January 17, 2024 • 19 mins
How much do you trust yourself? Do you have your own back when things get tough? In today's episode, your host Rae will be sharing with you five ways you can strengthen the relationship you have with yourself.
Tune in to discover:
- Five ways to be your own bestie
- Why the relationship with yourself is the most important one
- What being in integrity means and why it's so pivotal for self-trust
- The benefits of inner child healing and how emotional intelligence will set you apart from other people
- Four opportunities to deepen that relationship with yourself and work with Rae in the upcoming months
Resources:
Upcoming Workshops & Events:
- Vision Boards at Reiki Shores
- Monthly Breathwork Healing Circle for Anxiety Release at Yoga Shack
- DM for Individual Breathwork Sessions Link at Reiki Shores
- *Virtual* Breathwork for Anxiety Release at Modern Wellness
DM on Instagram
Subscribe & Review on Apple Podcasts
Follow & Rate on Spotify
Download Breathe Easy: How To Create Your Own Breathwork Practice
Get started with 1:1 coaching here.
Participate in Curious Convos. Share your questions and topic requests!
Disclaimer: Please remember that the information shared on this podcast is intended to inspire, educate, and support you on your personal journey. It does not substitute for professional mental health advice. I am not a psychologist or medical professional. If you are experiencing any emotional distress, mental health challenges, or medical conditions, please seek help from a qualified professional.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the Radiant Life podcast.
I'm your host, ray the SomaticCoach, and I'm here to support
you in healing your past, livingin the present and creating
your future so that you canbecome the most centered,
embodied and happiest version ofyourself.
Each week, I'll be bringing youepisodes to help you navigate
life's challenges, ease stressand tension and learn more about
(00:24):
holistic healing, spiritualityand wellness.
If you're interested inbecoming the best version of
yourself so that you can livethe life of your dreams, then
you're in the right place.
Subscribe to the podcast in themonthly newsletter and follow
me on Instagram and TikTok toknow when new episodes are
released each week.
I am so happy that you'velanded here.
(00:45):
Let's dive in.
Hello, my friends, welcome backto the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Ray.
I'm a Somatic Coach andBreathwork facilitator.
And if you aren't new here,welcome back.
I'm so excited you're here andI can't wait to dive into
today's episode with you.
(01:05):
So, for today, we're going to betalking about the relationship
that you have with yourself, andthe reason why I chose this
topic was for two reasons.
I found that it was coming up alot with my individual clients
Just this concept of actuallyfeeling self-compassionate
towards yourself, especiallywhen you're doing inner child
(01:30):
work or somatic coaching orsomething like that.
If you're in a somaticexperience, it's really
important to have that capacityand that tool to be
self-compassionate towardsyourself.
So it definitely was coming upwith my private clients and then
also for myself.
I find, ironically enough, theepisode that I just recorded was
(01:51):
about anger and I find formyself sometimes, when anger
comes up for me, it's reallyhard for me to understand or
communicate if there was aboundary that was crossed or
something like that.
It's just an uncomfortableemotion.
And so all of these parts thatI'm going to share five
different aspects of being yourown best friend and
(02:13):
strengthening the relationshipthat you have with yourself all
of these steps that I'm going tomention have been really
helpful for my clients as wellas myself.
So, yeah, I hope you find valuein it and let's dive in.
So the first aspect ofstrengthening the relationship
that you have with yourself isnaming it and making it a
(02:35):
relationship that you're willingto improve, Just like any other
relationship that you have outthere, whether it's with a
friend or a parent or a siblingor a co-worker.
If there's no interest ornaming of improving that
relationship.
If it's something that youdesire, then it's probably not
(02:56):
really going to change.
So if you're looking to be moreself-compassionate with
yourself and want to improvethat relationship, name it.
The relationship that you havewith yourself is the most
important one and I think reallyat the core of a lot of the
work that I do is about thisrelationship.
It's knowing that, whateverhappens, you're not going to
(03:19):
turn on yourself and you'll,that you'll always have your own
back and this concept of alwayshaving your own back.
I don't know if we really spendthe time to think about it or
talk about it or name it, and Itook an online course for
embodying confidence and thisconcept was one of the modules
(03:41):
and it just landed so hard forme.
