Second Cup: Plan it in, do it anyway

Want a good life? Think beyond how you feel right now.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning.
This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
tip is a phrase I repeat to myself all the time.
Plan it in, do it anyway. I find I make
much better use of my time when I think beyond

(00:24):
how I feel right now, A better question when I
think about how I spend my time looking back? Will
I be happy I did this? Will I be happy
with this memory? If so, my experiencing self just needs
to get on board. That phrase experiencing self comes from
psychologist Daniel Kanneman's work. This Nobel Prize winning researcher noted

(00:48):
that the self really has multiple identities. There's what we're
going through right at this instant, the moment when you're
listening to me tell you about this topic. But much
of our internal lives actually involve the remembering self, the
keeper of our memories. You think back to your life
and the story of what brought you to this moment.
I actually like to think about this in terms of

(01:08):
three selves, the experiencing self and the remembering self, but
also the anticipating self. Another big chunk of our interior
monologues consists of our plans, hopes, and anxieties about the future.
You might be commuting on a rainy day, but you're
thinking about that sunny beach vacation you have planned for August.
Our brains have an amazing ability to time travel backwards

(01:32):
and forwards. Here's why this matters as we think about
how we spend our time. The present is actually an
incredibly ephemeral moment. In his book The Principles of Psychology,
William James writes, where is it this present? It has
melted in our grasp, fled ere, We could touch it,
gone in the instant of becoming. Back in William James's day,

(01:56):
there was a lot of strange experimental inquiry into the
exact length of the present. Our senses can't distinguish between
things that happen less than about a half second apart,
and working memory is a maximum of about twelve seconds.
So the length of the present must be somewhere in there,
or at least that's what I gather from reading about
these various experiments. So the present is fleeting. Almost all

(02:19):
of life is lived by the anticipating and remembering selves.
We can anticipate for years, we can remember for decades
The challenge is that the present, the moment occupied by
the experiencing self, has a disproportionate effect on our actions,
and frankly, the experiencing self is a little bit lazy.

(02:42):
The remembering self will be thrilled to have gone on
that early morning trail run so she can see the
gorgeous sun rise over that nearby lake. The experiencing self, well,
she's comfortable in bed, hitting snooze until the sun is
high in the sky. The anticipating self thought it would
be fun to go to an art museum on a
Friday night when admission is free and there's a bar

(03:04):
and music, and the remembering self will fondly recall the
masterpieces and chatting with new friends in line for a cocktail.
But the experiencing self is tired after work. The experiencing
self is the one who will have to brave the
cold and the rain and the Friday night traffic. The
experiencing self is not happy about this split of labor,

(03:25):
so she rebels. She ignores what the anticipating and remembering
self want, and justifies this tantrum by pointing out that
the museum will still be there next Friday, so she's
just going to watch Netflix instead, immediate pleasure wins out
over the more effortful sort. One of the best ways
I've heard this phenomenon described is in philosopher Robert Gruden's

(03:47):
book Time and the Art of Living. He says, we
pamper the present like a spoiled child. We indulge its
whim to scroll through Instagram instead of living a life
worth taking pictures about. So how do we keep the
experiencing selfs tyranny in check? It isn't easy. People are

(04:08):
bad at considering their future selves in general, which is
why so few people invest properly for retirement. But that's
where my mantra comes in. Whenever I find myself listening
too much to the experiencing self, I repeat my phrase,
plan it in do it anyway. If my anticipating self
really wanted to do something, my remembering self will probably

(04:30):
be glad that I did it. I may be tired,
but guess what, I'll always be tired, and we draw
energy from meaningful things. Furthermore, all time passes, whether I
do anything today or not. Eventually today will be gone,
Tomorrow will be gone too. Time can be filled with

(04:54):
what amounts to nothing, or it can be filled with
something more meaningful. So if you'd like to have time
feel richer and more meaningful, plan in exciting things the
many adventures we've talked about in previous episodes, and some
bigger adventures too. And then when you get to the
moment and you are wavering because your couch seems inviting,

(05:18):
repeat this phrase. Plan it in. Do it anyway. Your
remembering self will thank you. In fact, if you want
to encourage this mindset in the future, take a moment
right now to thank your past experiencing self for having
done something difficult that you can now smile upon. I

(05:39):
just spent some time looking through photos I took a
few weeks ago of my kids at a botanical garden.
They did not want to turn off their video games
and get in the car. My experiencing self did not
enjoy that battle. But all that is in the past. Now.
What is left are these images of sunshine and flowers
and children in a moment of childhood that will be

(06:01):
gone before I know it. So what will you decide
to do anyway today? Feel free to let me know
at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot com. In the meantime,
this is Laura, thanks for listening and here's to making
the most of our time. Hey everybody, I'd love to

(06:26):
hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook
and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod. That's b E the
number four then Breakfast pod. You can also shoot me
an email at Before Breakfast podcast at iHeartMedia dot com

(06:47):
that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all the letters.
Thanks so much. Should I look forward to staying in touch.
Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts
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(07:07):
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