as I could? And then I try
to remind myself Yeah, yeah, I did, you know. But
it's still hard, especially with something that was so meaningful
(39:09):
for you, whether it's a relationship with it's a job,
no matter what it is. I mean, you know. She
says that at the beginning of the relationship, he disclosed
to her that he wasn't addict. Now it is four
years ago, so you know, the biggest reason we've been
able to reconcile and continue to make this work is
because you've seen change we both have in ourselves and
(39:32):
in one another and in our relationship. So after four years,
she's not seeing that change, and he's still doing things
like that, he's clearly not doing the work, whether he's
in groups or going to meetings. If he's still doing that,
he's not really in recovery. So I mean, I think
that answers her question, you know, Yeah, and hopefully you
(39:55):
can rest in that knowing because if he's not doing
the work and staying active recovery, then that's going to
be impossible for you to continue on a healthy relationship together.
So you can just be like, all right, like he
couldn't do the work and you tried. Yeah, that's that's
my twosons. Clearly, was that a spur of the moment
decision four years? Right? It's not four years? Yeah, And
(40:17):
good on you for for making that hard decision, you know,
a few months before the wedding, and you're the point
you brought up, I think is the key point of
this is don't confuse doubts with loneliness, because if you
moved to another state, you're spending a lot of time
by yourself, I assume, and so you're missing him and
that's normal. That doesn't mean that you made a mistake
(40:38):
here exactly. And also the second that you do find
someone else, you're going to be like, oh wow, okay,
so yeah. I never realized it could be like oh
yeah yeah. Um. Kristen's email is interesting as well. I've
never heard this issue before. I can honestly state I'm
really struggling in my marriage right now. My husband's sister
has this weird obsession with him, and she's constantly needing
(40:59):
him help for anything and everything. She's extremely clinging to him,
and from the outside looking in, she actually she's his wife.
The last straw was when she went and had a
boudoir photo shoot and sent him her own brother the pictures,
asking him what he thought. He agrees that wasn't right,
but he won't tell her that she's too clinging obsessive
with him. I know where to go from here. I've
(41:21):
tried to talk to him about it, but nothing ever comes.
If it please helps, I want to know where they're
from here. Can Can someone explain to me exactly a boudoir?
I think it's a linger is shoe basically, yes, it's
a lingerie shoe, but it's you typically done for your partner, right,
(41:41):
it's done. Maybe you're engaged, maybe you're about to have
a baby, maybe you want your thinking of having a baby,
so you want to kind of preserve things. It's something
for your I think it's usually a gift for your partner.
It's not, although Tanya was considering doing it just for herself.
I know what I'm getting Mother's Day? Do I train
inslates to women's private dressing room on Francie, So what's
(42:05):
the meal version locker room? So she took lingerie photos
of herself. I don't think they're too revealing. I don't
think they're typically nude photos. No, they're just like real,
like stringy. Her own brother. You never oh gosh, like
I love my brother, but I would never send him.
I would throw up in my mouth. I mean, if
(42:26):
tera sent you launder, not because she's not beautiful. Is gorgeous,
but no, I can't even I don't even know how
to answer this because I I can't relate to it.
I think that's no, she's right, it's wrong. Well, and
he thinks it's wrong too, right, he needs to stop weirdo.
She's not doing it. She keeps bringing it up, but
(42:47):
nothing ever comes of it. That's just weird. Well, I mean,
do you think like maybe they have feelings for each other? Stop?
I mean, this is is that happening? Game throw you
know what I'm saying. I don't watch Game of Thrones, um,
but I mean you never know. I mean there's if
(43:09):
I sent lingerie photos to my brother Steve, he would
be like, what the f is wrong with you? That's disgusting? Right, So,
but because he's not saying anything, maybe he's got the
Hotspur's sister. Should Kristen go directly to the sister and
have a talk with her or does that just blow
it all up? If he If her husband can't, then
(43:30):
I would she said to her husband, I need you
to address this. And if you don't know, yes, great advice,
come to Mike and Janna and Mark, Mike, Jane and
Mark and we'll give you and then easton for any
Uh what's that called? What you just did? Translation tips?
Oh my goodness, let's take a break. Oh, I have
(43:55):
a fun game we can play. Okay, So Mike and
I like to do this thing. I don't know if
it's actually a smart thing to do, but we've been
able to kind of talk about our issues in a
funny way. Again, don't listen to us. This might not
work this and it might not be Yeah, this might
not be therapeutic. But sometimes it will say to him,
(44:15):
if there's something bothering me, I'll say, tell me one
thing that I'm doing that bothers you. So then I
can then tell him the one thing that has about
bothering me. So it's just a good way to not
be passive in you know, in conversation, but also learn
(44:40):
something that maybe I might be doing that's annoying him.