It was like if we, we arealready going up against so much
externally right, like pressurefrom society or an
uncomfortable relationship witha co-worker or Hearing negative
feedback from your friends oryou know I mean it could be
anything but we're already goingup against so much Externally
(04:05):
that internally, we might aswell be on our own team.
We already have so muchexternally that we're Navigating
.
We might as well be our ownbest teammate.
So, to summarize, the first wayto strengthen the relationship
that you have with yourself isto make it a relationship that
you're willing to improve.
Alright, and number two, it'sreally important that we keep
(04:27):
the agreements that we make toourself.
So I took a course when I was.
I guess it was like kind oflike a weekend long Retreat, I'm
not, I'm not really sure whatit would be called, but it was
three or four days, and this waslike when I was like 21 or 22
and One of my.
I had a lot of takeaways fromthe weekend in itself, but one
(04:49):
of the main takeaways that I hadwas the concept of integrity,
and integrity, to summarize, isdoing what you'll say you'll do
and Staying true to your word.
And so if we make agreementswith ourself and then we don't
show up for those agreements, itmakes sense that maybe we
wouldn't trust ourselves as muchor maybe we would turn on
(05:11):
ourself.
So it's really important that,whatever agreements we're making
to ourself, whether it's I'mgonna, you know, work out three
times a day I mean three times aweek, not three times a day I'm
gonna work out three times aweek or I'm gonna eat healthier
you know, we have all of thesegoals that maybe we've set.
You know, now that it's Januaryand the new year just passed,
(05:33):
like maybe, maybe you arethinking about what you want to
change this year.
It's like that's great andthat's awesome.
And how can you make agreementsto yourself that will set
yourself up for success, thatwill let yourself snowball into
More success and more confidenceand more self-trust, so
(05:56):
whatever that looks like for you, just being an integrity with
your own word and what you'vereally promised to yourself.
And I can share a personalexample Last week I had a cold.
It wasn't anything crazy, it wasjust like a regular like had
cold, like obviously it wasn'tfun, but I wasn't like you know,
um, I, it was just a regularhead cold.
(06:18):
So Saturday morning I wassupposed to go for a run.
One of the women that I'veconnected with in Long Beach
this woman, sarah she's arunning coach and she really
incorporates mindfulness,movement, running, walking.
So it's not necessarily aboutthe result, it's about how you
(06:38):
feel, it's about your mindsetand it's really totally aligned
with the kind of work that I do.
So we connected and she wantedto create an in-person
all-inclusive like running,walking, jogging, running club,
and so when we connected, sheinvited me to collaborate with
her on this idea and I was likeabsolutely, this is awesome.
(07:01):
I have run in the past.
I haven't been running lately,but maybe this will be kind of
the inspiration or motivationthat I need to pick running back
up.
So anyway, saturday morning wehad our first in-person meetup,
and when I woke up, I had a coldthe previous week and so I just
really didn't feel well.
I was just congested and I wasjust like I don't know, should I
(07:25):
just not go?
It was really foggy out.
It wasn't necessarily cold, itwas like 50 degrees, but it was
really windy and it was likethat eerie fog and I was like
you know what?
I'm going to go.
Because I told myself that thisis what I was doing.
I set my alarm, I got up andmaybe some fresh air will help.
(07:48):
I'll bring a few tissues.
I'm not like I already had acold for like a week, so it's
like the end of it.
It's not like I'm likecontagious or something like
that, like I'm going to go.
I said I was going to go, I'mgoing to go, and 1 million
percent worked for me in the end, because I was so happy that I
went.
I met so many cool people.
I was blown away with thepeople that were, that did show
(08:11):
up and that were just like supercool.
And we had a running group, wehad a walking group.
Anybody can come, like babies,strollers, dogs, like you name
it bring them.
And it was just so fun.
And that's all because I hadthis previous lesson that I
learned around integrity and Iwas just like you know what.
Go back to the core.
(08:32):
I said what I was going to do.
I'm not, like you know, deathlyill.
It's not like I just got sickor something like I know I can
handle this.
I'm going to stay true to myword.
Just an example and I'm surethat you can think of a few that
you've had recently and justknowing that keeping the
agreements that you make toyourself will absolutely
strengthen that relationshipthat you have with yourself.
