PolySoCal

In this episode of the PolySoCal Podcast, Alonzo Banx is joined by Noah, Heather, Cupcake, Patty, Captain Lynn, and Jon for a deeply human conversation about chronic illness, aging, energy changes, caregiving, and what happens when bodies stop cooperating. The discussion moves through acute injury, long-term illness, fibromyalgia, menopause, mental health, caregiver burnout, guilt, and the hard question of whether love is always en...

Can someone be polyamorous for years and then return to monogamy? In this episode, the PolySoCal panel explores what happens when relationship styles change over time. Some guests believe that once you've experienced loving multiple people, that understanding never truly leaves you. Others share their journey from polyamory back to monogamy and why that choice ultimately felt right for them. Through personal stories, the discussion...

Is polyamory a path toward deeper connection, or can it become a clever way to avoid it altogether? This week the table welcomes Michael for his first appearance alongside regulars Dahlia and Noah, and the conversation goes straight at one of the most honest questions the show has asked. Michael shares his journey from a Catholic upbringing steeped in shame to discovering, almost by accident, that he wasn't broken — he just w...

What does it actually look like when three people build a real life together? Not the theory, not the fantasy, the dishwasher, the finances, the king size bed, the moment someone asks if you want to wear a ring. Alonzo sits down with Kat, Joshua, and Natalie of The Kink Collective to talk about how a triad that has been living, working, and traveling together actually makes it work day to day. Joshua opens up about two decades of r...

In this episode of PolySoCal, the panel explores one of the hardest realities in ethical non monogamy: endings. When relationships become deeply interconnected, breakups can affect far more than just two people. The conversation examines how polyamorous relationships end, how emotional fallout spreads through a polycule, and how communication, maturity, and self awareness can help people navigate painful transitions. Through person...

Everyone talks about commitment in relationships, but what does it actually mean when you have more than one? Is it implied or does it have to be stated out loud? Can you even cheat in a poly relationship? This episode the PolySoCal roundtable takes on one of the most misunderstood assumptions about ethical non-monogamy — that having multiple partners means having no structure at all. Noah breaks down commitment as negotiatio...

In this deeply personal episode of PolySoCal, Noah and Cookie share the story of how they transitioned from long term monogamous marriages into a polyamorous BDSM relationship. The conversation explores repression, incompatibility, fear, guilt, cheating, divorce, and the difficult process of rebuilding a life around authenticity rather than obligation. Through honest reflection, the group discusses the emotional and practical reali...

 Most poly families are one crisis away from a legal nightmare — and they don't know it. In this episode, Alonzo sits down with attorney Toby Adams, who has spent 14 years specializing in family law and estate planning exclusively for poly, queer, kink, and neurodiverse communities. Toby breaks down what rights actually exist for poly parents in California and beyond, how to get all three parents on a birth certificate, ...

In this episode, PolySoCal brings in an East Coast triad to explore the intersection of polyamory and kink. The conversation dives into whether poly is inherently kinky, how BDSM frameworks influence communication and structure, and where emotional relationships differ from play or connection. Through real experiences, the group breaks down the overlap, the misconceptions, and the realities of building relationships rooted in hones...

In this roundtable episode of PolySoCal, the group takes an honest look at the harder side of polyamory. While the community often celebrates the freedom and connection that poly relationships can bring, the panel digs into the realities that come with it. Jealousy, insecurity, heartbreak, communication struggles, and the emotional work required to maintain multiple relationships are all part of the conversation. Through personal s...

In this episode of PolySoCal, the panel explores a deceptively simple question: can people move in and out of poly relationships and communities, or does belonging create deeper responsibilities? The conversation looks at how connection, identity, and commitment intersect in non monogamous spaces. Panelists share personal experiences about stepping away from relationships, returning to community, and navigating the tension between ...

In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes back Dr. Joli Hamilton for a deeper conversation about love languages, attachment needs, and how people experience connection in relationships. The discussion explores the limitations of rigid love language categories and how emotional needs shift based on context, life experience, and personal growth. Through personal stories and expert insight, the panel examines how curiosity, communication, a...

In this episode, the PolySoCal panel takes a focused look at three emotions central to polyamorous relationships: compersion, envy, and jealousy. The conversation explores how these feelings differ, how they often overlap, and how timing, communication, and emotional awareness shape the way they impact relationships.

Through personal experiences, the group examines how jealousy can signal unmet needs, how envy can arise from exclusi...

 In this deep dive episode, Max shares his personal journey through submission, identity, and self discovery. He speaks openly about his experience with hypnosis, kink, and emotional connection, explaining how submission is not about weakness, but about trust, consent, and mutual respect. The conversation explores demisexuality, the importance of emotional rapport, and how personal growth often comes from confronting uncertain...

In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes Kevin Anthony (Certified Sexologist, Tantra Counselor, NLP Practitioner, and host of The Love Lab Podcast) for an open, practical conversation about intimacy, communication, and emotional connection.

Kevin breaks down common challenges like performance anxiety, delayed orgasm, finishing too quickly, and how porn conditioning impacts real relationships. The panel shares personal experiences while K...

In this deep dive episode, PolySoCal welcomes back Dr. Deborah Lukovich for a wide-ranging conversation about dreams, desire, projection, and the unconscious forces shaping our relationships.

Dr. Lukovich explores how dream imagery, sexual symbolism, and recurring emotional patterns act as data points from the psyche rather than literal messages. Through personal stories and live analysis, the discussion reframes attraction, fear, f...

In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes Brianna Bass, therapist and board certified clinical sexologist, for a deep, practical conversation about burnout, intimacy, nervous system regulation, and how relationship patterns show up under stress. Brianna shares insight from her neuroscience based approach, helping the panel unpack pursuer withdraw dynamics, emotional fatigue, boundaries, and how partners can become either energy drains or...

In this episode, PolySoCal returns for a deeper, more personal conversation with Dr. Joli Hamilton, exploring individuation, depth psychology, meaning making, and how these concepts intersect with polyamory and modern relationships.

Dr. Joli unpacks what individuation really means, how unconscious material shapes our choices, and why polyamory can function as an individuation path rather than simply a relationship structure. The dis...

In this episode, PolySoCal welcomes Dr. Joli Hamilton, a depth psychologist, relationship coach, and AASECT - certified sex educator whose doctoral research focuses on jealousy and consensual non monogamy. The panel explores what jealousy actually is, how it shows up in the body, and why the healthiest long-term approach is not suppression or immediate reframing, but naming it, understanding its “flavor,” and building t...