So let's play the game right now, Darling. Is there
anything that I'm doing that is bothering you lately? Oh?
What what you did yesterday? Oh? Yeah? So, so Jane goes,
we had we brought this leather out from our garage
(45:02):
into the house because we wanted to clean it and
then like we needed to finish it and everything because
we want to move back to Nashville. We want to
where we are we are, okay, and so basically we
need some some you know, stuff to refinish the couch
and we get the wrong stuff. So jan is like,
all right, well do you mind researching so you can
find like what you want to use. I was like, yeah,
I'll I'll research it. I'll research it. And then she's
(45:26):
as she says that, she's like looking on her phone.
She's like, well, here's one. She's like, actually, you just
research I'm like, yeah, I told you, I'll research it.
Two minutes later, she's like, you know what, I'm just
gonna get this one. It says it's the best on Amazon,
like I'm just gonna get it. And I'm just like okay,
I'm like what what Why did you tell me to
research it? And I told you I'll take care of
(45:47):
it when you're just gonna do it right now, like
because I well, first fault, Oh, I'm sorry that that
bothers you. And then then her text message as I'm
leaving the house to run an air and with Jolie
Danna goes, oh you have to say was thank you.
I'm just like, all you have to do is say
thank you. I can't tell you how many times I
picked up my phone and put it back down on
(46:08):
my way to and from the house, but I was
I was trying to go buy our own advice and
take take a breath and pause because everything I wanted
to say was just childish, and you know, but I
handled it, and I handled it in a timely fashion,
and I knew I got the best thing. But thank you.
Here's the kicker, though, she said. When I was walking
(46:30):
out the door, She's like, well, after he already gave
me atitude, because I was just like, why would you
do that? She goes, well, I would have done it
faster and better than you anyway, as I'm walking out
the door. Uh, And I was just like, okay and
just walked out. So he should thank you for you
(46:50):
taking away an assignment you gave to him in the
first place. So Mark, I understand. Explain again, the man's
timeline is very skewed. Okay, So in those two minutes
I was able to find the best product and order
the best product. Now, that would have taken him two
(47:11):
hours on the computer searching, and mind you, it wouldn't
have been that day. It would not have because research
implies a certain amount of effort in time. But then
I realized, sometimes with Michael, his timeline is very different
than my timeline. And this is what Michael would have
done to mind you, The only reason he brought it
(47:32):
inside was because on his checklist it was like clean
the leather chair. This would be Mike. In about three
weeks in our moving truck comes, it still wouldn't have
been cleaned, and he'd go, you know, let's just sell it.
Let's just get word of what you do, because you
just don't prioritize properly. What Okay, I'm sorry that cleaning
(47:54):
this couch was on the top of our priority list
of all the other things that we're doing right now.
But a lot of times you'd just say, get rid
of it. You were about to throw away a four
dog bed because you don't want to, but you didn't.
You take it to the damn dry cleaners, Mike, take
it to the you know. But it's well that get
taken to the out of spite. We had this conversation
(48:15):
the other day. I said, yep, I'm going to laundry, Matt.
I'm gonna sit there for two hours where everything washes
and drives. But in his mind, he's like, just get
rid of it. And in my mind, I'm like, no,
we can fix it, we can wash it. But I apologize.
I just feel like sometimes Mark, and come on, you
know that the wives can do things a little bit faster,
(48:38):
but so then stop asking me to do this that right,
and don't when you're like I have to do everything.
No, no no, no, no no, But I just I was
able to Mark that I need a woman. Well no,
I'm just this isn't me beating up Michael or anything
like that. This is just a woman can do things
(49:00):
faster and on a better timeline and get it done sooner.
So in that moment, I wasn't being like, oh I
need I have one more thing I got to put
on my plate. That was just something where Okay, I
found something better and it's the best thing and it
arrives tomorrow. I can't tell you how much I'm hoping
that it's completely wrong. What the leather thing Amazon number
(49:24):
one best selling. It's the thank you? That why. It's
like I used didn't play this out with me. I
need you to go get my car washed for me.
It's really doring. I just don't have time today. Can
you do that for me? Okay? You know what, Actually
I'll do it myself. You're welcome for me time. You're
(49:45):
missing the point, Mark, It was something for him for me.
The letter, it was your job to do that. You
said you were going to clean the leather couch, so
I was getting that for you. So that's so you
did You did the example wrong, Mark, okay, so would
you like to retry that? Mind you? Let me just
say this. The reason I'm still wearing a jockstrap a
(50:06):
week after my second name is because on Sunday, four
days after my surgery, as any of my very intensive surgery,
oh to talk about what happened, no couch, which caused
me to get black and blue on my way, and
Jolie kept going, is it heavy? Is it heavy? Daddy?