(08:54):
And then we have our third wayof strengthening that
relationship and I've mentionedthis a little bit so far already
in the beginning but reallybeing your own best friend.
If something comes up for you,if something is challenging, how
would you talk to your absolutebest friend about that thing?
This could be something big,this could be something small.
(09:16):
It could be a micro moment inthe middle of your day.
How would you talk to your bestfriend about that thing?
I imagine it would be supercompassionate, it would be
really understanding.
Maybe you would empathize withthem.
Maybe you would say I get that.
That really makes sense.
That would probably tick me offtoo.
(09:36):
What would that holding, thatspace, holding that you would do
for your friend?
Can you give that same exactgrace and compassion to yourself
?
And you can even use this howwould you speak to your niece or
your nephew?
Or, if you're a parent and youhave your own child, how would
you speak to them if they werereally uncomfortable around an
(09:57):
emotion or felt really angry orfelt really sad?
They probably show up for themand just be like I've got you,
no worries, and you might, youknow, give them some
motivational speaking or justlisten to them and like hear
them out.
You wouldn't necessarily likepush their emotions away or Make
(10:18):
them wrong for feeling whatthey're feeling.
How can you be your own bestfriend and how would you talk to
your best friend about what'scoming up for you?
Or how would you speak to yourniece, your nephew or, if your
parent, how would you speak toyour child about this thing.
And then our fourth way for youto strengthen the relationship
that you have with yourself isto move at your pace.
(10:39):
So Everyone is experiencingdifferent challenges, going
through different shifts, goingthrough different up levels.
You could be experiencing grief, breakups, promotions, having a
child there are so manydifferent milestones that we
Experience in our life ingeneral, but definitely, you
(11:02):
know, in our 20s and 30s and 40s, and I mean it's just so much
change and in the mix of all ofthose changes, allowing yourself
to change and grow andTransform in a way that feels
good for you.
So an example that I loved AlexHermosi shared a reel the other
(11:25):
day of him Talking and he hewas saying, like one of his
friends said to him you knowyou're, you've changed, like
you're different, and hisresponse was like yeah, and you
haven't.
And I was like, oh, my god,that's so good, you know.
So if you're experiencingsomething like of that flavor,
(11:45):
just really allowing yourself togo at the pace that feels good
for you in building thisrelationship that you have with
yourself, allowing yourself tochange, allowing yourself to let
go of what's no longer servingyou, and it might be
uncomfortable, but againpracticing that self-compassion,
like knowing that, whateverprocess you're going through,
(12:07):
like you're doing it, to haveyour own back, for your own
growth, for your ownTransformation, and that it's
okay to change, like it's okayto be different and evolve and
grow.
And then the last and fifth wayto strengthen the relationship
that you have with yourself isthrough a modality that I talk
about, frequently known as innerchild's healing.
And this is so powerful becausewhen you start practicing inner
(12:33):
child work, what you're sayingto yourself is that it all gets
to be here, so there's no partof me that's off limits, there's
no part of me that needs to bekind of pushed to the side.
And and it's so much morepowerful than quote-unquote
thinking positive.
Right, so we can think positive, we can think about our
(12:56):
feelings, we can talk about ourfeelings.
But when we're doing innerchild's healing, we're really
getting to the root of whatthose feelings and emotions
might be and we're saying, likeit's okay, you get to be here,
nothing needs to change or bedifferent like I've got you.
And what's really helpful aboutthis modality, too, is that
sometimes and I've talked aboutthis in a few previous episodes,
(13:17):
but I'll bring it up here again, because it's what's coming up
Um, is we kind of can hitourselves with what's called a
double arrow.
So we're we're shot with onearrow.
Let's say we're feeling anxious, we're shot with one hour,
we're feeling anxious.
And then, because we're feelinganxious, we start feeling shame
or grief or guilt about ouranxiety, so we shoot ourselves
(13:39):
with another arrow, so we shootourselves with two arrows
because we're feeling thisemotion.
We're like, nope, you shouldn'tbe feeling that way, like you
should be grateful, you shouldbe happy, you shouldn't be sad,
you should be scared, likewhatever the narrative is.
