May 9, 2024 • 22 mins
Love without ownership - can you love someone and let go of the outcome?
In this episode, we discuss the concept of love without ownership and recognizing the impact of our actions on others. When it comes to navigating relationships with people or animals, we talk about the importance of the abundance mentality and letting go.
What, truly, is compassionate love, and how can it impact our lives and relationships?
From saying "yes" or "no" to our children to recognizing the influence of others on our loved ones, we explore the beauty of letting go and allowing love to simply be.
Join us on this journey from chaos to clarity, and discover how love without ownership can transform your family dynamic.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
The compassionate heart philosophy. I was gonna say hash browns
and eggs. Well, that's not what we're talking about today, but we
could probably incorporate it somewhere. If you wanna know about the compassionate
heart philosophy though, it's time to tune in.
Mama said namaste. Mama says
nama stay. Making a family can be
(00:22):
easy and fun. Oh, yeah. But raising family can be a whole
different story. From spouses to kids to the crazy daily
grind, life often directs us away from connection and more into
reactive chaos. If you're tired of that cycle and are seeking
something beyond the picket fence blues, this is the show for you. I'm
Ashley. And I'm Nathan. And we're here to take you from chaos to clarity
(00:45):
by bringing awareness and intention into your home, not waiting for
one day, and highlighting how the uniqueness in each
of us strengthens all of us.
(01:08):
So back in
2019, I think. Oh, man. Has it been that long since we got
married? Man, we're going on 20 years, babe.
We've been married much longer than that. So, back in 2019,
when we were in our travels, we were RVing
all over the states and we landed in
(01:30):
California. And we were visiting with my brother,
and my nieces and nephew were with us, and we're having a
beautiful time, and there was a sweet little stray
cat that was, in the
campsite or in the campground. Oh, yeah. I remember this.
And And I had a sweet little girl that kept kept disappearing.
(01:53):
Right. And I mean, Clara being the little animal
whisperer that she is, I mean, within an hour, she had
this completely wild kitten,
coming up and, like, sniffing at her hand. And
then? And she ended up,
befriending this cat. And of course, at this point now we're in this
(02:15):
predicament. And at that point, we were completely shut off to cats.
We so could have gotten that cat. If it was a we. We. Yeah. Okay.
So Nathan was completely shut off to cats. Full ownership of that. There
we go. I didn't I've I've never been a cat person really or so I
thought. Never was. Yes. Speak past tense.
Never. As I see you out there first thing in the morning cuddling with foster
(02:38):
kittens. Yeah. Not only a real little, but you're right. But,
yeah, I mean, it was it was one of those, you know, as a parent,
when and I will say maybe particularly as a dad
because I don't know if there's a lot of moms like, no, no, no, no
cats. Maybe there are. There are. But, I guess
it feels like somebody has to be the heavy to say no, you You
(03:02):
know? Well, okay. So we won't talk about what we have now in our house.
But, during this time, though, we decided that it
was not a good idea for us to take on a stray kitten. And so
here we have a kitten, and we needed to find a home. Long story short,
as as far as that one's concerned, we found a home for George,
and he, he ended up going and living with a
(03:24):
friend of a friend that was in California in the same area
whose daughter, was, about the same age as our
girls and had just lost a kitten and or just lost a cat, like
an older cat. And so it was perfect timing. So we were
so thrilled to find a home for George and let him live his best
life. Now the reason I share the story, though, is
(03:46):
because that was that heart wrenching time
of having to say no to an animal with our kids.
And that prompted Or having to say no
to your kids about something that they would love and enjoy. It
may not be an animal for everybody. You know? Oh, yeah. You're right. You're right.
So, but but what it did for us is, yeah, it opened the
(04:08):
door beyond just navigating, saying yes
or no to an animal or to a thing for our children,
and really going beyond to where else can we use this
principle. And so what we mean
when we say the compassionate heart philosophy, which is what we came
up with after George, And that was George, the
(04:31):
cat, and that is that it means love without
ownership. It's recognizing that we can
invest in things. We can invest in people. I guess this
is why I'm I'm kind of discounting what you're saying about the things. It
really, when we're talking people and animals and this
desire to show love
(04:52):
or to save or to fix some
being. Yeah. I guess so. There's
we believe at this point, and it's been a hard practice
we've had to work on as individuals and as a family
for us to navigate what this is. And so, I mean, I'll speak for me
and not just all we hear. But to me, compassionate
(05:15):
heart philosophy is love without ownership. It is being willing
to love another being without a say on the
outcome. Mhmm. And that is hard.
