Therapy, Coaching & Dreams
Therapy, Coaching & Dreams is cohosted by Dr. Jim Shalley and Dr. Selden Dee Kelley III, a therapist and a coach who love talking about how inner work can help you live with more awareness, purpose and freedom.
Episodes
A court decision about Facebook and adolescents sparks a bigger question we can’t ignore: are we trying to solve a family-by-family problem with a one-size-fits-all rule? We take that current event and pull it straight into real life parenting, where social media, gaming, and screen time limits can quickly turn into daily conflict, secrecy, or shutdown.
We talk through why kids get hooked in the first p...
A party can be the same room for two people and two completely different experiences. One of us leaves buzzing with energy and wants to keep the night going. The other is wiped out, even if we had a great time. We unpack introvert vs extrovert as an energy and recovery dynamic, not a character flaw, and we talk honestly about the quiet shame many introverts feel when they think they “should” be having mo...
One unfamiliar phrase on a medical lab report. And then, one late-night internet search. Suddenly your mind is certain you’re headed for the worst-case scenario. We know that feeling, and we dig into why it happens: imagination rushes in to fill the blanks, anxiety grabs the pen, and the “story in your head” starts reading like facts.
We talk through how catastrophizing and rumination ...
We use the STIR model to get clear on what different personality energies need so we can stop guessing and start showing up well for the people we care about. We share concrete ways to support initiators, transformers, responders, and stabilizers at home and at work without losing ourselves in the process.
• using a personality template to reduce relationship guesswork
• what initiators need most: ...
We dig into the STIR personality model and why personality balance matters more than personality labels. We connect relationship conflict to projection, stress patterns, and the hard truth that insight only becomes healing when it turns into action.
• the STIR framework as four interaction styles: stabilizer, transformer, initiator, responder
• how the model develops through clinical work, client f...
We answer listener questions that get practical fast, from what it means to be a licensed therapist to how state rules shape who can practice where. Then we shift into the STIR personality model to talk about birth order, family dynamics, parenting, and why self-awareness matters more than forcing yourself to change.
• what “licensed” means and why states regulate therapy
• degrees, sup...
Grief has a way of humbling every personality style, especially the ones that love a plan. We sit down with Jim Shaley to talk about what grief really looks like when it’s not tidy, not linear, and definitely not finished by the end of a single conversation. The five stages of grief can be a useful starting point, but we challenge the idea that healing means you stop feeling sad. For most of us, the goal is si...
Vocational Trauma
Your anxiety spikes, your mind races, and suddenly you’re pricing out worst-case scenarios: health insurance, bills, the family vacation, the next job. We pick up a candid conversation on vocational trauma and talk about what actually helps when work stress hits your body like an alarm you can’t shut off.
We start with the most overlooked tool for job loss anxiety and workplace pa...
We dig into vocational trauma and why job loss, demotions, workplace upheaval, and feeling trapped at work can shake your finances, relationships, and sense of self. We walk through what helps in the first wave of shock and how to rebuild control and identity without pretending the pain is not real.
• definitions and real-world triggers of vocational trauma, from firings to reorganizations and workplace co...
We talk about what a faith crisis really looks like and why it often shows up as we grow into nuance rather than certainty. We share practical ways to explore belief, handle family pressure, and deconstruct without losing the parts that still give life.
• defining the presenting issue behind spiritual struggle
• exploring faith for the first time through trusted friendships
• visiting a pl...
We talk about what it feels like to live in the middle of three generations, with kids launching into adulthood while parents begin to need care and oversight. We focus on staying emotionally healthy through grief, sibling stress, and identity shifts so we can show up with steadiness instead of exhaustion.
• the sandwich generation reality of simultaneous transitions
• using the oxygen mask rule to...
The healthiest changes in your life can still blow up the system around you. When you stop a habit, set a boundary, or simply decide you’re done carrying a role, it doesn’t just affect you. It reshapes family systems, friendships, and the unwritten agreements inside long-term relationships. We dig into why that disruption is so common, and why it can feel both encouraging and strangely painful at the sam...
As a coach and a therapist and get specific about what we mean when we say “ego.” From there, we break the ego into real-world patterns you’ve probably seen at work and at home: the fragile ego that can’t tolerate threat, the inflated ego that resists other possibilities, and the crushed ego that shuts down under defeat. We talk candidly about how a truly crushed ego can drift toward suicidal...
A sexual dream can feel like your mind just exposed you, especially when the dream partner makes no sense or the emotion is stronger than you expected. We slow that moment down and reframe it through dream work: sexuality in dreams often points to psychological integration, where you are trying to connect with parts of yourself you have ignored, feared, or kept too controlled. When we treat sex dreams as symbols ins...
We talk through why couples get trapped in the same arguments and how the real issue is often the unresolved dynamic underneath the topic. We share practical ways to separate validation from agreement, navigate competing anxieties, and make small behavior shifts that change both relationships and mood.
• recurring couple conflict around finances, parenting, division of labor, intimacy
• communication...
We explore why symbols matter in dreams, therapy, and everyday life, and why the same image can carry wildly different meanings depending on your story and culture. We walk through practical ways to ask better questions so symbols become tools for insight instead of shortcuts to certainty.
• symbols as more than literal objects
• collective meanings vs personal meanings
• logos, brands, an...
A terrifying dream. A stranger at the door. A jolt of fear so sharp it lingers into daylight and forces a question most of us avoid: what if my dreams are trying to tell me something real? We share a special reading from Dee Kelley’s book, Dreamwork, It’s Not That Complicated, starting with an invitation into dreamwork that begins with one unsettling night and the decision not to shut the whole system do...
We share two real dreams and use them to explore how personality, grief, and spiritual growth show up in the images our minds create at night. We leave with a grounded way to experiment with new rhythms while still honoring responsibility and relationships.
• a short dream about a deceased mother as a symbol of caretaking, tradition, and faith-based wisdom
• noticing “weakness” as a cue...
We unpack what the shadow side really means and why it often shows up through big emotions, relationship conflict, and projection. We also explore how dreams can deliver shadow material at a pace we can handle, so curiosity replaces fear and growth becomes possible.
• defining the shadow side as denied or unrecognized parts of self
• why “denial” is not always conscious and how triggers...
Dreams aren’t just strange stories your brain invents at night. They can be a practical pathway to self-awareness, emotional regulation, and real change, especially when you learn how to work with them. Dee Kelley and Jim Shalley, a coach and a therapist, share a grounded approach to dream work built on clear principles you can actually use.
We start by laying out ten principles that guide healthy...
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