And once you start doing theinner child work, you have the
ability to Really becompassionate with yourself and
(14:01):
really strengthen thatrelationship with yourself and
Hit yourself with less of doublearrows.
So it's really helpful to kindof dive into this inner child
realm and see what comes up foryou.
And another aspect of innerchild healing that I find is so
empowering is that Once you'reable to get to the root of all
(14:22):
of anything that might be comingup for you, you just know
yourself so much in a like, in adeeper way, and you can
understand yourself from adifferent perspective.
That leads you to be moreemotionally intelligent, and
that is something that will setyou apart from another person
tenfold if you're able to meetyourself, when you are triggered
(14:45):
, when something is coming up,when a boundary has been crossed
, when something from your pastmaybe is coming up for you, and
you're able to meet yourselfwith self compassion, practice
your emotional intelligence,understand what's coming up for
you.
It's empowering and it alsojust kind of makes you like a
mind body ninja like you are,like you can do anything, really
(15:07):
bring so much power back toyourself rather than, if
anything being like external toyou, in an empowering way, not
in like a gaslighting way, soReally understanding that in
order to again strengthen thatrelationship with yourself, the
more you understand aboutyourself, the stronger that
relationship will be to Allright.
So to summarize the five waysto strengthen the relationship
(15:30):
that you have with yourself thefirst make it a relationship
that you're willing to improve.
Name it.
The second keep your agreementsthat you make to yourself.
The third be your own bestfriend.
How would you talk to your bestfriend about what's coming up
for you?
How would you meet your nieceor nephew or child about what's
coming up for you?
(15:50):
The fourth go at the pace thatfeels good for you.
Allow yourself to change, allowyourself to grow and number
five inner child's healing andpracticing the embodiment and
the mindset that it all gets tobe here.
There's nothing that's offlimits, bad or wrong Amazing.
(16:12):
So I hope you got some nuggetsfrom today's episode.
It was super fun for me torecord and, before we sign off
here, I'd love to share with youabout some upcoming events that
I have coming up either inJanuary or February and yeah, so
this Friday coming up, january19th, I'll be doing a vision
(16:33):
board workshop at Reiki shoresright in Island Park and that's
going to be a lot of fun.
That will include a future selfmeditation, some journaling and
then, of course, time to createyour vision boards and all the
materials are included, so thatshould be really fun.
On January 25th, I'll beteaching a breath, where healing
(16:53):
circle focused around anxietyand that will be at yoga shack
right at Beth page on LongIsland and that their community
is great.
It's a package of sessions, soit will be monthly for January,
february and March, and everytime I've taught at their studio
it's always just been Anamazing community and a great
(17:15):
experience.
So if you're looking to trybreathwork, or if you've done
breathwork before and you'relooking to experience it in a
group or in community.
That will be a lot of fun.
And then also on February 5th,12th and 26th, I'll be offering
individual breathwork sessionsat Reiki shores right in Island
Park.
So if you've been looking for aone on one breathwork session,
(17:38):
now is your time to jump on it.
I'm not sure how long I'll beoffering the one on one sessions
, but I wanted to try it andI've definitely gotten the
request to offer them in thepast, so we'll kind of we'll see
how it goes, we'll figure itout together.
But the opportunity to workwith me for a single individual
one on one breathwork sessionthe opportunity to work with me
it for a single individual oneon one breathwork session you
(18:00):
can do that on February 5th,february 12th or February 26th.
And then the last opportunitythat I'll share with you is with
modern wellness.
On February 22nd, I will behosting a virtual breathwork
session.
So this is also a breathworkhealing circle.
It will be focused aroundanxiety and releasing anxiety,
(18:22):
and modern wellness is great.
Bianca, the owner, she'swonderful, she'll be on the
podcast soon and their communityis lovely too.
So if you want to be incommunity, if you want to
release some anxiety and youwant to connect with your breath
, connect with your body, thendefinitely check out February
22nd virtual breathwork foranxiety at modern wellness.
(18:42):
Alright, so thank you so muchfor tuning in to today's episode
.
I'm so grateful that you tunein and listen and send me kind
messages and just let me knowhow you're feeling, what's
coming up for you.
It has been such a fun processfor me to create this podcast
and just this have this outletof my business, and you know I
(19:03):
really love it and I reallyenjoy it.