That is hard because you're trusting a lot of different
players, a lot of different pieces that you don't have control over.
Yeah. But that's kind of the beautiful thing about it
(05:37):
is you, you know, the it's kinda that that idea
of you you feel like you have to hold on
to so much to keep it, but you actually get more if you let
go. Yeah. And it's
a hard thing to try to express, I think, because it
is like when you're holding on to stuff, you don't your your
(05:58):
rationale for clinging is is solid. Like Mhmm. If I let go of it, it
may not come back. Like me thinking of sweet George and how
what an amazing cat he would have been. I mean, we got these 2 little
jerks and that one dude was amazing. If I if I had known
if I I could have already had a George, like, oh, nope. We already have
one cat. But, you know, when you talk about clinging to, like, clinging
(06:20):
to what you love, though, so today as we're airing
this, it's May 9th. And on May 7th, it was dad
my dad's birthday. So first birthday without my father here,
on this physical realm here. And,
and so as a tribute to him and
his desires to, be known
(06:44):
for an understanding heart. We're reading his book and
understanding heart every day in our 48 days community.
And as I was writing yesterday, I just decided since I read the
book before, actually, I have read it with, the whole family. We've all read it
through together last year. So this year, I just said
I'll just open it up randomly and just open up to any kind of random
(07:05):
one. That's my favorite way to read a book. Right. Especially, one like this where
it's really as you can do a chapter a day and they're all kinda disconnected.
So, you can do it whenever. So, so I was
reading and it was all about
generosity in in amidst abundance. And
it was about being willing to recognize how
(07:27):
to give beyond what you have and to have that that
feeling of abundance. And it kinda dawned on me. I've
really, you know, some of the things that we say a lot in our
family, every action has a consequence and you reap what you sow.
And right now, we are definitely in big plant phase in our
family. We're all about the plants and,
(07:49):
oh my goodness. We went to a flower field this past weekend and it was
so magical. I picked it for Mother's Day and it was exactly what I
wanted. It was fantastic. And I dragged both of our moms along and it
was sweaty and probably not the best conditions for both of them. But Oh, for
a surprise. Well, they didn't know what they were getting into. Yeah. That was my
bad. Don't always surprise the moms. They need to be prepared.
(08:10):
Anyway, all of that side tangent to get back to reaping and
sowing. So coming with plants, I thought about that and I
thought about how every true farm farmer knows
that, yes, you reap what you
sow and you sow way more
than you're ultimately reaping. You give beyond yourself
(08:32):
because, you recognize that along
with what you're gonna harvest, you're gonna lose some to the weather.
You're gonna lose some to the the animals
that are out there. You're gonna lose some to maybe the
wandering, you know, traveler that goes by. There are all
of these other people that are still able to
(08:54):
benefit from some element of your impact that's gonna be a part of
that. And so, I I really
believe that that part of having an I a an
approach of abundance in life is recognizing that if
I want a rich harvest, I'm gonna sow even more than that so that it
goes beyond just me. I mean, native American,
(09:16):
you know, philosophy is very much of leaving
some of anything. They don't they do not reap and pillage No. Of out
a whole patch of something. Right. It's every other or every fourth.
Right. And I in dad's book, he quoted Deuteronomy
where where in the bible in Deuteronomy, it's laid out
exactly like that, like the native American. Leave some for the
(09:38):
weary and the traveler and the and the poor and the destitute. And it has,
like, all of this stuff on on don't don't take
everything. Leave some for others. It kinda changes the whole
perspective from look at what I found to look what we
found. Right. And, you know, thinking about others in that in that
process. But how often it is, our gut gut reaction
(10:01):
is, and and probably our more childish responses to, oh, look at what we found.
Let's you know, take it all. Put it in a basket. We'll take it with
us. Mhmm. And, you know, not leaving enough for others is, you know, I
I think about just in a relationship and how important it is to,
you know, instead of thinking about all the things that you're not getting and missing
out on, you know, how you can improve the lives of others around you is
(10:22):
a great way to kind of start that flow of changing the
whole energy and perspective of of a household because, you
know, what was I always forget the name of this program that we went
through, but it was not Advanced Energy and Medicine. Oh, Quantum Love Quantum Love.
