When we are hard on ourselves we inhibit our ability to communicate. If we are the ones who are being hard on ourselves than when someone even looks at us the "wrong" way or we get an email that makes us feel silly or that we did understand what we are doing, we REACT. We have knee jerk responses and defensively go on the attack. (and guess what we generally get back?.... more of the same kind of energy, more icky responses). When we have our own back, when we fully get who we are (and who we are NOT) we have more cushion inside of us and our responses have an ease, a playfulness, and a humble energy to them.
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