So thanks so much for tuning in.
I hope you have an incredibleweek.
I hope you have an incrediblerest of your day and I will talk
to you soon.
Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode.
If you are moved or inspired,please share with me by leaving
a reading and review on Applepodcast.
It means the world to me and Iam so appreciative for your
(19:27):
support in helping my podcastgrow.
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
Instagram and Tik Tok and followme at Ray the Semantic Coach.
Make sure you check out theshow notes of today's episode
for links to freebies,opportunities to work with me
and ways we can stay connectedoutside of the podcast.
I am so happy that you're hereand I can now eat to talk with
(19:48):
you on our next episode of theRadiant Life podcast.
Welcome to the Radiant Life podcast.
I'm your host, ray the SomaticCoach, and I'm here to support
you in healing your past, livingin the present and creating
your future so that you canbecome the most centered,
embodied and happiest version ofyourself.
Each week, I'll be bringing youepisodes to help you navigate
life's challenges, ease stressand tension and learn more about
(00:24):
holistic healing, spiritualityand wellness.
If you're interested inbecoming the best version of
yourself so that you can livethe life of your dreams, then
you're in the right place.
Subscribe to the podcast in themonthly newsletter and follow
me on Instagram and TikTok toknow when new episodes are
released each week.
I am so happy that you'velanded here.
(00:45):
Let's dive in.
Hello, my friends, welcome backto the podcast.
If you are new here, I'm Ray.
I'm a Somatic Coach andBreathwork facilitator.
And if you aren't new here,welcome back.
I'm so excited you're here andI can't wait to dive into
today's episode with you.
(01:05):
So, for today, we're going to betalking about the relationship
that you have with yourself, andthe reason why I chose this
topic was for two reasons.
I found that it was coming up alot with my individual clients
Just this concept of actuallyfeeling self-compassionate
towards yourself, especiallywhen you're doing inner child
(01:30):
work or somatic coaching orsomething like that.
If you're in a somaticexperience, it's really
important to have that capacityand that tool to be
self-compassionate towardsyourself.
So it definitely was coming upwith my private clients and then
also for myself.
I find, ironically enough, theepisode that I just recorded was
(01:51):
about anger and I find formyself sometimes, when anger
comes up for me, it's reallyhard for me to understand or
communicate if there was aboundary that was crossed or
something like that.
It's just an uncomfortableemotion.
And so all of these parts thatI'm going to share five
different aspects of being yourown best friend and
(02:13):
strengthening the relationshipthat you have with yourself all
of these steps that I'm going tomention have been really
helpful for my clients as wellas myself.
So, yeah, I hope you find valuein it and let's dive in.
So the first aspect ofstrengthening the relationship
that you have with yourself isnaming it and making it a
(02:35):
relationship that you're willingto improve, Just like any other
relationship that you have outthere, whether it's with a
friend or a parent or a siblingor a co-worker.
If there's no interest ornaming of improving that
relationship.
If it's something that youdesire, then it's probably not
(02:56):
really going to change.
So if you're looking to be moreself-compassionate with
yourself and want to improvethat relationship, name it.
The relationship that you havewith yourself is the most
important one and I think reallyat the core of a lot of the
work that I do is about thisrelationship.
It's knowing that, whateverhappens, you're not going to
(03:19):
turn on yourself and you'll,that you'll always have your own
back and this concept of alwayshaving your own back.
I don't know if we really spendthe time to think about it or
talk about it or name it, and Itook an online course for
embodying confidence and thisconcept was one of the modules
(03:41):
and it just landed so hard forme.
It was like if we, we arealready going up against so much
externally right, like pressurefrom society or an
uncomfortable relationship witha co-worker or Hearing negative
feedback from your friends oryou know I mean it could be
anything but we're already goingup against so much Externally
(04:05):
that internally, we might aswell be on our own team.
We already have so muchexternally that we're Navigating
.
We might as well be our ownbest teammate.
So, to summarize, the first wayto strengthen the relationship
that you have with yourself isto make it a relationship that
you're willing to improve.
Alright, and number two, it'sreally important that we keep
(04:27):
the agreements that we make toourself.
So I took a course when I was.