With doctor Laura Bergman. Yeah. And and she was, you know, great about just talking
about the value of you know, sometimes your spouse or
(10:44):
the people in your house aren't on the same page. We'll use
cleanliness as an example. Right? We We were talking about that earlier
today. Yeah. And so you just start instead of just
grumbling and being mad that everybody is not cleaning
up. You just, you know, start doing the things that need
to be done or sending that energetic, hey, you know, we need to clean up
(11:06):
and, you know, it's it's interesting how that can, you know, kinda shift the
energy of a of a family. Yeah. So
we we want to on the side of the good and of the
abundance. And in that, when it comes to
navigating other be other beings,
you know, animals and people. There are
(11:28):
times where we can have a major desire to
come in and to be the hero and to rescue. Maybe not even with the
hero mentality. I mean, maybe for for very beautiful
reasons, there is a desire to,
to swoop in and to save. And, and
we've talked before. There's a song that, was from a friend
(11:50):
of ours in Nashville, Kevin Welch, that said that
says you can't save everybody. Everybody don't wanna be saved.
Mhmm. And, we have to recognize
that as much as we may have the desire to save
someone, that may not be the journey that they need. As much
as we have a desire to save an animal, that may not be in the
(12:12):
best interest of that animal. For the quality of life, we may be
able to provide it or for the fact that it's a wild being that needs
to be out in nature or whatever the reason is. So
when we say love without ownership, it's not laying claim
to someone or something. But recognizing
that we can show some love and gratitude and respect for this thing, we
(12:36):
all can appreciate without having to stake a claim on it.
Yeah. Well, you know, the other thing that was making me think of or that
I was thinking about while you're talking was just the relationship with our
children and how, you know, we want to impart so much wisdom
that we have inside, but sometimes we realize that we might not be the teachers
for that lesson for our kid. Exactly. And so compassionate love
(12:58):
is allowing that child to have the freedom to go and meet other
people that can be their teacher. And it might not be the same way that
you would teach it, but, you know, the idea and the lesson is still
still out there. You know, like, for me, if I've had the same conversation 3
or 4 times with my kids, it's, like, you know what? They're not
it's not that they're not listening. I'm not listening to the fact that they're
(13:20):
not listening. Yeah. And so At that point, it's a
good opportunity, yeah, for us to recognize we may not be the one to tell
them this. Exactly. And and that is hard to let go of as a
parent because you feel like that is is really it can,
for some parents, be the perspective that this is on me. You You know,
I I have to raise this child. And it's very it's it's a very
(13:41):
good philosophy for you even as a parent to realize that you don't have to
do it all. There's a community of people that, you know, if you search
that out through, you know, love and compassion, then, you know, you can
find a like minded community. And if you don't, you're still going
to have those other influences in their life. They'll still come in. Yeah. They're still
going to influence and impact. Yeah. I mean,
(14:03):
when it comes to that reaping and sowing in an
abundance mentality, it's recognizing that you may not
be the only hero out there. You may not be the only word of
wisdom or example or inspiration for somebody
or something or some animal whatever.
And sometimes, our need to
(14:27):
manage a situation out of our love for somebody,
can end up sabotaging first off the
relationship and second off an opportunity for someone else to step
in and create a relationship. Right. You know? I I
struggle with that. Mhmm. As the girls are getting older, you know, I wanna be
the one to step in. The other day, we had a a great
(14:50):
opportunity for me to bite my tongue because our
middle applied for her first job. And,
and Ellie was I I mean, I I encouraged her to walk to the place
where she applied to see, do you just kinda start being a face
there? And, and
my first thought is I'm going with you. Of course. Mhmm. And then
(15:12):
I immediately started going into what's gonna happen next. I'm gonna talk the whole
time, and I'm not gonna give her any space to talk because I'm gonna be
so excited. And, she's gonna be nervous, and she's just gonna shut down
and let me do all the talking. I'm gonna do all the talking, and I'm
doing her a disservice. And as these, you know, split
seconds of thought are going through my head, Clara, her older
(15:34):
sister, pipes up and says, hey, how about I go with you and we'll go
and grab a coffee down there? And I'll I'll walk with you.
Oh, man. How beautiful. I didn't even suggest her walking over there first.
