GITRMM: Surprising Ways to Tell if a Woman is Overly Controlling

What You'll Hear In This Episode:

- How control can affect a man’s sense of personal freedom and push him away

- The dynamic where women try to control the narrative

- The devastating effects of holding mistakes over a man

- Emphasizing the value of space and growth in partnerships

- Benjamin’s account of a past relationship and the importance of aligning on key life choices

- Lisa’s insights on honesty, awareness, and the toxicity of control

- The significance of forgiveness and overcoming control to avoid resentment

- How facing challenges, including affairs, can enhance emotional intimacy

- Exploring the idea of moving past a binary view of right and wrong in relationships

- Rumi's philosophy on transcending conflict for relationship enhancement

- Explaining the concept of baiting and switching in relationships

- Avoiding the urge to pressure partners into life-changing decisions

- The effect of dominance on the respect and balance in a relationship

- Considerations of how past experiences inform current relationship behavior

- Strategies for fostering communication and support to combat controlling dynamics

- Identifying harmful behaviors, such as nagging and passive-aggressiveness

- Understanding the outcomes of disrespecting a partner’s capabilities or desires

 

Key quotes:

“We all carry these behaviors into relationships because we have a history of being wounded, damaged, hurt, manipulated, lied to." — Lisa Shield 

"And I would just see some men get smaller and smaller and smaller, they become children again, and the wife becomes the mother." — Benjamin Shield

“Growing up as a child, it was humiliating for me to see my father belittled." — Benjamin Shield

"I think it's because we love each other so much and we're able to have fun and play and trust each other and have a lot of space." — Lisa Shield 

"Let's say that a man makes a mistake. Let's say that he gets drunk one night, he's on a business trip, he sleeps with a woman one time, and he goes and tells his wife because he wants to be clear. She could hold that over him for decades. Decades. And so there's this hierarchy where he's feeling controlled by his mistake." — Benjamin Shield 

"One of the most controlling behaviors is when anyone makes a mistake in a relationship, and his partner cannot move into a place of forgiveness...holding it over your partner is one of the worst forms of control." — Lisa Shield

“[The silent treatment] is so controlling because you can't talk about it. And so you just sit, and you don't even know sometimes what it's about…And it's just like suddenly someone just is silent and turns away, and horrible – horrible! There's no resolving it, and the person is in complete control when the relationship starts going out." — Benjamin Shield

"If you're a woman, you may be in a relationship with a man who's controlling, who's doing some of the same things. control in relationships doesn't work. There is a better way." — Lisa Shield

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