I guess it was like kind oflike a weekend long Retreat, I'm
not, I'm not really sure whatit would be called, but it was
three or four days, and this waslike when I was like 21 or 22
and One of my.
I had a lot of takeaways fromthe weekend in itself, but one
(04:49):
of the main takeaways that I hadwas the concept of integrity,
and integrity, to summarize, isdoing what you'll say you'll do
and Staying true to your word.
And so if we make agreementswith ourself and then we don't
show up for those agreements, itmakes sense that maybe we
wouldn't trust ourselves as muchor maybe we would turn on
(05:11):
ourself.
So it's really important that,whatever agreements we're making
to ourself, whether it's I'mgonna, you know, work out three
times a day I mean three times aweek, not three times a day I'm
gonna work out three times aweek or I'm gonna eat healthier
you know, we have all of thesegoals that maybe we've set.
You know, now that it's Januaryand the new year just passed,
(05:33):
like maybe, maybe you arethinking about what you want to
change this year.
It's like that's great andthat's awesome.
And how can you make agreementsto yourself that will set
yourself up for success, thatwill let yourself snowball into
More success and more confidenceand more self-trust, so
(05:56):
whatever that looks like for you, just being an integrity with
your own word and what you'vereally promised to yourself.
And I can share a personalexample Last week I had a cold.
It wasn't anything crazy, it wasjust like a regular like had
cold, like obviously it wasn'tfun, but I wasn't like you know,
um, I, it was just a regularhead cold.
(06:18):
So Saturday morning I wassupposed to go for a run.
One of the women that I'veconnected with in Long Beach
this woman, sarah she's arunning coach and she really
incorporates mindfulness,movement, running, walking.
So it's not necessarily aboutthe result, it's about how you
(06:38):
feel, it's about your mindsetand it's really totally aligned
with the kind of work that I do.
So we connected and she wantedto create an in-person
all-inclusive like running,walking, jogging, running club,
and so when we connected, sheinvited me to collaborate with
her on this idea and I was likeabsolutely, this is awesome.
(07:01):
I have run in the past.
I haven't been running lately,but maybe this will be kind of
the inspiration or motivationthat I need to pick running back
up.
So anyway, saturday morning wehad our first in-person meetup,
and when I woke up, I had a coldthe previous week and so I just
really didn't feel well.
I was just congested and I wasjust like I don't know, should I
(07:25):
just not go?
It was really foggy out.
It wasn't necessarily cold, itwas like 50 degrees, but it was
really windy and it was likethat eerie fog and I was like
you know what?
I'm going to go.
Because I told myself that thisis what I was doing.
I set my alarm, I got up andmaybe some fresh air will help.
(07:48):
I'll bring a few tissues.
I'm not like I already had acold for like a week, so it's
like the end of it.
It's not like I'm likecontagious or something like
that, like I'm going to go.
I said I was going to go, I'mgoing to go, and 1 million
percent worked for me in the end, because I was so happy that I
went.
I met so many cool people.
I was blown away with thepeople that were, that did show
(08:11):
up and that were just like supercool.
And we had a running group, wehad a walking group.
Anybody can come, like babies,strollers, dogs, like you name
it bring them.
And it was just so fun.
And that's all because I hadthis previous lesson that I
learned around integrity and Iwas just like you know what.
Go back to the core.
(08:32):
I said what I was going to do.
I'm not, like you know, deathlyill.
It's not like I just got sickor something like I know I can
handle this.
I'm going to stay true to myword.
Just an example and I'm surethat you can think of a few that
you've had recently and justknowing that keeping the
agreements that you make toyourself will absolutely
strengthen that relationshipthat you have with yourself.
(08:54):
And then we have our third wayof strengthening that
relationship and I've mentionedthis a little bit so far already
in the beginning but reallybeing your own best friend.
If something comes up for you,if something is challenging, how
would you talk to your absolutebest friend about that thing?
This could be something big,this could be something small.
(09:16):
It could be a micro moment inthe middle of your day.
How would you talk to your bestfriend about that thing?
I imagine it would be supercompassionate, it would be
really understanding.
Maybe you would empathize withthem.
Maybe you would say I get that.
That really makes sense.
That would probably tick me offtoo.
(09:36):
What would that holding, thatspace, holding that you would do
for your friend?
Can you give that same exactgrace and compassion to yourself
?