That was the deal. Clara was the one that that suggested the whole scenario
without me being involved. And it was a whole different
thing. I mean, they came back very confident and and smiley, and I
(15:56):
got a coffee out of the deal and didn't have to walk. And And it
gave them a chance to connect. Yeah. And it was a beautiful yeah. It was
a beautiful relationship solidifier for them that I had no part
of. And You could have steamrolled into and made
yourself a part of. Right. And so that speaks really highly of you as a
compassionate mother to recognize that even though you could and you
(16:17):
may, this isn't the only opportunity that you've been given.
You know, you'll have other opportunities to gloat about your daughter to lots
of different people, and so this is just a new avenue for her to
try that. Right. And going back to the love you. Going
back to the gorgeous flower fleet fields, which if you are going to the
blog that accompanies this, remember, every podcast episode we have has a
(16:41):
blog that goes along with it. Where I usually write it, like
this one and we're recording before I write the blog post. So that means I'm
gonna download the transcript, get inspired, and then kinda do my own
variation of writing about this. On that, I guarantee you
there's gonna be some epic pictures of flowers because of this
flower field that we went to. It was That's so cool. It was it
(17:02):
was incredible. And again, I I think about that and I think about
the, you know, trillions of seeds
that didn't make it all the way to what we saw. And then I
think about the abundance of what we actually saw. And then I
thought think about the fact that, you know, fields and fields of flowers,
there's no way I can, you know, I personally can take them
(17:25):
all. And so it's just that understanding of the
harvest. No. No. They're like
I wanna bask in the beauty of what is, what is there, and allow other
people to appreciate it both in its natural form and the ones that
people could take and and still yeah. I mean, there there's so much left over.
I think we came, actually, we came the week after
(17:48):
2 weeks of flower festivals there. And so,
apparently, we had the picked over version, And I was blown away by all of
it. Yeah. And I I absolutely loved it. And boy, there's so
much beautiful fruit we can put out there. And when I think of love, that's,
I mean, if you're gonna put a put a visual on it, make it a
flower. You know, love is a dahlia. You know, complex,
(18:10):
intricate, Well, it's like like what we tell our kids that, you know, if you're
in danger,
Well, it's like like what we tell our kids that, you know, if you're in
danger, go to a house that has lots of flowers. Yeah. Because
you know there's a pretty good chance they're decent people. Somebody's caring for
those flowers. Yeah. Yeah. But that's a that's a good good thing to think about
(18:33):
as you're, you know, as you're kind of inventorying,
you know, yourself and and, you know, the blooms
that you wanna make. Ashley and I were asking each other
questions, today. Yeah. We're we're kind of,
deep deep prodding questions. And and and one
(18:53):
of the things that, like, started to come out was how,
you know, what we think we're remembered
for and maybe sometimes our intentions aren't
always what's what's absorbed or
retained by the by other people. You know, there's sometimes aspects of ourselves
that are remembered that maybe we didn't intend
(19:15):
to or we didn't recognize that that was the part of the vibe that we
were giving off. And and so it's just a reminder You mean how you
remember yourself is different than how you actually Are
remembered by others. Right. Yes. Or seen or perceived as
others. And so, like, you know, you might think, well, I really I'm trying to
keep it together and and high and tight and and then, like, you're really loose
(19:36):
and I don't feel comfortable, you know, because there's too many too
many openings or whatever. And so, you know, you just don't know until you
start to to hear that about yourself, but it also speaks to, you know, we're
trying so hard to kinda control this world and
the way we're perceived and seen in it. And maybe you should, you know, just
be more genuine and see what, you know, how See where the fruit comes from.
(19:58):
Where the fruit comes from. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So compassionate heart philosophy. What can
you love without any ownership, without any, holding
on to the outcome or the agenda? Simply love and let
be. Let go. Let be,
and sit with that. There's so many ways that
(20:20):
this can be translated, but, the compassionate heart
philosophy has helped us as we have navigated
letting go of so many things.
And whether that is a sweet kitten that we're able to
rehome and find a better or I say rehome. To find a home for.
You know, whether it's that or whether it's recognizing that,
(20:44):
you know, a bittersweet friendship has has run its
course or a bittersweet we have a bittersweet end to a friendship
that has run its course in a relationship that needs to
stop. Some or maybe it's
letting go of that person that The expectation of what you hoped
Yeah. Would be and accepting of what is and how
(21:08):
that can be used in the best way possible. Or what
other people will speak into the lives of those you care about that
aren't quite here in from the same story you are.
