Therapy, Coaching & Dreams

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We dig into why simple questions can feel like attacks, how to pause before defenses take over, and what healthy masculine and feminine responses sound like when tensions rise. We connect the dots between conflict, self-love for responders, and dreams that process the emotions we ignore by day.

• how interpretation turns questions into accusations
• the pause that makes space for truth and choice
• toxic...

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We explore how mental health concerns intersect with the STIR model and show how balance, flexible thinking, and self-awareness transform relationships. From early dating green flags to parenting stalemates, we lay out practical steps to move toward the middle and reduce projection.

We walk through real-world moments—early dating, high-conflict parenting, and long-term partnership—to show how to spot green flags...

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We explore how addictive behaviors can be signals from unbalanced inner energies, how to hear what the unconscious is asking for, and why old issues resurface even after insight. We close with a grounded view of integration, spiritual connection, and practical next steps that honor both emotion and choice.

• masculine and feminine energies across dynamic and static styles
• addiction as unconscious coping wh...

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We take listener questions on how to “preempt” midlife turmoil, why flexible thinking beats rumination, and what healthy self-sufficiency looks like when you still need people. Along the way we use our four-quadrant model to reframe boundaries, create validation, and speak your partner’s language.

• difference between liking change and flexible thinking
• turning beliefs back into opinions to reopen options<...

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We explore the STIR framework and answer a listener’s question about whether the goal is to stand in the center of all four styles, or to use each style wisely. We map how to grow in a resistant environment, when leaving is healthy, and how to set boundaries without turning conflict into a scorecard.

• STIR overview and the four styles
• Standing in the middle versus using what you need when you need it
...

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We open our archive of listener questions to explore how to give honest feedback without a therapy license, how to manage triggers with self-awareness, and how parents can raise more integrated, emotionally grounded kids. We use simple tools like permission, curiosity, and active listening, then wrestle with school competition, adolescent individuation, and the culture’s uneasy relationship with accountability.

...

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What if your stress, your arguments, and your burnout all point to one simple mismatch—using the right energy at the wrong time? We explore a Jungian-informed model of four energies—Stabilizer, Transformer, Initiator, Responder (STIR)—and show how balancing them reduces conflict, eases burnout, and strengthens relationships. Real client stories ground the ideas in clear steps you can use.

We start with the Stabilizer: the...

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Ever catch yourself asking, “Is anybody thirsty?” when you really mean, “I am thirsty”? That’s projection. Projection is the way we see our denied traits, desires, needs, and fears in other people. In this episode we dig into projection with clear language, real stories, and actionable tools you can use the next time a small ask turns into a big fight.

We break down how projection can make our attraction to anot...

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The hardest part of growing up isn’t getting older—it’s seeing yourself clearly. We start with a raw reaction to a public figure’s killing and follow the thread into how midlife shakes our beliefs, our relationships, and the stories we tell about who we are. That shift often arrives as discomfort: a spouse says “I’m unhappy,” a job that once thrilled now numbs, a faith you inherited asks to be re-examined. Instead of tre...

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This episode considers the importance of integrating the various personality styles. We explore the sobering shift from rescue fantasies to self-responsibility and how flexible thinking builds emotional safety and connection. Along the way, we unpack the minimized feminine voice, creativity as a practice, and why humor often shows up as armor.

• accepting that no one will rescue us
• hearing the feminine voi...

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A single line sparked the conversation: the life you want is on the other side of the work you’re avoiding. From that starting point, we unpack what actually turns insight into movement and why so many smart plans stall before they start. We talk candidly about initiating energy—the force that begins things—and how non‑initiators can find it without trying to become someone they’re not, while initiators learn to temper s...

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Ambition can build bridges or burn them—so how do you keep the fire without scorching your team or your relationships? We dive into the Initiator, a personality expression defined by dynamic masculine energy: goal-first, action-forward, and relentlessly independent. Think founders, crisis leaders, and the people who move when everyone else hesitates. We unpack the real strengths—decisiveness, clarity, and momentum—alongs...

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We unpack the Responder style—how nurturing brings safety and connection, and how over-functioning turns love into control.  You’ll hear the difference between static care that over-plans every risk and dynamic care that adapts in the moment. We talk through the classic attraction dance: why unintegrated Responders often choose highly driven, aggressive partners, how dependency erodes respect, and where emotional or even...

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Ever been the life of the party—and then felt the crash after? We dig into the “dynamic feminine” energy: the magnetic spark that says the unsaid, generates fun, and moves people forward, but can also ignore limits, dodge accountability, and create chaos when it runs the show. Together, we map where this energy shines at work and at home, and where it needs a counterbalance to sustain trust, health, and momentum. We call...

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Episode 7: The Four Personality Styles

We continue the discussion of personality. We propose that there are four aspects or expressions of personality. Those four aspects include a dynamic energy, a static (or stabilizing) energy, a feminine expression and a masculine expression. These combine to create four different personality types. Most everyone has within them the possibility of accessing any of these types, though ...

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Feminine, masculine and androgynous characteristics are in every person. This is not a description of male versus female. Rather it is an acknowledgement that human personality has a broad spectrum of expression, and we might benefit greatly from better understanding of those parts of ourselves that dominate our personality and those parts that have remained undeveloped.

Cohosts Dee Kelley and Jim Shalley provide some pat...

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This episode explores the dynamic and static components of our personality. Cohosts Dee Kelley and Jim Shalley provide useful examples of how these different styles complement one another and antagonize one another. Some of the key points include the following:

     1. A dynamic energy or style is typically action-oriented, creating movement and change. A static energy or style organizes, puts systems in place and manages...

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The cohosts present the Stabilizer personality style, referred to as a static-masculine energy. Everyone has this within them. For some it is dormant and rarely accessed, and for others it is their dominant style. This style is discussed, both in its healthy form and in it dysfunctional form. It is also compared to the other three styles (Initiator, Transformer and Responder). Here are some of the key issues discussed.

  ...

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Episode three continues the discussion of our family of origin and its affects on our current relationships. Here are some of the key concepts and questions.

     1. How did your parents handle emotions? (This is not about blaming anybody; it is just diagnostic.)

     2. Do you see any similarities between how your parents handled emotions and how you handle emotions in your current relationships?

     3. Each child is rais...