And you can even use this howwould you speak to your niece or
your nephew?
Or, if you're a parent and youhave your own child, how would
you speak to them if they werereally uncomfortable around an
(09:57):
emotion or felt really angry orfelt really sad?
They probably show up for themand just be like I've got you,
no worries, and you might, youknow, give them some
motivational speaking or justlisten to them and like hear
them out.
You wouldn't necessarily likepush their emotions away or Make
(10:18):
them wrong for feeling whatthey're feeling.
How can you be your own bestfriend and how would you talk to
your best friend about what'scoming up for you?
Or how would you speak to yourniece, your nephew or, if your
parent, how would you speak toyour child about this thing.
And then our fourth way for youto strengthen the relationship
that you have with yourself isto move at your pace.
(10:39):
So Everyone is experiencingdifferent challenges, going
through different shifts, goingthrough different up levels.
You could be experiencing grief, breakups, promotions, having a
child there are so manydifferent milestones that we
Experience in our life ingeneral, but definitely, you
(11:02):
know, in our 20s and 30s and 40s, and I mean it's just so much
change and in the mix of all ofthose changes, allowing yourself
to change and grow andTransform in a way that feels
good for you.
So an example that I loved AlexHermosi shared a reel the other
(11:25):
day of him Talking and he hewas saying, like one of his
friends said to him you knowyou're, you've changed, like
you're different, and hisresponse was like yeah, and you
haven't.
And I was like, oh, my god,that's so good, you know.
So if you're experiencingsomething like of that flavor,
(11:45):
just really allowing yourself togo at the pace that feels good
for you in building thisrelationship that you have with
yourself, allowing yourself tochange, allowing yourself to let
go of what's no longer servingyou, and it might be
uncomfortable, but againpracticing that self-compassion,
like knowing that, whateverprocess you're going through,
(12:07):
like you're doing it, to haveyour own back, for your own
growth, for your ownTransformation, and that it's
okay to change, like it's okayto be different and evolve and
grow.
And then the last and fifth wayto strengthen the relationship
that you have with yourself isthrough a modality that I talk
about, frequently known as innerchild's healing.
And this is so powerful becausewhen you start practicing inner
(12:33):
child work, what you're sayingto yourself is that it all gets
to be here, so there's no partof me that's off limits, there's
no part of me that needs to bekind of pushed to the side.
And and it's so much morepowerful than quote-unquote
thinking positive.
Right, so we can think positive, we can think about our
(12:56):
feelings, we can talk about ourfeelings.
But when we're doing innerchild's healing, we're really
getting to the root of whatthose feelings and emotions
might be and we're saying, likeit's okay, you get to be here,
nothing needs to change or bedifferent like I've got you.
And what's really helpful aboutthis modality, too, is that
sometimes and I've talked aboutthis in a few previous episodes,
(13:17):
but I'll bring it up here again, because it's what's coming up
Um, is we kind of can hitourselves with what's called a
double arrow.
So we're we're shot with onearrow.
Let's say we're feeling anxious, we're shot with one hour,
we're feeling anxious.
And then, because we're feelinganxious, we start feeling shame
or grief or guilt about ouranxiety, so we shoot ourselves
(13:39):
with another arrow, so we shootourselves with two arrows
because we're feeling thisemotion.
We're like, nope, you shouldn'tbe feeling that way, like you
should be grateful, you shouldbe happy, you shouldn't be sad,
you should be scared, likewhatever the narrative is.
And once you start doing theinner child work, you have the
ability to Really becompassionate with yourself and
(14:01):
really strengthen thatrelationship with yourself and
Hit yourself with less of doublearrows.
So it's really helpful to kindof dive into this inner child
realm and see what comes up foryou.
And another aspect of innerchild healing that I find is so
empowering is that Once you'reable to get to the root of all
(14:22):
of anything that might be comingup for you, you just know
yourself so much in a like, in adeeper way, and you can
understand yourself from adifferent perspective.
That leads you to be moreemotionally intelligent, and
that is something that will setyou apart from another person
tenfold if you're able to meetyourself, when you are triggered
(14:45):
, when something is coming up,when a boundary has been crossed
, when something from your pastmaybe is coming up for you, and
you're able to meet yourselfwith self compassion, practice
your emotional intelligence,understand what's coming up for
you.