So
practice compassion this week and every week. Be
love and remember, the uniqueness in each of us
(21:30):
strengthens all of us. Namaste.
The compassionate heart philosophy. I was gonna say hash browns
and eggs. Well, that's not what we're talking about today, but we
could probably incorporate it somewhere. If you wanna know about the compassionate
heart philosophy though, it's time to tune in.
Mama said namaste. Mama says
nama stay. Making a family can be
(00:22):
easy and fun. Oh, yeah. But raising family can be a whole
different story. From spouses to kids to the crazy daily
grind, life often directs us away from connection and more into
reactive chaos. If you're tired of that cycle and are seeking
something beyond the picket fence blues, this is the show for you. I'm
Ashley. And I'm Nathan. And we're here to take you from chaos to clarity
(00:45):
by bringing awareness and intention into your home, not waiting for
one day, and highlighting how the uniqueness in each
of us strengthens all of us.
(01:08):
So back in
2019, I think. Oh, man. Has it been that long since we got
married? Man, we're going on 20 years, babe.
We've been married much longer than that. So, back in 2019,
when we were in our travels, we were RVing
all over the states and we landed in
(01:30):
California. And we were visiting with my brother,
and my nieces and nephew were with us, and we're having a
beautiful time, and there was a sweet little stray
cat that was, in the
campsite or in the campground. Oh, yeah. I remember this.
And And I had a sweet little girl that kept kept disappearing.
(01:53):
Right. And I mean, Clara being the little animal
whisperer that she is, I mean, within an hour, she had
this completely wild kitten,
coming up and, like, sniffing at her hand. And
then? And she ended up,
befriending this cat. And of course, at this point now we're in this
(02:15):
predicament. And at that point, we were completely shut off to cats.
We so could have gotten that cat. If it was a we. We. Yeah. Okay.
So Nathan was completely shut off to cats. Full ownership of that. There
we go. I didn't I've I've never been a cat person really or so I
thought. Never was. Yes. Speak past tense.
Never. As I see you out there first thing in the morning cuddling with foster
(02:38):
kittens. Yeah. Not only a real little, but you're right. But,
yeah, I mean, it was it was one of those, you know, as a parent,
when and I will say maybe particularly as a dad
because I don't know if there's a lot of moms like, no, no, no, no
cats. Maybe there are. There are. But, I guess
it feels like somebody has to be the heavy to say no, you You
(03:02):
know? Well, okay. So we won't talk about what we have now in our house.
But, during this time, though, we decided that it
was not a good idea for us to take on a stray kitten. And so
here we have a kitten, and we needed to find a home. Long story short,
as as far as that one's concerned, we found a home for George,
and he, he ended up going and living with a
(03:24):
friend of a friend that was in California in the same area
whose daughter, was, about the same age as our
girls and had just lost a kitten and or just lost a cat, like
an older cat. And so it was perfect timing. So we were
so thrilled to find a home for George and let him live his best
life. Now the reason I share the story, though, is
(03:46):
because that was that heart wrenching time
of having to say no to an animal with our kids.
And that prompted Or having to say no
to your kids about something that they would love and enjoy. It
may not be an animal for everybody. You know? Oh, yeah. You're right. You're right.
So, but but what it did for us is, yeah, it opened the
(04:08):
door beyond just navigating, saying yes
or no to an animal or to a thing for our children,
and really going beyond to where else can we use this
principle. And so what we mean
when we say the compassionate heart philosophy, which is what we came
up with after George, And that was George, the
(04:31):
cat, and that is that it means love without
ownership. It's recognizing that we can
invest in things. We can invest in people. I guess this
is why I'm I'm kind of discounting what you're saying about the things. It
really, when we're talking people and animals and this
desire to show love
(04:52):
or to save or to fix some
being. Yeah. I guess so. There's
we believe at this point, and it's been a hard practice
we've had to work on as individuals and as a family
for us to navigate what this is. And so, I mean, I'll speak for me
and not just all we hear. But to me, compassionate
(05:15):
heart philosophy is love without ownership. It is being willing
to love another being without a say on the
outcome. Mhmm. And that is hard.
That is hard because you're trusting a lot of different
players, a lot of different pieces that you don't have control over.