I'm here, I'm hearying this like giant love seat chair
(50:28):
by myself on my back like a turtle in a shell,
and Jolie is just underneath my feet looking up at me.
Is it heavy? Heavy? Day? Heavy? Mind you though? He's like, Babe,
I gotta take a thirty minute up thirty minutes And
I said, Babe, go lay down. You did so much
today and I didn't. You didn't even have to do
any of that, like I was being so nice. Yeah,
because I was. I was productive. So there's nothing she
could say because I love I love productive, Mike. I
(50:48):
love it. It makes me so happy. So he takes
a nap and then you wake up and what do
you see? Remember? Are you serious? The house? Oh yeah,
I went to go take a nap. I couldn't really
sleep because I heard furniture dragging and noises dranking right
outside our bedroom. I come out. Our living rooms completely rearranged.
(51:13):
I mean, couches and chairs on the opposite sides of
the room, playplace, toys are all on. But how does
it look? Looks amazing minutes. That's a great one. I mean,
I just that was you know, the dragon. The furniture
out of the bedroom door and he's napping is fantastic.
(51:36):
The vacuum wasn't working. Yeah, so I get this game.
You asked him if anything is bothering him about you,
which enables you to not only give him one of
your own, it allows you to ridicule his thing and
show him why he's wrong. So what is your thing? What?
But the whole of the second I was gonna say
what's your thing? For him? Even though you kind of
(51:58):
won that whole, I didn't win any Hang, you didn't
win anything, but you kind of you know, I did
go offensive. Oh my god, here come the comments. Jenna
is so mean to like, No, we just play around
a lot. But I just I think a lot of women. No,
I think a lot of women. That's just again, there
are timelines are different than a man's timeline, and for
(52:18):
us it's just easier to do it ourselves. Okay, then
don't complain if you do it. I didn't complain one.
I'm saying in general, I gotta do everything well because
we kind of doll yourself. What bothers you about Mikero
was that it? Um? I mean, that's one of the things.
But um, I will say, you leave and the mind's
(52:39):
a lot smaller. You went, real big issue. But I
don't like the fact that you leave Jason's dirty diapers
either in the like you left his wet, very wet,
dirty diaper this morning in his crib put in trash. Okay,
I forgot that one. No, but then you always left
him in the pack and play so annoying. Okay, because
you've never left, I've clearly got off. Never you never
(53:04):
leave diapers in there usually. Actually, I don't you know
what else bothers me? Oh my god, this is not
how the game we're trying to show our listeners, how
we have better conversation. Were so after but usually by
the way, how it happens is I'll say like, hey,
he's like, I don't like it when you put the
steak knives in the dishwasher, and I'd be like, oh,
(53:25):
I'm sorry, I'll make sure to handwash them. And then
I'll say I don't like how you leave your shoes
right there, and he just says, oh, I'm sorry, but
I'll make I'll do better with that. That's usually how
it goes. It doesn't go like this. We're showing a
very terrible example of us both being very offensive. He
got his ball rolling. We're going so after j SATs,
he should stay a little inclined. He shouldn't lay flat
(53:48):
on his back. So thirty minutes, thirty minutes, okay, after
I found him this morning, I had to take a
big old okay, so I needed to put him down, right,
You can put him down in his raw her that's inclined, okay,
all right, that bothers you. Well, stop burping him and
having his spit up go all over the couch. And
(54:10):
we're getting rid of that carpet, you see, we're getting
rid of that. You'd like act like you would bring
that into the new house if I got it nicely cleaned. Yes,
Oh whereould you put it in the living room? Oh
but wait, she wouldn't because our designers didn't say that
that rugs should go in the house. So if they
didn't say it should, then it didn't belong there. Oh boy,
this is a fun episode. This is strange. Can someone say, like,
(54:33):
poor Janna, how in what way? Okay, all right, if
you can ask me what bothers me about the two
of you? Yeah, oh my god, I would love to
hear that doing this, But I have nothing that bothers
me about you. Well, thank you very much. That's sweet,
that one little thing. Yeah, I would love it. We
(54:53):
do a podcast for an hour a week. If we
get through that hour without you guys eating, that would
be really pleas I was really hungry, trust me, I know,
I'm sorry I was. I was so hungry. I get
so hungry. Can you can you hear anything like you can? Yeah?
(55:14):
It's a pet peeve of mine personally. I don't know
if it's the listeners. Notice that they may not pick
up on it at all because we do something that
is um, what yogurt like soft? Yeah, so maybe they
wouldn't notice, but it's something that bothers me, appreciate, appreciate feedback,
all right, absolutely, and we will respect that you guys
are in here multiple hours today as we're in here
in your home for one hour once a week. Respect
(55:37):
the workplace. I think that's going to wrap it up, alright, guys.
That was a great show that was all over the place.
Host
Jana Kramer
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