It's empowering and it alsojust kind of makes you like a
mind body ninja like you are,like you can do anything, really
(15:07):
bring so much power back toyourself rather than, if
anything being like external toyou, in an empowering way, not
in like a gaslighting way, soReally understanding that in
order to again strengthen thatrelationship with yourself, the
more you understand aboutyourself, the stronger that
relationship will be to Allright.
So to summarize the five waysto strengthen the relationship
(15:30):
that you have with yourself thefirst make it a relationship
that you're willing to improve.
Name it.
The second keep your agreementsthat you make to yourself.
The third be your own bestfriend.
How would you talk to your bestfriend about what's coming up
for you?
How would you meet your nieceor nephew or child about what's
coming up for you?
(15:50):
The fourth go at the pace thatfeels good for you.
Allow yourself to change, allowyourself to grow and number
five inner child's healing andpracticing the embodiment and
the mindset that it all gets tobe here.
There's nothing that's offlimits, bad or wrong Amazing.
(16:12):
So I hope you got some nuggetsfrom today's episode.
It was super fun for me torecord and, before we sign off
here, I'd love to share with youabout some upcoming events that
I have coming up either inJanuary or February and yeah, so
this Friday coming up, january19th, I'll be doing a vision
(16:33):
board workshop at Reiki shoresright in Island Park and that's
going to be a lot of fun.
That will include a future selfmeditation, some journaling and
then, of course, time to createyour vision boards and all the
materials are included, so thatshould be really fun.
On January 25th, I'll beteaching a breath, where healing
(16:53):
circle focused around anxietyand that will be at yoga shack
right at Beth page on LongIsland and that their community
is great.
It's a package of sessions, soit will be monthly for January,
february and March, and everytime I've taught at their studio
it's always just been Anamazing community and a great
(17:15):
experience.
So if you're looking to trybreathwork, or if you've done
breathwork before and you'relooking to experience it in a
group or in community.
That will be a lot of fun.
And then also on February 5th,12th and 26th, I'll be offering
individual breathwork sessionsat Reiki shores right in Island
Park.
So if you've been looking for aone on one breathwork session,
(17:38):
now is your time to jump on it.
I'm not sure how long I'll beoffering the one on one sessions
, but I wanted to try it andI've definitely gotten the
request to offer them in thepast, so we'll kind of we'll see
how it goes, we'll figure itout together.
But the opportunity to workwith me for a single individual
one on one breathwork sessionthe opportunity to work with me
it for a single individual oneon one breathwork session you
(18:00):
can do that on February 5th,february 12th or February 26th.
And then the last opportunitythat I'll share with you is with
modern wellness.
On February 22nd, I will behosting a virtual breathwork
session.
So this is also a breathworkhealing circle.
It will be focused aroundanxiety and releasing anxiety,
(18:22):
and modern wellness is great.
Bianca, the owner, she'swonderful, she'll be on the
podcast soon and their communityis lovely too.
So if you want to be incommunity, if you want to
release some anxiety and youwant to connect with your breath
, connect with your body, thendefinitely check out February
22nd virtual breathwork foranxiety at modern wellness.
(18:42):
Alright, so thank you so muchfor tuning in to today's episode
.
I'm so grateful that you tunein and listen and send me kind
messages and just let me knowhow you're feeling, what's
coming up for you.
It has been such a fun processfor me to create this podcast
and just this have this outletof my business, and you know I
(19:03):
really love it and I reallyenjoy it.
So thanks so much for tuning in.
I hope you have an incredibleweek.
I hope you have an incrediblerest of your day and I will talk
to you soon.
Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode.
If you are moved or inspired,please share with me by leaving
a reading and review on Applepodcast.
It means the world to me and Iam so appreciative for your
(19:27):
support in helping my podcastgrow.
If we aren't already connectedon social media, head over to
Instagram and Tik Tok and followme at Ray the Semantic Coach.
Make sure you check out theshow notes of today's episode
for links to freebies,opportunities to work with me
and ways we can stay connectedoutside of the podcast.
I am so happy that you're hereand I can now eat to talk with
(19:48):
you on our next episode of theRadiant Life podcast.
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