Yeah. But that's kind of the beautiful thing about it
(05:37):
is you, you know, the it's kinda that that idea
of you you feel like you have to hold on
to so much to keep it, but you actually get more if you let
go. Yeah. And it's
a hard thing to try to express, I think, because it
is like when you're holding on to stuff, you don't your your
(05:58):
rationale for clinging is is solid. Like Mhmm. If I let go of it, it
may not come back. Like me thinking of sweet George and how
what an amazing cat he would have been. I mean, we got these 2 little
jerks and that one dude was amazing. If I if I had known
if I I could have already had a George, like, oh, nope. We already have
one cat. But, you know, when you talk about clinging to, like, clinging
(06:20):
to what you love, though, so today as we're airing
this, it's May 9th. And on May 7th, it was dad
my dad's birthday. So first birthday without my father here,
on this physical realm here. And,
and so as a tribute to him and
his desires to, be known
(06:44):
for an understanding heart. We're reading his book and
understanding heart every day in our 48 days community.
And as I was writing yesterday, I just decided since I read the
book before, actually, I have read it with, the whole family. We've all read it
through together last year. So this year, I just said
I'll just open it up randomly and just open up to any kind of random
(07:05):
one. That's my favorite way to read a book. Right. Especially, one like this where
it's really as you can do a chapter a day and they're all kinda disconnected.
So, you can do it whenever. So, so I was
reading and it was all about
generosity in in amidst abundance. And
it was about being willing to recognize how
(07:27):
to give beyond what you have and to have that that
feeling of abundance. And it kinda dawned on me. I've
really, you know, some of the things that we say a lot in our
family, every action has a consequence and you reap what you sow.
And right now, we are definitely in big plant phase in our
family. We're all about the plants and,
(07:49):
oh my goodness. We went to a flower field this past weekend and it was
so magical. I picked it for Mother's Day and it was exactly what I
wanted. It was fantastic. And I dragged both of our moms along and it
was sweaty and probably not the best conditions for both of them. But Oh, for
a surprise. Well, they didn't know what they were getting into. Yeah. That was my
bad. Don't always surprise the moms. They need to be prepared.
(08:10):
Anyway, all of that side tangent to get back to reaping and
sowing. So coming with plants, I thought about that and I
thought about how every true farm farmer knows
that, yes, you reap what you
sow and you sow way more
than you're ultimately reaping. You give beyond yourself
(08:32):
because, you recognize that along
with what you're gonna harvest, you're gonna lose some to the weather.
You're gonna lose some to the the animals
that are out there. You're gonna lose some to maybe the
wandering, you know, traveler that goes by. There are all
of these other people that are still able to
(08:54):
benefit from some element of your impact that's gonna be a part of
that. And so, I I really
believe that that part of having an I a an
approach of abundance in life is recognizing that if
I want a rich harvest, I'm gonna sow even more than that so that it
goes beyond just me. I mean, native American,
(09:16):
you know, philosophy is very much of leaving
some of anything. They don't they do not reap and pillage No. Of out
a whole patch of something. Right. It's every other or every fourth.
Right. And I in dad's book, he quoted Deuteronomy
where where in the bible in Deuteronomy, it's laid out
exactly like that, like the native American. Leave some for the
(09:38):
weary and the traveler and the and the poor and the destitute. And it has,
like, all of this stuff on on don't don't take
everything. Leave some for others. It kinda changes the whole
perspective from look at what I found to look what we
found. Right. And, you know, thinking about others in that in that
process. But how often it is, our gut gut reaction
(10:01):
is, and and probably our more childish responses to, oh, look at what we found.
Let's you know, take it all. Put it in a basket. We'll take it with
us. Mhmm. And, you know, not leaving enough for others is, you know, I
I think about just in a relationship and how important it is to,
you know, instead of thinking about all the things that you're not getting and missing
out on, you know, how you can improve the lives of others around you is
(10:22):
a great way to kind of start that flow of changing the
whole energy and perspective of of a household because, you
know, what was I always forget the name of this program that we went
through, but it was not Advanced Energy and Medicine. Oh, Quantum Love Quantum Love.
With doctor Laura Bergman. Yeah. And and she was, you know, great about just talking
about the value of you know, sometimes your spouse or
(10:44):
the people in your house aren't on the same page. We'll use
cleanliness as an example. Right? We We were talking about that earlier
today. Yeah. And so you just start instead of just
grumbling and being mad that everybody is not cleaning
up. You just, you know, start doing the things that need
to be done or sending that energetic, hey, you know, we need to clean up
(11:06):
and, you know, it's it's interesting how that can, you know, kinda shift the
energy of a of a family. Yeah. So
we we want to on the side of the good and of the
abundance. And in that, when it comes to
navigating other be other beings,
you know, animals and people. There are
(11:28):
times where we can have a major desire to
come in and to be the hero and to rescue. Maybe not even with the
hero mentality. I mean, maybe for for very beautiful
reasons, there is a desire to,
to swoop in and to save. And, and
we've talked before. There's a song that, was from a friend
(11:50):
of ours in Nashville, Kevin Welch, that said that
says you can't save everybody. Everybody don't wanna be saved.
Mhmm. And, we have to recognize
that as much as we may have the desire to save
someone, that may not be the journey that they need. As much
as we have a desire to save an animal, that may not be in the
(12:12):
best interest of that animal. For the quality of life, we may be
able to provide it or for the fact that it's a wild being that needs
to be out in nature or whatever the reason is. So
when we say love without ownership, it's not laying claim
to someone or something. But recognizing
that we can show some love and gratitude and respect for this thing, we
(12:36):
all can appreciate without having to stake a claim on it.
Yeah. Well, you know, the other thing that was making me think of or that
I was thinking about while you're talking was just the relationship with our
children and how, you know, we want to impart so much wisdom
that we have inside, but sometimes we realize that we might not be the teachers
for that lesson for our kid. Exactly. And so compassionate love
(12:58):
is allowing that child to have the freedom to go and meet other
people that can be their teacher. And it might not be the same way that
you would teach it, but, you know, the idea and the lesson is still
still out there. You know, like, for me, if I've had the same conversation 3
or 4 times with my kids, it's, like, you know what? They're not
it's not that they're not listening. I'm not listening to the fact that they're
(13:20):
not listening. Yeah. And so At that point, it's a
good opportunity, yeah, for us to recognize we may not be the one to tell
them this. Exactly. And and that is hard to let go of as a
parent because you feel like that is is really it can,
for some parents, be the perspective that this is on me. You You know,
I I have to raise this child. And it's very it's it's a very
(13:41):
good philosophy for you even as a parent to realize that you don't have to
do it all. There's a community of people that, you know, if you search
that out through, you know, love and compassion, then, you know, you can
find a like minded community. And if you don't, you're still going
to have those other influences in their life. They'll still come in. Yeah. They're still
going to influence and impact. Yeah. I mean,
(14:03):
when it comes to that reaping and sowing in an
abundance mentality, it's recognizing that you may not
be the only hero out there. You may not be the only word of
wisdom or example or inspiration for somebody
or something or some animal whatever.
And sometimes, our need to
(14:27):
manage a situation out of our love for somebody,
can end up sabotaging first off the
relationship and second off an opportunity for someone else to step
in and create a relationship. Right. You know? I I
struggle with that. Mhmm. As the girls are getting older, you know, I wanna be
the one to step in. The other day, we had a a great
(14:50):
opportunity for me to bite my tongue because our
middle applied for her first job. And,
and Ellie was I I mean, I I encouraged her to walk to the place
where she applied to see, do you just kinda start being a face
there? And, and
my first thought is I'm going with you. Of course. Mhmm. And then
(15:12):
I immediately started going into what's gonna happen next. I'm gonna talk the whole
time, and I'm not gonna give her any space to talk because I'm gonna be
so excited. And, she's gonna be nervous, and she's just gonna shut down
and let me do all the talking. I'm gonna do all the talking, and I'm
doing her a disservice. And as these, you know, split
seconds of thought are going through my head, Clara, her older
(15:34):
sister, pipes up and says, hey, how about I go with you and we'll go
and grab a coffee down there? And I'll I'll walk with you.
Oh, man. How beautiful. I didn't even suggest her walking over there first.
That was the deal. Clara was the one that that suggested the whole scenario
without me being involved. And it was a whole different
thing. I mean, they came back very confident and and smiley, and I
(15:56):
got a coffee out of the deal and didn't have to walk. And And it
gave them a chance to connect. Yeah. And it was a beautiful yeah. It was
a beautiful relationship solidifier for them that I had no part
of. And You could have steamrolled into and made
yourself a part of. Right. And so that speaks really highly of you as a
compassionate mother to recognize that even though you could and you
(16:17):
may, this isn't the only opportunity that you've been given.
You know, you'll have other opportunities to gloat about your daughter to lots
of different people, and so this is just a new avenue for her to
try that. Right. And going back to the love you. Going
back to the gorgeous flower fleet fields, which if you are going to the
blog that accompanies this, remember, every podcast episode we have has a
(16:41):
blog that goes along with it. Where I usually write it, like
this one and we're recording before I write the blog post. So that means I'm
gonna download the transcript, get inspired, and then kinda do my own
variation of writing about this. On that, I guarantee you
there's gonna be some epic pictures of flowers because of this
flower field that we went to. It was That's so cool. It was it
(17:02):
was incredible. And again, I I think about that and I think about
the, you know, trillions of seeds
that didn't make it all the way to what we saw. And then I
think about the abundance of what we actually saw. And then I
thought think about the fact that, you know, fields and fields of flowers,
there's no way I can, you know, I personally can take them
(17:25):
all. And so it's just that understanding of the
harvest. No. No. They're like
I wanna bask in the beauty of what is, what is there, and allow other
people to appreciate it both in its natural form and the ones that
people could take and and still yeah. I mean, there there's so much left over.
I think we came, actually, we came the week after
(17:48):
2 weeks of flower festivals there. And so,
apparently, we had the picked over version, And I was blown away by all of
it. Yeah. And I I absolutely loved it. And boy, there's so
much beautiful fruit we can put out there. And when I think of love, that's,
I mean, if you're gonna put a put a visual on it, make it a
flower. You know, love is a dahlia. You know, complex,
(18:10):
intricate, Well, it's like like what we tell our kids that, you know, if you're
in danger,
Well, it's like like what we tell our kids that, you know, if you're in
danger, go to a house that has lots of flowers. Yeah. Because
you know there's a pretty good chance they're decent people. Somebody's caring for
those flowers. Yeah. Yeah. But that's a that's a good good thing to think about
(18:33):
as you're, you know, as you're kind of inventorying,
you know, yourself and and, you know, the blooms
that you wanna make. Ashley and I were asking each other
questions, today. Yeah. We're we're kind of,
deep deep prodding questions. And and and one
(18:53):
of the things that, like, started to come out was how,
you know, what we think we're remembered
for and maybe sometimes our intentions aren't
always what's what's absorbed or
retained by the by other people. You know, there's sometimes aspects of ourselves
that are remembered that maybe we didn't intend
(19:15):
to or we didn't recognize that that was the part of the vibe that we
were giving off. And and so it's just a reminder You mean how you
remember yourself is different than how you actually Are
remembered by others. Right. Yes. Or seen or perceived as
others. And so, like, you know, you might think, well, I really I'm trying to
keep it together and and high and tight and and then, like, you're really loose
(19:36):
and I don't feel comfortable, you know, because there's too many too
many openings or whatever. And so, you know, you just don't know until you
start to to hear that about yourself, but it also speaks to, you know, we're
trying so hard to kinda control this world and
the way we're perceived and seen in it. And maybe you should, you know, just
be more genuine and see what, you know, how See where the fruit comes from.
(19:58):
Where the fruit comes from. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So compassionate heart philosophy. What can
you love without any ownership, without any, holding
on to the outcome or the agenda? Simply love and let
be. Let go. Let be,
and sit with that. There's so many ways that
(20:20):
this can be translated, but, the compassionate heart
philosophy has helped us as we have navigated
letting go of so many things.
And whether that is a sweet kitten that we're able to
rehome and find a better or I say rehome. To find a home for.
You know, whether it's that or whether it's recognizing that,
(20:44):
you know, a bittersweet friendship has has run its
course or a bittersweet we have a bittersweet end to a friendship
that has run its course in a relationship that needs to
stop. Some or maybe it's
letting go of that person that The expectation of what you hoped
Yeah. Would be and accepting of what is and how
(21:08):
that can be used in the best way possible. Or what
other people will speak into the lives of those you care about that
aren't quite here in from the same story you are.
So
practice compassion this week and every week. Be
love and remember, the uniqueness in each of us
(21:30):
strengthens all of us. Namaste.
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